Predictable Condition

[Zariah]

(O.O.C. NOT PERSONAL)

 

 

 

You attempt to extinguish flames from my scorching heart.

Constantly you are repentant after the detail.

Anguish can not comprehend the agony I employ.

Your overrated “I Love You’s” only fuel the fire.

Devotion does not exceed sentiment always.

So again I must overlook my repulsive scars,

And redeem your merit in my distant eyes.

Edited October 9, 2003 by Zariah

[Nyyark]

Oooo very scathing, I feel it forfills its intention.

[Tralla]

oooooh I like. =)

[Ayshela]

i keep coming back to this and re-reading it and twisting the final line around to look at again and again..

And redeem your merit in my distant eyes.

so often we think of it as having to redeem our own merit, but this.. all too often, isn't this the case?

and oddly enough i find i can think of a few people for whom it's no longer worth the effort. let "distant eyes" be the least distant about it. <_>

 

well done, and very thought provoking.

[Yatsuna13]

i love it! just recently my brother felt that way... i hope some day to be such a great writer like you but i'm still building my skills up

 

Yatsuna

[Zariah]

Awwww! That is so sweet of you to say that I am a good writer....let alone that you wish to be like me? Wow! (Other than my lack of self confidence) I don;t really think I am a great writer. If i could mention others here who I believe are quite more advanced than myself, the list would be very very long.... but thank you for your compliment.

 

It's interesting b/c this poem was buried and lovely Asheyla brought it back to the top....heehee...she is always so kind (and one of those whom I would look to as a great writer on my laundry list of pen members names)

 

I hope to continue growing here at the pen, and maybe when I am 75 and have so much growth that when I hear those words I can believe they are where credit is earned. In the mean time, write some, write lots! I love to read others writings (especially poems)!

 

Zariah