DoomGaze Posted October 6, 2003 Report Posted October 6, 2003 Statue's Tear =============== The howling wind of the north, Blisters the hallways with cold. And through dank passages come forth, A statue with face condoled. Frozen in time for an eternity, Left to live alone. A king he was, ruling so blindly, Sat on his marble throne. His emotions unstable, A curse befell upon his crown. In his final moments, he was able To shed a single tear renown. Now that tear lay dormant, Forever imbued in stone. And many memories absent, Better off unknown.
Peredhil Posted October 6, 2003 Report Posted October 6, 2003 I like this. It would fit a legend for a RP world, the sort of thing the adventurers hear the wandering minstrel sing as the "hook". Some of the verb tensed seem a little awkward to me though - for instance, I thought "condoled" was a shared feeling of misery or grief. "I condoled with him". Used in the singular, wouldn't it be condoling (which doesn't fit the rhyme). I think you have something good here. You say you worked on it - and in my opinion, it shows. -Peredhil
Parmenion Posted October 6, 2003 Report Posted October 6, 2003 I think the lad is allowed a little poetic licence Peredhil I enjoyed this - I agree with Pere about the RPG type feel, very nice and an eeire and desolate feel from it with a sense of pride ages dead.
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