Louveteau Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 My second post. If anyone got something to add, comments or advices, please say so. And else just enjoy it But don't forget, this is what I think about it Blissful joy I close my eyes and feel the sun shining on my face. My eyes are closed, I enjoy the heat, As I open my eyes I feel a cool breeze pass by, I feel the heat fade and come back again, The sensation sends shivers through my spine, I know I’m alive, I feel alive, I felt the joy, The blissful joy, from a cool breeze on a hot summer day
Appy Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 neat lil thing this *applauds* I like it
Louveteau Posted September 16, 2003 Author Report Posted September 16, 2003 (edited) Gracias Glad you like it, now some constructive replies as well Edited September 16, 2003 by Louveteau
Gwaihir Posted September 17, 2003 Report Posted September 17, 2003 I like the poem, but if you want criticism I do feel that some of the words that you repeat shouldn't be because of the length of the poem.
Parmenion Posted September 19, 2003 Report Posted September 19, 2003 Am glad you found your way to these boards Louveteau Some people have set styles about poetry. It must rhyme, it must have the same number of syllables in each line, it must flow well, it must have meaning etc... The poems that I find most difficult to comment constructively in a critical fashion on are those that do not adhere to a certain style. The reason being because they are usually a process of raw feeling and sense from the soul of an author. These also happen to be the types of poems I most enjoy reading. They reflect the mind of the author sometimes more vividly than a work which is tampered with to fit a style. I couldn't comment critically on this. I felt what I believed you were trying to portray - that sense of Euphoria that just makes a person grin like the cat who got the milk! It is a good sense of well being and I enjoyed this very much when I read it.
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