Ayshela Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 This has been kicking around in inchoate form for more months than i care to think about, much less admit. I may rework it, i'm not certain, but right now i think it needs to be *said* more than any further revisions. ~~~~~ i see.. ~~~~~ i.. i.. i'm what??? stuttering, stammering, staring like a blind fool into the face of compassion. You are. Isn't that enough? You are generous, and kind, - don't look away from me - you are smart, and you love abundantly, though you've been shown precious little. i couldn't help but turn away.. i'm sorry.. i'm NOT - You ARE. Why won't you just once, if only once, believe me? his hands on my shoulders turn me back to face him. Why do you always and only see the negative? Because.. please no, i don't want to admit this please no, i don't want to cry there's nothing else TO see. Oh, but there is. - don't turn away - There is more. There is so much more that you will never see until you look for it. See yourself, just this once, through my eyes - not their lies. Your mirror filters through their lies, so all you see is all they told you. See through my eyes, to see who you are. You are kind. You are gentle. You are good. i could not bear the fire in his eyes. i could not help but turn away again. He turned me to the mirror, then he turned my face to his. Trapped deep within his gentle eyes, he spoke my name and i began to cry.
Alaeha Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 I love the way the title works with all of this... everyone sees... but what do they see? For what it's worth, I say the blue voice is right. *Hugs*
Ayshela Posted September 16, 2003 Author Report Posted September 16, 2003 thank you. and.. somehow, someway.. i'm quite certain Sean would agree with you.
Merelas Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 You are so lucky to have such a blue voice in your life. This poem is striking. I cannot think of a better word for it. This is so striking, that I am forced to see that through all pain comes vision. If you learn from an experience, and use it to face the future, then nothing has been lost... save maybe a little pride. Keep your chin up, kiddo... and post some more writing like this
Peredhil Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 Hurrah! Go Blue Voices of the world! Break the old mirrors, turn and see the present realities!
Appy Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 *Appy applauds* I really like this style of writing, not sure how you would revise this, but it seems already to capture the core... Ugh i'm horrible at commenting lol, I'll stick with just really liking this, and looking forward to more
Louveteau Posted September 16, 2003 Report Posted September 16, 2003 Impressive, got no other words for it. I kinda like the style you used though I dun think I'd be able to do it lke you did And it's always good to have a blue voice around, even if you don't really need it. It's nice to know people care about you and like you.
Ayshela Posted October 11, 2003 Author Report Posted October 11, 2003 even better to have a blue voice around when you desperately need one.
Peredhil Posted October 11, 2003 Report Posted October 11, 2003 I suggest the incredible rewards of being a mirror - being the blue voice. Watching someone stretch and break the bonds they didn't know they were wearing. Watching someone discover they are powerful and others held them back because they feared that strength. Watching someone grow so much, they are strong enough to help others grow without emptying or taking. It's worth trying to be a blue voice, with no agendas other than the joy of a parent watching a child take its first triumphant step. All it takes is turning around, looking outward seeing clearly and speaking what you see.
Beautiful Nightmare Posted October 11, 2003 Report Posted October 11, 2003 Hehehe god how i have had that conversation over and over me of course being the person who turns away! Isnt that right pere? God we have had many! And its so hard i always have to look away! Anyway dont mind my blabbing on haha! I loved the poem hun well done *hugs* xxx
HopperWolf Posted October 11, 2003 Report Posted October 11, 2003 hun, this is a truely deep and honest piece. probably the best work i have read recently. Not just for the emotional context but also the form and structure. you carry it off well.
Ayshela Posted October 11, 2003 Author Report Posted October 11, 2003 thank you.. and you may even know how much your kind words mean. *hugs* Arwen - isn't is *hard* not to look away? i've never managed not to yet. <_>
Ayshela Posted October 27, 2003 Author Report Posted October 27, 2003 (edited) Ayshela shuffles in with a despairing sigh, nerves herself to speak without stuttering, and tries to ignore that she's stuttering anyway i was speaking with a friend who suggested that i look through some of the older posts for a specific author, as in conversation i had nearly quoted her. Having done so, i came upon one of her poems which is very similar to mine, here, and despite my initial inclination to bolt in a tizzy of panic, i'm accepting the suggestion to post the link here and let everyone draw their own conclusions. Why the similarity? We're from the same geographic region, have the same mentor, similar life experiences.. i don't know. i know only that i stumbled upon Roses will be Roses more than a week after i posted "i see", i had never seen it before or even heard of the author. edit: i just checked the archives and i actually found her poem on the eleventh of october, nearly a month after i posted mine. <_> Edited October 27, 2003 by Ayshela
Peredhil Posted October 28, 2003 Report Posted October 28, 2003 Huggles As the Mentor in question, can I say how incredibly proud of both you, and Porcelin (Heart like a Hole) I am? It's almost eerie how those two poems parallel each other - and some of the others from other people who've sent me similiar poems over the last few years - but just couldn't stand to post them. When you've been lied to with certain lies, when abusers have tried to destroy something inside - they leave behind the voices and echos of their darkness. If they started young enough - those lying voices sound like your own thoughts. Once you learn enough to challenge them with reality... You get affirmation poetry like these - if you're smart enough, creative enough, and enough of you has survived to write it. I'm so intensely proud of all those who fight for health and the right to love. Hugs again Peredhil
Ayshela Posted October 28, 2003 Author Report Posted October 28, 2003 oh!! *drowns happily in huggles* *you*... you can say anything you want. LOL i find, most often, i'm just sad that someone else understands.. but i never thought to find myself saying so much the same, in so much the same way.. it's eerie, sometimes, and almost enough to make me want to check if i'm still who i thought i was! i'm fortunate enough to have two strong solid blue voices in my life. i wish everyone did. i wish the need never existed. *huge hugs for Peredhil*
Zariah Posted October 30, 2003 Report Posted October 30, 2003 This reminds me of some of the poetry I write, when I am working through my own issues. It definitely brought chills up my spine. (That's a good thing) It reminded me of a beautiful voice singingand capturing the spirit of all who listen. The blue voice is what can help every person feel better about themselves. I even think I might have one somewhere, and it was very refreshing to remember that. Thank you so very much for sharing!
Parmenion Posted October 30, 2003 Report Posted October 30, 2003 A real touch of class Ayshela. SO REAL! Very well laid out and a pleasure to read.
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