Simple things

[Louveteau]

This is a first try, never had the intention to rhym, no intention to make it flow as well. Though I still got the feeling it's not finished yet and that it lacks something but I just can't seem to find the proper words so suggestions, remarks and all are welcome. Anything to make it better and understandable for everyone.

So sharpen your knives or swords and give me your comments and advices

 

 

It’s the simple things that make life difficult,

A badly timed word,

The greed of people everywhere,

The death of someone you love,

 

It’s the simple things that make life wonderful,

A smile from a nice girl,

The laughter of a happy child,

A drop of rain on a hot summer day,

 

It’s the simple things I can get angry about,

It’s the simple things I sometimes fear,

It’s the simple things that make me smile,

It’s the simple things I appreciate above all,

So simple but so complicated as well

[Ayshela]

i don't really find this lacking, though not knowing your purpose or goal for this, you would know better than i. if you wanted you *could* choose one of your ending lines and give examples for it as you have before, but..

 

i *like* this. enough examples that we see what you mean, and for the rest, we're left to think of examples for ourselves.

[Sorciere]

I really like this as it is, it has a flow all of it's own, it doesn't have to rhyme, it is still consistent in it's pattern, I don't feel anything needs changing, unless, as you said, you wish to expand on it, which could easily be done, Very good first post in my opinion!

[Gwaihir]

a simple unassuminig cheerful little piece. I like it.