Loki Wyrd Posted September 14, 2003 Report Posted September 14, 2003 (edited) I can not understand How is there room for sadness? In this world of ours Which is filled with so much beauty Splendid are the simple things Of which we take for granted And every living thing Is a thing of wonder I do not understand Why are we never satisfied? With what there is When there is so much more than we ever need We fight amongst ourselves With no real reason why And worry over nothing When nothing are our troubles I refuse to understand What is it we are doing? To ourselves To our world Twisted are our minds In which we see ourselves Twisted are our hearts For what we do to her Be honest...is this really as awful as I think? Edited September 14, 2003 by Loki Wyrd
Loki Wyrd Posted September 14, 2003 Author Report Posted September 14, 2003 I don't think I'm going to write anymore...or at least post...it's all crap. Next time I'm good and f'd up I'll probably get to writing though. I don't know. =(
Peredhil Posted September 14, 2003 Report Posted September 14, 2003 Hmmm, I'm going to break one of my cardinal rules and reply to this... Usually, no matter how much I like the piece (as I indeed liked this), I don't reply to it when it's self-labeled "crap" or along those lines: 1) It's too much like a negative plea for reassurance, "Oh no, really, it was wonderful, stroke stroke." I'd rather give my praise as a gift or well earned reward than feel as if I'd been extorted to reassure. You might think that you were being honest of your evaluation and not mean it this way, but still, I've found that not saying anything at all is preferable to slamming your own work. If you aren't fishing, then there is a tendency to accept your own value-added evaluation. 2) If you say it's "crap" and I say it isn't, then I'm forced to be Rude and disagree or argue with you. Or, alternately, if I say I like it, and you say it's "crap", then that implies my taste in literary works is so bad I can't tell the difference between dung and quality, which I take to be an insult. Prolly me in my pride, but there it is. I've notice that nearly every poster here at the Pen has a negatively skewed view of their own works. I do myself. But I've learned that the best way is to just put the work out on its own, accept feedback as a loving attempt to help build a better work, not as an attack on Self, and finally I've learned to just say, "Thank you", no matter how I felt about the work. It's the Polite thing to do, you see... -Peredhil, with more than two cents...
Loki Wyrd Posted September 14, 2003 Author Report Posted September 14, 2003 Sorry for making you break your rule. I just don't like it, it seems like something I could have written as a little kid, that's all. I probably shouldn't have posted it, because you are indeed correct in the points you have made. I'm still new to writing in a creative capacity, but maybe someday - if I continue to write - I'll be able to just accept what I have written and be happy with it. *shrugs*
Louveteau Posted September 14, 2003 Report Posted September 14, 2003 Loki, I like it. It's plain and simple but it gives people something to think about. And to me the content is more important then the way you it rhymes. And being criticall is a great thing, especially when it's about yourself. It'll keep both feet down onto the ground. But being to criticall isn't good, it's bad for your own confidence and it'll make it less easy for you to accept errors from yourself but from other people as well. And trust me, I know what I'm talking about And another thing is, you're much further into writing poems then I am
Loki Wyrd Posted September 14, 2003 Author Report Posted September 14, 2003 Only some of my poems rhyme, this is obviously not one of them.
reverie Posted September 15, 2003 Report Posted September 15, 2003 (edited) ...say ah... if your not to sure about your poems then post them in the critic corner... that way you can always have the excuse, "i'm still working on it..." Like, i finished my sandy poem way on back... but never liked it enough to post it in the B-Room... Don't worry about writing poorly... just write... sheer talent can't be faked, but even the talented have to pratice... otherwise your just a kid with a knack that never grew up...and that's all you'll ever be... So just write. Keep a journal if you can make the time. It helps 'cause it takes a lifetime of experience to create a master piece... that or a girl you really really want to impress. Barring that, you still need to practice... 1st Rule: observe. 2nd Rule: observe some more... 3rd Rule: put observations in head, turn dail to hot water, medium soil, permanet press. 4rd Rule: wait for buzzer, repeat do over. 5th Rule: forget the rules and just write... revery the dreamlost "yes we have no bananas(spike jones???)" the dream continues... Edited September 15, 2003 by reverie
Loki Wyrd Posted September 18, 2003 Author Report Posted September 18, 2003 What/where is the critic's corner? Maybe a member's only thing? I'm not a member, I'm afraid. I was right in my prediction that I would get good and f'd up, and write something else. It's good to know that I know myself.
X-Sabre Posted September 27, 2003 Report Posted September 27, 2003 Yeah Loki.. Hush about being crap and such. I've said it myself many of times, and been harshly corrected everytime. So I gave up arguing. Just accept that you have talent, and work on it. Don't screw around and let it die. Help it grow and expand to limitless possibilites. At least take the advice from just another kid with a knack.
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