Here within my mind

[Loki Wyrd]

My world is a small one

That has no use for me

It resides within my mind

As surely you can see

Here I have no purpose

Here I have no place

Just look me in the eyes

You can see it on my face

But I go on living

This idle life of mine

Things always pass me by

Only time is at my side

Here I am in darkness

Here I am in shame

Living life in loneliness

Having only myself to blame

I look off in the distance

Never looking back

I forget about the present

Always losing track

Here I am at home

Here within my mind

It is a harsh and cruel place

As I've come to find

I am the owner of all

Within this world of mine

So I must learn to live in peace

For eternity, until the end of time

[Loki Wyrd]

Sorry about cluttering up the place with my crap. I just like to make all my replies at once, when I have a lot of free time on the computer. This one is the only one that is new as of today.

I think I might actually sort of like this one. Parts I'm not satisfied with, but I'm never really satisfied with anything I write.

Edited September 13, 2003 by Loki Wyrd

[Appy]

Who are you, portraying my feelings like that?

 

In other words, I like this a lot.. would say more, but my clouded mind won't let the words come.

 

And i'm perfectly fine with the cluttering, I often forget that sometimes one has to read something twice to be able to appreciate it.. at least that's the case with me

[Loki Wyrd]

I was thinking about doing this:

 

However

I am the owner of all

Within this world of mine

So I must learn to live in peace

For eternity, until the end of time

 

So just adding the however line. I thought that the transition between those four lines and the previous four lines was a little abrupt, hurting the ending of the poem. My thinking was that that might help it transition a little smoother. It kind of changes the look of things, and maybe upsets order, but I'm not a big fan of order anyhow, especially not towards the end of a poem. :-D Thoughts?