Yui-chan Posted September 12, 2003 Report Posted September 12, 2003 Author's Dedication: Credit for this story most definitely goes to my good friend, Thinas, who inspired me with his enthusiasm for a certain popular paper RPG and his masterful GMing as we sat around a cooler of luke-warm Coke products in a dusty tent. Thanks again, spidsore, both for the hours of entertainment and for putting up with what my Muse did to your story. _________________________________________________________ The Embrace Ten minutes ago, I feared this man. I know I did. He had something to do with my nightmares, with the presence in the shadows that chilled my blood, with pain and oblivion. He brought with him all the things that terrified me. But now there is no fear, and a small part of me is left to wonder where it's gone. The rest is content simply to gaze across the table at him. He looks so friendly, so warm. I watch his eyes, and they pull at me, promising sanctuary within their midnight depths. I watch his lips, and they beckon me from behind the words slipping out from between them. I want to go to him. A part of me shrieks at that, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is this moment, this man - ("A stranger! An enemy!" the little voice screams.) - this warmth and contentment that wraps my mind in a comforting fog. All that I need to know is floating within his black eyes. There, I can see how kind he is, how trustworthy, how much he cares for me. Was there ever fear? No, of course not. There's nothing to fear. I am safe, so completely protected... He finishes his story with a smile that crinkles the skin at the corner of his eyes. The expression is so sweet, softening some of the sharp lines on his handsome face and filling the void within his eyes until they sparkle like a star-filled sky. He's so beautiful. I wish he would touch me. I wish I could touch him. The thought is a trigger, and in a blink the table between us is gone and his hand is on mine, soft and cool against my skin. The eyes that hold me are closer, big enough to lose myself in for all eternity, yet far too distant for the longing that fills me. His breath is soft against my cheek as he speaks. I can barely drag myself away from the sensation long enough to comprehend his words. He wants something from me. He needs it, a gift that I can give him in exchange for a gift that he can give me. I don't even listen to what that might be; I don't care. In this moment, I will gladly give him all that I have and more, but though a part of me wants to tell him that, I merely nod. It's the barest of motions, and yet I struggle against myself to do that much. That little part of me is screaming again... I know my assent is the answer he wants, and I expect a smile, anticipating another glimpse of heaven through his pleasure. Instead, there is a fleeting cloud that obscures the galaxy in his gaze. It turns me cold, and I moan softly at the loss of the bliss he gives me. This is wrong. There is something... something I must not ... The thought dies at the touch of his fingertips to my lips. They're soft and warm, bringing back all of the comfort and chasing away the doubts. There's nothing to fear. I am safe... He whispers something soothing as he leans in, letting those fingers slip gently across my cheek, and I can feel myself finally falling into the inky depths of his eyes. For a moment, I struggle to stay free of him, instinct and the little voice at the back of my mind conspiring to deny me the peace to be had there, but then his hands are on my shoulders and their cold strength has chased away all hints of resistance. I am his, and he wants this of me. He needs it. In return, he will save me and protect me from the demons that haunt me. I want that more than anything in the world. I need it... My eyes slip closed, but I can still see the infinite depths of his. The stars there flare when his soft lips caress the corner of my jaw. I can hear him whisper in my ear, but the words are slow to register through the haze of his presence. I tilt my head, offering the sensitive flesh of my neck to his kiss. "I will..." His breath is cold against my skin, his grip tight on my shoulders. "... give you..." His body is so near mine that I can feel the weight of him through the hair's breadth that separates us. I shake in anticipation. "... eternity." No. Oh, God, no! His power over me shatters in an instant, the peace crushed as the familiar nightmare crashes down on my mind. The chains are too strong, and I am too weak. Though I struggled once, now I can do no more than watch as blood streams from my slit wrists to flow along the channels on the altar. The fear is a knife in my gut, and I know the lie for what it is. I know my true feelings behind those he has forced on me, and I also know that my freedom has come too late as I feel the pressure of his pointed canines against my neck, the moment that the skin gives way as they cut through to the artery beneath. I stiffen, spasmodically gripping the black leather of his jacket, and his arms tighten around me, trapping my hands between our bodies. I want to fight his Embrace. I want to escape, but lethargy and pleasure floods my body, robbing me of my strength as he robs me of my blood. My blood. Running along the pattern in the stone, tracing the symbols of the spell that will blast my immortal soul to ash. Rushing through my body to meet his lips, feeding the hunger that will soon kill me. My blood. Empowering the silent, hooded figures who ring my marble deathbed. Warming the cold, dead body of the man holding me. My blood. Flowing away. Leaving me so very, very cold. I can feel myself going limp, feel the pressure of his arms as if from a thousand miles away. The empty darkness encroaches on my mind, and I am only too glad to let myself slide down toward it, let it smother the fear that chokes me. But Fate's claws are sunk deep into my soul, and as my heart stills in my breast, I am aware of the chilling certainty that this end is only a beginning, that the net I have fought to slip free from for a decade has just drawn tight. The reign of my nightmare awaits me on the other side of the Embrace, and as I slip into unconsciousness and death, I seek the only escape that I know from the torture I have foreseen: I pray to a God that has never loved me. I beg Him to let me never again open my eyes. All my heart is in the prayer, but I am answered by only silence and an oblivion that will prove to be all too short...
Wyvern Posted September 12, 2003 Report Posted September 12, 2003 I liked this story, Yui, and particularly thought that the unfolding of the narrator's inner conflict was well done. I found it intriguing how part of the narrator's attraction to the vampire rested in her notion that he would "save her" from the "demons" that "haunt" her, as when put in context these "demons" could be referring to her sense of right and her nightmares. In this sense, her falling under the vampire's spell could have almost been a willing decision, as rather than facing the awful truth of his nature she decided to submit to his will. One thing that could possibly be improved on in the story is the little voice that acts as the narrator's sense of right. While the notion of having this voice works for the most part, I think that when it actually speaks in the third paragraph of the story, it seems to come off as morbidly comic. You might simply want to refer to the voice speaking there rather than actually giving it a line of dialogue. Anyway, this was a thoroughly enjoyable read. Well done.
Peredhil Posted September 13, 2003 Report Posted September 13, 2003 powerful image. I'm too blown away at the moment to be critical. welcome *back*.
WrenWind Posted September 13, 2003 Report Posted September 13, 2003 Wow!! I was there trapped ,drawn, sinking into those eyes with your character. awsome piece
Yui-chan Posted September 15, 2003 Author Report Posted September 15, 2003 Thank you for the responses, everyone. I had a lot of fun with that piece (and am glad to get the darn imagery out of my head after about a week), so I'm very glad that you enjoyed it. Special thanks to you, Wyvern, for pointing that little flaw out to me. I completely agree with you that it's weak, and I could have found a better way to write it. I'll take it as a learning experience and beg your forgiveness for letting it sneak in there. Yours, ~Yui
Rhapsody Posted September 20, 2003 Report Posted September 20, 2003 As a vampire fanatic, I must say that is one of the best pieces I've read in a long time. It seems like it has another story behind it. When you spoke of the girl being on the altar, surrounded by hooded figures, it seemed like she was reliving a ritual sacrifice of some sort, something she or the vampire had blocked from her memory. I am simply amazed at your economy of words. You manage to convey the most important sensory images, without giving undue details of the setting, time, or vampire. Of course the first person point of view helps with that. Still, your language is simple and very readable but powerful all the same. I don't know if you read much vampire work, but this piece reminded me slightly of Anne Rice in the fleeting imagery and also of Amela Atwater-Rhodes in the simplicity of the words as well as the vampire's seduction of the girl.
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