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Posted

"On love conquering all"

 

painted sky, crimson moon

feels like death tonight

looking down, from the desolate hillside

the stranger sees her

the girl he used to know

he longs for her

to hear her voice

to touch her milky skin

a simple act to show he was not gone

but there it is again, the crystalline barrier between light and dark,

separating the two kindred souls

his choice was a necessity,

his only way out

or so he thought

she,

the girl he used to know

could have saved him if she'd known

the burdens resting upon his weary mind

same sky, identical moon

the girl,

the one he used to know

layed out upon her bed,

transfixed on the same transparent barrier

keeping her from him

the boy she used to know

aching from all the animosity

"she shouldn't miss him, she should be mad"

she became fixated on

faded letters and a tearstained photograph

the only memories she still had

mind made up, feeling no remorse

she prepares to break the glass...

to be with him once more

no goodbyes..she'd finally be with him

the boy she used to know

grabbing the bottle, she gulped it down

freedom from her earthly baggage

eternities later, hillside she arose

seeing only him

the boy she used to know

together now throughout eternity

perched upon their hillside ledge

both complete at last

they peered through the fractured "glass"

upon the life that they once knew....

Posted

I truthfully don't know what to say, and I'm not left speechless awesome.

 

Where to begin? That was one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. It captures that feeling better than I ever thought possible. So many people could relate to something like this. I actually cried, but that was more from recent events of my own that the poem reminded me of.

 

Formwise, it's a different story. It just seems, odd, but I kind of get the feeling it was meant too. It looks off at first glance, the way the lines are and whatever. It sounds really good when spoken out loud, though, and that's the true test of poetry.

 

Thanks for sharing, this was, once again, beautiful.

 

Nicely done.

Posted

I truthfully don't know what to say, and I'm not left speechless awesome.

 

Where to begin? That was one of the most beautiful things I've ever read. It captures that feeling better than I ever thought possible. So many people could relate to something like this. I actually cried, but that was more from recent events of my own that the poem reminded me of.

 

Formwise, it's a different story. It just seems, odd, but I kind of get the feeling it was meant too. It looks off at first glance, the way the lines are and whatever. It sounds really good when spoken out loud, though, and that's the true test of poetry.

 

Thanks for sharing, this was, once again, beautiful.

 

Nicely done.

I wrote it to be read out loud.....I'm not sure why it came out in that form but it sounded nice when spoken so I left it that way :fairy:
Posted

Yes, I can imagine this being read aloud. it seemed to me some parts of it rhymed, though I could never figure out a particular rhyme scheme.

 

Initally I thought it didn't flow very well, but as I read on, it got better.

 

Your style seems a juxtaposition of lyric and dramatic poetry. It's very free-form and evocative. The imagery is ingenious.

 

I sense a new talent here. Welcome to the Pen, Marishka.

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