Loki Wyrd Posted September 11, 2003 Report Posted September 11, 2003 There's nothing in this world I could not do Yet here I am, alone, waiting for you But I'm not feeling lonely by myself For you are always with me in my heart And that way I hope it shall forever be My love for you and yours only for me There's nothing in this world I could not do Yet here I am, alone, waiting for you But we shall be together very soon For time can not hold back my love for you And when we meet it shall forever be Happiness for you and for me There's nothing in this world I could not do Yet here I am, alone, waiting for you And I would not have it any other way No, I would not have it any other way It is probably hard to follow the flow of this, and it is not any good, I'm sure. But what could one expect from one as inept of emotions as myself?
Peredhil Posted September 11, 2003 Report Posted September 11, 2003 I kinda like this, and really didn't have a problem with the flow or the subject as expressed. Keep writing 'em - I'll keep reading 'em!
Tralla Posted September 11, 2003 Report Posted September 11, 2003 Often it takes the most courage to post something you yourself feel is "no good". How lovely is it to discover that other people really think it's fab? =) I agree with Pere, I think it flows quite well. It reads almost like a song. A couple slightly awkward spots, but with practice and tweaking those are easily smoothed. Good job! =)
Loki Wyrd Posted September 13, 2003 Author Report Posted September 13, 2003 It reads as a song, because that was how it was intended. I know how to sing it in a manner that it flows quite well, I just wasn't sure if it would read well.
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