Sweetcherrie

hmmmaybe, this needs some clarification... It's like a chain letter... I've given dares to three people. Each of those people (if they join in) will give a dare to two people (6 now) and then each of those six people will give a dare to one other person. That way the dare can keep going around the Pen

Yay Welcome aboard, and yes...lets have some fun with this one

I edited some small things in my first post simply because they made more sense this way. Also Appy asked me howcome the scroll wasn't drenched yet....basicly there are a number of spells on it, but Maiara can't make them all out yet, one of them keeps it dry in the rain though

Welcome to the Pen Kirja Hope to see more of your writing around *fashionably late*

Nice work hun and agreed with Peredhil...you're getting better with each poem you write

I see you Than to the writing...nice, emotions well conveyed, and in a rather short piece you manage to grab the attention of the reader and hold it till the end Thank you for sharing this *wishes your creativity all the best and smuggles it some sugar*

Still I can say lots of things here, fact remains that I really like this poem, already the way it is now

Sensual, but an image nicely captured The last two lines feel sort of forced, but I really like the rest of the poem...especially the sarcastic *chuckles* Thanks for sharing Parm

This is a free form RP. There are no rules to your character, and so you can be anyone you want, within the setting of course. (So don’t try to be an alien, because that sorta wouldn’t fit the setting….) Also, anybody that wants to join is welcome to join….even more so…please join! Character description for Maiara is in the Piazza, if you can’t see that forum, let me know and I will make sure you get a copy Also a few simple rules: -No godmoding -No killing other people’s chars -If you have to interact with someone else’s char, make sure this is alright with the other person -Try to keep your grammar straight, after all we’re trying to create a magnificent story here -All OOC posts go into this thread, that means absolutely no OOC in the actual gamethread, it disrupts the flow I guess that covers it….for now ;p Oh, any questions…my PM box is always open, and you can of course also post them here

The wind was cold and Maiara wondered what the skies would bring this night. She looked up and tried to decipher what was happening in the clouds that fled through the heavens. They definitely looked like storm clouds, and she decided to make sure all her belongings were put away safely in her tipi. Just when she put the last hides she’d been working on away the storm broke lose. Rain poured down on the fields, and she was glad that her gift had saved her from getting everything wet. Maiara folded back the flaps of her tent slightly and looked at the other people from her village. They were running and cursing while all got drenched till the last thread. For a moment the thought of helping them crossed her mind, but immediately after she decided not to; after all they had never been there for her either. Two minutes later the sky was torn apart and a lightning bolt had cut through the sky. It had hit the ground in the middle of the herd, and the animals were crying out with fear. Maiara sent a comforting thought to the animals, and felt how they relaxed. CRACK! Another lightning had bolted down. This time the target had been less fortunate. The holy tree of the tribe was set ablaze, and without thinking she ran out of her tent. She wouldn’t be able to do much, but what she could do, she had to. When she arrived at the tree only a black trunk was left. The lightning had hit with such force that nothing would’ve been able to stop it. Maiara sank down on her knees. How would they manage without the ‘Tree of Prosperity’? Their camp would not live to see the next few weeks! She placed her hands on the trunk and stroked lovingly over what was left of it. The rain had now soaked her till the bone, but she no longer cared. Maiara tried to blink away her tears, and tried to catch a mental image of the tree how it had been in spring before her eyes, but all she saw were the coal-black leftovers. Then she blinked. Was there something shining inside the trunk? With shaking hands she reached out and took the golden ball out of its safe home. It must have been there ever since the tree had been planted. With her sleeve she rubber the ball clean, and heard a click. Obviously her sleeve had gotten caught behind some mechanism, and now the ball folded open in half. Inside it there was an ancient scroll. The scroll glanced with spellcraft, and she carefully put the ball next to her, glancing around if nobody could see her. She then opened the scroll, and started reading.

Goodie *bounce* a new game *bouncebounce* and it’s one that you’re all playing in….weather you want it or not….mwuahahaha *cough splutter choke* I will send out three dares through PM. The people that receive those dares will get instructions through this PM....the rest you will find on the boards..... There’s nothing to win, and nothing to lose….well there is something to win…some activity on the boards oh and some fun of course

I found this on a different forum: I think I'm mainly a swooper... However, this was the next bit: (It's about rewriting after your first draft) I look forward normally to rewriting, and I don't always share first drafts. Hmm...now I think about it, I do share first drafts, but it depends on how dear a story is to me. Sometimes I don't post until I have at least gone over the story or poem ten times to make sure it all makes sense (and still it has mistakes of course), and sometimes it's just needed to get it out and post it. Oh well, in the end I was simply wondering how you write

thought provoking, nice

Ah, but it is poetry The single words really accentuate the feeling you drive across in the lines that go with it, but I do somehow feel that the build up could be stronger, more organized. A couple of words that you've used at the beginning feel a lot more powerful than some of the ones you've used at the end. I realize that this is a poem that comes from the heart and that it's hard to change those, but I think with a little more structure this could be even better than it already is Thank you for sharing this

First of all I'd like to say that I think this is pretty good, it sparkled my imagination But (there's always a but ) I really liked the first two stanzas where you write from the point of view of the observer and then in the third stanza you change towards a viewpoint of yourself. You ride that beast, and you basicly steer it. I would keep it in the observer mode, or write it all from your own view. The third stanza could for example be: Clawing up the slope Lunging into the air as she's crested Cutting hard to the left as she lands (or: as gravity draws her back, or something like it) Pausing to catch her breath. Also the last stanza kind of killed the poem to me. I think a strong poem is where the reader can take that what speaks to his imagonation and create his own images. The images created in the first two stanza's are really nice, but by giving too much clarity in the fourth stanza it kinda broke the spell for me. Again though, really nice, and you already said you would go back and reword probably, and I'm looking forward to that

hmm....we've never met too much (I did hear quite a bit about you, seems you're half-famous around here ) I guess I just wanted to congratulate you

I think with christmas and all we should probably extend this one a bit.... Plus that there are only 2 stories up so far. So I think if we say by the 15th of january that should do nicely

I've read both, and both of them make me think, and I like it when a poem forces me into thinking. Unfortunately I haven't got the peace in my head at the moment to really sit down and look at this the way it should be looked at, and they deserve to be looked at more seriously than I can offer at the very moment. Just wanted to let you know that I've read and liked

Indecisive She knew that she would have to choose some time soon, but it was impossible. There was always something that someone said that made her change her mind. Sitting back in the couch her mind was in turmoil. She wanted to split herself up, and become two…it was so schizophrenic at times. Why was life made up of choices anyway? It would be so much easier if she would just be guided along, choices sucked. Tonight she would have to know what to tell them, and this morning alone she had already changed her mind about a hundred times. She even had friends in both camps. Oh, why on earth had she ever taken the job as president? She’d always had a hard time making up her mind about things. Then again, it was fun to do the voluntary work. See? Even with that she had double feelings. With a yawn she put her head down on the pillow, maybe if she slept for a bit the decision would fall into her dreams or something. Slowly she drifted off. beep….Beep…BEEP! She slammed her alarm clock out, and then looked to see if it was not in a thousand pieces. As she looked she also saw the time. She would be way late for the meeting! Running to her clothes cupboard she tried to decide whether she would wear formal or informal and finally ended up with a weird mixture. When she walked out the house she though about walking there, it was nice weather after all, but cycling would be faster. Luckily that choice became easy once she saw that her bike had a flat tire. She ran to the centre, and went for the front door, but changed her mind and went in through the backdoor instead. She would simply ask for more time to get this decision taken, and hoped that people would accept that. After all she had asked for more time three times already. At the meeting table she saw that they had already started, and hesitated between sitting at the head of the table or take a different chair. Her problem was solved by someone standing up and playing gentleman by holding her chair for her. “So, what subject will be next?” Silence met her words. All started staring at their feet, and she looked around the circle. Then one looked up. “Actually, decision has been reached; you’re no longer our president.” Next word: Fear

A really nice piece Patrick It gave me a shiver...and again it's such a real thing. Years ago I went on holiday to Croatia with my parents. The war there was running at its end, and the people in the cabin next to us were Croatian people. Their daughter and I became friends, and I still remember clearly the conversation we had about the war one day. The line that touched me most was something she had said to her mother. "But mama, don't you know we won't get a war?" I've always thought that, and guess that I will keep thinking that until the day of war is there....may it never come. One thing though...you mention in the first paragraph that she was playing with 'boys', and later her friends are wearing greu 'dresses'. Not sure, but I don't think boys wear dresses, not even during the war Edit: Ah, I see you already changed dresses to clothes while I was writing the reply

Sweet bounces in, a large package under her arms, singing loudly something that resembles “La, la, la, la, la, la, sing a happy song, La, la, la, la, la, la, Smurf the whole day long “. She then stops and turns around to speak to an imaginary friend. “Are we there yet?” And replying in a different tone of voice she replies to her own question. “No, not yet.” Happily the little girl bounces on, and stops in front of Finnius and Wyvern. She pats the almost dragon on his head and assures him that she still has some Almost Dragonic tissues somewhere (guaranteed holes when you blow), and then hands the big box to Finnius. “Happy birthday!”

*bump* The end of the month is getting nearer.... just wanted to let you know

Thanks rev...shows how badly I should continue on trying to understand poetry forms and learn more about them...

(my internet has been less than optimal lately, BUT......my DL limit is gone, so I will be able to post everything myself again thanks Morgane, and thanks to all that posted here )

*giggle* hard to imagine there are actually people that speak like that all the time....they must surely get tired of themselves Nice one