Tanuchan

deja-vu

brightness

hammer

Niko hugs Sav, showing him a nice shiny rose glittering with some powdery stuff she has got from her sister's pocket. "Hey Save... for you... isn't it beautiful?" ~~~ OOC: yeah, there was a witch... that I had completely forgotten about also

o.O That was... funny! Thanks for using the witch, Sweet - not really because I was a wolf, but because it showed how it can twist the game and thus make it more interesting . I'm not really sure if I have the time for WW for the next month or so - but we had a next mod... Katz, I think. Or, if she cannot, the next one - I think it was either Patrick or Mynx. Are you willing to set your game up? *hugs everybody involved and is glad to not have had to Dip her sister Chicko *

Is this still alive?

coins

I don't really have much to say - but I wanted you to know that I really liked this one. It flows well, and brings up the scene/mood easily. I like also the use of the inner dialogue and the way it adds to the whole feeling of the poem. The last stanza made me smile, maybe quite ruefully, for I know the feeling very well... Thank you for sharing, Mardrax - and welcome to The Pen .

strings

Rabbit's stew... ... Samwise Gamgee...

If I were just swamped I'd be happy . Sorry for the not-reliable posting, I'll try to correct that... hopefully...

Niko yapped when someone just jumped into her, and automatically turned into a thorny bush, with two ringed eyes looking out from between the thorns. Sav squeaked loud, promptly letting go of Niko and getting distracted by the thorn that had pricked his paw. The squirrel touched it gingerly, and started prodding it in all manners. Niko giggled softly, ticklish. Ack... this might not have been a good idea... Looking at her sister, she turned slowly into a wooden arrow pointing at her. Sav looked puzzled at the thorn-turned-arrow, and followed where it pointed to - seeing Chiko. A voice whispered in his ear, "See that tanuki... what does she have hidden in her tail? Wasn't there something shiny in there some hours ago?" There was nothing that Sav could see, but at the word "shiny" he immediately leapt and grabbed Chiko's tail. Niko didn't wait to turn back into her proper shape, and then heard Lupus muttering something about Alex the Brother being the one using Dip. She looked at the Brother, then at the Sister, and shrugged. Isn't the Sister always taking the blame for what her Brother does? What if this time she's being sure that he gets some of his share? She puzzled over her thought, pondering with all the attention she could - which didn't last much since Chiko was shrieking a half minute later, with Sav pulling her tail. She looked at her sister and fell on the ground, giggling helplessly. ~~~~ OOC: a vote for Alex the Sister, Alaeha.

Niko approached the puddle of paint carefully, head tilted and frowning. Who could have done this...? Her tail twitched and she carefully dipped it in a safe puddle of green paint, then mixed it with a yellow one. After being sure that she had the right color, she walked to her sister and hugged her. "Aww... Chiko, what do you think it is happening here?" While hugging her sister, who had finally got rid of the blinking lights except for maybe on firefly hiding between the hairs of her tail, Niko painted a small sign at Chiko's shoulder. It read The tanuki sisters talked silently for a few minutes, then Niko left to talk to Sav. "Hey, Sav... have you found out what a traitor is yet?" As he shook his head with a sigh, Niko said, "I've heard that there are those who can answer any question... you just have to hold them and tickle at the right mark in their shoulder. The one that looks like three yellowish-green question marks in a row..." Saying that, she turned Sav so that he faced Chiko's back... and saw clearly the sign she had painted on her sister's shoulder. Edit: typo

empathy

Vene: maybe you were distracted by something and forgot about gravity? ("Flying Lesson")

Yeah, looks good... 1 or 2 for me, mainly. Even a... 2.5 .

Three hours, yep... at leat for me To be more exact - 3:15h

Try this... http://www.worldtimezone.com/time/wtzplanner.php?forma= Also, you have timezone maps in there...

(out of main topic ) Tzim, Not sure what you want/need... but I have all the core books for DnD 3.5 ed. If you want, PM me or poke me at IRC . (back to topic) I also like Appy's suggestion to reorganize the forum branching/visibility... just waiting to see what other suggestions/opinions might appear.

*thinks it interesting and very fun* This seems something I'd like to try some day - having a topic and working only on rhyming . Other than that, I agree with Sweet; it flows spontaneously and it's funny, and you knew when to stop so it didn't go stale. Thank you for bringing this to us, rev .

Appy, that's me too *hugs Appy* rev: I think people have different objectives when talking about improvement... maybe it's not exactly they don't want to, but *how* they want to or *what* they want to improve. I might not be interested in technical aspects, and dissecting my work is something I can do perfectly without (though I can understand the good intention behind that); however, as Appy, I am interested in the feelings my poems elicit - so knowing that "this doesn't seem to fit well in the general mood" is a good and useful feedback for me, whether it comes with some suggestion or not.

Also food for thought: does *everyone* who posts here have as an objective become a (better) writer, or develop the same skills? Aren't there people who post for the pleasure of sharing, and *not* to have their work analysed and "improved" as in a writing class? This is what I thought the Critic's Corner and the Writing Workshop were for; to post specifically for technical feedback and development.

blergh Huh... okay... not really a word, that one... so let's try... event (really, consider this one )

I want just to point out one thing here - that there are ways for you to give exactly the *same* feedback with the same wording in the feedback part, but keeping it framed in a positive way so that you don't offend people who are more sensitive. Maybe the fact that I'm a teacher has taught me to do it instinctively... but for example, see how Wyvern gives his feedback. He always points out the good and the bad, without being patronizing or condescending. I don't want to elaborate more on this here, since one of those feedbacks you mentioned involved me, I believe . Feel free to PM me *carefully steps back into lurking* Edit: typo

In the still very soft light of dawn, Niko saw some flickering lights not far from them, half-hidden in the bushes around the clearing where they had sleept. Quickly she slipped behind the bushes, and came back some minutes later with three or four blinking lights in her paws, smiling in wonder. Then, with bright eyes, she came silently to her sister's back and transformed into a rounded rock - one with two tanuki ears on its top plus the paws. Chiko's tail tickled her nose, and she resisted an urge to sneeze. With a soft giggle, she carefully glued the fireflies she had in her hands to the tip of her sister's tail. Chiko stepped away suddenly, and Niko let go of the tail in a hurry. Then she saw Sav bouncing near her, and the squirrel ended up sitting on her, examining the ears poking from the rock. "Sav... Sav, look! Are tails supposed to blink with light?" Sav immediately forgot the ears to follow the blinking tail. Giggling softly, Niko transformed back into a curled tanuki - one that hid her mischievous look behind her tail. And then she stopped to think what could have happened to Choc, anyway - maybe he had transformed into a bat and flown away during the night? She looked at the puddle of paint Bugs had found, and let her tail dip into it. It came back bright with color, and she immediately smiled and looked for someone into which use her tail as a brush.