Snypiuer

Thanks. I'm glad the subtle nuances of the juxtaposed. . . .who am I kidding? Still blocked and PRETENDING to know what I'm talking about isn't helping (By the way, Snypiuer has always been amazed at how many here are knowledgeable about writing structure and style. I have no idea about either. Basically, Snypiuer like write - same problem with music, was a band geek and played trombone for 7 years without ever learning how to actually read music. I knew what the little pictures on the music sheet was supposed to sound like but if told to play or write a certain note, I couldn't to save my life. Anyways.) Whenever I try to access what little gray matter I have left, it seems some CEO of Snypiuer LLC. has decided that outsourcing the call center would save the company enough money so that he can afford an island somewhere. So, with NO regard to the fact that NO ONE in the fourth world nation he chose speaks English, this is what I go through: Operator: (In broken English - obviously read from a phonetically written script) Hi. Thank you wel come call Snie-pee-your may halp you? Me: Huh?! Operator: May halp you? Me: What the?! Ahh, I've been waiting several weeks for my muse to get back to me and was wondering if you can give me an update as to when I may expect her return? Operator: Moose? You need halp write? Me: Whaaa...? Yes. My muse! Been waiting for weeks. Where is she? Operator: You moose, write gud now? Me: (Believing, for some unknown reason, that talking LOUDER and sloowweerrr, along with elaborate hand gestures would help) I...AM...CALLINGGG...TO...FIND...OOUT... WHENNN...MY...MUUSE...WILL...RETURNNN!!! Operator: (Also speaking LOUDER and sloowweerrr and, no doubt, also using elaborate hand gestures) YOUU...MOOOSSSE...WRRIITE...GUUD...NOW?! Me: (Nothing but the sound of my head loudly and repeatedly banging against desk) THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! (Followed by) ARRGGGHHHH!!!!! Operator: Thank you call, gud bye! Meanwhile, on some tropical island beach, a CEO lounges on virgin white sands and takes in the majestic ocean views as petite (yet voluptuous) native beauties slowly fan him with palm leaves and feed him grapes and strawberries while he drinks a frosty tropical drink and softly chuckles to himself as he mutters, "What an idiot!"

Still have writers block, so I forced myself to sit and write ANYTHING! This is what I got. Not good, or very original, but hoping it will trip something in my tiny little think center. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sometimes, I wonder why: Birds can sing, But dogs can't fly. And why does day follow night? Then along comes, The recurring theme In which I'm more alive, Within my dreams. And still, Day follows night. So I sit And contemplate, Deep dark thoughts And dreadful fate. While I count the days That follow night. And wonder: If my dog could fly, Would he be content To stay the friend He is to me?

Wyvern, I just read your latest movie review and was compelled. . . NAY! Compelled is NOT a strong enough term! There was NEVER even the smallest of options NOT to write this: It takes a brave and courageous individual to live in Berkley, CA. and PUBLICLY (in a computer message that can be traced back to you no less!) admit that you do NOT worship at the alter of all that is Micheal Moore. I commend you dear friend. Take care. . . take care!

Thanks for the info. I feel giddy with anticipation! Also, have you seen the youtube clip of the fan-made trailer for a Marvel Zombies movie? It's got Spidey, Hulk and Capt. America and is pretty good.

Saw your Marvel Zombies quote (so I figure you read the series), I haven't been able to read them (I REALLY want to), but wouldn't Deadpool, Wolverine and even the Hulk be immune due to their healing factor? Just askin'.

Snypiuer once had a frowning pancake and even a dour tortilla, once. But never a smiling ego. . . .HEY!!! LET GO MY EGO!!! *I liked it.*

Dear Pen Diary, Well, still have writers block and can't find a solution so I can finish what I'm working on. Or start something else. You'd think being gagged and tied-up in the attic for about a week would give me time to become unblocked, but I might as well have mentally eaten a 10lb. cheese and Immodium sandwich for all the good it did me. Anyways, figure my muse will show up drunk and half dressed - eventually (once the Reality Dust Bunnies are done with her). 'Till then, I got two 20lb. bags of rice for the innards of the doll I'm going to make for the next One-Man Hide-and-Seek game. I'm thinking the bigger and more arms the better! Will update later.

GOOD NEWS! I've managed to escape and I am O.K. (dehydrated, but O.K.)! After lapsing in and out of consciousness for a few days, I found myself gagged and tied-up in my attic. Now, when one finds oneself gagged and tied-up in one's attic (after a brief moment of panic and struggling), one finds that they have a grand opportune time to contemplate their actions as a whole. It actually becomes quite calm and tranquil. One might call it (I dare say) therapeutic even. During my time of self-evaluation, I have come up with a rather astute and comprehensive list of 'missteps' I MAY have been considered to have taken. This list consist wholly of one item - a verbal mis-cue within my second attempt at this 'ritual'. O.K., their are some who would point out that I have a habit of dabbling in 'things' I shouldn't and that this in turn leads to many adverse conditions - such as the ghost story I wrote about in a previous post and (of course) my most recent predicament. They would also point out that doing such 'things' in a house already haunted might be considered 'unwise'. Not only did my Grandfather build this house himself in the early 1900's, he also died in it. The rumor that there is money buried some where and the fact that an Aunt was still-born and buried on the property (small West Texas town, it was legal back then) only adds to it since the location of both are now unknown. Needless to say, there has been more then any houses' fair share of unusual goings on within (and surrounding) its' walls - so much so, that when an individual ACTUALLY came through my window in the early A.M. one night, I wasn't even startled. I simply informed him that he was about to die and it would be to his benefit to leave, which he did after a cigarette - he was stoned out of his mind, said he had made a mistake (wrong house) and couldn't get it together enough to even fall back out the window. I calmed him down with a cig, then reminded him with a rather large survival knife that he was, indeed, in the wrong house and about to die for his inaccuracy (truth be told, had I had a gun, I would have simply shot him - a knife takes too much energy, so he was lucky on that count). But I digress. Others may list the fact that I used blood to make red thread (I only had white thread and I'm very resourceful) as a misstep on my part. Then there are those who would say that my TOTAL lack and disregard for safety and the ACTUAL rules of the ritual MIGHT have had some little bearing on the situation I have recently found myself in. I reject these claims in their entirety. No, I blame gas. At the time of naming the second doll, I was gaseous. Instead of naming him 'Graunt, Korvak Slayer', it came out as 'Graunt Korvak (gaseous pause), Slayer' thereby leading it to believe (in my opinion) that he was related in some way to Korvak and his TITLE was 'Slayer'. All in all, not his fault really. Well, after almost a week, I was able to escape and now have a different concern - all my Cheese Nips, dill pickles and Yoohoos are missing. Rather disconcerting. That being said, I have come to the conclusion that using cheap 4 inch Beanie Baby knock-offs from those 25 cent crane machines (Korvak being a Panda Bear and Graunt a Zebra) was foolish. I'm thinking I need something much bigger - with actual hands. Will let you know when I find a suitable subject. I am PSYCHED! I have a better feeling about this then I had about my previous attempts! It just feels. . . right. Toodles!

O.K., sooooooo, (I'm guessing) naming it Korvak, Drinker of Souls wasn't a very joyfull decision either? All righty then. No prob. Tonight I'll make "Graunt, Korvak Slayer" and see what happens. I got a good feeling about this! Toodles!

Reads poster and begins to ruffle through a large stack of recipes that materializes in front of him, muttering "No. No. Not that one. Mayyybee. . .no. Aha! No. No." Continues muttering as he searches through stack as he, and it, slowly drift down the hall. OOC: Interseting, will see if I can come up with something before commiting though.

Dear Pen Diary, Found you adding stability to a wobbily table, sorry about that. Been a while. Have not been able to finish story I'm working on and no insperation for anything else. Do have one idea for an alternate story on Signe, but stuck on that one also. Must be the Reality Dust Bunnies, again. Well, need to find a missing possessed doll (thinking he's joined the dust bunnies in some nefarious plot against me). Maybe I'll get some insperation when I find him. Write to you later.

Nothing to worry about, really, but what do you do if you can't find the doll? Also, was it unwise to: 1. Name it "Korvak, Drinker of Souls" and 2. Decide to just go to sleep and look for it later? Just asking.

O.K., you guys are rich bachelors. Try this: 1. Save enough money for a loaf of bread (day old or .59 cent store brand works). 2. Buy said loaf. 3. Go to local 7-11 and pocket: A. Handful of salt packets B. Handful of pepper packets C. Handful of ketchup packets D. Handful of mustard packets Mix ingredients A through D and spread on slices of bread. Toast in oven. Enjoy. For a while, Ramen was a luxury for Snypiuer (A pack of ramen feeds you for a day, a loaf of toasted bread w/ketchup-mustard mix feeds you for a week). One that's a little better: !. Bag large shell macaroni 2. Large can tomato sauce 3. Grated cheese (I prefer Colby-Jack) 4. Seasonings: Salt, Pepper, Cumin, Italian seasoning mix Boil shells to desired firmness (I boil for about 12 min.) Drain. Mix in Sauce and cheese (or sprinkle cheese on top when serving - your choice). Add seasoning to taste. I also add a little lemon juice and garlic (But that's me). If you have the money, cook up some ground beef and add to mix. If any left, mix in a little olive oil and bake the leftovers the next day.

You're killing me, simply killing me. I know there's no such thing as an original idea. . . but this?! I haven't finished what I'm working on now, let alone started on one of these, and its already been done! Feeling very inferior at this point in time!

Isn't she though!?!? I want to pick her up and carry her around!!!

Well, as they say, "There's no such thing as an original idea." That's O.K. Glad to see there are those who like the idea and see a couple I want to try when I'm finished with my current project (stuck on a key point). I was thinking of a Wyvern who is greedy because he can 'sense' value. Taste, feel, smell, etc. how much an item is actually worth (the more valuable, the more succulent the taste, sweeter the smell, sensual the feel, etc.) when he first comes into contact with any given item and will retain the knowledge, but the sensation fades - and he is addicted to that sense, with all that entails (DT's, doing what ever it takes to get a 'fix', etc.). OR, a 1920's Signe Pin-up girl/uber-spy dilly OR *oohhhhh!!!!* a NUN!!!!!. Also kinda liked Hjolnai's Alten character (not sure if I'd write him much different though). I'm also kind of in the same situation as him, need to read up on everyone to get a better feel - then again, it might be a good thing to not have that good a grasp on a character so as not to be TOO swayed to keep to the characters' true self. Just thoughts right now. Can't wait to see what stories others come up with!

I'm working on something right now and am using (with permission) other peoples characters. I'm trying my best to keep to the canon of their character, but I have been known to God-mode others and that brought to mind an idea: How do others see our characters? How would someone else write them? SO, I propose a thread where one can write a short little story using others characters (with permission, of course) to show how that character would be if seen 'Through the eyes of another'. NONE of the stories would be considered official (they would essentially exist in an alternate Universe), but the owner of the character could use what is written if they like. Once again, ONLY those characters that their owners CHOOSE to let be used would be fair game. Once I'm done with what I'm working on now, there are a few characters I'd like to get hold of! If anyone wants to, just let it be known.

I hope you enjoy her as much as I do. Let me know!

Snypiuer has been lovin' himself some Kate Micucci. O.K., Snypiuer has a soft spot for ukulele music (Who doesn't love a 6'3"/459 lb. Polynesian mountain of a human being strumming a tiny 4 stringed instrument and singing "Over the Rainbow" to an island rhythm in a high pitched tenor?), that's how I got turned on to Kate. I saw her sing and play the ukulele on Scrubs - where she portrayed Ted's girlfriend, Stephanie "The Gooch" Gooch. Not only does she have some great ukulele and comedic/novelty songs (solo and with Riki Lindhome as the group "Garfunkel and Oates"), but she also has some really good SONGS. Her "Walking in Los Angeles" is a throw back to the days of "King of the Road" (IMO-of course) and her "Just Say When" is touching and just plain good. Pile on the fact that I find her singing voice to be amazing and you don't even have to mention that she is one of the cutest, most adorable women I've ever seen - with big eyes and a smile that transforms her face from cute to rather pretty. I don't know how hard it is for her to come up with her songs, but whether it's a long drawn out process or off the top of her head, she has the kind of talent I wish I had. I'm just sayin'.

They say everyone has a 'talent', something that makes them special - for the life of the individual behind 'Snypiuer', he can't find his. If it was up to you and your talent to save the world, what would that talent be and how would it save the world? "The world will end without you, how can you save it?"

O.K., it's obvious my first attempt to HOST an RP (28 Weeks Later) has failed. Being the optimistic pessimist that I am, I am not surprised BUT, hope to learn from it. I can personally see several things I did wrong. Still, I would like input from others so that I may learn from it. Give advice. Be critical. Be harsh. Be mean. Just don't call me Shirley. Thanks for ANY input.

The red leisure suit clad penguin drops like a Brazilian soccer star from the slight prod in back from Rydia and begins flopping and writhing in IMMENSE (feigned?!) pain. His lime green and powdered blue clad cohorts drop their sign and join him. The polar bear looks up and sees what is going on, reaches behind itself and pulls forth (carefully noting this interruption in its' lunch break): 1 walrus dressed in a running suit with LOTS of gold chains 2 otters dressed in business suits with bow ties The polar bear continues its' lunch break while the walrus runs to the aid of the penguins - all of whom are now wearing neck braces and various casts. The walrus begins orating on the plight of the penguins and (by extension) ALL Arctic animals. How they are downtrodden and treated harshly by individuals such as Wyvern - Rydia being nothing more then an unwitting pawn in Wyvern's schemes. The otters then serve Wyvern with cease and desist orders and papers naming him as defendant in a multi-billion geld civil law suit. Rydia is served with summons to appear in said civil law suit as a witness for the plaintiff.

Fear is no. Confidence is YES! Fear is ARGHH!! Confidence is A-HA! Fear is being cheesy. Confidence is being CHEESY!

OOC: For all you young whippersnapper's, Ed Sullivan was a famous guy. . . .really. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A salamander steps up to the microphone. He's short and wears a dinner jacket with wide, square shoulders. With pursed lips he says, "Good evening Lady's, gentlemen and individuals of indeterminate gender and/or repute. My name is Ed Salamander and we have a really good shoe for you tonight, a really good shoe. We will be having an open mic, so we're inviting anybody who wants to, to step up and sing, do some jokes, one act play, what ever they feel like. We were expecting one Topo Gigo, T-o-p-o Gi-go, is NOT here, so, our first performers will be a group of 4 young singers -The SSS!" Snypiuer and his 3 squirrel companions step on stage. Sylv on drums, Pith on lead/rhythm lute, Mr. Moog on base lute and Snypiuer on lead vocals (a cluster of boos arise from the audience when this is noticed) and rhythm lute. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~~~ OOC: The song is sung to Rick Springfield's 'Jessie's Girl' and (I must say) something that seems to has to have been done before. I checked (O.K. not TOO hard - do you have ANY idea how much stuff comes up when you search for Wyvern and geld?) and found nothing. So, if this is plagiarism of sorts, please except my sincerest apologies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A squeal of feedback comes from the mic as Snypiuer speaks, "Good evening. We're The SSS and this is 'Wyvern's Geld'" (Mr. Moog starts in with the opening base line) Wyvern is a friend, Yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine But lately something's changed It ain't hard to define Wyvern's got himself some geld And I want to make it mine But he guards it with greedy eyes As he's holdin' it with his talons, I just know it! And he's stackin' and countin' it late, late at night You know I wish that I had Wyvern's geld I wish that I had Wyvern's geld Where can I find it, some money like that? I'll distract him with a parade That doesn't seem to take his gaze from his change You know it gets all dirty 'cause he hides it 'neath his suit I wanna take away all his geld but my @ss he'd probably shoot 'Cause he guards it with greedy eyes As he's holdin' it with his talons, I just know it! And he's stackin' and countin' it late, late at night You know I wish that I had Wyvern's geld I wish that I had Wyvern's geld Where can I find it, some money like that? Like Wyvern's geld I wish that I had Wyvern's geld Where can I find it, some money... Where can I find it, some money like that? And I'm lookin' for the most opportune time Wonderin' when he just won't see me I've been stealthy; I've been cool with trip lines Ain't that the way a thief's supposed to be? Tell me Why can't I find some money like that? You know I wish that I had Wyvern's geld I wish that I had Wyvern's geld I want Wyvern's geld Where can I find it, some money like that? Like Wyvern's geld I wish that I had Wyvern's geld I want, I want Wyvern's geld The SSS end the song and thank the crowd, "Thank you! You're great! We love you all! We'll be back later!" Ed comes back, "Wasn't that great? The SSS will be back later. Now T-o-p-o Gi. . . ." (looks off stage and whispers "Still not here?"") continues to crowd, "Our next performer is. . ."

A small alarm can be heard and the polar bear reaches behind itself and brings forth a small pocket watch. Looking at it and giving a small nod, the polar bear leans its' sign against the polling booth as it reaches back around and pulls these items from behind itself: 1 picnic blanket 1 picnic basket 3 penguins dressed in leisure suits: 1 Lime Green 1 Powder Blue 1 Red As the polar bear sets up its' picnic, the penguins in Powder Blue and Lime Green pick up the sign and (wobbly) begin to walk in circles with it. The one in Red begins handing out AAFGW cards. The polar bear removes a wine glass and bottle of red wine from the basket, along with a very large salad bowl (with a sticker on it that reads, "SALAD IS MURDER!") filled with. . . .a very big salad. The polar bear begins its' lunch break (unions, go figure).