Snypiuer

Snypiuer was in the Tavern and sat at the bar slamming shots of Ol' Peculiar, mumbling to himself about the economy and generally being someone EVERYONE avoided. He did not notice the sudden hush that came over the other patrons as a diminutive blue figure wearing Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, flip-flops, large straw hat and sunglasses (three lenses) walked in and sat next to him. He did notice the sudden rush and commotion of the mass exodus, but thought it was because everyone figured he'd be upset that some little guy up and started pouring himself some shots from the bottle WITHOUT so much as a "By your leave!" The little guy downed a shot and said, "D@mn economy!" and poured ANOTHER shot! Snypiuer, blurry eyed, had a BRIEF thought that he had seen this guy somewhere before, but the synapse in his brain that carried that particular thought was brutally attacked and viciously beaten to death by a random Ol' Peculiar molecule (crime is simply out of control these days!). Believing they had been drinking together all along, Snypiuer downed a shot and replied, "I KNOW!" Filling two shots, they clinked them together (cracking them) and shouted, "EFF THE ECONOMY!!!" and threw the glasses at the bartender who stood transfixed, staring at them. Snypiuer reached over the bar and grabbed two tumblers - and filled them! As the two sat there drinking, the little guy says from beneath his hat, "Getting so a Demigod can't even stay on extended vacation!" Snypiuer started to reply, "I know exactly whaaaa. . ." and took a GOOD look at his companion. Somewhere, DEEP and hidden from wandering Ol' Peculiar molecules, a lone synapse BRAVELY delivers the, "I know this guy!" thought to a VERY battered, yet partially functioning, processing center of his brain. The little figure stopped mid-drink, realizing Snypiuer was ACTUALLY coherent and looking at him. Softly, the words, "Oh crap!" came from beneath the large straw hat. Snypiuer slowly lifted the hat to get a REAL good look at his drinking buddy. The little guy gulped as Snypiuer looked down at him and a wide grin began to slowly spread across his face. He could only get out, "What'd I ever do to you!?" before Snypiuer scooped him up and duct taped him into a spherical form - eyes facing outward so that he may witness ALL that is to be seen when one is used as athletic equipment. Snypiuer was oblivious to the chaos and mayhem, outside in the streets of the Keep of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword, that had been building from the very moment the small blue individual entered the Tavern. Even with all the noise flooding the streets, Snypiuer could be CLEARLY heard throughout the land as he stood, small blue sphere with three blinking eyes held high above his head, as he shouted, "NIMBALL™!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Snypiuer was IMMEDIATELY body slammed with a sickening wet THUDD!!! that left him contorted in ways the most hardened warriors would have nightmares about for the rest of their lives, right up to the very moment they sliced their own throats with a rusty butter knife from the horror of having witnessed the state Snypiuer was left in and generations of children would grow up having debilitating, life-long psychological problems just from HEARING about it! The Nimball™ hovered for what seemed like an eternity, before falling to the ground. As it was kicked about the Tavern (as a multitude of individuals attempted to grab it for themselves) it let out muffled screams of terror and/or excruciating pain, until. . . ********************************************************************************************************************************** OOC: O.K., Yes, I God-moded Nim. That's my habit. I AM accosting, torturing and using him for my own amusement as it is. THAT'S NIMBALL™! If you have to ask the rules, an official can be contacted via an aphinstistcal narphnel.

Looks like our timing on the Roll Call may have been chosen without taking everything into consideration, such as Summer vacation - getting prepared for it, taking it, and other such stuff. Either that, or there is just NO one on the site - which is NOT the case 'cause I can SEE that there are constantly Guest looking at the site. Looks like people are just not signing in. Going to add a secondary Roll Call post, see if that helps! Sign in and post if you have the time!

O.K., Roll Call! I looked back at the other Roll Calls and saw that they were held over more then just one day (unlike what I had in mind!) and realized that that was more fair. SO, Roll Call begins today June 21, 2010 and will end midnight (CST USA) June 30, 2010. The idea behind it is to, not only, get people writing, but to find out how many members are AT LEAST checking in. As with the previous Roll Calls, those who do NOT participate will be given the dreaded 'WEENIE' title (YES, Dr. Evil! It's SUPPOSED to be dreaded and NOT lovingly embraced!) - which can be bought off with a simple future post. Those who participate, BUT have not posted for a while MAY be given titles, such as: Lurker or Drive-By Poster (May be, still working on that scenario). HOPEFULLY, this will give us the information we need to do a COMPLETE member update. While there is a main Roll Call post "A Stranger Comes A Calling" posted in the Conservatory Forum, ANY original topic posted in ANY forum (during the Roll Call time frame) will be considered participation in the Roll Call - PARTICIPATION is what matters. Secondary Roll Call projects may be added in the next couple of days for those who wish to participate, but are having trouble coming up with something original or to add to the main Roll Call post. Leave ANY questions here, keep giving us information as to what YOU want from the Pen and what will KEEP you ACTIVE - but most of all, HAVE FUN!!!

OOC: As with the former Roll Calls, each participant is to add a little to the story, expanding upon what others have written. Only rules are that no one can just end the story (kill everyone off - for example) or God-mode other members. The character is a blank slate. Until YOU tell his story, we have no idea who he is or why he is here. Most importantly, have fun! I'll post a few more rules in the Cabaret Forum. ******************************************************************************************************************************************* The inhabitants of the Keep of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword, fitfully slept through a dark and stormy night (filled with the clanging of bells and maniacal laughter above it all), to awake to a calm clear morning. Despite the beauty of the day, there was a sense of tension in the air. While Snypiuer had spent the entire night atop the highest spire in the Keep **(as mentioned in 'Dark Before the Dawn' posted in the News forum)** laughing at the storm and screaming "He comes upon the morrow!", he was no where to be seen or heard. As Pennites began their day and wondered to each other as to exactly what Snypiuer had meant, word came that, upon the horizon, a lone figure could be seen approaching the Keep. By the time the stranger arrived, a small crowd had gathered to witness his arrival. . .

Clouds fill the sky as the wind begins to blow stronger. Every Pennite within the Keep of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword can feel the anticipation building as little orange men with green hair and wearing white overalls stand upon every corner of every street of the Keep and ring bells. Above all this, the howling wind and clanging bells, every Pennite can still hear a maniacal laughter from high above. Upon the highest spire within the Keep stands a figure wearing a purple suit with a purple top hat. As everyone looks up at him, the tails of his unbuttoned purple coat flapping wildly in the wind, he looks down upon them. Even from this distance, the madness can be seen in his eyes. For a moment, a brief moment, there is complete and utter silence as he softly speaks (yet all can hear him), "He comes upon the morrow." Immediately, the wind and clanging begins anew with even greater fury - with a maniacal laughter above it all. ******************************************************************************** June 21st is tomorrow, will have the Roll Call post tonight at about midnight CST (USA).

Unsure whether he was befuddled and confused due to Tzimfemme's baffling (yet short) tirade on hot air jump tubes, her nakedness (always a distraction) or the extremely recent tumble he experienced, Snypiuer stumbled out of the building and went in search of his helmet - all the while thinking, "Maybe I can use Tzimfemme to get Degorram out of the office, just for a little while. I just hope she doesn't realize Degorram is filling in for Wyvern!" Snypiuer hurriedly heads in the direction of a distant vibrating noise.

Just wanted to congratulate Signe on her new bundle of joy! From 'Check-In Here' in the Cabaret Room: Can't WAIT 'till she's posting her work here (maybe those stories I promised will be done by then! - I AM still working on them.)! BABY SNUGGGGGLLLLLEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I couldn't decide on which one to use (littlest or smallest)! I ended up just flipping a coin. Thanks again for the input, I appreciate it!

This is WHY I like this site! Not only are the works so GOOD (like this one!), the people here KNOW about writing. Creativity AND knowledge, what else do you need?

This is good, keep 'em coming!

Just wanted to thank everyone that has checked-in and hope to see more. ALSO, nice to see Wyv! Hope you're having FUN! Keep us posted - when you can. As to the podcast idea, that was ALL Jason. He is working hard at it and just needs more input from others. People are trying to figure out a way to coordinate it better. Once THAT'S accomplished, there should be a bigger variety of people and topics, along with a more stable/consistent schedule. Just another reason we NEED to know who and what we have to work with! Once again, thanks everyone and THANKS JASON!!!!!!

This was inspired by a line from 'Book of Love' by the Magnetic Fields. Peter Gabriel does a VERY good cover of this song, but I would LOVE to her Cyndi Lauper cover it (Listen to her cover of 'At Last' and tell me she ISN'T frikin awesome) or a female with a heavy Irish brogue - more along the lines of the Cranberries rather then Sinead O'Connor. It has an awkward ending and I have a feeling it's too short, but don't see how I could smooth it out or add to it. *********************************************** We learned to dance We learned to sing When we were young So long ago Now time has passed And with it knowledge Of things we're still Too young to know When we were young Our hearts were open Too big to fill With everything But now they're small They're hard and frozen Yet can break from The littlest thing When we were young We began our story Its' beginning was So long ago And at the end We find our story Filled with things We're, still, too young to know

O.K., I REALLY want whatever the anorexic rat is smoking. This makes my brain hurt, but in a good way, like in a 'Safe Word' kinda way!

People have posted elsewhere to give an update and status report, for those of you that desire a more concrete place to post, you can post here. Just tell us how often you check-in as a guest and what you do when you are here, how often you log-in, WHY you log-in, why you DON'T log-in, why you may have cut-back or stopped coming to the site, what YOU want to see on the site that would increase YOUR interest in it, WHATEVER you may think will HELP us out. You can just post a list or make it a story, however you feel like doing it. Thanks for the help!

Members are already posting in a couple of forums and letting us know their status, for this we give our sincerest thanks. This is exactly what we were hoping for. Others are also expressing interest in the Roll Call (some have even been accosted on the very streets of the Pen itself and forced to present their papers and given a warning that they are being watched - EVERYONE is being watched!) Interest is growing - THINK I'LL MILK IT! (Worry not, it's coming and you WANT to be a part of it!) In OTHER News: We've been working on several things, one of them is a Mighty Pen Podcast. There is a Mighty Pen channel on You Tube (TheMightyPenPodcast) at: http://www.youtube.com/user/TheMightyPenPodcast And a first podcast at: - if you just CAN'T wait to see it! This is just a beginning and we are expecting to only get better at it! Keep contacting every member of the Pen you can and tell them to check-in. Also encourage people who are NOT members to give us a try! Oh yeah, AND POST!

There was a thunderous pounding sound that echoed throughout Snypiuers' dwelling. Alarmed by this, each of his three companions (Mr. Moog, Pith and Silvia - three rather large squirrels) reached out, ripped a hole in reality itself and stepped through to Snypiuers' chamber - at least that is what they had intended. They were stunned to instead find themselves outside his chamber doors. They immediately realized why they were unable to enter when they saw what exactly was the source of the thunderous pounding. There, along the ground in front of the door, was a giant crack in the floor that was filled with ebony flames and tentacles that reached out from deep within it. These tentacles were covered with ears and eyes and flailed wildly at the doors as they attempted to either break them down or rip them open. All three of them drew power deep within themselves and wove defenses around themselves as they prepared to face the beast. As one, they spoke, "Shadow thief." The tentacles began to pull themselves up and as they rose out of the crack, they transformed into the figure of a man. The most unsettling thing about the man was how completely ordinary he was. In fact, he was so ordinary, he seemed to just 'blend' into everything around him. Had anyone else been in the room, they would have immediately wondered what had been causing all the commotion because the man would have already faded from their thoughts all together. He approached the three (who kept him in their consciousness by watching him from the corners of their eyes) and spoke, "He keeps secrets! From me!" It was Pith who responded, "Yeah, yeah, we know 'How dare he keep secrets from you' - what are you going to do about it?" The fact that they were able to feel his anger, when everything about him fades from an individuals thoughts immediately, let them know that he was REALLY mad - which was a very dangerous thing. They drew in even more power, so much that a low hum began to fill the air. Even holding this much power, they knew that they would hurt him, but lose. Of all the Gods, this one had a special type of hatred for Snypiuer. He was the God of Secrets. Not even the other Gods could conceal their most private thought from him. Yet Snypiuer had, not only, figured out how to shield himself from the God of Secrets, but he had somehow made it so that even his conversations with others were shielded. And he was about to take his anger at Snypiuer out on them. "I'm going to rip you open and see that knot he ties in your head!" He said as he reached for Pith. He stopped inches from him when Silvia said, "One problem, then he'll come after you." He turned to her and was about to speak when Mr. Moog added, "Why don't you go talk to the last God that upset him?" They all turned as a woman entered the room and said, "Yes, Iismaal would appreciate a visitor, he receives so few." The three squirrels said, in unison, "Mother!" as she patted each ones head and scratched behind their ears. The God of Secrets responded, "How long will we let him commit blasphemy after blasphemy? His mere existence is an abomination against us!" She looked at him (something even another God has trouble doing) and said, "You know as well as the rest of us that there is. . . something that protects him. Perhaps you should visit Iismaals' tomb and see what he has to say about him." The God of Secrets visibly shook with anger before simply fading away. The three squirrels hugged the woman as she asked, "So you still serve him?" They looked sheepish as they just nodded. She added, "You know that, as long as you do, you can never enter my kingdom." It was Mr. Moog that looked up at her with sad eyes and softly said, "But, he needs us Mother." She laughed, "Him? He needs no one. Go ask a dead God, he'll tell you how much that one needs anyone." Mr. Moog looked down as he replied, "Not like that Mother. . ." he looked up at her, seriously, and finished, "We think he's getting worse." She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out before saying, "That's not good. There has been signs of change, no one believed he was involved. No, that's not good at. . . ", she stopped and was only a fraction of a second faster then the three squirrels to fill herself up with power as the sound of a bouncing rubber ball came from down the hallway. The vast amount of magical energy in the hallway warped the fabric of space and time around them as a little girl bouncing a rubber ball skipped into view. The three squirrels stood between the child and the woman who stepped back behind them. The little girl smiled and said, "Mommy!" to which the woman replied (with hatred dripping from every word), "You are NO child of mine, empty one, vile creature!" The little girl held her ball and pouted, "That's not nice. . . Mommy." The woman backed away and Pith told her, "Go. Go now." A crisp blue light filled the hallway as she vanished. The three squirrels strained with the energies they were drawing in and desperately weaving shield after shield around themselves. The little girl giggled and said, "Silly Bunnies!" as she touched her ball to their shields and they all simply fell away. "Is he in there?", she asked as she went to the door. Where the God of Secrets was unable to budge the doors even a hairs breadth, she turned the door knob and opened the door a good three inches and began to say, "Hi Da. . . ", before she is thrown back by the force of it slamming shut. She got up, tears in her eyes, she turned to the squirrels and hugging her ball she says, "He's NOT NICE! Not. . . nice. . . at. . . ALL!" As she said the last, her voice lowered and words elongated as her eyes and mouth became empty holes. At that moment, the door opened and the little girl suddenly became very afraid and BEGGED the three squirrels, "PLEEAASSE! Don't tell on me!" as she ran away. All this was nothing, for the REAL story was what was going on within Snypiuers' chambers. A Dark Cabal had gathered and a group of Illuminati had set in motion what they believed would shake the Keep of the Mighty Pen to its' very foundations. Figures cloaked in concealing robes left Snypiuers' dwelling: Two of same height spoke with a third as they each scribbled quickly upon paper and compared each others work. The third also had a loop of coated wire with a small round object attached to one end that he was speaking into, that he was showing to the other two. A fourth cloaked figure (obviously elderly) carried out a large covered object the shape of a picture frame, he turned to Snypiuer and said, "I'll get him back to his mantle." Snypiuer gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and replied, "Get some rest. I'll get the announcement out as soon as possible." When everyone had left, Snypiuer noticed the three squirrels and said, "Oh, good. Mr. Moog! I need your assistance if you would be so kind." Mr. Moog gave the other two a look of 'I have no idea what's going on' as he followed Snypiuer into his chambers. Pith and Silvia were about to walk away when a shrill cry of terror came from Snypiuers' chamber. They were knocked off their feet as Mr. Moog crashed into them. They both asked, "What is it!? What's going on!?" Barely able to calm himself enough to talk, Mr. Moog tells them, "He. . . he asked for it!" Pith said, "Asked for what?" and Silvia added, "What did you do!?" Mr. Moog took a deep breath and calmly said, "The purple suit." Pith and Silvia's eyes turned into round circles as their mouths fell open, together, "He. . . didn't. . ." Mr. Moog: "Yes. He called the Oompa Loompas." They all hugged each other as Pith and Silvia said, "Not the Oompa Loompas!" They turned and looked at Snypiuers' chambers as a purple top hat slowly began to emerge from the side of the doorway - perfectly parallel to the floor. It was atop Snypiuers' head and followed by his shoulders, all perfectly parallel to the floor as if he was actually standing at a 90-degree angle to everything else. With a look of madness beyond madness upon his face, he says, "Yes! The Oompa Loompas!" before slowly retreating back behind the door frame. The three looked at each other and screamed in terror before they all passed out from fright. The Call The Pen awoke to the sound of bells rung by little orange men with green hair and dressed in white coveralls on every corner of the Keep. As one, they announced: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT ON JUNE 21, 2010! THERE SHALL BE A ROLL CALL OF ALL MEMBERS OF THE KEEP OF THE MIGHTY PEN! They repeat this for an hour and post notices on every wall with more details. ***************************************************************************************************************** O.K., we need a valid census of ALL members. We need to know how many people we have to work with. So, on June 21st, we are making a special down loadable Mighty Pen logo (or two) only to those who participate. We are also working on getting a podcast going, along with an E-Book of Mighty Pen works. There is hope of a return of awarding geld and a use for said geld. There are big plans in the works, but we need EVERYONE to AT LEAST log in by JUNE 21 and post SOMETHING letting us know your status: if you are at least lurking or checking in without logging in, doing drive-by posting, etc. It will also help to tell us WHY you may not be posting or logging in as much. SO, contact everyone you know and let them know to check in. Will give periodic updates and more specifics as the Roll Call approaches.

O.K., as everyone should know by now - Snypiuers' critic skills BITE!!! BUT, I have FINALLY seen 'Kick-@ss'. Is it 'The Godfather' or any NUMBER of great movies anyone may be able to name? No. It's a comic book movie. It's not 'Spiderman' or 'Iron Man', but it's also not 'Daredevil' or 'Cat Women'. Simply, it could have been better. All this said, I liked it and HAVE to reiterate my LOVE for Hit-Girl! She made me want to go out and adopt my own little girl and train her to be a non-stop killing machine - the adoption idea came to me after my sister (for SOME unknown reason) said I wasn't allowed to watch my 7 year-old niece anymore. You try to order a bullet proof vest for a 7 year-old ONCE! And people get the strangest ideas about you - go figure! Can't wait for the UNRATED DVD!!! *DISCLAIMER: Snypiuer tends to enjoy movies others may not (such as: 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes', 'Pink Flamingos' and 'Silent Running' along with various other B-Movies and straight to DVD schlock) and his approval of ANY movie is, therefore, not intended to imply that said movie is ACTUALLY good.*

This is good, it felt a little like a different poem in the middle, but worked. I also kind of felt that it was more of a song. Perhaps you could put it to music, or maybe one of the Pennites (like Jason) could do it. On to your other works!!!

Another good one. Noticed that 'The Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way' video popped up next to yours and I thought, "Yeah, that fits!" Keep 'em coming!

Degorram sat starring at the cluttered desk when she heard, what could only be described as, big floppy feet on hard wood floors coming from outside her office. The slapping stopped in the outer office and was replaced by shuffling - as if the creator of said slapping and shuffling was expecting someone to be there. Degorram heard a muffled "Hello?" and was about to get up to look, when the door opened and she saw a sight that made her just freeze in place, mouth wide open in shock. What she saw was an individual dressed (in a FEEBLE attempt) to look like Wyvern. There in the doorway stood Snypiuer: wearing swim fins with pencils taped to the ends for talons, half of an umbrella and a window shade duct taped to his back for wings, a piece of garden hose for a tail and an old football helmet with a suspiciously vibrating electronic device and moldy carrot super glued to it for horns and a traffic cone for a snout - other then a speedo with 'I GELD' vertically (and strategically) sewn into it, that's ALL he was wearing. There was a moment, that seemed to just stretch on and on, where they both just stood, not moving, starring at each other. Snypiuer (timidly): "Heyyyy. . . Degorram. . . whatchya doing?" Degorram: "Uhhh. . . what THE?!" Snypiuer: Looks around nervously. Degorram: "WHY?!" Snypiuer (pure innocence): "What do you mean?" Degorram (slowly): "Why. Are. You. Dressed. Like. THAT?" Snypiuer: Looks at himself and gives her a blank stare. Degorram: "Well?" Snypiuer: "Well? WELL!? Well, I'll. . . I'll. . . I'll tell you!" Degorram: Glares at him. Snypiuer: "I'll. . . it's. . . I'll tell you what it's not!" Degorram: Continues to glare. Snypiuer (defiantly): "It's NOT an attempt to impersonate Wyvern and take over ALL his holdings!" Degorram (disbelievingly): "REALLLYYYY!?" Snypiuer (with bravado): "That's RIGHT! You, young lady, need to learn some manners! I'm an upstanding member of this community! How DARE you even INSINUATE that I would do such a thing!?" Degorram: Crosses arms, taps foot, slowly shakes head and gives him a VERY disapproving look. Snypiuer: "I have NEVER been so insulted and will NOT stand here and take it!" Degorram: Uses EVERY ounce of will power she posses to keep from laughing as Snypiuer TRIES to turn around and angrily leave, only to get tangled up in his costume and stumbled around in a futile attempt to keep from falling. After he actually falls, she has to bite her lip 'till it bleeds and tears roll down her cheek as Snypiuer tries to pull himself up with the desk - only to have the pile of papers he placed his hand on, slide out from under it. The sight of Snypiuer hitting the floor again was too much - she put her face in her hands and stamped her feet as she fought to silence her laughs. Snypiuer: Oblivious to Degorram, finally stands, straightens himself best he can and stomps out, "Good DAY!" Degorram: Falls out of her chair as she hears Snypiuer falling down the stairs.

I'll have whatever the little skeletal rodent is having! Peredhil, under VERY precise conditions (diet, positioning and cave acoustics), "WOMB" would indeed be the sound of an elephant farting in a cave. HOWEVER, barring these PRECISE conditions, the AVERAGE sound of an elephant farting in a cave is more akin to, "mmMWAMPHth!" UNLESS, we are talking about the Laviihian Low Land Cave Elephant of Upper Kelesti (A hybrid creature more closely related to the Hindystii Cave Cow of Carlbadi) which, in deed, DOES make a "WOMB" sound when it farts in a cave. BUT, the fart itself is SILENT! The "WOMB" sound is a nasal vocalization every one of these creatures create when farting for no known scientific reason. Research continues.

Ummmmm. . . that WAS a critique of the poem. Just kidding! Sorry, I could NOT stop myself - I am ashamed. I do like the poem, but that's about as far as my 'critiquing' skills go. Which is even more shameful - 'cause chicks like guys with skills.

Snypiuer: I've watched all the trailers for Kick-@ss (If it's the name of the movie, should it be censored? ) and I HAVE to say that I have fallen head-over-heels, wildly, madly and HOPELESSLY in complete, UTTER LOVE with Hit-Girl! You: DUDE! What is WRONG with you?! Snypiuer: Huh? What? You: She's ELEVEN years old you PERV! Snypiuer: Ahhh. . . WHAT!? I don't. . . You: You're old enough to be her father. HECK! You're almost old enough to be her GRANDfather! Snypiuer: (Stands silently, with a look of TOTAL confusion on his face) You: You're sick! Actually, I'm relatively certain I am now LEGALLY obligated to report you to the Authorities! Snypiuer stares at you with wide eyes and mouth hanging open when, suddenly, an object drops from the ceiling right above him! It is the Legendary, NAY! the no-less-then MYTHICAL, Turtle of Realization (who had been making his way across the ceiling the entire time)! As he falls upon Snypiuer, he swings his giant bat in a mighty downward arc and SHMACK!!! Snypiuers' arms fly out to his sides as if he is reaching for some sort of support and his head appears to ACTUALLY enter his chest cavity - just a little, tiny bit. You: WHAT THE?!?! Snypiuer: (Staggers around) Turtle: (Composes himself, puts his bat away and slowly makes his way out of the room) You: WAS THAT A FRIKIN' TURTLE?!?! WITH A BAT?! Where did it come from?! Snypiuer: (Realizing WHY You think he's a Perv, straightens himself out) Now I understand! You: Huh? What? Snypiuer: What I MEANT was, I'm in love with the CONCEPT of the CHARACTER Hit-Girl! You: Ooohhh!!! Snypiuer: Yeah, the character is just frikin' cool! Sure, the actress that plays her is cute, but she IS a child! Now, if I was her age. . . You: (Worried look returns to your face) Turtle: (Just outside the door, hesitates and begins to turn back around. . .) Snypiuer: (Thoughtfully) Actually, when I WAS her age, I was COMPLETELY clueless and was too big of a goof to even know what to IMAGINE what I would do. Turtle: (With a small smile, shakes his head and leaves) Snypiuer: ANYWAYS, have you SEEN all the trailers? Hit-Girl ROCKS! It just BITES that I won't have any chance to see it 'till the first week of May!

I never know what to say when something bad happens to others. "I'm sorry" doesn't seem right - like MY saying it fixes anything. "Look on the bright-side, no one was hurt" seems kinda flippant. So. . . imagine the perfect thing a person you've never met could ever say to you in this situation to make you feel even a LITTLE bit better and know that I wish I could have come up with that.

HOLY CRAP!!! What EXACTLY are you doing in my closet!? Also, I have NO idea where the neither the make-up/lipstick stains, nor the old French chocolate-box came from.