Snypiuer

Right now, if Snypiuer had colorectal cancer, Real Life would be the ONLY Proctologist available - and he would have had his arms surgically replaced with rusty chain saws. STILL transient at this time, but also still checking in when I can. Harmony's idea is GREAT! A twist on it would be an RP story where everyone writes the SAME story from a first person point of view, but from a different personality. Maybe we could use it as a Roll Call for our 10th? Let's hear what the rest of you think. Will let you know when I get settled! Oh yeah, POST!

O.K., was hoping I would be able to get back to regular posting by now, been bouncing around and have not had reliable internet access. I've been checking in as much as possible to AT LEAST check validations. Shouldn't be too much longer. Our 10th anniversary is coming up on July 4. We need to come up with some way to celebrate. If ANYONE has an idea, let's hear them! Jechum has made a couple of valid points. . . JECHUM!? GREAT TO SEE YOU!!. . . anyways, I have a few ideas - one is to add a MAIN page that has a welcome to our site and our mission statement on it, any announcements, newest postings list, maybe make it the only page with 'PUBLIC' forums and then links to everything else from there, perhaps have the CBox exclusively on it and not any other pages, or vice versa. Let's hear some ideas on that. I'll get back to bothering everyone on a regular basis and updating things as soon as I can!

Snypiuer is taken aback when James says he thought Snypiuer was dead. You see, it wouldn't be the first time Snypiuer woke from a nap to find that he WAS, in deed, dead. Just to be careful, Snypiuer remained on the ground and took inventory of his surroundings. It was a good sign that there were no Demons attempting to torture him and an even better sign that he was neither in an all consuming inferno nor on an endless plane of soul numbing ice - separately, they're not so bad, but finding one's self dead AND in any of those situations is usually a harbinger of a rather inconvenient day. He reasoned that, unless it was like that one time he died and he found himself trapped in a world where a thing called 'Disco' was the dominate form of entertainment (one of the few memories that can actually shake Snypiuer to the very core of his being), he was most likely NOT dead. Still, one never knows, so he remained on the ground - you know, just in case he WAS dead (people tend to be suspicious of you when you're dead and don't act like it). After a while, he started to feel hungry, so he took that as a sign that there was a good chance he may very well NOT be dead, when he notices the Raven. Snypiuer blinks his eye rapidly to moisten it so that it will glisten invitingly and then lies motionless - waiting. He remains still as Harmony and Muse walk in and then leave. As Harmony and Muse leave, Snypiuer mentally files away the negative review and thinks to himself, "She really DOES care!" And waits. . .

Mardrax, good as always. Your last poem makes me want to start a political debate, which shows how good it was. But, this is not the place! Keep 'em coming! RamblingHun, I actually came across your name a while back while looking for an old roommate. His name is Jon Ross, his father was the HIGHLY respected Judo instructor John Ross. Jon, along with R. Lager and I took over his fathers' duplex when he left the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, CO. *For anyone who may have been around back then, Jon went by 'Dragon', Lager went by 'Wizard' and I was 'Snypiuer' (but, I was 'Snypiuer' even before that time) on the old Bulletin Board Systems in Colorado Springs, CO. back in the mid to late 80's - 'Control' was our favorite.* I couldn't find anything on Jon, but heard his father had gone to Korea and I ran across your name while searching for Martial Artist and Martial Arts Associations in Korea. What interested me in YOUR name was that I had heard of the PILOT and wondered if it was the same person. I'M ANOTHER DEGREE CLOSER TO KEVIN BACON - YEAH!!!

I really like Hjolnai's work. It's filled with intrigue and ALWAYS keeps you wanting to know more - no matter how much is revealed. Read Shades of Grey and you'll see what I mean. I also can't wait to read more. My question is: Is this a continuation of 'Shades of Grey' or set in the same world? THANKS for posting it!

My mom would always say that we would probably dig her up after she's dead to ask her where our underwear was. Then again, she'd also get mad and say that she finally understood why women leave their families. It wasn't until she screamed, "NOW I KNOW WHY WOMEN KILL THEIR CHILDREN!" that we would think, "Oh s***!" and IMMEDIATELY start doing EVERYTHING she had told us a thousand times to do!

Great stuff Mardrax, you never fail to amaze! RamblingHun, awesome to see you around - gotten a little busy, but I check out bits and pieces of Hungarian history when I can! I'm nowhere near a scholar on it, but you did get me interested. I like your post. I see it credits Veres Zoltan, is this the Taekwondo expert or perhaps the pilot (though the pilot is Zoltan Veres, I'm not sure of Hungarian name structure)? Just curious!

*You walk in to find Snypiuer napping and smack him upside the head, sending him crashing to the ground.* You: HEY! It's been about TWO frickin' months since your last update! Snypiuer: *Groggy* Uhhh? You: Twwoooo mmmooonnntthhhsss, two, two months. It's been about two months. WHAT do they pay you for!? Snypiuer: *Bewildered* I get paid!? You: *Slaps own forehead with hand, shakes head slowly and mutters to self* What a MORON! O.K., we have three Pennites doing the 100 Poems in 100 Days challenge - All in the Banquet Room and titled 'Challenging Myself': Mardrax Challenging Myself James Crow Challenging Myself Tavarilyn Challenging Myself As long as they finish 100 poems within 100 days of their first poem, they will each get a FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRT! That is as long as no one else steps up and gives them a run for their money. I have to say that they are posting some really good poems and I am SO happy about it! It seems that the Banquet Room is the place to be, with these posts: The Death of Rats What? - What can you say about ANYTHING written by The Death of Rats? If you DON'T like it OR you actually UNDERSTAND it, something is wrong with you. If you don't like it BECAUSE you understand it, seek help IMMEDIATELY! Jomeansme My Words - This poem just reminds me that I wish Jomeansme would post MORE! Signe meta poetry - Like EVERYONE else, I love Signe and want her to know that I do NOT blame her. She gave us a REALLY cool little toy to play with. My problem? I spent I-do-NOT-know-how-long putting in ALL my poems, ONLY to have it DELETE EVERYTHING THREE FRICKIN' TIMES!!! (O.K., I did it when I accidentally hit the 'back' button while switching between screens and cutting and pasting. BUT, it was when I was almost done EACH time and I blame IT!!!) Mardrax All Work and no Play - Mardrax wrote this WHILE FALLING ASLEEP! Am I the ONLY one who reads this and thinks, "Why do I even TRY to write this well when he does it less than half awake?" Patrick A Muse Tickles - Simple. Elegant. Patrick. James Crow Golden Goose - Each time I read this, it SEEMS to change meaning in a very subtle way. Read it for yourself, read it for someone else. mai takekaze a poem for fun - WOW! Just read it and you'll understand! The Library did have a couple of additions: The Death of Rats Status Optimal - Is it a bad thing that this makes my brain itch. . . AND I LIKE IT!? Peredhil The Short Story - ANOTHER helpful link from just about the most helpful and HUG-TASTIC Pennite you'll EVER meet! Finally, Alaric gave us 'Trust', which can be found in The Scarlet Pen. How much can you TRULY trust the person you love? Read this and start sleeping with one eye open. Also, HOPE everyone liked the BLACK PEN skin. As always, you can go to the bottom of the page and, on the left side, click on the drop down menu and choose whichever skin you want to use. Oh yeah, one more thing. . . POST!!!

Weellllll, O.K.! You can join! 99 more WITHIN (see how I got that part right this time!?) the next 99 days (not counting today, of course) and you, YES YOU! can have a FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRT! So far, I said 3 shirts to the first three to complete the challenge and it looks like you are on your way to being number three! I like this poem and look forward to MORE from you!

ONLY A WEEK?! I'm starting to think that after 100 of your poems, I'm just going to want to see MORE! Yeah, Snypiuer IS a selfish individual that, once he finds something he enjoys, just GORGES himself with no regard for the feelings or well-being of others! It's NOT Snypiuers' fault YOU write so well! Just to be clear, I like what you have written!

Great start! Give me 99 more in the next 99 days and you got a FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRT! I'm REALLY just glad you took up the challenge because (in my not-so-humble opinion) everything you've written, so far, is REALLY good and I look forward to seeing more!

I like it - JUUSSSTTT the right amount of risqué!

You're right! I didn't even think about not having Net connection! 100 Poems WITHIN 100 days! By the way, GREAT stuff so far!

A worthy goal! As you know, I am not good at critiquing. But, I WILL do this to help you out: I, Snypiuer, WILL award Mardrax ONE FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRT (of one of these sizes: S, M, L, XL, XXL) if he posts a MINIMUM of 1 original poem a day for 100 CONSECUTIVE days. How's THAT for incentive?! In fact, not only is Mardrax GUARANTEED a shirt IF he succeeds: I, Snypiuer, will award TWO MORE FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRTS (of one of these sizes: S, M, L, XL, XXL) to two other Pennites if they are able to posts a MINIMUM of 1 original poem a day for 100 CONSECUTIVE days - these will go to the FIRST two to do this and if more than two qualify, winners will be randomly picked from all who do qualify. Also, IF Mardrax is unable to finish, his shirt will be made available for a third Pennite to try for. Any questions, let me know and GOOD LUCK!

TEST

I had another post of Stupid things I've done, where I mentioned an incident that led to a week long beating. That incident fits better here, as something Bad I've done. Although MANY things I've done are both. Anyways, anyone can unburden themselves here and rest assured that it will be held in the strictest of confidence. STILL, I wouldn't confess to ANYTHING that may or may not be considered an actual crime. You: Pray tell, what do you mean Uncle Snypiuer? Snypiuer: Well, here's a hypothetical situation that your Uncle Snypiuer would NEVER admit to: Let's say that an individual was in a Third World country where he and an associate STARTED a day of drunken debauchery, at around 10:30 AM (yes, that would be AM), which included, well over: $40 apiece in .50 cent Tequila shots, $30 apiece in $1 buckets of Corona and an unknown amount for various other alcoholic beverages - suffice it to say, several hundreds of dollars each, may or may not have been spent by the HYPOTHETICAL individual and his associate. THEN, at some point in this HIGHLY ill advised hypothetical outing (approximately 3 or 4 AM the NEXT morning), the associate of the individual in question INSISTS on going to see his 'Girlfriend' that lives in this Third World country. Said individual sees nothing wrong with his associates' desire to visit his true love and therefore DRIVES him to see her. While blindly speeding through narrow, deserted streets, the associate (at the last second) says, "Turn here!" and points left. The idiot driving does so and, as he makes the turn, catches a blurry glimpse of a disheveled figure out of the corner of his eye, then hears a thump, followed by a scream. The individual driving shouts, "What the h*** was that?!" and the associate responds, "An old man pushing a cart!" To which, the driver of the vehicle says, "Time to get back to the U.S.!" You (Wide eyed and slack jawed): Ughhhh. . . that's KIND of specific and DETAILED for a 'Hypothetical' situation. . . Snypiuer: Just so that I can FULLY illustrate to you what one should NEVER admit to. You: Did you run ov. . . Snypiuer (abruptly cutting in): It was a hypothetical situation in which it was most likely just the cart that was run over! You: Really? Snypiuer: Well. . . yeah! Either way, THAT is the kind of situation one should NEVER admit to here. Now that we understand what SHOULDN'T be confessed to here, let me say that I thought of posting this because of an incident that happened yesterday: Your Uncle Snypiuer went to Wally World (Walmart) and, on the way out, stopped to play the claw machine (your Uncle Snypiuers' 7 year old niece likes those little rubber bands shaped like animals and stuff and the machine was full of bags of them - and your Uncle Snypiuer ALWAYS keeps little goodies on hand for his niece!). Thing is, there was some kid there (about 4 years old) doing his best to break the machine. He had put in one quarter and (as he violently yanked on the joy stick and beat the buttons on the machine) I told him he needed to ask his parents (who were at the DVD rental machine and oblivious to their child's destructive actions) for another quarter. He ran to his dad and his father absent mindedly reached in his pocket and handed the kid a quarter. Kid ran back, put in said quarter, violently yanked on the joy stick and beat buttons until the claw dropped on nothing. Kid kept up his assault on the machine until I asked him if I could play. Kid ran away and as I pulled out a dollar and was about to insert it in the machine, kid runs back, pushes my hand out of the way and drops ONE quarter in the machine and once again begins his violent assault. After I, ONCE AGAIN, tell the kid he needs another quarter, he runs back to his dad who has run out of quarters. Seeing that the kid was NOT going to be playing anytime soon, I put in my dollar and began to play. THAT'S when the kid runs back, squeezes in between me and the machine, grabs the joy stick and pounds on the buttons so that the claw drops on. . . you guessed it, NOTHING! I laugh and do my best to GENTLY move the kid, but he manages to waste my second play also. His parents, meanwhile, keep searching for a DVD and don't even bother to look over. I get the kid to back-off and I put in another dollar, only to have the kid, ONCE AGAIN, reach in and press the button to drop the claw on nothing. At this point, I tell the kid a bit more sternly to stop pressing the button. That's when his dad, without even looking over, tells him to behave. As I look over at the parents, the kid manages to waste ANOTHER play. So, I'm 2 dollars down and the kid is assaulting the machine again when the mother FINALLY comes over and tells the kid to leave the machine alone. The kid backs-off and your Uncle Snypiuer STUPIDLY believes that, with the mother there, the kid wouldn't reach in and push any buttons. The mother laughs as she 'TRYS' to get her kid to not push the buttons and waste my last dollar - which he does. It was at this moment that I heard a voice. Now, your Uncle Snypiuer is an Atheist (a fact he has mentioned on a few occasions), but he is VERY open minded and accepting of the POSSIBILITY he MAY be wrong - It is moments such as this, that that possibility gains credibility. To be truthful, I can NOT state with ANY amount of certainty whether the voice was ENCOURAGING or ADMONISHING. All I can say is that, whether Demonic or Divine, it was a voice that was not mine and SEEMED to come from all around me. The voice was clear and full as it said, "YOU ARE ABOUT TO PUNCH A 4 YEAR OLD IN THE HEAD!" Now, your Uncle Snypiuer did NOT punch the kid in the head - he WANTED to punch the kid in the head, but he did NOT. Your Uncle Snypiuer DID take pleasure (as well as felt a bit of disappointment) in watching the kid ALMOST get run over when he ran into the parking lot as his father chased after him. It was heart-warming to see he finally HAD to pay attention to what his kid was doing. Another thing your Uncle Snypiuer will NEITHER confirm NOR deny - EVER: Whether or NOT, he was the individual responsible for coaxing the kid out the door in the first place. As I stated, this incident inspired me to confess Bad things I HAVE done. One thing is: Your Uncle Snypiuer uses a wheelchair when going somewhere that will require a LOT of walking (like a mall, park, Costco, etc), due to his Muscular Dystrophy. I can walk around for short periods of time, as long as I can rest frequently or have something to lean on - but I use a wheelchair at malls and such just to be safe. But, I only mention this because kids tend to notice a 6 foot, 280 lb. guy with long hair and full beard in a wheel chair and THAT allows me to do a Bad thing (NOT that! SOME of you REALLY need to get your mind out of the gutter!). This Bad thing? My 7 year old niece LOVES Build A Bear. So, I take her whenever I go to the mall. While there, I wait until a few kids are waiting in line to fill their bears with stuffing (their parents are USUALLY off looking at something else), get close enough for them to take notice of the large, hairy guy in a wheelchair and then have this conversation with my niece - loud enough for the other children to hear: Snypiuer: You know where all that stuffing in the machine comes from? Niece (who has had this conversation with Snypiuer several times and CONTINUES to go along with it!): No. Snypiuer: Well, you see the tubes on top there? Niece: Yeah. Snypiuer: Well, they take ALL the stuffed animals no one wants and put them in there. The machine then chops them ALL UP! Niece: NO! Snypiuer: YES! If you listen REALLL closely, you can hear the poor stuffed animals screaming as they get torn to pieces! Niece: NO! Snypiuer: YES! It's USUALLY about this time I'm asked to leave - ESPECIALLY if some kid starts to cry! O.K.! That's enough for now. I'll add more when I sort out what I CAN confess to! ANYONE who wants to, can add their own Bad thing!

(The new color scheme doesn't really show it, but the underlined words ARE links you can click on!) Well, still a bit slow. Appy did finish Wild Roses (I FINALLY figured out how to make links look better!!!) - which is something a few of us should also be doing with our own works (Yes. I am one of the BIGGEST procrastinators here and need to learn from Appy more than most). As mentioned in last News post, I have made a Dark Tan skin. THANKS to those who have responded and I look forward to any suggestions anyone may have! If you haven't read it, please read: Announcement: 'Monthly Shirt Giveaway' It can be found at the top of any Forum. I also have a few ideas: 1. I've been thinking about randomly choosing a Pennite (once a month or so) and featuring their work in a special section - I just have to figure out HOW. 2. Starting a Twitter account for the Pen as well as getting the Facebook page to interface (is that the right term?) with the site - once again, have to figure out HOW (we have the icons, so I KNOW it can be done). 3. Start collecting submissions for an E-Book. Several of the on-line bookstores have a program to put one together and publish through them for around $200 or less - I also have a friend who does internet stuff that can help. I'm thinking it should be mainly (about 75%) work NOT posted on the site. It could be free to download or, if we do charge, the money can go to the Pen for our yearly fees. It would take a while to get everything together, so I would be able to get the money to pay for it by the time it was needed. Let me know what you think. Finally, ANY ideas ANYONE has to improve the site, PLEASE! let us know. You can even PM me if you want to stay anonymous. Thanks and, as always, POST!

This is another one of those that I'm not REALLY sure if I actually wrote it or heard/read it or heard/read something like it. . . my mind tends to wander and I can never be sure EXACTLY which thoughts are mine and which just happen to be passing through at the time. . . either way, it's a little awkward, but I hope you like it anyways ********************************************************************************* ********************************************************************************* Take my hand and Hold me closely Feel the chill Deep in my bones Softly whisper In my ear "It's O.K. Now, you are home." Rock me slowly Kiss me sadly Wash my face With tears from your eyes Start to tremble Cry out madly Let me go Say, "Goodbye." The end has come I've done my time I've been released Left the line Soon you'll see Now that I'm gone It's not the end Life goes on Eventually You'll be happy Memories fade We all move on Just remember When the time comes In the end You were never alone I'll be there to Hold you closely And whisper softly "It's O.K." "Now you are home."

Been wanting to respond to this, but got caught up with things. I am NOT a good critic. I don't know about sentence structure or technical stuff when it comes to writing. But I DO like this. I keep hoping you write more! Wish I could go beyond this and give some constructive, useful feedback - SORRY!

O.K., it's more chocolate than tan, BUT I'm calling it DARK TAN. Still have to find the code for a few places that are still blue (light blue bar below the 'EDITOR' screen for example) and adjust some color contrast (words in some of the bars and headers are hard to read). Used the old tan background in posts and a few other places where I could. May have to lose logo - found picture of Wizard on computer, but couldn't find whether or not it was free to use. There was nothing saying it WASN'T. . . but you never know. Other than that, the old tan background, papyrus and faded yellow paper, I did everything that isn't just a plain, solid color myself (bars, buttons, footer, etc.). I'll fix what I can when I figure it out and, as always, you can go to the bottom of the page and on the left side, select 'IP.Board' from the drop-down menu to change it back to the Blue Board. Let me know what you think and ANY suggestions. HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Snypiuer stands before James, arms crossed, foot a-tapping, "Listen here - does a pack of Devil Monkeys and/or Monkey Devils APOLOGIZE for ambushing you and dragging your limp carcass away to do UNIMAGINABLE and DISGUSTING acts upon it that are so VILE and DEPRAVED, that they are never, EVER to be so much as CONTEMPLATED, let-alone, SPOKEN of by even the most lowly and vulgar creations of the DARKEST of all Gods!?" James: "Uhhhh. . . ?!" Snypiuer: "That's RIGHT! THUS! Taking this bit of knowledge and applying it here, the OBVIOUS lesson for you is. . . well?!" James: "Uhhh. . . ?!" Snypiuer: "CORRECT AGAIN! I am ASTOUNDED by your insight! The lesson is - YOU WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR GRACING US WITH YOUR WORDS!" James stands, dumbfounded, blinking and staring at Snypiuer and wondering to himself, "Just, EXACTLY, how insane is this guy?!" As James uses his peripheral vision to locate the nearest exit, Snypiuer looks sternly at him and softly, with authority, says, "Do I make myself clear?" ***************************** Well, that's three of us. We need more and someone to run it. . . so, let us know if you want to join! James, your poem was great! I, personally, don't care WHERE you post them, as long as you keep 'em coming!

O.K., been some talk about a game of Werewolf, so: Let's see what kind of response we get. Would need someone to run it and enough players. Leave messages here as to when you can play and if you'd like to run it. For those who do not know of this game, check out the rules at: http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=10823 Also (this will eventually be a topic of its' own), trying to figure out ACTUAL birth date of the site - Member Profile for the site states January 16, 2003. But, first post I was able to find is July 4, 2001. I BELIEVE the January 16, 2003 date was due to a change of some sort since the VAST majority of original members start date is January 15, 2003. So far, we're leaning toward July 4th, 2001 - which would mean THIS July 4th is the 10th Anniversary of the site. PLEASE let us know ANYTHING you may know or your opinion on the matter - the SOONER it's figured out, the sooner we can start to plan what we can do to celebrate it. Like I said, THAT will be a Topic all its' own! Hope you guys liked the Valentine skin, I'm working on an updated Tan skin (building it around the old Tan background - which is all that's left of it), so hopefully I'll have that done before too long (will TRY not to go overboard on it)! I THOUGHT that at least ONE person *coughcough-Degorram-coughcough* would have posted AT LEAST a simple 'Be my Valentine' to the Pen and therefor claim a FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRT as stated in the last News post. But I GUESS no one *coughcough-Degorram-coughcough* had time to do so. Well, I have more to give away, I'm thinking (just to teach a certain someone *coughcough-DEGORRAM-coughcough* a lesson) I'mma just gonna give one away to . . . GILES! It's been pointed out that you are sometimes the ONLY active member for weeks and you DESERVE a shirt (something I FULLY agree with) - SO PM a size and address and it is YOURS! I was ALSO thinking Kikuyu, but I love Degorram too much to be THAT mean! Don't worry, you'll have more chances! We've had more Prodigal Pennites check-in: Check-in Here http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=16926 and We want you back http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=16813 While Atadiusti gave us: Someplace Better http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=17054 and Somebody Save Me! http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=17055 Two VERY good pieces that more than complement each other! That's about it. . . a little slow. . . soooooo. . . I'MMA GIVING AWAY ANOTHER FREE MIGHTY PEN T-SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Check-in later to see how YOU can be the one to win it!!!

For those of you who have not had the misfortune of reading some of my previous stuff, rest assured that Snypiuer is FULLY aware of his insanity - not only its' full breadth and depth, but the entirety of its' magnitude. He is KEENLY aware that his delusions of grandeur are nothing more than what they are - delusions. It MIGHT help to know that 'Snypiuer' is the manifestation of my own personal psychosis and, like him, I too am fully aware of this - who better to understand that a God-complex IS a psychosis than an Atheist (that would be me)? But, let us ALL admit the obvious, the fact that I (like 'Snypiuer') understand and accept this, in and of itself, VALIDATES the delusion. I know, it's a burden. ************************************************************************************************************************************************************************ I want to be the one For whom the Angels sing When the end has come All on bended knee When each face turns toward the sky When every voice is raised on High When Man stands before his God I want him to see That upon the throne is me It's not enough to never die Or to know each truth and lie To know all that may or may not be Out of all my hopes and dreams To be God is such a small thing At least it is for me. I want to look at time As if it's a book that I might read I want to hold the Universe In my hand, like a small seed I want my voice to fill the sky I want the stars to fill my eyes When Man reaches for the stars I want him to see What he's looking for is me It's not enough to never die Or to know each truth and lie To know all that may or may not be Out of all my hopes and dreams To be God is such a small thing At least it is for me. My one wish for my life: These things will come to be Not just in my head Much more than just a dream I will step outside my mind I will awake and I will find When God goes to bed at night He will finally see His prayers are prayed to me It's not enough to never die Or to know each truth and lie To know all that may or may not be Out of all my hopes and dreams To be God is such a small thing Well, At least it is for me.

Why, thank you very much. This is what happens when I don't sleep for a LONG time and go on a moody music binge - ESPECIALLY 4-NonBlondes. I know, 4-NonBlondes!? Linda Perry. . . is. . . AWESOME! Look her up. Listen to her. Kiss my feet in gratitude at your earliest convenience. This woman could sing the alphabet and you would FEEL it had meaning. It's like she takes a dull knife and eviscerates herself, reaches in and pulls out every last shred of her soul, throws it on the ground before you and as it writhes there, she grabs you by the scruff of your neck, forces you to your knees, shoves your face right up to it, places her lips a hairs breadth from your ear and. . . informs you, "There. That. THAT is the very essences of my being. The whole of what I ever was or will be. Look upon it and tremble at the horror of its' beauty." Don't get me wrong, she's written stuff that, if ANYONE other than her sang it, it'd suck - like 'Dear Mr. President'. I do not know of anyone who could sing that song and I wouldn't think that they were some pretentious, holier-than-thou, well. . . I'll be kind and NOT say it. BUT, when Linda sings it. . . wow. ANYWAYS, that's my rant on my sleep deprived, Linda Perry inspired writing! One last thing, 'Love is a Thing of Evil'. . . frickin' genius, thank YOU for that one!

Just rambling from lack of sleep. I'll see what it looks like after I get some rest. ***************************************************************** They said, "Today, the beatings wont be that bad." And you would think, "Well, that's still sad." But, to me, it kind of makes me. . . Happy. 'Cause, it's still another day of hopes and dreams. And 'neath the cries and sobs and screams. There's that one small chance, the meds will. . . finally kick in. I try to rise, tired of being kept down, of being punched and kicked while on the ground. With only blood and pain and blackened eye, proof, I'm still alive. For now. A constant struggle and fight, just to be knocked back down. Left broken and shattered and pushed around. With naught to look forward to but the end of the day, when I can lay down my burdens, close my eyes and drift away. To rest my weary soul, in my too small bed, to dream of love and comfort and getting ahead. Solaced by the hope that, maybe tomorrow, the meds will kick in and the beatings. . . really wont be that bad.