Ayshela

Discard the first paragraph... an interesting point. i'd not really considered how often the first paragraph is sort of a "throat clearing" for what you really want to say. In this case, i would feel a bit of loss at seeing the first paragraph cut. It's a decent set-up, a good contrast from all that is beyond your control to that which is theoretically firmly withIN your control, and the ambivalence of seizing that control. Hmm. Perhaps a separate thread, so they aren't completely lost - "Aardvark's thought provoking first paragraph cuts"???

*shrieks* oh, the old Enid Blyton books were a hoot!! i haven't actually read any of the Harry Potter books either. The kids have them all, and barring the one who's dyslexic and has issues reading anyway, they've liked them to greater or lesser degree. i think my SO likes them at least as well as the kids do, to be honest. *G* i'll probably break down and read them here soon, simply because summer is hectic enough in its own way that having "mindless reading" for late nights is a good thing - something moderately engaging but not so complex that if you put it down you're going to have to re-read the last chapter to figure out where you were again. From all i've seen, Harry Potter qualifies.

i haven't active brain cells to write more than this right now, but if i don't write it i'll forget it and i may wish to do something with it later. If this isn't where this belongs, i trust one of our kind Elders can place it appropriately. ~~~ i've taken my cel phone out to the porch, praying to the cellular gods for more than a moment's reception. The stars shine brightly, out here. The blue backlight looks oddly like reflected starlight as i sit hoping to connect to voice mail. (success! The cellular gods are kind tonight.) As i sit on the worn porch steps listening to your voice calling across the miles, the scene before me is as oddly conflicted as is my heart. Overgrown rosebushes, a lawn which needs mowing, off in the distance the glaring lights from the oil refinery. Yet in between, across the road but near enough to wander into, summer night's mist is stealing over the fields. Gossamer light ribbons of mist slipping easily over the green expanse, hugging the warm ground and gently breathing cool moisture onto each waiting plant within its reach. i sit and watch the changing mists, then rise and wander back into the house realizing how much i miss you.

a blessed merry happy birthday to you, Zool!!!

a much belated Happy Birthday! and your share of official genuine guaranteed germ free *hugs* too!

*shrug* first you'd have to define "right" and "wrong" to determine whether or not something is wrong. then you'd have to determine what constitutes "sufficient evidence". for myself, the first rule is "do no harm". as far as i'm concerned anyone can believe whatever they want. If there's concrete evidence against their beliefs they may run into problems (ie. believing it's sunny when it's hailing), but as long as one's beliefs harm no one else, why does it matter? simple fact is that there's a lot of our daily lives that we accept as "given" states because doing so simply works. is there in fact "sufficient proof" for many of that which we simply accept? maybe, maybe not. a question like this will always gravitate toward the religion end of the spectrum though in fact it applies to many other things as well, most of which we don't so question. (mind blanking due to sleep deprivation.. sorry)

a belated but no less heartfelt Happy Birthday! and genuine guaranteed germ free *hugs*

i *like* this one.

*nod* said it and thought it so many times that when i finally found the t-shirt i had to buy it.. it says "I have come to the conclusion that my sole purpose in life is to serve as a bad example" hey, everyone has to have *some* purpose, right?

hmm.. very insightful, the both of you. thank you. wanders away humming and mumbling to herself

happy smiles

question everything. which is, actually, probably the hardest thing to do, because the things you think are unquestionable - basic fundamental truths about yourself and about life - are usually the very things which most need to be shaken loose and looked at again. give yourself a break. (yes, i say it well and can't do it, yet) it doesn't matter what other people did or didn't live, what matters is what you lived and the effects it's had on you. you can't do anything about anyone else's life, only yours. you don't know the intimate details of anyone else's life, so any comparison is unfair to both of you. give yourself a break. it was tough and you survived it. well done. why do you give up? training and fear, if i had to make a guess. if i had to make a second guess, i'd say training to be afraid. you don't have to be, though it's a hard habit to give up. i'm still trying to figure out what else there is, though, so i can't point you to the road signs out even though i do know the territory you're in. You're 22. You've survived 22 years. good for you! That can be difficult to do. it's not the end of the road, though, because you're now at the point where many people are trying to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try to figure out how the heck they got where they are and where to go from there. Those are questions only you have the answers for, though talking to others can help you find them within yourself. Perhaps you could even find the escape hatch which leads back into life and *living*? *hugs*

ahhhh, gotcha! was wondering how you managed that. cool stuff! that *is* a bundle there, and how cool to have people around who know what you want and will get it for you!

you sleep til noon, internet from ten to two.. do you really internet for two hours in your sleep?? how do you manage that??? details, please? i could get a LOT more done that way! ;>

well, not ALL of them, just MOST of them! LOL Happy Birthday! Hope it's extra special for you.

Wish that i could find a cave so deep and far away where i could join the darkness crawling further in to stay forever in the blackness leave my pain where none can see though should you feel likewise maybe you could come with me (*hugs* to you, Chanz. in such circumstances, one can never have too many hugs.)

quite right, it could easily be read either way. i admit i'd slipped into mentally following the "character" about through the flow of the piece and my mental image at that point included the plural very naturally. i can see where that would not be the case.

LOL is THAT the proper goal?!?! so that's what i've been doing wrong!!! *hugs* Canid i've seen no indication of you being an *improper* poet. i like this. nicely done.

This is, unreservedly, beautiful. i truly hope you're not honestly ashamed of having written it.

very nice flow! i think "dandies" in the plural is correct in the sense of affected, exaggeratedly image conscious people standing about talking jobs and wages/salaries and taxes etc ad nauseum. such a conversation generally takes more than one person.

LOL i doubt whether anyone would be *dense* enough to question it! though examples such as this only make assurance double sure.

(finally, someone else who spells it *right*) *giggle*

lol yep. there's a few repeats, but it's still an impressive and amusing list. i think the hardest part would be deciding what to write about first.

thank you! yes, freewriting with whatever's on your mind at the time is usually the best way to go. it's an intriguing list, however, and looks like a certain block-breaker. i think if i were to look over that list and have *nothing* come to mind to write about, i'd probably be dead.

YAY!!! thank you very much, Yui! i agree, there's some strange stuff in there (lol). There's also enough extras that anything which simply doesn't work for you can be easily sidestepped in favor of another option which does, and still come up with a respectable number of free-writes. (sad but true, i'd have a much easier time writing about the drug references than i would about the TV shows i never watch.)