Ayshela

LOL oh yes, i get it.. for all the times i've shouted inside my head to just SHUT UP!!!!! but do the words stop? oh no, not until i've sat down somewhere and written them, one way or another. and yet, and yet, the resistance to writing it is there, because it's not really *real* until it's made so, until it's given form on the page or on the screen and granted its real estate in reality. words have power. you fight them at your own risk, you indulge them at your own risk.. but indulging them brings a better reward than fighting them - those crisp clear moments of blessed peace when the clamoring words have been stilled.

mmm. yeah? what about those of us who believe that life in this universe deserves to end?

i think this is my favorite part of this. how very true this is, and how often do i find myself "dressing my face" - of not only as blank, always as something entirely else than who i am and what i really feel. and it's so nice to be here where i don't have to. wouldn't it be quite the eye-opener if everyone could paint the world as they see it, so others could share the experience? and then again, we come together here and paint with words. i like this. you made me think, and that's always a good thing.

VERY good. i think you're right, the extra stanza was needed to complete it. i liked each previous version, but i *love* this.

thank you. and.. somehow, someway.. i'm quite certain Sean would agree with you.

*gleeful hugs* now, see! that wasn't so hard, was it?

This has been kicking around in inchoate form for more months than i care to think about, much less admit. I may rework it, i'm not certain, but right now i think it needs to be *said* more than any further revisions. ~~~~~ i see.. ~~~~~ i.. i.. i'm what??? stuttering, stammering, staring like a blind fool into the face of compassion. You are. Isn't that enough? You are generous, and kind, - don't look away from me - you are smart, and you love abundantly, though you've been shown precious little. i couldn't help but turn away.. i'm sorry.. i'm NOT - You ARE. Why won't you just once, if only once, believe me? his hands on my shoulders turn me back to face him. Why do you always and only see the negative? Because.. please no, i don't want to admit this please no, i don't want to cry there's nothing else TO see. Oh, but there is. - don't turn away - There is more. There is so much more that you will never see until you look for it. See yourself, just this once, through my eyes - not their lies. Your mirror filters through their lies, so all you see is all they told you. See through my eyes, to see who you are. You are kind. You are gentle. You are good. i could not bear the fire in his eyes. i could not help but turn away again. He turned me to the mirror, then he turned my face to his. Trapped deep within his gentle eyes, he spoke my name and i began to cry.

*hugs* don't despair, sometimes we don't have time to write and sometimes the words just aren't there for a while. Doesn't mean either condition is permanent, and doesn't mean you're not welcome. *hugs* remember, we need readers and commenters as well as writers.

quick proofread - i find nothing out of place. nicely written.

excellent! minor spelling errors (breathe, clothes, fare) but otherwise, remarkable as always.

LOL more apt to be offended over being used, frankly. i do understand why you couldn't say why you were making such a suggestion, and why you chose to do so here. but i agree that for any of a number of reasons, this isn't the best place to look for standard reactions from a random subsection of the population.

*shrug* i avoided this one not out of an unwillingness to get to know you, or to be your friend, but because i have huge issues with feeling forced to "earn" or "compete" for friendship. i simply don't work that way.. either i'm your friend or i'm not, but if i have to compete for the honor, chances are i'm not. i'm more than willing to *be* your friend, on an equal and open basis. i'm *not* willing to compete for it, which is why i avoided this thread and all that it entailed until now.

*nod* every time, the bar is raised a little bit higher.

*nod* i'd say keep it non-rhyming as it would seem a bit odd to start non-rhyming in that voice and end rhyming, without a clearer "lean" from the second voice in influence. as far as the "child" voice.. a child is not necessarily extremely young. i found no discord in the wording, but perhaps listening to my own inner child's complaints over the years has warped my perspective.

i don't really find this lacking, though not knowing your purpose or goal for this, you would know better than i. if you wanted you *could* choose one of your ending lines and give examples for it as you have before, but.. i *like* this. enough examples that we see what you mean, and for the rest, we're left to think of examples for ourselves.

Welcome! you come highly recommended indeed! i'm looking forward to seeing you about here.

a small form rises from the table in the corner and wends her way toward the bar. Having whirled through and given her hugs on arrival friday, she feels no need to repeat Peredhil's performance, and simply collects her own hug on the way toward her waiting refill. "Thank you much," she says softly as she tosses coins to the bartender. "And another for the stranger here, whatever he's drinking, please?" Stopping by the newcomer's seat she extends a hand in welcome. "Pleased to meet you, i'm sure you'll find yourself quite welcome here. Oh, and here, this may help with the forgotten thoughts issue." Ayshela sets a small notebook and pen beside him, smiles, and vanishes back toward her shadowed table in the corner.

Ayshela wanders along behind most of the crowd, in a mostly-successful effort to stay out of the way of those whose footsteps were less than steady. She hoped Brute would like her gift. Hidden safely in her pack, well cushioned, were half a dozen bottles of different types of ales she'd run across in her travels. As they arrived, she was still debating whether to try to force her way through the crowd to give her gift while Brute would still be apt to recognize it, or to wait until things had settled down a bit - but looking around, things were unlikely to settle down for some time, so perhaps it's a moot point.. Happy Birthday, Brute!

Regel - not universally, but sufficiently so, yes. In my younger years (pre-kids and mid-life-crap, so to speak) not one woman in ten would honestly sit and *talk* with me, most simply talked *at* me with one eye on their husbands or boyfriends to make sure i didn't get "too close" or that they didn't notice me. My own firm attachment elsewhere was meaningless. Sometimes, it's worth the price to become non-threatening, especially as you become much less of a target in the process.

Sometimes you just try too hard.. i haven't seen anything you've written that *wasn't* amazing. Amazing honest, amazingly real, amazingly full of heart. Glad to see your app here! *hugs*

hey, life happens! around here, we certainly understand that! you've hardly been the only one amongst the missing recently. We're certainly glad to have you back, but for heaven's sake, take it easy on yourself. *hugs*

Happy happy birthday! *cheers* *begins passing out cake, ice cream, and noisemakers*

*giggle* too true!

With a weary sigh, Ayshela sinks deeply into an overstuffed chair and absolutely refuses to move as comes the end of another long and weary week, my congratulations to us all for having survived once again.. and a thankful "welcome" to the weekend!' *hugs*

*shrieks of laughter* i LOVE it! and knowing who you mean, i don't think "pegged" does the thought justice. *giggles* well done!