Ayshela

HEY! I wasn't abusing the catnip, to be quite accurate (peels a few more kittens off her legs) IT was abusing ME! I just, kinda, fell into it.. LOL

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!!! *breathes a hyooooooj sigh of relief and collapses into a heap in the corner*

*mock glares at Zool* indeed? and by what definition??

nice. i LIKE your ending twist, btw. were you aiming at a consistent rhythm with this? there's a couple rough spots, if so.. slowly choose slowly chose? As they prepared, a fire glared, and removed any attempt at ruse. perhaps "removed attempts"? you can slip in a leading soft syllable, but with "any" in there it's just too much to cram into the pattern you established And with each step, the fire crept, though it stayed where it had been yet stayed? Second stanza, i'd omit the leading 'and' the fires of hatred couldn’t be smothered again, the phrase is good but several syllables too long for your pattern. perhaps something along the line of "hatred's fires don't smother"?? Next line - his their foe - which? last stanza - And through the night, neither felt any fright—the battle would come again tomorrow. you have two successive lines beginning with 'and'. i'd omit this one. "Through the night, neither felt fright - they'd battle again tomorrow" or something like that. This line also, the last phrase is good, it makes sense, but it's too long for the pattern you established. and lastly - For though the blows had struck home *this* one is just a bit short. "For though the blows had each struck home"?? again, an illustrative suggestion. Excellent concept, and nicely handled. I'd not only like to see it fully polished, i'd like to see you posting in here more often. edit: the board is not liking quotes right now, changed to italics instead

First things first - Welcome! *hugs* As regards your poem - several things, from several aspects, so bear with me please? i promise it won't hurt. From the top, this is one i personally can really appreciate. i've lived enough of my life teetering on the brink for much of this to really resonate. As far as the technical aspects - a spell checker would catch most of the typos and forgotten apostrophes (and i really recommend writing in notepad or a word processor and copying your text in. no software is ever failsafe, and it can be heartbreaking to write something and lose it because the board database is having issues or you lose your connection or something.) Rhyme scheme - you start with kind of an alternating rhyme and move into straight sets of rhyming lines. Was that a deliberate choice? As regards content - i wish i could tell you it all magically gets better.. but i won't lie to you. what i will tell you is that it never gets better if you're dead. i will tell you that no matter how tempting it is to stop the pain permanently, it doesn't stop it.. just spreads it around. Suicide is the siren's call of the wounded, and it's equally hard to resist. Just please know that it's okay to say that you hurt, that you want the pain to stop. it's giving up that's the problem, because the dead don't heal. edited: i WILL learn to type in complete sentences, really i will!

Peals of maniacal laughter echo toward the Cabaret Room, giving those within a moment's pause. With strangely muffled, stumbling steps, Ayshela reaches the door and finally manages to open it, nearly falling inside accompanied by fully a clowder of mewing, purring, twining cats. Weaving her way to the nearest table, she manages to deliver a very large cake box with only minor mishap. With a gleeful flourish, she opens the box to reveal Pink Neko's cake, in the shape of a large pawprint, tastefully adorned with a small sprig of catnip. "Happy Birthday", she cried! "And, i seem to have.. attracted.. some of your friends. It's all the fault of the catnip, and the littlest one here, who tripped me into the patch. i'm sure it will all come off in the shower.. i'm sure.. i hope.." *giggles* Happy Birthday!

i dont' think so? i offered to referee, but never heard from anyone. Since, without a referee, the second person to post can automatically choose the win, it seemed to have become more or less random.

Remembering my days of stumbling aimlessly about here trying to figure out what the flipping 'eck was going on.. may i add a heartfelt YES PLEASE to some kind of breakdown such as this for new people? tangent related note: on the main page, the parenthetical (poetry) (RPd stories) (where the heck do i put this) etc at the end of the hallway descriptors - maybe i'm just incredibly stupid, but those didn't make it through the confusion until i'd been here at least a week.. :-\ is there any reason why the specific parentheticals couldn't be placed by the hallway name, readily visible, with the more extensive description below?

Definitely! with the definitions thing going now, too, this might be useful for some of the newer members to see some of the kids of things that have been done. i'll try to put together a list of Salinye's "life questions" threads too. (makes mental note - not on the dry-wipe board this time)

and exacerbation *almost* fits! "to make more violent, bitter, or severe" - i know *i* get pretty bitter and sometime self-directedly violent when severely blocked.

My mom sent me this one: During my freshman year at East Texas State University in Commerce, I worked nights as a waiter. The following year, wanting my evenings free, I applied for a dormitory maintenance job and was asked, "How are you on punctuality?" "Oh, I'm good at that," I blurted out without thinking. "I'm an English major."

wow... *stutter*

more like "don't forget to stifle vengeful thoughts" but.. yeah, that works too.

**huggles Peredhil** Happy is the first word for a good reason, my friend. Happy Birthday, happy year, and many more

*laughs* ahhhh, i remember this! amazing how SOME people find gold in sleep deprivation,

ahh.. i know this.. problem is, even if they say it.. it's meaningless when you know they don't mean it. *hugs*

i agree, it really depends on your definition of a "powerful life". IMHO, if you live as if you control your destiny you live a more *empowered* life, in that you actively seek solutions and resolutions to the situations you encounter in life. if you live as if control of your life resides elsewhere - in someone else, in "the fates", or wherever, your view of available solutions is far more limited. Someone who feels helpless within their own life can still have powerful impacts on other people and on events within their sphere of influence. what, i think, is diminished by their feelings of helplessness is their *perceived* sphere of influence and *perceived* range of possible actions and reactions. "more powerful" or "more empowered".. i think i'd say probably, yes, to some degree. That you *can* have an effect on someone or something is meaningless if helplessness prevents you from seeing the opportunity or acting upon it. So, there, my rambling opinion, worth every copper you paid for it.

ahh, so true..

well done, and in the comparison a lovely display of your growth as a writer. *hugs*

*nod* it is. made easier, most often, with someone or something OUTside yourself you feel worth the price you pay for leaving. but then, if you felt yourself worth the price, you'd not still be there. *sigh* nicely done. i hope to see much more of your writing.

Ayshela hides under her chair and stifles giggles at the thought of someone wearing muffin and pear in their hair.

i hadn't posted on this simply because finding coherent thoughts has been a remarkable strain of late. However, seeing this sitting here uncommented on disturbs me. i'm honestly not sure, at this point, that i really understand where you're going with this. And yet, there is much that i appreciate about it the third stanza as a whole and in particular. i like this. it's an interesting view of sometimes paradoxical opposites - and yet, sometimes those things are the most real, and the most sensible.

precisely. that subtle lag between seeing, recognizing, and acting or reacting.. also known as the ohno-moment. :-\ i'm generally running about 2-3 hours sleep out of every thirty, so between us we're quite a pair. *hugs* Peredhil gently, before sinking gratefully into protection and desperately needed sleep

mmmmmmm powerful story, dear. well done.

*giggles* ahhhhh.. *sigh* HOW i wish i could reach my conclusions with such concise eloquence.. it has been proven, Wyvern is god.