Ayshela

hah whereas i stayed in the shadows and was largely ignored.. it was better that way.. i like this. nicely done. *hugs*

*hugs* i hope you find out what it is.. and when you do - would you let me know, too?

last line suggestion: with pencil and paper they're drafted ??

*giggle*

*hugs Zariah* breathe.. breathe.. i think we all pretty well know that when people speak of their personal belief systems that they're speaking only for themselves and what *they* believe. i've never seen you casting stones at anyone else for believing differently. you're fine. breathe... *hugs*

*hugs* Zariah

and can't you see how horribly confused conversations would get with *that* kind of misunderstanding of definitions? *g*

*nods* bar the last two lines of the first stanza, i agree wholeheartedly. *hugs*

sometimes it really is that bad, and sometimes it isn't. it's important to learn to tell the difference. :-\

interesting, and very evocative. "unforgiving surrounds" - in the context, it seems as if you mean surroundings?

Ayshela drifts unnoticed through the hallways of the Pen, seeking out the inhabitants wherever they might be wandering. Upon reaching a solitary person, a soft humming sound rumbles through her before she hurtles from the shadows, pouncing the unwary and hugging them senseless before drifting back into the shadows to seek another vic.. er.. resident.. ~*HUGGLES*~ to everyone! Seems it's been a stressful week around here, and i just wanted to remind you all how special you are and how much i appreciate you all. ~Ayshela

Marvelous! for the sake of seeing the growth of the piece it might be better to leave the original intact and simply add the revised version in a later post.. otherwise all the commentary seems a little senseless. The ONLY comment i will add beyond - i love this! - is that the second line is still one "foot" too long. it's not unworkable, but it is noticable in a read-through. That "any" in there just shoves the syllables beyond the pattern you're working with. But - i really, really like this. i'm so glad to see you posting here! Now.. how much rope would i need to KEEP you in this hall? };>

LOL perhaps especially if you don't?

hey, hey, post your edited version... pretty please?

"girls are like telephones. they like to be talked to, and they like to be held." my seventh grade daughter

*hugs* you're fine.. breathe

*laughs* absolutely! any suggestion i give is only ever that - a suggestion. hmm. i thought had enough "perhaps"s and "suggestions" in there to have made that clear.. meh.

Hurrah! Alaeha sets another task! Surely nothing better could we ask. Rhyme and metre, this one i could do. Oh no! Specifics drifted out of view! What was it now, that i'm supposed to write? If i could just get her post back in sight The i would know for sure what i'm to do But as it is i haven't any clue.

but true nonetheless that subtleties in spelling can greatly change the meaning. that the change in this case is shadowy is immaterial, the insight gained is well worthwhile. *hugs*

Aww no, doesn't sound silly at all! Sleep deprivation of necessity involves energy - nervous energy or adrenaline most commonly. When the driving force fails, you collapse, but there's always a current in the "i canNOT sleep" *hugs*

Happy Happy Birthday! Happy Happy Birthday! Happy Happy Birthday!

yyeeeeesssss....... *looks again* *loses all other words* *hugs* you

Fen walked cautiously through the room, admiring the elegant surroundings while instinctively scanning for danger. She’d been running scared for so long that knowing the location of everyone and everything around her was as ingrained as the instant identification of new sounds. This – this could be bad. He was supposed to already be here. Where was he? At least the room was empty, dealing with anyone else right now was beyond her. Where… where… where could he be? And if he didn’t show, where could she go? The door behind her clicked softly. She whirled around, braced to run, and nearly fainted with relief when Shon walked in. “I’m sorry, I was almost to the door when the phone rang and I thought it might have been you –“ He broke off mid-sentence to catch her as she hurled herself across the room. Fen clung to him for long moments as the shuddering terror began to slowly recede. Here, finally, she could believe it would be okay. Held safe by the one who had always protected her, relief was overwhelming. “I’m glad you’re back. Are you okay?” he asked, frowning worriedly. Looking up at him, she said “Out there, alone? No. Here, now, with my best friend by my side? Yes.” Hugging her tightly, he said “You’re always safe with me.” Her face was buried in his shoulder so that he could barely hear her whispered “I know.”

*laughs* courage or stupidity, either one, eh? sometimes they feel like the same thing. personally, i usually give people tacks before i ever give them knives, but that's just me.

*giggles*