This should have been posted AGES ago, God knows it's been ready for at least that long. I didn't, because i was going to post both Peredhil's and Ozy's stories as the same time, and life has collapsed on me mid-writing of Peredhil's, so it's not ready. *sigh*
The companion piece to this will come later. For now - the *extremely* and unforgivably delayed date story for Ozy, whose request was simply "let's go for a walk."
EDIT: and for some reason, the editor is giving me all kinds of hell tonight - deleting text marked to italicize, and refusing to allow me to "add reply" to my own post. I wanted to post the story in shorter pieces, but i've tried that half a dozen times and every time it adds the text to *this* post. So, my apologies to those who dislike lengthy posts - i tried. *sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ayshela slipped her hood down and draped her cloak back over her shoulders. She knocked firmly on Ozymandias’s door. He answered astonishingly quickly, apparently ready to go.
“Do you have any other commitments today?” Ayshela asked as they turned toward the stairs.
“None.” Ozymandias replied. “I am yours for the day. Though I admit I’m curious what you’ve planned.”
“Oh good!” Ayshela said with an impish grin. “Guido had so much fun with Kaitlyn the other day that Nuncio decided he wanted a turn, and I warned them that I’d be quite late getting back. I hoped you wouldn’t mind. As for plans – well, you said you wanted a chance to get acquainted, so I thought the best way to do that would be to remove us both from our responsibilities here for the day…”
By this time they’d reached the entrance and the graceful figure that was clearly waiting for them. “Good morning, are you both ready to go?” she asked.
“Good morning!” Ayshela replied. “Oz, this is Adrinna, my favourite and most trusted transporter. Adrinna, this is Ozymandias, Loremaster here and my companion for the day.” As they exchanged greetings Ayshela asked Adrinna, “You remember where we’re going, right?”
“Of course,” Adrinna smiled. “One soft landing coming up as soon as you’re ready.”
Ayshela looked at Ozymandias, and at his nod she tucked her hand under his arm and said “Ready.” Adrinna murmured nearly inaudibly as she wove figures in the air with graceful motions. With a sudden wave of both hands the Keep disappeared in a mind-wrenching swirl of light and colour. When it cleared they stood on the sandy beach of a large lake.
Ozymandias noticed the wooded hills behind them when Adrinna said, “Well, there you go. I’ll see you this evening!” and vanished down one of the trails with a cheery wave. He looked around at the pleasant surroundings, then turned a questioning look on Ayshela.
“Well, you see,” she said. “I thought the only way we’d really get to TALK is if we got away from all our demands and distractions for a while. And what could be more restful and conducive to getting acquainted than a walk in safe surroundings? I hope you don’t mind?”
“Not at all,” Ozymandias said with a smile. “Though I trust you know where we are, and how to get back?”
Ayshela laughed gently. “Oh, no worries about that, for three reasons. Adrinna won’t abandon us here. She’ll meet us this evening as arranged and I can call her earlier if needed. Even if something did happen to her, though, I DO know exactly where we are and where the nearest town is from here, so we’re not stranded by any means. And finally,” she said as she rummaged in her pack. She took a chain from a small pouch. Suspended from it was a silver filigree pendant in a stylized yin-yang which encased a fluid blue gem. “This is for you. Should anything happen and you need to return to the Keep immediately just break the ‘gem’ and the gate potion will return you to the courtyard.”
Ayshela reached up and slipped the chain over Ozymandias’ head, smiling at the muffled sound as the gem settled against his chest. Turning to walk along the shoreline she said, “I’ve always envied those who could wear robes. They don’t suit me at all, but you could wear a full suit of plate armour under a robe and no one would either know or care. It’s incredibly hard to find a tailor or seamstress who can make clothes look good AND hide armour.”
Ozymandias watched closely as Ayshela stretched in relief at being free for the day. “It’s nicely done. I’ve seen you often since you arrived and never noticed. I doubt I would have now if you hadn’t mentioned it.”
Ayshela smiled thoughtfully. “Since I arrived. It seems such a long time ago!”
Ozymandias nodded, and Ayshela wasn’t sure if she’d seen a hint of laughter or not. “I remember,” he mused, “your unusual entrance in the Cabaret. Usually people either sit quietly and make their wish for privacy clear, or they come in more loudly, inviting people’s notice. I’ve never seen anyone else so calculatedly do BOTH.” After a moment’s thought Ayshela smiled and said “Oh yes, I remember that! I’d been on the road for so long at that point, so much of it spent dodging people, that even the possibility of finding safe haven – much as I hoped that I had – seemed too good to be true.”
“And,” Ozymandias said, “That may have been what I recognized. Safety seemed a taunting illusion to me, when we all fought free of Terra and established ourselves here.” He seemed lost in thought for a moment, then continued as if talking to himself. “Sometimes,” he murmured, “it still does.” Ayshela gave a sad smile of wordless comfort and they walked on in companionable silence, skipping rocks across the placid water.
Lunchtime found them spreading a blanket on the sand and taking sandwiches, fruits, vegetables, and a thermos of coffee from Ayshela’s large pack. As they ate, Ozymandias asked, “You’ve taken Kaitlyn in unhesitatingly, as if she had no one else. Don’t you have any other family?”
“NO.” Ayshela replied immediately, coldly. Ozymandias watched her stare into space briefly before tensions faded and she sighed. “I do have blood relatives, but none I claim as family. They rejected me, willing to believe lies instead of me, instead of what they knew of me. The only one who believed me was my sister, Kaitlyn’s mother. Kaitlyn was away from home when her village was attacked. She was the only survivor. I took her because I don’t want her in the hands of those who willingly believe the worst. She’s a darling girl and I want her to be able to grow up in this kind of environment, loved and accepted not weighed and judged. She deserves better than she’d get from my mother.”
“I see,” Ozymandias said slowly. “You’ve rarely mentioned family, and I sometimes wondered why. It seemed as if you were an only child whose parents had died, until Kaitlyn came.”
“I’d be better off were that the case,” Ayshela laughed. “And for all we have to do with each other, that’s more true than not. They don’t want what they think I am and don’t care to get to know who I REALLY am, and I don’t choose to deal with closed minds.”
Ayshela began packing the remains of their lunch while Ozymandias thought about that. “My family is all dead. Yours are not, but could as well be. Which do you think is easier to deal with?”
Ayshela stopped, startled by the thought. “I don’t know,” she said. “When they’re actually dead, you can grieve and move on, without sudden messages or reappearances to throw you off balance again.” Ozymandias flinched almost imperceptibly. “But when they’re still alive,” she continued, “there remains hope, however faint, that circumstances might change. Which is better? To live with thoughts of might-have-been, or thoughts of what could be – should be – but isn’t? I don’t know.”
She finished packing, slung her pack over her shoulder and picked up her case. Leading the way toward a trail through the woods she looked up and said, “You never talk about your family at all. Is it a painful topic you prefer to avoid?”
Ozymandias stopped for a moment, staring into middle distance. Returning slowly, expressionlessly, he said, “I don’t think about it. Except for being haunted by the death of my son, I do not think about my family.”
Ayshela looked up at him curiously, hesitated, then asked, “haunted?”
“Yes.” Ozymandias replied, and began walking up the trail. “I cannot escape it. His death, and the deaths of so many others, is my responsibility.”
“Are you SURE of that?” Ayshela asked.
Ozymandias gave a wry smile and assured her, “Quite sure. I was warned that it would happen, and persisted anyway. Their deaths are on my head. And on my conscience.”
Seeing Ayshela’s bewildered expression, he explained. “I suppose,” he said, “In retrospect, I should have realized something unusual was happening when the Israelites as a whole elected a leader to come speak to me on their behalf. Yet, as Pharaoh, I’d had so many come to plead or demand that it seemed nothing out of the ordinary at first.
“Moses and Aaron came to demand that I free all their people, turning Moses’ walking stick into a snake as a show of power to enforce the demand. I refused, partly out of pride and partly out of concern for the destruction of our economy. Their ‘show of power’ I dismissed, since my own magicians and wise men could do the same.
“Following my refusal, I was told that plagues upon my people would follow until I released the Israelites. First the Nile was turned to blood. Then frogs swarmed from the Nile and covered my land. I still refused, thinking Aaron no more than Moses’ magician, since my own could do the same.
“Then Aaron turned the dust of the land to gnats, and after we were rid of them all my lands were infested by flies - while the Israelites remained untroubled. I became concerned when my wise men could not duplicate the feat, but concern became anger and I still refused.
“Next, all the livestock belonging to my people died. Then all my people were afflicted with boils and open sores and no one could attend their duties. My wise men would not even come to me, but Moses and Aaron did, and I was furious at seeing them untouched. They warned me to keep all my people inside or they would be killed by hailstones. I sent the warning, and watched as all our crops were destroyed.
“Moses and Aaron returned and demanded again the release of their people, but I could not let them all go. With no crops, no livestock, and no workers, my country would collapse in economic ruin. I offered to let the men go to worship their God, but keep the women and children as workers. They refused, and I refused.
“Our utter economic ruin was assured when everything the hail had not destroyed was eaten by a swarm of locusts that, as always, left the Israelites and their land untouched.
“Then darkness fell, and for three days the only light to be seen shone on the Israelites. I offered Moses the release of all his people if they would leave their animals behind. He refused, and in my fury I ordered him out and told him I never wanted to see him again.”
Ozymandias stopped speaking, walking almost blindly for several moments. When he spoke again his voice was quieter, and he stiffened a bit as if to brace himself to continue. “Before he left,” he said, “Moses warned me one last time. As he had promised, the first born of all my people, from my son to the child of the lowliest slave woman, all died. My own rage and grief were soon drowned out by the shrieks and wails of all my people as they discovered their dead.
“I summoned Moses and told him to take his people and leave. As the Israelites gathered their belongings, they gathered also much of the wealth of my people and took it with them. This fanned my smouldering rage, and in fury and despair at the destruction of my country, afraid of completely losing the faith of my people, I gathered my troops and pursued the Israelites.”
Ozymandias stopped speaking again for a moment, lost in thought or memory, then continued. “I stopped short of the Red Sea, but I saw the water part to allow the Israelites to escape. My men pursued them relentlessly, only to die as the sea crashed back together.”
“I see,” murmured Ayshela. “It must have been horrible, especially after your son’s death, to watch your troops die to a man.”
With a wry smile, Ozymandias said, “It was. Horror for my troops, despair for my people, terror as I came to understand that I had angered a God more powerful than those I had believed in, and blind panic at the tangible proof of powers I did not understand and could not control – I felt all that and more.
“I was supposed to be the shining light, not only leader of my people but the bright hope of all Egypt. Realizing I had stubbornly led them into death and ruin, my people were… quite upset with me.
“I fled, narrowly escaping assassination, and by the will of the Gods, I landed in Terra.”
“What did you do there?” Ayshela asked.
“Fought.” Ozymandias answered, shortly. Ayshela missed a step, but only looked at him in puzzled confusion. “Terra was a land of Mage wars. It took some time to learn the ways of the land, and the skills I would need, but once I did I began to build a kingdom there and the troops to keep it.”
With a short laugh, he said “I first suspected I was going mad when I realized I was looking forward to following my troops into battle so that this time I could die WITH them, instead of leaving them. And we died, over and over and over again. It pleased the gods of the Underworld there to take us in and send us back. Every time we died in battle, we were sent back to fight and die again. I realized I was looking forward to it, so I drank to numb the seeds of madness. That continued, even after it was made possible for me to come to the Pen Keep.
“But here,” he continued slowly, “I have another chance. I can learn to do what I did not before. I can be both leader and caretaker. I can do here what I did not before – take care of each person as well as the people as a whole.” He fell silent again, and they walked on, each lost in their own thoughts.
After clearing dinner away, Ayshela and Ozymandias sat on the hilltop overlooking the lake and watched the sun drift toward the horizon. The sky slowly began to colour, and Ayshela finally unpacked the case she had been carrying all day. She unpacked a collapsible easel and set it up. Putting a thin but sturdy board in place, she fastened a large sheet of paper to it. She unpacked her chalk pastels, smudgers, and a damp rag from its sealed container, and with a sigh of contentment she began to sketch the lake view.
Ozymandias watched for a while, then asked, “You seemed quite pleased at my winning bid. May I ask why?”
“Oh!” Ayshela replied in surprise. “Of course. You’re one of two here at the Keep who could ask anything you wanted and reasonably expect an answer.” At his questioning look she continued, “You and Peredhil. You both look after everyone, so anything you did ask would have a point. To answer THIS question, though – I WAS pleased. While I’ve had little enough time around you, I’ve liked what I’ve seen and was looking for an excuse to spend some time with you and get to know you better. We’re both kept so busy that I hadn’t been able to think of a good reason to monopolize your time.” With a broad smile she concluded, “And you saved me the time and trouble!”
Ozymandias smiled, though he still looked a bit puzzled. “I see,” he said. “Was there something you had wanted to talk about, or ask, that you preferred not to discuss at the Keep?”
Ayshela sat quietly, smudging a few blended colours on the paper. She took the rag and wiped her hands, then as she applied the fixative and began packing things up again she said, “Yes, there was, though in a way it seems a shame to spoil a pleasant day with such questions.” In answer to his questioning look, she said, “I notice people, especially watchful people. For quite a while after I arrived it seemed that I was watching you watching me.” Turning to fully face him, she asked, “Do you consider me a threat, or a danger?”
“No.” Ozymandias replied. “I watched you, yes, as I do any new arrival. I watched especially closely when you were followed here, to determine if those who were a danger to you were dangerous to others here. It was evident that they were interested only in you, and that you dealt with them swiftly and effectively. From that point I had no further concern.”
“Good,” Ayshela said with a smile of relief. “I would move on immediately, did my being here endanger anyone else. I would rather not, though. Safe haven is hard enough to find once. I’d hate to have to try my luck for twice.”
She finished packing the easel, rolled the picture carefully and slid it into a cardboard tube, then tucked it into the top of her case. With blanket spread across the grass, they lay back and watched the stars come out.
Ozymandias raised himself on one elbow and looked over at Ayshela. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so relaxed,” he commented.
‘Probably not,” she replied. “It’s hard to really relax with people milling about and things to do, and there’s never any lack of things to do.”
“Quite true,” he agreed. After a moment’s pause, he asked, “What do you want here?”
“Ayshela sat up and turned to face him. “I don’t understand,” she said.
“What are your goals?” he asked. “What do you want to do with your life?”
“Oh!” Ayshela exclaimed. She took a deep breath and thought for a moment. “To ensure that those who betrayed me cannot do so to anyone else. To train Kaitlyn. To improve my own skills.” She laughed, then continued, “To keep at least one step ahead of Kaitlyn so that I CAN continue to train her. To be of as much help about the Keep as possible.”
Ozymandias listened and nodded. “And once that’s done, then what?” he persisted. Ayshela simply looked at him. “Children grow,” he said, “and mortals die.” Catching an odd look flitting across her face, he said, “Don’t look at me like that! By now, I no longer know if I’m one thing or the other.” Ayshela nodded, and he continued. “Children grow, and mortals die. If you see your goals reached within your lifetime, what then? What will you do?”
Ayshela shook her head. “I won’t,” she replied. “Part of all I intend to do involves skill building and learning. I can ALWAYS improve, and there is ALWAYS something more to learn. When I stop learning, I’ll be dead. Kaitlyn may be grown and gone, traitors may be long since dead, but there will still be new things to learn, unseen avenues to explore.”
Ozymandias met her eyes and smiled appreciatively. After a long moment he said, “I hope you do so here with us.”
Ayshela opened her mouth to respond, but just then Adrinna strode over the hilltop calling, “Hah! There you are! Ready to head back?” Ayshela laughed and called back, “Impeccable timing, as always! Yes, we are,” and they gathered their things and went to meet her.
They left Adrinna at the entrance to the Keep, with thanks for her help. As they turned to go back to their rooms Ozymandias said, “You’ve been carrying that case all day. May I take it for you?”
“Thank you, that would be nice,” Ayshela said gratefully, stretching her arms.
As they neared Ayshela’s room Ozymandias said, “Thank you for a very pleasant and relaxing day. I quite enjoyed it.”
“I’m glad,” Ayshela said. “I did too. Oh! I almost forgot, I have something for you.” Standing in front of her door she took her case and opened it. She took the tube from the top, then set the case on the floor. “Should you need a moment’s pause in your day, perhaps this will remind you of a less hectic, more relaxing time,” she said as she handed him the tube containing her sketch. She hugged him as tightly as their armours would allow, saying, “Thank YOU, I’ve had a lovely day.”
Ozymandias was quite glad that she couldn’t see his blush, which he barely managed to control before she released him and turned to pick up her case. “And now,” she laughed, “I’d best go see whether Nuncio wore Kaitlyn out or the other way around.” With a smile, she said, “Good night,” and slipped through the doorway, leaving a bemused Ozymandias to return to his own demands.
