DoctorEvil

Don't be fancy....just get dancy!!!!!

It's far deeper than just that. Think about it.....as we are raised from childhood, we have birthdays. Our special days. And we celebrate them with cake and ice cream. We have Halloween, where we get to dress up and become someone else for an evening and we get candy. All throughout childhood, we often get "treats" for doing "good". So, in many cases our sense of self esteem, or sense of self worth can be tied to food. When you're sad and not feeling good about yourself as an adult, doesn't a little "treat" make you feel a little better? Maybe a little cake and ice cream make you feel "special" or a little candy lets you pretend you're someone else. Or maybe you just want that feeling of being "good" you had as a child. For the Doctor it's a case of .....if one freshly baked chocolate chip cookie makes the Doctor feel "good"....then eating a dozen in one sitting means the Doctor is "great" Some people develop an emotional relationship. Food may not be part of the solution, it's not quite that simple.

* Do something each day that scares someone * Keep monologing to a minimum * Being paranoid is a good thing * Occassionaly smell yourself to make sure you don't smell bad * Beware of Wild Cows

The Doctor thought you retired P !!!! You must be like Mork from Ork, and you must age backwards. Please tell the Doctor you didn't look like Johnathon Winters when you were a baby Nanoo, Nanoo to you!

The Doctor thought MySpace was only for kids

Ah, the Doctor has always been an avid read since the days of the Doctor's youth, all those hundreds of years ago. The Doctor has a very complex system of rating books....they're either good or they're bad. And of course they can be easy reads (books you can't put down and spend every spare minute reading) or hard reads (books that are still good, but require a pause from time to time to digest what has happened and what has been written). So with that in mind, here are the Doctor's suggestions.... Glen Cook - Mr. Cook has two series that rank among the Doctor's All-Time Favorites....the Black Company series and the Garrett P.I. series, both good easy reads. The Black Company series is approximately 10 books and follows the exploits of a mercenary company. The first three books of the series are the best, but you'll be hooked after reading them and want more. The Garrett P.I. series is a whimiscal romp through the world of mudane human detective in a distinctly fantasy metropolis. Mr. Cook also has two other series which are good hard reads. The Dread Empire series starts slow but ends strong as you follow the world chaning adventures of a group consisting of the most powerful mage on the planet, a fat smooth talking con-man, a mercenary commander and a revolutionary insurgent. The other series is the Instramentalities of the Night series, the first book in the series is excellent, although the complexity of the political situation being described makes your head spin at first. Robin Hobb - Several very good series. The Assassin series and the follow-up Fool's series are great easy reads as you follow the life of a bastard son to the throne and how he ends up as a King's Assassin. The Liveships series, set in the same world as the previous series, explores a distant merchant city and the secret of their Liveships (sentient ships that can talk). Hard good read, but worth it. The latest series is the Soldier Son series....two books out so far, but both are excellent. Naomi Novik - She has written four books in the Temeraire series. Set during the Napoleonic Wars in Europe, the book has a fun twist....dragons, although rare, exist and are trained and used as a air support in the war. Temeraire is a young rare Oriental dragon that falls into the hands of a British ship captain. Not and easy read, but not a hard one either. Michael Stackpole -Mr. Stackpole has a terribly under-rated series called the Dragoncrown War Saga (Fortress Draconis, When Dragons Rage, and The Grand Crusadem as well as a prequel The Dark Glory War), The Doctor can't even explain this book , other than it keeps you on your toes with all the plots twists and surprise.....just when you think you have it figured out....boom, something else happens. Most of these books were done in about 24 hours each. Thieve's World - An anthology series with some of the best fantasy authors in the business. 12 books in the series, in which the authors write about the happens in a shared universe setting of Sanctuary. Great editing from Robert Asprin keeps the whole thing alive and moving along. Steven Brust Almost forgot Mr. Brust's Vlad Taltos series. The adventures of a human assasin in a magical empire. Excellent easy reads.

Bah!!!! The Doctor sees the Pennites are still continuing with the oppressing and humilating rite of annual Weenie Awards as a means to oppress those who refuse to conform!!!!! Bah!!!!! Bah!!!!! (That's a double Bah!!!!) Workers of the Pen UNITE!!!! Throw of your shackles and embrace your Weenies....the Awards that is.....Strike a blow against elitism and conformity and do not "buy off" your Weenie Award. Wear it as a badge of honor! ...oops.....Baby Evil's bed time....more Evil Ranting later........

The Doctor is a huge fan of comic book movies and the Doctor was hugely disappointed with Spider-Man 3. The Doctor agrees with Merelas' assessment...the plot and dialogue were the weakest part of the movie. The Doctor believes this movie was made purely to produce more action figures and promotional tie-ins. Saw Children of Men on pay per view this weekend.....LOVED IT!

LOL.....of course the Doctor has loads of rules that the Doctor lives by, such as.... * Two small children can do twice the amount of property damage of anything else that an evil genius can think of * Always be nice and polite to your enemies....it lulls them into a false sense of security * Loot first, THEN burn & pillage........ * Take one day at a time....unless they all attack at once. * To make sure you hit your target, shoot first then call whatever you hit your target * When you walk in, always assume that you're the stupidest person in the room. That way you'll feel really good about yourself when you realize everyone else is REALLY mcuh dumber than you thought. * When creating a Zombie army....never reanimate your mother-in-law. * Never do something today that you can put off until tomorrow * An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you * Start everyday with a smile....then get over it!

Bah.........

...rather have a sword... LOL....the Doctor has often said this....

Ahhh.....Weenie Primus...... See, there is a revolution going on in the Pen.....A Weenie Revolution. We should stand up and demand our own forum where we can be allowed not to partcipate

Bah....the erased post was such a good one....let's try again..... The second and primary reason the Doctor responded to this post was based on the Doctor personal feelings about the Pen. For a very long time the Doctor has questioned why the Doctor is a member of the Pen and why does the Doctor keeps coming here. The answer to the first question is pretty simple, originally the Doctor followed the Doctor's favorite enemy here (and Zool & Jechum). Someone got the bright idea of actually making the Doctor a member and giving the Doctor a title. The Doctor was never very comfortable with this idea. The Doctor really never wanted to be a member, it was more of a gift. Certainly it was a gift the Doctor respected and did not turn away, but the Doctor never felt it was earned. It was primarily based on the Doctor's old humorous posts in the Archmage forums. The truth is the Doctor contributes little to these forums and reads very few posts these days. Based on this, the Doctor has never really felt like a member of the Pen, and has felt more like an outsider. That makes responding to the second question far more difficult, since what right does an outsider have to criticize? "Why does the Doctor keeps coming here?".....especially if the Doctor feels like an outsider? Simply....Friends. The Doctor has made a number of them here and even though we don't talk often, the Doctor sometimes stops by the Pen to see who's been around. That being said, the Doctor is very uncomfortable in the Pen. From the Doctor's point of view, it has a very elitest feel to it, almost like it's just a club for the "cool kids". Sometimes the Doctor just gets the feeling that if you're not good at writing creative fiction, poetry, roleplaying, etc....then there really is no place for you in the Pen. The Doctor started getting this feeling with the introduction of the Weenie Award. To the Doctor it felt like a way of saying "partcipate or you are a loser". The Doctor quickly rejected that notion of forced partcipation and began wearing the Weenie Award as a Scarlet Letter of Courage While the Doctor understands that the concept is to get a count of active members, it almost evolves into a game to see who can be more creative than the next person. While that's fun for those who partcipate, it can be overwhelming and intimidating to others. Next comes a ranking system, where people strive to climb the ladder of titles. Posting in this environment can be very intimidating for those who don't feel they meet the "standard" of the Pen. For those with obvious talent, the Pen can be a very fun and supportive place. For those with little talent, but possibly an enjoyment of writing or trying to be creative, this can be a very scary place. That's what gets the Doctor about this place. People carry on that it's "All about the writing", when the truth is that this place is really "All about the people". ****** Editors note: Yeah, the erased post was a lot better than this one....it would have made you laugh...it would have made you cry....definitely Emmy contender

ARGGHHHH!!! Just spent 20 minutes writing part two and the damn system erases the post!!1

Understandable points. One of the reasons the Doctor responded to this post was due to responses by the Pen members. By DoctorEvil standards, the Pennites response to the post were rather tame In the Doctor's heyday, the Doctor would have responded with a far greater degree of sarcasism! The Doctor has not been known to have a high tolerance for stupidity and bad grammar (bad spelling is OK sometimes though). With the exception of one or two comments,the responses were certainly acceptable. Personally the Doctor thought Katzaniel's point by point response was a fairly effective response as it answered the silly questions yet made it clear what the opinion of the post was. The fact that the original poster has not responded means that the troll tag was probably approriate But occassionally, the Doctor gets these briefs flashs of....empathy, sympathy...call it what you like and the Doctor tries look at things from someone elses point of view. In this case, the Doctor tried to put the Doctor's self in the original posters POV and imagine how they might feel. From that standpoint, this place appears to be a fairly unfriendly. Which really gets into the Doctor's second and main reason for responding to this post.......which the Doctor will elaborate on after dinner

Tsk, tsk, tsk........Is this how Pennites treat guests? With sarcastic semi-rudeness and grammar correction? This may have been a long time lurker finally coming out and trying to express themselves and contribute to the community, but instead is met with a message that says "Go away!". Did the poster pick the approriate method or message in their attempt to contribute? No, the Doctor agrees on that point. Could it have been addressed differently? Hmm.....makes the old Doctor wonder. The last time the Doctor checked the message on this forum said "Here one can have a drink and idly chitchat with a friend. (Where do I put this?) " Guess not! This is a writing site? Hmmmm.....really.....here the Doctor thought this place was more about providing a safe place were people can express themselves, often through writing or poetry. The Doctor guess that changed when people started being labeled as "Weenies" if they didn't conform to the "requirements". Was that the point in time when the Pen became exclusive instead on inclusive? The Doctor guesses if you're not actively trying to get yourself published then you have no place here. Is that what the Pen is now? If this post comes across as angry, the Doctor apoligizes. The Doctor waited several days before replying to gather the Doctor's meager thoughts. The idea of "What is the purpose of the Pen" is one that the Doctor has discussed with a couple of members at various times over the last year. The question of "Why is DoctorEvil even a member of the Pen" is one the Doctor has asked the Doctor too. The Doctor certainly isn't a "writer".....although Zool will disagree with this statement as he knows the Doctor's dark secret The Doctor hardly contributes, and the Doctor's membership is largely based on old humorous Archmage postings. So why is the Doctor questioning these things? Well, the Doctor has often heard Pennites say "It's all about the writing".....but is it ONLY about the writing? It seems to the Doctor that self-expression can take different forms. Is giving your a opinion of a movie a form of self express or of writing? The Doctor says yes. Trying to give a good movie review that is consise and states your opinion effectively is a difficult writing task (one which the Doctor still needs practice on). Is it a writing exercise that should be looked down on in favor of fiction or poetry? This argument could carry-over to other forms of self-expression...such as political discussions. So now the Doctor really wonders.....is it just about writing? Does self-express in any format matter?

The Doctor will dispense the Doctor's limited wisdom later this evening when the Doctor has more time. It's a good thing the Doctor checked into today and saw young Falcon's ordeal! If there are two things the Doctor has lots of evil experience in it's Jobs and Women. OK....the Doctor will take a few minutes right now and throw some thoughts out. First and foremost.....everything is about appearances. It doesn't matter what the reality of the situation, the people in power (bosses and women...and don't even get the Doctor start about women bosses....) will shape their opinion of you based on their perception of you. Perception is reality...althought it's really NOT! It took the Doctor several years of frustration and heartache before the Doctor embraced this concept and used it to the Doctor's advantage. More of this concept later this evening, but for right now , go rent HITCH the movie starring Will Smith. Excellent illustrations of the "perception is reality" rule and how to use it correctly when dealing with women. Secondly, women are evil. Oh, there are some not evil ones laying around, but those aren't the one you're interested in. The corrollary to "women are only attracted to jerks and pass over all the nice guys" theory is "nice guys are only interested in evil, unattainable women and ignore the good ones". It's like the McDonald's commercial. Most nice guys totally don't get it. More on this later this evening also. And lastly....well not really lastly, there will be more later.....the only person that can prevent forest fires is YOU! What the Doctor means, is that until you make the decision to change what you're doing, nothing in your life will change. Sounds simple. It's really not. We're talking about fundamentally shifting the way you view the world and take actions to correct the things you dislike about your life. Nobody here can do it for you....althought we certainly will try More later.....

Ah, the Doctor purchased and watched Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (The Uncut, Unrated and Uncalled for version) last night. Now, going into this movie the Doctor was a bit skeptical, as the Doctor didn't know if it was going to be that funny. Alas, the Doctor should have faith in Will Ferrell, as the Doctor couldn't stop laughing at several of the scenes.....not necessarily because they were funny, but because they were so stupid and over the top that it was in fact funny to the Doctor. The Doctor highly recommends this movie to anyone with a warped sense of humor

Saw "The 40 Year Old Virgin" tonight. Very good movie. Could have been a great movie, but it just seemed to drag a little bit in the middle and near the end. The Doctor did have one little issue with the movies technical details. If you're going make a movie about a 40 year old nerd and make the effort to get the correct detail of getting vintage action figures (70's era Iron Man and Aquaman figures like the Doctor had as a kid, a Six Million Dollar Man figure, etc...) do get the other nerd details wrong. For God's sake, they had a copy of Marvel Tales that came out last year framed and hanging on his apartment wall. No self respecting nerd would go to the trouble to frame that comic.

The Doctor watched "Sin City" tonight on DVD and all-in-all the Doctor liked it. While it's been years since the Doctor read the comic book, the "feel" of this movies stays very true to the comics. As far as the movie being "a series of escalating acts of gratuitous violence" doesn't that describe most good mindless action flicks Heck, that's what the Doctor liked the most. Actually, the thing that surprised the Doctor was Mickey Rourke's performance as Marv. The Doctor has long considerd Mickey one of the worst actors ever, but the Doctor was shocked to see him actually pull off this role. Yes, most of the role consisted on little acting and lots of action. But the Doctor found the narrative dialogue that shed some light on Marv's character very interesting. On the surface Marv seems like the simplest and least detailed on the characters, but via the narrative dialogue the Doctor found him to be the character with the most depth a man tettering on the brink of sanity, violence and determination. No this movie is not for everyone, but the Doctor like it.

<GASP!!!!>.......Did Doctor hear this correctly? Wyvern, you're jaded with the western genre??? Oh could this have happened? The Doctor is a big fan of Westerns. Sure the same half dozen or so plots get recycled over and over and over.....but there is just something about the Western. Now the Doctor will grant you, that today's filmakers seems basically incapable of making a decent Western (with a few exceptions), but the classics still hold up well. Heck, anything with John Wayne and a cowboy hat in it and you can count the Doctor in.....perhaps the Doctor should rephrase that to read any FILM with John Wayne and a cowboy hat in it....... Some of the Doctor's favorites...... BIG JAKE - John Wayne as a turn of the century cowboy who must return to home to his estranged family to help rescue the grandson he's never met. John Wayne kicks butt and takes names. One of the Doctor's all time favorites. SILVERADO - Lately, the Doctor keeps seeing this on cable and ends up getting sucked into watching good portions of the movie. Last weekend even Mrs. DoctorEvil got sucked in. Classic Western plot that's well done by Mrs. Kasdan (of Big Chill fame) with an all-star cast. One of the few modern Westerns worth a damn. UNFORGIVEN - Clint Eastwoods stars and directs. Morgan Freeman in a great supporting role. Gene Hackman as the perfect bad guy. Great characters, and some great dialogue. The best Western in the last 20 years. THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN - The Doctor will grant you that Kurosawa's "Seven Samurai" is actually a better movie, but this Western adaption is damn good. Any Clint Eastwood/Sergio Leone western - Classics that still hold up well today. The Doctor still sits on the edge of the Doctor's seat when watching the ending of "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly".

Oh this one is easy The Doctor can sum it up in one word.....well, THE is technically a word, but the Doctor isn't counting it as one for purposes of this exercise...... THE ANTI_PEREDHIL The Doctor is the polar opposite of everything Peredhil. For example, the Doctor hates being hugged, much less giving hugs. It's a repulsive habit, keep your germs away from the Doctor. Peredhil hugs everything that moves. Oh....and the Doctor hates sharing.....be it real world physical items or more ephemeral items like thoughts, hopes, dreams,e tc.....Peredhil shares everything. Go ahead, ask him you can borrow something...... Peredhil is bright and shiny and optimistic. The Doctor is dark and dreary and pessimistic. Peredhil treats everyone with love and respect. The Doctor hates everyone. Sure the Doctor could have used all ten words for mega-manically, warmongering, egocentric, brillant, self-serving, despotic, malevolent, girl scout cookie stealing, fluffy, genius......but anti-P works better

The Doctor really like "Garden State". Saw it in the theather.....very interesting story..... Rented "Napoleon Dynamite". Maybe the Doctor is just getting old, but the Doctor did NOT get why people rave about how funny this movie is.......

Saw the "Fantastic Four" yesterday. It was OK. The problem is the Doctor is a big comic book fan and has very high expectations for comic book movies. So the Doctor is overly critical of movies that use too much dramatic license to alter the original to fit on to the big screen. F4 uses to much creative license in the alteration of the origin story, and the portrayal of Doctor Doom. Add to that a story that quite honestly would not even make a good comic book, and you get just an OK movie. The strength of the movie is the special effects as well as the performances of the actors playing the Human Torch and the Thing (both actors hit the characters dead on). Also saw "Hitch" on DVD last night. That was a really good movie. Actually it surprised the Doctor, because the expectation was to just get a good movie. The story was quite funny and the performance of Will Smith and Kevin James were great. The Doctor highly recommends this one if you're in the mood for a good romatic comedy.

Bah!!!!! Love is Evil backwards.....without the "I" of course