Ozymandias

Ha...it's funny when people are "nekkid." It's classic. "Buck nekkid" is even more funny. Decimator Wielder of the Ukulele of Doom Pursuer of Amazonian women

Seeing Ozy lying down with not a thought in his head Orlan leaps over, attempting to wade though the ensuing chaos. "Medic!! I need a Medic!!" Orlan cries out. Leaning over to look unto Ozy he hears the reply. "What the heck is a Medic?!?" replies someone. "Uh...Alrighty then I need three women preferrably nekkid!" "How will that help the fallen Mage?" "Oh Ozy?" Orlan asks. "He's always like this, comes with the drinking. The three ladies are for me...Ah there they are!" Orlan strolls off with the women leaving Ozy lying on the ground in his own juices. ------------------ Orlan, Sexy Sexy Man Member of the Tribe S1 Lounge Lizard of Terra Soran Member of AoA Lover of Women Ruler of the Liar of Devils

Originally posted by Sidius: pardon my most, how might i say, 'untimable' intrusion (untimable??? ) i was wondering. "Invasion of the Grapes"? fill me in. (please? ) "Untimely". Certainly. Just go alllll the way back to the very begining of this thread. That's *THE* beginning. Now, back to our show... In a gleaming moment of fuzzed inspiration, as only a rum, vodka, tequila, jack, and Kool-Aid flask can grant, Ozymandias shouts, "AHA! I've got it! These things keep teleporting in and out. WHERE ARE THEY GOING???" Conjuring excitedly, a German Shepherd (4-legged variety) appears next to him. Ozymandias says to it with the utmost unslurred gravity,"Follow these teleport spells. Find who's doing them." It woofs once. Ozymandias grins and hands it a pork chop. "Good boy!" The Shepherd wolfs down the chop and begins sniffing the air. With a nonchalant leap ninety feet to the floor, it is off like a shot out the door. Looking down, he sees the tide has actually turned. With most of the chips and grapes crushed and or otherwise abused, even the small number of dedicated gourmets, drunks, and Tzimfemme devotees who stayed behind to defend their beloved hall are making short work of the rest with the aid of the Mind Rippers, Hell Hounds, and the two Hydras that are still standing. "Ha! Nothing can stop us now!!" In mid grand pose striking (no mean feat when you're standing on a chandelier that a dog has just peed on) he notices a pack of chips seemingly bent on bouncing poor Deirdre into submission advancing. Directly underneath him. Putting a finger to the rope holding the chandelier up, he fires off one last firebolt. The rope snaps in two, and Ozymandias and light fixture plummet. With a theatrical sneer, he growls, "Who wants some?" He never gets his answer, though, as all the chips are crushed beneath him and the impact knocks him unconcious. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Ozymandias winced in sympathy. "Well, at least it wasn't a giant wet dog", he mumbled to himself. "Then you'd get crushed to death and smell really bad while doing it." On his chandelier perch high above the action, he finds himself once again almost out of ideas, mana, and candles to lob at any grocery that looked at him a little *too* inquisitvely. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

when Deirdre the cat remembers she has a special feature she has long forgotten about. Suddenly Deirdre balloons in size and becomes a huge gigantic cat. She starts stomping on the grapes and chips and manages to squash most of them. After a while,she gets too tired to even continue and falls on poor Arkyn,thus squashing him.

Suddenly Gyrfalcon announced "times up!" and dove behind a table to take cover. Suddenly, the Flying Raisins started attacking again, and the Acidic Seeds began to spew acid. Exhausted mages were unprepared for the sudden and vicious assault, and all looked doomed when... OOC: remember, I cast Sunray on some of the Flying Grapes, making them Flying Raisins, so that is where they came from.

The Great Mage Mestro, Within His Cloud-Shrouded Fortress, Looks into his Everlasting Mirror-that-has-become-stuck-on-the-scene-of-the-tarvern and exclaims... "Hey!! Someone froze the chips!" Mestro The Great Mage, begins to teleport the frozen Chips into the Unique item, Microwave. Mestro uses item, Mestro's Brain. You have Used Item Mestro's Brain. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the tavern, whilst all the mage are taking a well deserved break, the Frozen Chips and Grapes disappear from the floor, leaving only those still appearing from the portals and the seeds which Mestro, having used up his brain, couldn't find a use for, laying on the floor. Statis Field Life - 4.30 minutes ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH...

"Hmmm... maybe this will work," Gyrfalcon muttered, and with that cast the verdent spell Sunray. Instantly, all the grapes shrivled into raisins and continued their attacks. "forget this!" Gyrfalcon shouted, and cast a Statis Field on the Grapes, Seeds and Chips. exhausted mages slumped in relief, or headed to the bar for a quick drink. Gyrfalcon quickly cast healing spells on all the passed out and totally mana exhausted mages to give them a chance to run away one the Field wore off. Gyrfalcon then looked down at a stange device on his wrist, then looked up and said "10 minutes until the fields wear off people. You might want to get ready..."

Amdist the giagantic mass of grapes where Ozymandias once stood, his face suddenly appears! Shooting a dirty look at Gyrfalcon, he complains, "You couldn't do the GRAPES, too, now could you?? NOOOOOOooooooo.", and with a shriek, continues getting mauled and eaten in tiny helpings. **OOC-Gyrflacon-Nice move! Decimator-Thanks!!! I was beginning to think I was alone in plot threading-back-together.** ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Deirdre the cat casts a Healing spell on herself in a bid to heal her wounds. Unfortunately,the fight has left her exhausted without any mana and her attempt at spellcasting fails. She faints and falls to the ground,not before she sees a whole group of Bouncing chips entering the Hall.......

OOc: Tis my first time here, watch me barely pass Mestro watches in his Souped-up Crystal-ball-that-does-not-get-destroyed-after-use... "Damn! I've run out of potato chips! Oh well, i'll just summon somemore Bags-of-Chips." "But master! You remember the last time you used that spell? It created a never-ending-stream of Crazed Grapes!!" "Yeah, luckily i managed to create a portal below the stream of grapes, oh well, it time they moved out of that old tavern into something better, y'know, more up-class?" Mestro begins to chant the Bags-of-chips spell... "Alkravia Shalla Nimrod! Gimme bago chips!" "errmmm.... master? i think it's supposed to be Alsavia Shalla Nimrod... you did the same thing with the grape spell... " "Oh, oh well, another portal won't hurt me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "COMING UP SOON!! Invasion of the Bouncing Chips!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OOC: just trying to get up an alternative source for the grapes =) and pls forgive if i said anything outta the storyline. ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH...

Gyrfalcon looked over at the giant seeds that were bouncing towards him. Lacking anything better to do, Gyrfalcon cast a Temporal Statis Field on them and halted their acidic bouncing. Gyrfalcon then stood up and said to the assembled mages: "15 minute timeout to take a breather and get something to drink. Then you can go back to your crisis." With that, Gyrfalcon sat down to monitor the Field for the next 15 minutes. OOC: 100th post to one string! When this finally winds down, I think it should transplanted to the Conservatory. ------------------ Gyrfalcon the half-elf battlemage Immortal of Fire Berserker of the West Bard of Terra (B1) Demigod of Vengance

pardon my most, how might i say, 'untimable' intrusion (untimable??? ) i was wondering. "Invasion of the Grapes"? fill me in. (please? ) ------------------ Shrouded in deadly darkness and holy light. We are but a single entity. To attack one of us, is to attack all of us... hail Dark Ascension!

As he felt the watermelon seeds grow within him, Decimator did the only thing he could do - he cast a teleportation spell to GET THEM OUT! Unfortunately, he was slightly off, and instead of reappearing at a nearby farm, as he had hoped, they ended up in Dameon's stomach. Dameon's stomach began to emit the strange gurgling noises that Decimator's had only moments before. Soon the seeds emerged, not once, not twice, but thrice their original size, which was nothing to scoff at in the first place. They had transformed into Poisonous and Acidic watermelon seeds. The seeds bounced towards Deirdre menacingly, who promptly fled. Decimator started to chase after them when a disgusted voice called out. It was Dameon, who had birthed the horrible mutants. "Get me out of this mess!" he shouted. "Uh, sorry about that," said Decimator. He helped Dameon up and produced a box of moist towelettes. "Here you go. This should help." Decimator turned and faced the camera. "Another plot hole patched." He then exited the Banquet Hall and walked off into the sunset, triumphant. {Editor's note: I posted this to correct the inconsistency of the seeds being vomited by Dameon, while originally being ingested by Decimator. I was a little confused when I saw that, Deirdre.} Decimator Wielder of the Ukulele of Doom Patcher of plot holes

With two sudden precognitive flashes of feline death (one being visited on him, the other not) Ozymandias blearily comes flying out of The Pit. "Death among friends is never a good thing. Especially not if it involves small, pointy claws or carnivourous fruit.", he muses. "Awright, let's do this thing!" Still hanging in midair, he begins concentrating as grapes zoom past, snapping at him. And concentrates, and concentrates, and concentrates. **You have summoned 484 Mind Rippers into your army** **You have summoned 102 Hydra into your army** **You finish casting Mirage Monster** **You finish casting Soul of Wood** **You finish casting Feet of Hermes** **You're rather torqued off, aren't you?** **You finish casting Wings of the Eagle** **You finished casting Paralyze** **You have summoned 1217 Hellhound into your army** **You finished casting Blood Curse** **Where are you getting all this mana, young man? Hmmm?** Many, many Hellhounds appear. In a blur of motion, they are on the grapes, and the battle is joined. Hydra appear, and immediately sprout massive wings. The resulting fruity carnage is vast, as they swoop down with greater ferocity than any bird of prey (don't forget, our wonderful hall has a very, very high ceiling). Shapes in the corner of many a mage's eye suddenly rear up and tear flying grapes to pieces. Mind Rippers are the last to join as several grapes come to an abrupt screeching halt in the air. The MR grow a barklike exoskeleton, and go about their work with zeal. Grapes are dropping left and right! Ozymandias himself smiles down on his work, and vanishes. Moments later, he reappears on the other side of the hall shooting firebolts wildly at grape after grape, wearing a kilt, crying, "FREEDOM!" Several magi assume him (correctly) to be piss drunk, but are grateful for the help anyway. The census takers have been dramtically mowed down by the grapes by now, and the stragglers who haven't hidden and started to ask the mages they've found in their hiding places how many children they have, are getting their heads twisted off like bottle caps by the Mind Rippers. For all their efforts, though, the sheer number of grapes are barely budged under the onslaught. "Where are they all coming from?!?", screams Ozymandias incredulously. Rubbing tiredly at his temple, his bolts becoming more and more erratic, he is slowly swarmed. It doesn't look good for our valiant lush. ----------------- I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

A mage wearing a cloak clasped at his throat with the insignia of the Shaolin Temple opens the door to the banquet hall and is struck dumb for some minutes by what he sees. Then he hears it, the sound of drunken singing and thinks even Woods isn't that bad. Modred begins pondering just what he can do to improve the situation and then ponders some more and decides that he needs a drink to help him think of something. On his walk to the bar he notices Deidre with many fang bites and remembers that he has some Ointment of Healing. After searching his pockets for some minutes, Modred liberally coats the cat with the ointment thinking, "hehe, I hope this works because it if doesn't Deidre is going to absolutely furious at what I did to her fur." Modred goes up to the bar and manages to scrounge some Vodka - most of it seems to have disappeared. Midway through his second drink, Modred thought of a solution to the problem and began to cast a spell but instead of summoning what he intended, the banquet hall began to fill with annoying census takers asking the grapes how many bathrooms they had and did anyone in their household wear loud Hawaiian shirts. Modred quickly jumped over the bar searched for a place to hide but found it full of barkeepers and little old men. Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 2:29:18 pm

Deirdre hisses in fury as she is left to deal with the Grapes herself. She swears vengeance on Ozy as soon as she gets out of this mess...... Her fur is matted with blood and her body is covered with poisonous bites from the Fanged Grapes. As the poison slowly clouds her mind, Deirdre stumbles and falls to the ground.....

"This has not gone as well as I'd hoped", he says, quietly edging away. He stops at the lip of The Pit of Hell, and crouches. "Say, any of you fellows mind me dropping in for a bit?" "Ehrrr..." "No, not at all." "Please! Love to have you!" "Could you bring us a Martini?" "Not a problem!", Ozymandias shouts back. He produces a flask from a pocket. "I've got something better here! Home brewed!" "How quaint! By all means, hop on in!" After tipping a seving wench to drop drinks in every half an hour, Ozymandias jumps in. After a couple of hours, the raspiest, graveliest, most ghoulish merry singing begins. Jets of flame leap out and incinerate any unsuspecting grape that flies too close. Three ascendants look longingly at the pit as they hide under a table. "No. Absolutely not.", their guildmaster admonishes. "And quit shoving." ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Deirdre screams as the grapes suddenly advance onto her and start to bare their fangs at her. She screams as the grapes start multiplying into a few thousand enormous grapes. "Oh no,not again",Ozy groans.........

Well now THIS is why I'm on Server 1, where else can you find this much fun just from some flying grapes. And where can you find a posting that WILL reach the 100 reply mark first? None other then good Ole' Reliable, Server 1, speaking of ol' reliable....Drink Please! ------------------ Orlan, Sexy Sexy Man Member of the Tribe S1 Lounge Lizard of Terra Soran Member of AoA Lover of Women Ruler of the Liar of Devils Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 1:33:33 pm

NOOO! NOT THE NIMBALL™!!! I thought ninja had them all? Oh god, they're multipling. *ACK* As herds of nimball™ players rush towards B1 BH, several mages are trampled to death. ------------------ Vladimir (The Fat Man) AFK "I am obese!!"

Tesla. The Nimball™ player extraordinaire comes to the rescue, of all the players of Nimball lost and confused.... Grabbing the Nimball™ Tesla sprints past the dumbfounded onlookers, waving to his fans, heading straight for the B1 BH where normal play shall resume... ------------------ Tesla the Inept Bard of Terra Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 1:29:01 pm

...goalkeeper of the Dutch national football team, who immediately drops it Fortunately, waiting to pick up the scraps is... Woods Only one team in it Spart

A previously not unhandsome mage comes storming into the S1 BH. Scarred by days of Nimball(Nt) playing he rushes towards where he thought the Nimball™would hit the floor. With a magistically timed dive he discoveres that instead of holding the ball he has wrapped his hands around an angry looking dwarf. The ball at this moment was in the hands of the oh so vigilant......

Slowly, inexorably, the seeds creep forward. Pelting across the hall hurriedly, Deirdre closes the gap. Newtlord, Gyrfalcon, Tzimfemme, and several others sense a great disturbance in the force. As one who has stared into the face of death and can never look at life the same way again, so it is with them and the feeling of their lives about to take an abrupt turn. Ozymandias' sandals are smoking now. The seeds are inches away, as is the maddened 9-year old Arkyn. Those closest by hear him to chant "I have a good HMO, I have a good HMO, I have a good HMO,..." under his breath as he begins to pull the thing from behind his back. A battered German mage near the back of the hall is the first to notice the giant tuning fork shaped object in the wall over Ozymanidas' head. "Mein Gott in Himmel", he breathes. But, eyes riveted to his every move, Newtlord, Tzimfemme, and Gyrfalcon are the first to glimpse the duct taped, spherical, whimpering three-eyed object as Ozymandias takes it from behind his back. Time seems to stop. Utter silence falls over the entire hall as Ozymandias defiantly raises the thing above his head. His eyes glimmer with an evil not of this world. In the resounding silence, his intake of breath can be heard from one end of the hall to the other. As well as an odd, "It burns, oh God, it burns..." coming from his parcel. He screams. "NIMBALLLLL™!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", and hurls it staright up into the air. The ground quakes and every window and door in the Banquet Hall shatters under the pressure of a tidal wave of dirty mages. And a few angry dwarves. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 1:24:13 pm