Ozymandias

I'll add my cheers to you, Deirdre. Good show! And thank you. This was a *lot* of fun. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Yo-yokirby sets up his booth again with a new sign: "Get it here! The Attack of the Killer Tomatoes II($4.95) AND (new) "5 Steps to Hamster Dancing" ($3.95) His friend, SuperKirby comes in. He is persuaded ( ) to buy 10 copys of both. P.S. Ch-ching ch-ching, you can almost hear it coming from Yo-yokirby. Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 12:25:14 pm

Originally posted by Woods, Crooner from Hell: Slapping Ozymandias (King of Kings) on the back, Woods conjures up a ukelele and launches into George Formby's 'When I'm cleaning windows' Turned out nice again, hasn't it? "Quite. And I, for one am going back to my realm to shower." He scurries for the door, wanting to avoid the one last scene of mob justice that invariably closes out any Surfing Druids gig. Unable to help himself, though, he stops in the doorway and yells, "Bartender! Drinks for everyone!! On you, or I'll sic Steinbeck on you again!! Good man!" And hurries away.

Originally posted by Woods, Crooner from Hell: What I could do is edit it slightly for, er, narrative clarity and stick it on the Conservatory for posterity and the wonderment of future generations. Any objections? None here. That was mine own plan, if nobody beat me to it. ------------------ Ozymandias The Intoxicated Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 12:21:57 pm

Slapping Ozymandias (King of Kings) on the back, Woods conjures up a ukelele and launches into George Formby's 'When I'm cleaning windows' Turned out nice again, hasn't it? Edited by: Ozymandias the Elder at: 2/23/02 12:19:11 pm

A pair of flying fists, feet of fury, and judiciously applied elbows and knees later (as well as a rather impressive headbutt)... The shattered remains of the watermelon nation and last grapes lay over all the banquet hall and banqueters. Drenched in watermelon, but humming happily to himself, Ozymandias has erected 'Please Watch Your Step', 'Do not Leave Children Unattended',and 'Get Your Picture Taken With the World Famous Pit of Hell-Five Geld' signs around the hole. Working with some other mages leaping into the community spirit(!), he begins work on a railing for it, and a historical marker to commemorate this epic (if only semi-coherent) battle. "The tourist revenues alone,"he says brightly,"should keep us all in heroes until well after we retire! That is,", he adds, sweeping a critical eye around his poor, once proud hall,"after the cleanup." Jet Li looks around, nods, and wipes watermelon from his face. Ozymandias bows to him. Li bows in return. "I'll be in my trailer."

*A-hem* Having already dispatched the Frenchmen, and having leapt into the hole and climbed back out again after about five minutes (during which there were general sounds of destruction, growls, howls, screams, and things burning), leaving it now very, VERY quiet, Jet Li charges forward to meet the newest produce menace head on. He begins to show signs of breaking a sweat. The fight is not a pretty picture.

Suddenly,ten grapes appear out of nowhere.OH NO!The flying grapes have called upon their allies the menacing watermelon nation! the watermelons spew their poison seeds everywhere in the hall....... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm.....thanks a lot! What do you mean by "edit it slightly"? As in what do you intend to change? Deirdre the cat meows and claws him a little to show her thanks.

This has been a damn fine thread. Well done, Deirdre... What I could do is edit it slightly for, er, narrative clarity and stick it on the Conservatoryry for posterity and the wonderment of future generations. Any objections?

Finally,the whole thing is over! Deirdre the cat meows and whines at Greased for some fish and threatens to do the following to him if he doesn't give her any fish: Phrase A:*meow meowy meowy meowy meowy meow* Repeat 1000 times Phrase B:*GRRRR growly growly growly growly growl* Repeat 1000 times **Both are to be sung in this pattern:A,B then A,B,....... Greased refuses to and Deirdre starts singing as written above.After hearing the 2 phrases for more than 200 times,Greased starts yeling:"Stop!Stop!Stop the darn tune!I'll give you some fish,ok?!!!" Deirdre the cat refuses to stop until she gets her fish. ************************ 10 mins later,Deirdre gets her fish and stops singing. *meow* Cats RULE!!!!!!!!!

Vladimir58 walks into the banquet hall, surveys the carnage, and runs out screaming something about Bob, George, and Frank. The hamster he accidentally stepped on (and pretty much killed, let's face it, this guy is huge) manages to squeak in its last breath "well, that was better than being beaten senseless with a ukelale filled with Egg Nog on a cold evening in the antarctic." ------------------ Vladimir (The Fat Man) AFK "I am obese!!"

Catching sight of something that sure *looks* like his tail, (but could darned easily be an evil impostor!) the Shepherd gives chase. After an exhausting, but rewardinghalf an hour of running around in circles, barking (the miscreant tail being no longer in view), he comes to a gradual stop, facing a new direction. The wind picks up and begins to blow towards him. He sniffs the air. *Hey! There it is! There's the scent! Yess!!* Once again, he is off like a shot. Over hill, and over dale. Through forest, and through swamp... A week later,(don't worry kids, he's a magical doggie. He didn't get tired. Or hungry.) there is a knock at Mestro's front door. Mestro, who just happened to be coming dowstairs right then, ends up at the door before his footmen, so he decides to open it himself for a change. At first, it seems no-one is there. "Ahem", emanates from near his knees. Looking down, Mestro sees a very familiar looking German Shepherd. Looking him straight in the eye, it asks, "You Archmage Mestro?" "Ye-esss..." "Good. You remember about a week ago, doing that whole grapes, potato chips, pushing me through a rift thing?" "Yes..." "I have a message for you." "Well, get on with it, what is it??" The Shepherd promptly bites Mestro on the leg. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

walks into the hall. since he heard of things like this happening every few days when mages get too drunk, he doesn't mind it much, he just goes straight to decimator and re-reads his account of the happenings "God's holy Trousers!" he says "all these mages experimenting with magic when they're bloody drunk an' bleedin' crazy! A disgarce, it is! Why all these spells and units are enough to make a whole new magic specialty! Burgundy, I'll call it, the color of red red wine. And a proper color I'll make of it too, with summonable flying grapes and recruitable stereotypical frenchies! And one, day, I'll stand before Tzimfemme, not kneel mind you, but stand, and she'll present me with whatever bloody award naked mages present people with..." a whole bunch of mages reply "pardon us while we fall down laughing" which they do to spite impostor. however being drunk and miscoordinated, most of them fall into the pit of hell by accident. *elsewhere, not minding its recent 'setback' (quite literal, actually) a lone German Shepherd Dog follows a scent only he c... *sniff**sniff* he-ey, where'd the scent go?*

Since I apparently know how to please the customers, and since my adherence to Sprite keeps me from alcohol, I will take the place of the bartender. Ol' Peculiar, anyone? (smiles and does that pointing thing like the guy on Love Boat). In honor of the fourth page of this post, drinks are on the house today! Decimator Wielder of the Ukulele of Doom Pursuer of Amazonian women S1 Banquet Hall bartender

Gasp! How could you?? how could you do such a horrible and dreadful thing to our Bartender!! He's probably gonna go home and try to get fixed up now, so who's gonna pour the drinks and keep the Tavern functioning now?? And who's gonna wash his pants? OOC: OOC means Out-Of-Character ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH...

Deirdre gladly accepts the real milk and gulps it down happily.She turns back into a mage and walks up to the bartender. Snickering,she pulls out a dagger and starts playing with the bartender who is too frightened to do anything. Deirdre presses the dagger against his neck and slides it down his body,using just enough pressure to make him feel enough pain to hurt him but not to kill him. She sneers at the bartender and warns him not to mess around with her or she'll teach him a nastier lesson the next time round. Deirdre uses her finger and traces his wound slowly and puts her finger into her mouth, tasting his blood slowly. She then licks the blood off the dagger before putting it back up her sleeve. "Nice blood",she smirks at him before returning to her table. Deirdre P.S What does OOC mean?

Decimator looks over from his scroll to see Deirdre coughing and sputtering like, well, a cat who's just licked something that she thought was milk, but was really... White out (aka correction fluid, liquid paper). Decimator had been writing quitely in the corner (after returning from his walk into the sunset). After all, someone had to take notes to keep this all straight. He'd brought along his jumbo bottle of white out to fix errors. When Greased had ordered a saucer of milk for Deirdre, the overzealous bartender grabbed the jumbo bottle of white out by mistake. Deirdre began to lap it up, and mistook it for a more...personal...fluid. "Sorry, Deirdre. I'll label the bottle next time. Here, have a gallon of real milk." OOC: Whew, saved us from what could have gotten a little nasty. Decimator Wielder of the Ukulele of Doom Pursuer of Amazonian women

While a lone German Shepherd races across the fields, following a trail only he can see, a major work of magic is about to take place. In a high tower shrouded by clouds, a lone mage tries to heal a fracture in the fabric of mana-time. He raises his hands, and starts an incantation that causes his hands to glow green, as he taps into the great healing power of life... (aside) "You can't do any majik without the proper lighting effects y'know, my dear apprentice." The great mage lifts his hands as he moves closer to the jagged edges of the fracture in mana-time that he intends to heal. He starts to concenrate. Standing over the fracture, he incants, concentrating mightily upon his task, when a Lone German Sheepdog runs right into his back. *you lost your concentration* *you spell, Heal Fracture in Mana-Time fails* "YEARRGHHH!!!!! My Hand!!!! It went through the rift!!!! It's gone!!!!" Staring at the blood spurting out of the stump that is his arm, Mestro casts Regenaration. *You start to cast Regenaration* *You Heal your arm* *You finish casting regenaration* While Mestro concentrates on healing himself, his ever-so-lovable apprentice, Rukh, casts Kinetic push on the German Shepherd to keep him away from himself. The German Shepherd gets thrown right into one of the fractures and falls right through, landing upon the oh-so-unfortunate ...... ------------------ Me Mestro, You Jane... Wait one minute, you not Jane!!! ARGHHHHHH...

Deirdre starts drinking the milk and suddenly yells:"This ain't milk! This is......??!!!" The whitish liquid on closer inspection, seems to be a little sticky. Deirdre suddenly realizes what it is,pukes and screams:"Who the hell gave me this stuff????It ain't milk,you idiots!!!!!!!It's a sort of liquid from a male!!!!!!!!!!!" (That's for you guys to find out and for me to know! )

However, the Mind Rippers were swarmed under as the rabid squirrels ripped into their bodies. Several Mind Rippers cracked open squrrel heads only to find out the horrible truth- squirrels have no brains and are immune to psychic attacks. More to the point, they don't have brains to eat. Most of the Mind Rippers were dead in a few minutes, leaving only the hydra to face the onslaught... OOC: its helpful to look at unit info. Squirrels, Sheep and Frogs are all immune to attack type Psychic, the Mind Rippers main attack.

The Mind Rippers look up in glee. Finally, foes with brains to suck! Some squirrels drop dead before they've even crossed the threshold. The hounds and Hydras look very interested as well, being staunch carnivores who've been forced to eat massive amounts of fruit and potato chips, and who are *very* cranky by now... Elsewhere, a lone German Shepherd races across the fields, following a trail only he can see. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Uh-oh. ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Suddenly, a huge rumbling sounds from the outside of the banquet hall. Seconds later, the wall bursts and squirrels come bursting in. The mage kor has tamed the squirrels since nimball™ round 6 and has given them the attack type poison with the vial of venom he keeps around for just such an occassion. ------------------ -- kor The Knights of Light and Darkness

Greased prys open his alcohol-encrusted eyes. "Jeshush, thish shtring sthill goin' shtrong?" The ladies propping his body off the floor nod. "Well, then, I need me anudder them drinksh. Or... any drink will do!" *MEOW!* "And get Diedre a shaucer full of the white shtuff." ------------------ Greased, The Man, Galactic Hero Corps S1 Affiliations: - Calculus for the Masses - The Men of Terra - Honorary Tribe (unless that's no longer true ) A1 Affiliations: - Angels of the Apocalypse - Priest to the Right Hand Side of the God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen