Katzaniel

To answer the challenge: Trio of forms masking A brave soul. Never blindly following, but Understanding well. Curious about the world, Having doubts of her clan's beliefs, Abandoned outdated thinking to become New and dedicated citizen of the Pen. I might come and write the prerequisite self-poem at some point.

Another death. This time, not a student. Was this not, then, a revenge from those days? Or was this rather a distraction to make the students feel less uncomfortable and the detectives look in the wrong place? Jaqui finds no solace in her psychology knowledge, no clues among the varied occupants of the house, and exactly the opposite of comfort from the new murder. She decides to listen especially carefully to the conversations going on among each of the other students. However, it's still important not to isolate oneself. Almost as important as finding a second perspective. "Walter," she says, "what do you think it all means?"

I believe my judging date is sufficiently past, that I may now judge. First, my feelings in chronological order upon reading. Peredhil: Although the poem was amusing and otherwise well-written, I felt that the repetition actually detracted from it, becoming progressively predictable and thus slightly annoying. The change of pace at the end was well-calculated but I think it would have gone over much better overall if you had used the line only at the start of each stanza previously. Tanuchan: I like how you used the repetition of the word in a couple of different ways, it added to the overall effect. I felt that the poem was better because of your use of this tool with it. Zadown: Thank you for your example. With less skillful uses of repetition in prose, I as a reader often pick up on the word as causing an unintended distraction. However, I consider it a compliment to Zadown's style in this short piece that I did not pick out immediately which words he was reusing. At the long string of slashes/parries, I did, but that at point as well I found it well-used. purple_shadows: This piece was also effective in using the tool. I got the definite feeling that the phrase was an integral part of the emotions and meaning of the poem. I also liked the change of pace at the end, using it twice in one stanza and then again just once in the last. cryptomancer: I liked how you chose a "portion of a phrase" (if one can call it that) and then altered its introduction to each statement. On one hand it produced a neat effect upon rereading, but on the other, I felt that it lessened the obviousness of the repetition. It was very good use of the tool, but the poem did not seem to center on the idea as Tanuchan's and purple_shadows' did, despite the title including the phrase as well. Secondly: Although I liked everyone's contributions, my own perspective on the use of repetition in them causes me to award: purple_shadows - 25 geld Tanuchan - 20 geld cryptomancer - 15 geld Zadown - 5 for participation Peredhil - 5 for participation Thirdly, a little thought on the ordering of the winners. I felt that the top three were very close and what pushed purple_shadows' and Tanuchan's pieces up was probably the general feeling that the poems were centered on the repeated portion. Not to say that I felt "wings of dark" was forced or put in at the last moment, but simply that "cold" and "young and out of love" were very much what the poems were about, and not a secondary theme. I felt that this improved the effectiveness. Next, Tanuchan's and purple_shadows' poems were very close. I think a large part of what caused me to give purple_shadows first place was the use of an entire phrase instead of one word. This made the repetition seem just a little more natural in the piece, even though the use of one word makes the repetition flexible and Tanuchan used it well. I've also altered my original geld scheme a little because the rounding would not have worked out very neatly (25, 15, 10 if using closest number or 25, 20, 10 if rounding up, and this seemed too inconsistent to me, especially since they were all very close. I hope I haven't insulted anyone... and thank you everyone!

:woot: YIPPEE! :woot: I'm so happy for you, Tanny. And it is so well-deserved.

"How come you're being such a wimp about your arm, Mister? You fought so well against the demons before." Llassar looked with consternation at Robby, unable to understand his pain. Robby, working to get over the sharp feelings shooting through his arm, simply answered, "Healing magic doesn't work on me." Teq shot the boy a look for his rude directness, but went unseen. Robby turned to the older swordsman a moment later. "Do you know how to splint an arm?" "Oh, yes, of course," answered Teq, hurrying to grab the materials he needed. "I should have thought of that." There was silence between the three as Robby's arm was splintered. Suddenly Teq cursed angrily. "Who would do this to our little town!?" he cried out. Matter of factly, Robby replied, "Gyrfalcon." Teq looked at the man in surprise. "You know?" "I saw his flag flying at some of the ruins earlier." "This ... Gyrfalcon ... will pay." "He'll pay all right!" shouted Llassar, brandishing his sword. "We'll have to avenge Ma. Just let me at the man!" "Gyrfalcon is very dangerous," warned Robby. "And there are already mercenaries out for his head." Teq rubbed Llassar's shoulders to calm him, but spoke angrily enough himself. "I don't care. Gyrfalcon must die, and I will do everything in my power to bring this about." Robby assessed the two, and apparently felt they could be trusted. "Then join us. I am already on my way to kill Gyrfalcon. Travel with me." Teq nodded emphatically. "We will fight by your side again, it seems. If you mean to kill the man who brought about my Wellin's death, I will travel with you and help you." Llassar pumped his fist in the air. "Death to Gyrfalcon!"

Tam: Obviously. Who really needs to get their head in the game then? If it was accidental, you did not mean it. But if it's an emoticon, you meant it afterward. So you probably meant the > and So early in the morning and my brain already hurts...

I don't know about everyone else, but I haven't had very many descriptions. In fact, that "s" on there is virtually optional. So y'all get writing and then you'll make big geld when we decide to use your description! (Or not, if not, but you have a good crack at it ) Forgive me if there's a mistake here 'cause it's off the top of my head, but we need descriptions for the following items: Faithstone of the Zealot Coin of Endless Schemes Pendant of Canla of the Silver Tongue Get thinking, get writing, get PMing!!! (Or I'll add another "s" in there and you'll all be sorry...)

Oh, and by the way, an ending date... I'll give it 2 days from now, then post the winners.

I will offer thanks after my final exam is done. Ah, what the hey... I'll offer them now, on condition that you all realize I don't really mean it for another 5 hours. PS. I think you meant them to be eyes, but they make good elephant ears too: >.,.

"The most surprising people are sometimes capable of violence." Jaqui's voice cut across the room like a hot knife through soft butter. Almost everyone in the room had had experience with violence or killing in the past, and those who were not already recalling those events began to think on them. Especially to think back on who had turned out to be the culprit. In her own case, it had a been a highly Christian kid along with the star of the school. Probably the two least likely, had you not known them intimately. "I've been listening carefully to all of you, and the one who seems to have the most to hide is this Mrs. Black. She acts kindly to everyone, but her words have an undertone. It's something I have not heard since I was pushed down the stairs by the most-loved kid in high school, many years ago. I tell you, Amanda Black is after something from us." OOC: Sorry Tanny My vote is for Tanuchan - Amanda Black

Katz held Scarlot's gaze without blinking, as only a cat could. However, she nodded her head and spoke. "Within these guild halls, I will not question your power. If you will, though, consider skipping the 'small' mission... I'm eager for a real challenge right now. Meanwhile, your dagger..." The tigertaur pulled the knife from the doorframe and sent it skittering across the floor toward the elf. Scarlot made no move to pick it up but the tigertaur had not expected any response or clue to how she took the gesture. Still without shifting her gaze from the woman's eyes, Katzaniel then backed out of the room.

By all appearances, the pretty woman standing in consternation by the sign-up sheet was young and human. In truth, she was a couple of million years old, and at least half demon. Recently having found her way to the Pen after a partially successful kidnapping attempt on the archangel Gabriel, Horace had discovered this thing called "reading" and these things called "letters". Apparently this keep was largely devoted to the practise, and so she had found a likely candidate to coach her on how to do this, and thus far could put together the letters to form her name. Period. Eventually she would learn more of this difficult craft, and the skill might lead to finding Lucifer again. So Horace knew that the symbols "SIGN-UP SHEET" meant something, but not what. It might be important in her quest. "Gabriel, there's a sheet on this wall and a lot of different handwritings. Do you know what it might mean?" The angel, trapped inside the briefcase in Horace's hands, stirred. I don't understand why you think I want to help you. "Well, we're both stuck on earth until I can find the underworld. Earth is a terrible place. So why wouldn't you want to help?" Confounded once more by Horace's backward logic, and unable as usual to think of a convincing way to prove that Heaven was better than the underworld (how do you tell this to someone who inherently believes the opposite?) Gabriel sighs. It was obvious to him that this "Pen" place was nothing like the underworld, so it might be a good place to trick Horace into staying. He couldn't see what Horace was looking at, but it sounded like a sign up sheet of some sort. It's probably writing lessons or something. Write your name on it. I think that this "Pen" place will eventually lead us the underworld. I mean, it's obvious that writing is evil... So yeah, sign up. Gabriel wasn't very good at conniving, but Horace wasn't very good at being doubtful. When they left, the list had the added name: - HOrAC3

Warning: The following is an actual subliminal message.

Jaqui finds herself analyzing Walter's hesitant response and mentally shakes her head. It doesn't really matter what his old impressions are, they are both new people now. "Much better than last time you saw me, Walter. I went into psychiatry at the same time Arielle did, and I learned a lot about myself. Now I regret not getting to better know people like you. Tell me, what have you done with the last ten years?"

Hey, no putting people up to comment on your great use of repetition! And I forgot to mention participation geld... the somewhat stardard seeming 5 geld for participation should suffice, given the number of participants.

Leaning against the wall and listening to the myriad conversations in the room was a young woman. She had come alone and stood alone, but as she listened she considered the male voices and wondered whether any were worth approaching. She was blind and judged worth by opinions and actions over appearance, and thus she stood silently, observing in her own way. From the crowd, Jaqui picked out a voice that she had not heard in years. Walter, one of the decent boys from her graduating class. She had more or less known him through Arielle, but back then she had been one of the jerks and had never really given him a chance. In fact, it was surprising she had ever become friends with either Arielle or Chandler. Jaqui had known Chandler well since elementary school but seen him only twice since she'd moved away for university. She had never understood at the time why he did not seem to be attracted to her and that had probably fuelled the alienation she felt after grad. Luckily for Jaqui, though, Arielle remained a good friend to this day. As it happened, Arielle had known even in high school what she wanted to be, and talked about it often. Jaqui became entranced with the idea, too. Psychiatry. This was something that was interesting, something she could do. And possibly an area of work where she would not run into discrimination for her lack of eyesight. Both friends got accepted into the same university and they helped each other through. There did turn out to be prejudice but she overcame it. Herself and Arielle even found work in the same clinic, both had loyal clients, and were doing well enough. Curious about this invitation that they had both received, Jaqui had taken the week off of work and come down. Apparently Walter had gotten one too. Making her way down to where she could hear him speaking, Jaqui waited for a lull in the conversation then tapped him with her cane. "Hey Walter, do you have any idea what this party is about?" she grinned benignly, wondering how quickly he'd recognize her. OOC: Merelas, I'm hoping you weren't planning on having Walter still friends with Arielle? By your post it did not appear as such. Let me know if I should change anything here in order to better coincide with what you intend to do.

Yes, it stands as a fine example of repetition and I see no reason not to accept it. I'd like to take this opportunity to point out how Peredhil and Tanuchan both used repetition in a couple of different ways within one piece. Peredhil repeated his phrase at regular intervals throughout the middle verses and once more, as a culmination, at the end; Tanuchan used the same word to begin the first two stanzas and then used it at the start of four consequetive lines, and again at the very end. Peredhil used an entire line and Tanuchan just one word but both serve as examples of Repetition. I'm sure I'll think of more things to add when others have posted, too.

Contest! Can you guess what this one is about? Repetition! Repetition can be used to drive home a point, make something stick in one's memory, or reinforce the information it surrounds. As many of you know from reading material with too much of it, repetition can easily be overused. For example, the word repetition is probably getting annoying in this post. So, a contest. Can you effectively use the tool of repetition to make a point in a poem or paragraph? Points as follows: 1st: 5g x #participants to a maximum of 30. 2nd: somewhat rounded and approximately 2/3 of 1st. 3rd: somewhat rounded and approximately 1/3 of 1st. I'll judge for use of repetition and a little bit for general clarity.

OOC: Given the number of posts since I left, I won't just edit this in. The crispy-clean carnival contest and creator were waiting, worrying, wondering whether pun-loving participants might play. Ayshela assured ashen self-doubts that despite dire and dreadful distress, the booth would be the best of the bunch. The waiting was not too woefully wearying, for fewer than forty minutes had flown when the first, Finnius, allocated his allotment of alliterative eloquence to the elaborate ultimatum. OOC2: Ayshela, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by four alliterations (In total? Per sentence? Does four alliterations mean four strings of different letters or four words of the same letter?) If you mean four strings of words in each of the three sentences, then this'll have to count for the first challenge. OOC3: Kunax, I believe your question has been sufficiently answered by Peredhil? I'm not sure that Ayshela meant that we had to follow the "sound" rule, but generally alliterations are determined by whether the start sounds the same. Another example of where my definition alters from Ayshela's original one is that I would consider the strings in the above sentence of "Ayshela assured..." and "...alliterative eloquence..." to be alliterations even though they don't start with consonants at all.

I think we do need to note that although, for example, "giraffe" and "guess" and "gnat" appear alliterative, they are not. Usually a common starting letter means alliteration but to be even more effective they will also sound the same. ie) "jeering giraffe" or "knitting gnats into knickers" work well enough. I will come up with an official entry later, and probably edit it into this post. Edit: PS. Peredhil, that was fantastic!

Pfft! No wonder I felt tempted to type an "e" there. Blame it on the fact that I've met 2 Ariannes and never an Arielle I guess. Sorry.

Thank you, all. I appreciate the comments. I don't think I will rework this particular piece, but due to the positive feedback I may decide to reuse the style in a later work. Thanks!

Jaqui... erm, I don't think she even had a last name... I'll play her about 10 years later, with events as they really happened, so although she ended up making friends with Arianne and that helped her to be a little more trusting and friendly, she now gives second chances at any rate, she still is a somewhat bitter person toward people who don't fit her criteria. Oh, and for people who missed the first one: Jaqui is blind, and much of her criteria is based on people treating her as helpless. She hates that. So: Jaqui, blind and somewhat bitter young adult. At your service.

~Threads and Posts~ The purpose of this entire forum is to describe your character. And to find information on other people's characters. In order for ease of finding desired information, we are going to try separating the data into some categories. There will be three types of topics, all optional: Title: Your Pen Name Subtitle: "The Writer" ex) Katzaniel - The Writer Ideally, this can contain any or all of the following: Introduction: An initial post with a quick introduction to yourself. Biography: A more detailed biography. List of Works: A list of the things you've written. You can either just list them, or use tables (explained below) to format the information you want to include. Title: Your Character's Name Subtitle: "Character of " with your Pen Name ex) Inbi Infusco - Character of Katzaniel ex) Katzaniel - Character of Katzaniel Ideally, you would include any or all of the following: Brief Description: In the first post, I'm hoping. History: Events in the past that shaped your character. Abilities: The skills s/he has. Magical Abilities: Magical powers s/he has. Items: Weapons or other things that they carry with them. Physical Description: The way they appear to others. What they often wear. Identifying marks. Personality: How they act. Relationships: How they interact with other characters. Friends, family, roommates and other aquaintances could be listed here. Other: Anything that doesn't fit well into one of the above. Title: "Other Characters" Subtitle: "Created by " and your Pen Name ex) Other Characters - Created by Katzaniel This would just include the character's name as the "title" of each post (as explained in the next post, the title of the post should have a "~" on each side) and then whatever info you feel is needed on them. More might be added later. In the meantime, if you have something you'd like to add, PM it to me or comment in the Suggestion Box and it will most likely find its way into the list. Now, each of these items should go in its own post within your thread, so that it's easier to search.

Yay, Stick!! :wizzie: :wizzie: I didn't realize you weren't 21 yet. Have a happy one. Yay Psimon, too.