reverie

...just a thought... was listening to NPR today... Anyways some great tv chief was talking (can't remember his name) Anyways he said something to the effect... That you have to become a craftman before you become an artist... Kind of like, you have to know the rules before you can go beyond and or break them. I guess we're all lazy in this, but a little toil can go a long way in creativity... All that said. Poetry is exspression. The forms are tools used to help you identify with different viewpoints. I see them as mental exercises. Still at the root of it all, is the raw observations. So I think this poem is a poem. It would probably function best as a performed piece of spoken world where you add in drama and what not... revery the dreamlost "you find magic from your god, we find magic everywhere..." (dar williams) the dream continues...

whisperign anewl: good stuff... don't take this the wrong way, but actually reminds me of "teenage dirtbag" by wheatus you capture the awkard moment pretty well... revery the dreamlost "waste my days..." (wheezer) the dream continues...

Interesting. I like it. I like the way you set each stanza up with the last line of the preceding one. Nice work tying it all together at the end. (well, if anyone hasn't noticed, i'm a structure buff) revery the dreamlost "one, two three, once again -go" (aimee mann) the dream continues...

oh... you don't have to appease anyone... if you want to go free form, go free form... we won't stop you. revery the dreamlost "abort, retry, ignore..."(dos?) the dream continues...

oh kewl... I love your structure... It's kewl how you you make the line refer backwards and forwards to ideas and phrases... I do the same sometimes... though maybe not as apparent.... keep soaring... revery the dreamlost "kk koolaid..." (i have no idea) the dream continues...

now that's what i'm talking about... bravo... great imagery... revery the dreamlost "chew on this..."(jolly rancher) the dream continues...

nice use structure... be careful not be trapped by it though... revery the dreamlost "seek to find, your silly ryhme" the dream continues...

"A whole, torn open by a hole," Would try: "The whole, torn open by a hole," just a suggestion... rev...

humms... "these are a few of my favorite things..." revery the dreamlost "heh" the dream continues...

well, it's nice how you duplicated you structure from the first 3 stanza's to the next... the contrast kinda throws me though... maybe the devil person is self righteous... thinking himself good? or consider himself a devil for having to kill one of such of beauty... Angels from hell... hmm, here's an idea... maybe they knew each other before the fall/ angel rebellion in heaven... and he still remember her for the angel she was... and now views himself evil for having to destroy her... thus he kills himself too... kewl... revery the dreamlost "shine on, sweet diamond"(pink floyd) the dream continues...

how? how does a kiss fix it... and what does it fix? you, your feelings, the other person... expand, expound... yes the devil is in the details...if a kiss is the remendy... what drives it? kisses ignite, betray, consume, join us... just some fuel from ya... now catch fire... revery the dreamlost "into the grace of god go I..."(fours squirrels) the dream continues...

... nice tone... quiet and calm setting against the harshness which drives to charactor to harm herself... revery the dreamlost "I got a basketball jones"(cheech and chong) the dream continues...

having a bit of trouble figuring out who you're speaking too... last concluding couplet seems reflective though, like a pep talk to yourself... for all the trails and whatnot... revery the dreamlost "keep on keeping on..." (don't know) the dream continues...

Am sorry you feel this way deggy... well best of luck to you... as some solace i offer up my two traveling poems to ease you journey and maybe one day speed you return... Traveling Traveling this time again, Always going where, you have not been It's always sad to leave a friend Not always glad to begin again... But leaving her or him or them... Doesn't break the friendship in- -to scattered remnants of a dream Where laughter left and all seem'd mean Fore time need not, be stopped. Nor revived To a place where friendship thrived. If you leave behind, so be it then Now go forward now, and make amends... For now you have a choice to choose To live with the past, with ghosts you use Or to smile upon, the gleam of dawn That lights the way, you trek upon... -------------- Pass Time has passed a bit or so, since last that time, you had to go... The reasons why? The world, of course With all the trials and sad remorse... Turning 'bout, you're back again And open arms invite you in To tell your tells and what has past Of time left lost, and friendships fast... Good luck, revery the dreamlost "if i don't hold her up, will she just fall down..."(aimee mann) the dream continues...

Hey fellow penners... just in case ya'll were wondering what happen'd to me in the last few weeks...(cause really have not been around at all) i cleaned my room(this is a big event, even hung curtains); lost 8 pounds(soo hungry); ran a marathon(soo tired); got a 'B' on my biology midterm, while aceing the others(woohoo!); found out i'll prolly be made my battalion's acting career counselor (eep! too much weight, get it off, get it off...{heh, ask peredhil}); got accepted into mensa(not to brag or anything but, this explains sooooo much, no really it does); learned qui chong to deal with all the stress("...i am shooting the freeking stars already!"), passed my PT test(peredhil again); inprocessed and inteviewed 25 people that don't won't to reenlist in the army(everyone's a critic); and did more paper work than i've ever done in my life...(argh!) To say the least life's kinda got me all in a spin right now... so have to leave the pen for a bit to focus n'stuff... will be back in a few weeks or months... or however long it takes... sorry but will also have to withdrawn from my portion of the quill quest as well... i'll just have to pick it up 'nother time... take care all... revery the dreamlost "i'm only sleeping" (beatles) the dream continues...

Reminds me of either the spirit of Death or Time or both... revery the dreamlost "i like dots..." the dream continues...

i like... rev...

to zariah...he did what? aye... no comment... rev...

I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile. Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away I let mine out, and chatter all the while. I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day Is any day that's spent without a friend, With nothing much to do or hear or say. I like to be with people, and depend On company for being entertained; Which seems a good solution, in the end. or I am, of course, none other than blank verse. I don't know where I'm going, yes, quite right; And when I get there (if I ever do) I might not recognise it. So? Your point? Why should I have a destination set? I'm relatively happy as I am, And wouldn't want to be forever aimed Towards some future path or special goal. It's not to do with laziness, as such. It's just that on the whole I'd rather not Be bothered - so I drift contentedly; An underrated way of life, I find. rev...

i agree, but just don't see the need to formalize it... call me silly, but i just don't like the notion of someone singling out a topic and saying okay we're going to depate it. Trivial? Maybe. But if you have a overwhelming need to air something, then just do it. ppl will then naturally either choose to afrim or disagree with you, and some will post on it. Aye, the thing I fear the most, is someone firing off pure point by point greek style agruments. Where the would be socriates willfully baites the opposer with logic traps which destroys the other's person foundations... Where technique wins out over content. Reminds me too much of lawyers... *shudders* revery the dreamlost "so ya think ya can tell, heaven from hell" (pink floyd) the dream continues...

now-a-days we add the numbers to the fox test... i.e. the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog 1234567890 (for some reason, i always want to type 'fence' instead of 'dog' go figure) well, atleast that's how our mates in britain want it done... it's all kind out-dated really, but our gov'ts refuse to share technology...at least in that aspect. silly... revery the dreamlost "lo, lo, lo mates" the dream continues...

time is all we have, yet never enough... not sure if someone else said that before... pretty much ppl get busy... ya know... life happens... you'll see... so why rush it? nice poem though, gloomy but nice... would throw a 'y' after ever in the 2nd stanza though... revery the dreamlost "i saw a world enchanted" (under your spell,buffy songs) the dream continues...

I Sit and Wait by Max Ehrmann I sit and wait upon my soul to-night, And watch the sea and sky, The silent moon's far-reaching light That glorifies the night. Now would some keen, hard-headed son of trade Laugh loud at me, and say, "Tell me of what stuff a soul is made. The thing's no good in trade." And proud philosophers would hard contend To tell me all they knew, Forgetting that the lights of heaven blend And shine, while they contend. So each one to his wish, and as for me, I sit to-night and wait To find the answers to my soul in me, And in the beauty of the sky and sea. rev...

Fountain contemplates the wall before him. Lost in the the grain, his eyes fix unfocused willing the swirls to move, lights starts to dim in and out... as pupils dilate in the exercise of point fixation turned mediation. Feeling as a wallflower, eyes glued to the walls, Fountain wonders what must have tripped him up earlier on. The crow-girl was a little peeved, wasn't she,"bally piped in? Fountain blushed a bit then winced from more than just the memory, "yeah, i'd say so, bally... her claws came out after the fall... I'll have scars for weeks..." Fountain then turned his gaze the gathering crowd around crow. Apparently while fountain had been recovering himself, another elf had wondered in. A small elven child it seems. Zariah and Elwen had rushed over to greet the young elven one adoringly. Bally surfaced in fountains thoughts once more, "Now, now Fountain, jealously really doesn't suit you, now does it? Especially for one such as that." Irritated at the voice, "What do you mean such as that?" the boy shot back. Bally mused, "i'm not sure, but i smell power, be careful with that one." Choosing to ignore the warning for now, Fountain pushed bally to the back of his mind, then surveyed the rest of the crowd. "another child," he thought? "Oh wait that must be Rune, the cute little demon child that had finally joined the pen. Revery said she was silly, cute, and oh so nice..." Foutain walked over to the new face, "hello mistress Rune, I'm fountain, revery's new apprentice." Rune kinda tilted her head a little quizically, " oh hello you, you Rev's new 'prentice..., that must be fun. Oh, hey Mister Fountain, what's a 'prentice?" Bending down, fountain smiled, "it's like a student, only more binding..." Rune mulled this over a bit, clasping and unclasping her hands about her head as she twirled " oh, um, fountain, What's a student...?" Frowning a bit foutain searched for a moment, "uh, Master Revery teaches me things." Smiling wide rune came back, "Like what?" The boy replied, "Oh all manner of things, like how to dream..." Rune gasped, "You don't know how to dream! ...that's terrible" Hesitating some Foutain offered, "oh no, of course i know how to dream, he just makes it so... so... um, Rune, I'll have to get back to you on this..." Fountain leaves the young demon child and starts to wonder about the carberett room... Just what the heck, does the old master teach me anyway? "Oh, all manner of things" bally chided him in a perfect imitaition of fountain... ... o.o.c. hmm, am not the best with interactions... but am learning some... this fun... rev...

aye... why such an insistance on formalization... If you want to voice your thoughts on soup... then just voice them... turns on tangeant generator: sputter, sputter, plop, plop...buzzzz Soup steaming form a mug on a cold, cold day... Carried in a thermous, Chedder or potato... Whatever, it sooth's your throat and belly... Too hot, might burn, that's okay... blow it cool soft... and try taste again... I like miso, myself... soy bean's trying to be the new king... Feed for all... Toxins sux... Maybe they fix them, before we get stuck... Live from the Airwaves, a preacher mans says: I wish you we're dying, dying to live. If the world see's illusion, and ngostics' embrace a way. Which way do you follow? Which way should we stray. Good question, on wise one... Wise in your lies? No not lies... misperceptions. Perceptions turned broken... Heat starts to rise...The crowds shirks and seeth... Foundations do crumble, based on baseless beliefs... Try, find, be more open... And risk, your own destruction... Rebirth relive... our culture blends tangeant from nature... We quake and we quiver... Someone say us deliver: From the cold maw of night... We lie still free from light... hushed in a shadow. You strive for new ways. Burning brickyards do tremble, from the world we believe. So will you walk with me? Or run so far away... down throught the meadow ... Did alice search so? Following the white rabbit of resurection for all. So hinged you did cling... summored questions... Blink, Blink... Sweat starts to drop... I question my foundations... I watch as they drop... From the pedestal on high, where the mighty did drewl... I wonder if heavens more wonderful, if i put myself through hell. Hmm... Rain drops start falling, but the colds gone away. The moon lights still waxing... Flash forward shimmering waves... across a few oceans we find them. the long taxed and the brave. So valent, so noble... DVD X-box bundle? Waiting in lazy, lazy days...Oh hell, they must have earned it... still waiting... dot. save. revery the dreamlost "big light, blue light, yel-low light, purple..." (the gravel pit) the dream continues...