reverie

**Claps** wonderful and welcome... revery the dreamlost "so what if I was romeo in black jeans? (m. penn/no myth) the dream continues...

Yea! Go you rev...

Awesome Wyvern... I think I got them all... too... thought the last one threw me fro a bit... rev...

Eq, First off, it's nice to see such a prolific new spring of talent in our hall. hmm, as far as your ending goes... that really depends on what you want to do with it. If you say the poems finished it's finished. However, you could expand the poem some by focusing on that "guilty conscious" reaction... i.e. ...um, well before I start that, to help set up the expansion you 'could' play around with your introduction of the "judging person." I asked that judging person Myself, i would tweak it to: I asked the judge I can't fully describe in coherent words what this does for the tone of the poem, but I know it does change it… maybe more metaphorical? Though, it might have just jumped out at me because, I avoid using "that" as much as possible, but that's justs me Anyway, one possibility could be to break the poem and insert a new stanza after your “Whim” question. This new stanza could serve as a resolution… similar to cadence in classical music. The new stanza could switch the focus/perspective of the poem from the ‘speaker’ to that of the ‘judge’…and then describe his/her reactions more thoroughly. However, this approach runs the risk of taking a simple poem and making it complex and cumbersome… Then again, you could declare this poem finished and just write a few Variations on it, with wyvern suggestions. As a side note, I found this poem by e.e. cummings. He ends his poem in similar varation on the way you end yours. e. e. cummings (1894-1962) Picasso 1Picasso 2you give us things 3which 4bulge: grunting lungs pumped full of sharp thick mind 5you make us shrill 6presents always 7shut in the sumptuous screech of 8simplicity 9(out of the 10black unbunged 11Something gushes vaguely a squeak of planes 12or 13between squeals of 14Nothing grabbed with circular shrieking tightness 15solid screams whispers.) 16Lumberman of the Distinct 17your brain's 18axe only chops hugest inherent 19Trees of Ego,from 20whose living and biggest 21bodies lopped 22of every 23prettiness 24you hew form truly

My heads really fuzzy from fasting and lack-of-sleep... but I seen in this or rather in you great potential... keep 'em coming Zariah... Hmm, ya know to this day, when duty calls of me to use shower shoes (ask Big P), I wear mismatched blue and tan flip-flops... I get a lot of remarks, like "ya know your shoes don't match..." or "what happened to the other two," and i'm like ..."oh they are prolly somewhere far, far away... maybe even submerged in korea rice field by now... Anyway, like your poem. would give better feedback,but head is swimming... have fun, rev...

sure why not. rev...

**messenger boy, T.P. a.k.a 'the mighty lawn dart' literally pops in...** T.P. carefully unfurls the parchment from his messenge tube and reads: Reverend Loremaster, Post whatever you would like that has come from the PM's... However, I am still stumped on the Round two Questions... I currently await the advise of my Master's staff before I proceed any further... Unfortunately Quest and Foutain still have not returned from the Murder Trial. I suspect the trial long-over at this point, and judging by their long absence, I can can only guess at what they are up to. yours, Castle of the dreamlost... With that the tiny messenger excused himself, and once again popped out of the pen... *** rev...

I like it, You poem make me think up another question to go along with it... "if you were falling, would you want to catch you???" Hey that could be a splitter poem... Stepping outside of yourself/situation is always fun... rev...

ya know, i had wondered about whole the funding issue... Truth is most of us ARE flat broke... rev...

I like your tone. I really like it... **Yells for the heralds and troubadores to come have at Equesters' well written piece** Hey somewhere better acquainted with Prose needs to comment on this... **Looks around** Zadown... Big P... Ozy... Yui... Stick... Gry? rev...

Welcome to the Pen Equester... I'm rev... Anyway, nice little meditation on the soothing effect of the sea... The 5,7,5 syllable base creates a calm and reflective flow, Also I see a possiblilty to 'turn' or 'tune' the tone a little by altering the tense of your last stanza... Look forward to more, revery the dreamlost "seldom known and seldom seen..." the dream continues...

Well, I got shot down in the second 'round... Good luck guys... Luckily I gave Castle the job of answering the Sphinx... So he' s doing it all via messenger boy... Currently messenger boy #1, Decoy, is sweating bullets... hoping his Fishsticks and Quail Egg Souffe go over well... His replacement, "Target Practice a.k.a. The Mighty Lawn Dart" is standing ready to step in should Decoy end up being disgested... rev...

*apologizes to Big P, if I cross a line here* Appy, hmm. I'll hazard a guess on this one. I think the author is trying say he want's to more to whoever it is he's writing it too. I.E. When you tell someone, "well having you is better than nothing." You're really not giving them much of a complement. Like, you could also say, "this pay check is better than nothing but really I would like it to be sooooo much more. " So, well that's the way, I took it. rev...

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. --James D. Nicoll "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby "That which makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely." - Lorraine Hansberry The best luck of all is the luck you make for yourself. - General Douglas MacArthur I have known war as few men now living know it. It's very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a means of settling international disputes. -Douglas MacArthur rev...

Perched percariously upon a bluff in the land of the dreamlost sat a sullen and morose Castle... Castle sighed listlessly, they had deserted him again... Castle looked out far over the bright town below... Somewhere he thought, their somewhere down there... Revery and the rest had all gone off to the local magistrate to straighten out an unexpected legal matter. Apparently a nefarious murder plot had taken place over the holidays... Supposedly it had even taken place in his own great hall... Silly really, but the local authorities seemed pretty adament about it. So much so, that they focibly marched Revery, Quest, and Fountain over the wall to account for the mishap. Seizing the Christmas Tree, its decorations, and what was left of Fountain's present as state evidence. They took them all down below for questioning... They even subpoena the dinner guests during the short notice Funeral Banquet they had work so hard to arrange. Castle wondered how'd they were doing, so summoning his scrying skills left over from the now almost forgotten guilds wars, he centered his attention on the town below. *** Flash to a Aging Court house in the town below... We find Revery, Quest, and Fountain in Chains before the magistrate. Peering over a set of his glasses, the elder magistrate read the charges, "Revery Castle-Builder Dreamlost, how do you and your party plead to the charges of Kidnapping, Agravated Assault, and Murder of Mr. Travis Cistern Abensai..." ...Looking Agast and very annoyed Revery begain, "Your honor, I object to theses charges. We did not Kidnap Mr. Abensai, He came of to my Castle..." Castle's Acading archways perked up at his name, and he started to following the scene more closely. "...of his own free will, seeking employment at my request; any assault on my or my associates part was regrettable and unintentional, and as to the charge of Murder, that is perposterous, this is clearly a case of Man-Slaugther not Murder, and the blame goes not myself of my fellow captors here in the court room, but to my misintentioned and idiotic Castle; who your officers dismissed as a mere structure incable of carrying out the charges set before us..." Castle had heard enough and turned his scry towards the horizon, looking for something else to amuse himself with... Focusing on in the Pen and it's Carboret Room... Castle read a posting from the Revered Lore Master... "Riddles? Oh why not..." Castle Hastlely scribled a note, willed it into the mind of one of his messengers ensuring to stock his pack with lot's of lunchen meat and cornbread muffins, and then sent him off the to Mighty Pen Fair Grounds. The note read: Reverend Lore Master and Founder... I will take up your challenge. Let loose you Riddle-Laden Arrows. yours, Castle of the dreamlost ***

V ...heh, could be worse. I agree with Zariah... try writing an IN character one too... might relieve some of that stress... rev...

Well thankfully most of my Relatives in Thailand live in Bangkok... so they were spared the brunt of it. I heard on CNN that the king's grandson was among one of the many who died... Nature doesn't descriminate... I think the epicenter was in Sumatra... rev...

number games? I think if you totally ignore the fact there are numbers then it's easier... ...got it first try... revery the dreamlost "to think outside the box, you must first be able to think inside the box..." the dream continues...

Screen opens with a Big Iconic P and H waving on a digitized tan and crismson banner proclaiming it's affliation to the coach potatoes at large The screen cuts to a den warmly lit by a modest fireplace, surrounding by a wall of bookshelve after bookshelve. Just in front of and to the right of the fireplace sat an Ancient Looking narrator garbed in an officail looking uniform adorned with many rippons and trinkets; he sat croached over struggling to lite an equally ancient and official looking uncopperative pipe in his hands. Responding to a what have must have been a frantic cue from one of the Camera men off screen, he abruptly cursed as he put the pipe away, sat up right, turned towards the camera, after a moment spent clearing his throat the narrator begin, "Good Morining and Welcome back the Penn History Channel... I am Commander S. M. Quest (retired) and today we will discussing Eastern Religion's Impact on Western Literature throughout history. "Our first subject focuses specifically on the role of Karmic Justice in the role of Narrative Poetry...So let us begin with Xradion's Poem Cycle: The Lone Dove... Part I Lone Dove Part II As I Walk Through the Valley Part III Metempschosis *** fun, fun rev...

Well Gry, beat to the punch in the Part III, but I agree it is an excellent Poem cycle. Part I Lone Dove Part II As I Walk Through the Valley Again, In part III the experience of death is illustrated, but with instant karmic effects... Actually reminds me of a scene in a Peers Anthony books... Where a squirrel saves the life of a man who had perviously granted the squirrl his last request in his last life... Only this poem evolves more rapidly... hmm, there's something, I wonder if it's allowed to describe a karmic poem in terms of evolution... heh. Well anyway bravo Xradion, bravo... rev...

The tone of cycle grows much stronger than Part II... I like how he somehow manages to encapsulate the experience of dying and what follows after... A not so simple task, but he's done it rather well, i think... Part I Lone Dove Part III Metempschosis rev...

I know Xradion, asked that we not comment on Part I and II of his three poem cycle, but I feel all three are worthy of comment and his leaving them in three seperate threads might have led to the full effect of his cycle being neglected and under-appreciated... Anyway, I believe this short cycle is one of the more creative approaches I've seen in Banquet Room. Part II As I Walk Through the Valley Part III Metempschosis Part I: Xradion's setting strikes me as calm and quiet... then takes a morbid turn building up for the impending shot... which happening just outside the poem breaks the silence... and set up Part II Hmm, Peace destroyed by War metaphore... nicely done. rev...

...fountain of the dreamlost absent mindedly wondered into the Carbaret Room, just in time to hear Zariah's request. Christmas, he thought? Well, Revery and Quest thought that just because the Holiday day break was upon us, didn't mean I got to be lax in my studies... So they pulled their collected resourses and hired me a full time tutor. A, Mr. Abensai, I believe... Anyway, Revery gave strict instructions to Quest and Castle have Mr. Abensai ready to meet me on Christmas day. Unfornately for my tutor, Quest got called away on some Great and Important Intergalatic quest in something called a Worm-Hole Far, Far Away. What's that? Oh yeah Worms-holes don't exactly fit the whole dreamlost fantasy scheme, but Quest likes to go both ways... Anyway, Commander Quest...(yes he insist we call him that when he puts on his space suit) got called away in his ridiculos looking Space Suit, so he left Castle in charge of the preperation. Now Castle being a castle, never did quite understand the whole being mortal thing, or even how exactly he should go about preparing Mr. Abensai to meet me. So he informed his sentries that Revery had left my Xmas present waiting in the Lobby, and that whatever it is should be secured, wrapped, appropately decorated, and ready for presentation beneath the tree by the appointed day. Well, that was 2 weeks ago, and imagine my surprise when I found Mr. Abensai, all decked out in Christmas Holly and tinsle under the tree. The sentries really went all out, he had little silver's bells on his lapel, a santa stocking cap clapped to his head, and silver and gold chains wound all around him securing him to the trunk of the tree. Oh since Castle didn't give any instruction regarding food or water... he was really quite dead at this point, but ya know, it really was a really nice thought. A akward silence followed Fountain's rememberance, and scanning the faces of the penites before him, Fountain noticed the looks of shock and horror. Oh don't worry about Mr. Abensai, Revery gave him a fine military funeral/christmas Pagent with full honors and everything. It went over so well, that Revery said we may even do one next year, but with a fulll regemental drum corps in battle dress with carriage rides for all. It will be so much amazing fun, I can't wait for next year. *** o.o.c. Oh for those that don't know, Fountain, Quest and Castle all are in the service of Revery... Fountain's his Apprentice, Quest is his assistant, and Castle is um, his castle. revery the dreamlost "You don't need Deck the Halls or jingle bell rock..." (A. Sandler) the dream continues...

**applauds** Bravo... Take a bow... Very Original and very funny... Write more... really. rev...

27DEC04 ***better late then never... *tapping streams* I Angels' tears fall frozen on the earth Frozen by the blind hearts of men -Each unique in it's own tragic melody Sharpened Softness for the blearry eyed... Drained white from wasted essence Searing cold memories upon the heads all they touch down apon... II Cast askew on the sturdy desk of misintention Running parallell to the matching grains spiralling off it's mantle Rests the crisom stained warrior. Laid upon the papers still in need of correcting The Implement of retribution waits...eager. Eager to do battle with the papers of the day... Be it mispelling, comma splice, or hanging participle The implement waits...ready. III Burning bright within my sight Her Veil adored by twinkling light Ethereal Jewel to you we pray Send not your son on to us prey A Bow pulled taunt With arrow aimed low Endless love or endless woe? IV Spare an Acorn Watch the show Our forest daredevil Is set to go Watch the Scamper up the trees Boughs by bough all at his ease Feed him soon so he’ll get fat Our tiny little acrobat… V Sugar spun shudders Fixed in the near of my eye As whispered wings flutter in the quietists of moments Though in my turning I find her gone Though the whispers linger forever… *** rev...