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peredhil31 An Ancient Polite Bard Posts: 940 (2/21/02 6:19:45 am) Reply ezSupporter Critic's Corner Contest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil watches as the Contestants scurry off to their corners, mumbling such rhyming words as defenistrate and Hooter's wet bar. The parchments begin to mount in discarded piles and broken Quills are thrown without regard of bystanders as the two dig into their projects. The crowd are loving it as the tension mounts. Wyvern has already hired cheap child labor to sell concessions, literally paying the small pink elephants with peanuts. Tzimfemme has set up a lawn chair and is lazily watching the Contest, sipping on a Hot Chocolate and watching Orlan strut back and forth with the large cue cards which announced the passing time and his telephone number. Occasional "Yo Momma" and "You so Fat" comments sling back and forth between the contestants, sizzling and scorching the air and an occasional Initiate too slow to move out of the way. The Ancients perch like silvering ravens along the grandstand box-seating, providing color commentary...

peredhil31 An Ancient Polite Bard Posts: 933 (2/19/02 7:56:04 pm) Reply ezSupporter Critic's Corner Contest -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil comes in and clears his throat. A challenge has been issued, the Gauntlet thrown! Given a word, or two word phrase, there shall be a Poetic write-off. The time will start with this Post. The final entries must be posted her, labelled in the Subject Line: Critic's Corner Contest Entry (to avoid confusion with any Role Playing or Smack-Talking posts). The Contest Entries are due by Friday the 22nd of February, 9:00 PM (21:00) West Coast Time. That's Midnight, (0000) East Coast Time. Judging will be done by all the Pen Membership, Present and Past, Page and Higher. Votes are due in by 9:00 PM Sunday. The Elder of Lists will tally the Votes and post the results in the Cabaret. In this Corner, Gestures to the left, is Cheyenne! Over on this side, Gestures to the right, Excedrin. Let the contest begin, the Topic Phrase (Creativity should count) is:

Wyvern00 Elder of Initiates Posts: 537 (3/15/02 8:51:30 pm) Reply "Final Death" by Orlan -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For those that haven't had a chance to read it yet: Check the Assembly Room I read through it, and it's definatly some great stuff. Good characterization and drama, which are the two things that drive any excellent story. I liked how Talenth was introduced through Usuiai's tale, and turned out to be in the bar all along, correcting Usuiai on his age before casually leaving after having killed the tax collector. Another thing I liked were the various moments of subtle humor, such as when Dayane calls Ippiden "Ippy" or when Ganness recites an 'ode to the chest'. They slightly lightened the mood of an otherwise very serious story, and kept the reader on his toes... I'm uncertain if it's finished yet, since we haven't seen Talenth do his dirty work for the resistance as of yet (though it could be, as we know the immortal vagabond is gonna kick some serious behind ;p). Thus far, my fave character would have to be Dayane, simply because she's the voice of sanity of the story and the rebel that all can relate to. Talenth is also quite interesting, as his presence comes off as quite mysterious... He sort of reminds me of the classic loner ronin with a touch of immortality, a sort of cross between Ogami Itto (of "Lone Wolf and Cub"), Jubei (of "Ninja Scroll"), and the main character of "Blade of the Immortal" (who's name completely slips my mind). Anyway, captivating stuff. ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 3/15/02 8:55:17 pm

Yui Temae Huntress Posts: 182 (3/15/02 7:17:33 am) Reply Re: Erm... Many Poems by HLaH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Between all those things, I don't know how you have time to write at all, Porcelain! Still, I join the people who are very glad that you manage. Throughout your repertoire, your skill at writing to draw forth emotions in your reader is what impresses me the most. I'm glad to see that you can convey not only your hurt and sadness, but also your joy and hope. Keep writing, please.

Heart Like A Hole Honored Guest Posts: 23 (3/14/02 11:49:03 pm) Reply Re: Erm... Many Poems by HLaH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you, friends, for the encouragement and compliments. It does my heart good to know that others are reading and enjoying my work. And Peredhil, I rather like being in love more so than being in pain. Thank you for all you've done for me. I don't know if I could have gotten this far without your helping hand. Gyr, thank you as well for being a constant source of praise and support. Your few lines of praise are ever-sure to bring a smile to my face and encourage me to keep writing. Thanks again to all who read my work and hopefully, I'll have more time to post in the future... Between work, high school, my home life, and my fiance`, I don't often have as much time to write as I'd like. Oh well. I'll be graduating in May, so hopefully, my posting habits will become more consistent then. Take care, everyone, and Blessed Be. ~Porcelain "Heart Like a Hole" .......amor vincit omnia......

Zephryin Initiate Posts: 16 (3/12/02 1:58:15 pm) Reply Re: Erm... Many Poems by HLaH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me as well. Unfortunately, I have about as much poeticism as a lobotomized water buffalo.

Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 295 (3/8/02 10:43:13 pm) Reply Re: Erm... Many Poems by HLaH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Gyr nods* I enjoy reading them when I have the time. =)

peredhil31 An Ancient Polite Bard Posts: 973 (3/8/02 4:57:26 am) Reply ezSupporter Erm... Many Poems by HLaH -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Banquet Hall, Heart Like a Hole Welcome indeed! I'm really a-liking reading you in love, instead of pain. You have such a strong ability to speak your heart in terms that others can feel, to encode emotions in words. Really good stuff, true 'Gut' poetry. (You feel it in your own guts when you read it.) -Peredhil

Yui Temae Huntress Posts: 177 (3/13/02 11:39:06 am) Reply Re: The lil snowball war -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mademoiselle Celes, I'll be sure to read it over and give you my opinion, if you'll give me a few days to find the time. I want you to know that I've enjoyed the story and your 'quirky kids'.

Lady Celes Crusader Quill-Bearer Posts: 194 (3/12/02 11:33:02 pm) Reply The lil snowball war -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've translated Part 1 and 2 already. I would like to have some opinions about it because I would like to know if the translation is faithful enough with the original story. The reason why I'm most demanding about this particular translation job? We'll I've put lots of time to create this bunch of quirky kids and the quirks are a fundamental part of the story.

Lady Celes Crusader Quill-Bearer Posts: 110 (2/3/02 12:36:42 pm) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The 5th chapter is done! Clodieau will try to catch Romulus' team off guard. Meanwhile, Taupius and Pommulus relations are still tense. Will Clodieau's plan succeeds? Will Taupius and Pommulus will put their antagonism aside and help Romulus' team to protect their fort?

Lady Celes Crusader Page Posts: 76 (1/9/02 9:32:34 pm) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The 4th installement is done! Clodieau is embittered by the dangerous ways Taupius is using for achieving victory. However, he created a trap of his own design, will the ennemy fall for it?

Lady Celes Crusader Page Posts: 67 (12/26/01 12:23:27 am) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Part 3 is done! This time, its Clodieau team's turn to assault Romulus' fort. The attack seems to overwhelm the "Big Guys" team. However, Taupius comes up with a plan. Will it succeeds?

Lady Celes Crusader Page Posts: 61 (12/21/01 2:20:56 pm) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You have made a tremendous effort dear! Je fais de gros efforts pour comprendre vos mots! <= Correctly written! Tristement, mon vocabulaire pour parler le français est plutôt petit. <==. Malheureusement (Unfortunatly) is more appropriate than Tristement (Sadly). It would be simple to say, mon vocabulaire français est limité (my french vocabulary is limited). Je dû utiliser un dictionnaire pour la plupart de ces mots! J'ai dû... instead of Je dû, te reste of this sentence is good. Ne peut pas attendre les traductions! Je ne peut pas attendre les traductions! In French you must always put the pronouns before the verbs (imperative is the sole exception). The remain of this other sentence is excellent. Mais faites-les seulement si vous avez le temps! Very well written too. See the imparative exception. For the first steps, always keep it simple. Then, slowly, you can integrated more complexe ways of writtings. I've learned my English in a faster pace outside School than within school. Thanks to the fact that I'm surrounded in an environnement which have lots of English tv-shows, movies, music, people, etc. it is easier for me to improve and practice my English. As I said, the translation will come out after the 6 parts are written, unless Wyvern or someone else has time to translate it.

andrea hawk Initiate Posts: 14 (12/21/01 10:09:12 am) Reply . -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (This message was left blank) Edited by: andrea hawk at: 2/11/02 7:22:00 pm

Lady Celes Crusader Page Posts: 50 (12/20/01 7:49:58 pm) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fiou, I've pulled out the 2nd installement of this story. This time, both team is preparing for the first battle. While Claudieau's team was still under preparation, Romulus team sieges the fort. Who will win?

Lady Celes Crusader Page Posts: 50 (12/20/01 7:49:58 pm) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fiou, I've pulled out the 2nd installement of this story. This time, both team is preparing for the first battle. While Claudieau's team was still under preparation, Romulus team sieges the fort. Who will win?

Lady Celes Crusader Initiate Posts: 48 (12/20/01 12:38:16 am) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ah-Ah French lesson here: From Wyvern: "Je l'aime beaucoup jusque la! C'est vraiment un idee' tres originale et tout a' fait dans l'esprit du Noel. Pas seulement pour les batailles du niege, mais pour la nature du bonne humeur de la texte. Je suis vraiment impatient de lire la continuation... " "Je l'aime beaucoup jusque là !": Very good! If you can configure your Keyboard so you can type the French accents properly, I'll be glad to tell you where are the keys. "C'est vraiment un idee' tres originale et tout a' fait dans l'esprit du Noel.": C'est vraiment une idée originale: Yes idée is feminine so you have to put UN and ORIGINAL to the feminine gender. "et tout à fait dans l'esprit de Noël." Since Noël is treated as a proper noun, "du" is never used when you mean of. "Pas seulement pour les batailles du niege, mais pour la nature du bonne humeur de la texte.": This is where you've got the hardest time, but no worry, I'll tell you how and why we must write it that way. "Non seulement pour les batailles de neige, mais aussi pour la bonne humeur que l'on retrouve dans le texte." The expression "Pas seulement" was a correct translation of "Not only" but, if you use it as a this type of enumeration "Non seulement" is more appropriate. Then again there's a mixed up between "de" and "du". "du" is only used for masculine gender nouns, "neige" is feminine. For the last part of that sentence, we don't use nature with good humour and I add "aussi" since your sentence sounds like ,but also for the good humor we found in the texte. "Texte" is a masuline gender so you could have said "bonne humeur du texte" but I've added "que l'on retrouve" since the "humeur" is found in the text, its not the text itself which has a good humor. Pheww... After this brief French lesson, I'd appreciate your help Wyvern. I'll probably revise the translation because the kids sometimes uses slangish words. The title should be translated as: "The 'lil snowwar" Have fun and thanks for the positive comment

Wyvern00 Elder of Initiates Posts: 291 (12/19/01 10:11:43 pm) Reply Re: La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Je l'aime beaucoup jusque la! C'est vraiment un idee' tres originale et tout a' fait dans l'esprit du Noel. Pas seulement pour les batailles du niege, mais pour la nature du bonne humeur de la texte. Je suis vraiment impatient de lire la continuation... For those of you who don't speak French here (which is many of you) Celes' story is excellent so far. It's very original, and is about a snowball war between to groups of mage children. While the children swear to not use magic while fighting with snowballs, they agree to use it when making their snow forts. A group of phantasm mage children cover their snowfort in illusion while the opposing group of mages strengthen the walls and endurance. I love the good humored nature of this Christmas text, and can't wait to read the continuation! If you'd like, I could try to translate it... [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 12/19/01 10:12:32 pm

Lady Celes Crusader Initiate Posts: 47 (12/18/01 2:56:06 pm) Reply La tite guerre des neiges -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Since that Christmas spirit engurlf me, I decided to write a story about kids snowwar. I'm planning 6 parts to this story, part one is already written. I must apologies that the translations will come only after the 6 chapters are written, so it might take a while for you to have all the chapters translated (unless someone else does the translation job).

peredhil31 An Ancient Polite Bard Posts: 971 (3/1/02 7:46:10 pm) Reply ezSupporter Re: Pineapples and Mentors -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is great! wanders out laughing

Turi Page Posts: 19 (3/1/02 7:23:14 pm) Reply Re: Pineapples and Mentors -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- well, as I said in the chat... I made the story Gwaihir a dwarf so you could tell people that it's not the same character gives me more freedom... if you think this is weird... just wait until they meet Snow Storm the dragon... The dragon got the name "Snow Storm" for a reason ehmm

gwaihir1 Elder of Lists and Poetry Posts: 126 (3/1/02 7:06:22 pm) Reply Pineapples and Mentors -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Turi, this is tremendous. My suggestions were rediculous, but you made something really neat out of them, hillarious. (Btw, this Gwaihir is glad to be an elf, not as if that affects your dwarven one though : ) ---------- I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark

Brute3 Initiate Posts: 14 (3/1/02 8:40:14 am) Reply Re: The Dark Queen's Revenge -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The dwarf wanted to make this reply, but he couldn't seem to open the door. Probably too damned short to reach the doorknob. ANyway, THe story will be rewritten, deleted and re-posted within the next few days. It wasn't that good, and I can do better. I have failed myself in that the ideas that roam within my mind for this story have suffered a great injustice by my impatience and desire for brevity over quality. It needs to be told correctly, for it has become kinda important to me, in some way. This is for my benefit mainly. A way of talking aloud, I guess. Although, should one certain someone read this, I wish to thank her for pointing out to me what I knew needed to be done. Thanks, Yui. I can do better. Brute O Drunken One

Jechum LoreMaster Posts: 270 (2/19/02 12:33:29 am) Reply Re: The Dark Queen's Revenge -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Perfectionism is nice but don’t let it keep you from writing. One of my favorite singers made a comment that the public likes trash. It seems the songs that he works only 10 minutes on with simplistic melodies always become the #1 hits. While his complicated works that sometimes takes months to complete never seem to make the charts. So one he does for money the other he does for personal growth. I say share your talent and let the public enjoy. Jechum Newbie, Mage of Shadows the Pen is Mightier than the Sword - Lore Master