Peredhil

neat. Really captures the feel/fear/uncertainty. Hopperwolf already said my comment.

A happy fun poem? A silly light-hearted poem? Yay! I'm a-likin' this.

I'm glad you're writing poetry, and not only chatting. You have a strong 'voice'. Your first poems seemed hesitant, like a singer warming up. With this poem, you're definitely hitting your stride. I see a great deal of improvement. Tight poem, doesn't wander. All the lines lead to the point of the poem, the loneliness of being the outsider, (You'll find MANY people here who can relate to THAT feeling (welcome, hugs)) without getting overly dramatic or graphic. Really frees the reader to engage their imagination, and involve themself in the poem. Good job. -Peredhil

Freestyling words bubble like buboes from my neck but yo yo yo I'm just to Polite to say things worse than heck I'm a rappin' bard with a literary tool a Polite half-elf that ain't no fool Like the man in Pocohontas I'm alikin' gruel crosses his arms kinda goofy I'm a Penster menacer and a poetic jewel. Yeah. Word up. I'm a spamming anti-spamming literary critic My ever-so-nice posts can be quite acidic I'm an RPing poetically writing poster I keep a warm red Mountain Dew on my coaster I can't hip-hop, rhyme, rap but I'm a boaster puts his face far too close to the camera I like English Muffins slightly burnt in my toaster! Yo. Word down. and around. quite profound. nonterminating decimals numbered red and green us pronouncing polyonymous NPCs with lisping lenis Languets thrusting through teeth sounding out Pen the Langue indeterminant from Keep to Den Are we writing works, playing games, meeting with a friend turns his baseball cap backward, 'Salvation Army tag' covers one eye. Do we dig with a shovel or hoe, PM with a send? Lighthearted fustian mellifluous babble!

It's nice to be reminded of the joys of parenting once in a while.

nice symbolism. I think I'd rather be a stars and moon guy.

Peredhil looked down as Rune bumped his knees. "A grammar beast! They live within the walls, twisting grammar and spelling. We TRIED a spell that would make all the works within the Pen keep perfectly spelled and formatted." He scythes as the Beast fleas from Peredhil's purrfect gramma. "We had a mispelling in the original spell. Now within the Keep's walls the beasts roam. Nearly all of the mistakes in the works here are their fault." Bending and taking Rune's hand tenderly, he led her back to Josh, musing aloud, "It's a good thing you didn't run into Gonad The Grammarian. He's a wild barbaric fellow, who wields the oversized sword known as the Critic's Tongue. It drips acid." At Rune's worried look, he smiled down. "Don't fear! He hunts Grammar Beasts almost exclusively.

Oh boy, you do give hard problems. my best guesses are as follows. The thing that saves me on this is that I studied a lot of other religions before I settled on Christianity. I like to know WHY I believe something. Peredhil realizes he just doesn't trust people's opinions on some subjects. Poem 1 Frau Ava 1100s. She was the first German woman poet I think. Poem 2 Jalal-e-Din Rumi around turn of the century 1200 A.D. Really good Muslem mystic writer. Poem 3 This is Egyptian, 1100s B.C.? Poem 4 Definitely Sappho of Lesbos. 600s B.C. (end of 500, beginning of 600). One woman poetess gave her nation's name as a title for a sexual preference. Now that is power. Every Lesbian I've met since has been cranky about it. Remind me to tell you the story of Dimitri, the Special Forces, former citizen of Lesbos, who was gonna break arms the next time someone laughed when he said he was Lesbian by birth. (The blank is ‘darling’ I think) Poem 5 This kinda cheats, because it’s two different areas of the Song of Solomon from the AKJV bible. Poem 6 This is a hispano-arabic jarcha. I don’t know where from, but it fits the structure. I'm not sure who did this translation. Poem 7 This has the format of an Indian Veda. Been a while since I’ve read it, but I’d guess the Kama Sutra, the section dealing with Vishnu. Poem 8. Sufi holy writings. Rabi‘a or Hallaj, I think. Sorry I didn't match to your ABC answers.

The person above has a Red Crayon, and the demonic powers to use it to affect the fabric of our Virtual Reality...

very visually compelling. Interesting use of line breaks/formatting. at the end: "We must" feels ... incomplete... when I read it out loud. That does set up a tension which fits that part of the poem - was it intended? The irony of going out to fight, only to come back and find a new head of government is really presented well. Have you had someone else read it aloud to you? Might give you an idea on how the punctuation/breathing is forming in someone else's mind. I liked it.

Peredhil stops and looks at Elvida, and thinks it over. Yes, I know you're right. Movies such as Animal House, Police Academy, Dumb and Dumber, American Pie - these all tell us that crude humor which appeals to the eight-year-old in all of us, CAN be funny. It can be clever as well. And there are MANY web sites on the web, in which you can find that sort of humor. Up to lately, that hasn't been the case here at the Pen. While we enjoy our humor, and occasionally descend into crudity even, the Pen is about nuturing good writing and writers. It's a literary site. I suppose part of it for me is that I'm basically a gentle person who is very capable at doing violent things. Some types of humor, based on pain or cruelty, just don't appeal to me at all. It lacks word play, a clever twists, syntactic delight. Kas' used literary skills to capture in text a particular dialect, and gently made fun of it using the figure of speach Hyperbole. I did find that funny. This is not to slam you, or anyone. This is to communicate MY feelings, MY opinions. In a web site dedicated to writing, I feel open and honest communication is a key component. "An honest answer is the sign of a true friend." With a bow, Peredhil saunters off.

I like it. For me, I read it as a metaphor for a relationship. The uncertainty of not knowing where you stand with someone (being in the dark), and how we bruise ourselves with miscommunications. It's really easy to 'stumble on you' and be hurt... Good poem.

Rah!!! Great going Hanna. Shouts a few times in the shoutbox It gives me a way to delete my shouts, as well as look at other people's messages. Kinda like a primitive chatroom in a way. Since I'm using Internet Explorer, I just press the F5 key occasionally to refresh. You Rox0r.

dress warmly. Get out and get your blood pumping. take your brother out and throw snow at him. look at pictures of Australia and New Zeland on the internet. Write more poems. Write your inner thoughts and problems, your selfdoubts and criticisms on some paper. take them outside and burn them. watch them go up in smoke. I remember school as being one of my structured places - I loved school for the interactions, the people, the teachers, and the learning. I can relate to that line quite a bit. If you're between the ages of 14 and 21, you're more likely (genetically) to want to spend time with friends and acquaintances that family - school is usually the meeting place. hang in there please. Hugs Peredhil

beautiful. Blessed is the man that finds a wife.

It's true, Falcon, that with numbers Neighbors just become someone who live near. But the Pen culture, in my web experience, is unique and worth something. How can the new be welcomed, grow, and write if we don't teach them? Correct errors (isn't that what feedback is all about?) while cherishing the person. New and young means energy and fresh viewpoints. Old and experienced means direction and continuity. Both are important, and must be balanced. Sighs. but then, I think that only those who don't need this thread are reading it.

Peredhil winces as the humor requiring crudity rather than cleverness, then passes on in hopes of Writing.

The person above me has a heart as warm as the weather currently outside his house is cold.

Actually, I think the female population of Lesbos isn't that big...

Peredhil wanders in after actually getting a couple hours of sleep-sleep, not mind-at-500-mph-sleep. The question occurs... Couldn't personal real-life information questions of this nature be asked in a Private Message? He scratches his head. Having had a niece get stalked by someone who picked up her information off an innoculous forwarded email, I supposed I'm just a bit too protective... But it would be nice if we protect each other, letting them reveal what they will, and not doing it for them. Just as a suggestion from an Semi-senile Ancient Half-Elf... What do y'all think?

lol heh. like this

The Weenies were a way of noting who was still active and who wasn't. Since this IS a writing guild, the way of 'working off a weenie' was also instituted to let us know that someone was back. In creating an account, and checking in here, it constitutes such a confirmation of activity. 'Sides, I was so happy with Hanna for making this new site happen, all Weenies have dissolved in a recognition of her tender and forgiving nature.

Figures of Speech. A "Figure of speech" relates to the form in which the words are used. It consists in the fact that a word or words are used out of their ordinary sense, or place, or manner, for the purpose of attracting attention to what is thus said. A Figure of speech is a designed and legitimate departure from the laws of language, in order to empahsise what is said. This peculair form or unusual manner may not be true (or so true,) to the literal meaning of the words; but it is more true to their real sense, and truer to truth. Dr. Bullinger, in Figures of speech classified about 217 figures, some with varieties and subdivisions. Some examples include: Allegory (Continued comparison by representation and implication.) Teaching a truth about one thing by substituting another for it which is unlike it. Amcebaeon (Refrain). The repetition of the same phrase at the end of successive paragraphs. Simile (resemblance) A declaration that one thing resembles another. Fred is like a dog. Metaphor (representation) A declaration that one thing is (or represents) another. Fred IS a dog. Hypocatastasis (implication) An implied resemblance or representation. (when talking about Fred:) Dog! Hyperbole (Exaggeration) When more is said than is literally meant. plus many more...

The person above me is a Bella Donna.

great!