Peredhil

Hugs and picks Poetic Justice from his pocket.

Exceptionally good. The grammar/spelling does tarnish your otherwise golden imagery. I enjoyed reading this. Reminded me of a Tarot reading in a way. The inverted Fool becoming the Hanged Man, crossed by the Magician, progressing through the World and Tower, betrayed by the Lovers, etc etc. I think it's difficult to write a meaningful Fairy Tale now-a-days. You've succeeded. -P

While I'm not the most educated on hip-hop, this sounds pretty tight to me.

Keyboard definitely. It allows my fingertips to flow before the Censor in my mind can check (and delete it) for clarity, consistency, content, etc. In the days of Pen and Paper, The blank page would defeat me and I'd end up defenestrating the pad. word processing definitely.

Since LotG has never joined the Pen except as a Guest, I don't think he can even see the new area Zool...

And now I need to print this and compare with the poem. Very insightful and full of things I tend to do intuitively. I used to have to think about some of these things - and I should again. Reminds me of the Concert Pianist that discovered he had difficulty playing scales when he tried to teach his son. His comment makes a grand aphorism: "Always take time to relearn the basics." Thank you Cyril.

I like this so far.

Cheers Cyril as Da Feedback MAN! Heh, I love your feedback - even if it were all an illusion - and you didn't think before you posted - you cause ME to think. Hugs and sits back to listen.

Peredhil rereads this thoughtfully... Remind me not to mess with your Wiggly Cabbages...

Welcome... Feel free to write here. The standards are loosely listed in the Codex, link at the top of every page. I look forward to seeing some of your work. -Peredhil

I wish I'd read this back when I was really into Greek Mythology. It has that classical air about it, and summons the feelings I had from then. Nifty.

Impatience... Yes. I think my most dangerous times weren't the ones where I felt unloved, misunderstood, dramatic, or any of the 'reasons'. I think they were times when I'd felt so badly, for no reason, for so long, that I had no energy or desire to feel anything any more at all. Perhaps it IS an endurance race.

I like this. I think we all feel insane inside our own heads, if we are ruled by passion. I look forward to catching all your poetry in one play, where I can work through it and watch your growth, like counting rings in a severed tree trunk.

Oophm. With the impact of a body blow. Good writing! hugs

Peredhil stepped from the still shuddering van and looked at the smoldering rubber tracks behind it. He looked at Mr. Vincent. With a sigh and a hand gesture, he summoned a Portal for Guido and Nuncio, who were laughing so hard with their paws over their mouths that they would obviously be no help at all. "Are you SURE?" He recoiled a bit at the snarl. "I'm sensing a great deal of hostility about the slowness of Promotions of late. You know, the Elders have done a GREAT deal of talking on that very subject of late." Vincent whirled, his eyes flashing. "TALK! Even my online personae are gonna die of old age before action is taken!!!" "I'm sorry, I don't think it's that bad. Is that how it feels to you?." Another snarl and Vincent twisted away again, at the limits of his control. His hands worked spasmodically. All he'd wanted was a simple kidnapping, a great roleplaying thread, and an overdue promotion. Then this puppy-eyed Polite nitwit had interfered! Just ONE MORE WORD from Peredhil and he knew he was going to SNAP! And he knew he'd feel all guilty cause Peredhil would probably help him to kick him! "Do you need a hug?" Came the hesitant helpful voice. His inarticulate scream conveyed volumes to the suddenly alert Bodyguards. It was times like these that they were glad Elrohir had made the Boss forge their Faerie Dragon Rings. There was a pop of displaced air and their suits smoldered slightly, but they reached Peredhil before the frothing Vincent could. Nuncio lost his fedora as they pulled Peredhil through the portal, which imploded with a *plop* Only Vincent, the cooling van, and the trailing words "Thank you for the riiiiiide" hovering in the air remained. Meanwhile back at the Pen, the Elders sat looking at various time pieces as Wyvern counted the Peredhil Pool money over and over. The turned at the arrival of the Giant Guinea Pigs and Peredhil, the Pig's suits still trailing small blue flames - which they proceded to beat on putting out. Ignoring Peredhil's cheery, "I'm back, such a nice young man," greeting, they huddled around the table checking the grids of names and times. Wyvern's wail rose above the crowd like a wounded child, bereft of his binky. "THE WIGGLY CABBAGES??? Who bought a slot for the CABBAGES???"

wow. Pictures deadly stilleto dance in dark alleys. wow. Pictures the eyes focused on THE spot of skin, dimpled between vertebrea, the only thought - will I feel anything but grating bone? wow....

Oh so mood dependent! Today, the person I am would reply... Arianne in the Cherryh Cyteen books. The essential lonliness of intelligence mixed with passion. Miles (or maybe Mark...) Vorsigan in the Bujold series. The constant whirl and reaction of trying to get through situation after situation while pretending some modicom of control. Perhaps Boromir in the LotR... The love for others that turns out to be helpless in the face of external influences and events. A sense of misuse by Destiny, even knowing it will all work to a greater good. Hmmm. This is a non-trivial question to me. I'll have to think on it.

Peredhil looked about the back of the dingy van. Swaying gracefully to the bouncy ride, he mused aloud even as he listened. "An automobile! How quaint. Haven't seen one of these since that Rifts place the boys and I wandered through. I wonder how he managed to get the primitive distillant hydro-carbons here in the Pen area?" He listened with a smile as the twin thumps announced the arrival of his Bodyguards atop the vehicle, and made a mental note to send out for pizza when they all arrive at the Kidnappers Hooch. Kidnappers so often didn't plan ahead in his experience. Gazing about himself with a slight frown, he pulled a monogrammed hanky from his pocket. With a few Words, it was soon the size of a picnicker's sheet. Draping it artistically over the tires and odd weapons scattering the the rear of the van, he prepared to be a Good Kidnap Victim. Gazing forward through the locked grill mesh separating the back of the van from the driver's compartment, he sang out brightly, "So! Here we go! How long have you had these feelings of aggression? Would you like a biscuit? If you have any external wounds, I could heal them - I'm a Healer you know. "Why I recall, was it the Nineth or Tenth world the boys and I wandered, there was this sweet Ogre that tried to kidnap me. Elladan, of course, was going to kill the poor fellow out of hand, but it turned out he had a dietary deficiency and needed calcium supplements. "You aren't going to try something silly like grinding bones to make bread are you? Bits of the stone get into the dough and can wear down your teeth. "You ARE taking care of your teeth I hope? That reminds me of the Vampire in ... was it Fifteen? ... Anyway... no no, it was Fourteen, and his name was Hortemor, but he wanted everyone to call him Vladmir. We ended having some self-affirming talks about that personal deception, I remember them quite clearly - perhaps you'd be interested? Might give you insights into your own condition. Where was I? "Teeth! He had an abcessed canine, in the erectile tissues, and was in agony. Had developed the most clever contraption for piping the blood directly from the neck to his mouth so it wasn't contaminated by contact with air - that being important to the quality or taste, I don't recall that part. Although I'm sure with a bit of thought I could if you're really interested in the details?" Peredhil droned on and on cheerfully as the van sped away... Guido and Nuncio clung to the top. "'ey Nun'." "Yes Brother?" "Did youse get soma da Wyv's action?" "No, I thought you would." "How long 'till da Boss drives him over da edge?" "I really think he might try gagging him first, isn't that what they usually do?" They looked at each other and began sniggering quietly...

Too descriptive??? I think this ROCKS!

feels his heart lurch and skip a beat at the first two stanzas, all the flashback memories evoked. Continues reading and finds the darkness dispelled. Really reached out and grabbed me. Thank you for posting it.

Good Poem, good points. Thank you for expressing the context as well as the jewel of a finished work.

Removes the back of his languishing hand from his brow long enough to point out that he's entered nearly every contest the Archmage Conservatory had, and the Pen has. Falcon, Wyvern, Revery have run contests for individual events. A Pen contest weekly, judged by the Pen itself, would prolly be nice, as long as everyone was Polite and no one chose to have their feelings hurt. Peredhil goes back to his dramatic languishing, practicing for when Broadway goes on strike.

Clever idea. Could the fragile creative souls we carry bear the harsh rankings of competition. I'm not sure I could ever compete against the others... Casts himself on the couch and languishes for all he's worth.

Wow, how did I miss this? That's achingly beautiful, but to me at this side of life, very sad. If you wait for others to fulfil or free you, you hold yourself in bondage to others... The seed knows the way to grow, and what it will become. Give up fear, and dare to grow as your heart calls you. -Peredhil

Haunting... beautiful. Thank you Wren, for directing this to me. The warmth of the hands, the timeless moment of companionship, an eddy in the bitter cold march of time. I wish I could read French and catch all the nuances of the original. -Peredhil