Peredhil

As I'm getting older rapidly, a few questions: 1) is there a cut off date to discussion? 2) have we determined which of the volunteers will take the lead on this? Winces at the idea of another Pen committee after working with the Elders. 3) do we have enough discussion that a leader-type can implement structure and decision - perhaps one of those vote thingies? Pauses and scratches his senile head. what is this thread about?

Wow. I've tried on three occasions to do this assignment, and I'm just not able to get into the iambic meter, better yet a pentameter. brutal! I'm gonna have to come back to this. For some reason, I'm not 'hearing' the stress in my mind's ear. Have you ever noticed that the stanzas for the song, "They're coming to take me away" has hard stresses on all the even syllables?

Hmmm. Better get up and take a walk! but seriously, this small poem is like the capsule container of a deadly drug. such dangerous thoughts so well presented. There's a lot of darkness that lurks within those brave enough to explore their interiors.

Reminds me of a poetic rendition of one of my favorite chapters in Proverbs. That's pretty spiffy stuff!

the Monty Python group produced a number of classic movies, and their telly show was simply smashing. They, and Firesign Theater, pushed all sorts of boundaries which opened doors for other comedians to enter and explore.

Every time I write about you, Tralla M'Dear, you blush and tell me to stop...

you should be proud. Chip off the multiple-grain block.

That was pretty raw and powerful - which was probably the intent. communicated descriptively without getting too graphic. Done well enough to earn two 'icky!' awards.

Rushes in moaning "Noooooooooooooooo!" Halts at the cheshire grin of the diminuative demoness fading while her giggle still lingers in the air. I've been HAD! heh, at times like these I think she earns those nubbly little horns...

Waves his hand and bounces up and down. Oh! oh! Me! Me! I'm interested!

Broke your Writer's Block? Smashed it with a hammer! Act in the passion of the moment, repent at leisure - in song format! Welcome back.

I took the liberty of editing it to replace the angled brackets (which were being read as html code) with square ones. Having watched my boys and their friends play Starcraft, and Brood Wars, I can appreciate this. You really gave an authentic voice to the action.

wow. You need no disclaimers Hun'. One thing life at the Pen teaches. We're all insecure, and the best lesson you can learn is to keep your mouth shut except to say thank you... Don't disclaim, don't point out flaws they over-looked. Don't implicitly tell them they were wrong and have poor judgement when they say "good" by you saying, "not really". It's hard to accept praise - but a useful lesson. You accept it for them when you can't for you. Hugs

I like this. It strikes a chord - anger is a form of involvement, and a manipulator can work with it, spin it, use it. And since the type has no other relationship tool than manipulation, when a relationship they actually want goes sour - they're doubly stuck. A quiet goodbye is a death knell.

Yes! I DID miss you. Welcome back in a big way - good song. Of course, as you could predict, knowing me... I think there is so much more to life! Hugs Welcome home to the Pen. -Peredhil

It's not the manner in which we're raised (although that's a common excuse). It's the choices we make, the way we accept or reject the values and experiences with which we were instilled. There are no excuses in life, only mitigating circumstances and choices... If you couldn't tell - I liked this.

I like the flow, and I like the descriptive words you chose - they fit without being pretentious. Project for future poems, perhaps... using explicit punctuation at the ends of lines instead of implicit punctuation formed by the breaks?

Very good. Heh, those who insists on settling for nothing less than perfection - always are miserable and have less than perfection. perfection's the destination, but as you point out so wonderfully in the poem, life is the journey - enjoy all the scenery!

Oh wow! Good follow-up! You have a knack for believable human action/reaction chains of behavoir.

Peredhil looks dazed. You mean, all those IQ tests... You DON'T add them up?!? I was up to 98! Sighs. By the way - great poem, great subject, and clever acrostic. It's so cool to watch someone grow as a writer, right before our eyes. One reason I love the Pen so! -P

LOL A paean to paranoia! Exits chuckling

This is really good well done. Not only do you express feeling to which many can relate- you do it in an easily readable manner. good job.

Oh! I like! We need more science fictiony stuff.

heh, Makes me want to reread Saberhagen's "Thorn" again...

When I read this, I hear in it my mind as a song. Something like 'six pence none the richer' would sing sorta thing (that's a good thing in my book). I wish I could write the music and send it to you, but it's too quiet to reach the surface. Enjoyable read!