Peredhil

Peredhil frowns protectively at the idea of anyone hitting his "online daughter" Arwen. A very cautionary tale indeed. It's difficult, when you love someone selfish, to not hope they will change, time after time. But without a strong motivation, very few do. Why should they? Hugs Peredhil

Heh. I've noticed that when you're happy, you have fewer excuses in life... fewer reasons not to risk success.

I liked this on multiple levels. quality over quantity, eh?

I'm just fine here in the "D.C. area". Sounds like the blackout is much further north.

In the shadow lies The gentle curve of a knowing smile. In the shadow walks A Huntress of the petty and mean. In the shadow dwells Someone I have come to love. Happy Birthday Yui-Chan.

Having met both, Peredhil concurs with Damon I think you both are very fortunate in your choice of each other. The two of you complement each other exceedingly well. I just love it when life works the way I feel it should.

Here's in hopes that you enjoy your twenty-second year - and that you post more! -Peredhil

reviews the thread so far. I kinda don't like thread creep, taking the focus away from Parmenion's excellent poem. He writes about realities of the world from an interesting perspective - the majority of the time I enjoy reading his works. I would say I enjoy all of them - but I don't like making sweeping generalizations. And I think that might be where the misunderstanding on the rest of the thread has entered. Dragolin, here at the Pen, we're very aware of how much courage it takes some people to post a work which is coming from the heart. How easy it is for some to listen to the criticism of the one voice in the crowd who says, "that sucked" no matter how many others loved it - because it reflects our inner fears that we just aren't good enough. So when an assertive sweeping generalization is made, such as "but the best poems are written without it", we tend to react protectively of our membership. If you'd originally stated "in my opinion, the best poems are written without it" then you'd have owned your statement, and there might've been some discussion. Additionally, if you make a critical statement that contradicts the author's view of how it was done (as shown by what they presented), then it's really nice if you can provide an example. Rewrite a few of the lines according to your opinion, and support it by explaining how it is better in your opinion. That way everyone can learn. Here at the Pen, we try to support, learn, and teach, but we've kinda developed our own style with doing so - acknowledging the person behind the work as well as the work itself, acknowledging that many of the best creations (in my opinion ) have the author emotionally invested in the work. Welcome to the Pen. Let's get back to Parmenion, shall we?

Peredhil gives Matteo, formerly known as Foe Caliber, a shiny new saxaphone. Gesturing to Matteo to accompany him, he begins singing happy birthday to him.

How family should be, and too often isn't. Gently kisses her forehead and buffs her halo, then turns before the tear in his eye spills over.

Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday Ancient Arawn... Happy birthday to you... Peredhil hands him his own official Ancient's cane, finely crafted by Almost Dragonic Productions. After Arawn accepts it, they work together to fit the handle back on...

Peredhil rushes through, a long 'to-do' checklist flowing like a river stream through his hands and trailing behind him Yay! Friday! (I hope I don't work tomorrow!) He exits through the small door behind the bartender

This is great. I wish I could hear you play it.

Because at this moment in Ireland Arwen has turned fifteen! Peredhil gives his online daughter Arwen 15 birthday kisses on her hands, and begins lighting the candles on the cake. Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Vincent... Happy Birthday to you!!!

I liked this. Great use of imagery and tempo. smooth meter changes. For some reason, I'm taken with the lines...

Thank you for the inspiration references. For me, it helped to add depth and meaning to the pieces. Dresden could be applied to many cities... Which is pretty sad.

Burningly sardonic. I like this I think, because I don't like labels or competing against others; I'd rather compete against myself. On the other hand, If you can't better yourself... Be better than the rest so you can rub their noses in it. Peredhil knows people like this

Howls with laughter Yes! I love it! Wyvern runs by, pursued by Melba waddling after with a stack of unreviewed applications. You have l33t ninj0r skills. heads off to work snickering

hmmm. I thought this was well done. When I read it aloud, I found myself putting in "emphasis commas" in 22 years of fear, hate, and strife - y'know - coming down hard on the words, almost spitting them out. Myriad are the arguments of magi and poets - I like the triple emphasis figure of speech. You manage to evoke a scene, cause, and completion all in a few short harsh lines. Well done!

Great progression from beginning Onward until the end Obviously a heartfelt plea Damaged hearts are hard to mend Pride begans to raise its head Out comes the strength! Evict the cad! Don't be sad! Meter, rhyme, and length.

A few spelling errors, but the emotions come through. Regrets captures the feelings of the word True Love shows its transfiguring power Power Hungry was powerful; I see that world but I don't relate In expectations, based on what I've seen of you, you really really sell yourself short.

These are kinda interesting. I did have to read them twice, they jumped around in meter in my mind - which did give them an eerie edgy feel. I usually wince when I see "'Tis" or "ne'er" in a poem, because they're rarely used right. Here I see an exception to the failures. keep posting and I'll keep reading.

(a translation of terms (of sorts (you may need a translation of the translation!))) I simply haven't a single clue On what, when, or how to write I really don't know what to do As through Latin feet I fight This meter thing just seems so wrong I'm not with what's goin' down Each time I find before too long My face's plastered with a frown.

Simple, poignant and a refreshingly sweet end. Don't give up. Genetically, the two primary socialization change points are 13-17 and 18-22. There's still round two coming! On a more immediate note... Picks her up and carries her lightly over to the giant rocking chair (which unfortunately does have a slight squeak). Wrapping loosely her in a quilt fresh from the dryer, he gives her a hug and a chance to be held by a friend.