Peredhil

One of the most frustrating thing about manipulators is that they tell us what we want and need so badly to hear. Then when they've used us and discarded us, they have a hook already deeply set - They can say it was all our fault for being stupid enough to believe their lies. Amazing. It's like a vampire blaming its blood-rape on the victim for having the gall to produce blood.

Mmmm. I have this dark side to my sense of humor that bursts forth at times like these, totally inappropriate. Such as quoting the Eagles' song, "I'd like to find your inner child and -" Well anyway. Seriously, I like this. You really have a knack of smoothly and obliquely touching on very real subjects and considering them without forcing them down the reader's throat. I enjoy reading your works.

Cheers You've made it here! Melba, the Almost Secretary of the Pen, has some of the latest copies of magazines, "Life's a Witch", "How to Nag from actual Mother-in-laws", and some of her other favorites. Now that you're here, it should be less than a month before we find where Elder Wyvern is hiding and force him to- Erm, I mean, it shouldn't be long before the Elder of Recruiting drops by his place of work.

Peredhil, having had one reply to this eaten, tries again. This is a really timely poem. As Parmenion pointed out, the media pushes the image of hyper-skinny through the use of models. Models whose body-type is extremely rare and unattainable by normal people. Also, don't discount the power of a computer to remove any little imperfections. I have to admit, I enjoy looking at a woman who is a bit more substancial than the current models - If, at 15 meters, I can't tell if it is an adolescent teenaged boy, girl, or grown woman, she's not quite my type. I've long had a rough hypothesis about beauty. It's more of a tendency than anything else, and even as I write, I can think of exceptions. Beauty tends to be defined as something only the rich can afford. Looking back through history... When most women were still working the fields, tanned, calloused, always hungry, beauty was pale, smooth, and what would be considered plump. (Reuben's paintings anyone?) The look that took time and money to maintain. When women moved indoors, secretarial to the present computer jobs, beauty became slender, muscularly fit, with a deep even tan. The plump pale woman was now not beautiful, but a cubicle worker. Just a thought, inspired by your excellent poem.

One of the original Rebels of the last century. I miss him already. digs out a platter from his old record collection and walks down memory lane.

Hmm. I've been reflecting on this since you started the thread... In my life and experience, what finally worked for me was to quit waiting for others to be my friend, to discover my depths, to find out how neat some parts of me are, and how repellent I find other facets of my being. Instead, I choose people with whom I want to be friends. It's a choice and a decision, a commitment to acceptance and mutual exploration. Then I set out to be their friend. I've found that many people just don't know how to be a friend to someone, and expect the other person to really do all the work, while they sit back like a judge, accepting or denying as each word or action comes in. Friendship for me isn't like that. Those of you (and there are many at the Pen), know how I think a friend should be, because you've received it as an example. Commitment up front, for friends will bump and bruise each other, and the wary heart has to know the other person will hang around long enough for moving on and healing. Honesty in communications, not holding back to "protect" the other person, but rather trusting that they'll not flee. Offering feedback about the other that judges actions and words, but not the person. Many people, even toward themselves, can't separate those. They're caught in the "I did something bad, I'm a bad person" trap, instead of the more hopeful, "I did something bad, but I'm a basically good person. Let me learn from it and try not to do it again." As my Mom told me, "You have to be a friend to have a friend, even during the times you don't feel like it." Peredhil hugs again.

I look forward to watching this develop. It would be neat if, after you've gathered all your facts here, you gift us with the final cohesive work as well. Could be a useful example of research.

Happy Birthday! Thank you for all the details and facts with which you constantly support me in IRC Pen chat. In the way my mind thinks it works, facts are useless, so I greatly appreciate a precision and memory like yours. Turning eighteen can also open up freedoms as well as responsibilities. although I suppose freedom can be scarier than no choices at all for some. Refraining from hugging, Peredhil shakes hands instead.

powerful image. I'm too blown away at the moment to be critical. welcome *back*.

I love the way you use figures of speech in the "My Turn", I think they really bring a meaning truer than the literal through to the reader. And the emotional "ownership" of the second stanza, accepting the feelings and cherishing them is a pretty healthy thing in my opinion. In "Longing" you really hit your stride. Some of the phrases evoked strong memory-echoes in me as I read. I think there's a love-hunger in all of us. If it isn't met when we're children, we feel empty and hungry the rest of our lives. "Longing for a Daughter" is nicely ambiguous - it could be the Daughter's longing, or the speaker's desire for a daughter. The next line repeats what is almost a poetic pun. I think your poems are getting stronger and more developed as you continue to post. Your command of syntax and grammar is even more applaudible since you aren't a native English speaker. hugs Keep posting!

this was a FUN read. I found myself chanting it as I read it aloud, as if it were a skald's Edda. The death and violence for love is really powerful. And I wish you would make time to copy some of your things. Best way I've found is to open two windows, one to each location, and then copy-n-paste from old to new. It reads better if you break it up into many posts than putting everything into one ultra-long post. I'm really glad you made time to share with us, Snypiuer. I've missed your words. -Peredhil

Doubles over laughing I'm told I'm a difficult person to have as a husband or parent... I'm relentlessly loving, patient, and inflexible on certain standards...

Ha! Reread with a bit of sleep in me, and found the cadence. If it's read correctly, it bounces right along, doesn't it? I thought it good before, but now I think it's great.

Hmmm. Given the choice, I'd choose the positive affirmations. Shoot for them and forgive yourself for failure - and try again. Things like "superMom" are almost asking to fail, in my experience. Little tiny goals, boring baby steps they may be, often get you further on the board across the chasm than taking a running leap shouting, "I can, I can!". Positive thinking only seems to work for me, at least, when combined with reality. I WILL listen to my daughter for 30 more seconds before cutting her off. I WILL ensure that tonight, I've looked through her homework and praised her for each part done right - and then explained gently what was wrong and why - then praise her for fixing it. Being present the whole time. I will turn off the TV, and be in the same room with my daughter for 1/2 hour. If there is nothing to fill the silence, I will force her to choose to have me read a book or a chapter to her, or her to read a book or a chapter to me. I will not allow other choices. The next time I blow up at someone, when I've calmed down, I will apologize for blowing up. If I was right, I will not apologize for being right - only for how I communicated. Small achievable goals, for which you can praise yourself unmercifully, allowing none of the voices which started the piece to stop you no matter how "false" you know the praise to be. Point the accomplishment and say, "argue with results - goal set, goal achieved". Train to be a winner instead of training to be a failure.

I'm thinkin' that even if a person disagrees about the causes which lead up to such an event, that the fallen are worth mourning because they fell. The United States of America lost an innocence in that attack. For too many, the news of terrorist actions in other countries, the heart's blood and deep emotions being played out, all were news bites and bathroom breaks. If no other lessons are taken away, I would hope that the reality and finality of deaths, and empathy for non-combatants are learned.

I kinda like this, and really didn't have a problem with the flow or the subject as expressed. Keep writing 'em - I'll keep reading 'em!

I particularly like the last sentence.

So, was it the forces of WAS who purchased this billboard? WAS Billboard

Peredhil begins laughing even and he winces and his hands move to a protective gesture.

Have you *SEEN* most of the people at a nude beach... lust is not an option... But seriously... This reads like a yes/no answer, but I'll follow the "thoughts" implication and give reasoning. The readers roll their eyes at the thought of another Peredhil lecture Yes. 1) The human body is, in and of itself, a magnificent work of art. And the variety! Endless variations on a theme, unique ripples of the same water. A form so marvelously wrought that God used it as a metaphor for the current administration's called out ("church") in the New Testiment section of the Christian Bible. 2) Strangely enough, it's human psychology (after the first shock) to become rapidly bored with nudity. There's quite a mind-set difference to seeing lots of nude people, contrasted with thinking, "Oh my, she's NEKKID under those clothes! insert panting here(hormones are such a rush... Or worded differently, sometimes, you can be more naked in clothes than when everyone is wearing nothing. Kinda like finding you are loneliest in the middle of a crowd where everyone knows all but you. I first noticed this effect at a beauty contest, of all things. Up on the stage were five pretty women in skimpy bathing suits, leaving little to the imagination. Prolly not a surprise that I was watching the audience and judges watch them. I noticed all the judges (male) weren't looking at the contestants! Instead they were straining to look at a woman in a mini-skirt bent to drink from a fountain off to the side. The power of the unknown on the imagination... A male's imagination is a woman's friend. All physical fantasy collapses into reality. There are all sorts of implications one can spin from that thought process, but I'll spare you. I could go on with more reasons, but they are minor additions. Those two would be the primary ones.

Peredhil reads Zool's feedback, nodding - and gets to the line about custody. Whee - that's wonderful!!! I'm so filled with joy for you - you must feel the relief and pleasure like the first drink of water after a desert trek. Erm, back to our regularly scheduled thread...

I think this really has a spark to it that could be grand - but I had trouble when I was reading it with some of the phrasing. Could be me though.

The working thread I do like the conversational gambit of your work. One thing you've mentioned is self-checking your own poems. One thing that's worked for me is to read it aloud and listen to the rhythm and beat, if it's a rhyming poem. If that brings to light any suggestions for change, implement the change and then have someone else read it aloud to you. You may find that they, not knowing how it should sound, do the breathing and phrasing in a totally different pattern. Where the lines break, how you use punctuation, these can help with maintaining the pattern you want. -Peredhil

for "sais", do you mean "says"? English is awkward with so many strange language rules... I think you'll find many people who've felt the world looked at them this way. Just have to spit in its eye and believe in yourself enough to try - expecting success, not failure. If you do all your planning for failure, you often succeed only at failing. Attitude is important.

You have some good stuff in the Banquet Hall. Now that the summer's over, I hope you get time to return and write more.