Peredhil

Wow, the darkness sounds like every depression I've had, while the melody and light resonate with what God has done for me. Nice twist ending - transforms the piece into a horror story. Welcome!

I don't speak French, although I did try once. (I seem only able to learn computer languages, other than my birth tongue.) But since you provided the English translation, I can offer feedback on *that* in hopes it somehow will help. Upfront- I really like this concept, of the story speaking, wanting to be told well. There are prolly some jokes lurking to seek revenge for the way I mangled the poor things when I tried to transmit their humor. ~~~ Hi, I'm a story! Yes, yes 1, a story! What I am telling? It depends upon you! I can take the shape of a fairytale or of 2 a horror story. I can describe aliens as well the most crapulous 3 murders. I can be full of love or 4 anguish,5 it's all up to you! But you must need6 to tell me or you must be able to do it7. Because it's not everyone who knows how to tell stories. And I, I am a capricious story. I don't like to be spitten 8 with a fast flow or badly articulated. I prefer that I'm told with paitence, passion and expression. I don't want to be recalled as a9 banal or boring story. It would be way to sad for me. I want to be remembered as a captivating, fantastic and memorable story and10... Oh! I'm sorry if I annoyed you with my pretention but11 well, I wanted to make a good impression a bit too much.12 So? Do you want to tell me? ~~~ Some of these will just be personal preference comments on phrasing. 1- Double yes in English isn't used much in casual speech. Many comedians use the double (no, no or yes, yes) to stereotype a non-native-English speaker. 2- I'd prolly drop this 2nd "of". a fairytale or a horror story. Hmm. on reflection, since I like to play with words and wordplay, maybe, "a fairytale or a tale of horror." 3 - not many people can use crapulous correctly. wonderful! 4- now here I *would* put in an extra "of" to add emphasis that the two are distinct. For full impact, I'd repeat the participle phrase: full of love or full or anguish. 5- semicolon instead of comma? 6- "must need" has an awkward usage in English. "But you must tell me" or "But you need to tell me". Perhaps the second choice would fit better, "But you need to tell me or you must be able to do it [yourself]". Which is... 7 - using "it" here could be ambiguous since it is reflexive. "it yourself" would clear that up. 8 - spit or spat, but I don't think spitten really fits... Does it? 9 - I'd remove the "a" to strengthen the sentence. 10 - At this point I'd use a dash(-) instead of ellipsis(...). Dash is more indicative of a break in speech or thought, while an ellipsis shows a pause in continuing. 11 - add a comma. "but, well, " 12 - perhaps reorder the words? "I wanted so much to make a good impression" or "I was trying too hard to make a good impression". Or you could leave it as is. -Peredhil

you bumped!!! Yay... That means you must've finished writing about me!

Running in and arranging the room is the work of a moment. Happy Birthday bittersweet 16! Evil man I am, Happy Birthday Irish green Rock'n Roll'n music fan. Peredhil warbles offkey, slightly out of breath, then rushes back to work.

neat poem! Isn't always easier to seek an excuse than an effort? To justify a wrong action than to rise up and be right? It's so much easier to be physically strong than emotionally or morally. When you fail emotionally or morally, it hurts your heart or it requires you to forgive yourself and others enough to try again. That can be pretty tiring.

These were GREAT! I still hint wildly that posting a new one in the Pen Newletter each week, and then maybe 2-3 of the resulting entries would be really fun and cool. People could PM in their entries - and then see if theirs was used when they read the newsletter! (support your local Quill Quests!)

(This might be a neat weekly or monthly feature for Zariah's Newsletter...)

Oh! I *like* this!!!! Nice flow, lovely sentiment. (welcome back, I haven't seen you around in a while. (It may be me! (I'm not around as much. (I love parens, don't you?)))). -Peredhil

When Peredhil came back that evening, Wyvern was impeccably turned out in a wide-lapelled tuxedo from which his wings escaped through cleverly hemmed slits. His horns carefully framed a small round hat with a silk band just above it's slightly curved edges, a crisp bowtie set off his white shirt. In fact, he looked a bit like a miserable Almost Stan Laurel. The thought made Peredhil's lips twitch as he automatically put Melba into Ollie Hardy's role, but he was too wise to frame such a concept aloud. He knew his limitations! "Good evening Miss Melba, Sainted Bardic Elder Wyvern. May I say how lovely you both look?" He noted that while Melba graciously returned the greeting, Wyvern looked frantic and as though he wanted to either try the window again or vomit. Peredhil stepped slightly to the side in case of the latter, which let him see the deeply gouged claw marks around the window's frame. Rapidly reviewing his hurried parting words earlier, he mentally winced in sympathy for the twitching Elder. "So," he continued brightly, "I see you're ready. Did you make the calls?" Wyvern nodded numbly, trying not to sufficate himself on the bowtie. Perhaps it was tied a bit too tightly? Melba smiled a toothy grin and nodded assurance to Peredhil that all was copacetic. "I guess we'd better move off to some place quieter so we don't disturb Melba with her many unrecognized labors." Ignoring Melba's pout of disappointment, he stepped forward and took Wyvern's hand. Wincing at the death-grip tightness and relaxations of Wyvern's grip and puzzled at what message Wyvern intended with his Almost-Morse-coded frantic message, he Portalled the both of them to one of the many rooms off the Cabaret. "So here we are! Pismo Beach and all the clams you can eat!" Wyvern missed the obscure quote and started clawing at his bowtie, but froze as Peredhil quietly said, "If you ruin the look, I'll have to let Melba fix it." Ignoring the tears gathered at Wyvern's eyes, for he'd seen Wyvern cry over a penny dropped between floorboards beyond retrieval, he loosed the bowtie for him. The bluish tinge to his scales faded quickly as he inhaled sweet air. "Right. Listen carefully as we haven't much time. No! Don't write on your shirt sleeve! You can do this!" They both paused as they heard those words applied to one of Wyvern's schemes, but Peredhil blithely pushed on with relentless cheer. "I've taken the liberty of enchanting these cufflinks with Butling skills, but you'll have to learn to work with them, not fight them. Jeeves you'll never be, but then, I'm no Bertie Wooster." Wyvern was looking around for an exit, but Peredhil'd carefully pictured a Cabaret side-room that had no doors. "Now, if you're going to earn a lot of tips, you'll have to pay with attention now." At the word 'tips', Wyvern's head whipped around like an anti-missile system seeking a target-lock, and he smiled with oily charm, his attention fully in the room for the first time. "You serve from the left, and never lift a glass of water or milk to refill them..." Peredhil began a cram session of l33t Butler ski11z, constantly mentioning the money Wyvern could earn to keep him motivated. After a bit of broken crockery, Wyvern began working with the cuff-links and learning how to let them prompt him. Peredhil could tell that Wyvern was calculating their resale value as he learned just how useful they were. He didn't bother to mention the enchantment's duration. It should EASILY last until after the Annual Charity Ball. Slightly more than two hours after they'd begun, the Door to the Recruiting Office waiting room opened with a bang. "Good evening Melba. For a cow-whale, you look very nice this evening." While Peredhil reminded Wyvern not to actually SAY the descriptive part, Melba passed out in shock at hearing Wyvern with manners... even of a sort. Moments later, she came to consciousness hearing Peredhil say, "I'm sure you'll do just fine. Practice practice practice between now and the Ball. But don't over-use the You-Know-Whats! You might exhaust them!! You'll be amazed at how valuable these new people skills will be in getting people not to run at the sight of you. When Wyvern nodded smoothly, reached out and adjust Peredhil's tie and flicked some lint off one shoulder with ninja-like Butler grace, she passed out again. Wyvern shouted Polite thanks after the hurrying Half-Elf and turn after Peredhil had left. When he saw the pacifying effect his charade was having on Melba, his laugh was short and almost gloating. Repressing the revealing laugh was a huge effort and he quivered inside as he moved deftly into his office, letting the cuff-links lend him grace. The sudden golden gleam to his eyes and the predatory edge which crept into his smile would've gone far to reassure Melba that she wasn't hallucinating, but she wasn't conscious to receive their familiar warning...

Leaving a hug lurking for a time when it won't interrupt Celiwyn, Peredhil sits to listen for as long as he can make time. He sets his beeper to silent; better to suffer beepilepsy than to interrupt the enchanting tale.

1) A Pen Member - Madoka 2) A distance - 7 miles high 3) A place in the Pen - Orlan's Lounge 4) An adjective - indicative 5) A number - pi 6) A noun - Calculus 7) A verb - defenestrate An adjective - puckish 9) A Color - puce 10) A plural noun - Ounces (the cats type) 11) A material - Gortex 12) A type of light - ultraviolet 13) A part of body - aura 14) A name for an underling - Jechum 15) An animal (plural) - marsupials 16) An adjective - bovine 17) A height - the thickness of three red pubic hairs stacked vertically 18) A cryptic phrase - At the news conference, the Queen's eyes were red in the center. 19) A verb - becoming 20) Any phrase - that that is isn't that that is not.

cleverly done. Makes a mental note to avoid such situations...

Oooh. Nice.

Oh Queen of Dragons, I know this feeling well. There come times, sometimes, when a pause to recharge and brood feels necessary. Then again, there are times when the world and life urge one to separate, when the only healing is to cast your foul moods on the waters of friendship's understanding and watch the darkness dissolve in acceptance. Nicely written, the both of you.

Hugs I'm sorry... But on Automation - "It's" is a contraction of "It is". "Its" is the possessive. Well-crafted and evocative. On the Haiku - when my sleep-blurred eyes first read it, they saw "White mice click softly, moving" Which implied play on words tickled me - until I saw it was "While" instead. Again, well-crafted. I knew I should've made time to hit the Workshop... Hugs I'm sorry...

Buffs and adjusts her halo, then gently runs a thumb down the curve of her cheek. We'll keep your branch dusted waiting on your return.

This was called back to my attention... Thanks? I think... Hey hey whatcha doin' where ya goin'? You've got that beginning gleam again. What's it - new start, new job, new friend? So how ya thinkin' this one'll end? You've such high hopes - you always do 'Cause when you start it's all brand new But when your fresh new bloom is faded Once again you're bored and jaded. Did you think it'd be different this time? Did you think it'd not be the same? Do you think you could live without the drama? Do you think you'd be real without the pain? "Insanity is doin' it over and over again But expecting different results" and then - Cryin' when you won't change your view of self To find you disappoint again when they pick you from the shelf. Hey Hey so wise for others and you're so calm I see you've gotta shiny new ring on your palm How long 'till you're blamin' your new golden toy When you find that small speck marring your joy? It's like you're needin' permission to fail You're trapped in that "expectations" jail. Your head's sayin' "perfection's lack is not a crime - but your heart's givin' it up all the time! Did you think it'd be different this time? Did you think it'd not be the same? Do you think you'll be equal with the others? Do you think you can stop lookin' for the shame? Hey I think your standards are too high to last Just so that you can be sure you're gonna crash. Hey I'm thinkin' if you need to cry and whine You'll drive the others away one more time. So you're feelin' you're needin' more praise than most? When all you do is complain, hide or boast? If you're needin' badly why don't you just accept it graceously? Or are you gonna live in rutted circles endlessly? Did you think it'd somehow be different this time? Didn't you realize it will always be the same? If you're gonna wait on others changin' you, Do you think you will ever win this game? Did you really think it would be different this time? Did you really think it wouldn't turn out the same? You'd better start a-lookin' at yourself Quit that lookin' at others, sharin' blame.

zips in to give big hugs Miss talking to you on IRC! Happy Appy Birthday! -P

Heh, The Reply Raven flaps his way into the sub-topic line. It does paint a lonely bleak picture of a man, and does it well. When I read it, I get a sense of childish fear - I will never love again, because I've experienced pain. All loves may hurt me and I lack the courage to survive such pain again. Pain is Bad, and therefore is justification. Like Mark Twain's cat, learning the lesson far too well, and applying it to all situations instead of using individual judgement. Really, it's form of prejudice applied to affairs of the heart. But it *is* a well written poem. You've grown incredibly in voice and power since we first met. Big Hugs

Farmer Jones's cows had recently stopped giving good milk. So, he went around asking for advice, and someone told him that happy cows give good milk. So every morning he would go out and tell some jokes to his cows, and they would all laugh. But the rest of the cows in that community thought that the jokes were pretty stupid. Because of this, his cows became the laughing stock of the town. A famous treasure hunter went out one day with all of his diving gear to search for a treasure box that was supposed to be on a sunken ship. He swam around for a while and looked where it was supposed to be, but didn't find anything. When he was walking out of the water, really close to the shore, he tripped on something. He started to dig around it and it was the treasure chest he was looking for. All this goes to prove that booty is only shin deep!

"Two hours!?" Peredhil exclaimed, looking Wyvern up and down with dismay. This was a definite fixer-upper project. Elladan would end up trying to exclude anything which didn't fit "Polite" with time constraints like this. "I'm going to have to do this myself." He handed Wyvern a parchment and read the almost dragon's expression with practiced ease. "No, the account number is only for two calls - and one has to go to my haberdasher. The name is on the page. The message to give them is on their too. And they already know about you and you can't use credit or charge anything to my account. The second call can be to whomever you like." He paused to ensure understanding, and then continued doubtfully, "I'll be back at sunset to begin your make-over. Try to be dressed in something suitable." Wyvern's grin was less than reassuring. Peredhil snapped his fingers in sudden thought. "I've got it!" Stepping to the doorway of the waiting room, he addressed Melba, "Melba dear, would you do me a favor please? I'm going to try to help Wyvern learn manners; could you make sure he's dressed nicely by sundown? Do what it takes..." Ignoring Melba's sudden sharklike smile and Wyvern's yelp of surprise, Peredhil said goodbye to Door and hurried away.

Heh, think one reason I like this so much is that it contains such strong elements of my own belief system.

Reminds me of the Book of Revelations, armageddon indeed. May it come soon.

The powers of words to heal or destroy... I remember reading in a very old book, "The Mudhen". When the Mudhen (a very very smart, lazy young man) was asked why he didn't fight, he replied something to the effect, "A blow might win a battle, but it heals and the memory fades. A word can win all battles and hides in the heart, wounding afresh at every turn." How true. To you and your Principal, I can only say the following: Many people with the illusion of power are insecure and use it to destroy anyone that they see as strong. Consider the source, give them their moment of pride, and continue on with YOUR life. They can only destroy you if you let them. That he bothered to attack you at all complements you on his perception of your potential power and threat. Hugs Peredhil

Wowser! I missed this pearl the first time through. This reads like a song.