Peredhil

No internet at home any more (hence no Messenger programs) and doing many R.L. things. Y'all are in my thoughts continually, although I only sneak in here occasionally. *Big Peredhil Hugs*

Restrict retarded reprobate reptiles.

Rachel means a ewe of God (way back in old Hebrew), And I'm sheepishly admitting, I think this ewe is you. You're a bellwether leader Of so much at Pen And yet you're gentle through and through, You're one of my oldest friends (since waaay back when) One of the truly truest few. And so as I take this dare today, (I simply must honestly say,) There are few ewes in this world so grey I like so much as I like you -- Gwai. Dares go out to Signe and Tralla...

Swooper all the way. Which creates problems on re-writes in that I'm a different person and end up revising it until it is a different story. But 98% of everything you see here at the Pen from me was written in one pass and not reworked.

Aimee! Politely flying hug-tackles Nimue has an account here - send her a PM. She usually responds when I PM here a birthday hug.

Much love Fin' and many hugs.

Ignoring the fangs, Peredhil Pounce-Hugs the succubus tightly. Merry Christmas!!!

This shares the feelings of loss really well. Good song; I wish I could hear the music in your heart that goes with this.

I think this is one of your best so far. Good vocabulary, wistful yet meaningful questions, and an ending with hope.

Just a suggestion - If you revise, do it here in the thread, and make it a new post. That way others can track the growth of a poem, from it's beginning to its final form, and we can all learn from it together.

What an amazing saga through the years Full of truths hidden beneath the fears Opened into cleansing light at last. Welcome to the Pen. If you always write from the heart, you'll stay an astounding poet.

welcome - I really like this.

Really good. Meter is a little rough in a few places when I read it aloud. I took the liberty of changing some "your" to "you're" in your piece. There's a lot of depth and heart in this.

Outstanding

Ack!!! Don't EVER destroy your works! If nothing else, keep them for seeds, watered with time, that when you've developed your skills you can revisit and bring to fruition. Go reread this!!!

This is a neat word-picture and would make a great intro to a fantasy novel. A few nick-picks I noticed: To keep the meter consistent in stanza two, "leaf strewn" should be "leaf-strewn". Maybe remove the "a" in "or a stealthy footfall"? In the next line, "Where are thee brothers" would have to be "Where are thee, brothers," to make sense to me. Something about the flow of the 4th stanza seems awkward - maybe read aloud and tweak? I normally don't pick on things like this, but I feel this could be a really good piece with a bit of tweaking.

Oddly fascinating twisted word order. I could read several things into this, but I'm not certain that any of them fit the whole. I did like it though.

Students, friends, life... This reflects a lot of groups. I know it takes energy and commitment to maintain remote connections in a world of immediate demands. Sad how someone so important in the present can become a distant memory in a moment.

Very clever! Reminds me of James Joyce, or perhaps even more of John Lennon.

Love's love is held out for lovers, while a Romanticist is never alone while able to dream...

I like this, although too often I feel alone in my thoughts. I still smile though.

I've loved the word "Morpheus" since I first heard the Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack. That said, a tight focused poem with excellent word choice.

Wow. Interesting imagery and a savage commentary.

Evocative and sensual without being obscene. You really captured a feeling that transcends bodies and sex. Well written.

Wow, I'm so blessed you posted another of these, because I'd missed all the rest. These vignettes are really excellently written. Your use of the senses brings them to life for me. *hugs* I wish, my friend, I were as together as I seem to you, for I too have a myriad of faults on which I work! Perhaps we are so different after all?