Peredhil

Tzimfemme and Rydia Gwaihir-niz draws a deep breath, plugs his ears with his fingers, and holds his breath. The seconds tick slowly by. . . POP! Two identical Gwaihir-nizes stand where once there was one. The twins fission twice more to produce eight identical mages. They flash smug grins at one another, coordinate their watches, and prepare to take over the party. "Carp! Grrrrrcarp." Red-and-black-striped Carp weaves menacingly before the group, growling. Behind him, Rydia-the-Birdman crosses her arms in what they both were totally sure was an intimidating stance. They were both totally wrong. ------------------ Tzimfemme (the naked); "Deleting nothing between maiden and mage" Rydia adorned with pearls; Owner of the Anti-Spam Carp Minta Rose, sunshine and moonlight; Calculus for the Masses!, Server Guilded Proprietress of Happy Hentai Wholesale, Angels of Apocalypse, Ager Guilded Constant Reader and Moderator, General Assembly and Ager Guilded

Gwaihir A young mage saunters in. If he was anyone else he might be called late, but since he is Misha, it was all right. He looks around, and seeing the locusts spits "Bah!" Disdaining to stay out of notice, he started making the rounds, and adding to various conversations "Not Contraction of Sole!!!! There's not a chance that it could be that! "Here Cerulean this might come in handy, he whispered. It is a dice of knowledge. This one contains the rules of the most popular games of Terra." But, do you know who's definition of popular the dice maker had? ...

Silexion Silexion slips Wyvern's business card into his breast pocket and nods to Cerulean as she taps his elbow and heads off to view the strange histrionics of a goat-like creature on the stage. He had to pause and gather his thoughts before joining Cerulean near the stage of the great Hall. Just as he stood to walk into the Hall down the curved main stairway strode none-other than Scarlet O'Harpy. Silexion was present at the 'birth' of Scarlet; she was born of anticipation, frustration, anger and more than a few other emotions... but that is a story for another day. He watched a nekkid, and pretty alluring, Scarlet walk down the stair and an old song came to mind; Scarlet, O' Scarlet, don't dare call her harlot, She's got brains as well as beauty; She's got eyes that men adore so, And a torso even more-so; Skin so fair and hair like fire, She's the nymph of my desire... The song in his head was abruptly displaced by a ruckus coming from the stage and from noticing that Scarlet had taken a sudden interest in Cerulean's un-Birthday presents. She secreted away with one of the strangest boxes (one that was moving itself across the floor, the one from Zool) and, incredibly, she was tearing into it. Stepping up onto his chair to get a better view of all that was going on, Silexion was nearly hit in the head by a small, stoppered bottle that was thrown by Scarlet and landed on an accent table against the far wall. He retrieved the bottle and was studying it when all hell broke loose. Silexion turned to see that Scarlet was now 10 feet tall! And growing... Within minutes she had crashed up through 4 stories of the Hall and had to be in excess of 50 feet tall. He stood there with his mouth agape not knowing what to do... but admiring the shapely legs of the famous (she will be now) redhead. Then the blast hit him!!! A sneeze of gigantic proportion leveled everyone in the place! Several moments later, when the shock wore off he thought to get up and help Cerulean; instead it was she who was helping him up. "Are you alright, Silexion?" "I think so, uh; what's the deal with Scarlet, her size?" "I have no idea, She is as impetuous as ever. But I have a card game to think about. If you are alright I have to see someone." "I'm OK, thanks." And off she went to find Finnius. Just then Pekkle was again at Silexion's side, pulling at the small bottle. "No, no, little one. Here, take this instead." And he absentmindedly hands the young demoness a nice bottle of white wine. Satisfied, Pekkle trotted off. Silexion spied Zool scrambling around in search of something and decided that the best person to give the tiny stoppered bottle to was the originator of the gift. Silexion caught up to Zool just as he had collected a large gray parchment and a sizeable piece of chalk. "Zool?" "Yes? I'm in a hurry, how can I help you." Silexion held out the tiny bottle, "I believe that this came from the gift you gave to Cerulean. I found it over there." Zool's eyes widened and he snatched it from Silexion; "Someone may want to thank you later for returning this..." And he ran up to Scarlet's enormous head with the three items... Silexion looked around. "Time to join the party," he thought. He went over to the Pool of Endless...something; yuucckk! Instead, he opened a case of wine, grabbed a bottle and started off in the same direction as Zool. "I gotta say hello to Scarlet, and see if I can help..." ------------------ Silexion CellarMaster/Cavist

Jerry Jerry thought for a while and then decided that this might be a good time to give Cerulean her un-birthday present. Smilling, he took out the little white dice out of his pocket and presented it to Cerulean. "Here Cerulean this might come in handy, he whispered. It is a dice of knowledge. This one contains the rules of the most popular games of Terra." ------------------ You know what they say: What goes up... is higher than it was before. I might be a newbie, but I'm not stupid. It's better to be rich & in good health than poor & sick. I thought I was undecided, but I'm not sure.

Wyvern Meanwhile... On the center of the dance floor lies the unconscious body of a man in an exterminator outfit. On his front shirt is a name tag which has written on it in block silver letters "Tim". The body twitches an inch, then slowly opens its scornfull eyes. Tim the exterminator gets back on his feet, wiping off Scarletts nasal fluids that cover his body. He has a black eye and an enormous bruise on one cheek. His cloths... his FAVORITE pair of cloths... the ones with "Terra Insect Exterminators" written on the back... were UTTERLY ruined; covered by substances which he was uncertain he'd ever be able to wash out. His "Locust-be-Gone" insect deterent was missing as well... This was JUST GREAT. Tim grins to himself and commences laughing hystericaly. The mages in his proximisis all back away, frightened. "They'll pay all right..." Tim thinks to himself out loud, smirking "...I'll kill every locust here if it's over MY DEAD BODY!" With that, Tim rushes outside to retrieve something from his exterminator truck... ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.B )-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Haruchi Moments after the Last Writes were done, Haruchi/Orlan and Mindspawn/Tyrion turn to the top-hatted cane-wielding locust who was earlier so rude to them. The locust meets their reproachful gazes with a stony stare. "I tried to warn Monty! I tried to tell him not to interrupt me or something bad would happen! It was his own fault for getting in the way of that almost-dragon's foot!" Jiminy Criquet decries. The two mages sigh silently and turn toward Jiminy. Mindspawn consults his notes, peers at Jiminy and then whispers something in Haruchi's ear. Haruchi rubs his eyes and squints at Jiminy, his face reddening in anger. "Hey, you're not a locust! You're a cricket!" The entirety of Locust Land™ falls silent as thousands of locusts turn toward the imposter in their midst. "I'm not a cricket! I'm a 'Criquet'! It's French!" Jiminy cries out, his tiny little head swivelling frantically from side to side as he turns, oh so slowly, toward the door .... "Please, you have to believe m ... " A thousand locusts leap upon the offending cricket, restraining him. The cries of distress are muffled and grow ever fainter, until all that can be heard is the distant booming of a 50 foot tall woman. One of the locusts licks it's lips and turns to it's companions, the ones whose all-day tickets seem to have somehow expired, forcing them off the rides. "Hey, we'd better go see if there are any other imposters around here!" This notion is greeted by a shout of approval, and this particular horde, not to be confused with the swarm, of locusts flies off, abuzz with the excitement the prospect of whuppin' some ass usually brings. Mindspawn and Haruchi stand silently, gazing at the half-eaten tophat. "Now why would a cricket impost a locust?" muses Mindspawn. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Haruchi?" "Yes! I've always wondered if cricket tastes like chic ... ouch!" Haruchi peers down at his smouldering clothing and glares at Mindspawn. "Sorry. Just getting into character with a localised Inferno," Mindspawn murmurs, peering at the rapidly shrinking Harpy. "You know, I think I saw some writing on her foot, then. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Haruchi?" Haruchi peers at Mindspawn warily. "Feet don't taste like chicken, do th ... OUCH ... oh, you mean ...." They stare at eachother, then cringe. In Unison: "Not Contraction of Sole!!!!"

Wyvern Exhausted, Wyvern staggers to the table where Cerulean and Finnius speak, dragging his toungue and the infernal "Locust-be-Gone" contraption it's connected to along with him. Cerulean and Finnius look up at the tired overgrown lizard curiously. Wyvern writes something down and then holds up a sign that reads: "I will play a rematch with you now Cerulean..." Cerulean frowns and looks at Wyvern. "You poor thing... You don't want to get that machine disconnected from your toungue first...?" Wyvern shakes his head and holds up another sign: "It's O.K... I'm sort of getting used to it..." Finnius thinks for a moment, and then asks "What about your pictures of Harpy?" Wyvern quickly jots something down, and then holds up a sign that reads: "I've called an expert photographer that will take care of things." If you looked very closely, you could almost see a grin trying to merger on Wyverns face (the position of his toungue would not allow him to do so). Cerulean nods and heads over to Wyverns gambling table. Wyvern follows her there along with Finnius and Peckle. The two gamblers sit in their previous seats. Not as many Archmages were watching them now, as the primary spectacle of the party was still the enormous version of Scarlett O' Harpy... Finnius deals Cerulean and Wyvern their hands, and makes sure Wyv isn't cheating in any way. After he is done, Wyvern looks at his hand thoughtfully. He then holds up a sign that reads: "....." Cerulean rubs her forehead and says "Wyv... You don't have to write moments of silence down on the signs!". Wyvern nods in understanding and puts the sign away. Cerulean thinks to herself for a moment... this was strange. Something was different from the last couple of times she had played Wyvern... Then, it occured to her. Wyverns face! In the previous games, Wyv had smiled or frowned at his hands... but now, with his toungue in it's current position, he could do no such a thing! This could pose a problem... Wyvern plays his first card, and both Cerulean and Finnius stare in confusion when they see the card is called "Peckle, child of the devil". ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.B )-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Finnius Somewhere behind Cerulean, before the last post, There was a giant woman in the middle of the room, and... well, she wasn't decent. Pekkle assumed that she had probably burst out of her clothes upon growing to such an unmanagable height. At that precise moment, Razool trotted up to her and asked if she could help him with something. He seemed like a nice enough man, so Pekkle agreed. After all, he only wanted her to give the poor giant lady something to drink. He said that she was afraid to be up so high, and needed something to calm her down. Preferaly something in a wine bottle. The only bottle Pekkle had seen lately was the one the poor lady had dropped, so she went to get that one. At a table with Cerulean, after the last post, A tired, soggy blue wolf sits explaining the nature of Pekkle to Cerulean. Every so often, the elegant hostess nods and scribbles notes on a little notepad, which she got from one of the party-goers. Jerry-Black sits across the table from both Cerulean and Finnius, who are somehow sitting across from each other. (No, I don't know how that would work.) Let's listen in... "... So, in short, Pekkle is both a demon and a ten year old girl. Confusing, I know, but it's true. She's very friendly but, being what she is, she's also prone to little 'pranks,' like changing the cards. You already know about her powers, so I won't bore you with that, but keep this in mind: Pekkle is somewhat naive. She likes everybody, and her judgement is... shall we say, not up to par? If you think about it, it's simple how she can help you. Just propose that it might be fun to mix up what Wyvern's seeing, so that he plays the wrong cards. As long as she doesn't think it's hurting anyone, she should be copacetic." Cerulean grins, a twinkle of Pekkle-like mischief in her eye.

Zool Zool finally tires of roaming the stairs admiring the scenery. Remembering his task at hand, he rushes back up to the 2nd floor. He pushes the giant pen into Harpy's open hand and readies the contraction under it. "Just sign here and all your troubles will be over Harpy." "Get lost Zool, I ain't signing any contract. I got a glimpse of that while you were up here, and all that fine print smells like a bad day in Denmark." "Hehe, in case you haven't noticed, you don't have much of a choice, and after you sign this, you won't have any!" Zool grinned evilly, and put the sheaf of papers up to Harpy's stylus and began moving it back and forth jerkily. Up on the 4th story, Harpy grimaced as she felt what Zool was doing. A seething anger began to boil deep in her being - when something caught her eye. She strained to look into the shadows, and a small figure emerged. It was Peckle. "What do you want, you little..." Harpy bit her tongue when she saw what peckle had in her pale little hand. A tiny glass bottle. Harpy's mind went into overdrive to begin scheming how to relieve the bottle from the innocent child, when suddenly she came forward and popped the cork, upending the bottle into Harpy's giant mouth. "Ha! You are now MINE!" Zool was heard to shout from far below. The little demoness began to snicker, and with a chill Harpy realized why as she felt both the contraction and the potion begin to work. ------------------ Zool Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - BH, Elder. The Brotherhood - BG, Guilty by association. Wondering if he should join Sort of Bad (S.o.B.) - BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME YOUR FOOT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Cerulean Alarmed at Finnius's isolated sobriety, Cerulean rushes over to the would-be-wolf and nudges him gently. "I need your advice on how to best use Pekkle's talents at the card game", she smiles. "Will you share a drink and give me some information? Just as soon as Wyvern's finished with his photos he'll be calling for the rematch to begin, and this time, I intend to be prepared!" Cerulean pictures Wyvern's crumpled ego and soulful howl when she places down the winning card. It is a pleasing image indeed. As the mage-wolf lazily opens one eye, Cerulean congratulates him on the originality of his stage act, and hopes he will join her table shortly. ------------------ Cerulean Dark Mistress of the Desert Guardian of the sacred stick of celery Member of: Scarlet or Blue? - SoB - BG Babe who is the Color of the Sky of The Great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen

Finnius Meanwhile, up on stage, The crowd didn't really appreciate Finnius taking it upon himself to strip for them. Something about his horn not being as ever-present. Oh well, if he remembered anything that happened tonight, it would be a miracle. Then, looking at the gigantic, nekkid woman, he revised this thought. Maybe not a miracle. So, the mage gathered up his fur and solemnly got off the stage. RaptureGoat was still flirting with the ladies, so Finnius tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to the stage. "Yer tern, Mr. Goat." At this point, Rapture, surprised to find soggy-half-naked-blue-wolf-thing tapping his shoulder, responds in the only decent manner. HOLY WORD The spell smacks into the afore mentioned Finnius but, as he is not undead, does no permenant damage. It just gets rid of his hangover. Seeing as this is the best thing to happen to him at this party, Finnius goes over and curls into a ball in the corner, muttering to himself about "Schnikies."

Scarlett O'Harpy From her vantage point on the fourth floor, Scarlett can hear the hubbub down below, but cannot lower her head to view the proceedings clearly. From the gasps and cheers, it appears the entertainment is going down a storm, and her face tightens as she realises what fun she's missing. She has waited patiently, while Zool sorted carefully through the contents of his pockets. But grew increasingly alarmed when his search yielded little of obvious benefit -- although the aroused ermine captured her attention for the briefest moment. She tries to consider her dilemma dispassionately. It must've been the strange cake of Zool's which caused her sudden growth - and if that was the case - there must surely be an antidote. More than a little worried at the prospect of signing any contract at this juncture, especially one approved by Wyvern. She racked her brains for a solution. The bottle! Of course, why hadn't she considered that before! Harpy tries to remember where she put it, and recalls with horror, flinging it up into the air. What she needs now is someone she can trust absolutely to bring it to her, loose the stopper, and pour the contents into her mouth. She's not convinced it'll work, but let's face it - surely it couldn't make the situation any worse! Her mind quickly runs through the options... Cerulean? No! She would still be angry about the theft of her gift... Zool? Ditto... Wyvern - although certainly appealing - would probably charge her an impossibly large fee for the honour of retrieving the bottle... Haruchi? He appeared to be still in mourning over the death of Monty. She really shouldn't impose upon him at this sad time... Rapture? He appeared to otherwise engaged with his stage performance... Silexion? He was busy regaling Cerulean et al with mysterious tales of heads on spikes in Jebel Dhanna... Furious that she cannot find a solution to this issue, and tiring of being fifty feet tall, Scarlett gazes out of the window into the night in the hope of receiving inspiration. Far in the distance, she sees a lonely figure wending his way home. Peredricke! Why hadn't she thought of him before. The Half Elf would never dream of impugning a Lady's honour. Harpy has the decency to blanch slightly at the use of the word Lady with reference to herself, but reckons if she could just capture Peredricke's attention before he crested the hill, he may return to provide aid. After several tiresome minutes of making ridiculous cooing noises, Harpy has managed to entice the dove down from the rafters where it was reposing quietly before the resumption of the card game. The dove looks at Harpy in a puzzled fashion, head tilted to one side. "Go find your master", she hisses. "Tell him he's needed urgently!" The dove warbles. "Oh come on!" continues Harpy, "It's not much to ask." The dove coos "There's a carton of unlimited popcorn in it for you, if you succeed" she wheedles, changing tack and hoping to appeal to the dove's baser instincts. This seems to settle the matter. The dove turns its back on Harpy and determinedly places its head under one wing. There is only one thing for it. Scarlett must use the most dreaded and difficult word in her vocabulary. "Please?", she whispers. The dove lifts its head, flutters over to Scarlett, and plucks a single shining copper hair from her head. Holding it gently in its beak, the bird circles, and with a beat of wings swoops out of the room and into the night. ------------------ Scarlett O'Harpy The two phases of fire are craving and satiety

Wyvern Wyvern tries to thank Jerry for the shiiny new camera, but unfortunatly finds himself in a bit of a predicament. You see, after Tim the exterminator had crashed into him, Wyvs toungue had become stuck in the frontal engine of his "Locust-be-Gone" machine... He couldn't speak until he could get rid of the infernal contraption. Wyv tries to awaken Tim the exterminator (who is now unconscious) as a proffesional would perhaps know of a way to unclog his toungue... but sighs at several failed attempts. He decides that it would take too long to awaken the slumbering Timmy, and that he must take action with Jerrys camera before it's too late. There was a naked Scarlett O' Harpy out there, and Wyvern would never forgive himself if he couldn't get at least ONE picture. Dragging his toungue and the locust deterent machine along with him, Wyvern makes his way to the center of the dance floor. He passes Zool, who seems to be taking several measurements of Harpys foot while muttering to himself something about a contract. Wyvern rushes up to Zool and cries out: "Affneunrgxdjfhtglsi cvnkasjhfdi!" Zool looks up at Wyvern with a face of mingled disgust and confusion. Tapping his measuring stick thoughtfully in one hand, he politely asks Wyvern "Excuse me?". Wyvern suddenly realizes the source of Zools confusion, and quickly writes something down on a parchment. He then holds the parchment up to Zool. It reads: "Did somebody mention the word CONTRACT?!" The displacement of Wyverns toungue does not cover the fact that he's trying to evily grin. Wyv tries to laugh, but the current position of his toungue will not allow him to. Zool slaps his hand on his forehead, and mutters to himself "That lizard never learns..." ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.B )-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Jerry Da** it! thought Jerry/Black as he looked at the very naked Scarlet. Just when I was about to make friends a gigantic naked woman appears. Da** it, da** it, da** it! Jerry/Black spotted Wyvern/Brute in the corner weeping over what appeared to be a broken polaroid. Jerry quickly made his way to him and made his camera appeared. "Here Wyvern, you can have my camera. If you don't break it of course. By the way, we have to talk to you about your attempt..." Jerry sighed. Wyvern had grabbed the camera and left before he presented himself. So much for making friends with nice gestures. ------------------ You know what they say: What goes up... is higher than it was before. I might be a newbie, but I'm not stupid. It's better to be rich & in good health than poor & sick. I thought I was undecided, but I'm not sure.

Zool Zool was haveing a dream in which he was reading a book near a comfortable fire. He wore a red velvet robe and comfortable slippers. He had a pipe in his mouth and a sleeping dog at his feet. "Father?" "Yes, son," said Zool with a smile to the child that had come up to him. "What is the meaning of life?" "Err, well..." "How's the college fund coming?" asked his daughter who appeared beside him. "I, uh..." "Why can't you and Mommy get married again?" asked the youngest son as he appeared beside the daughter. Zool woke up with a start at what sounded like a huge sneeze. He found himself back in his dark corner at Cerulean's party. He must have dozed off... The scene around him was chaotic. Mages ran everywhere and there was a huge pair of shapely feet on the dance floor, their attached legs disappearing up into the ceilling to... Oh my! The air hung heavy with the pall of a thick dust cloud. "Uh-oh," said Zool. He looked over at the gift pile and saw his box was missing. He leaped up from his seat and flew up the stairs. At the top of 4 flights he came face to face with a very sour Harpy. "Problems?" asked Zool. Harpy struggled fiercely, but the flooring she had crashed through held her fast. "No problems," she retorted acidly, "Why do you ask?" "Just a guess. Let's see what we can find in my pants of deep pockets which Racouol himself loaned me..." Zool began pulling objects out of his pockets. A moldy doormat that smelled of dog poo, Jimmy Hoffa (he didn't look so good), a left high heeled shoe one size too small to fit Harpy (currently), Amelia Earhart's airplane, an apology, Clinton's Conscience, Hillary's libido, a cure for asthma, a purple and orange striped sock (Hey, I been looking for that!), an eternal flame (ouch!), Moses' suspenders, a blizzard, Cheops' sarcophogas, the Sphinx's nose, an aroused ermine, LotWRs Book of the Damned, a shave, a quarter, a sheaf of legal papers... "Ah ha!" said Zool. Now all I need is..." Reaching in his other pocket Zool pulled out a 3 meter long pen. "I'll be right down to your hand on the second floor. Just sign this contraction, and everything will be right as rain!" Harpy started to speak, but Zool had already taken off down the stairs. ------------------ Zool Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - BH, Elder. The Brotherhood - BG, Guilty by association. Wondering if he should join Sort of Bad (S.o.B.) - BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME YOUR FOOT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Finnius Giant teeth snapping somewhat sexily. That is what the poor booze-drenched wolf-mage woke up to this time. Seconds later, he realizes that those teeth belonged in a head, which was perched atop a body, which (Despite being some fifty feet tall.) was quite obviously naked. Finnius thinks about this for a moment, then decides that either: 1) He's hallucinating, 2) He died from alchohol poisoning and went to heaven, or 3) There really is a fifty foot naked woman leering at him. Dismissing both 2 and 3, the mage calmly walks over to the stage and begins to pull fur off of himself while gyrating.

Wyvern Wyvern jumps up and down with joy as he rushes to the main dance floor with a Polaroid camera, ready to take some revealing pics of Harpy. Who knows... maybe Wyv could even get Scarlett to pose for a couple of shots! Those ones wouldn't be sold on the black market like the others... no... he would keep those ones in his own personal photo collection. Wyverns stupid smirk, still thoroughly glued to his face, grows ever so slightly larger at the thought. Wyvern stumbles over his toungue as he hurredly poses the camera in order to get an appropriate shot... but something was wrong. Through the camera, Wyvern could only catch a glimpse of an incredibly enlarged version of Harpys left leg. Not realizing Harpys current size, Wyvern works to correct the cameras zoom and way of focussing... Meanwhile... A large white and red van with the words "Terra Insect Exterminators" written on the side of it comes to a screeching halt at the front of the Conservatory. Tim the exterminator examines the address he had rapidly jotted down on a left-over pizza carton. He looks up at the gate of the enormous building, which seems to be practicaly vibrating with noise. "Yup. This is the joint all right..." Tim mutters to himself. He exits his van, taking what appears to be a large vacuum cleaner with "Locust-be-Gone" scrawled in purple ink on the sides and dragging it with him to the party gates. Tim wobbles as he reaches the front door of the Ceruleans masquerade. He had taken quite a large dose of cocaine about an hour ago, and was still heavily under the influence. Tim enters the dancing hall and lets out a shriek when he sees the gargantuan form of Scarlett O' Harpy. Under the influence, Scarlett looks to him like an enormous locust. He pushes through the crowd and aims the "Locust-be-Gone" directly at Harpy. "Lord Jesus! That's the biggest durn con-founded locust I EVER DONE SEEN! Back away people! THIS ONES FOR TIMMY!!!" The surrounding Archmages try to stop Tim the exterminator, but it's too late. Tim fires the "Locust-be-Gone" at full blast, and its noxious gasses circle Scarlett all the way up to her head... more specificaly her nose. She feels a sneeze coming on... An Archmage from the audience cries out "Look out! She's gonna BLOW!" All of the Archmages get out of the way except Tim and Wyvern (who is still busy preparing his camera and has noticed none of this.) Harpy lets out an enormous sneeze that shakes the very foundation of the Conservatory. Tim the exterminator is sent flying back due to the force of the sneeze, and crashes directly into Wyvern and his camera. Both Wyvern and Tim are sent hurdling backwards into a wall, and Wyverns Polaroid smashes to peices on the floor... ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.B )-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Holy Chaos After a while, HolyChaos figured out his mouth was open way too wide to be respectable. He elbowed Tyrion, who quickly shut his mouth. ------------------ - HolyChaos - Maro-Necromancer of Terra - Blessing be upon you, and may you live and die in peace - Proud MODERATOR of the Celtic Warrior boards HolyChaos@Hotmail.com Ascendant Guide Nether Guide

Cerulean Cerulean considers the looming figure who now casts a shadow upon the room. Cerulean remembers the unkind remarks passed by Harpy towards her Goat. Cerulean decides that since Harpy quite probably got herself into this mess, Harpy can quite definitely get herself out of it too. She turns to the unfamiliar character Jerry/Black and invites him to her table to sample a little of Silexion's fine wine, or draw from the Decanter, as he chooses. As she leads the mage away, she is almost knocked off her feet by the trio of HolyChaos, Azonalanthious and Tyrion, who suddenly halt, gawp and wonder at the spectacle which confronts them. She is about to exchange a word about the rematch with the rapidly approaching Wyvern too, but he seems preoccupied with the acquisition of flash bulbs and the process of rewinding his tongue. ------------------ Cerulean Dark Mistress of the Desert Guardian of the sacred stick of celery Member of: Scarlet or Blue? - SoB - BG Babe who is the Color of the Sky of The Great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen

Wyvern As Scarlett makes her way to Zools package, Wyvern stares in horror at the toothpick she dropped on the ground. Harpy's gestures and that gleem of mischeif in her eyes made the situation perfectly clear to Wyvern. "DEAR LORD! Did Scarlett start eating party cocktails without him?! What will Rapture say when he finds out?!" (Wyvern was never very bright...) The thoughts of the timings of Scarletts meals are interrupted as Wyverns brain suddenly registers that, apart from a fashionable feather boa, Scarlett is... well... naked actualy. Wyverns face blushes and an enormous grin spreads across his face. While his mouth doesn't open and remains fixed in the grin, his serpents toungue rolls out all the way down to his knee caps. This party was getting better and better... Wyvern heads over to a table where Holychaos, Azonalanthious, and Tyrion sit. Holychaos is drinking a beer, Azonalanthious is petting a little pink squirrel, and Tyrion is playing a game in which he stabs a knife on the table between his fingers at a rapid pace. Wyvern, who still has his mouth fixed in the same stupid grin and his toungue rolled all the way out of his mouth, comes up to the three mages and clears his throat. "Ahem." The three mages look up. "I would just like to inform you that Scarlett has arrived at the party..." The three mages ignore Wyvern, continuing their activities. "...she's currently tending to Ceruleans presents..." The three mages don't even bother looking up and continue their games. "...NAKED!" Booze is blown out of Holychaos' nostrils and he drops his glass, rushing to witness the event. Azonalanthious tosses the pink squirrel to the side and rushes to see the spectacle. The squirrel lands in the fruit punch bowl. Tyrion misses in his knife game and the knife goes straight through the palm of his hand and becomes embedded in the table. He cries out in pain and franticaly tries to take the knife out... not because it hurts, but because he wants to see Scarlett dressed in this manner as well! As all this happens, Wyvern desperatly searches for a camera of some sort. ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.B )-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny

Scarlett O'Harpy Scarlett feels decidedly unwell. If the contents of the tiny bottle make her feel just as strange as the miniature cake did, then she decides she doesn't want to know. Pinching the neck of the bottle between two fingers with obvious disdain, she lofts it into the distance, where it comes to rest on a side table with a disarming tinkle. Never one to remain out of the spotlight for long, she steps back into the brightness and strolls towards the stage. She is certain that this uneasy queasy feeling will pass, especially with the distraction of a stripper. She reaches the stage. She examines the act. Her nose turns up sniffily as she regards the trembling Goat, who is being alternately cheered and goaded by the masses. "Call that a horn?" she yells gracelessly as RG pirouettes to the soundtrack of Ye Full Monty Cerulean claps her hand over Harpy's mouth. "That wasn't very nice Scarlett", she chides. "He's doing his best!" Cerulean's hand now rests on Harpy's neck. That is to say the place where her mouth was just one second ago. Harpy appears to be standing on tip-toe, and is suddenly head and shoulders taller than her friend. Dragging her gaze from the hapless entertainer, Scarlett is about to treat Cerulean to witty retort, when she realises that firstly, she's not actually witty, and secondly Cerulean seems to be very far away indeed. In fact all of the mages seem to be unaccountably smaller. She shakes her head to clear it, squeezes her eyes shut, and then reopens them uneasily. There is no doubt about it, the floor is getting further and further away, and even Wyvern's toothy grin is becoming an ever diminishing glimmer. Mages step back in horror (or pleasure) at the sight of a nekkid Harpy growing taller and taller and taller. RagingDhil thankful for the lapse in attention scarpers offstage, hurls his Peredhil costume at Rapture and calls out "You take over from here", before scraping off the remnants of rotten fruit from his torso, and selecting a new costume from the backstage dressing room. Meanwhile Harpy's head has passed the glorious crystal chandeliers - to which Wyvern had attached multi-coloured spots - for atmosphere you understand, and she is rapidly soaring up through the second and third storeys. Upon sprouting through the floor of the fourth, she is just in time to see an ungainly looking wolf tumble into a roller-coaster. Harpy, being Harpy, sizes up the unfortunate Finnius, and decides that this sudden growth spurt has left her a tad peckish. Unable to grasp hold of him with her arms, which are hanging limply somewhere around floor two, Scarlett flashes a blinding smile, and champs her gigantic teeth together suggestively. ------------------ Scarlett O'Harpy The two phases of fire are craving and satiety

Jerry Jerry looked around and considered the facts: 1- He only knew the name and appearance of the most famous people on the board. 2- He was virtually unknown. 3- He had dressed up as a nobody (sorry Black). 4- There was no way he was ever going to have fun . So he decided to go offer his gift to Cerulean. She was well known and it was his only obligation to the party so no one could stop him. A faint glimmer of hope shone in Jerry/Black's eyes. ------------------ You know what they say: What goes up... is higher than it was before. I might be a newbie, but I'm not stupid. It's better to be rich & in good health than poor & sick. I thought I was undecided, but I'm not sure.

Finnius Finnid had woken up to locusts playing hopscotch on his spleen. With real scotch. So, he adventurously, or perhaps unknowingly, wandered the halls of this massive party, looking for the bathroom. Eventually, he found one, however, it was on the fourth floor, behind a small construction site. It took him several minutes to get through the thing and into the bathroom, whereupon he promptly fell into a door, and forgot why he came in there in the first place. Oh, well. The battered, bruised, and bombed blue mage in wolf's clothing then fell over a banister, and into what appeared to be the seat of a rollercoaster. Odd that such a thing should be- Whhheeeeeee ZOOOOM-POP-Zing Whrrrrrrrr-rush A now-dizzy little blue man manages to claw himself out of the rollercoaster and collapse on the Tastless-Teal™ linoleum. Meanwhile, somewhere right behind Cerulean, Pekkle was very happy that the nice lady had agreed to take her in, but was a bit irked that she couldn't see what was going on. Someone had been escorted up to the stage, and suddenly there were hundreds of people crowded in. Whenever she asked Cerulean what was going on, she just patted Pekkle on the head and absently said, "When you get older."

Scarlett O'Harpy With impeccable timing and the aplomb of the truly deluded, Harpy swans down the marble staircase. Her nekkidness is accentuated by a shimmering feather boa and an unapologetic smile. Some sixth sense has clearly alerted her to the fact that not only are there sexy, sexy mages present, but also chocolate covered locusts, unlimited alcohol and a male stripper avec horn. She begins to elbow her way towards the stage with enthusiasm, pausing only to offer a regal wave to Wyvern and his hangers-on. "Where's Rapture?" mouths Wyvern, puzzled. Scarlett raises an eyebrow, gestures vaguely behind her and pulls out a tooth-pick. Wyvern gets the picture. She is approaching the stage when she notices a beautifully gift-wrapped box and gazes at it with mounting avarice. Cerulean already has so many gifts, she surely wouldn't miss this one. And the wrapping is just so shiney and appealing. She and Scarlett are virtually twins after all, and what belonged to one should clearly belong to the other... Having easily justified the theft to herself, Harpy nudges the box to a dark corner of the room with the side of her foot. The box glides very readily across the floor, almost as though it were cooperating. She sidles alongside it. It is fortuitous indeed that those who observe Harpy's movements, are certainly not attending to her feet. Once safely in the gloom away from prying eyes, the parcel glows appealingly. Scarlett moistens her lips and begins attacking the ribbons which bind it fast. She rips off the label rashly, not caring it's so clearly to Cerulean, and from her good friend Zool, to boot. The box is swiftly unwrapped. Scarlett leans over and prises the lid off with her fingernails. Inside, resting on velvet, are a dainty cake and a tiny bottle stopped with a miniature cork. Scarlett stamps her foot with petulant disappointment. She had anticipated something far more exciting than that! She disregards the beautifully calligraphed tag which reads Welcome to Wonderland, and nibbles on the cake. ------------------ Scarlett O'Harpy The two phases of fire are craving and satiety

Wyvern Though still nervous of the outcome of the gambling games to come, Wyvern is releived to be able to take a little break from the games... He takes a few swigs from his Decanter and decides to see how the rest of the party is going. Wyvern had spent a great deal of time gambling, and hadn't greeted a number of the guests that had now arrived. How very un-hostly of him... Wyvern first makes his way to the entry way where Silexion has arrived. He passes by Cerulean and shakes Silexions hand with an enormous toothy grin. "Pleased to make your aquaintance. I'm Wyvern... (hands Silexion his card) Be sure to ask about my '7-year extension' savings program." In passing Cerulean on the way out of the entry way, Wyvern whispers to her: "Be sure to inform me when you're ready to gamble again. We still have unfinished buisness to attend to." Wyverns next stop is the booze swimming pool/Ride facilities. On seeing the current state of the pool, Wyvern spits out the booze he was sipping on and lets out a shriek. Locusts were EVERYWHERE! Walking around the pool side... flying through the air... swimming and water skiing in the pool... There were even entire groups of locusts hogging the rapids ride! Wyvern rushes onto the pool-side, avoiding locusts the best he can, and notices Haruchi talking to what appears to be a formaly dressed locust while Mindspawn franticaly writes thoughts on a parchment. Both are miraculously untouched by the swarm. Wyvern makes his way through the tons of flying locusts and manages to reach the two untouched mages. The formal locust seemed to be finishing a sentence of a conversation. Haruchi is nodding his head while Mindspawn is rapidly jotting notes, muttering "fascinating." "...and so, you see Haruchi, us locusts are treated FAR less extravagantly then our demeaner would sugge..." The locusts sentence is cut short as Wyverns foot comes down with an enormous stomp on the formal (and now former) locust. *SQUASH!* "Wyvern! What are you doing?! You stepped on Monty!" Haruchi cries. Mindspawn sighs and jots down Don't let formal locusts get close to Wyvern "Monty?!" exclaims Wyvern. "MONTY??!!" (Wyvern points to the pool and the rides) "Are you BLIND Haruchi?! You've turned the beautifull pool-side into Locust Land™!" Haruchi and Mindspawn are not paying attention to Wyvern, however, but rather are preparing what appears to be a locust funeral ceremony for Monty. Wyvern sighs and feels a migraine coming on. He would just have to call the exterminator... Wyvern notices a hyper-active Minta-Nim heading towards the performance center and dance stage of the party along with three of Wyverns ogre minions. The minions are carrying a tied up RagingGoat... Wyvern decides to investigate. He passes what appears to be a rumbling package that is zig-zagging across the ground with a steadily increasing amount of fervor. On the cover of the package is written: From: Zool To: Cerulean Have fun and be carefull! Wyvern decides he doesn't even WANT to know what's in the package. It was the birthday girls problem. By the time Wyvern had reached the dance floor, the lights had dimmed and the people previously dancing had stopped and grown silent. Wyverns minion Buba slowly reads a manuscript handed to him by Minta. "Aaannnd... nowww... Buuuu- Buuu (grunts) Buba (Buba looks at a word on the parchment confused) p- preeesent on beehhaf of Minta Roooose: Raggging-dhil." There is an applause from the audience and Buba grunts and bows the best he can, relieved at having managed to read what he considered an incredibly complex parchment. Two stage lights turn on and shine down on the stage... more precisely on a terrified RagingGoat disguised as Peredhil who trembles there. The enormous audience remains silent and waits for Raging-dhils act to commence... ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Diplomat and representitive of Succubi or Bust (S.o.B )-BG Unofficial member of the Mr. Bunny fan club. "GIVE ME A CARROT GODDAMMIT!" -Mr. Bunny