Peredhil

I like the analogy! Perhaps we ARE stars, observing each other's heavenly bodies? -Peredhil

I hope when you finish this, it will be a constrasting piece, not a continuation of pain. Peredhil hugs Yui-chan. This too shall pass. Only death doesn't change. -Peredhil

Well stated, well phrased, and a call to arms. If you never push a limit or rise above the grey of existence, have you truly lived? If you deny all potential pain, you've denied all potential love as well. Although I'd put a bid in for the breathing eating and breeding part... -Peredhil

(Of course) This is well written, and your talent is consistently highly displayed... But I think the biggest twist ending you could deliver to me would not to have a twist ending! You have such an excellent faculty for seeing on both sides of the coin simultaneously... -Peredhil

Peredhil frowns as he reads the too-well written poem, but laughs as he sees agreement to the post he's yet to write. I suppose it's because of the confessions I've been hearing, and the support I've tried to lend, but this reminds me of a child caught in an abusive trap. The abuser too often expresses regret - after the fact and in retreat, while too often the child can't get past the short-sighted (hopeful?) escape implicit in the first part of the refrain, If I die before I wake... Some wounds take years to scar, if ever they do. -Peredhil (who sometimes tries to be strong so the weak can find strength, but knows his limitations as a counselor.)

Peredhil looks dubiously at the poem. I-it's very LONG. Grimly he digs in, and find an unexpected pleasure in the meter, like finding a four-step in a waltz tempo. Reading on, he begins to smile, then gasps at the bloody image. Clutching his heart to his chest, he urges on the man with the cane past the omens of doom. Not lost! he cries, knowing too well the feeling, only to finally arrive with relief at the door. Doh! Not the MILK! Turning to a near neighbor, he stammers urgently, Got milk?

True love doesn't require an ego affirmation or response. It's an outpouring such as you captured. The pain is all there - as is the hard to capture mature response. Some of us take years to learn this wisdom. So very well done. I agree (again, and I'm finding, often) with Tralla. I really like this. If that isn't my first response, heartfelt, I usually don't bother to figure out why the poem provoked a response at all. -Peredhil

I'll leave structural analysis to others more erudite than I - I knows what I likes, and this is one of 'em. I felt swept along on the rush home - you kept my interest and my inner eye focused through out. I've liked every poem of yours I've read - which I could see more... (hint, hint). -Peredhil

A sad song indeed, but there are many in this boat. A wit once said women date Vinny, but marry Melvin... Being honorable and true is not only its own reward, but as you get older, the women appreciate someone honest and faithful more than dominating and abusive. Be true to you. Well written. -Peredhil

The reassuring paths of self destruction. At least the pleaures give momentary relief from the constant pains. And one knows what to expect - there are no terrible surprises, just the heavy sigh of recognition. Sometimes healing isn't the hard part - it's learning to live with the emptiness of loss. Pain can give identity, can be resisted for strength, can provide inspiration, can provide an excuse. When pain is the moon in one's world, finding a new light to carry one through the night'semptiness can be a challenge... -Pendantic Peredhil

Peredhil whispers, I hope your continuation finds self and love. Enduring love is two strong individuals coming together and building a relationship, not a transitory loss of self in feeling that inevitably recedes like the tides...

very poignantly stated state of affairs.

A black humor to describe the reality of an unprepared deadline. Anyone who has ever had reality rush on them with winged feet and found them unprepared can appreciate this one. I like it. I live it. I feel it. -Peredhil

C.S. Lewis said that the only ones who hate Escapism are Jailors. It's a delicate balancing act indeed, but it's possible to be real and yet find the creative fantasy in life. It needed be like a light and its shadow, for one only sees the umbra when one's turned their back to the light. Rather find the glory in the veins of a leaf, the beauty in the tears of a child, the music of rumbled voices slightly out-of-focus in a classroom. Be aware of every day wonders... -Peredhil

Peredhil comes in followed by a morose Guido, who has been dressed like Annie, complete to a wig of red curly hair. At Peredhil's bright smile, Guido begins softly singing in a deep slightly off-key baritone. "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love ya, tomorrow, it's..." Peredhil steps forward and begins his voice over. Some times it feel that way You just can't face another day You've dissed your friends and they won't play You've messed your life and don't want to stay But rarely does one door close That another doesn't open And if you'll listen I'd suppose You'll find a way of copin' Cause... Peredhil blends his voice with Guido, who steps forward and bellows, "Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love ya, tomorrow, it's only a daaaaay a-waaaaaayyyyyyyy!"

Why do I envision Myth writing this Poem? Stale, yours is a FINE companion! Well done, the both of you! -Peredhil

Peredhil laughs softly. How wonderfully whimsical. Although given the sleep schedules around my home, if you played music or sang in the shower, someone would prolly try to recreate the shower scene from Psycho... You know, when you're just writing light verse, you're a marvelous pleasure to read. It's nice to see some fun work from you. -Peredhil

Y'all cited my favorite line - but then, grey is my favorite 'color' (I've been told grey isn't a color, but rather a shade or hue or some such nonsense (don't you just love parens? (I do,))) and has been for a while. You have a nice sense of 'flow' in your works, and a curiously haunting touch. Some of your lines rise up when I'm done, at odd moments and I have to pause to remember where I read them. I like the way your poetry affirms your worth. A pleasant thing to read in one whose poems are so worthy. -Peredhil

Great love song! You really should consider an album. In the refrain, when I recite this aloud, I stumble on the "I" and the "But I" found... It's prolly me, but does the tongue naturally flow? You know it must be good when I'm concerning myself with how well the tongue moves when singing it! -Peredhil

evocative imagery. Dark plot line. well done. -Peredhil

Good work, happy to see you posting so much. Your raw honest emotion evokes a like response in the reader. Your strong word choice amplifies that. This song (for so I hear it in my inner ear,) gives a lighthouse beacon to those who are emotionally frozen in an icy disaster. The thaw will come. Good job. -Peredhil

It flows well. Don't worry about Stereotypes. When you hit college, they teach you that: "Steal from one, it's plagarism. Steal from a thousand and it's a thesis paper." No one is truly original, everyone is inspired by something. As long as you let it all flow through the honesty filter of your heart, you'll be original enough. Don't forget to chech apostrophes and spelling - when someone's speed reading, mistakes act as a snare. I'm a sucker for the archaic though, Ancient as I am. I'm really happy to see you have literary talents to match your artistic ones. -Peredhil

I love Calvin and Hobbs... But also your poem. I get a picture of Shiva or Kali when I read that; The duality of the Hindu dieties. -Peredhil

I'm a-LIKING this one! You're good enough that I felt your climb and began to climb with you. I sighed in disappointment and hurt as we fell - not another tragedy, but you'd bound me to your words by that point and my heart had no choice but to tumble with you. How uplifting that you stood up, shook off, and let go, freeing the reader as well. May your eclipses always be few. -Peredhil

well done. Vivid imagery and captures the angst. Looks suspiciously at the syllable counts in the second stanza, compares them to the 1st and 3rd, but moves on. You've a strong voice to express inner torments. I hope you can find another key to your creativity. -Peredhil