Peredhil

Be careful where you place your love Relationship's hormones too easily lock, What seems at first to be gentle dove Can morph into rending Hawk. There is a love that's in this life That's true and can faithfully endure It stays faithful through the daily strife It's balm is misery's cure.

good start, nice tease. Welcome back! hug -P

I like it,but the spelling! clutches his head in mock agony -P

This would be a neat seed around which to build a Fantasy World. There are so many unanswered questions in your short very very descriptive text. questions are essential to World Building. In other words - I like it. -P

Peredhil raises a finger to protest... and then realizes that he was probably counted as a Legion Initiate rather than a Pen Ancient when he posted and falls silent...

amazing intensity distilled into so few lines. evocative.

Laughs and smacks the punster who's given away the answer so playfully. I like it. Yes, for us it is obvious, but we are wordsmiths. I know a number of people who wouldn't glomp onto the answer. You should write a companion piece about rainbows. Like this one, they can only be seen when you've turned your back on the light. -Peredhil

I wish I could remember the Artist... When growing up, I recall hearing a song on a 78... Chorus: I got the little boy blues, I got them in my heart, There's no use bein' little because you're really doomed from the start. (The little boy bluuuues) My Pa says I'm too bashful My Ma says I'm too bold My sister just won't play with me She says she's much too old (chorus) My teacher's no exception She's just like all the rest She asks me my opinion- Then she tells me she knows best! (chorus) ack out of time! Thought you'd relate to the timelessness of the theme.... -Peredhil

Peredhil looks strangely at Rev' Heh, I have a soft phone-voice... and am often called Ma'am - even after correcting the other person. When I first read this poem, I flashed onto the Eastern image that white is a color associated with death, not purity. From there I drifted to the idea that evil is a cold unfeeling thing which is why the punishing hell is firey. I've noticed that people tend to move apart and numb out when they're being negative. All in all, neat poem.

How fascinating to read the two interpretations. The only thing I have in common with either is a bluesy feel... In my personal opinion on poetry, as long as the poem enables a connection between thought and feelings, the writer has succeeded. When it can be read and felt by many people on many levels, they've exceeded greatly. -Peredhil

How neat! I love a good stream of conscious improv. you do it well!

This reads on so many levels I haven't time to respond to them all! Even independent of the Character history which goes into the posters name, this reads well. Taken in context with the Lord Kendricke Legionary Honour, this is fascinating. One favorite writer of mine, Hodgell I think, explores the two-edges of Honour's paradox. This fits well with that. It also speaks to the multitudes of people I known, that wear a mask to the world but feel quite differently inside, either numb, hollow, or whatever. Drat, just started and have to go! -P

I've always like this song. Gives emotional echos of quietly assessing and inspecting guards in the wee hours of the morning, preparing to bug out again in the day.

As poetry should, you've evoked meaning with in me that may not be what was meant. I can't help but project my own echos of Archmage vs Everquest into this poem. The skies of Archmage were tight, purposefully, with opportunities for teamwork, esprit de corps, the tensions and addictions of combat in a 'safe' setting. The games cycles were short enough to produce a constant feeling of urgency and immediacy, but cyclic enough to give familiarity and renewed energy. The game would wait on you, and a skillful player could go a week without playing and survive (although not excell (unless he was Dave McW.)) EverQuest is open-ended, lacking any interior urgency or focus. The focus is more on the interaction of the people, but they must provide their own goals. The game doesn't produce the same sense of identity and cohesion, reacting against a common exterior threat. In the EQ land of the lotus eaters, there is a tendency to wander away exploring minor details or inclinations. Leadership in this environment is more like herding cats. The payoffs are somewhat intangible. Leveling up only leads to more leveling up. Clicking in a virtual Skinner box leads endlessly to more clicking, with no resolution in sight... Shrugs But then, the only reason to game ANY game at all, is for the people... And in both Archmage and Everquest, the Gods are fickle and largely uncaring. One might indeed shake one's fist at the heavens and cry havoc!

A scorecard! You think of everything I want, don't you? Hugs and zips away again.

Reverie threw out the challenge to the IRC Pen at large - write a poem for another member. Since I still owe Zool for supporting me and encouraging back before I wrote, my subject became obvious. Wielder of the Rubber Chicken's Power, Wearer of the Killer Toupee, User of the loaded Squirting Flower Always has something witty to say. Faithful friend who can disagree And still affirm a person's worth, Visionary Seeker with disturbing glee, Solemn clown of mirth. Your Friend Always, Elrond Peredhil, 31

Stands and cheers Zool's "Story in every Syllable" guide. And folks wonder why I love this guy! Ell - Rahnd Pear - eh - dhil, Thur-tee wun. -Elrond Peredhil, 31 Ancient of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword Bard of Terra Gone Earthbound Angel of Apocolypse Initiate of the Legion of the White Rose, Order of the Quill

Unfrightened by Long Posts, Able to read a Kendricke in a single bound, Peredhil peruses.. There are whole volumes of source material in what you've expressed. Makes my Pen itchy... I personally believe exercises like this are very useful. As we take the feelings and wrestle them into words, it gives perspective and completeness to the thoughts they trigger. It's one technique to move past trauma and grow from it. The "I" of life never seems to change from the inside. Writing a journal really brings home how feelings and attitudes can do 180 degree turns over the years. I "feel" the same as I did when I was twenty, but when I look closely, I've changed so much! I struggle against tendencies now that I wallowed in back then for one thing! Good post. Thank you for having the strength to share honestly. Being a vulnerable writer seems to take great courage to me. -Peredhil

You are REALLY getting to be worth reading. It is so neat to compare the works you produce now with the posts you made back on the UBB. You've come so far! And I knew you had talent waaay back then. buffs his nails lightly on his vest Always strive for growth! -P

Good stuff Mehnert! In the third line: Quote: Golden strings of in my chest are plucked, Of what? Is a word missing, or just my understanding? Other than that, I think you're getting better and better. -P

Peredhil sneaks online for a moment, dodging his studies. Wonderful wonderful news on graduation! He hugs her. Even better news on publication! He hugs her again. I'm so terribly proud of you! See, at the risk of saying I told you so - I told you so! You ARE that good! Continue to believe in yourself and grow. -Peredhil

Good stuff, inspired by a wonderful Muse.

"It sucks" is never a valid criticism, it is only abuse. In my original conception, posting a posting post immediately in the thread was just to let people know you were reading, and that you had a feeling response to the piece. It can be pretty lonely and dangerous putting your heart out in black and white and wondering if anyone can relate - or is even reading. I had great sympathy for Falcon's Reply Raven. The reason I made the Critic's Corner was for 'negative' criticsim or indepth criticism. I have this terrible us/them view of the world sometimes which I picked up in theater. All corrections are made in rehearsals or behind the scenes. The show is presented to the audience and the cast present a united front. Thus, spelling/grammar corrections - Critic's Corner. Anything that might be construed as negative MUST have a reason attached, and be expressed as your opinion. Try to include an option or solution as well. "In my opinion, thought it sucked because in my experience people just don't react like that, they usually react like this" or, "in my opinion, it would've been stronger in the 7th and 9th lines if you added a syllable - try reading it out loud when you're done as a double-check." In my opinion, that's the sort of reason Nyyark made his Draft Room - to show allow people to develop a finished product that could be displayed at the Pen, and to show the interactive growth/feedback process so everyone could learn. If the Critic's Corner was used properly, there would be no need for his Draft Room. None of us are professional critics. But all of us are sensitive, creative people, with life experience that we can share. And that's one of the foundations the Jechum and I built into the Pen when we moved it here. Just my two cents. I'm a retired harried Ancient with no vote, and you listen to me at your peril. -Peredhil

Dark Fenix!!! Peredhil is lured out for his last post before going off the net for a while. Seekers of Babylon, Scholar's Division Unite! (to the sounds of Thunder Cats - HO!) RAh, glad you showed up. -Peredhil

Peredhil has a good laugh at Wyvern's parody of Archmage. For the non-Archmage community out there - what was parodied. 1) Archmage: A formerly free on-line turn-based fantasy war-game. Players took the part of a mage specializing in one of five different 'colors' of magic. Drew heavily on Microprose Master of Magic, Wizard of the Coast's Magic:The Gathering card game, and a number of fantasy novels and Role Playing Games. The Archmage player juggled limited resources to gather land, recruit or magically summon armies of fantasy creatures, store up geld (gold coins), and mana (magical energy necessary for casting spells. For some odd reason, this very flawed game attracted a number of the intelligent and creativity of the world, who met through the small text "War Arrow" which could be sent with each attack, through posting on the Universal Bulletin Boards (UBB), and through internet chat programs such as IRC and ICQ. The game allowed for friends and like-minded people to form Guilds. Although a war-game, an Archmage culture grew up within to make the game more 'fair', and many many posts were written defending varying points of view. Diplomacy, and therefore the ability to write creatively and well outside the game, became nearly as important as the ability to manage resources in the game. 2) Colors of Magic: Ascendent (White) - Angels, Healing, 'Good' spiritual magic. Nether (Black) - Undead, decay, 'Evil' spiritual magic. Verdant (Green) - Nature-based Druidic theme, Flora and Fauna, creature intensive Eradication (Red) - Fire-based, Dragons, direct-damage spells. Phantasm (Blue) - Water/Psychic based magic. Noted for high-spell level and the ability to use difficult spells from all the other colors. 8.) Stacks/stacking: All units formed armies. depending on abilities, primary attacking type, the power of the attack, and the number of units in an army, armies would be given a numerical value of inate worth. Thus a creature with a melee attack with the Flying ability would normally have a greater value than a comparable unit without Flying. Each Army had it's own total value, so 10 Dragons would have a much different value than 10 Faerie Dragons. A mage could normally use 10 Armies in a combat. Stacking is summoning/recruiting or disbanding(firing from the job) individual units in armies so that all the armies would enter combat in a specified order. This was important because game mechanic resolved the fight in a fixed manner, biggest valued flying vs flying, biggest valued non-flying vs non-flying, 2nd biggest vs 2nd biggest, all the way to the Ranged attackers (Archers, Magic Users) who attacked Flyers. By juggling the values of your Armies (also called stacks) so that their order (stacking) was to your preference, you could match up your strengths against the enemy mage's weaknesses. 9) Guilds: groups of Mages who ganged up for Role-Playing, mutual defense or offense, and/or friendship. 10) C.O.S: Contract of the Soul. A very deadly Nether spell which often killed the mage casting it. It provided ultimate defense/revenge for the caster however, as it was the only way to summon thousands of Devil units during a combat. These Devils normally destroyed the top (most powerful and expensive) armies(stacks) of the attacking mage. 11) R.D: Red Dragon. The Ultimate (most powerful) Eradication Unit. Very expensive cost in geld and mana, even ate people too. But resistent to nearly all spells, and had a huge firey attack. 12) Nixes: Short for Phoenixes, the Verdant Mage's Ultimate Unit. Not nearly as strong as a Red Dragon, one out of every five would regenerate after the combat, plus they immolated the first melee (hand-to-hand) army to attack them. 13) Magewar: Another name for the game Archmage. 14) MARI: the Korean-based company that owns and operates the game Archmage. 15) Multimager: The game rules allowed each player to only have one mage. Some people sought an advantage by creating and playing more than one mage. Yes, this was cheating, but the perception of how 'bad' multimaging is tells much about the person and how they perceive and relate to rules and authority. 16) Descent of Holy Being: An Ultimate spell for Ascendant mages used to summon their high-end unit, the Dominion. Not knowing what the DoHB spell did, or asking for help on how to summon Dominions was the sign of a 'Newbie' and often viciously attacked by those either jaded or fresh out of Newbie status themself. 17) AAs - Arch Angels. A Complex unit available to Ascendants, Verdants, and Phantasm Magi noted for it's ability to absorb damage. Fairly good resistances, Flying, good Hit Points and its Healing ability all lent themselves for making this a nice defensive unit.