Wyvern

I also really liked this poem, Regel. I agree with Zen that the imagery you used is excellent, and my personal favorite image was probably that of the "Heartbeat booming." It really accentuated both the frantic pacing of the poem and the themes of danger present throughout. I also agree with others that the rhythm of the poem excelled it forward, and I liked how the last two stanzas had a slightly slower rhythm when the moral was depicted after the race had ended. Well done.

Purple_shadows anxiously paces back and forth in the Recruiter's Office, sighing to herself and casting worried glances towards those who have gathered in the office in support of her application. Turning towards Falcon2001 and lightly biting her lip, the nervous applicant quietly mutters: "Falcon, is it true what they say about this Elder of Initiates person? Does he really occasionally take short lunch breaks?" Falcon considers the question for a moment, then regretfully shakes his head. "No... I'm afraid Elder Wyvern tends to only take long lunch breaks." "Enormous lunch breaks." interjects Loki Wyrd while nodding to Falcon's response. "Colossal lunch breaks." grumbles Alaeha in contemplation. "Though I suppose it all depends on one's definition of 'lunch break' in the end. Can lunch be used as a slang synonym for 'tax'?" "Don't worry." giggles Arwen while winking towards the applicant. "We'll be willing to sit with you here in the office for the first few months of waiting." Purple_shadows' eyes widen at this statement and she practically faints at the thought of the extensive wait, only to suddenly becomes revived as Wyvern barges into the office through the main entrance at that very moment. Turning and bowing towards the applicant while waving to the others that have gathered in the messy room, the overgrown lizard quickly murmers some incomprehensible apology for his lateness before immediatly getting to purple_shadows' application poem and reading it over. After having finished with the poem, Wyvern flashes purple_shadows a grin full of razor sharp teeth and hisses: "A very good application poem, purple_shadows, and certainly acceptable material. But before I stamp it accepted, there's a little contract I'll also need for you to sign." Having said this, Wyvern stifles a gale of evil laughter and pulls out an extremely long parchment with a small space for a signature at the end. The faces of the members in the office go blank as purple_shadows raises a brow curiously and reads the first line of the contract. "I, purple_shadows, do hereby agree to cooperate with Wyvern, Patron Saint of Parties, to help with colorful lighting at numerous social events, as listed in the following 12,200,657 clauses...?" Wyvern snickers and is about to respond when Arashi swiftly hits him over the head with an Anti-Wyvern Mallet™, having swiftly learned the useful technique from Melba and Falcon. The reptilian Elder quickly stamps purple_shadows application ACCEPTED before grumbling curses under his breath and collapsing into an unconscious heap of scales on the ground. ;-) OOC: On a more serious note: a very good poem, purple_shadows, the imagery was evocative and the structure was original. Your application is ACCEPTED, welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to reading more of your works and also hope to participate with you in some writing projects, even if they have nothing to do with the lightings for parties. ;-) Once again, welcome!

Arashi sighs and shifts in his applicant easychair, glancing towards the exit of the Office and wondering if he should use it as a potential escape route from boredom. He had been waiting in his easychair for over fourty eight hours now, and the infamous Elder of Initiates had yet to show his scaly face. Glancing towards Falcon, Peredhil, and purple shadow in a worried manner, the anxious applicant raises himself from his seat and is about to head to the office exit when suddenly, Melba barges into the room dragging Wyvern behind her. The Almost Secretary of Initiates growls to herself and tosses Wyvern to Arashi's feet in a rage, cursing at the greedy reptile before noticing the presence of the new applicant and politely bowing. She scowls at Wyvern one final time before kindly smiling towards the others that have gathered in the Office and muttering: "Sorry for Mr. Wyvern's lateness... it seems that his latest Almost Dragonic Travel Agency idea wasn't the biggest success. Fortunatly, I managed to stop him before he used the last of his flight mileage to evade debt collectors by catching a plane to New Mexico." Wyvern whimpers something quietly from his mangled position on the ground before he's swiftly silenced by a triple-twist judo kick from Melba. Peredhil winces at this spectacle, then politely mutters: "Thank you for your help, Melba. I'm certain we can handle it from here." "Why thank you, Mr. Peredhil." says Melba. "And you're most welcome!" With that, the Almost Secretary bows once again towards Arashi and then departs from the Office, hoping to catch Brute somewhere in the hall while taking her much-needed coffee break. As she leaves the room, Wyvern shifts in his position on the ground, coughing a few times and extending a battered claw while painfully whispering: "Application... please." Arashi frowns in sympathy at the lizard, then hands him his application poem. Reading over the poem, Wyvern reaches the line about "cloud nine" before immediatly jumping to his scaly feet and frantically exclaiming: "Need a trip to Cloud Nine?! Would you like to visit Nirvana?!" Arashi jumps and stutters as the overgrown lizard grabs his shoulders and begins shaking him around. "Fly Almost Dragonic, before it goes bankrupt! We guarantee you'll get at least halfway to your destination before your flight is cancelled. Try our luxurious gryphon liner, courteousy of Kalypso (without her knowing it quite yet...) We promise you won't starve to death over the course of the few weeks the flight takes, you'll only get a little famished..." Arashi's face twists into a grimace and he's about to respond when Falcon2001 bashes Wyvern over the head with an Anti-Wyvern Mallet™. The overgrown lizard wavers, stamping Arashi's application ACCEPTED just as he collapses into an unconscious heap on the ground. ;-) OOC: A nice poem, Arashi, and an ACCEPTED application. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! Apologies for the delay in responding, I look forward to having you as an active member in the community.

One million eyes are calmly staring at obscenity, vanity, lore, while one million voices are swearing over needless violence and gore. One million hands are clapping for sorrow, anger and strife, while one million minds are tracking a single celebrity's life. One million people are left in the cold as the counter-revolution is aired, while millions of thoughts from the angered and bold are abandoned for the timid and scared. One million lies and one million choices, one million strands labeled one of a kind are deafening one million pertinent voices for one million dollars, one at a time.

Wyvern grins and applauds Krista's poem. The title immediatly grabbed my attention, and the poem certainly didn't disappoint. It reminded me of hip hop boasting in a very good way, particularly the last line, though the theme of immortalization through poetry set a slightly more serious tone. I particularly liked the provocative imagery you used throughout, as it made for a very entertaining read the whole way through. The only line that I felt might be improved a bit is the "and nature`s finally been won." line, as I felt that it didn't evoke the same image of the destruction of nature that the line before it implied. Clever and well done.

Wyvern clears his throat of a few ashes and adjusts his tie in an agitated manner, slowly marching towards the Annual Charity Ball and ready to put all of Peredhil's helpful advice to use. As the lizard walks, he practices numerous techniques that the polite ancient had taught him, including saying phrases like "spa-... errr... thank you" and bowing without letting his tail fly upward at a 72 degree angle. The overgrown lizard hadn't quite mastered the latter technique yet, but was confident that he was fully prepared for a night of thorough waiting. If that old fortune teller hag's predicition turned out to be correct, great geld and fortune were now within his reach. Wyvern arrives at the enormous, decoratively lighted building of the Annual Charity Ball, and smiles as he stares up at the sign spanning the upper wall of the mansion. As the overgrown lizard reads over the sign, he freezes in place while the polite smile plastered on his face suddenly loses all of it's happiness. Squinting his eyes to make sure he's reading correctly, the lizard whispers to himself: Annual Charity Ball for Innocent Kittens Abused Under Almost Dragonic Inc. Experimentation... Wyvern stutters nervously to himself and jumps as he notices a bearded halfling in a formal waiter uniform approaching him. Quickly glancing back at the sign, then at the halfling again, the reptilian Elder thinks fast and tosses on a fake moustache and pair of googly eye glasses that he always kept in case of emergencies. "Hi." mutters the formally dressed halfling. "I'm Ziggy, head of the waiters at this Charity Ball, nice to meet you. I take it you're our new waiter for the evening, correct?" Wyvern whimpers silently and slowly nods. "Well nice to meet you, and thanks for taking the job. I realize that 2 geld is not much for an evening's work. Now let's see here... your name is pronounced 'Weevern," correct?" Wyvern stutters and considers this for a moment, then decides that it's best to nod in the affirmative for his own personal health. "Excellent, please follow me. Brilliant dress-up by the way, those googly eye glasses are sure to be a crowd pleaser! Oh, before I forget, toss on one of these." Ziggy hands Wyvern a pin that reads "The Best Almost Dragonic Product is a Sued One," which almost causes the lizard to faint. Fortunatly, Wyvern manages to regain his composure and jitters nervously as he follows Ziggy through a back door into the kitchen of the Ball. "So listen..." mutters Ziggy as he leads Wyvern through the kitchen. "The three main courses you'll be serving this evening are Wyvern-must-die souflee, Greedy Lizard a la flambe, and Lawsuite and Attorney Contract Stew. Remember: the theme of the evening is hatred towards Almost Dragonic Inc., so be sure to act genuinely spiteful and venomous towards anything even remotely related to that corporation." Wyvern gulps and jerks his head up and down in a nervous nod, slently praying for survival.

Great depiction of the writing process, and how only a piece of the spectrum of a writer's thoughts can ever be condensed into words. The word choice was excellent throughout, and I particularly liked how the poem seemed to flow and rhyme more as it progressed until the last line, where the structure was completely cut off. I thought that this abrupt change in the last line accentuated the notion of being "separate from the whole" nicely. I also thought the way that the process of condensing and refining was referred to as something cruel was intriguing. It gave the piece a very negative tone, and portrayed the art of refining thoughts as more of an obstacle than a utility. It's kind of interesting to compare this poem to Yui's "These Words" in this sense, since the two poems deal with very different aspects of a similar subject. Finally, the title "Identity" seemed to add another layer of meaning to the poem, since people ultimately portray themselves to one another through this process of refining thoughts, whether it be through writing or dialogue. In that sense, the poem speaks to the notion of never being able to fully display one's personality in writing, or in any other form of communication for that matter. Anyhow, apologies for the interpretative analysis (I've been trying to stick to structural these days ;-p). One thing I really like about your poems in general is that they always get me seriously thinking, hence this semi-coherent collection of thoughts. Good stuff fo' sho'. ;-)

Wyvern cheers in fond memory of AoA cat haikus, and adds a couple: Cuban cat cigar Nips the nose and engines toes Lets honk the meow horn! Prowl like a panther At night, when none are playful And cry in sad squeaks. Litter pyramid Tomb of ancient tuna fish Built with these bare paws. My personal favorite of the ones you posted here is probably still the "accidental meow" one, which is perfect, though the snow one is a very close second place. All of your haikus are very clever, though. On "Pearl," since I didn't get a chance to comment on it the first time around: I really liked the imagery in this, particularly the way that vanity seems to be implied by the subject of the poem resting in "velvet" and being described as "nacreous" and "glowing" in the last stanza. The entire beach metaphor was also very well done, and I really like how the ocean was personified in the last stanza. I thought that the structure was excellent as well, as both the rhyme scheme in each stanza and the slanted rhyme at the end of each stanza connecting them seemed to add to the rhythm of the poem. The syllable count also contributed to this, and I liked how the third line of each stanza was longer than the others with nine syllables. Very good poem.

I really liked this piece, Valdar, and thought that you captured the elements of both Peredhil and Tolkein very nicely throughout. I particularly liked when Elrond interrupted Gandalf's speech with his embittered response, and also thought that the shocking twist ending was great. In addition, while my knowledge of Tolkein history is limited and I didn't pick up on all the references littered throughout, I think you did a stunning job of incorporating the plot and characters of Tolkein into your writing. The only potential improvement I can think of is the tone of the ending. You mentioned that you wanted this to be a happy story, and while the ending was great, it had a certain negative tone to it. ("dark basement," "cold clasp of steel," etc.) Then again, this was probably done intentionally to leave the ending somewhat ambivalent to the reader... Good stuff! With that, Wyvern grins and nods to the notion of a certain AoA influence, snickering as he notices that Steeldragon is amongst those who reviewed the piece behind the scenes... ;-)

Wyvern dodges numerous samurai sheep that have gathered in the Cabaret Room as he makes his way towards a confection stand at the center of the room, carefully stepping over countless taloned hooves and practically tripping on an abandoned set of rugged wool nunchucks in the process. Arriving at the stand, Wyvern takes out a check list and glances around the room before muttering the list of items to himself: "Samurai sheep aligned in a traditional Baaaaashido formation, check. Baaaaarry White music playing in the background, check. Lamb Chef Stew, with extra pieces of Lamb Chef in it, check. Cake fit for an army of honorable samurai warriors, check. Madoka's gift..." Wyvern takes out a large shepherdess stick/ninja bo with a little pink ribbon wrapped around it and places it on the table. "...check. Booth for sheep awareness and recruitment to Madoka's dojo, check. Wolf in sheep's clothing pineata. Say, do we have a wolf in sheep's clothing pineata?" Wyvern glances around the room and suddenly realizes that all the samurai sheep are glaring at him with evil expressions on their faces. The overgrown lizard gulps and begins to back away as two sheep start approaching him with a large bag made of wool. Sweating profusely and noticing a number of sheep sharpening their hooves, the overgrown lizard whimpers: "Eheheh... hey listen fellas, I know you're probably still a bit peeved at me for that incident where I tried to sell your own hooves back to you, as well as that time when Racouol and I kidnapped two of your sheep, but let's let bygones be bygones eh? Ehehehe... uh-oh..." The overgrown lizard clenches his teeth and shuts his eyes as two sheep pounce on him. Fortunatly, he is saved at that moment as someone else steps into the room, causing the sheep to go back to their usual innocent baaaaing. ;-) OOC: Have a happy birthday, Madoka.

Zen's patience slowly begins to wane as Wrenwind finishes knitting half of a king-sized quilt while waiting in the office for Wyvern's arrival. The eager applicant calmly performs ancient breathing rituals in order to calm any temper or anxiety he might experience, then decides that it might be best to inquire Wrenwind about the reptilian Elder's whereabouts. Just as he turns to do so, however, the main entrance slams open and Wyvern comes striding into the office. Immediatly turning towards Zen and bowing in a traditional manner, the overgrown lizard hisses: "Apologies for the lateness, I had a few difficulties smuggling Almost Dragonic brand fireworks into the Pen for any upcoming New Years celebrations that might occur... amazing how frightened some folks can get over a few fireworks." Zen raises a brow curiously as several explosions are heard from a distant hall and Wrenwind's face goes a bit pale. "Anyhow" continues Wyvern. "I'll be getting to your application now without further ado, thanks for your immense patience!" With that, the overgrown lizard snatches Zen's application poem and reads it over carefully a few times. After having finished with it, the greedy Elder grins and hisses: "A nice poem, Zen. And a very impressive back catalogue, I might add." Zen scratches his chin and raises his brow as Wyvern takes out a list along with an ancient book. "It says on this list that you specialize in patience, and have been affiliated with mahiyana buddhism before... plus, there's this book." Wyvern holds up the book he carries, which is entitled The Art of Zen. "I skimmed through the book, and didn't find too many drawings." explains Wyvern. "But the artwork that was present in it was quite interesting, very scientific and diagram-like. It's amazing how editors these days feel the need to add in a couple hundred pages of liner notes for each picture!" Zen's jaw drops at Wyvern's ignorant interpretation of the title, and the applicant considers correcting him before Wyvern continues: "I'd be curious to see a collaboration between you and a fellow Pen Initiate known as _Zen_... who knows, the two of you may have a few things in common!" With that, the overgrown lizard stamps Zen's application ACCEPTED, making sure that no ink trails off on the sides in the hopes of avoiding name confusion... ;-) OOC: On a more serious note, a nice poem and an ACCEPTED application Zen. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! My apologies once again for the waiting period, I look forward to reading more of your posts and participating with you in community projects. Once again, welcome!

Wyvern strikes a grin full of razor-sharp teeth and cheers as Orlan makes the move announcement, rubbing his scaly mits together in anticipation at the thought of Hostrocket's 99% up-time guarantee. No longer would his schemes be foiled by annoying periods of Pen inavailability...! "I'll also add my thanks to Orlan for his hard work, as well as to the other Elders that have been helping in getting this host move set up. It's definitely appreciated by this humble lizard." Having said this, Wyvern begins stashing his Almost Dragonic products into the spare compartments of other peoples suitecases, hoping the illegal materials won't be spotted by immigration officials during the move...

At first, I was going to judge Aardvark's stories through a typical analysis of structure, tone, etc… But I lasted until “Fearless” before the daunting task began haunting me in my sleep, and “Patience” finally threw me over the edge into temper tantrums. So, I decided that a more efficient system of rating would be needed if I wanted to last till my next birthday without completely losing it. After all, the thought of splitting a cake with a cross between Michael Jackson and Sisqo in a mental ward was not exactly appealing. So, I needed a system that was succinct. A system that was scientific. A system that used neat, random numbers. A system that threw in words like “parley,” just for effect. A system that inflated my ego through the mentioning of my name, yet was simultaneously simple enough to rip-off and market to those gullible enough to mistake it for an Almost Dragonic product. Enter A.R.S.E. The one and only system capable of matching the absurdity of Aardvark’s stories. The following is an exercise in lunacy, which will occur over the course of several installments. Please keep your hands, arms, legs, tongues, tentacles, and insurance salesmen inside the vehicle at all times. In chronological order: "Maligned Perception" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in third person: 10 points Protagonist dies unexpectedly just before the end: 10 points Protagonist shares his name with a byronic hero thought to have slept with his own sister: 0 points Fate of the Queen’s crumpets not mentioned: -5 points Sympathizes with the struggle of megalomaniacs: 20 points Classy uses of antique revolvers, EvilLaughs, and splattered brain wallpaper: 10 points Story includes witty one-liners before key character dies horribly: 30 points Hopeful, upbeat ending for evil geniuses seeking doomsday devices everywhere: 10 points. Overall: (15 + 10 + 10 + 0 – 5 + 20 + 10 +30 + 10) divided by the number of times Aardvark has mocked Wyvern for his lack of funds = the rating. "The Fun is All Gone" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in third person: 10 points Potagonist lives to see an endless looping cycle resulting from his continual commencement of the story at the end of the piece: -10 points The notion that he will eventually hunger for Krispy Kream, thus urging the reader to invest in the product: 20 points My use of the word “commencement” three lines above: irrelevant Car chase scene: 10 points Car chase scene involving paddy wagons, men in uniform, and beefy looking V8s: -30 points Theme of writers block is dealt with, and overcome: 10 points Little subconscious elf voices in the writers head turning the “block” into a rubix cube: 5 brownie points. Overall: (15 + 10 – 10 + 20 + 10 – 30 + 10 + 5) multiplied by the square root of Aardvark’s money investment with Almost Dragonic = the rating. "Accurate Explanations" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in first person dialogue through smashed people at a rave party discussing the significance of the letter E: 30 points Repetition of the phrase “Umm…”: 5 points Lawsuites filed by Madame Quixotic and other fortune tellers because of the stealing of their phrase “Umm…”: -10 points Uses alliteration: 5 points Uses exotic terms such as “necrogoons,” “necronerd,” “Zombi,” and “git”: 10 points Fatalities continuously mentioned throughout: 20 points Protagonist dismisses antagonist as a freak, yet is deluded enough to think that God will chit-chat with him over a cup of tea at the end: 10 points Overall: (15 + 30 + 5 – 10 + 5 +10 + 20 +10) minus the number of times Aardvark has beaten Wyvern over the head with a blunt object = the rating "Partly Fact" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in first person: 10 points Set at a Mcdonalds drive through: - 80 points (they gave me soggy fries last time) Thought of narrator posing as the Hamburgler: priceless “3 Bells” advertisement: 100 points Use of random, inappropriate grammar for street cred in order to aid in advertising “3 Bells” to the hip hop generation: 10 points An antagonist drives a riced-up Civic, which is reduced to a pile of smoldering rubble at the end: 15 points Story can’t decide if it’s action/drama, science fiction/fantasy, personal advice/social rant, or Final Fantasy VIII documentary/latest script for Beverley Hills 90210: -20 points Narrator severely damages the readers feelings: 5 extra special points Overall: (15 + 10 – 80 + 100 + 10 + 15 – 20 + 5) – X/2 where X is equal to the number of variables it takes to get Aardvark confused = the rating. "Fearless" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in third person: 10 points Metaphor for urban setting as a jungle used: 20 points No comparisons of police to hippopotamuses: -10 points Flaring nostrils that remind me of almost dragonic relatives: -5 points Street hoodlums with extensive knowledge of how to treat a lady like a “real man”: 0 points Corrupt knowledge blamed on women’s lib: 20 points Latex gloves used: 5 bonus points Overall: (15 + 10 + 20 – 10 – 5 + 0 + 20 + 5) plus the number of times Aardvark has sabotaged Melba’s desk seat = the rating. "Ultimate Power" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in an obsessive first person: 10 points Antagonist is a puke-inducingly cute small child: -20 points Uses omnimatopotence: 10 points Use of a French word is corrected by the use of the word freedom (“Queuing for freedom”): 5 points Leaves reader with a blazing hot, sickly feeling: 10 points Soccer mom is left permanently scarred: 20 points Different meanings attributed to the word “hotspot”: 5 points Overall: (15 + 10 – 20 + 10 + 5 + 10 + 20 + 5) times the number of hours that Aardvark has spent handing out Almost Dragonic product flyers = the rating. "Patience" Brutal and direct: 15 points Narrator that sounds like an announcer from an educational history video: 0 points The dollar is considered holy: 50 points Use of a French subtitle with no corrections: -5 points Money is abused: 20 points Zombis not included amongst the rankings of the undead: -5 points Species of booby-trapped spider coin is not mentioned, much to the dismay of collectors: - 10 points Lethal sneezes used without a single “Gesundheit”: 5 points Chronoassassin drives the latest in dematerializing vehicle technology: 10 points Overall: (15 + 0 + 50 –5 + 20 – 5 –10 + 5 + 10) to the power of the number of Almost Dragonic savings bonds Aardvark holds = the rating. "Controlled environment" Brutal and direct: 15 points Told in third person: 10 points Protagonist character is see-through: -5 points A scientific notation for the cause of riots is mentioned: 20 points The fat men are the ones that get it in the end: 10 points Notion that the fat men may have become fat from eating Krispy Kream: 5 points High-action jet flight scene: 10 points Encourages the uses of humans as guinea pigs: 10 points Marketability of spin-off, photocopied overlord brain dolls: high Overall: (15 + 10 – 5 + 20 + 10 + 5 + 10 + 10) added to the price of spin-off, photocopied overlord brain dolls should they be marketed under Almost Dragonic inc. = the rating.

While Racouol and the other Pen members share mugs of hot coacoa and exchange Christmas greetings in the Cabaret Room, Wyvern hangs loosely from the tangled mess of Christmas decorations adorning the area surrounding the Pen's rooftop. The overgrown lizard valiently attempts to shift in his position but fails to do so, completely tangled from head to toe in a display of colorful pen-shaped neon lights. Directly below the reptilian Elder, the "M" of the brightly lit "Mighty Pen" sign adorning the front wall has been knocked out of position, and hangs upside down in the shape of a "W." Wyvern sighs and gives up in his struggles just as Morgane passes by the area on her way back from a short walk through the snow, licking a gigantic red lollipop and raising her eyes towards the lizard curiously. Stopping a short distance from where Wyvern hangs and staring up at the tangled lizard, the little girl briefly adjusts her wool cap before exclaiming: "Hey Wyvie, watcha doing there?" Wyvern mumbles something under his breath, then responds: "I slipped while cleaning the snow from the Pen's roof in the hopes of clearing up a few debts, and landed in the Christmas lights. I'm sorta stuck now..." "Neato!" exclaims Morgane. "Can I get stuck in the Christmas lights too?" "I wouldn't recommend it..." hisses Wyvern back "It gets a bit tiresome after a couple of hours." "Awwwww" mutters Morgane in a disappointed manner. "Should I go n' fetch Gyrfalcon to get you out of this mess like that time when the IRS had you cornered and your only hope of escape was a bit o' magic?" Wyvern considers the option for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head. "Naw, don't tell the others about it yet, I'm hoping to untangle this mess eventually myself. Besides, I don't want to spoil anyone's holiday, and it'd only add to my "little" debt problem..." Morgane frowns and licks her lollipop in silence for a short moment before hearing a call come from inside of the guild halls. "Ooooo.... I'm gonna go get some Christmas brand Tzimmy Pen chocolate figurines! Anything else ya want before I go Wyvie?" Wyvern thinks for a moment. "Sure, wish everyone a happy holiday for me and plug Almost Dragonic brand stocking stuffers. Almost Dragonic brand stocking stuffers... they're only the size of pebbles, but buy enough of them and you can stuff a stocking!" Morgane quickly nods to this and happily rushes towards the scent of chocolate while Wyvern silently prays for the miracle of leftovers. As the overgrown lizard continues to struggle in the lights, his middle finger accidentally gets stuck in an upward position just as a political rights activist passes by. Noticing Wyvern flipping him the bird and the sign "Wighty Pen," the rights activist immediatly files a lawsuite against the Elder of Initiates and departs from the scene in a rage. ;-) OOC: Merry Christmas, everyone.

Very good story so far Falcon and Yui, I'm really liking it. The opening scene that encompassed the first two posts was a bit hit or miss to me, but after that I thought that it really picked up and got much better. Some comments on what's been posted so far: Falcon: My favorite Cioden scene thus far is the scene in which Yui awakens in Cioden's chamber and suggests that she may have information that Cioden is after. I really like how we're briefly shown a different side of Cioden's character in his viewing of the picture of Valden Darkeye, as well as how this other side is quickly covered up by his typical reactions to Yui's inquiry and teasings. I think you do a very good job of personifying Cioden's cold and emotionless character throughout, as well as showing the torment that comes about from his lack of knowledge about the creature he faced. Two things I felt could potentially be improved: when Yui mentions what she wants in return for her information in your third to last post, you describe her as wanting to learn how to shadow walk better. Now, I could be mistaken here, but as I understood it what Yui really wants is to understand Cioden's actions and character better. Is Yui's response in that segment meant as a cover-up for her secret desire to learn more about Cioden, or are the "wants" getting confused here? And if it is a cover-up, how does she hope to learn more about him through learning how to shadow walk better? The other thing I didn't quite get was the flashback of the burning town, but on further consideration I'm sure that will become clearer as the story goes on. Yui: My favorite Yui scene so far is when Yui braves speaking to the creature in the shadow plane for information, and finds that she's not quite as invulnerable as she had expected. Your writing is excellent here, and I especially liked the mounting tension and the gradual realization that she had lost strength. Also, the allusion to the tales of Merelas when the creature casted it's flame spell was brilliant! One thing you might potentially improve: while Yui's want to learn more about Cioden's character is clear, her need doesn't seem quite as strong. What is it exactly about Cioden's character that makes Yui so intrigued to learn more about it? You mentioned that the interest was partially sparked due to his rude reactions to her saving him, so perhaps it's a matter of pride? Anyway, like I said, I'm enjoying this story a lot so far. I'll be sure to check for more updates in the future, and will probably have more comments for y'all when the story's over. Good stuff!

Qwein led Ariella back down to the first floor and behind a large bookshelf where a locked door with a blade emblem etched into it was located. He then searched through his pockets and pulled out a set of keys, unlocking the door with a long and intricately crafted key located on the end of his keychain and escorting Ariella into a narrow, carpeted hallway. Quietly shutting the door behind him and leading Ariella down the hall, Qwein turned to her and muttered: "The next room of importance I'll be showing you is the tactics hall, where Jud developes magical items for assassin use. Are you at all hungry, by the way? We could stop and-" "I'm not hungry." interrupted Ariella quickly. She then raised a brow and turned to Qwein curiously. "Wait a minute... did you say magical items?" Qwein grinned and nodded. "I know what you're probably thinking, Ariella. Since magic is always thought of as being an Ashettu technique, it's often considered blasphemous in the context of Sherashi society. But then, the Serrated Scale needs a way to compete with Ashettu techniques, and the only thing that rivals magic is magic itself. You'll like Jud, he's a nice guy." "I've met him." said Ariella, looking a bit skeptical. "It's a bit hard to believe that someone with such a friendly attitude could wield magic." "You'll just have to see it for yourself." said Qwein as they arrived at two purple curtains leading into a room on the far left end of the hall. Stopping in front of the curtains, Qwein patiently waited until a voice called from within: "Who's there?" "Q-q-qw-q-qw-Qwein" answered Qwein with some difficulty. "And I've brought our new recruit, Ariella, along with me." "Ah, please come in!" Qwein nodded to Ariella and pushed open the curtains, leading her into a room that looked as if it might have been ran over by a herd of elephants at some point in its existance. Half-empty beakers, bubbling pots and pans, pages torn from books, and small cages containing a variety of animals littered the floor, walls, tables and ceiling. Ariella choked as a smell similar to a mixture of burning sulfur and skunk scent hit her nostrils, and felt queasy as a strange aura seemed to engulf her. Magic seemed to resonate throughout the room. Jud, in the same purple robes and spectacles he had been wearing when Ariella had first met him, turned from a handsome man and a short woman that he had been chatting with and waved towards Qwein and Ariella. "You've arrived just in time!" the plump mage exclaimed. "I was just about to demonstrate the latest product of my labors to Terrance and Mina here." Ariella carefully stepped over the cluttered mess that made up the ground of the room and made her way to the group with Qwein, stopping as she arrived beside Terrance. Her heart fluttered slightly as she exchanged a quick glance with him, and she almost jumped when he extended a hand to her. "Don't believe we've met. I'm Terrance, an assassin of the second division." Ariella quickly shook his hand, nervously hesitating before responding: "Ariella... fourth division." Terrance smiled and pointed a finger towards the short woman beside him. "This is Mina, an assassin of the third division. She's mute and deaf, so you'll have to forgive her if she doesn't give you a warm welcome herself." Ariella cracked a small smile and nodded towards Mina, who silently made a short bow back. Then, a sudden screech from an animal resting in a cage on the left wall of the room startled Ariella, causing her to turn towards the source of the sound. She raised a brow as she noticed an exotically colored parrot resting in a cage on the wall. *Waaarrrrrrk* toned the animal. "Why the heck is Mina an assassin?" *Waaarrrrrk* Ariella's jaw dropped open as she stared at the animal, dumbfounded. "That's Quarkus." explained Jud, giggling to himself and patting Ariella on the shoulder to awaken her from her trance. "My pet psychic parrot. He usually stays quiet, but occasionally he'll repeat peoples thoughts if he takes a liking to them. To answer the question you were too polite to ask: Mina is an assassin due to her excellent eyesight." Ariella cast an angry glance towards the parrot and shook her head a few times, suddenly glad that Mina was deaf. Terrance let out a little laugh, which calmed Ariella's nerves a bit. "Now then..." muttered Jud happily while grabbing a small vial of clear liquid from a nearby table. "I'd like to demonstrate the merits of my latest product, which I call 'Iris Shift.' Observe." With that, Jud picked up a cage containing a monkey from off the ground and waved his hand a bit around the monkey's eyes, causing the animal to stand up straight and freeze in a staring position. Jud then carefully placed one drop of the clear liquid he held into each of the monkey's eyes, and snapped a finger causing it to blink. When the monkey opened it's eyes again, they had changed from green to blue. "That's brilliant!" exclaimed Terrance, his face lighting up. Mina and Qwein also applauded the spectacle, while Ariella could not help but to stare in confusion. *Waaaaarrrrrrk* screeched Quarkus "What's the use of that?" *Waaarrrrrk* Ariella deeply blushed and suppressed her urge to rush over and strangle the parrot as a gale of laughter broke from the crowd once again. Terrance then grinned, and responded: "This item should prove to be immensely useful to assassins, Ariella, as it can help with disguises and identity shifts." Jud nodded to this, then added: "The Ashettu clan also favours those with blue eyes as their diplomats, as they consider them a marker of intelligence. Expect 'Iris shift' to play a large role in infiltration operations in the near future." "Thanks for the demonstation, Jud." said Qwein, a hint of anxiety present in his voice. "I wish we could stay but I should get going with Ariella, since she still needs to be shown the training dojo. Terrance, I'll see you and Mina later." With that, Qwein nodded and led Ariella out of Jud's tactics hall. The newly recruited assassin exchanged a final glance with Terrance before devoting her attention once again to her guide.

Lone Shadow sighs and shifts in her seat, wondering what could possibly be taking the Elder of Initiates such a long time to arrive. She had heard news of Wyvern's antics in other chambers of the guild, and thus was wondering why he hadn't reached the spot that he was designated to thoroughly supervise yet. Grumbling to herself and twisting in her seat out of boredom, the applicant jumps as the door to the Office suddenly slams open and Wyvern barges in. Tangled in an unbelievable mess of Christmas tree lights and wreaths, the overgrown lizard stumbles towards Lone Shadow and quickly bows to her before apologetically muttering: "Sorry for my lateness... Had a few problems with Almost Dragonic holiday decoration sales." As soon as Wyvern mentions the words "Almost Dragonic," the wreaths covering his tunic rot away and the Christmas lights tangled on him explode one by one, causing a huge electrical shock. Lone Shadow cringes as the exhausted lizard grabs her application with a trembling claw, sending out a few sparks as he does so. Reading over the application poem and noticing the subtitle of the piece, the reptilian Elder scratches his scaly chin in contemplation for a few moments before snapping a finger and hissing: "Wait here for a moment, Lone Shadow. I need to get something in order to fufill your subtitle request!" With that, the overgrown lizard rushes out of the room and dashes down the hall, leaving Lone Shadow by herself in the office once again. Sighing to herself and rolling her eyes, the applicant begins to wonder if placing the subtitle by the poem was a good idea considering that it caused the Elder of Initiates to leave again. Fortunatly, it only takes a few minutes before Wyvern reappears at the Office door, wearing a costume that he hadn't worn since a famous Masquerade party that had occured a few years back. Adjusting the name tag that reads "Brute/Wyvern" on the dark cloak that he now wears and waving a pale-dust-covered claw towards Lone Shadow, the lizard/drunkard pulls out the Decanter of Endless booze and exclaims: "So then... what kind of booze would you like for Christmas, my good applicant?" Lone Shadow stares at Wyvern/Brute in a confused manner. "I-" "Bruteweiser!" interrupts the Elder before she can finish. "Excellent choice!" With that, the overgrown lizard attempts to pour Bruteweiser booze into a Christmas stocking, only to watch the stocking disintegrate in the process. Grumbling to himself and suddenly remembering about the application sheet, the uncharacteristically forgetful Elder quickly stamps it ACCEPTED. ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application poem, Lone Shadow, welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to reading more of your works and participating with you in community projects. Unfortunatly, I think you may find that the Pen is not the best place to recieve brutal criticism for your works, but hopefully you'll settle for constructive criticism and comments...

Yesterday, I saw the horror movie "The Eye" in Cantonese with English subtitles, as I had heard several good reviews about it from numerous people. Unfortunately, I personally thought that the film was horrible. It played out like a poor man's version of "The Sixth Sense" to me, complete with extremely bad acting and plot. My complaints include some of the most pointless and poorly acted out romantic developments between characters I've seen in a while, and the genuinely comic plot development of ghosts being "caught in continual timewarps" (and yes, they really did use that). The film's only redeeming quality was an interesting twist near the very end, but that definitely was not enough to save it. Ironically, I think that the U.S is going to make an adaptation of this like they did with "The Ring," which I'll be sure to skip. Speaking of "The Ring," what are peoples thoughts on this film? I was thinking of renting it instead of "The Eye," but my sister told me it was a terrible movie...

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Screams missing the letters "r," "g" and "h" ring throughout the halls as Scary Winger plugs his ears with two lower case "a"s, cracking a cheesy grin towards the cameras and giving a thumbs up to the man in charge of special effects. Noticing the lizard's glance, the Oompalumpen in charge of effects frantically shakes his head and screams, looking generally confused as he becomes buried in an avalanche of "A"s. Turning towards Adrynna Shathward and asking her for a response, the overgrown lizard notices that she's too horrified by the concept of an alphabet soup missing twenty five letters to say anything. Nodding to this, Scary Winger turns to Andrew: "So Andrew... now that you're covered with "A"s, how does it feel to share so many letters with Aardvark and Adrynna?" The mobster advertiser shakes his head a few times, recovering from the shock of the A-bomb, before suddenly raising his head and responding: "Waitaminute... dids you say Aardvark?" Andrew angrily raises himself from his seat, picking up a rabid goose munching on an "A" from off the ground. "Aardvark huh? I sees how it is!" Turning to Aardvark, the advertisement agent positions the goose so that it's rear end is facing Aardvark's direction and growls: "You tryin' to tell me somethin' by having two more 'A's in ya name then I do, punk?! Well lemme tell ya something... nobody out-As big Andrew Vertisimo, nobody. And I'll tell ya something else, ya sorry excuse for an animal. Dis goose I'm holding has been munching on da alphabet soup, and is fully loaded!" With that, the advertisement agent grins evilly and squeezes the gooses stomach, causing it to squack and foam at the mouth. Scary winger quickly jumps under a table to avoid it's potential path of destruction...

Wyvern rushes in grinning happily for Fin' and bringing a gift. Dodging cameras and shaking the blue man's hand, Wyv hands him a box. "Plenty of cool beer" the lizard hisses quickly glancing left and right. "You look anxious Wyv" mutters the Haiku Saint back "It's legal you know?" "Yeah, you've come of age" answers the greedy Elder "But I need permits!" With that, Wyvern ducks running from police bloodhounds sniffing out trouble. ;-) OOC: Have a great one, Finnius.

After being given the nod of approval from Histmark, Ariella was forced to endure countless days of intense interviews and paperwork. Everything from her name and age to her deepest hidden desires were exposed in full to the registrars of the guild. Her past and what they knew of it became of little importance to her, and she devoted every bit of her attention to what was to become of her future. After the tedious application process had ended, Histmark assigned a thin and rather sickly looking man wearing a slightly tattered grey coat to act as Ariella's guide. "Qwein" said Histmark, pointing a finger towards Ariella. "Take Ms. Terranzus here and show her around the guild a bit before dropping her off at her room. She should become acquainted with the functionings of the assassin community before she commences her training." With that, Histmark gave a nod and walked off to attend other matters of business, tossing Ariella a set of keys as he passed her on his way down the hall. After following his every step with her eyes until he disappeared around a corner, Ariella turned her gaze towards the darkly-ringed eyes of the man that now stood beside her. "Q-q-qw-qwe-Qwein" the man introduced himself after much difficulty, extending a frail palm that Ariella hesitantly shook. "Assassin of the fifth division of the Serrated Scale, sometimes known as 'the Beggar.' And you're Arellia, I take it?" "Ariella." Ariella corrected. "Ariella! Of course, of course..." Qwein said, half-grinning in a somewhat disturbing manner. His smile struck Ariella as too frail and sickly to emit any kind of warmth. "Come with me, please, I'll show you around." Ariella nodded to this and began walking with Qwein down the hallway. "So, I'm curious as to what brings you to our humble community Ariella?" Ariella rolled her eyes at the question and grumbled. Even after seven days of paperwork, the questioning never ceased. "Personal business." she said as coolly as possible, evoking a short gale of laughter from Qwein. "Personal business... there's a common excuse around these parts!" exclaimed Qwein as the two of them arrived at a large double door. "Ah, here's the first room you should become familiar with in these quarters: the center of communications." Having said this, Qwein pushed open the two doors only to reveal an enormous dusty-smelling library. Countless shelves of ancient tomes lined each and every wall, with three majestic floors of books ascending to a glass dome that made up the ceiling. A few scholars wandered back and forth between the books, but the lack of many readers suggested that the library was private. Ariella's eyes widened in a mixture of awe and confusion. "This is the center of communications?" she whispered to Qwein as quietly as possible. "It's so quiet... how do assassins discuss things here?" Qwein grinned and whispered back: "I think you'll find, Ariella, that the work of assassins is not a very speech-based affair. Follow me." Qwein directed Ariella up a flight of twisting steps towards a shelf where authors were listed by "T." Scanning through the shelf with one finger while muttering the last names present under his breath, his finger eventually stopped as it came to the name "Taranteppur." Pulling the book from the shelf and handing it to Ariella, he whispered: "Taranteppur, this should be your author. You can remember the name as the first five letters should match those of your last name." Ariella stared at the book curiously, brushing a hand over it's ancient englossing and muttering the title to herself. "'Every Last Dawns Awakening?'" Ariella smirked and glanced at Qwein. "Looks like a boring romance." Qwein grinned. "It is." Ariella raised a brow. "Then what...?" "Observe" interrupted Qwein in a whisper, moving closer to Ariella and drawing a small dagger from his grey cloak. "I'll only be able to show you this once, so pay close attention." After looking in both directions to make certain that noone was observing them, Qwein opened the book to it's center page and swiftly slit his dagger down the length of the books binding. Ariella's eyes widened as noticed a letter carefully hidden in the interior of the binding, rolled up like a scroll and tucked there neatly. Qwein carefully handed the letter to Ariella, who gently opened it and quietly read it to herself: Ariella Taranzus, fourth division~ Welcome to the Serrated Scale. Shidon- "Shidon?" whispered Ariella to Qwein while stuffing the letter into a pocket of her tunic. The Beggar simply smirked and whispered back: "The head of the Serrated Scale, though you may as well forget his name since it changes every week. Noone here at the Scale has ever seen or spoken to him, so he's more of a legend than anything else." Qwein glanced towards a grandfather clock slowly ticking in the far lefthand corner of the second floor. "No time to explain further, there are other things you need to see... Remember to search here on a daily basis for communications and assignments given to you through letters found in the binding of that book. Now please, follow me." Without a moment of hesitation, Ariella placed the book back in it's rightful position and obediently trailed after Qwein as quickly as possible.

Also, let's not forget Arnold Schwarzenegger's definition of the word: "Some'ting that pomps you up." Having said this, Wyvern pompously displays a number of Almost Dragonic products on a tray table before they start malfunctioning one at a time...

Orlan, So, I recently read through "Siege of Agregra" from the beginning to the end... Here are some of my thoughts on it, as promised: Overall, the story definitely gets two thumbs up from me. It once again held my interest the whole way through, and I think it may even be better than "Final Death" in the long run. Having said this, however, I also feel that the story is somewhat less balanced than "Final Death." I think that at it's best, "Siege of Agregra" excells far beyond "Final Death" in terms of quality, but at it's worst it's less interesting and lacks the excitement of the previous story. Fortunatly, I also think that the good outweighs the bad by a large margine. Some things to compliment: 1) Characterization. The characters in this piece were all brilliantly depicted, and I felt that a much broader spectrum of characters was touched upon than in "Final Death." The huge number of distinct, individual personalities present in the piece really made it an excellent and intriguing read. No two characters were really alike, which is amazing considering how many of them there were. Coania, Vasia, Ludia and Ma'aten were a few standouts, but my favorite character in the end would have to be Kisean. With his noble attitude, inherited weaponry legacy, and genuine concern for others around him, I was rooting for him the whole way through. Near the end, when he was about to sacrifice himself to save Coania, I was completely on the edge of my seat! 2) Detail. You seem to have a knack for using very original and interesting details to keep the reader immersed in the story. Things like excellent descriptions, comic nicknames ("Lady Leather!"), and little eccentricities (the example of Ludia's always having trouble taking off one belt strap on her back when getting undressed comes to mind) really drew me into the story and kept me thoroughly entertained throughout. 3) The plot and conflict. I felt you really went a step above "Final Death" in layering the conflict of the story in a complex manner. I loved how there were heroes on each side of the battlefield, and how the true enemy rested in the demons waging war. Since I didn't want characters from either side to kill each other, it made for a very tense and exciting read. Also, the way that the conflict is structured seems to make the piece more intelligent to me, as it almost seems to speak out against war by making both war wagers the true villains. Another thing that I like about the plot, which I also really liked in "Final Death," is that it's all resolved so nicely in the end, with no tragedy and just a genuinely happy ending. It leaves me feeling very happy and upbeat after I've finished. 4) Dialogue. Your uses of dialogue between characters are really excellent for the most part. I loved it when, after a night of contemplation, Ludia exited her tent and Donaxon asked "I take it you believe me?" only to get the response "No... I believe in myself." Also, I thought it was awesome how Donaxon constantly twisted the wording of Avoil's orders to his advantage, and the part in which he defended Vasia and Kisean under the excuse that it was a "conflicting order" was one of my favorite scenes. In fact, that would probably be my #1 "bad-ass Donaxon" scene of the story, since he pretty much epitomized coolness in that moment. 5) There were a number of memorable scenes in this, but a few that stood out to me were the afformentioned "conflicting order" scene, the scene in which Zrethet attempts to free himself from his bonds by corroding Ludia's self-confidence (my favorite battle scene of the piece, extremely tense and exciting), the scene in which Jiklan denied Coania the privelege of going with Donaxon's party (I gritted my teeth when that happened, and was very pleasantly surprised to see Jiklan actually helping them at the end), and the numerous introspective scenes and moments sprinkled throughout. But then, as you know, I've always favored internal emotional conflict over external physical conflict. So then, it's obviously a great story overall... Now, some things you could potentially improve: 1) The June 12th entry of the story, where the demonspawn are first introduced. This segment is probably my biggest complaint in the story. Unlike the other installments, I felt that in this one things were happening a bit too fast, to the extent that the pacing actually detracted from the excitement rather than added to it. The first appearence of a non-human creature in the story shocked me, and I wanted to know more about it. One way to improve this might be to add some introductory scene where demonspawn are summoned, though that might ruin the gradual surprise. You could also add in more thoughts and internal reactions from the characters towards the spawn, since as it stands the paladins just sorta shrugged them off and killed them. Also, while I like how you introduced Ludia's power in this segment, I thought that it was somewhat overused here. It seemed like Ludia was sitting down and having tea with Faowind every other line, and you might want to tone down her prayers just a bit to give them more of a sense of heightened importance. The manner in which the greater demon attacking the walls of Agregra died in this segment also confused me a bit, and seemed a bit over-the-top even in the context of gargantuan demons and fists that shatter city walls. Ciran's firing a magical arrow at the monster was excellent, no doubt... it was the magic bubble of water that surrounded the demon and caused it to implode that seemed a bit excessive to me. Anyway, my principal suggestion to improve this segment would be to draw it out a bit more and give the reader more moments to breath and simply intake everything that's happening, since a heck of a lot's going on (no pun intended). 2) Battles. Don't get me wrong, battles are a very good thing. I know that you have a particular fondness for battles, and this shows through your excellent, detailed physical descriptions of what's going on in each. However, there were times when I was left wanting something more from them, something internal. What is Kisean thinking when Donaxon pushes back his halberd with his chi in their first fight? How does Vasia feel when she blocks the three strikes of one of the puppets and realizes they're more skilled than expected? I feel that if more emotions were added to a number of the battles, they'd become much more exciting. The final struggle with Zrethet is a great example of this, since we have both an external and an internal conflict going on with Ludia that makes it really exciting. 3) Misheal. You might want to introduce her as a character earlier, as she seems to suddenly appear at Donaxon's side and we're not really given much of an introduction to her. I might suggest introducing her briefly in an earlier scene, and expanding on her character a bit. 4) A few other things of minor concern, though not insignificant: - While you do a really, really excellent job with showing rather than telling for a large majority of the story, there were a few moments of unneeded telling that you might want to do away with (example: the repitition of "this was not good," after it's already implied by the thoughts of the characters) - As I mentioned before, you have a very keen eye for original and significant details that keep the story interesting, but there were one or two spots where the details were original but not significant to the story, which you might want to either get rid of or make significant. (example: Orto the advisor having a "sweet tooth," which is never actually shown in the story) - I'm just as guilty as you of this, but try to avoid overrused expressions and sentimentality. (example: "'Well well well,' Kisean said as he walked down to stand next to Donaxon and Coania. 'It seems like people are having a party without me.'" See also: any page of "Gaze of Eternity" ;p) Anyway, I'm once again astounded by your excellent story weaving ability, Orlan. You mentioned earlier that you were considering expanding upon this piece for publication, and I'd definitely encourage it. Another awesome story from the original bard of Terra himself. Hope these comments help, Wyv-

Wyvern is in the midst of making an illegal exchange with an advertisement agent when suddenly, a spotlight falls on him and twenty Oompalumpen's swiftly gather around the area. Rydia focuses the T.V camera on the nearest shiny objects, those being the geld and the silver T.V remote controles in the midst of being exchanged, while the darkly cloaked figure next to Wyvern growls: "Lizahd, dis wasn't part o' da deal. You tolds me no cameras, no footage, and no Willy Wonka inspired midgets!" Wyvern stutters and lets out a nervous laugh, quickly dropping the remotes and stuffing as much geld as he can back into his pockets. Turning from the mobster advertiser just as he starts to pull a billy club from his cloak, the lizard races to the nearest outhouse and quickly jumps inside. Placing a clothing pin on his nose and taking a deep breath, he rapidly shuts the door behind him and begins changing outfits. After a minute or two, the door to the outhouse opens again and the lizard walks back out transformed, disguised in the best Jerry Springer costume he can muster. Wyvern adjusts the fake evil moustach next to his nose and picks up a microphone, shaking it a few times to test it and causing a horrendous shriek of static in the process. Clearing his throat of a few ashes and wiping the dirt off of his fine grey suite, the overgrown lizard then snaps a finger and three Oompalumpens immediatly come to his aid. Pointing towards Aardvark, ntraveler2, and the mobster advertisement agent, Wyvern signals to the Oompalumpens in a manner that suggests that those three should be immediatly seated. Tapping his microphone a few more times with one claw while signaling to the people in charge of lighting with the other, the reptilian host takes a deep breath and hisses: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the latest episode of 'Scary Winger!'" Upon exclaiming this, an Oompalumpen seated at a keyboard begins hitting keys randomly, causing a cacophony of synthesizer noises and applause effects. "This evening, we have three very special guests with us: Aardvark, Adrynna Shathward, and Andrew the Advertisement Agent!" Aardvark raises a brow, Adrynna glances around the room confused, and Andrew angrily growls: "Lizahd, you tolds me no names!" "Now then..." continues Wyvern the Scary Winger, ignoring the complaints of the mobster advertiser. "My first question to you guys is... how does it feel to share the first letter of the alphabet with one another?!" As Wyvern asks this, an Oompalumpen steps up to each guest, offering them a choice of chainsaw, bazooka, or flock of rabid geese.

Definitely a clever vignette, Gwaihir. I really like how the majestic and powerful tone of the first version is completely turned on it's head when we find out what's physically going on in the second version, and particularly liked the contrast in the "cold chill." One thing you could potentially improve: when the Ice Queen thinks to herself "What petty mortals these people were," the "were" might be replaced with an "are," since the Queen would probably be thinking in present tense as she passed her victims. Nicely done.