Wyvern

A very dark and disturbing piece of writing, RandomTarget#22. The vivid and original imagery that you used to describe the dream and the narrator's death was evocative, and rendered the scenes very horrific and unsettling. The death of the narrator at the end of the piece was particularly disturbing, and even caused me to cringe while I was reading it. In terms of improvements, I think that this piece could be made even more powerful if it were expanded into a longer story, as it currently seems to be rushed in certain places. More backstory for the narrator could particularly be useful, as though the details and events described throughout are genuinely disturbing, there's currently no sense of sympathy for the narrator, since he's a stranger when the story begins and a stranger when it ends. Perhaps you could go into more detail about the narrator's current condition in the mental ward, and the events that led up to him being confined there. Another thing you could do to expand the backstory is to clarify the symbolism of the dream... what is the significance behind his seeing the infants turn to bones? What provokes him to suddenly kidnap the woman from the crowd and treat her as a subject? An expansion of the backstory might make the piece less cryptic, but it would also make it more accessible. Deeply disturbing, thanks for sharing this.

Wyvern quietly sneaks into the Recruiter's Office through one of the back windows and slowly advances towards his desk, hopping into his seat and bowing to all who are present in the Office. Picking up the "Fragile! This Side Up! Express Mail!" box containing blain's application, the overgrown lizard turns the package upsidedown and shakes it a few times, then whips a crowbar out from underneath his desk and clobbers the package until it eventually tears open and is reduced to shreds. Belching a few flames and plucking blain's application from the remnants of the box, the reptilian Elder carefully reads it over, then rudely exclaims: "I'll accept this piece... as soon as it gains a bit of Almost Dragonic flair! Luckily, you have me around to egoistically edit it to acceptable perfection." "W-w-what?" starts blain. "B-but I-" Before blain can continue, Wyvern whips out an Almost Dragonic Brand Editting Pen and sets about adjusting the piece in a nearly illegible scrawl. Blain's eyes widen as he reads over the editted draft, until eventually he manages to choke: "Mr. Wyvern... this was not quite what I had in mind when I mentioned that I wanted 'feedback that is direct in style.'" Upon noticing the editted Almost Dragonic draft, Peredhil immediatly wipes off the editting ink with a tissue, breathing a sigh of relief at the faulty nature of the Almost Dragonic Brand Editting Pen. At the same time, Melba points an Anti-wyvern mallet at the sinister Elder of Initiates, causing him to immediatly stamp blain's application piece ACCEPTED. ;-) OOC: On a more serious note, a well written application piece blain. Certainly acceptable, welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to not only providing (slightly more serious) feedback for you, but also to participating with you in various group projects. Once again, welcome!

"Fire elf!" Merelas turns his head from his calm moment of lounging as loud music begins blasting in his area. "Fire elf, Fire elf Watcha gonna do, Watcha gonna do when your flames turn blue?! Fire elf!" Merelas' jaw drops open as several trolls wearing stealth camoflauge uniforms jump into the room by means of the hole in the Conservatory roof, directing their unstable bungi cords towards Minta's slaad and using the creatures back as a slide. The half-fire elf stutters as the trolls immediatly begin surrounding his area in a loosely knit circle, whipping out several large spiked bats and waving them in the air as the music plays. Merelas cringes when he notices that the human-sized stealth uniforms of the trolls are two sizes too small for their bodies, and raises a brow as the music dies down and a human walks to the front of the circle. "We're clear." mutters Jim into a walkie-talkie, adjusting the contact device on his ear and shooting a cold glance towards Merelas. As he does so, a prince with a major in cinematography elegantly aims his video camera at the scene, gesturing to several princesses in the hopes of getting Merelas' make-up done before the final showdown of the event. "So." grumbles Jim, taking two steps towards Merelas and nodding to several trolls as they take out their bats. "Thought you could get into the party without an entry fee, did you? Thought you could just hide your blazing boxer shorts at home, did you? Yeah, I know your type..." "Now wait a minute-" starts Merelas. "You have the right to remain silent, to remain immobile, and to cease breathing." counters Jim as several trolls begin to approach and princesses start combing Merelas' hair while adding make-up. "Anything you say, do, think of saying, think of doing, or would secretly like to do somewhere in the suppressed corners of your mind, will be held against you at buffet table #12. And yes, that is the buffet table containing the mutant pirahna gumbo platter." "B-b-but, I-" "Give him ten seconds to hand over the undergarments." says Jim to the trolls as he begins walking away. "Then smash!" Elsewhere, inbetween buffet table #8 and the dancefloor of the party... Wyvern stands beside a group of chic princes, entranced by their conversation. "Why yes, Frederick... I do run a multi-million dollar company on the side, but simply for pleasure." "Oh, how invigorating that sounds Charles! Mind you, I'd simply love to run a few corporations here and there, but these days I seem to spend all of my free time counting my money. It's so very easy to lose track, isn't it Adam?" "Indeed it is Charles. You should have seen the last time my butlers brought out my money bags, Frederick. It required four fork lifts, and a..." Adam's voice trails off as the three nobles notice Wyvern observing them. "Say..." Frederick whispers to Charles. "Is it just my imagination, or is that cad of a fashion statement focussing his attention on us?" "Indeed he is... and drooling at that! Why it simply can't be healthy." Wyvern ignores the remarks of the three nobles as dreams of fortune begin to completely occupy his thoughts. The lizards reverie is broken, however, as another noble politely taps him on the shoulder. Turning around, Wyvern is promptly smacked in the face by an iron glove. "That was for my sisters nephew, who you disregarded in your commonwealth uprising scheme, you cad!" Wyvern slowly recovers from the hit, grumbling and rubbing his aching snout in pain as the enraged noble storms off from the party. Quickly turning his attention to the lovely Alaeha who had just entered the party and was currently surveying the Twister boards, the lizard hisses to himself sinisterly as naughty thoughts wash over him. Snickering to himself and holding a bloody nose, the lustful lizard swiftly wanders towards Alaeha in the hopes of challenging her to a game of Twister and "accidentally" misplacing his claws on inappropriate spots when playing. Upon reaching Alaeha, the lizard flashes a razor-sharp grin and smoothly hisses: "Hi Alaeha, glad you could make it this evening. Hey, listen, would you be up to maybe drinking a few bottles of Almost Draconic Tango Mandarine Bitter-sweet Stomach Mailting Crawfish Wine™, preferably enough to make the world look like a blur to you, and then playing an intense game of Twister with me?" Alaeha's face goes blank as she overhears the proposition, and her right hand slowly coils into slapping formation as she notices the lizard rubbing his scaly palms together in over-confident excitement.

I thought that "Stranger" was a very interesting and well-written poem, Yui-chan, and found the more liberal uses of form in it very refreshing after the consistant rhymes of your previous poems. I particularly liked some of your original uses of structure in the piece, which I didn't pick up on a first read but which became more apparent after looking back over it a few times. I especially like your pattern of hyphenated adjectives, as the manner that four of the stanzas use four syllable hyphenated adjectives in their third and fourth lines is a very unique and innovative use of structure. Unlike Katzaniel, I thought that the original details of the piece spoke for themselves, and were not hindered by the lack of rhyme schemes. In terms of potential improvements, I don't think that "However" and "that's how" deserve stanzas to themselves, and you might want to either get rid of them entirely or condense them into the other stanzas somehow. Also, the last stanza reads as a bit confusing to me, as I'm uncertain of the theme that it's trying to convey. Are the two strangers contemplating the manner that strangers view each other in general as a result of their encounter? You may want to expand upon it somehow... Finally, the last line of the first stanza and the use of the adjective "too-small" in the first line of the second stanza both struck me as a bit awkward when compared to the other details, and you might want to rephrase them somehow. Excellent stuff! Yui-chan going freeform, who'da thought...

Several gangs of news reporters crowd into the Cabaret Room as the Defender strikes an heroic pose on one of the Pen's couches, holding up the lifeless body of the legendary Sasser Serpent as a trophy while numerous photographers proceed to take his picture. All at once, the reporters begin rapidly asking questions: "Mr. Defender, is it true that you only used pro tools in defeating the monster?!" "Mr. Defender, sir, just how fast is your ample dexterity, fast enough to-?!" "Mr. Defender, why do you think the beast was named the Sasser Serpent in the first place?" "Well..." responds the Defender with a grin, turning towards the attractive female reporter who had asked the last question. "I'd say it was because he was such a sassy opponent, clever hiding places and all." As the interviews with the Defender continue, another group of reporters gathers around the BUNNY-COMP, sticking their microphones in the computer's direction and asking: "Mr. BUNNY-COMP, when did you first become aware that you had a worm living within the deepest regions of your circuitry?" "..." "Amazing" grumble the reporters, turning to each other and nodding. "Just like a real Mr. Bunny response!" ;-) OOC: Glad to see that your connection has been restored, Stick. Welcome back!

Wyvern slowly hobbles away from the Twister board with the aid of Finnius, who helps the overgrown lizard regain his balance and surmount any remaining bouts of nausea that he experiences. The punk-influenced Blue Man and the lizard encounter Xaious on their way towards the central buffet area of the party, and the Master of Time cheerfully waves to them before chiming. "Hi Wyv, hi Finn. Just wanted to see what was up with you guys, y'know, maybe share a few sips of my Vodka with y'all. Oh yeah, and by the way, the stone roof of the Conservatory has become irreparably damaged through the arrival of the Master of Malice, and the dancefloor's mosh pit has become a Mosh Pit of Doom hosting flames capable of rivalling those of Hades itself. And by the way, somebody illegally parked their car outside too." Wyvern turns to Finnius for a moment and exchanges a quizzical glance, then quickly whips out his trusty Almost Dragonic Brand Party Calculator™ (note: "trusty" is a trademark slogan of Almost Dragonic Brand Party Calculators, copyright control®) and begins typing away at it. "Hmmm..." hisses the lizard upon seeing the results that the calculator produces after he's finished typing. "According to my cheaply fabricated yet extremely reliable Almost Dragonic Brand product, the parallels to Hell are only supposed to occur in a scenario where Melba accidentally drinks a full glass of Sucker Punch, which must be a marginal error on behalf of the machine. However, we appear to be one illegally parked car over our current catastrophe limit... something should be done." Glancing left and right, the overgrown lizard catches sight of Gyrfalcon tensely seated at one of the buffet tables, watching the commotions as they occur left and right. Quickly dashing towards the half-elven hero and narrowly avoiding a violent collision with DL_Snake in the process, the reptilian Elder arrives at Gyrfalcon's table and proceeds to whisper several hisses into his ear. Nodding to the overgrown lizards requests, the generous Elder immediatly lifts himself from his seat and begins chanting numerous incantations under his breath, focussing his attention towards the mosh pit and the stone debris littering the ground. The crowds screaming in the mosh pit, who are more terrified of losing their trendy spiked metal jackets than they are of searing their flesh, are suddenly overcome with relief as the flames of the mosh pit cease to cause any significant burns while still roaring brightly throughout the pit. At approximately the same time, the stones left over from the ceiling incident proceed to levitate towards buffet table #4, where they are promptly added to the Stone Soup that's been put on display. Clenching a scaly fist in a victory pose and high-fiving Gyrfalcon, Wyvern proceeds to grab an Almost Dragonic Brand microphone from within his tunic, and exclaims to the masses: "..." Wyvern frowns as his voice fails to carry over the constant yelling and commotion of the party... or make any noise at all for that matter. Glancing at the "microphone" he carries, the lizard suddenly notices that what he holds is in fact an ogresses' lost hair pin from the mosh pit, which he proceeds to toss aside in disgust. Whipping out a real Almost Dragonic microphone, the overgrown lizard enthusiastically raises it to his snout and exclaims: "Ladies and gentlemen...!" The overgrown lizard pauses for a moment, then frowns at the disfunctional microphones faulty volume level. Shaking the microphone twice and cursing as it falls apart in his hands, Wyvern immediatly strides over to the buffet table containing Martha Stewert's "Recipes of Mass Embezzlement," and quickly grabs a loudspeaker disguised as a Cornucopia. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" the reptilian Elder exclaims, his voice now ringing loud and clear, causing people to turn their heads from their chaotic activities for a brief moment to listen. "I would like to welcome one and all to the Quincuinox, a celebration in honor of the Quincunx' collective birthday, occuring this lovely evening of the 666th annual vernal equinox lunar eclipse!" The crowds cheer. "While the guests have only begun to arrive to this monumental event, I'd like to point out some of the activities that people can participate in, for those who are lost and uncertain what to do. For starters, our extremely well equipped chocolate mud wrestling arena is now fully open to participation, and people are highly encouraged to hop in in pairs and duke it out." With that, Wyvern waves a scaly claw towards the arena with glee, unaware that Tzimfemme is currently using it as her delux swimming pool of choice. "If mud wrestling isn't your game, you can feel free to socialize with other members at the vast buffet tables, and are encouraged to try the variety of highly exotic foods available there. Feel free to indulge in the Sucker Punch available to drink as well, and be sure to note that there will be a Sucker Punch guzzling contest occuring later in the evening (note: Almost Dragonic is not responsible for spontaneous combustions resulting through the extensive drinking of this hyperactivity-inducing fluid)" A small, half-roasted imp gives a thumbs up to the crowd from its platter on buffet table #7, then promptly realizes its supposed to be playing dead and pretends to faint. "Also, don't forget that you can always find a partner to dance with on our extensive neon dancefloor, now complete with a non-scalding eternal flame mosh pit. There will be a dance contest hosted later, so be on the lookout and try to find a partner before then! There's also the roof to stargaze off of, and plenty of games of Twister... and, uhhh, Gwaihir's outfit to observe, since it's quite a spectacle and will probably grow over the course of the evening." Wyvern pauses for a moment to clear his throat of a few ashes, then continues: "This party brought to you by Almost Dragonic Brand First Aid Kits... Make the drink coasters of your next party look special with Almost Dragonic Brand First Aid Kits, the only first aid kits that can effectively act as a drink coaster (and little else)." Many of those that have gathered at the party boo as Wyvern airs his advertisement, and when people begin throwing stones from buffet table #4 instead of tomotaes, the overgrown lizard ditches the loud speaker and exclaims: "Party on!"

Wyvern clumsily shifts on the neon tiles of the dancefloor and groans, vainly attempting to snatch the geld from the mouths of the ducks that hover over his head as they slowly dissipate and vanish into thin air. The overgrown lizard lifts himself on one hand, then proceeds to turn green from the dizziness it provokes and collapses back into his initial position, whining in a high-pitched hiss as he waits for the world to stop rapidly spinning around him. He then turns his reptilian eyes towards Finnius' stylish-yet-adequatly-rebellious-looking jack-boots, which rest only a few inches from his scaly snout, and inhales a sharp breath when he hears the Blue Man exclaim: "I need a huge frickin' mosh pit, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW" "No..." the reptilian Elder manages meekly as he notices a dancer with spiked soles on her shoes advance towards his area along with countless other menacing steel-toed boots. D.J Terra Nova pauses the music for a moment with a flick of his hand, adjusting his mana-infused shades and nodding his head as a crowd begins to gather around Wyvern. "No." manages the lizard once again, reaching out with a scaly arm in the hopes of crawling away as he notices several fawns and centaurs arriving on the scene, the horseshoes on their hooves still glowing red from their recent ironing and emitting small wafts of smoke with each step. D.J Terra Nova reaches for a record sealed in an iron envelope, and slowly pulls it out of it's casing with an iron grating sound. "No!" cries Wyvern as he notices several unwashed troll feet beginning to surround his area, carniverous fungi and small colonies of centipedes attached to them, their stench immediatly inducing the lizard with another spell of nausea. D.J Terra Nova places the jet black record he now holds on the righthand side of his angel bone turntables, and scratches it twice to make sure it's ready to be played. The crowd then goes into an uproar as the music begins blasting at incalculable volumes. "Rage Against the Machine SUCKS! Rage Against the Machine SUCKS! Rage Against the Machine SUCKS! Rage Against the Machine SUCKS!" "For the love of geld, NOOOOOOOO!" screams Wyvern from his position as the familiar tune of Death Rock's "THEY DEAD" begins playing and the crowd immediatly goes into an hysterical frenzy. The overgrown lizard shuts his eyes tightly and proceeds to say his last prayers, which involve mountains of geld, countless scantily clad women, and the dead body of Melba being dragged out of a lake; when he suddenly finds himself snatched out of the grip of disaster by a black-gloved hand. "What th-" Wyvern manages as he notices a man in a ninja mask swiftly leading him away from the raging dancefloor. The ninja stops when he's reached the safety of a Twister board resting on the outskirts of the floor, and then proceeds to set Wyvern down on it. "Geeze..." manages Wyvern, slowly swaying back and forth. "Thanks, mysterious unnamed ninja man, how can I ever-" "HAAAAAIIIIIIIYYYYYYYAAA!!!" Wyverns words of thanks are promptly interrupted as the ninja man proceeds to clobber him with a twelve-hit martial arts combo. Dusting off his hands, the ninja yells: "That was for my cousins roommate, who you disregarded in your last martial arts video game scheme, you unworthy opponent!" With that, the ninja promptly storms off towards the partys exit while Wyverns snout rubs against the "Red number four" circle of the Twister board...

Near the entrance of the party, just beyond the guards at the gates... Lady Celes Crusador happily strolls into the party, sniffing at the wide variety of strange aromas that linger in the air while Cambronne paws at the frogs hopping about at her feet. The curious cat hops along after a frog for a few paces and is about to pounce on it when suddenly, an enormous fist of muscular knuckles and grimey flesh lifts the poor feline off of the ground by its leash. Celes Crusador suddenly comes to a halt as she finds an enormous troll guard standing before her, carrying Cambronne by his leash and snorting to himself proudly. Handing Celes her cat and wiping the snot from under his wart-infested nose with his other hand, the troll reaches into the front pocket of his spiked leather XXXXL jacket and takes out a crumpled invitation poster. Pointing at the poster with one of his huge fingers and frowning, the troll growls: "Sorry ma'am, but can't let ya in without da entry fee. One cat haiku, or it's out with you, and your lil pet too!" Elsewhere, around the buffet tables of the party... As one of the many mortal countryfolk of the party runs off screaming from the Dreamer's general area, MeThinksUFoolish silently contemplates his plan of flight. "STARS!" the Savage Dragon exclaims, turning his eyes towards an open window and causing several of the party-goers to turn pale at the sight of his flapping wings. "B-b-but!" exclaims the mortal countryman who had ran from the Dreamer and was now faced with another horror. "Why, you can find plenty of the stars right here. Look, there's Peredhil the Polite, and I think that I saw Gyrfalcon the Heroic.- No need to flap your wings and create a catastrophe!" Ignoring the countryman's pathetic pleas, MeThinksUFoolish quickly forms a violent tornado through the rapid beatings of his wings, causing the countryman to scream at the top of his lungs and run off towards the safety of the dancelfloor. As the Savage Dragon takes flight, the tornado that he created steadily advances towards the buffet tables, their destruction seemingly imminent. Fortunatly, the Dreamer happens to stand directly in the tornados path, and simply snatches the wind formation by its tip with one of his hands. Briefly using the breeze from the tornado as a convenient method to stir his tea, the powerful immortal then tosses the gust of wind towards the dancefloor, where it properly belongs. At the Dancefloor of the Party... The terrified countryman comes to a panting halt as he reaches the neon dancefloor, wiping the sweat from his brow and breathing for a moment only to be consumed into the dancing crowd. The countryman screams for his money as he see's Wyvern doing the "Hug-a-buck" to the tune of "Geld Geld Geld," and promptly faints when he notices the tornado once again headed in his general direction. Upon the sight of the tornado, many of the people dancing in the crowd move to the side to let it pass through... with the exception of Wyvern, who is too consumed in the "Hug-a-buck" to notice the natural disaster approaching. Performing the final "silver dollar spin" of the dance routine and hissing with glee, the overgrown lizard is suddenly sent spinning far faster than he could ever imagine. "H-h-h-h-h-h-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p m-m-m-m-m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!!!"

Wyvern dashes into the Cabaret Room and immediatly bows towards Ozymandias, wishing the Almost Egyption Elder the best of birthdays while admiring the "jet blaze" function on his brand new pair of Eterna Lys. Gently nudging the Loremaster with a scaly shoulder and winking towards Xaious, the overgrown lizard hisses: "Careful walking with those things in dark volcanos late at night, Ozy... you never know how desperate some flame elementals might be for a new pair of shoes." Having said this, Wyvern quickly digs into a sack that he's carrying and pulls out an Almost Dragonic Brand Inter-Sceptor (a horrendously designed sceptor with a baseball glove for a tip), which he hands to Ozymandias as a gift. The overgrown lizard then quickly puts up an arrow sign that reads "Join the Festivities Here!," and rapidly departs in pursuit of Tanuchan. ;-) OOC: Hope you have a Happy 25th, Ozy!

As members, visitors, and frogs continue flooding into the prestigously decorated quarters of the Conservatory, Wyvern paces back and forth between a buffet table of Outback Gorgon Bull Ribs and a sparkling crystal bowl of Sucker Punch. The greedy lizard pauses for a moment in order to scratch off "stone soup" from his lengthy checklist for buffet table #4, and then raises a brow as he notices that the floodlights are no longer functioning under the adjacent punch table. The lizard scratches his scaly chin for a moment in contemplation and gazes at the punch bubbling ominously, then quickly turns in order to greet several familiar faces. "Finniusss!" exclaims Wyvern as he notices the bruised Blue Man stumbling in the general direction of the buffet. "Excellent to see you here, going for a 'bruised' makeup style I see... I heard that's really popular amongst the half-orcs nowadays." "Not a fashion statement, I'm afraid." mumbles Finnius, sighing and shaking his head at the lizard. "Was roughed up by the bouncers, where do you find these creepy troll ruffians anyway?" "Melba's Ex-boyfriends." answers Wyvern, frowning at Finnius' words and offering him a glass of Bruteweiser. The lizard then gently nudges the Saint and points him towards the crowded neon dancefloor, sinisterly hissing "Ssssay, you see that high elf gal wearing the glow-in-the-dark ear bracelets? I heard she's a fan of the 'Blues,' might want to check it out." "Hmmm... I dunno Wyv. I don't have my underwear with-" "WYVERN!" Finnius' dialogue is suddenly interrupted as Wyvern turns, only to be hit directly in the face by the fist of a complete stranger. "That was for my brother's nephew!" screams the stranger. "Who you disregarded in your last zoology scheme, punk!" Finnius quickly departs to another side of the party as the angered man storms over the immobile form of Wyvern in the direction of the exit. The overgrown lizard writhes in agony for a few moments, then lifts himself to his feet and notices Dean the Adequate indulging in petit-fours at a buffet table specializing in classic french cuisine (perhaps the most bizarre cuisine of them all). "Hiya Dean." hisses the lizard while approaching Dean the Adequate and flimsily shaking his hand. "Glad you could make it, I highly recommend the basilisk tail appetizers over at buffet table #4, they're monumentally delicious." Wyvern is promptly interrupted as he hears a few barks, and turns with Dean just in time to see a familiar black wolf chasing a flock of frogs, which are headed in the direction of the parties chocolate mud wrestling arenas. The lizard is about to speak up when he notices the Dreamer leaning against a wall adjacent to the Conservatory roof stairwell, and quickly rushes towards the area to greet him. "Greetings Dreamer! Excellent seeing you here, I-" The lizard is suddenly interrupted as a fat troglyodyte sporting a blitzball cap taps him on the shoulder. "S'cuse me, Wyvern sir..." mumbles the troglyodyte shyly. "But me and the boys were wondering if there were any Blitz Burgers to munch on while we watch the 5068th Blitzball championship games. Couldn't find any at the buffet..." Wyvern scratches his chin, then quickly departs from the Dreamer's area in order to wander back to the buffet tables. Snatching a Martha Stewert "Recipes of Mass Embezzlement" dish known as "sliced bread" from the first buffet, Wyvern quickly grabs a live frog from the ground and stuffs it inbetween the two slices, then hands the concoction to the happy troglyodyte, who proceeds to immediately devour it. Wyvern turns towards Falcon, who happens to also be viewing the buffet, and winks while pointing towards the Blitzball fan. "Live frogs, Blitz burgers... who can tell the difference eh?! Thanks for coming by the way, Falcon, good to see you here." The overgrown lizard's scaly ears suddenly perk up as the familiar tune of "Geld Geld Geld" starts playing on the dancefloor. Departing from the buffet table and hissing with glee as he rushes off to dance, Wyvern meets MeThinksUFoolish on his way there. "I'm a Page!" exclaims the Savage Dragon. "I'm a Page!" "No doubt about it!" responds Wyvern, jerking his head towards the dancefloor. "Now make like a leaf in a binder, and get LOOSE!"

Throughout the Halls of the Mighty Pen, large posters have been nailed up onto walls, doors, bathroom stalls, personal belongings, legal documents, Aardvark's spare wooden leg, crystal balls, bed posts, Celes Crusador’s sandwiches, and any object that Orlan has touched within the last twenty four hours. The Almost Dragonic scrawl on the posters reads... --- Wyvern the Patron Saint of Parties proudly presents... The Quincuinox A celebration in honor of the birthday of the Quincunx, occuring this evening, the night of the 666th annual vernal equinox lunar eclipse. You are cordially invited... To See - The beautiful lunar eclipse when it occurs on the 24th hour of this memorable occasion, in all it’s glory, upon the fully equiped stargazing rooftop of the Conservatory. To Hear - The anxious grunts of near-nekkid men as they duke it out in the very finest of chocolate mud wrestling arenas, complete with caramel rain and sprinkle hail weather functions. Ladies, you will not want to miss your favorite pen males in their tastiest of moments... To Taste - The huge banquet buffet of countless dishes of experimental cuisine, offering a combination of Tzimfemmstein cooking experiments and Martha Stewerts unpublished work “Recipes of Mass Embezzlement.” Be prepared for the widest arrangement of bizarre cuisines you have witnessed in your lifetime. To Smell - The near-toxic vapors of the special house drink of the evening, “Sucker Punch.” A form of punch that contains a glucose level so high, a single cup can drive one into the very highest states of hyperactivity. To Touch - Your dance partners hand as you boogey down on the huge neon tiled dance floor, complete with an extra-shiny disco ball and several spots to play games of Twister. Join D.J Terra Nova as he spins such classic songs as Death Rock’s “Acid Rain Sex Engine,” Buzzrock’s “We Will Buzz You,” and Orlan’s “Banquet Hall.” Unmissable! To Experience the Sixth Sense - While awaiting the eclipse on the Conservatory’s rooftop, amongst several cryptic runes, glowing crystal balls, mystic mirrors, and ancient indecipherable parchments. Quiet, solitary types who don’t feel like dancing or partying can study scriptures here in preperation for the lunar eclipse, and those who feel they can only express themselves through poetry can add to the mystical doctrines present. While the fee for this event is normally huge due to people from all corners of the continent forming enormous lines in the hopes of entering, those who are associated to the Pen, whether they be part of the community or Honored Guests, have been placed on the guestlist. They are free to avoid the endless lines and enter at their leisure, though an entry fee is still required for the event. Males must bring one original variety of underwear or boxer shorts to donate while females must bring one cat haiku to submit, with both of these items acting as birthday gifts. There is no particular dress code involved for this event, though it is recommended to bring sunglasses for stargazing. Hope to see you all there! Wyvern ---

Within an ancient observatory located several miles East of the Pen, on top of a hill that ressembles a gigantic stone version of Zool’s toupée, a scientific discussion of vital philosophical importance takes place between two figures in white lab coats... “I still say that these donut holes ressemble comets, Verteniun. I mean, just look at the one on the far lefthand corner of the box, it’s curve ratio is so easily paralleled with that of Haleys!” “No, Daliarus... I must maintain the notion that these donut holes bear a greater ressemblence to black holes than they do to comets. The sugar glaze is surely decieving you. Had these donuts been coated in chocolate glaze, you would immediatly remark the striking similarity.” “But you forget that black holes are permanent fixtures, Vert, and our supply is far from infinite. In fact, these holes fade with the speed of comets.” “But comets fade faster still when they fly into black holes.” “What?! Absurd!” “You want absurd?! I’ll tell you what’s absurd, it’s absurd that we didn’t get chocola-” “WHAT IN THE COSMOS ARE YOU TWO NUMBSKULLS DOING?!” Verteniun and Daliarus suddenly freeze in their places as the familiar voice of Master Calzoo echoes throughout the observation dome, causing the two astronomers to quickly reach for their respective telescopes and accidentally smear the delicate lenses with donut glaze in the process. The procrastinators cringe as the footsteps of their master grow closer and closer to their seats, until finally the venerable astronomer growls: “You idiots, the vernal equinox has come and all you can do is talk about the products of some petty bakery? Please, describe to me some of the things you have observed in your delicate observations of the universe.” Turning to each other and frowning, Verteniun and Daliarus quickly peer into their telescopes and jot down a few last minute notes before turning to Master Calzoo and collectively exclaiming: “The weather prevents us from any observations, Master. It has caused the telescope lenses to become blurry.” Calzoo frowns upon hearing this, and practically shoves Daliarus out of his seat in order to observe from one of the telescropes himself. Noticing the donut glaze present on the lense, the astronomer scowls at his two disciples before muttering the incantation to the spell “Clean Telescope Lense” and carefully observing the stars for himself. “Hmmm... very interesting, very interesting indeed. The manner that the planets have become aligned is extremely mysterious, cryptic, unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Saturn has formed a fourty five degree angle with Pluto, with Mars creating a significant bulge in the shape and Jupiter acting as a tip of sorts. Our Gaea seems to be caught right around the center... the lunar eclipse taking place this evening should be very brilliant indeed.” Having said this, Calzoo lifts himself from the chair, stroking his chin thoughtfully as he slowly departs from the chamber. Reclaiming his seat and shaking his head, Daliarus glances into the telescope out of curiousity, and exclaims to Verteniun: “Say, this planetary alignment thing looks kinda like a triangle to me... or maybe a pointy ear.” “A pointy ear?” mimicks Vert, smirking at the notion “And what would Gaea be in this scenario, Dali?” “I dunno...” mutters Daliarus, shrugging and licking the last of the donut glaze off of his finger tips. “Perhaps an interplanetary earing of sorts?”

I got to see Eyedea & Abilities, Blueprint, Illogic, and Grayskul this evening at the 9:30 Club in concert. First, a little back story leading up to this event... My friend Brian from the rock department of WRGW managed to hook me up with a spot on the guestlist for the show, which allowed me to get in for free and was supposed to get me backstage passes and VIP access, though they ended up denying those when I came to pick the tickets up. The guestlist spot also allowed me to take one person along with me for free, and after much contemplation on whether she should study for exams or go, my friend Bess ended up coming along as well. The first act to perform was Grayskul, who I had never heard music from before but who ended up being good. The two M.Cs of the group, Onry Ossbourn and JFK, came out onto the set carrying alien dolls on their shoulders, and a T.V airing static was placed on the center of the stage for a kind of ominous effect. A person playing live bass complimented their rhymes, which seemed to be largely centered around the elements of science fiction and the supernatural. I'll be sure to check for material from them in the future. The next act to take the stage was Illogic. Those of you who read my previous review of Weightless in Campbell will know that when I saw him there for the first time live, none of the sound equipment worked and he ended up performing spoken word. This time, all the sound equipment worked perfectly and he put on a very good musical set. He remains one of my very favorite M.Cs. After Illogic finished his set, Blueprint took the stage, and promptly tore the entire house down with his performance. He was a true entertainer, seemlessly intermingling comedy with more tragic narratives and spitting with a ferocity and passion rarely seen in hip hop. Highlights of his set included a "serious" poem he kicked about the merits of skinny and fat girls, a collective dance involving people kneeling to the ground in intervals, and a fantastic live performance of his verse on the track "Alchemy." Print's set was probably my favorite of the evening. Finally, Eyedea & Abilities came out to perform, and they completely killed it as well. D.J Abilities is probably my favorite scratcher, and his live sets far from disappoint... he's simply amazing. Eyedea is almost equally skilled on rhymes, and kicked several freestyles while acting as the vocal equivalent of D.J Abilities scratching. One thing that really impressed me was the amount of interactions between the M.C and the D.J in their set, as the manner that they complimented each other was entirely unique. Eyedea's enormous amount of energy on stage was also extremely infectious. Other notable things in the show include this random drunk girl who came up to me and said something along the lines of "You look like you're rocking in Heaven" in response to my getting live, which was very funny and quite flattering. In addition, after the show, I picked up several rare tour only CDs and promos for the station, and also connected and chatted with several of the artists. Bess and I actually ended up hanging out with D.J Abilities for a while afterwards since he decided to accompany us all the way to our dorms, as his hotel was close by. He's a really nice guy with a strong foundation in jazz, and considers the turntable the most important musical instrument of the last twenty years. Overall, the show was amazing and I had a great time.

I really like the original form of this poem, Falcon, and think that your choice to experiment with music tonology in writing it produced a very interesting read. I particularly like the way that phrases such as "last night" and "every thing" are split to seperate lines, as they seem to create a very broken read that accentuates the theme of shattered love dealt with in the piece nicely. Keep up the good work.

Wyvern strolls into the Cabaret Room upon hearing the exclamation of Xaious' incomprehensible word, and immediatly notices several people engaging in the sin of gluttony without him. Hissing to himself hungrily and sniffing at the variety of free foods available with his scaly nose, the overgrown lizard immediately heads towards the cheese stand located at the center of the room and rubs his scaly mits together in anticipation. Picking up the knife available for cutting the cheese, the overgrown lizard proceeds to pocket it in the hopes of selling it for a considerable sum, then burries his face in the cheese platter in order to disgust anyone else from eating it. The greedy Elder quickly abandones the tactic, however, as he promptly chokes on the incredibly foul tasting appetizer. "Bleeech!" coughs Wyvern as his red scales turn green and large quantities of half-chewed cheese are spat onto the floor. "This stuff is TERRIBLE, tastes like year old troll toe fungi! Where did you get this stuff, Xaious?" "It's Almost Dragonic Brand Chevre..." explains the worried-looking Master of Time, twiddling his thumbs and whistling innocently to himself. "Oh." says Wyvern, rapidly reconsidering his initial reaction and forcing an awkward smile onto his face in order to advertise his products well. "No wonder I thought it tasted like year old troll toe fungi... it is year old troll toe fungi!" Upon hearing this, several Pen members who had just taken bites of their portions of cheese immediatly turn pale, and stand still for a moment before dashing off towards the Pen bathrooms as fast as their legs can carry them. Glancing around nervously and letting out a stiff bout of laughter, Wyvern quickly tries to cover up the foul nature of his products by handing out generous portions of Bruteweiser booze from the Endless Decanter, and exclaiming: "A Happy Unbirthday to all!" ;-) OOC: A particularly Happy Unbirthday to Lord Jakob, Elwen, Kasmandre, Mira, and DeantheAdequate, whose celebrations I missed. Expect some special attention in an upcoming roleplaying party thread that I'll be hosting. ;-)

Thanks for the great write up, Katzaniel! It seemed largely accurate, though the phrase "Congratulations! You are most like Wyvern!" may ultimately present a strong tone of irony... ;-) I chose Gyrfalcon as the participant to write on, and came up with the following: I realize this doesn't quite follow the exact format that was originally set up, but I thought I'd try to do one with an emphasis on showing anyway. I'll gladly write up another, more traditionally formatted result for Gyrfalcon or any other participant if you'd like me too...

As I mentioned before, HappyBuddha, I think that this is a very well written poem. I really like the originality of the subject matter in your poetry, and the metaphor of swallowing faeries depicted in this poem is a very good example of your original approach. I won't touch upon my interpretation of the themes of this poem since you've already explained them to me, but would advise those who wish to interpret it to look at the title of the poem in relation to the metaphor of faeries set throughout it. There was one thing that I found kind of irrelevent when reading this poem, which was the underlining of the second and fourth stanzas. The underlining of these stanzas confused me a bit, and I think that it isn't really needed since giving the lines stanzas of their own already places an emphasis on them. Very well done!

I liked both the Prologue and the advertisement blurb, and think that they both once again demonstrate your characteristically good writing, Yui. My favorite moments out of these two introductory posts were the interactions between the unnamed man and his sister in the prologue, as I think you tend to portray character interactions in your stories particularly well. In terms of potential improvements: I didn't really like the line "Of course, the world did not revolve around what one grief-stricken son liked to think" in the prologue since it's kind of telling on behalf of the narrator, and I think it could be dropped from the paragraph. Also, while I found the advertisement blurb very useful and informative, it didn't immediately grab my attention from the get-go, which I figure is normally the purpose of those types of things... perhaps you could offer some snippet of intriguing dialogue or a brief part of an intense scene to start the add off in order to snare the reader in? Very nice drawing by the way... are you planning to use that for the cover, or is it more of an advertisement supplement?

I finally managed to see Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill" on DVD this evening... I was a bit skeptical of the film as I had heard mixed reviews of it from my friends... but after watching it, I must say that it's left me very impressed. This is one of the most stylistic films I've seen in a while, and it probably ranks alongside "25th Hour" as one of my favorite movies of 2003. The entire film plays out like an homage to old martial arts movies and anime while simultaneously parodying them and rendering the entire thing hilarious. You've got to give love to Tarantino for quoting "old klingon proverbs" and for giving so much camera time to peoples feet... Those who place an emphasis on plot in films might not enjoy it too much, and it's not for the faint of heart, but I would highly recommend "Kill Bill" to everyone else. I'll definitely have to go and see "Kill Bill Volume 2" in the theatres as soon as I get a chance.

Just to let everyone know, the final episode of "Any. Given. Moment." went very well last week... Third Earth Music was dealt with over the course of the show, M.C Kimani Rogers was interviewed, and a couple of people were shouted out over the air. Rather than go into specific details about this show, I'd like to instead provide everyone with an MP3 of the final episode, as Degenero Angelous was kind enough to record it and Yui-chan was kind enough to host it. You can download and listen to the entire show here: "Third Rocks From the Sun" Those who never had the chance to tune into my show due to scheduling conflicts should definitely check this one out, as it certainly provides an accurate depiction of what my show is like and is probably one of my best shows yet! Thanks once again to everyone who has tuned in and has helped out with "Any. Given. Moment." this semester, particularly those who have recorded it, those who have called in by request, and those who have contacted me by AIM during my show. "Any Given Moment" will return without the pretentious periods after the Summer has ended, with the brand new time slot of Thursdays from 8:00 - 10:00 PM, US EST. Further detail will be added to this description a few months down the line, and this thread will be unstickied next week once people have been alerted of the MP3. {Edit by Yui-chan: Updated the link to the file, as I was doing some 'housecleaning' on the site. Sorry for the inconvenience, all.}

Meanwhile, on an exotic deserted island somewhere in the Bahamas, millions of miles away from the Pen... Wyvern casually strolls along the peaceful shoreline of the Isle of Cocowairdeeheck, breathing in the soothing Ocean air as several radiant rays of sunlight fall upon him and cause his crimson scales to glow in the neon purple hue of Red Light district signs. Seating himself on a rock jutting out of the sand that seems to be a safe distance from the wet tide of the Ocean rolling in, the overgrown lizard lets out a dismal hiss and proceeds to place a large bag of coconuts that he had been carrying onto the sand by his side. Glancing at the label on the sack, which reads "Almost Dragonic Brand Coocoonuts; putting the craziness back into the nut," Wyvern rolls his eyes and curses to himself while simultaneously grinning at the notion that AoA would have been proud of his endeavor. The scheme to raid the abandoned island for cheap fruit resources had seemed so perfect, and would have surely succeeded had it not been for his escort departing from the isle without him, leaving him hopelessly stranded. The pirate with a patch over the left half of his brain simply hadn't been the most reliable of allies... Wyvern's thoughts are suddenly interrupted as a large wave rolling into shore tosses a bottle carrying a message into the air, which proceeds to land directly on top of the overgrown lizards forehead and shatters into a million pieces. Clutching his scaly noggin in pain and cursing wildly at his misfortunes, the reptilian Elder spends a few moments recovering from the hit before glancing curiously at the letter that the bottle contained: ...waiting for you in the office. so come back from your latest scheme already. probably something to do with coconuts im sure. and let Jameez into da club already... Wyvern's eyes widen as he suddenly realizes that there may be applicants waiting for him at the Recruiter's Office, and lets out a huge string of curses as he begins searching the ground for twigs in the vain hopes of constructing some sort of makeshift raft to sail to the Pen. The overgrown lizard's extensive uses of profanity catch the attention of an innocent-looking cloud hovering overhead, which slowly begins approaching the area around where Wyvern searches. The skies suddenly darken and an eerie humming noise engulfs the Isle of Cocowairdeeheck as the "cloud" drops its camoflauge to reveal a flying saucer, which fires a teleportation beam down at the unsuspecting form of Wyvern and causes him to vanish just as an enormous tidal wave looms over his head and threatens to crash down upon him. The overgrown lizard rematerializes in the Recruiter's Office next to Jameez and, after a moment of intense shock and confusion, breaths a long sigh of relief and smiles towards the applicant. The lizard's relaxation is shortlived, however, as the aliens in the saucer decide to transport the tidal wave into the Recruiter's Office as well as a practical joke, thereby thoroughly soaking all of those that have gathered there and causing complete chaos... Muttering strings of curses mingled with apologies under his breath, Wyvern coughs up a few shrimp and immediately stamps Jameez's wet application "ACCEPTED." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application Jameez, welcome to the Mighty Pen! My apologies for the extensive waiting period for a response, I've been very busy with numerous exams and papers in real life recently and haven't found much time to write this week. I look forward to reading more of your works, and to partipating with you in community projects. Once again, welcome!

Last Sunday, I got to see the Quannum Spectrum (D.J Shadow, Blackalicious, Latyrx, Lifesavas, Joyo Valarde, and D.J D-Sharp) perform at the 9:30 Club in Washington D.C. I didn't get to chat with the artists beforehand this time around since the 9:30 Club was already packed by the time I got there, but I fortunatly still managed to make my way to the front row of the crowd before the show started. D.J D-Sharp spun records and scratched before the rest of the artists came out to start things off. He was very energetic and skilled on the turntables, which made for a very entertaining introduction to the show. After D.J D-Sharp finished his set and the crowd was hyped for Quannum, D.J Shadow and Chief Xcel of Blackalicious came out and took their positions at two seperate turntables while D-Sharp remained at a third one. The three D.Js were out at all times and alternated in scratching over the course of the sets, which was a very good set up as it created a certain fluidity between acts. The rest of the Quannum crew then came on stage, and all of them put on excellent performances. The M.Cs did both solo tracks and group tracks with each other, and were consistantly great throughout the three hours they performed. A few highlights include a very short but very impressive D.J Shadow solo set in which he performed a live version of his famous track "Organ Donor," a performance by Latyrx of their amazing funk track "Lady Don't Tek No" which showed what Lyrics Born and Lateef the Truthspeaker are capable of live, and Vursatyl of the Lifesavas performance of the track "HelloHiHey" in which he conversed with himself through a video of his rapping parts of the track. The crowd was also one of the livest crowds I've ever been a part of, and really impressed Quannum with their cheering... One very interesting thing that was used in the concert which I had never seen or heard of before was DVD turntables, which allowed D.J Shadow and Chief Xcel to actually scratch parts of videos during the sets of the various M.Cs. I was very impressed by what they did with this technology, as it allowed them to cause parts of videos to skip and jump around, which made it seem like there was dancing in them as the rappers performed. Overall, it was a great show... the only thing that might have made it more complete is if D.J Shadow had performed a live version of "Midnight in a Perfect World," which I started a large-scale chant for but which was never touched upon. I would highly recommend seeing Quannum live after catching them in D.C, though the thirty dollars I paid for a ticket was a bit steep in price, even for a great line-up like this.

The "Any. Given. Moment" episode "Everything is Politics" went quite well last week, though I haven't had a chance to hear it for myself yet so I can't be sure. I think I may have used too many unnecessary sound effects... Anyway, I gave a shout out to the Mighty Pen as always, though there were no special dedications to Pen members. There were, however, several "special dedications" to the Bush administration and it's current foreign policies, and the show kept a very political theme throughout. Nobody called in, so I read several segments of news articles instead. Thanks to everyone who tuned in and listened! This week's show will be entitled "Third Rocks from the Sun," and it will be based on the excellent traditional hip hop label Third Earth Music. Kimani Rogers, the lead M.C of the groups Roosevelt Franklin and Masterminds as well as the head of Third Earth Music, will be calling in for an interview during the course of the show. You can actually read about it on the Third Earth website, where it's mentioned in the most recent news update. :-D This will also be my last show of the semester, so tune in if you can! Thanks to everyone who's supported "Any. Given. Moment." by tuning into it at some point over the course of the last few months. It's been a lot of fun hosting the show and an excellent experience all around, and I hope that those who have managed to tune in have enjoyed it, differing tastes in music aside. In further news: "Any. Given. Moment." next semester with a new time and potential co-host? Stay tuned... ;-)

Wyvern dashes into the Cabaret Room upon hearing word of Madoka's return, and immediately goes about tearing down several merchant stands he had set up containing immitation samurai wool gloves made for throwing star-oriented members of the Pen. Rapidly stashing away the product and regretfully noting that the mock golden fleece auction would likewise need to be canceled, the overgrown lizard quickly turns and bows to the honorable Madoka, wishing her a very happy return. ;-) OOC: Welcome back, Madoka. Certainly good to see you around the Pen again.

The Sun sets under golden hills as light turns into dark, and car tires come to screeching halts as hands put them in park. A tall man exits his gray buggy, then heads straight to the door he raps it twice, then knocks it thrice, and schemes of wealth and more. Martha: The first of guests is here already? Goodness, we're not prepared! I'll answer first, then furnish second, lest he disappear. Martha answers the door, then turns to the side the moment she see's who it is: Martha (to the side): Oh no, not him! Of all the folk That invitation could provoke It had to bring Charles' ex-lawyer: schemer, dreamer, and voyeur! Mark "the shark" Malarkey: Why greetings, little Bartha dearest! Where is good Charles, whom I am nearest? I wish him the happiest of glee on this, his day... good God! Sixty?! Pardon my laugh, have you champaign? Let's celebrate, wine bottles drain. Say, how is the old geezers health? Or better yet: how fairs his wealth? Martha: My name is Martha, can't you learn?! Just wait right here, I shall return with some sort of tasty beverage (and hopefully poison for leverage...) Mark nods and waits till Martha exits, then speaks to himself when he's alone: Mark: Lord, why can't that stupid geezer choke?! At this rate, I'll serve as a spoke in a larger machine aimed at wealth a curse upon Charles and his health! Had he not fired me, I would have had fortune a piece of the pie, an enormous portion, but as it stands I must live poorly drive a small buggy and have women ignore me. Except for sweet Alice, my reason of being! whose parents won't allow me to wed without seeing some material wealth... monsterous wretches! As if marriage and wedlock came with catches! If only my father, Honest Abe E. Could have given in and lent me some money... but he's always complaining about how I'm a dreamer and won't give me cash until I own a beamer, or am married... what a catch! And so I'm caught here, with Charles' staying alive my one fear. His not mentioning me in his will could be a second but I know that my cousin Nate has a good record and will get a fair sum... Nate's the gullible type, so I'll extort it from him with no trouble in sight...