Wyvern

*cough cough* Wyvern sighs as he lifts himself from the vat of water yet again, climbing back up the ladder and offering Zariah a half-hearted smirk in return for her smile. Bruteweiser, cold decaf coffee, whipping cream, melted chocolate, melted chocolate with whipping cream, cold decaf coffee with melted chocolate and whipping cream, Irish-Bruteweiser coffee with melted chocolate and a touch of whipping cream, Dominatrix Brand Whip Cream, Almost Dragonic Brand Acid (completely defective), Pen Babe Brand Sweat... out of all the liquids that Ayshela could have picked to torment Wyvern with, it had to be water. The overgrown lizard grimaces at the very thought of being dunked into the vat another time. Reaching the the top of the ladder just as the platform that holds him rises to its highest position once more, Wyvern sighs and positions his soaking tail in a comfortable position before sitting back down in his wet seat again. Thoughts of manners to decrease Merelas' aim float through the devious Elder's mind, as well as ways that he might give Carbone a little bath after the booth has closed... "Say, Ayshela?" mutters Wyvern glumly from his position. "I don't suppose you might be able to fix one of those little goldfish bowl treasure chest statues at the bottom of the tank, to make this whole experience a bit more pleasant?" ;-)

I celebrated this fourth of July by seeing Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" in theatres, as I thought it would be a patriotic thing to do. ;-) It was a really excellent film that made me laugh, cry, and seriously think, and I highly recommend it to everyone. Hopefully, the movie will have some influence on the upcoming election and motivate people who would otherwise remain neutral to vote, since it's been doing extremely well in theatres and has a definite political focus. Highlights of the film for me include a segment in which Moore attempts to get U.S senators to enlist their children in the army, and Bush's reactions directly after being informed of the attacks of September 11th (which I won't spoil here). Fans of "Bowling for Columbine" will not be disappointed with "Fahrenheit," and even those who didn't care for the former film might find "Fahrenheit" more interesting due to its strong political focus. I also saw what many consider one of the greatest spaghetti westerns of all time, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly," on DVD recently. I thought that it was a decent film, but far from the classic that some have cracked it up to be. Then again, westerns have never been my favorite genre of film, so I might have a slight bias against it. ;p If anyone wants to see a really great western film, rent "Unforgiven..." hands down my favorite western movie of all time.

Lumpen, I caught all of your show the other night, from 3 AM to 5 AM my time, and just wanted to say that I definitely enjoyed it. I really liked how you started off with Koko Taylor's "Evil" and ended with Koko Taylor's "Wang Dang Doodle," as it was a very nice way to bring things full circle and both of the tracks were great. I think "Evil" was a great opener for the show, since the blaring harmonica really seemed to capture the raw emotions of the blues for me. Your love for Stevie Ray Vaughn and Taj Mahal shined through both your track selection and your occasional announcements, and one highlight of the show for me was the transition from Stevie Ray's "Rude Mood" to Jimi Hendrix's "Voodoo Chile," as I wasn't expecting a Hendrix song in the mix and it worked very well. Overall, I would highly recommend "Crossroads" to any fans of blues and accoustic guitars. ;-) In terms of potential improvements for the show, I echo Ayshela's thoughts for the most part. While your announcements between tracks were very intelligent and knowledgable, it was very hard to hear you and I ended up adjusting the volumes depending on whether you were making an announcement or a track was coming on. I'd recommend turning up the mic levels a bit next time so that the volume of your voice is cordinated better with that of the tracks. Also, I wouldn't mind hearing more frequent announcements from you between tracks, but then I'm biased since that's my primary reason for tuning in. ;-) Thank you very much for the shout out, by the way. It was very interesting to hear my Pen name announced on australian radio at 4 AM, to say the least. ;-) Keep up the good work, Wyv- P.S: My father is a huge blues nut, so maybe I should tell him about the show...?

Wyvern quickly slips by Merelas' booth, licking the last of the pie cream off of his face as he places a ragged piece of paper in the half-fire elfs "In" booth. Raising a brow at sight of a new contest entry, Merelas creases his brows as he looks over the paper and reads it: --- "I see..." mutters the portly stranger, turning to the venerable priest that had been speaking to him in philosophical tongues earlier and frowning. "You do?" chimes the priest in a shocked manner, his eyes widening as a smile overcomes his face. "Why, that's wonderful news! Truth be told, I usually lose people around when I say 'a dark force spreads in the country!'" The stranger frowns and moves his foot around in the dirt a bit, silently brushing off his robes as the nightingale that had been tweeting in the background abruptly comes to a standstill, falling unconscious from its branch due to excessive air pollution. "Dark force...? *sigh* You know, I still don't see how this is going to correct my being wrongfully accussed." The priest immediatly scowls and steps forward upon hearing this, waving his fist in the air as he exclaims: "You fool, is your heart not full of dread?! A dark force arrises in the country... it goes by the name of MunnDae, and is King of all that is flame! Joseph the potato farmer learned, oh he learned alright. It is only a matter of time before you learn as well! I warn you." The portly stranger rolls his eyes and lets out a dismal sigh, waving a hand at the priest and shaking his head as he begins to head off from the area of the dread city. When the priest takes out a holy megaphone to call out after him, the stranger yells back: "Yeesh, shut up you old geezer! Just because I accidentally wrote some magic doesn't mean that I believe in fire demon fairytales. MunnDae, pshaw! What a buncha rubbish... amazing the people they hire as priests nowadays. I knew I should have turned to John Nightingale instead of some confessional booth for my legal worries. Hopefully, he'll still accept me at his estate..." Elsewhere, at a calm tree clearing near John Nightingale's estate... The early Monday blossums of the clearing sway gently in the evening breeze as Laura "Nighthowl" Harrison finishes her midnight snack: "Filet of Sean". Glaring down at the dead body while removing a remaining piece of intestine from her front fangs with a bloody claw, Laura growls in an angry manner: "Ugh, this kid tasted like garbage. Yuck, I mean like what did this freak eat for breakfast... green eggs and ham? Maybe a little bit of last night's leftover trash on the side? Blech! Shoot, it's victims like these that make me wish I ignored the lunar calender altogether and stuck to being a vegetarian." Laura suddenly stops mumbling to herself as she hears a snap of a twig from around the corner, and turns ferally as she senses another person approaching. Baring claw, tooth, and fur, she turns to her next potential victim, only to be met by a familiar visage. "Y-you?!" Laura pauses in shock as she notices the portly stranger behind the tree, dropping her ferocious guard and baring a striking ressemblence to a cute little puppy in the process. "Laura..." sighs the portly stranger, turning his sad eyes towards her and shedding a single tear. "You look strikingly attractive, as always. Your beauty is simply blinding." "Well..." mutters Laura softly, blushing from behind her fur and sticking her left pinky claw into her mouth out of embarassment. "You always did have kind of a fetish for wolves." "Laura..." tones the stranger once again, approaching her and placing his hands on her furry shoulders affectionatly. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am for what I did. I had no idea that I had written magic, and had even less of an idea that you'd read the scroll. Now, look what's become of you... I've unleashed a dark force upon the land." "Uhhh..." mutters Laura. "Well, actually..." "Ah yes!" exclaims the portly stranger, holding Laura tighter. "That was the exact way the incantation started, with an 'uhhh...' My meeting you here is by pure chance, Laura, for I came from dread city in search of the estate of John Nightingale, in the hopes of correcting my current legal status. People fear me, Laura, for they believe that I intentionally enchanted you with lycanthropy. But fear not, for I will have my name unsullied shortly." "Ummm..." starts Laura. "Well, there's something you should know..." "Do you frequent this area often, my darling?" interrupts the portly stranger again, brushing a loving hand through Laura's fur. "Why, it's so pleasant that I wonder how you ever find time to reach a state of rest! Oh fear not my darling, for with John Nightingale as my defendent, I shall overcome all odds and triumph." "Err, well..." growls Laura, ignoring the portly strangers somber expression and firmly continuing. "There's something you should know. The scroll I read actually had absolutely nothing to do with my lycanothropy. That actually came about from a one night stand... it was this guy that had this thing for biting shoulders in bed and, well, you don't need to hear the whole story." The portly stranger nods happily to this for a moment, then suddenly realizes what Laura said and drops his jaw in a dumbfounded state. "W-w-w-WHAT?! You mean to say that that scroll, a-and my accident... t-that your lycanothropy... a ONE NIGHT STAND?!! I trusted you, you bitch!" Laura sticks her snout up and "hmphs!," brushing her fur and muttering "I'll take the 'bitch' remark as a compliment." "B-b-but, if that had nothing to do with your lycanothropy, then what did the scroll do?" "I dunno" grumbles Laura. "Some sort of fire demon trick, I think." The portly stranger goes pale as he hears this, suddenly remembering the words that the venerable priest had spoken earlier. which he had dismissed as gibberish. The stranger smells the scent of sulfur and ash too late, however, as a flaming comet sent by MuunDae suddenly hurls in the direction of John Nightingale's abode. Laura and the stranger both stand stunned as the enormous ball of fire smites the entire Nightingale estate, covering them in an enormous inferno... The next night, at a cemetary near the area of the explosion... "I tell ya James..." whispers Earl as the two graverobbers make their way to the graves of the newest deseased. "These bodies'll pro'lly be filthy rich, I heard this stranger guy was portly!" James nods to this glumly, looking at his spade in a quizzical manner before turning to his associate. "So... should I start digging here?" "Yeah, and hurry it up already!" growls Earl. "Jeeze, I wonder how you ever became my partner sometimes. No common sense whatsoever." The two associates remain silent as James digs up the two graves, and Earl grins as he pries open the coffin labeled "Laura." Both graverobbers are disappointed, however, when they find very little on her smoldering corpse of ashes. "Well..." mutters James optimistically, smiling to Earl as he lifts a nightingale quill from the remains of Laura's digestive track. "At least we got this quill..." "Shaddap!" shouts Earl in a rage, dashing to the second coffin labeled "the portly stranger" and immediatly prying it open. Both James and Earl stare at the contents of the coffin in shock and awe. "Gee, that's mighty strange Earl." mutters James, casting a nervous glance towards his companion. "Isn't there supposed to be a corpse in there or something?" "Yes..." mutters Earl softly, wiping the sweat off of his pale brow and staring at the empty interior of the coffin. "Yes, there is." Epilogue... They say that, if you stare towards the sunset where the flaming mountain of MuunDae rests, you'll find a stranger standing atop a place that had previously been stricken by ancient scrolls and spades of people named Joseph. A place that no mortal man can rest... no mortal man that lacks resistance to fire, that is. If you squint, you may even be able to make out some of his features, and might remark what a portly appearence he has... Such is the legend of the portly stranger... the portly stranger named Merelas! Authors note: all references to wolf fetishes in this story are purely fictional. ;p

Alkinae stretches his roots over the length of the Recruiter's Office as he waits for Wyvern's arrival, scratching at the weeds that are starting to grow in his hair as he wonders where the overgrown lizard could be. It had been nearly fourty eight hours since he had placed his application on Wyvern's desk, and the infamous Elder had yet to show his scaly hide. The plant druid sighs as his vines coil tighter around his applicant easychair, and he contemplates how he could potentially be taking a cold sprinkler shower and sunbathing instead of sitting in the cramped and messy office. The annoyed applicants thoughts are interrupted, however, as Wyvern suddenly barges in through the Office entrance wearing a tattered gardening outfit. The reptilian Elder waves to Alkinae and immediatly rushes towards his desk, practically tripping over the applicants roots and dropping the Almost Dragonic Brand Rake™ he carries in the process. Seating himself at his desk and casting a grin of razor sharp teeth towards the plant-like entity, Wyvern immediatly takes out a small sack labeled "Danger: Bio-Hazard" and exclaims: "Greetings Alkinae, apologies for getting to your application late. Before I start looking it over, I was wondering if you might be interested in investing in some Almost Dragonic Brand Fertilizer™, which would be ideal for you when it comes to body-building! Almost Dragonic Brand Fertilizer™... made from only the finest of toxic waste. Errr, that is to say, only the finest of 100% natural toxic waste!" Alkinae gives Wyvern a cold stare, then quickly recedes his roots from all corners of the office as a silent response. The greedy Elder sighs upon seeing this, and quickly reads over Alkinae's application before hissing: "Sssssay, so you've got an affinity for plants eh? The Summer solistice is here and carnival dates are the current craze, so maybe you could take a risk and pair up with the Mighty Pen's very own Waterlily?" Alkinae frowns as Wyvern leers and casts a sinister stare towards him, then clears his throat and calmly responds: "No thanks. I can't be concerned with the little things, such as dating and Summer solistices." Wyvern scratches his scaly chiin in contemplation for a moment, and is about to respond when suddenly the main entrance of the Recruiter's Office opens again, this time with a forceful slam. Alkinae and Wyvern turn their heads, only to notice an old man standing at the entrance with a shotgun. Pointing a finger towards the plant druid and grimacing in a menacing manner, the old man wheezes: "You! Try to not pay yer bartab, will ye? Not significant enough for ye, is it? Well sonny boy, I took on after you on my trusty mule Bessy, with only my shotgun and a couple o' loafs of bread to eat. And now, I gotcher right where I wants ya! Better pay up for that cheap wine, boy." The old man turns his eyes from Alkinae to Wyvern for a moment, and they suddenly widen in surprise. Pointing the same finger towards the overgrown lizard, the old man coughs: "And you! I shoulda known you two were in cohoots! Why, if I had a penny for every time you've burnt down one of my bar locations by accident, I'd be a rich billionaire, I would! And ya kept comin back, you lil varmit. You never did pay me back any of that debt. I'll show you young whippersnappers!" With that, the old man cocks his shotgun and steps forward, only to accidentally place his foot on the metal end of the Almost Dragonic Brand Rake™ that Wyvern had dropped earlier. The wooden handle of the rake is propelled upward and slams the old man in the face, knocking him over and rendering him unconscious. The cheaply fabricated garden utensil then immediatly falls apart. "Well waddaya know..." mutters Wyvern in bewonderment, his eyes fixed on the immoble form of the bartender as he stamps Alkinae's application ACCEPTED. "Almost Dragonic Brand Rakes™ seem to be good for something after all!" ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Alkinae. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories, as well as participating with you in community events, starting with the recent carnival. ;-) Once again, welcome!

As Xanthus happily departs from the kissing booth and Zool vainly attempts to demonstrate his juggling act, Salinye notices Popku happily working his T-shirt stand at the booth next door. Gently poking Ayshela and pointing her towards the Moogle, the two girls giggle and grin at his misunderstanding in product placement, as well as the cute manner that he swings his antenna when he bounces up and down to advertise his T-shirts. Both Salinye and Ayshela smile for a long moment as they gaze at Popku, then suddenly pause as they notice that the active Moogle now has his eyes fixed on a corner of the street and is violently trembling. Salinye and Ayshela frown as they see the Moogle's fur turn a paler shade of white, and raise their brows when they see him quickly packing away his products. Popku swiftly jumps down and hides himself under his stand, a sign that reads "Not For Sale!" immediatly springing up from his booth. Ayshela and Salinye turn to one another just as a familiar almost dragonic hiss alerts them of the source of Popku's worries. "Ssssaaaalllliiiiinnnnnyyyyeeee" hisses Wyvern in an extremely sinister manner as he approaches the kissing booth, passing by Popku's stand and dismissing it as an abandoned booth. "And Ayyyyssssshhhhheeeeelllla, so nice to find you two beautiful ladies at such a fine booth." "Hey, don't forget about me." starts Zool from his portrait, only to be interrupted as Wyvern tosses a white sheet onto him for a bit of privacy. Clearing his throat of a few ashes and spraying some Almost Dragonic Brand Breath Freshener into his mouth, the overgrown lizard leans a scaly elbow on the counter of the booth and turns his eyes in Ayshela and Salinye's direction. "Well, I must say that you look absolutely delicious today." The reptilian Elder's forked tongue runs it's way over his lips. "I could lick you from head to toe, eat you right up... maybe even with a bit of whipping cream, hurr hurr hurrrr." Salinye and Ayshela turn to one another and tremble as Wyvern digs through his pockets for something, presumably geld to pay for two major kisses. Thinking quickly, the two girls unveil Zool's portrait and hold it in front of them as a kissing shield. Noticing his position, Zool frowns and quickly holds up his rubber chicken, who squacks frantically and proceeds to hold up a portrait of Zool holding up his rubber chicken. The four potential victims stand tensely as Wyvern finally retrieves what he had been searching for: a plastic spork. "It'sss a shame I don't have five geld on me, otherwise I'd be sure to participate." sighs Wyvern, turning to the leftover pie he had been eyeing earlier and dipping his spork into it. "Good thing it doesn't specify any cost for eating leftovers... say, I don't suppose one of you girls might have some whipping cream to eat with this?" ;-)

Four of the Elder dwarves stop Xanthus on his way to disappearing into the Pen's hidden chambers, immediatly halting him and directing him back to the Recruiter's Office. Shoving the applicant back into Wyvern's abode and thinking little of it, the Elder dwarves continue on their merry way, completely oblivious to Wyvern's scheming. "Well..." mutters Wyvern from his desk seat, casually pretending that he hadn't been flailing for handfuls of geld just a few minutes ago. "Listen Xanthus, are you going to write something up to help me get a pay raise from Ozymandias the Elder or not? I haven't got all day." "What?!" blurts Xanthus, now clearly aggravated. "B-b-but, I just slaved to come up with that entire poem, that entire geld spell, and that entire dance routine! And let's not forget the people I hired to watch th-" "Xanthus." interrupts Wyvern, raising a scaly claw to establish silence and yawning a little. "You understood my demands, right? I didn't ask for some geld, I asked for a pay raise from Ozymandias the Elder." "B-b-but" stammers Xanthus, pointing left and right. "You saw it, didn't you?! You saw all the geld that I created in the blink of an eye, how my pockets overflowed, how I-" "Yup." answers Wyvern, taking a short sip from the Decanter of Endless Booze and sighing. "But that's just geld, that's not a permenant pay raise. Besides, as colorful and vibrant as that display was, I didn't make a single copper off of it." Xanthus' jaw goes agape and he stares at Wyvern for a long moment, slowly moving his mouth back to its rightful position as a hateful expression overcomes his visage. Pointing an accusational finger at Wyvern, the angered applicant shouts: "They lied when they told me about the loopholes that the Elder of Initiates puts applicants through, he's far worse than that! He won't even accept Initiates when they comply to his demands. Well Mr. Wyvern, I'm leaving. Good day!" "I can't let you do that..." hisses Wyvern, stamping a scaly foot on the ground and causing the door to shut. Xanthus pauses for moment, as if unable to understand what Wyvern is saying. "WHAT?!!!!" "I can't let you leave." repeats Wyvern, lifting himself from his seat and grinning evilly. "I happen to be protesting for an increase in wages in this Office, and you're my applicant hostage. You're gonna have to live with it, bud." Xanthus simply stares at Wyvern in rage, opening his mouth but unable to speak anything. Carefully observing Xanthus' discontent, Wyvern scratches his scaly chin and hisses: "O.K, I'll tell ya what... since you're probably gonna be trapped in here for a very very very long time given the current status on raising my wages, I'll ACCEPT your application here in secret. But no telling anyone until my protest has succeeded, alright?" Xanthus continues staring at Wyvern in rage, opening his mouth to speak and raising a finger as Wyvern stamps his application piece ACCEPTED. "Say" hisses the lizard upon handing the ACCEPTED sheet back to Xanthus. "I don't suppose you have any snacks on you or anything? Haven't gone on my lunch break since I'm protesting, and I'm sorta hungry..." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Xanthus, welcome to the Mighty Pen. I look forward to reading more of your works, as well as participating with you in community events.

Those who have gathered around Salinye's flyer gape in fear as Wyvern exits the locked chamber courteousy of Xanthus' force. The overgrown lizard stands his ground as Xanthus dashes away, letting out a hideous gale of evil laughter and turning his eyes towards the flyer crowd. Ruby red flames seem to flow through Wyvern's pupils as he approaches the sign up sheet, speaking silent psalms of insatiable male lust and carnage... "You know, Wyvern..." starts William Azunost, taking a few steps back as the lizard approaches. "Errr... this sign up stuff would probably bore you. Wouldn't you rather stir up some mischief at the kissing booth that's been set up?" Wyvern suddenly pauses and ceases approaching. "Kissssing booth?" "Yeah." continues William. "Didn't you know? I mean, technically it's supposed to be a Zool kissing booth, but Ayshela and Salinye signed up as-" William turns his eyes to where Wyvern had previously been only to see a trail of smoke leading away from the sign up sheet towards the kissing booth. Breathing a sigh of relief, William raises his fists in a victory stance as the crowds cheer him on for saving the auction. ;-)

"It IS true!" cries Zool again, briefly flexing a muscle from his stool and watching in dismay as the staring crowds slowly begin to dissipate. The Ancient Master of Magic and Mischief sighs as several mumbles of disappointment echo throughout the Cabaret Room, and immediatly turns his attention to the Art Afficionado Monthly article that had started the whole rumor in the first place. "Strange..." mutters Zool while casually removing the maringue pie from his face and placing it on a convenient Salinye-painted serving plate. "I wonder how that rumor was sparked?" Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the quarters of the Pen. "Heya, heya!" exclaims Wyvern, adjusting the sunglasses that rest on his face along with the shady-looking bermuda vacation clothes he wears. The unskillfully-disguised lizard picks up several copies of bootleg DVDs from a cheap street stand that rests in front of him, and shouts: "Get yer bootleg adult DVDs, right here! And don't forget to check out that Summer sizzler "ZOOLander," not yet released in theatres and based on a true story! If harems, chickens, and Zool are your thing, it's finger-lickin good!" ;-p OOC: Hope you had a great one, Zoolio.

As several notable men of the Pen crowd around Salinye's flyer and apply for the intriguing bachelor position available, the Scantavia Brothers stand in front of a locked door that has been tightly sealed shut with several boards, locks and chains. Peredhil, Finnius, and Xaious turn their heads curiously as they notice the manner that the door is bulging and shaking, and cringe at the frantic expressions on the faces of the Scantavia Brothers as they exclaim: "Salinye! We can't hold him in very much longer, he seems exceptionally frisky and motivated today!" The other males that have gathered frown upon hearing this, considering what the potential hazard being blocked by the Scantavia Brothers could be. Their questions are answered when they notice the sign "WARNING: Potential Almost Dragonic Bachelor Auction Hazard. May evoke large negative donations of geld, let out only when time for announcements!" posted next to the door, and take two careful steps back as they notice that the hinges of the door are beginning to come undone. ;-)

Wyvern hisses curses under his breath as he tries to remove the chocolate that now covers him from head to toe, and lets out a dismal sigh as he notices the butterfly garmets that now adorn his form. Slumping in the hopes of avoiding the laughter that now surrounds him, the overgrown lizard decides that the situation simply can't get any worse... and is promptly proven wrong. "Hey baby." comes a smooth masculine voice from behind Wyvern. "What's your flavor?" Wyvern turns his chocolate-covered head in horror only to be met by the visage of the suave Prince that had previously kissed Salinye. "I like the whole chocolate and butterfly approach, it's kinky" says the Prince, clutching the horrified Wyvern in his arms and holding him closely. "Kinky and WILD, and I like wild." "W-w-w-wait" stammers Wyvern "Y-you're making a terrible mistake!" "Nonsense". says the Prince, pulling Wyvern closer still. "You're the one who's mistaken, baby. Why did you cover your pretty little face with chocolate? Here, let me clean it for you." With that, the Prince takes out a hankerchief that hosts an entire collection of different lipstick markings, catagorized by woman's name and color, and uses the clean part of it to clear off part of Wyvern's face. Upon noticing the overgrown lizard's scaly male visage, the Prince immediatly goes pale and starts croaking like a frog, swiftly letting the reptilian Elder go and retreating to the comforting-looking solace of Sorciere. The butterflies fly off of Wyvern's form in the process, though the chocolate-coating still remains. Sighing to himself, the overgrown lizard slowly turns to the buffet tables and starts to hobble towards them, deciding that he'd need a shot or two of sucker punch if he wanted to pretend to maintain his dignity for the remainder of the party. ----- "ma-ma-ma-ma-" Verteniun slaps his forehead once again and clenches his teeth as Daliarus heads out to the dancefloor with Yui-chan, watching as he stutters every step of the way. What had the buffoon gotten himself into this time?! The vernal equinox lunar eclipse was rapidly approaching, and there simply wasn't any time for this... "Crap." grumbles Verteniun, lifting himself from his seat and brushing off his tunic before quickly tying the laces of his shoes up extra tight. The only option that remained was to follow them to the dancefloor... "ma-ma-ma-ma" repeats Daliarus as he arrives at the dancefloor with Yui-chan "ma-my name, err, title... I mean... err, Dullyarus." "Dull Yarus?" repeats Yui quizzically as a relatively slow number by the Draconettes cues up in the background. "Y-y-yeah, I mean no, I mean I gotta go but I want to dance! Yes, lets dance. Definitely. Ummm, do you happen to know how to dance?" Daliarus glances at Yui sheepishly as Verteniun swiftly makes his way to dancefloor, hoping to intervene before the dance starts but cursing at his lack of choreography as he gets caught somewhere between a fawn and a high-elf girl with glow-in-the-dark earings. ---- Elsewhere, far away from the Pen's Conservatory, in an elegent yet dimly lit office... "Don Ikeelayunow." pleads a man standing next to an office desk. "Please, forgive my intrusion at this late and uncivilized hour of the evening." "Fuggedaboutit." mumbles a mouth filled with spaghetti from the other end of the desk, which is completely shaded in darkness. "I don'ts got all evening, so speak." "I ask of you a favour, O great Don Ikeelayunow." continues the man, kneeling down and kissing the Don's spaghetti covered pinky ring. "I have always served you and have always spoke the name of the Ikeelayunow family with the highest regard. Now, I have a vendetta that needs to be settled." "Don Ikeelayunow circles his hand in the air a few times from his shaded position. "Please, continue." "My youngest son, Little Jimmy Bashawitzstien, had his bar mitzvah recently..." The man produces a photo of Little Jimmy as Don Ikeelayunow nods silently from his position. "... the entertainer, a famous celebrity by the name of Orlan, was supposed to show up and play the part of Lord of All, King of Destruction, and Master of Malice. He never showed up, and as a result the Bashawitzstien name has been disgraced. " The man clenches his fist. "I'd like to see him pay." "I'll see what I can do." mumbles Don Ikeelayunow. "Wacking him is outta the question, since he's a famous celeb... but we can try to humiliate him for you, in order to reclaim the Bashawitzstien honor." "Oh thank you Don Ikeelayunow!" cries the man happily, kissing the Don's pinky ring over and over again. "Thank you so much!" "Yeah yeah..." mutters Ikeelayunow, picking up a phone from the shady position at his desk. "Now geddouttahere, ya bum. Hey, hey Larry? Yeah, this is the Don... listen, we gots some humiliatin that needs to get done..."

Wyvern staggers into Cabaret Room and humbly bows to all of those that are present, as well as to all of the presents, which have been neatly gathered into a single pile. Taking out a small list and scratching his scaley chin, the overgrown lizard quickly nails up a sign that reads "Belated Almost Dragonic Brand Creative Birthday Responses, Volume One." The overgrown lizard then takes out a projector and several rolls of film, and begins playing them on the span of a nearby wall... A blank screen is projected for a moment. Then, the following words appear: "The following preview has been rated 'G,' for Generations Late. All audiences can view this preview and see Wyvern's extremely belated creative response to Wrenwind's birthday thread, as he had promised her one eventually." The projection shows static for a moment, then the black and white image of a woman standing in a field of low budget Almost Dragonic Brand Poppy flower props appears. The camera zooms in to the face of the woman to reveal that of Wrenwind, with fresh tear eyedrops dabbed below her eyes courteousy of Wyvern's Fake Tear Tissue. Wrenwind's mouth moves for a moment, then the screen switches to a box of dialogue: "X-Xaious, what are you doing here?" The screen cuts from the dialogue box to the stern figure of Xaious the Master of Time, now standing beside Wrenwind in the fields. The camera zooms into his face to reveal more freshly dabbed tears, and his mouth moves for a moment. Another dialogue box then appears: "Oh Wrenwind... I went back in time to cheesy silent black and white movies just to be with you! Won't you be mine?" An extremely outdated dramatic musical score cues up in the background as Wrenwinds lips move and another dialogue box appears: "I'm sorry, Xaious, but my heart belongs to another." The screen switches to a scene in which Psimon is seen being kidnapped by pirates, chased by fire breathing dragons, and terrorized by zombies and vampires. In his hands, throughout the entire ordeal, he holds a fresh bouquet of poppies. The screen then darkens and the dramatic outdated music grows louder as the title of the film appears: "Gone With the Wrenwind" ----- The screen goes blank again for a moment, then another preview begins playing: "The following preview has been rated PG, for Pretty Goddang late. Some audiences can view this preview for a belated response to Canid's birthday thread" The screen switches to an image of an owl's nest, the shot now in color and with sound. The owl in the nest turns its head to the camera, only to hoot in shock and fall straight out of its resting place. The screen then switches to the image of a deer next to its mother. cradling its head against her chest warmly. The deer and the mother both turn their heads to the camera, and immediatly run away in shock upon seeing it. The screen cuts to another image, this one of two alligators in a moat, hungrily feasting upon a careless human tourist. Turning their eyes to the camera, the alligators quickly duck their heads under the water. The screen cuts to a final image, this one of a member of the Canadian NDP political party with the head of a cobra plotting some bribes, who quickly slithers away upon seeing the camera. The title of the film is displayed in block letters on the screen: "Canid Camera" ----- The screen goes blank for a moment, then another preview starts up: "The following preview has been rated R, for Really Late. Viewers may see a belated response to Gyrfalcons birthday thread, but parental discretion is strongly advised." The screen goes dark as a gravly announcer voice cues up. "From the maker of 'Gyrfalcon the Movie' and 'Why Katzaniel should Devote her Affections to Wyvern' comes a new thriller... so scary..." Cuts to a quick flash of a man running through a dark alley. "You'll be holding onto your geld." Another quick flash of an image of the running man, this time cued up along with a gasp for "HELP!" "So frightening..." Flashes to image of the running man. This time, we see that he's a half-elf and that he's running away from the paparazzi. "... you'll wish you'd have stayed home and not seen it." Extremely fast-paced suspense music cues up as the names of the actors flash by at an alarming rate: "GyrfalconNoDessu,Racouol,Cheyenne,lumpenproletariat,P51mus Peredhil31,Immortalis,Ozymandias,Zool'srubberchicken, andWyvernin..." *Cue shrieks of horror in the background, followed by the terrified exclamation "What do you mean we don't have a script?! AaaaaAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEE!!"* "The Making of Gyrfalcon the Movie" ----- The screen goes blank yet again, and then a final preview cues up: "This preview has been rated NC-17, for Not Completely Late Through at Least 17 Minutes Behind Schedule. No viewers under 17 minutes late are allowed to view this response to Zools birthday thread. WARNING: add contains excessive rubber chickens and hair pieces, parental discretion is strongly advised." 70s funk music cues up as the image of Zool walking down a crowded avenue in a purple body suite appears, his toupee resting on the opening of the suite to mimick chest hair. The screen flashes the words "Steamy Action!" The image of Zool standing next to a steaming tea kettle flashes by. "Hot Drama!" The same image of Zool next to a steaming tea kettle flashes by, only this time he touches the tea kettle and burns his hand. "And some of the Wildest Love Makin You've Ever Seen!" The image of Zool's Toupee making out with an afro toupee at a convenience store flashes by. From behind a corner of a convenience store shelf, Zool's rubber chicken watches the scene as it transpires, clucking to himself lustfully. The title of the film speeds by just as the rubber chicken lets out a "BuckAAA!" "ZOOLander"

I also really like this poem, Zool. As others have noted, it has a very romantic feel to it, and seems to touch upon a kind of sublime love. My personal favorite stanza of the poem is the third stanza, as I found the line "caress her magic constellations" a very original detail. In terms of potential improvements: when reading the third stanza, I continouosly feel like replacing "releasing" with "release," as that might maintain the rhythm of the stanza a bit better. Nice work.

I really like this poem, Justin, regardless of how little thought you claim you put into it. ;-) I particularly like the way that the structure of the first stanza compliments the tone of the poem, as the manner that it slowly stretches out and repeats itself seems to reflect the "Summer schedule" referred to in the third stanza. I also really like the interesting rhyme scheme of the third stanza, as the manner that the sixth line rhymes with the third and the fourth line only to be cut off by "but" was a very interesting touch. Very good poem, and great to see you writing again Justin. I look forward to more of your stuff.

HolyChaos Through the door strides a figure dressed entirely in black. Mist swirls around his feet, and a dark cloak hung from his shoulders. HolyChaos, maro-necromancer inquires "Am I late" gazing around at the drunken faces, he answered his own question "I guess so" A drunken mage staggers up to him and asks "hey man, where yo date at?" "date? hey I have a box of them in my pocket." *offers everyone a date* ------------------ - HolyChaos - Maro-Necromancer of Terra - Blessing be upon you, and may you live and die in peace - Proud MODERATOR of the Celtic Warrior boards HolyChaos@Hotmail.com --- [Archiver's Note: thread ended here.]

Cryllia Cryllia waves to Wyvern, fashionably late, as always (somebody has to take up the, ahem, put down the slack for brute!). She is dressed in a stunning deep green dress, and is letting her hair hang down for once. She hopes she isn't too late? *also testing siggy *

Knight OOC: Seems like we've forgotten Dear old brute.. can't do that folks! NOT AT ALL! ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Ich hat eine Kameraden; bessern findst du nicht- Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find. Vice president of the official Mr. Bunny Fan club "..." - Mr. Bunny Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time.

Tiax "Well knight, my posting is likely to increase in the near future."

Gyrfalcon Well, time for my little speech.... Brute- well, we never really meet, since you frequented different boards from me, however, I wish you the best and I hope you come back soon. Cheyenne- Good luck in your new job, and remember that the point of a game is to have fun. Wyvern- buddy, friend, pal, let me at that decanter for a second.... Gyrfalcon is suddenly pulled away from the podium by the faerie music, which requires him to go and watch the dancing. (only the part of him that is human prevents him from dancing dispite a lack of a partner)

Knight Oh, thank you then Lady Yui. I was beginning to wonder. ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Leader of Non-alligned- Archspace Ich hat eine Kameraden; bessern findst du nicht- Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find.

Yui Temae Yui smiles amusedly, sipping from a lovely china teacup (which she's already checked for any signs of errant alcohol). Her green eyes light with teasing as she looks at Knight after his bewildered question. "Sir Knight, I believe we are all just left in a silent stupor from the charm and grace of your and the lovely Lady Amber's dancing. Perhaps something with a bit more spirit would revive the drunken hoards of my friends' associates." She turns with a wink to where Cheyenne and Brute lounge at a nearby table, then wanders over to the minstrels in the corner. At a short whisper in the lead's ear, the short elf in a tailed tuxedo nods and flashes a smile. Within moments, the hall fills with a flighty melody from the Faerie kingdom. Soon, those mages still coordinated enough to dance without falling over are flocking to the dance floor.

HolyChaos Into the party strides HolyChaos, Maro-necromancer. Dark mist swirls around him, and the black cloak is wrapped tightly about him. ------------------ - HolyChaos - Maro-Necromancer of Terra - Blessing be upon you, and may you live and die in peace - Proud member of the Celtic Warriors HolyChaos@Hotmail.com

Knight Wow, the party's starting to die down. It looks like almost everyone got drunk, and is passed out? What the heck? ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Leader of Non-alligned- Archspace Ich hat eine Kameraden; bessern findst du nicht- Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find.

Knight Okay. Sorry. It looks like you could do with one of my cards. *Tosses Seraph a card from his female friend section at random* Good luck. ------------------ Initiate - Mages of Forgetten Wars- Blitz II Blood Warrior of Souls- Army of Darkness Leader of Non-alligned- Archspace Ich hat eine Kameraden; bessern findst du nicht- Once I had a comrade; a better one you could not find.

Seraph Cat's history. F O R G E T --- H E R. ------------------ -Seraph- Champion of the Host Foremost in the council of Thrones. 5th among the Brethren.