Wyvern

- 12:00 PM - Carbone straightens her fur and hisses as she notices Wyvern approaching her masters Cafe with Yui-chan, quickly darting behind a corner and silently watching as the overgrown lizard leads the huntress into the dining quarters of Celes Crusadors quaint restaurant. Yui and Wyvern seat themselves at opposite ends of a small wooden table and pick up their respective menus, looking over them briefly before Arielle wanders out in a waitress outfit to take their orders. "Celes Crusador is out for the day, so I'm taking her place." chimes Arielle happily, whipping out a small notepad and grinning. "What can I get for you today?" "I'll get a-" blurts Wyvern before suddenly going quiet as Arielle casts him an angry glance. "Oh, right... ladies first huh. Yui?" "I think I'll have the chicken strip filet sandwich on rye, lightly toasted, with a small salad on the side." says Yui softly, smiling as she hands her menu to Arielle. "And please hold any condiments that you think are unnescessary." Arielle smiles and nods, jotting down the order before turning to Wyvern and muttering. "And what will you have, sir?" "Well..." hisses Wyvern, shutting the menu and tossing it over his shoulder. "I think I'll make a special order for a custom sandwich. I'd like a peanut butter and molasses sandwich with anchovies on wonder bread, topped with a mountain of whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. I'd also like a side order of curly onion cheese doodles with a bucket of grease to dip them into, and a lobster bib to stay clean. Oh, and if you have any, could you get some Nanotoknonnen-O Krispy Treats for the table?" Arielles facial color turns a shade of green as she finishes jotting down Wyverns requests, and the waitress shakes her head in disgust as she heads off to get the orders. Yui stares across the table blankly, silently observing as Wyvern kicks his scaly feet onto the table top and exclaims: "Well, this has been a pleasant day so far, hasn't it? Y'know, I bet that none of the other ladies got to go site-seeing on their dates." "Actually." mutters Yui, moving a hand towards Wyverns feet and gradually pushing them off of the table. "Xaious took Ayshela to see the Sistine Chapel when they went out dating." Wyvern snorts haughtily to this, whipping out the Decanter of Endless Booze and taking a sip before grumbling: "Bah! Who wants to see some old, outdated church anyway? Care for a sip?" "No thank you." says Yui, holding up a hand and politely declining the dirty Decanter. "And for your information, Xaious actually went back in time to take Ayshela to the Chapel while it was still being painted by Michealangelo." Wyvern goes silent for a moment upon hearing this, slowly putting the Decanter away as he grumbles: "Eh, who wants to see a legendary painter in action when you can see a legendary idler out of action right around the outskirts of the Pen, right...?" Yui decides to stay silent and not answer this question as Arielle arrives at the table with two trays. The waitress kindly passes Yui her chicken strip filet sandwich, as well as her small salad on a seperate plate. She then turns to Wyvern and frowns, crossing her arms over her chest and lowly mumbling: "It seems that we're all out of peanut butter and molasses sandwichs today, Mr. Wyvern. However, looking over your financial record with the Cafe and the numerous distasters that you've caused within it, I've arranged it with Lady Celes Crusador so that you can have a free club sandwich, on the house." Wyvern frowns slightly and contemplates this statement as Arielle pulls out a large wooden club that rests between two tiny slices of bread, cringing as she proceeds to clobber him over the head with it. Fuming angrily and pushing the overgrown lizard in the direction of the door, Arielle points and growls: "Get out." "Awww, can't I at least have my curly onion chee-" "GET OUT!" exclaims Arielle, raising the club once again and glaring at the lizard angrily. Wyvern bites his lip and quickly signals to Yui that he'll be waiting outside the door before dashing out of the Cafe as fast as his scaly legs can carry him. Arielle breaths a sigh of relief as Wyvern exits, and drops the club as she smiles towards Yui-chan and cheerfully mutters: "Enjoy your meal, ma'am." Yui sits quietly for a moment, then sighs and lifts herself from her seat, picking up her sandwich and wrapping it in a napkin to go. Nodding to Arielle and thanking her for her service, the huntress wanders out of the Cafe and immediatly turns towards the hobbling form of Wyvern, who seems to be rubbing his head in a pain and leaning back and forth. Yui taps her foot on the ground for a moment, then shakes her head and sighs before breaking off a piece of her sandwich and offering it to the lizard. "Here Wyv... have a piece." Wyvern stops rubbing his head upon hearing this, and breaks into a smile as he turns his head towards Yui and notices the piece of sandwich she's offering. Slowly lifting himself to his feet and brushing the dirt off of his Hawaiin shirt, the overgrown lizard shakes his head and hisses: "No thanks, you can have it, I'll be fine... I had a large fruit breakfast, after all. C'mon, let's go see if any new booths have opened up at the solistice carnival." Yui raises a brow as Wyvern motions to her to follow him, and begins nibbling on her sandwich as she paces alongside him. "Are you sure you don't want any?" "Positive." hisses the lizard happily, winking towards Yui. "I'm sure there'll be plenty of other opportunities to eat anyway... we still have a long day ahead of us, after all!"

- 11:30 AM - Wyvern and Yui walk away from the cottage of the Pen Elder Dwarves faster than they had walked towards it, a bit edgy about the accident that had occured within and not wanting to risk any more almost dragonic catastrophes. The two Elders wander through the courtyards again until they eventually arrive at the front entrance of the Pen Keep, this time managing to avoid all detours along the way. Wyvern grins as he takes Yui by the hand and leads her into the familiar halls, turning his head towards her as they walk down the central corridor and hissing: "I think it'sss about time I picked up that sandwich I promised you... and when it comes to sandwiches, there's obviously only one place in the Pen to turn to." Yui raises a brow upon hearing this, silently praying that the overgrown lizard is referring to Celes Crusadors Cafe and not the nearest trash can. She is about to ask the reptilian Elder which place he has in mind when she suddenly notices that he's come to a complete halt, and is staring in a nervous manner at a post-it note stuck on a nearby doorway. "Wyvern?" mutters Yui softly, turning her attention to the door that the lizard is focussing on and paling slightly as she notices that it's the door leading into his Office. "Is something wrong? Celes Crusadors' Cafe is this way-" "Sorry Yui." interrupts Wyvern, frowning slightly as he turns to her with anxiety written over his visage. "I actually have to drop into my Office to run a quick errand, since I forgot to send Ozymandias my daily threat letter, which details how I'll continue to keep Xanthus locked away until he raises my wages. While I'm in there, I might want to dig up a change of clothes as well, since these black colors have outlived there purpose. You like me better in Hawaiin styles anyway, right?" "W-well." mutters Yui, slowly taking a step back from area of the Office. "Yeah, sort of." "Great, then you'll come in with me for a moment? We won't be long." Yui bites her lip slightly and hesitates, not particularly fond of the notion of entering one of the most hazardous areas of the Pen, but not wanting to come across as a stingy date either. "I guess." she mumbles softly. "If we're only there for a moment." Wyverns face relaxes slightly as he hears this response, and he flashes Yui a bright grin of razor sharp teeth as he digs through his black backpack and pulls out two hardhat construction helmets. Passing one of the helmets to Yui and fastening the other over his head, the reptilian Elder hisses: "It's slightly messy in there, so you might want to wear this. Don't worry, just stick near me and you should be fine." Yui shuts her eyes and lets out a frustrated sigh as she fastens the helmet over her head, quietly bracing herself as she follows her reptilian date to the door of his Office. Wyvern pauses for a moment as he reaches the door, sensing something unusual as he turns the doornob with a claw and carefully leads Yui into the oceans of paperwork within. No sooner have the two entered the danger zone of the Office than a volley of razor sharp paper airplanes sails by them at full speed, very narrowly missing them and dangerously speeding by. Turning towards the source of the airplanes, Wyvern and Yui notice Melba seated beside her desk, wielding an Olympic Airplane Catapult and shaking a fist at Wyvern. Noticing Yui standing next to Wyvern, the Almost Secretary of Initiates immediatly drops her weapon and clasps her hands over her mouth in shock, running towards the Elder of Shadows and shoving Wyvern to the side in order to make sure she's alright. "Ms. Temae!" wails the obese secretary, brushing off Yui's cloak and making sure the Elder doesn't have any cuts. "I'm so very sorry, I didn't see you enter with that lazy bum of a lizard. You're alright, I hope?" "Yes..." mutters Yui back, casting a worried glance at the airplanes that now rest embedded in the wall behind her. "I'm fine." Melba breaths a deep sigh of relief upon hearing this, then scowls at Wyvern and shakes a furious fist at him. "You reptilian idiot, what are you doing dragging innocent Ms. Temae into your hellhole of an Office? Don't tell me you're trying to involve her in one of your schemes?! When I find my mallet-" "Actually Melba." interrupts Wyvern, a hint of glee present in his voice as he begins searching for his letter and Hawaiin clothing amongst the countless Office piles. "Yui and I happen to be on a date." Melba pauses upon hearing this, her expression going blank as she points at the lizard and exclaims to Yui: "I knew it! I knew that it was also a matter of time before that corrupt lizards schemes would make him fully delusional... as if he weren't already delusional enough! If you'd like, Yui, I can wreak vengence upon him for saying such outlandish things." "Well, actually Melba." mutters Yui, fiddling with a strand of her blond hair. "Wyvern's statement is sort of true... I won him in an auction." The Almost Secretary of Initiates stares at Yui in disbelief as Wyvern signals that he's found what he was looking for, and disappears behind a large stack of paperwork in order to change clothes. "Y-you poor thing... is it even possible to "win" Wyvern? Who forced you to do it? He hasn't hypnotized you has he?" Yui stops fiddling with her hair, and smiles slightly as she shakes her head. "No, the purchase was of my own accord." Melba shakes her head in disbelief and stares at Yui oddly, patting a chubby hand on her shoulder and moving in closer as she says: "Well, I don't know what you see in him, but take my advice and keep your wits about you at all costs. Who knows what manners he might want to take advantage of you... If you ask me, you should have demanded that they auction off Brute and bidded for him, since that would be a real date. That hunk of a man has got guts... and honey, I'm not just referring to his beer belly." Yui raises a brow and smirks to this last whispered statement as Wyvern steps back out from his makeshift changing quarters, now dressed in a colorful Hawaiin shirt and bermuda shorts. Nodding to Yui happily and taking her by the arm, Wyvern turns to stick his forked tongue out at Melba before they exit the room and commence their walk towards Celes Crusadors Cafe.

- 10:00 AM - The Sun begins shining brightly in the sky as Yui and Wyvern finally catch their breaths and let the last of their fears dissipate into the light morning breeze. They lift themselves to their feet and brush the last remaining hints of rampant plant life from their respective attires, turning and nodding to one another as they partake in a few more giggles of disbelief. After a short moment of laughter, they slowly begin walking through the Pen's courtyards again, taking in the sunlight and moving steadily towards the central Pen Keep. "So Yui" hisses Wyvern uncertainly, waving his tail at a lower angle than usual as he walks. "We have an entire day ahead of us, and there're plenty of options to choose from... is there anything you feel like doing in particular?" "Hmm." mutters Yui while flicking a bramble that she had missed off of the edge of her cloak. "Perhaps something a little more calm, that doesn't involve security break-ins, lingerie, and exploding suicide pumpkins?" Wyvern slowly nods and scratches his scaly chin for a moment, having serious difficulty coming up with an activity that doesn't involve one of those three things. The overgrown lizard weighs his options for around ten minutes, then comes to an abrupt halt and snaps a scaly finger as an idea hits him, quickly turning to Yui-chan and hissing: "Actually, I know an activity that fits that description quite well. There's a lesser known site-seeing area near the Pen Keep that offers what one could arguably call 'The First Half Wonder of the World...' although I guess the 'World' in this scenario would be referring to the outskirts of the Mighty Pen Keep." Yui frowns slightly upon hearing this, hesitating as she watches the overgrown lizard change his course from the Pen Keep to another area of the courtyard outdoors. She walks beside him cautiously as they pass through several plains of grass until they come to an old dirt road, which leads to a small wooden cottage that rests nestled within a tiny forest of pine trees. The two Elders walk down the trail and through the trees until they arrive at the front door of the house, at which point Wyvern begins speedily digging through his pockets for something. "Is this it?" mutters Yui, somewhat disappointed as she examines the quaint cottages dirty windows and smoking chiminey. "Not yet, the 'First Half Wonder' is inside." explains Wyvern, digging his claws deeper into his pockets until he eventually pulls out a small key labeled "Property of Greedy." Turning his head to Yui and winking in a sinister manner, Wyvern quietly hisses: "Please don't tell anyone you saw me using this. I snatched it from Greedy the Elder Dwarf when he wasn't looking, and he still doesn't realize that it's missing. Honestly, there are times when I wonder where that Dwarf inherited his penchant for losing things..." Yui barely manages to hold in a giggle upon hearing this contemplation, and patiently watches as Wyvern inserts the key into the door and unlocks it. She hesitates slightly as the lizard motions for her to enter, tapping her foot on the ground until she finally sighs: "Fine, I'll enter. But you realize that since you stole the key, this would technically be considered breaking in again?" "Nonsense." mutters the lizard as he directs Yui through the small doorway and quietly shuts it behind him. "The Elder Dwarves wouldn't mind us entering their humble abode... they're forever indebted to me for hiring them, after all." Yui smirks at Wyverns bloated ego, then curiously glances around the tiny entrance hall of the cottage, particularly noticing the low ceilings and tiny doorways of the hut. "Follow me." hisses Wyvern softly, ducking down and motioning with his hand as he steps through a doorway on the right. "The First Half Wonder of the World is this way. And watch your head, since the doorways are pretty small." Yui pauses for a brief moment, then quietly nods and follows behind the lizard, carefully using his tail as a directional guide. They pass down a small hallway and through a tiny kitchen until they eventually arrive at an incredibly messy-looking living room. Candywrappers, empty cartons of take-out cuisine, used tissues, and old television guides lay gathered around a single couch positioned in front of a glaring television set. On top of the couch sits an Elder Dwarf wearing a stained "I'm a Procrastinator" T-shirt, munching on popcorn as his eyes stay glued to the set. "Behold, Yui" hisses Wyvern in a delighted manner, waving a scaly claw in the air and practically knocking over a tiny vase in the process. "The First Half Wonder of the World: Idly the Elder Dwarf! The only living being capable of surviving off of tiny hand motions, microwavable foods, and daily sitcoms alone. We can only marvel at his, errr... his heightened sense of relaxation!" "It looks almost as messy as your office." says Yui in a half-whisper, taking half a step back and bumping a drawer slightly due to the cramped space of the hall. "Hey..." snickers Wyvern, turning his head to Yui and flashing a mischievous grin. "Do you want to see if we can make him move his head, or maybe even lift his hand?" "Umm, no." mutters Yui nervously, watching as Wyvern steps into the messy living room and staying where she is. "No. We said this was going to be calm, remember?" "It will be." hisses Wyvern back in as reassuring a tone as he can muster, wading through piles of garbage as he slowly approaches the couch. "I mean it's not like he's going to jump out of his seat and-" Yui cringes from her position in the hallway as Wyvern trips over a hidden pile of used T.V guides, and slaps a hand over her eyes as the overgrown lizard sails straight into a drawer of clothes, knocking it over and spilling articles of clothing everywhere. Idly the Elder Dwarf doesn't budge, but rather reaches for his remote and flips the channel, mistaking the noise in the background for television static. Yui-chan watches glumly as Wyvern lifts himself from the area of the drawer, covered from head to toe in Dwarf undergarmets, and frowns as a pumpkin promptly explodes on the television program that Idly is now watching. Wandering back towards Yui in a shameful manner, Wyvern mumbles "erm, sorry" under his breath before brushing the undergarmets off of his form and wandering back towards the entrance of the cottage.

I like the story so far, Salinye. It's interesting to read the background of Madame Quixotic as well as the origins of the Scantavia brothers, as it's slowly developing their characters and giving us some insight into how the enigmatic trio got to where they are now. I particularly liked the interactions between Ivahna and Herick near the end, as I think they show Ivahnas up-start personality quite well. There's one thing that you might want to focus on in editting the story, which is the tense of the story when it switches from its initial course to the earlier story of Elisria. You may want to consider writing that segment in a Past Perfect tense (i.e "had entered") instead of the past tense that the rest of the story is written in, as it might help to seperate the flashback and backstory of Elisria from the rest of the piece. I look forward to reading more of this history.

- 8:00 AM - As the Sun continues lazily rising over the hills East of the Pen, two shady silouhettes sit crouched behind a large tree near the gardens of the keep, staring at the rising sun as they rest in an uncomfortable silence. One silhouette rubs a claw over the red marking of a hand plastered on his scaly visage, while the other fiddles with a large blade of grass in an irritated yet elegent manner. "Yui" mutters Wyvern apologetically, his face still aching from the slap and his tail fidgeting nervously on the ground. "I'm really sorry, once again. You'll say something to me, won't you? We've been sitting here quietly for quite a while now, and it's making me kinda nervous." Yui ceases fiddling with the piece of grass and murmers something under her breath, shifting in her position and continuing to stare at the rising Sun in silence. "I mean, look on the bright side of things." continues Wyvern, scooting an inch closer Yui only to watch her scoot an inch further away from him. "We weren't caught by the bouncers, right? And hey, if you don't want those undergarmets I picked up by accident, I'll gladly take them myself." Wyvern bites his lip as Yui freezes for a moment in order to seeth, casting another angry glance towards Wyvern before refocussing her attention on the sunrise. The overgrown lizard whimpers as silence continues to envelope the clearing, until finally the fragile aura is shattered as Yui catches the scent of vanilla again, causing her stomach to involuntarily emit a low growl. Wyvern immediatly jumps to his feet upon hearing this, pointing to Yui and exclaiming: "AhHA! You're hungry, aren't you? Nothing like a nice, big breakfast to lighten moods and make up for previous mistakes! Let's go Yui, it'll be my treat." "Err, I-" starts Yui, having little time to react as her hand is grabbed by Wyvern and she's quickly pulled up from her resting spot. Wyvern speedily directs her through the gardens of the Pen, passing by Waterlily's Den and several flower clearings while he vibrantly exclaims: "Ooohhhh you're going to love this place, Yui. It's a highly underrated eating spot that's located right near the Pen, and serves a healthy variety of delicious fruits and vegetables to munch on." Yui smiles a little and begins prancing alongside Wyvern rather than being pulled along reluctantly. The reptilian Elder's enthusiasm made it hard to stay mad at him for very long... "So a vegetarian place then?" asks Yui brightly. "Absolutely." hisses Wyvern. "And the atmosphere is great, plus it's very inexpensive... in fact, if you're lucky, you don't have to pay anything at all for it." Yui frowns upon hearing the last part of the restaurant description, and raises a brow as Wyvern halts upon arriving at the area surrounding Gwaihirs enormous greenhouse. Staring at the glass walls of the building, Yui hesitantly takes a step back as Wyvern grins and motions to her. "Quick, follow me." hisses Wyvern in a low whisper, grabbing Yui's hand once again as he whisks her off to a corner of one of the glass walls, which rests next to a large ivy bush. Glancing left and right to make sure that noone except Yui is watching, Wyvern reaches out and tilts a loose pane of glass next to the bush upward, thereby creating a secret entrance to the greenhouse. "Ladies first." hisses Wyvern as he bows and waves a hand towards the lifted pane the hopes of letting Yui inside. The huntress frowns and hesitates for a moment, glancing at the lifted pane and then at Wyvern before rolling her eyes and quietly stepping inside, immediatly becoming engulfed in the humidity of the plant life within. Wyvern follows right behind Yui, carefully lowering the glass after he steps inside and quickly directing her to a series of bushes. "Wait till you taste this stuff." hisses Wyvern as he carefully plucks two peaches off of a bush and hands one of them to Yui. "They're delicious. I've always wondered why Gwaihir doesn't sell the fruits he grows to the Pen Keep... he could make a killing." "Wyvern." mutters Yui cautiously, fidgeting with the peach in her hand and hesitating to take a bite out of it. "Wouldn't this be considered forbidden fruit? I don't think that Gwaihir would really appreciate us eating it." "Nonsense." mumbles Wyvern, already finished with his second peach and moving onto a pear. "Gwaihir would be fine with this, I'm sure he's overstocked on fruit anyway. Now that you mention it, though, I must say that this place bares a striking ressemblence to the Garden of Eden. Say... since we've already picked the 'forbidden fruit,' I don't suppose you'd be interested in engaging in the rest of Adam and Eve's activi-" "No." interrupts Yui firmly, casting an angry glance at Wyvern as he raises his hands in a defensive manner and winces. "And if picking fruit from here is acceptable behaviour, then why did we use a secret entrance to get in?" "Ummm" mutters Wyvern nervously as he spits out a few cherry pits and moves on to pick an orange. "Because it was more romantic...? Awww come on Yui, at least try that peach I picked for you. You know you want to taste it at heart." Yui stares down at the peach in her hand for a moment and lets out a short sigh, shrugging a little as she lifts it to her mouth to taste it. Taking a bite out of the fruit, the huntress is pleasantly surprised by how sweet and refreshing it is "Pretty good, huh?" mutters Wyvern, a cemetary of fruit rinds resting at his scaly feet as moves towards his fourty third meal target. Yui smiles a little and silently nods in response, taking another bite of the peach and thoroughly enjoying its taste. "Here." mumbles Wyvern, picking an apple off of a bush and handing it to Yui. "Take this to add a little variety to your meal, it's really good." Yui nods and gracefully accepts the apple, only to glance down at it and notice that a large black spider is resting on top of it. Wyvern practically hits the ceiling as Yui shrieks loudly and drops the apple in spite of herself, tripping as he lands from his scare and careening towards one of the glass walls of the room. Yui clasps her hands over her mouth and cringes as Wyvern crashes into the wall with his head, embedding his horns into it and setting off several blaring security alarms in the process. Wiggly cabbages begins bouncing left and right, alerting each other of intruders as security vines begins crawling towards the area in the hopes of entangling the guilty party. Yui frantically glances left and right, then shouts to Wyvern: "Wyv, let's go! We have to get out of here!" "I can't!" cries Wyvern back, struggling to dislodge his horns from the glass as several vines move dangerously close to his scaly legs. "I'm stuck!" Yui shakes her head in disbelief, then quickly runs to help the almost dragon out, dashing towards him just as a suicide security pumpkin crashes near the area where she had previously standed. Clenching her teeth and grabbing onto the scales on the back of the overgrown lizards head, she pulls with all her might just as Wyvern pushes against the glass, and manages to free the lizard from his entrapment. The glass pane that Wyverns horns had been stuck on crashes and collapses after his horns been dislodged, which causes seven more security alarms to go off. Wyvern and Yui turn to each other and grimace, then quickly escape through the newly formed exit just as a mob of aggravated plants rushes towards them. The odd couple races away from the greenhouse as fast as their legs can carry them, thankful that the security plants are unable to exit their designated quarters as they fall out of view. After sprinting through the gardens for several minutes, Wyvern and Yui arrive at a clearing that's a safe distance from Gwaihirs greenhouse, and pause in their tracks to catch their breath. As they rest, they turn to one another with wide, frantic eyes and stare at each other for a long moment, until Wyvern finally mutters: "I- *gasp* I-I'll get you a- *pant* I'll get you a sandwich later, O.K?" Wyvern bites his lip as he says this, afraid that Yui might decide to call off the date after the greenhouse disaster. He's more-than-a-little surprised when the huntress begins smiling, shaking her head back and forth and finding herself unable to contain a giggle. Wyvern starts shaking his head in this manner and giggling as well, and soon the two of them are practically rolling on the ground with laughter.

- 6:30 AM - Wyvern brushes the last of the brambles and thorns from his dark tunic, shaking a fist in the direction of the nearby window that Carbone had escaped through and grumbling to himself glumly. Leaning back against the tree he had fallen from and jingling a few silver pieces in his pocket, the overgrown lizard perks up and grins as Yui quietly exits from her quarters, sporting her usual ebon cloak and tunic combo. Noticing Wyvern standing by the tree, Yui looks the reptilian Elder over from head to toe in a mixture of curiousity and distaste, mingled with a hint of caution and a pinch of fear. The overgrown lizard wears a black vest over a black tunic, with black breeches and black gloves, along with a black backpack and a black hood. "Hi Wyvern." Yui whispers, aware of the early hour and not wanting to awaken any sleeping Pen members. "You certainly look dark this morning... are you advertising gothic products, or is this just a special occasion?" "A special occasion, of course." hisses Wyvern back, winking slyly and signalling Yui to follow him as he begins walking through the Pen's courtyards. "Besides, I was wearing it in a recent business endeavor and didn't have much time to change. It should be very useful for our morning activities, anyway." "Activities?" Yui frowns as she wanders closer to Wyvern, sniffing at the air and suddenly noticing that the lizard reeks of the scent of vanilla. "You aren't planning any schemes involving shadows, are you?" "Of course not." hisses Wyvern softly, smiling to himself as he begins approaching the area outside of the Cabaret room, near where Merelas had set up and hosted his Pen Fashion Show. Yui pauses in her tracks a moment as they get closer to the familiar area, quietly muttering: "Wyvern, where are we headed exactly?" Wyvern pauses, then points a scaly claw towards the place that was used for the Pen Fashion Show. "To start off our date, I thought I'd do a brief errand here at the Fashion Show area to pick up that formal gown that you so *ahem* amply showed off during the event. You can even wear it later-" "Wyvern." interrupts Yui, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her right foot on the ground. "You know you'd never be able to afford a dress like that, and I doubt they're even selling any yet." "Who said anything about buying it?" snickers Wyvern, winking at Yui and motioning with his head to follow along. "We're just renting it for the day, without paying anything... when noone's supervising it at 6:30 in the morning." Yui-chan frowns. "Is that why you woke me up so early? I don't think I'll be able to support your stealing products from Merelas, Wyv. He put a great deal of effort into creating them, you know." "Awwwww." whines Wyvern in disappointment, his eyes going wide and glassy. "I'm not stealing the product, I'm just renting it for zero geld when there happens to be nobody around. Pleeeeaaaaaasssssse Yui? You look soooo good in it, I swear." Yui hesitates for a moment, caught by Wyvern's innocent puppydog eye expression and blushing slightly at the lizards final comment. "Well, if it's only being rented..." "Great!" exclaims Wyvern, brashly grabbing Yui by the hand and breaking his innocent demeanor in the process. The overgrown lizard sprints the rest of the way to the outdoor area surrounding the Pen Fashion Show chambers, dragging Yui along with him until he eventually reaches the wall next to the locked gates of the quarters. The reptilian Elder then quickly fishes through his black backpack for a cheap mask of Imposter, which he sloppily tosses over his face. Turning to Yui-chan and clasping his claws together in the best pleading position he can muster, the poorly-disguised lizard softly hisses: "Ssssay Yui, could you maybe create a shadow rift in this wall so I can get into the show area the smooth way? I don't wanna waste too much time snooping around here, since I'd like to spend most of the day with you." Yui sighs and rolls her eyes, then pauses for a moment as she makes a small entryway into the building by means of the early morning shadows spotting the wall. "No shadow schemes indeed... Hurry up, alright?" "Thanksss so much." hisses Wyvern gleefully, moving towards the shadow rift and stepping into it. "Stay right here, I'll be back in a minute. Trust me, you won't regret this, it's a 100% no-fail strategy." Yui frowns at these last words as Wyvern disappears into the rift, leaning back against the wall and sighing to herself as she waits for his return. The huntresses frown deepens as, after several minutes of waiting, the first rays of sunlight fall upon the Pen Keep. As light washes over the walls where she rests, the Elder of Shadows finds it impossible to maintain her shadow rift escape route, which quickly dissipates. Yui cringes as she hears the sounds of cursing and crashing coming from within the building, and quietly rubs her forehead as the voice of a bouncer shouts "stop that imposter!" She waits for several minutes as the sounds of a chase can be heard faintly from within, until finally Wyvern is tossed out of the second floor window of the building by a bouncer, and crashlands head first a few feet away from Yui-chan. Shaking her head and smirking a bit, Yui wanders over to Wyvern to give him a hand and help him to his feet as she murmers: "You never learn, do you?" "What're you talking about?" mutters Wyvern, dizzily removing his Imposter mask and shoving it back in his backpack. "The excursion was a complete success!" Yui stands in silence a moment, and raises a brow. "A success...?" Wyvern grins to Yui triumphantly and nods as he digs through his black tunic and produces a bag of clothes labeled "Merelas Fashion," striking a heroic pose as he passes it to her and hisses: "I told you that it would be a no-fail strategy, didn't I? Even when your shadow portal didn't last, I still managed to get that beautiful gown for you. Not bad, huh?" Yui reaches into the bag, and pulls out the only two articles of clothing present in it: the leather bra and laced panties that Guido had been wearing in the fashion show. Staring at the undergarmets for a moment, Yui slowly turns her gaze towards Wyvern and tightens her face as a firey rage begins to build up in her eyes. "W-w-w-wait!" stammers Wyvern, freezing and going pale as he notices his error and slowly backs away. "It was dark in there, that was an honest mista-" Throughout the halls of the Pen, members are awoken by the resounding sound of a *SLAP!!!* as it echoes throughout the courtyards of the guild. ;-)

- 6:00 AM - *Tap tap, knock* "Pssssst... hey-" Yui-chan shifts under the shaded sheets of her beautiful four-poster bed, whispering softly to herself as her peaceful sleep envelopes her in dreams of open fields, soft beds of roses, and the gentle touch of her lover Aegon. Her dream seems to reach the height of its perfection as a soft Summer breeze channels its way across the hills and plains, causing a light rain of flower petals and sunshine to fall from the sky. Countless songbirds chirp harmoniously in unison, each sounding lovely in its own way: the larks, the wrens, the mockingbirds, the magpies, the shrikes, the... mongoose? "Knock knock." squacks the mongoose oddly, diverting the attention of the dream couple from their passionate romance. "Knock knock!" Yui-chan stares at the mongoose in puzzled concern as Aegon draws a blade to take care of the distraction, only to jump back as the sounds of hunter shots ring through the air. *Bang, bang!* Yui suddenly jumps awake in bed, sitting up as her eyes flutter open in shock. "Bang, bang, bang-crack* The sleepy huntress quickly comes to terms with her familiar sleeping quarter surroundings, and immediately turns her head towards the source of the sound. She breaths in a sharp gasp and instinctively pulls the sheets of the bed over her nightgown as she notices Wyvern sitting at her windowsill, frozen and staring into the chamber, his right claw glued into a motionless knocking position next to a new crack in the otherwise-beautiful glass window. Staying frozen in place as Yui clutches her bed sheets tightly and stares at him in bewilderment, the overgrown lizard gradually inches his fist away from the spot where the crack now rests on the window, then settles back into stiffened immobility. Yui pauses and shuts her eyes to concentrate for a moment, then turns towards a clock next to her bed and makes out that the hands read 6 AM. Turning her attention back to Wyvern sitting outside of her window, Yui tightens the security of the blanket wrapped over her nightgown and half-whispers: "Wyvern?" Upon hearing the sound of his name, Wyvern quickly unstiffens and loosens up, breathing a short sigh of relief as he hisses back: "Good morning, Yui-chan. Rise n shine, let's get started on our date." Yui-chan pauses and stares at Wyvern blankly. After a long moment of silence, she mutters: "Wyv, don't you think it's a little bit early to start a date?" Wyvern smiles a toothy grin, then answers: "It's never too early for us to start our date, Yui-chan. Besides, you paid good money for me in that auction, regardless of my never getting the chance to sign up, and I want to make you get every coppers worth of it." Yui sighs and brushes a hand through her tangled blond hair, yawning before turning her head to the lizard and muttering: "Alright, fine. Just give me a bit of time to get dressed and prepared and I'll meet you downstairs in a bit... but only because I know you've been looking forward to this." Wyvern grins and performs a miniature victory dance from his spot on the windowsill, then settles back into his previous position and continues staring into the chamber. Yui stares back at the lizard blankly, tapping a foot on the ground patiently before finally muttering: "Ummm, Wyvern?" "Yes Yui?" "When I said that I wanted time to get dressed and prepared, I meant that I wanted time to get dressed and prepared in privacy." "Oh.... eheheheh" stutters Wyvern as he turns to the tree he had used to climb up to Yui's windowsill, silently cursing at another peeping strategy gone down the drain. "Right, of course." As Wyvern begins clinging to the tree next to the window for his descent, Yui-chan manages to get a clearer sight of the crack that he made in the window, and raises a brow as she says: "Say Wyvern, before you head down... you wouldn't happen to be the one that made that crack in the window, would you?" "Errrr" mutters Wyvern nervously, half-turning his head towards Yui and lightly biting his lower lip. "Uhhh, no, of course not. I think it was Celes Crusadors cat, Carbone... yeah, I know I saw her here just a few minutes ago." Yui folds her arms over the blanket area covering her chest and frowns, brushing a strand of blond hair from her face and tapping her foot on the ground as the overgrown lizard begins climbing down the tree. The huntresses eyes widen in disbelief as she watches Carbone pounce onto Wyverns head from the top of the tree, knocking Wyvern over and causing him to fall and careen into a few branches before eventually crashing into a bush of brambles that rests at the ground below. She can't help but break into a little smile as the lizards misfortune, shaking her head and giggling at Carbone's revenge as she begins preparing herself for a long day out with an Almost Dragon.

This was an interesting read, cryptomancer. The stream of conscious sentence structure seems similar to a freewrite done in search of inspiration, and the transition from a realistic modern setting to medieval samurai combat halfway through the piece was an unexpected and intriguing developement. I like how the writing streamed from one detail to another. There was one reference in the story that I didn't pick up on which you may want to clarify: the "k" used around the middle of the first paragraph and in the first sentence of the third paragraph. I generally followed the narrators impressions and the plotline, but the use of this letter left me a bit confused. An interesting read, I look forward to more.

Thanks to everyone for the comments and feedback. You can feel free to post any guesses or responses you'd like in this thread, if you wish. If you'd like to see the answers to the riddles here, you can find them in the "What's Your Theme Song?" thread in the Courtyard. The songs parodied in this thread are the theme songs of the people they refer to.

Wyvern remains fixed in an immobile position in the audience throughout Merelas' Pen Fashion Show, his beady reptilian eyes glued on the stage for the entire duration of the event. The overgrown lizard saturates his drool bib at the sight of the first lineup of women in gowns, hides behind Izabella when Katzaniel enters onto the stage detective style, pales and nearly goes sick at the sight of the lingerie-clad guinea pigs, actually replaces his drool bib for a fresh one as he continues to drool excessively when women walk out in formal wear, oogles Appy's pricey jewelery, and practically bursts an artery in his nose as it spews blood when Yui and Salinye display their captivating formal gowns. The reptilian Elder claps, cheers, stomps his feet, and slams his tail when the event has ended, screaming for an encore as the crowds slowly dissipate from the hall. Eventually, security is forced to drag the voyeur-driven Wyvern out of the area by his tail, growling to him that encores are not part of the event. "B-b-b-but." stammers the overgrown lizard as he's tossed out. "Couldn't you just have Yui and Salinye maybe do the catwalk in those outfits once more, and perhaps have Appy come back out to toss off her jewelery into the crowds... heck, she could even toss off her clothes-" "Listen lizard." growls one of the security bouncers, spitting to the ground and scowling. "I'm sure you're gonna be fantasizing about this event for the next coupla weeks, but the purpose of it wasn't to feed your dirty imagination, it was to demonstrate how powerful a potent description can be. Now get outta here, capiche?!" "Can't you at least assure me that there'll be a follow-up?!" cries Wyvern, his eyes wide and teary as the bouncers shake their heads and depart. "Like maybe a lingerie event... 'Ayshela's Secret,' how about that?! Hey, where are you guys going off to?" Watching the bouncers as they walk back into the quarters of the fashion show and shut the doors behind them, Wyvern glumly grumbles to himself and wanders off. Thoroughly dehydrated from his excessive drooling, the greedy lizard takes long swigs from the Decanter of Endless Booze as he departs back towards his quarters. ;-)

I also really like this poem, Dopey. The subject matter is heartfelt and the lines are all phrased very well. I particularly like when the narrator first catches sight of the girl in the poem, as I thought that the chain reading "angel" was a very original detail that drove across the narrators emotions strongly. I also agree with Peredhil that the poem could work well as a hip hop song, as I could definitely envision it being read to music when I looked through it. Very good poem.

IV. Sung to the tune of "I'm Sensitive" by Jewel. I was thinking that I might reply today Just to prove everything that I praise It doesn't take a talent to post clean My comments can touch, and some go unseen So please read them carefully, I'm sensible And I'd like you to hear what I say. You always tell me that it's impossible To respond and be known to the world Why's it gotta be so complicated? Why must so many post feedback belated? So read the posts carefully, I'm sensible And I'd like you to hear what they say. I was thinking I might brighten the mood By offering comments without being rude Completely selfless, not trying to save face I post my great feedback to show I have faith So read the comments from me, I'm sensible And I'd like you to hear what they say. My poems, though rare, are often quite sad "Heartbreak" is based on a relation I had I give to the Pen like it's a sworn duty Falcon2K1 is familiar with me And anyone can have a 'no-response fit' But with selfless feedback I shall never quit I'd rather see the Pen from a bright angle We are everyday angels now which one am I in the display? V. Sung to the tune of "Courage" by Alien Ant Farm. Don't you see it splatter From afar, built in clots Don't you see, the bright red patten A tasty, light design. You should try my fangs they're contagious. My mist might never break your fall But when I'm in flight, I'm never crash landing. The Tower's a bit too far to hover Recruiter job still seems hot Pale as the hue of a dimly lit lantern I can be a charmer. You should try my fangs they're contagious. Type AB - I drank'em all I can turn this song, to hypnotic commanding. Members should be more courageous Rebellion comes in many stages. I hate hanging garlic before nightfall Does this song bring about understanding? --- Thanks for your comments, Salinye and Peredhil, I appreciate them. I'm surprised at how difficult the task of parodying a few songs and transforming them into riddles was... regardless of how messy and incoherent some of these pieces look, it was actually a fairly tricky process. ;-)

I. Sung to the tune of "Melancholy Man" by the Moody Blues. I'm a make-no-folly elf, that's what I am, The Mighty Pen surrounds me, and my ears absorb the sound, I'm a very homely elf, doing what I can, All the Pen astounds me and I think that I'll expand To keep showing ways for growing, wait and see. When all the stars are writing down Their simple pleas and subtle sounds, And angry voices spark upon a whim, I'll shine a light that will instead, Enforce good manners that shall spread, To all the members this guild's ever known. Two bodyguards are what you'll see, Whose furs are smooth and clean of fleas, And guard the elf they will throughout their stay, His sons are here as well you'll see, he always likes their company, 'Cause they share a tale of morbid history. I'm a pretty jolly elf, that's what I am, The Mighty Pen surrounds me, and my ears absorb the sound, I'm a very homely elf, doing what I can, All the Pen astounds me, now do you think you can Solve this riddle and uncover me? II. Sung to the tune of "Apathy" by Grammatrain. I guess it's up to me to hook up with the rifts in time you can't even see the ones that link to your own mind I'll pretend I'm in today and you think I'm right here Really I'm at home somewhere in the next few years I don't care I don't care I don't share ('cept in Pen fairs) you are speeded up so I'm much too slow for you we're never on an equal plane, the flow of time just spews I guess I'll just drift back enough for Christ to shake my hand now I'm born before you, can you guess who I am? III. Sung to the tune of "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. My arrow could sever or touch you as it flows like the wind from its bow But you needn't fear that or Redemption since combat I rarely allow. Shaded walls I can pass in a moment Through their darkness I feel never strife But rather a natural comfort Like the moon as it hangs in the night. And I don’t want the world to see me So within the shadows I stand Mysterious and ever soft-spoken yet willing to lend you a hand. Should you catch sight, fear not the fabric Of my ebony cloak when you spy Within its recesses lies the warmest heart That you're ever likely to find. And I don’t want the world to see me So within the shadows I stand Mysterious and ever soft-spoken yet willing to lend you a hand. And I don’t want the world to see me So within the shadows I stand Mysterious and ever soft-spoken Now do you know who I am?

"Thisss outfit lets me explore my viviparous roots." murmers Wyvern groggily, stepping back up to his platform in a semi-drunken manner as he tries to explain his style of dress to purple shadows. "Enjoyed the pool frolick *hic,* come back again any time." With that, the overgrown lizard smugly sits back in his seat, sneering at the now-off-duty Stick as he slowly lets the alcohol drip down from his soaking scales. Thanks to Gnarlitchs Kromian Ale trick, the overgrown lizard was actually getting used to being dumped into the tank, and was even beginning to look forward to the next successful contestant. Even the potential embarassment of the Hawaiian bikini suite was lost to the overgrown lizards limited sense of morals, all thanks to the effects of one of the most potent potable beverages around. Wyvern lets out a snorting guffaw as he eyes the crowds around him, nearly spewing ale from his snout as he exclaims: "Who's up next?! C'mooonnnn...hey Gyr, you know you can dump me again. Remember that time when like, I was supposed to pay that debt off, only I didn't? Hahaha... err, oh wait, that's the present. Katzaniel! Come back, ya won't miss this time... I'm an easy target, I swear. Elladan! Why don'tcha take another swing..." Wyvern pauses in his jeering and gloating as he suddenly notices that the Kromian Ale tank is being replaced by a saltwater, manta stingray-infested dunk tank, complete with tsunami whirlpool and tidal waves functions. Wyvern quickly pales and goes sober as he notices that a sign on the tank reads "Property of Jobe of the Charity Foundation for Poor, Innocent Kittens," and practically chokes as he stutters: "W-w-wait, th-there must be a-a-a-a m-misunderstanding. *gulp*" Wyvern begins clinging to his platform for dear life, tensing up at the slightest sight of a contestant approaching and whining to himself in fear.

In a homely wooden shack located along the outskirts of the Mighty Pen, Idly the Elder Dwarf loafs on a large easychair next to a glaring television set, slowly munching on popcorn as his eyes remain glued on the brightly lit screen. The lazy Dwarf's one-kernel-at-a-time policy of exercise minimization is interrupted as he reaches with an index finger to the remote control at his side, gently tapping a button to flip through channels on the set. The idle dwarf flips past a show on Celes Crusadors' cooking and a news report on the latest in Pen QuillQuests, and pauses as he arrives at a station displaying an image of the exterior of the Pen Keep with a storm gathering around it. The Elder Dwarf raises a brow as lightning flashes across the screen and strikes at Falcon2001s tower, and sits up in his seat as the screen rushes by several Pen ghosts, including GothicPeacock and HeartLikeaHole. Menacing thunder roars in the background as the image turns to the window of the Pen Recruiter's Office, and Idly goes slightly pale as week-old borsche trickles down the rainy glass to form the words: "Tales from the Cryptomancer." Idly gasps as the image on the screen moves through the glass and centers on the motionless form of cryptomancer, hauntingly seated in his very own magical easychair and covered from head to toe in gruesome cobwebs. Turning towards the screen and flashing a semi-sinister smirk, the patient applicant slowly mutters: "Greetings, and welcome to Tales from the Cryptomancer, a new show airing on Pen T.V that allows the masses of the Mighty Pen to hear tales from the unfortunate applicants that get stuck in Wyverns Office. For many years now, the overgrown lizard has kept the tales of terror from being exposed from the general masses... but as sayeth the Raven: 'Never more!'" The screen suddenly turns to a close up shot of a locked closet within Wyverns Office, and Idly grips the edges of his seat in fear as he faintly hears the voice of Xanthus wailing from within its depths... "Heeeelllp! It was a set-up!" "That's right folks." continues cryptomancer as the camera turns back to his seat. "The cobwebs you see surounding me actually show the amount of time that I myself have been waiting in this office... and now, with the help of Melba the almost Secretary of Initiates, my tales of terror shall be known to th-" Cryptomancer is suddenly interrupted as the sound of a door opening and slamming shut is heard faintly in the background, accompanied by a distinctly almost dragonic voice exclaiming "What the-?!" This is then followed by an almost secretary-like voice yelling "See what you get in your absences? I set up the whole program for this poor boychick." Idly scratches his chin as he watches cryptomancer sitting in an uncomfortable silence as the two arch-nemeses bicker it out in the background, until finally the show is cut off the air and replaced with a single screen that contains the words: "cryptomancers application - ACCEPTED." ;-) OOC: On a more serious note - an ACCEPTED application piece, cryptomancer. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! Apologies for my lengthy absence in responding, I've been caught up in poor AOL connections and have been visiting friends in the past week. I also apologize if I roleplayed your character inappropriately in this response, since I took a few more liberties than i normally do, and I look forward to reading more of your posts and participating with you in various Pen events. Once again, welcome!

I really like this poem, Katzaniel, and particularly admire it for its provocative and original details. The amount of detail you put into the imagery of the poem really grabbed my attention, and made for a very interesting and thought-provoking read. At the same time, however, I also echo Wrenwinds comments in that, while I found the imagery amazing, I also found it overwhelming at times. So many details have been crammed into each line that at times I found myself losing track of the subject that the lines were referring to, and you might want to pace some of the lines better to help improve this. Never the less, I greatly appreciated the amount of detail you used throughout, as it really caused the poem to stand out and gave it a unique feel. Very good poem, overall.

Wyvern stands dumbfounded in a belated response to Salinye's announcement, wavering slightly as he tilts against a nearby wall to prevent himself from fainting. The overgrown lizards eyes widen and go starry as Disney's "When You Wish Upon a Star" faintly cues up in the background, and his tail jerks back and forth in excitement as a smile slowly makes its way across his previously gloomy visage. The shocked reptilian schemer stands this way for nearly ten minutes, his tail slowly picking up momentum in the process, until a concerned-looking Finnius carefully wanders up to him and quietly mutters: "Hey, uhhh, Wyv... are you alright? Just want to make sure that your tail doesn't catch on fire, since it seems to be wagging pretty fast at the moment..." Wyverns tail immediatly stops swinging back and forth as Finnius says this, and the overgrown lizard turns his head to the blue man and hisses: "Ah, ehehehe... T-thanks Finnius, I'm f-f-fine. G-gotta be off now, see ya later." Finnius eyes Wyvern curiously as the overgrown lizard calmly strides out of the hall, scratching his head as he notices the concealed twitchs of excitement present in each of the lizards steps. Hearing a roaring abundance of almost dragonic cheering just as Wyvern departs from his line of sight, Finnius rolls his eyes and calls after the lizard: "Let me guess... the results of the bachelor auction finally registered with you, huh?" ;-)

I think that this is a really excellent poem, Jade. Your uses of original details and intriguing subject matter really held my attention throughout it, and they rendered the whole work very realistic and personal. The event described in the poem seems to vaguely hint at a certain brush with suicide to me, as even though it would have technically been an accident if the narrator had forgotten to unplug the toaster, the manner that electricity is referred to as "cool venom" suggests a certain attraction to it. The way that the narrators failures and lack of self-esteem are shown through thoughts of her failed pop-tart breakfast is also superb. Great poem, Jade. One of the best I've read, recently.

After millions of horrendous failures on other peoples tests, Wyvern ducks into the Cabaret Room and drops off his own little quiz, labeling it "Wyvern Quiz - only 3 geld to participate!" The overgrown lizard then swiftly races off in search of more profitable ventures, letting out a gale of evil laughter as he does so. Wyvern's Quiz ;-)

Yesterday, I saw the film "The House of Sand and Fog" on DVD with Yui and Aegon. It was a very good film overall, though it was very morbid and depressing over the course of its duration. I thought that both the character developement and the thematic undertones of the film were excellently done, as the characters of the film were very well-developed and it displayed the manners that material property and wealth can ruin ones life in a powerful manner. The acting from Jennifer Connolley and Ben Kingsley was also excellent throughout it, and Yui, Aegon and I were all left with a good impression. My only two complaints about the film are that it was a hard film to take at times due to its depressing nature, and that the "surprise ending that will leave you breathless," which was advertised on the back of the DVD cover, never really occured.

A sudden hush falls upon the Cabaret Room as the lights slowly begin to dim and a spotlight falls upon the front of a curtained stage. The ladies in the audience grin to one another and giggle as a drum roll cues up in the background, and hold their breaths as the curtains are drawn back to reveal a large wooden stage along with a background consisting of pictures of each of the bachelor participants... The photos are all handsome and dashing depictions of the bachelors at hand, with the exception of four glaring features present on each of them; a moustache, a goatee, and two devil horns... all of which have been hastily scrawled onto the pictures in Almost Dragonic Brand Red Ink "Ladies of the Mighty Pen!" booms the voice of Sexy the Elder Dwarf through a loudspeaker somewhere off stage as the drum roll quickly bulds momentum. "The Pen Solistice Carnival in collaboration with handsome Bachelors from across the Pen proudly presents... the First Annual Pen Bachelor Auction!" A distinctly feminine sound of cheering fills the room as the drum roll crescendo ends with a magnificent symbol clash. An off-key theme music immediatly cues up in the background, combining both the music of "Joe Millionaire" and the theme song for "The Price is Right." The cheering continues as the spotlight falls on center stage and the voice of Sexy the Elder Dwarf exclaims: "And now, heeeeeerrrrre's your host. That turn off of a turn on, that lowlife money-grubbing wretch, that heartless two-bit scumbag, that tasteless pioneer of bad fashion, the perverted lustful loser, that no-good crazy-" The room suddenly goes quiet as the Elder Dwarf's intro is interrupted by a large bout of static, which roars through the loudspeakers for a long moment before clearing up to reveal the sounds of two voices cursing. Amongst the various curses, the audience can vaguely make out "Enough is enough!," "I'm not finished yet!" and "Gimme that mic, you midget!" A moment of silence passes, and then Wyvern casually walks onto the stage from the lefthand side of the curtains, waving to the audience and whistling innocently. The overgrown lizard wears a smoking leather jacket over a Gecko Brand orange T-shirt, plaid golf pants, a tan fishing hat, and some extremely cheap brand of cologn. Grabbing a microphone off of its stand and turning towards the audience, the fashion-blind host flashes a grin of razor sharp teeth to the crowd and hisses: "Greetings everyone, it's great to see so many gorgeous and potentially wealthy Pen gals in the audience this evening. My name's Wyvern, and I'll be your Bachelor Auction host for the evening. As host of this auction, it's my responsibility to introduce you to each of the bachelors that you can bid on in this auction, which I'll be summing up in alphabetical order... let the intros begin!" Wyvern does a twirl on stage and snaps his finger. Nothing happens for a long moment, and the overgrown lizard casts a menacing glare towards the spot where Sexy the Elder Dwarf had been making announcements off-stage before the spotlight falls upon the picture of Aural. "Our first specimen of the evening is Aural, Elwen's elven twin brother. With a last name like Moonflower, you know he's gonna be romantic... well, that or a botanist that really enjoys mooning people, which could also potentially be fun. Unless of course he happens to moon people while standing in poison ivy, which might not be as fun. Anyway, the only thing I don't particularly like about this participant is his moustache, his goatee, and his two devil horns. Onto the next bachelor." Wyvern snaps a scaly finger, and the spotlight falls onto the picture of Daryl. "This next bachelors name is Daryl, and he's perfect for cuddling with, wearing as a fur coat, and giving bones to. Ladies have often referred to him as being 'foxy,' so you really have nothing to lose... unless, of course, you don't like red moustaches, goatees, and devil horns, in which case he's out of the question. Next!" The spotlight turns to the picture of Dean the Adequate. "This bachelor is commonly referred to as Dean the Adequate, a humble subtitle for someone who's perpetually smashed off hard liquor and accompanied by his cute little ally Phil D. Cat. He spoke of losing his marriage licenses upon applying for this position, which means he can definitely assure you a good time. His moustache, goatee, and devil horns put his "Adequate" title into question, however." Wyvern snaps his finger, and the spotlight turns its focus to a picture of the Death of Rats. "If you want a unique dating experience, you should be sure to turn your attention to the Death of Rats, a.k.a the infamous Grim Squeaker. Sure, he may be miniscule in size and might lack the sensuality of having flesh, but the rodent reapers got a lot of class and can even speak to you in heart signs. His moustache, goatee, and devil horns look just plain cheesy, though. Next please." Wyvern taps his foot on the ground twice, and the spotlight quickly turns from the Death of Rats' picture to a picture of Elrohir. "Maybe you're searching for charisma and refined wisdom in a bachelor, someone with a base of knowledge that extends far beyond their years. If this is the case, look no further than the next bachelor on auction, Peredhil's elven son Elrohir. In terms of taste and class, you can't do better than going out with this suave heir of the Peredhil lineage. Then again, it does take a certain amount of ignorance to grow a red moustache, goatee, and devil horns when you once looked so handsome. Bring it to the next!" The spotlight readjusts its position to Falcon2K1s portrait, which has three different faces in it. "Pay for one and get a choice out of three! Falcon2K1 has given bidders the option of choosing between William Azunost, Cioden Darkeye, or Caryon Megeta for their dream date. Whether cawing with reply ravens or losing tempers collectively, each of the bachelors offered will give you a date you'll never forget. Particularly since all three of them sport extremely unfashionable looking moustaches, goatees, and devil horns. Next!" The spotlight turns and aims its attention at a picture of Finnius. "The blue man commonly known as Finnius is always an excellent option, being both a master of haikus and a master of long, drawn-out cannablistic tribal relationships. He'll eat you right up, and will leave you feeling blue when he departs... that is, if you're ever able to get over his red moustache, goatee, and devil horns, which contrast horrendously with his blue skin." Wyven circles a scaly hand in the air, and the spotlight turns and illuminates a picture of Gryphon. "The next participant on the list of bachelors is Gryphon, who's a perfect pick for those ladies who enjoy pleasant cloud strolls and speaking in loving bird tweet slang. Gryphons wings also make him an ideal date for both tickle torture and fanning, but be forewarned... red moustaches, goatees, and devil horns have never clashed well with beaks and feathers." Wyvern claps his hands twice, and the spotlight switches from Gryphons picture to Gwaihirs picture. "Choose Gwaihir as your bachelor, and you can rest assured that you'll be recieving only the best roses upon meeting up with him... his ability to speak with plants definitely has it's advantages. His clumsiness can also provide you with a hell of a good time, since he'll probably end up laying his hands on places other bachelors would never even think of touching. Unfortunatly, I can't say that I admire the red moustache, goatee, and devil horns that he currently sports. Switch it to the next bachelor." The spotlight rotates for a moment, then falls upon a picture of Gyrfalcon. "Gyrfalcon is the next bachelor up to auction, a critically-acclaimed ranger hunk with many years of adventuring experience that have left him a veteran in matters of love. I mean, just look at what the suave half-elf pulled in Salinye's Kissing Booth and you'll get a general idea of what kind of gentleman we're dealing with here. Then again, Gyrfalcon didn't have that red moustache, goatee, and devil horns last time I saw him, and those can really be an enormous turn off when it comes to kissing. Next!" The spotlight turns and flashes in Wyvern's direction briefly, blinding the lizard for a moment before focussing on a picture of Jirah. "Jirah, a thief relative of Alaeha, is another good choice for a bachelor to take out for a night on the town. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up slipping you into the movies for free and stealing your heart before the closing credits roll. Alas, now that Jirah sports a moustache, goatee, and devil horns, he's going to be a lot more identifiable to the authorities and probably won't be as much fun to be around." Wyvern does a clumsy version of the moonwalk as the spotlight switches to a picture of Jonathan Wolfe. "If Daryl has been taken and you'd like another cute fox to bid on, you should look no further than Jonathan Wolfe, another perfect cuddling date. If brushing against orange fur and making out in the grass are your thing, look no further than this hunk of a fox. Be warned, however: the moustache, goatee, and devil horns are not just another part of his fur." Wyvern smacks his tail onto the ground twice, and curses as his stinger gets stuck in the stage floor just as the spotlight turns to a picture of Merelas. "This next bachelor, Merelas, is a sure-fire great date... particularly since he's a half-flame elf. That's right ladies, Merelas is so hot that chances are you'll melt before him and your very heart will be warmed towards him before the evenings out. I don't even dare to think of what might happen when his moustache, his goatee, and his two devil horns catch on fire, however. Onto the next bachelor." Wyvern pulls at his stuck tail as the spotlight turns its focus to a picture of Mira. "Another nice bachelor to bid on is Mira, commonly refered to as a Dreamer of Dreams. I can't imagine a better bachelor to dream up a dream date for you, he's positively dreamy. Unfortunatly, his moustache, goatee, and devil horns look like they could be straight out of a fashion designers worst nightmare. Next!" Wyvern continues pulling at his tail futily as the spotlight carefully refocuses on a picture of Nuncio. "Somewhere inbetween Daryl, Jonathan Wolf, and the Death of Rats we have our next bachelor on auction: Nuncio of Guido and Nuncio guinea pig bodyguard fame. Far from a simple hampster-feed eating, large plastic ball rolling guinea pig, this large hunk of fur is sure to give you a memorable night out. He's always been considered the most clever and intellegent out of the Guido-Nuncio pair, and can tell you all about Peredhi the Polite's secret habits. Be forewarned, however, that his red moustache, goatee, and devil horns are not just part of his genetic whisker make-up. Next bachelor." The spotlight goes dim for a moment, then focuses on a picture of Orlan. "Orlan, the official Sexy Sexy Man of the Pen is Mightier than the Sword, kind of doesn't need an explanation at this point... his title says it all. Of course, one might note that the smoothest and sexiest Man of Terra now has a moustache, goatee, and devil horns that- well... ahhhh, who am I kidding, he looks good even with the extra accessories. And that's saying something." Wyvern waves a scaly hand in the air, and the spotlight hesitates before moving away from Orlan's picture and focussing on a picture of Ozymandias. "Babes in search of revamping their Pen status through a bit of seduction should definitely look into Ozymandias the Elder, the Loremaster of the Pen who's officially on auction! Given his ancient Egyption roots, the Great King is certain to treat you like a regular Cleopatra and give you all the pyraminds, scarabs, and embalming fluid you need for a great date. I don't recall crooked red moustaches, goatees, and devil horns being popular amongst pharoahs, but he seems to have them in excess never the less. To the next bachelor, if you will." Wyvern manages to dislodge the stinger of his tail from the floor of the stage just as the spotlight turns its focus to a picture of Peredhil. "Another popular bachelor option is Peredhil the Polite, who will be certain to treat you like a gentleman with the proper respect. The whole "AP-E" thing may be somewhat tricky to work around when you want to heat up your date, but ladies - the polite elder is most definitely single. I can't say that I find his red moustache, goatee, and devil horns very gentleman-like, however." Wyvern hisses and rolls his eyes as the spotlight turns to another picture, this one portraying Regel. "The next bachelor on auction in the list is Regel, who is well-renowned for his straightforward approach and deep-rooted admiration for chocolate. As an angel of apocalypse, he'll be certain to show you the kinkier side of Heaven over the course of the date. The only blemish I can find on Regel are his moustache, his goatee, and his devil horns, which simply stray from his character and aren't very attractive." Wyvern gives a scaly thumbs up to an unknown location off-stage, and the spotlight swiftly turns its attention to a picture of Stick. "Stick is another excellent choice for a bachelor to bid on, given his ability to have a great time and take a walk on the wild side. Dating him may also bring you one step closer to that hunk of an icon Mr. Bunny... and ladies, lets just say that they don't call him the 'Big Pointy One' for nothing. *ahem* Then again, you'll have to deal with red moustaches, goatees, and devil horns if you choose to date him, and who knows how many twigs can get caught in those. Next up!" The spotlight goes much dimmer as it turns and focusses on a picture of Vlad, careful not to shine to much light on the photo. "This bachelors daring full name is Vlad the Imploder, and he's certain to give you such a big crush, you'll implode. Vlad enjoys long midnight strolls, immortal love and bonding, and plenty of necking. Garlic fans need not apply... nor do people who tend to avoid red moustaches, goatees, and devil horns that look like some Bram Stroker rip off. Onto the next." The spotlight turns and floats through the audience for a moment, then refocusses its attention on the background of the stage and illuminates a picture of Xaious. "The second to last bachelor on the list of biddable people is Xaious the Master of Time, who is sure to give you the time of your life on a date. Whether in the after-hours or through each passing minute, the time-manipulator will have your heart steadily beating at an accelerated rate. I have no idea from which century he got that horrendously outdated moustache, goatee, and devil horns, though..." With that, Wyvern tears the bachelor list up and tosses it as confetti, grinning and bowing as cheers erupt from the crowd. The overgrown lizard dodges a few fruits tossed at him from folks in the audience who failed to appreciate the "accuracy" of his summaries, then leans towards the mic stand and hisses: "And ladies, there's one other bachelor on auction tonight, not listed on that sheet of people that signed up. He's a cunning bachelor, a handsome bachelor... a bachelor that has no moustache or goatee for a change, and who has horns that look nothing like those of a devil. A bachelor who would absolutely love to spend an evening with one of you ladies, and who might even be willing to spend geld on it. So, since you know that the bids for Orlan are going to be too high to afford anyway, bid for the alternative option... bid for-" "And that's a wrap, folks!" booms the voice of Sexy the Elder Dwarf from the loudspeaker as confetti begins raining down for the ceiling. "We're all out of time! Thank you so much for joining us this evening, and be sure to cast your bids to Salinye as soon as you get a chance. This event has been brought to you by the Pen Solistice Carnival, sponsored by Ol' Peculiar. Ol' Peculiar... the drink that goes straight to your gut and right out the other end!" "W-w-wait." starts Wyvern meekly as the microphone loses all of its sound and the spotlight goes dark. "I... I wasn't finished." As the ladies of the Mighty Pen chatter and giggle to one another and depart from the area of the stage, noone notices Wyvern standing in the dark, his visage unnaturally vulnerable and hurt and his eyes slightly tamer-looking then usual. Biting his scaly lip a bit and taking one final look at the departing crowd, the overgrown lizard lets out a short sigh of longing before slowly treading to the stage exit, stage right.

Mynx sighs to herself and fidgets with her whiskers as her friend Gryphon races around her applicant easychair in circles, chanting in hymns about how he's been accepted to the Pen and the many qualities found in a good application. After administering his sage advice, Gryphon beams to Mynx proudly and takes to the skies, performing an impressive ariel maneuver consisting of a triple-somersault and quadruple-backflip before accidentally crashing into a clear pane of glass and falling flat on his face into an ocean of paperwork. Mynx winces at her friends accident and places a paw over her mouth upon the sight of his crash, but cannot help giggling a tiny bit at her companions rather swift fall from grandeur... Wandering over to the area of the Office where Gryphon had crashed in the hopes of helping him up, Mynx suddenly pauses and lets out a nervous little "meow" as she notices the knob to the main entrance door of the Recruiter's Office turning. The feline applicant immediately stands up straight and makes herself as presentable as possible, brushing her hair back with a fine comb and setting her vocal tone to a comforting purr. She smiles towards the door with a cute kitten grin as Wyvern speedily enters into the room, but frowns as the reptilian Elder passes her without noticing her in a frantic race for his desk. Mynxs frown deepens as she notices that the overgrown lizard is wearing several fur coats over his tunic and breeches, along with a pair of googly eye sunglasses and a not-too-convincing fake rubber nose. "I knew I shouldn't have pressed my luck with that wage raising scheme." cries Wyvern to himself as he sorts through the paperwork on his desktop, still unaware of Mynx's presence as he discards candy wrappers and old "Naughty Elf" magazines to the floor. "Just my luck that I can no longer find the key to Xanthus' closet. Multi-colored Pen spotlights, who'd of thought they'd take it to those extremes?!" Mynx raises a brow and bites her lip nervously, quietly approaching Wyvern's desk in the hopes of getting the Elder of Initiates' attention and cringing at the overgrown lizard's complete lack of organization. "Excuse me..." starts Mynx meekly, raising a paw in the hopes of alerting Wyvern of her presence. "Time to leave town quick." continues Wyvern to himself, still unaware of Mynxs presence in his extensive search for missing documents. "Thank God for these leftover Almost Dragonic Brand Fur Coats™, they still function nicely as disguises. And to think that I was initially scared by the rumors of their materials being cursed by animal spirits." "Excuse me." says Mynx again, this time slightly louder. The feline applicant takes a step closer towards the desk, then purrs "Mr. Wyvern?" Wyvern turns his head from his desk searching as Mynx says this, finally noticing the eager applicants presence and coming to a standstill. The overgrown lizards scales turn from crimson red to a pale white as he notices the human-sized Mynx standing in the Office, a gleaming scythe in hand, eyeing him with a mixture of curiousity and aggitation. "Oh just my luck." cries Wyvern to himself, tearing at his scales. "The fur coats are haunted by animal spirits! I'm doomed!" Mynx twists her face up upon hearing this, and is about to open her mouth to state her purpose when she finds Wyvern groveling humbly at her feet. "Please, spare me." pleads the reptilian Elder, dropping his Almost Dragonic Brand Fur Coats™ onto the ground and hiding them behind his back. "No cats were hurt in the making of those coats, I swear! They were all cheaply fabricated using previously shed fur. I'll do anything to redeem myself in your eyes." Mynx stammers at this for a moment in confusion, then slowly smiles as she realizes her position. Whipping out her application sheet and handing it to Wyvern, she purs: "Will you accept this?" "Certainly." hisses Wyvern. And with that, the overgrown lizard stamps Mynx's application piece ACCEPTED. ;-) OOC: On a more serious note: an ACCEPTED application, Mynx. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I apologize for the long wait for a response; I've been struggling with net connections as of late and as a result wasn't able to get to this application immediately. I look forward to reading more of your stuff, as well as writing with you in various projects. Welcome, once again!

Gryphons frown gradually deepens as hours of waiting turn into days, and with each passing minute his shiny balls of magic slowly fade to dimmer hues of their former glory. The eager applicant glances towards the grandfather clock resting at the corner of the Office as he patiently waits, rustling his feathers in a worried manner as he notices just how late the Elder of Initiates' is. Lifting himself from his seat and clearing his throat in the hopes of signaling his worries to nearby Pen members with a bird call, Gryphon suddenly perks his head up as he hears the nob of the Office door turning, accompanied by a familiar low murmer of almost dragonic cursing... "Damn door... blocked yet again, and by a paperwork avalanche I wager. Hmmm..." Upon hearing Wyverns distraught voice from the other end of the doorway, Gryphon immediatly brightens up, his balls of magic fully illuminating themselves and swinging back into motion. Smiling to himself and crossing his arms over his chest, the feathered applicant taps a foot on the ground patiently as he curiously observes the manner that Wyvern deals with the jammed door. "Woody..." Wyvern hisses to the door, kneeling down on one knee in order to speak to it in a more personal manner. "I thought we had an agreement: no more steel key locks, no more door jams." Gryphon raises a brow as he hears the door speak back to Wyvern in some indecipherable dialiact that sounds like a cross between the rustling of tree branchs and door creaks. After the door has finished speaking, Wyvern sighs glumly and hisses: "O.K, fine... the next person the Pen sends to oil your hinges will be a babe that somehow speaks in door. Now, will you please clear away the paperwork blocking your path so I can get inside and respond to Gryphons application?" The door responds with a sound that ressembles a saw moving over a log, then makes the noise of a papershredder as he summons his deity of choice: Mahagonni Closhet. Gryphon jumps back as all of the drawers in Wyverns Office begin opening and closing simultaneously, creating a strong gust of wind that blows the paperwork away from the door and allows it to open. The eager applicant quickly recovers from his startled state as he watches Wyvern stride into the Office, saluting the overgrown lizard as he wanders towards him for a formal greeting. "Greetingsss Gryphon." hisses the reptilian Elder in an apologetic manner, extending a scaly claw and shaking the applicants hand. "Apologies for my lengthy absence... it's a long story involving pies, dunk booths, fortunes, and misinterpreted Almost Dragonic Brand Manuals of Leaf Etiquette™ (only 12 geld a piece!). I hope I didn't keep you waiting too lo- GET DOWN!" Gryphon stammers as Wyvern grabs him by his left arm and immediately drops to the ground, taking the feathered applicant down with his weight. The overgrown lizard carefully watches as one of Gryphons glowing magic balls floats past them in the air, then frantically hisses: "Spotlights! Don't move a muscle, Gryphon... I didn't realize they'd be onto my hiding place so soon. I'll ACCEPT your application, then we'll split up to evade them, you got it?" "I-" starts Gryphon in the hopes of explaining how the balls of light are his own, but before he can continue, Wyvern stamps his application ACCEPTED and makes a dash for the nearest window. ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Gryphon. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I apologize for the length of time that's elapsed since you applied and I responded, and hope that the wait wasn't too grueling. I look forward to reading more of your writing, as well as participating with you in numerous community events. Once again, welcome!

Wyvern sighs as he slowly hobbles towards Xaious' carnival activity, taking advantage of his brief shift from being a dunk tank target in order to examine a few nearby booths. Xaious lifts his head from his Gameboy as Wyvern arrives at his counter, rudely positioning his scaly elbows on its wooden boards and belching a few flames. "Greetings, Wyvern!" exclaims Xaious happily, briefly pausing his game of Tetris at level six and glancing at the overgrown lizard. "You can have your near future read here for only ten geld pieces!" Wyvern frowns upon hearing this and stares at Xaious for a moment, rummaging through his pockets in search of the few trinkets he might be willing to part with in his near-broke state. Pulling out a hairball previously used by Carbone, a button that had previously belonged to a tasteless Hawaiian jacket, and a partially bent staple, Wyvern sets them on Xaious' counter and hisses: "Listen Xaious... I realize that this isn't much and that it doesn't quite cover the fee you requested, but I'm kinda broke at the moment and can't afford your price. Just take these little odds and ends and tell me a good future." Xaious raises a brow at Wyvern and frowns. "But... Wyvern, I predict your future. I can't promise if it'll be good or bad." "Ehhhh, make a good one up." mutters Wyvern, taking a small swig from the Decanter of Endless Booze as he eyes Xaious glumly. "I mean, it's not like I payed the actual price for a prediction anyway." Xaious frowns again. "But, if you realize you're being lied to before you've even heard it, what's the point of coming to this booth in the first place?" "Well..." hisses Wyvern while drumming a claw along Xaious' counter. "Let's just say I'm a sucker for investing in fortunes." ;-)

Wyvern tightly clutches a sheet of paper headed "Almost Dragonic Brand Advertisement Campaign" as he clumsily stumbles between two carnival booths, perking his head up as he notices the personification excercise that Ayshela is hosting at one of them. A sinister grin spreads across the overgrown lizard's diabolical visage as he glances first towards Ayshela's booth, then towards his blank advertisement campaign sheet, and then back to Ayshela's booth again. Whipping out a cheap quill, the greedy Elder immediatly begins writing... I. Almost Dragonic Brand Travel Gear A. Tired of the wind constantly whistling at you while mocking you with its dynamic dancing and acrobatics? Introducing: Almost Dragonic Brand Breeze Blocker™. Almost Dragonic Brand Breeze Blocker™... making the blocking of wind a, errrr... well, a breeze! Add displays the image of cryptomancer in an uncomfortable-looking suite of body-armor, which is labeled with the intials "A.D.B.B.B." He is displayed sitting next to a cooling fan in the Cabaret Room of the Pen and grumbling: "Now it works... if only it had blocked breeze when that last tornado hit." B. Volcanoes have been known to belch large quantities of molten lava upon awakening from their century-long naps in an act of natural indegestion... that's why it's imperitive that you invest in Almost Dragonic Brand Volcanoe Alpha-Seltzer™. Almost Dragonic Brand Volcanoe Alpha-Seltzer™... if you're going to spend your last moments on Earth next to an erupting volcanoe, you might as well do it watching the pointless lava bubbles it produces. Warning: not a significant cure for volcanic indegestion. Add displays the image of a soot-covered Silly the Elder Dwarf, who holds up a sign that reads: "Comes in three flavors: magma, sulfur, and molten ash! Do not keep within the reach of young volcanoes, ages four hundred thousand to six hundred thousand." C. Bricks can often be bland and stoic affairs, emotionless in their cold and meditative states. That's why we here at Almost Dragonic would like to introduce the Almost Dragonic Brand Peaceful Battering Ram™... a healthy alternative to normal battering rams that'll get those bricks rolling right out of their cement in no-time flat. Also perfect for pebble parties. Add displays a series of clowns tied to large wooden sticks and lined up in rows, telling numerous stone jokes to a brick wall. None of the jokes cause the wall to move in any way, but upon the fourty first "Why did the chicken statue cross the road" joke, the wall slowly begins to crumble. D. Don't be frightened when staring down the gaping maw of an enormous cliff, dreading the jaggedness of its depths. With Almost Dragonic Brand Avalanche Whistles™, you can easily turn that eery cliff into a comfortable stairway to safety. Warning: some ultra-sonar aiming experience may be required. Add displays Finnius, who whistles a beautiful rendition of Kid Rock's "Rock and Roll" on the flutre, flashes his trademark handsome grin to the camera, and gives a thumbs up before being promptly hit by an avalanche. E. Have you ever thought that a river might be gurgling something behind your back, spreading some rumor about you in its indecipherable aquatic codes? Well, you can now shut that river up with Almost Dragonic Brand Damming Services™... the dam materials aren't even included! Add displays Wyvern standing over a river in a necromancer outfit, sinisterly hissing the words "I damn you to Hell!" Upon sprinkling some special "Damning Dust" into the water, the overgrown lizard slips and falls into the river, screaming futilly as he's carried upstream. F. The Ocean can be quite an intimidating figure, with its angered fists of tidal waves and carniverous fish cousins. But at heart, the ocean is actually very friendly and welcoming individual... which is why you need to hear the Almost Dragonic Brand Ocean Confession Tapes™, where the Ocean bares his heart for you, on tape! Add displays a confused Gyrfalcon, who scratches his head and frowns as he listens to a tape consisting of only the sounds of crashing waves. G. Stones are often thought of as the illegitimate and uncivilised cousins of bricks, raised in the wild and often of a disfigured composure. What better way to help these poor souls than with the Almost Dragonic Brand Civilised Stone Makeover Kit™... comes in only one color: shiny red. Add displays Shiny the Elder Dwarf, who gleefully paints one stone after the other with the makeover kit while exclaiming "Ssshhhhiiiiinnnnnny!" Behind the happy Elder Dwarf, an Almost Dragonic Incorporated vehicle sets up a sign that reads "Shiny Red Brick Road, Complete With Genuine Dwarf - Thirty Geld Per Tour." H. Have you ever noticed when a leaf waves at you in the wind as it floats through the air, or curtseys to you as it falls in an Autumn breeze? Presenting: the Almost Dragonic Brand Manual of Leaf Etiquette™, guaranteed to tell you exactly what a leaf is saying. Add displays Xaious stomping on a leaf furiously, growling: "That'll teach you not to refer to me as having 'a few screws loose.'" and not noticing that there are two hundred and fifty thousand other interpretations for the same ariel leaf maneuver. I. Trees can often get dizzy once sawed through the core, and have difficulties balancing themselves when a saw has completed its duties. The question of whether anyone hears one of these majestic beings as it falls when nobody is there has always been a riddle, until now... introducing the Almost Dragonic Brand Nobody of Consequence Forest Expedition Service™! Add displays the Pen member Nobody of Consequence standing with Gryphon and Mynx in a forest as several lumberjacks chop down a tree. Nobody rolls his eyes and contemplates how much he's being paid for his job as Gryphon and Mynx exclaim: "We can hear it!" J. An open road can beckon to you with its outstretched arms of dirt and sunset horizon smile. We at Almost Dragonic believe in only the finest of roads, which is why we're offering you the first ever Almost Dragonic Brand Shiny Red Brick Road Tour™, complete with it's own genuine dwarf! Add displays Shiny the Elder Dwarf again, still gleefully designing stones with the Almost Dragonic Brand Civilised Stone Makeover Kit™ and exclaiming "Ssssshhhiiiiiinnnnnyyyyy!" ;-)