Wyvern

History Wyvern was hatched a very long time ago next to a large, unnamed volcano amidst molten gravel, tar pits, and spewing magma. Everything pretty much went downhill for the overgrown lizard from there. It is rumored that Wyvern maintained a strong focus on studies in get-rich-quick schemes in his youth, which might provide an explanation for his being unable to fly or breath fire, but there's nothing that can confirm this as a fact. The scheming lizard eventually set off from his motherland when he found that there were only so many ways to advertise large rocks and ash, and his drive for fast cash brought him to a land who's name has now become forgotten in the recesses of time. This land provided him with a bubbling cesspool of gullibility in the form of Archmagi, a species of dweeb that could spend up to two thousand geld on a pile of dust if you claimed it was litch ashes. It also sparked a relatively brief relationship with an archmage floozy, landed him a position as a succubi's pet, and won him the Decanter of Endless Booze from the legendary booze prophet, Brute. Wyvern was also labeled a Patron Saint of Parties after blackmailing the Saint judging pannel in the hopes of recieving geld donations for his new title, but was instead dragged by his aquaintances to the Mighty Pen, where he was labeled the Elder of Initiates and was tossed into a small office space with a monstrous almost secretary. The lizard works long hours there for tiny, insignificant wages to this day. For more information on Ozymandias the Elder and the distribution of Pen wages, call 1-900-FREEWYVIE. Little is known about Wyverns relatives or parents, though when they're mentioned or brought up in conversations he tends to act nervous, fearful, and a little ashamed. There was once an instant where he recieved a letter from one of his uncles, also named Wyvern, which mentioned that he'd be coming to visit the Pen and drove the lizard into a panicked frenzy. The uncle never showed up, however, and Wyverns family remains clouded in a dark fog of mystery.

I tuned into your show this evening/morning, lumpen, and just wanted to say that I really enjoyed it! The music you played throughout the show was excellent as always, and I really like the manner that the show was organized into different sections and artists, with a future blues section and many blues guitar classics dispersed throughout it. I also immediately noticed that your voice sounds much clearer now when you announce things, and I really like the guitar track you used in the background for interludes and talking over. You seem to also make more announcements now, which is good, and you provided some excellent background info over the course of the show on things such as the story of Bonnie Raitts origins as a blues guitarist and the history of the stratocaster. Lumpenproletariat droppin that music knowledge for the blues-hungry masses! ;-) A couple of moments that stood out to me were "Stone Bridge" by Jimi Hendrix, "Call it the Blues" by Harry Manx, "Wrap it up" by Jimmie Vaughn, the transition into Rory Gallaghers upbeat "Laundromat" and the transition into the first Magic Slim and the Tear Drops track (which was perfect). My only complaint would be that the audio stream was a bit choppy and cut off at certain intervals during the show, but that's not something you have any real control over and may have also had to do with my connection. Great stuff, I'll be sure to tune in every week if possible.

Brief Description Commonly labeled with affectionate nicknames such as "overgrown gecko," "reptilian Elder," and "that scheming scumbag son of a salamander," Wyvern stands at 6' in height and usually measures at around 7 in lie detector exams. He is one handsome hunk of a lizard, particularly if crimson scales, forked tongues, groping claws, razor-sharp teeth, pointy horns, swinging tails, and lethal explosive sneezes turn you on. Many of Wyverns physical traits are directly related to his highly exploitable brethren, the wyvern. He's got the wings, he's got the claws, he's got the snout, he's got the tail, he's even got that neat little scorpion stinger thingy at the end of the tail! Of course, it's only fair to note that his wings don't fly, his claws don't scratch, his stinger doesn't poison and nothing polite ever seems to come out of that mouth at the end of his snout. In addition, unlike other wyverns, Wyverns arms and claws are not directly attached to his wings... he grew out of that trait when he found how inconvenient it was when it came to swindling stolen goods. He also cannot breath fire, but when he sneezes his pent up flames exit in great abundance. Beware the season of the flu. In terms of his common attire, Wyvern follows a very strict dress code in order to keep up with current fashions: "If it's in the closet and it won't screw up business endeavors too badly, toss it on!" This often results in the lizard sporting Hawaiin T-shirts, booze-stained breaches, tasteless tunics, and the occasional cloak/overcoat combo. It should be noted that this dress code can be overriden by Wyvern dress code 1.5: "If it's in someone elses closet and it won't go too unnoticed, toss it on!" Billboards with Almost Dragonic advertisements on them are also fair game for the lizard, and he'll throw on just about anything for the appropriate amount of geld. Wyvern has become a favorite amongst magazines such as Mad Magazine, Reptiles, and Phantasmagoria for his keen sense of fashion. Wyvern labels himself "almost a dragon," though "almost a wyvern" is probably a more accurate description when all's said and done.

The "Speechless" episode of "Any Given Moment" went very well this evening, as I felt that the mix of instrumental hip hop worked very well over the course of its two hour duration. Several excellent hip hop producers were touched upon, in addition to electronica heavyweights such as Prefuse 73 and Tortoise and even a bit of jazz with Medeski, Martin and Wood. The only visible error on the show was a small technical difficulty near the end of the second hour, which was the first technical difficulty of the semester. Fortunatly, it was quickly resolved. As usual, the Mighty Pen was shouted out and given props during the show. In addition to general praises, Tamaranis and Katzaniel were shouted out for tuning in and IMing me on AOL, and tracks were dedicated to Yui and Aegon (Controler 7's "Shades of a Former You" from the Bully Records "Lunch Money Singles" compilation) as well as to Salinye (Tortoise's upbeat anthem "C.T.A"). Thanks once again to everyone who tuned in and supported the show! The theme for next week has yet to be decided, but will be announced at some point next week. I would still be very grateful if someone would be willing to take up the task of recording the shows and archiving them as MP3s, since there are people that can't listen in but would really like to hear them. Be sure to PM me if you'd be willing to do it... anyone willing to take up the task will definitely be rewarded by yours truly. ;-)

Loki Wyrd, I think that this is a very good story, as the numerous original details you incorporate throughout it make for a provocative read. I thought that the manner that the narrators friend was characterized was particularly well done, as his fear of leaving the ground and the many interesting activities he participates in with the narrator over the course of their friendship were nicely depicted. In addition, with the exception of one or two minor instances ("This was peculiar, indeed. Had gravity some greater hold over him than lesser beings?"), the narrative voice is very consistant and adds a sense of realism to the text. As for potential improvements, one thing that stood out to me as being not as strong as the other elements of the text was the manner that the narrator undergoes a change at the end of the text. The changes that occur within the narrator at the end are interesting, but the manner that they're directly stated in the text is rather blunt and philosophical, which seems somewhat out of character for the narrator. In addition, while backstory is always good to fuel the characterization of a text, you may want to consider bringing the reader back to the present moment and the emotional conflict at hand every few paragraphs. A story that consists of mostly backstory runs the risk of losing the interest of the reader, since the reader is often most interested in the conflict currently at hand. Good story, I'm glad it was well-recieved.

Here's a new music video that I really feel the need to share with the Pen, since I think it's fantastic and it's one of the best music videos I've seen since the previously mentioned D.J Format video. SSSR, the animation studio behind this video, did some very interesting and innovative things stylistically, and the video comes off as some bizarre offspring of 60s Disney cartoons, psychadelic video game imagery, and twisted social critique. The video can be viewed here (note: Quicktime player is required to see it): Subtle - "F.K.O" The song that this video was made for, Subtle's "F.K.O" (which stands for "F@$% Kelly Osbourn"... subtle indeed), is taken from Subtle's upcoming album "A New White," which is due out in October. I think the song's brilliant, and the CD's definitely amongst my most anticipated of the year.

Wyvern dashes towards the Cabaret Room as fast as his scaley legs can carry him, a large portfolio tucked under one scaly arm and a suitecase brimming with material goods nestled in the other. The overgrown lizard clenches his teeth as he glances at a grandfather clock resting at the end of the hall, then quickly begins picking up his pace... Wyvern darts around a corner at dangerously high speeds, losing a few pages from the portfolio he carries as he practically crashes into Jonathan Wolfe, barely avoiding a collision with the recently-promoted Quillbearer as he continues dashing towards the Cabaret Room as fast as he can. Wyvern rockets into the Cabaret Room, rudely barging through the small crowd that has gathered around Falcon as his tail swings back and forth uncontrolably. Noticing what appears to be a red streak rapidly approaching his podium, Falcon2001 adjusts the collar of his suit nervously and stammers: "S-so if anyone has any ideas, that would be-" "Faaaallllccccooooon!" Falcon2001 freezes in place as he notices that Wyvern now stands at the head of the crowd, holding a portfolio in one hand and a suitcase in the other. "Uhhh, yeah." mutters Falcon, taking a step back as Wyvern begins making his way onto his podium. "Y'know, all the home ones are scammish. Uhhh, did I mention that I don't like scams that much?" "You may not like'em much now." hisses Wyvern as he catches his breath. "But you'll grow fond of'em after a while!" With that, the overgrown lizard opens his portfolio, and a huge pamphlet lined with spots for signatures rolls out of it onto the floor, swiftly unraveling in the direction of Falcon. Falcon2001 continues to back away as he see's this. "N-now Wyv." mutters Falcon as Wyvern opens up his suitcase and takes out an Almost Dragonic Brand Sure-Fire Buyer Net™. The overgrown lizard begins tossing even more paperwork at Falcon as he slowly approaches him with the net, the lizards grin growing more sinister with each step he takes forward. "Listen Wyv." cries Falcon as he finds himself trapped at a corner and begins getting buried in paperwork. "I said that my job was killing me... but I don't wanna be involved in any suicidal lines of work either!" ;-)

"Did somebody say 'drink cart'?!" LeifTheBunny and DeanTheAdequate jump back in shock as WyvernTheRushedforGeld comes barging in through the front doors of the Recruiter's Office, shoving a large tray of drinks in front of him like a booze-loaded battering ram. The applicant and the wolfmastah stumble backwards and desperatly flail their arms in the air, failing to regain their balance as they accidentally collide into TanuchanTheUnprepared and KatzanielTheGenuinelySurprised. Wyvern chaotically comes to a breakneck halt as he reaches the center of the Office, causing several drinks on his tray to sloppily spill over and several antique wine glasses to fall and shatter on the floor. Glancing down at the tangled positions of LeifTheBunny, Tanuchan, DeanTheAdequate, and Katzaniel on the ground, Wyvern raises a brow for a moment, then curiously hisses: "Errrr, did I come at a bad time?" "N-n-no!" exclaims LeifTheBunny, managing to dislodge his left leg from its knot with Tanuchans right arm. "I believe that I ordered a drink, a stiff one to be exact. I also recently applied here, for what it's worth." LeifTheBunny frowns as Wyvern seems to ignore his last statement and begins searching through the drink cart in front of him, sorting through several eccentrically shaped bottles and glasses with his scaly claws in the hopes of finding Leif a drink that fits his description. Coming across a rare bottle of Vintage Bruteweiser Basilisk Blood (limited edition)™, Wyvern grins and grabs it in the hopes of pouring the applicant a bottle, only to find that it's empty. "Drat." hisses Wyvern, turning his eyes towards LeifTheBunny and shaking his head sadly. "Sorry Leif, it seems that we're out of the stiffest drink in the house. I'll make it up to you though, the next round of booze will only cost ten geld as opposed to the usual fi- errr... thirty." LeifTheBunny raises a brow and frowns, watching as Wyvern picks up a glass on which the words "This booze property of Brute Thinas Brute Thinas Brute" have been scrawled, the remnants of some party passed, and fills it to the brim with Bruteweiser Booze™. Handing LeifTheBunny the glass and noticing the eager and nervous expression on his face, Wyvern snaps a scaly finger and exclaims: "Ah, that's right, you're applying huh?" With that, the reptilian Elder takes out a stamp and marks LeifTheBunnys application piece ACCEPTED, handing it to him and grinning at the happy expression it produces on his face. The overgrown then casts another glance towards the empty bottle of Vintage Bruteweiser Basilisk Blood™, and frowns before hesitantly hisses: "You know, this just might be one explanation for why there hasn't been quite as much Pen activity as of late..." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application piece, LeifTheBunny, welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to reading more of your stories and offering comments and feedback on them, as well as participating with you in collaborative threads.

Wyvern practically awakens the entire Pen as he wanders towards Racouol's room at three in the morning, carrying a large metal ring on which a variety of pans clang against each other loudly. Arriving at the Bearer of Deep Pockets' door, the overgrown lizard recounts the number of different pans on the ring to double check that there are twenty four in total. Sure enough, the ring contains a pan-duh (general pan), a pan-ick (dirty pan), four clip on pan-ties, Pan-Dora's box (a pan owned by the restaurant owner Dora that actually stores other pans within it), a Pan-jjyeah (the ideal hip hop pan), a pan-cake (pan shaped like a cake), a dead-pan (a pan for cooks without any emotion), a pan-see (pan shaped like a flower for showing off), a pan-fur (a pan covered in black fur), a pan-o-rama (an elegent collection of six pans), a pan-theism (a pan used for cooking in churches), and a pan-taloon (a pan shaped like a talon, used for cooking birds). Grinning and nodding to himself, the reptilian Elder carelessly drops the ring of pans next to Racouol's door, and places the following note on top of it: "Racouol, For cooking, combat, and xylophone use (given the noise this ring seems to make, it'd be an excellent addition to the instruments of the Racouolettes). Happy Birthday! Wyv-" ;-) OOC: Have a good one, Racouol.

The Orphanage episode of "Any Given Moment" went pretty well this evening, though I think that I ultimately liked the vibe that I set in last weeks episode a bit better. Never the less, it streamed without any site difficulties and many excellent tracks by members of the Orphanage were touched upon, including a few great segments of a freestyle they did on the "To the Break of Dawn" show in Minneapolis. The Pen was shouted out, as usual, and Gyrfalcon, Valdar, Zadown, and Xaious were specifically given props amongst others. Thanks to everyone who took the time to tune in. The next episode of "Any Given Moment" will be subtitled "Speechless," and will be focussed on instrumental hip hop. Those of you who dislike rapping will be pleased to hear that there will be no hip hop vocals on this show, only well-composed music from established hip hop producers. The show will air on Friday, September 24th, and should appeal to hip hop fans and hip hop haters alike. Be sure to tune in if possible! On another note: the position for recording the shows is still open to anyone who might be interested in doing it, since nobody is recording the shows currently. Would anyone be up to looking into doing this? I know that there are several Pen members who wish to hear the show but are unable to tune in at its airing time, so any help with recording it would be greatly appreciated by a number of Pen members.

Wyvern enters into the Cabaret Room and immediately wanders up to Valdar's new Writing Exchange Program sign-up sheet, pausing for a moment upon arrival and warily glancing left and right. The reptilian Elder hisses to himself sinisterly when he notices that noone is nearby, and begins stealing letters from the names of other people on the list in the hopes of forming his own name without wasting any geld on ink. He has begun to dislodge the 'W' from "Wrenwind" and starts aiming his other hand towards Vanessa's 'V' when the distinct sound of deliberate coughing rings from a distant-yet-nearby Astral plane. The overgrown lizard quickly thinks better of tampering with peoples names, and grumbles to himself as he hesitantly pulls a quill out of his pocket... ;-) OOC: You can count me in.

Wyvern speedily dashes into the Cabaret Room and immediatly goes about setting up a large refreshment stand, loading it with numerous varieties of alcoholic beverages: Bruteweiser, Bruteweisnhyper (containing pixie stick sugar), Bruteweiser Code Pink (induces visions of pink elephants), Bud BRUighTE (comes with free flashlight batteries), BrUteD Nice (infused with pen spirits), Wineakin (Bruteweiser that tastes like wine), and Flaming Brutes (the catastrophe of any good party). The overgrown lizard then tops the stand off with a little ribbon and a card, on which he scrawls: "Happy Birthday Brute!" Having completed this, the reptilian Elder turns towards Thinas and pauses, quietly hissing as he hands the dark elf a sloppily giftwrapped book from his coat. Examining the present curiously, Thinas graciously accepts the package and carefully opens it, ever-attentative of any Almost Dragonic Brand booby traps that may be planted inside of it. The dark elf raises a brow as he opens the giftwrap without any visible difficulties, and slowly reads over the title of the tome: "The Valdar Guide to Earspeak... Almost Dragonic Brand Bootleg Addition?" "That'ssss right." hisses Wyvern gleefully, nudging the dark elf with his scaly shoulder and grinning. "It's just like the original Valdar Guide to Earspeak... the only difference is that the cute, elven girls with long ears demonstrating earspeak techniques in the original have been replaced by bald, middle-aged human men wearing Dr. Spock ears. Hope you enjoy it, Happy Birthday!" With that, the overgrown lizard dashes off, leaving Thinas staring blankly at the man wearing Dr. Spock ears depicted on the cover... ;-) OOC: Happy Birthday, Brute and Thinas!

9/7 viewed from 12/04 A man fiddles with a small metalic circle of knobs, numbers, and modern designs. Innocent in appearence, a numeric gap between 88.9 and 89.9 on the machines monitor sends him into fits. He pleads to the people surrounding him using excuses of manic depression and anxiety in the hopes of somehow correcting the problem; he is unable to operate a machine that he himself owns. So helpless, like the boy with the red cord connected to the back of his neck, gaping blankly while standing too close to the electric metro railing. The window reflects her right bra strap. Hazily suggestive, its flower designs glimmer like blooming Foxgloves miraged by heat. The strap carefully follows eyesight, centerstage, its wildflowers outlined by the silver of cloud linings, visible only by the position of her arm as it stretches to rest on the shoulder of the man sitting next to her. An old man hides his face in the funny pages as a group of young black women seat themselves in the area in front of him. Short by one seat, they dismiss the open space beside him, and instead opt for a seat behind him, jeering and exchanging jokes about the thought of sitting next to him as he desperatly attempts to bury their humor in The Boondocks.

The links are not actually broken, Tamaranis, it's just that the WRGW site has been acting somewhat erratic lately and has been down quite a bit. I think that this prevented a lot of people from listening in this evening, which is too bad since I actually had a very good show. Thanks goes out to everyone who tried to tune in... Hopefully, the site will be more stable come the time for my show next week. Site and internet streaming problems aside, the "Just Chill" episode of "Any Given Moment" went very smoothly from beginning to end. I maintained a very mellow and relaxing vibe throughout the show, and gave plenty of shout outs and dedications to the Mighty Pen crew. In this episode, a track was dedicated to Cerulean in the form of "Arabian Nights" (how many remember the "Chronicles of Terra" compilation?), Vlad was given a shout out for IMing me, and a dedication went out to Alaeha/Ayshela/Salinye/Yui through the Mestizo track "Miss Carried Fortune." I really enjoyed myself over the course of the show, and am looking forward to DJing again next week. The next episode of "Any Given Moment" is tentatively going to be themed around a hip hop super crew known as The Orphanage, which consists of MCs Slug, Aesop Rock, Eyedea, Blueprint, and Illogic. Solo material and collaborations between the various Orphanage artists will be touched upon, as well as the few tracks they've released as a collective group. Each of the MCs in this crew is incredible in their own right, so be sure to tune in on Friday! [Edit 9/12/04: Editted to add the theme of this weeks show]

A shady figure dressed in a dark cloak that fails to disguise his not-so-shady tail, claws, teeth, horns, scales, and lack of manners slowly edges his way around the corner of the corkboard, nervously turning his eyes upwards towards the word "Employment" and noticing its position next to "Opportunities" on the sign that rests above the board. The meaning of the phrase is completely lost to the lizard as his greedy reptilian brain desperatly attempts to associate honest work to opportunity, and curiousity consumes him in the form of a headache as he turns the corner to examine the corkboard more thoroughly. The reptilian Elder raises a claw to his scaly chin as he reads over Tzimfemmes messages, and a sinister grin spreads over his face as he quietly hisses to himself: "Hmmm... maybe if I marketed them right, I could pass those Almost Dragonic Brand Extra Plain Wards™ for extraplanar wards. Those defective vampire garlic bread wards really need to go, after all... they're beginning to stink up the Pen basement, and Tamaranis and Vlad both seem to be having more allergies lately." The overgrown lizard frowns upon saying this, not content with the thought of creating bad blood between himself and the resident Pen vampires over a few stolen loafs of stale bread. Turning to Tzimfemmes second message and deciding that Deep Freeze Units are too water-oriented for his tastes, the lizard skips over it and rereads the third part of her message before hissing: "I dunno about traveling through time and seperate multiverses, but naming mages I can do. Just have to remember what those different styles were... I know Asininity was one, Vacancy was another. There was one that began with an N... Neurasthenia? Yeesh, this'll never do. I'm going to have to revise my naming strategies if I want to make a good impression with a method of contact. She only wants serious names, after all." Having said this, Wyvern shrugs and begins to turn away from the corkboard when he suddenly notices a card that's been tacked below the final message. Examining the card curiously and noticing the phrase "0 - The Jester" along with the intricate rune that has been etched onto it, Wyvern immediatly translates the cards symbols by means of his universal method of Almost Dragonic translation, in which any rare rune is translated to "big money." "Ooooo, thissss looks rare!" hisses the lizard sinisterly as he snatches the card from its position on the board and promptly slips it into a pocket of his coat. "I wonder how many gamblers would be willing to pay for an ancient trump card." With that, the overgrown lizard quickly glances in both directions before dashing off towards the Cabaret Room, practicing his pronounciation of complicated names as he dissapears down a hallway. ;-)

Just a reminder to everyone at the Pen that's interested: my hip hop radio show, "Any Given Moment," starts airing again this Friday, September 10th, from 10:00 PM to 12:00 AM US Eastern Standard Time. For those of you that are unfamiliar with my show, "Any Given Moment" is a radio show that focusses on specific thematic elements of the latest in independent hip hop music, and will be aired online every Friday over the course of the next semester. I've continously given shout outs and dedications to specific Pen members over the course of my show, and several Pen members have gotten involved in the show by actually calling in and reading their works or chatting. I intend to continue this trend over the course of this next semester, and will also be offering several free giveaways and (*fingers crossed*) perhaps even an in-studio guest or two. Once again, the complete info for the show is: "Any Given Moment" Fridays, 10:00 P.M - 12:00 A.M U.S EST http://www.gwradio.com Call in: (202) 994-9749 AIM: RGWradio GW Radio offers several methods of streaming shows online, so you don't need any specific internet music programs to listen in. You can also contact me during my show to chat or comment by using AOL Instant Messanger and messanging RGWradio. The station should also be installing a new live camera in the studio so you can actually watch me as I DJ, but it doesn't seem to be up quite yet. The first show of this semester is entitled "Just Chill," and will feature 100% chill Summer jams with a touch of top ten indie stuff thrown into the mix. No better way to blow a goodbye kiss to the Summer than two hours of relaxing, catchy melodies... ;-) Once again, I really appreciate anyone who tunes into my show, as the show is largely dedicated to you guys and I like to think of the Mighty Pen as one of my primary audiences. I'm super-grateful to everyone who supports me by listening in. Speaking of listening, I know certain people have scheduling conflicts that can't be avoided which disable them from tuning in, which is why I'm going to try my best to get as many shows as I can archived in MP3 format this semester. To do this, I need someone willing to record each of my shows, and someone willing to archive them as MP3s. Degenero Angelus has done an amazing job of recording my shows in the past, and has suggested that he can record them again this semester. Are you still up to doing it, Deg? :-) Also, is there anyone who'd be willing to archive each recorded show as an MP3? Thanks in advance to all the supporters, hope some of y'all will be able to catch it Friday... I'll be doing Pen shout-outs and dedications, as usual. ;-)

This is a somewhat belated response, but I really liked your "Memory" poem Yui-chan. Using haiku effectively in English poetry can be a challenge, but I feel that you incorporated it very well into this piece. The stages of the man's abuse throughout life and its ultimate consequences are depicted through vivid details that draw the reader into the piece, and make for a good poem. In terms of potential improvements, there was one detail that struck me as somewhat odd and insignificant: "blue wind" in the first haiku of the segment that leads to the car crash. Perhaps another, more significant one-syllabel adjective could replace "blue" in that line. Also, the lines seperating the last haiku from the other haikus confused me a bit, as I was uncertain if the narrator was still referring to the man that died or if that haiku was meant to be addressed to the the man's abuser ("what you've shattered" seemed to hint at this). A very good poem, shame that it didn't get a response before!

Valdar, I recently caught up on reading "Shiny," and am still really enjoying it. I personally didn't find the siege of the gates to be too long or drawn out, as there were several original details (i.e the beserkers tossing themselves over the walls due to their lack of agility, Kitanue accidentally swatting the imp away with her breast, etc.) and lots of urgent dialogue between Kitanue and Valdar that kept it interesting. One thing I did notice about the siege segment is that it doesn't have as much comedic value as the sections before it, but the seriousness of the section seems to fit in naturally with the flow of the story and doesn't detract from it (besides, how can one make something like widespread slaughter funny?) My one major complaint about your most recent posts is that you left your last post off at an extremely tense point. ;p I can understand a weeks delay for the next post, but I'm now desperatly anticipating a paragraph explaining what the beserker saw, so pleeease don't take too long with it. ;-) On a side note: I'm not sure whether to feel sorry or envious of Valdar for the incident involving the three sisters... as if Kitanue weren't enough, eh? ;p Anyway, awesome story, I'll be looking forward to the continuation.

This evening, I saw Shambalha (Born Infinite & Agua) and a group called the Cornel West Theory for free at the George Washingston University Hippodrome. The concert opened with the Cornel West Theory (that's not the exact spelling of their name, but I can't remember it fully), a local D.C jam band. The Hippodrome was practically empty due to the show being underpromoted, and the few people that were there moved up to the front to watch them play. They played various tunes based on love and religion, but were unfortunatly not very good due to their lead singer having terrible vocals and repetitive subject matter. Their set also seemed to go on for too long for an opening act. After Cornel West Theory finished up, there was an intermission between acts in which I got to meet up with Born Infinite, who I've met several times before and who has previously given me promos of his music (which I've played on my show). He immediatly recognized me upon seeing me and gave me a large handshake/hug, and we chatted for a bit before he took the stage and performed with Agua as Shambalha. Unlike Cornel West Theory, Shambalha put on a very energetic and entertaining set which the tiny crowd enjoyed. I think that Born Infinite may currently be D.Cs strongest local hip hop act, though D.C has never had much of a scene truth be told. After their set had finished, I bought a copy of his official album and hung around to chat with him and Agua for a bit. Overall, it was worth going to to see Shambalha perform and chat with Infinite, but Cornel West Theory was a lot to endure.

Wyvern steps into the Cabaret Room, scratches his scaly chin as he reads over the topic and discussions, and then hisses: "I'd ssssimply like to note that this is not in fact the last straw... Almost Dragonic Brand 100% All Natural Straws™ are still on sale at relatively low prices. Almost Dragonic Brand 100% All Natural Straws™... made out of real straw!" Wyvern pauses for a moment as several angered customers with punctured lips turn towards him, wielding pitchforks and buckets of sour milk. "Errrr... of course, those straws could also be a proven problem for several people, considering that the needles never were removed from those haystacks in the process of their creation." With that, the overgrown quickly departs from the scene, censoring the topic of straws on his way out in the hopes of avoiding barnyard shotguns and aggravated bulls.

I think that this is an excellent poem, Mira. Noting that the poem is based on a real bridge at the beginning may be somewhat unnescessary, as I feel that the details of the poem make it immediately apparent to the reader. Powerful imagery and evocative original details flow throughout this piece, and the narrators own involvement with Bogue Street Bridge elevates it to something touching and personal. Very well done... my only recommendation might be to change "lie" to "lay" in the third line of the second stanza, as that's the word that seems to be implied there. Great stuff!

8/31/04 An old man with a white beard remarks how beautiful the designs of the lines on the machine that monitored his pulse looked while his friends celebrate the fifth anniversary of his last heart transplant. He pays no attention, glued to his cell phone like the middle aged man behind him, like the young woman in front of him concentrating on a dial tone, like the couple sitting together, seperated by a million miles in speech in a metro car that rings with the bustling commotion of private conversations. Ethernet cards can be like elderly relatives outdated, but felt when they pass away. Or are they more like cases of puppy love? Sedating your thoughts through a mirrored display of emotion that eventually ventures above reality's own disarray. The headphone rings nestled in her pink hair cause her arms to move and her head to sway. Like an X-rated fantasy, excellent ecstasy music causes her body to play. This entry was written in a public setting over jeers of drunken freshmen outdoors providing an arrythmic background for editting.

I think that this is a very interesting poem, Loki Wyrd. I really like the mock doctor analysis that you use in the second stanza, as well as the thematic suggestion that disregarding the "nonsense" that society produces will ultimately cause people to shun you. There was one line in the poem that confused me a bit, which was the final line of the first stanza. I find the manner that the line is phrased a bit confusing, as when I initially read it I thought it meant that one should disregard nonsense and avoid it. Upon reading the second stanza, my interpretation of the line changed... Then again, perhaps this was done intentionally? Nicely done, an interesting piece.

Note: written as a continuation of Ayshela's post, purple skin detail briefly editted in for more accuracy. ... for the looming and ominous presence that slowly makes its way across the gentle sands, shifting through the crowds of babes and moving towards their inert forms. Melvin and Vinnie shake their heads in a mixture of diziness and disbelief as they slowly regain consciousness, then turn to one another and smile. Pointing a finger at Melvin and giggling madly, Vinnie exclaims: "Gee, I thought you were a goner Melv! That Wendy sure packs a punch huh? I'm guessing that that one was for the time you and Elsie decided to pass through the McDonalds drive-through just to confuse her by placing complicated orders." "Aw, shut up." grumbles Melvin, spitting sand out of his mouth and rubbing his forehead in a daze. "You didn't invite her out on a date, did you? Cus if you did..." "Naw, I didn't have enough time for that." sighs Vinnie woozily, collapsing in the sand and staring at the beautiful blue sky. "It's a shame, I didn't even have time to finish my McDonalds imitation-meat-substitute hamburger. Y'know, I think that Wendy should open her own chain hamburger restaurant and put those strong hands of hers to use. She could call it "Wendys™," and all she'd have to do is rip off the McDonalds formula while using cheaper and more mediocre recipes and products. She could be rich..." "Ya know, for someone who doesn't know the first thing about proposing to a girl, you sure do come up with some bright ideas." mutters Melvin, grinning slightly and also laying in the sand to recover. "That girl sure knows how to toss things, you should have seen the remains of the house when I called off our marriage. Man, that crash landing is gonna leave a huge bruise on my..." Melvin pauses. "... my flesh?" Both Melvin and Vinnie sit upright simultaneously as they notice that they're back in their human forms, and stare at each other in bewilderment as they see that they're both completely naked. Viewing their surroundings and immediatly noticing the flocks of bikini-clad beach bunnies observing at them with interest, they stutter in unison: "I-it's not what you think! We weren't-" "Oh, that's perfectly alright boys." purrs one of the women, kneeling in the sand and slowly crawling towards them. "We like that kinky sort of behaviour here on 'The Island.'" Many of the other beach babes grin and nod to this, and slowly begin to approach, whispering amongst themselves about the color that purple might turn in heat. Melvin and Vinnie cast glances of shock and awe to one another, then Vinnie whispers: "T-t-this is incredible. I didn't even have to buy them flowers or take them to the movies. Though admittedly, this almost takes the fun out of it..." "This is horrible." whimpers Melvin as the women approach closer. "Do you have any idea of how long it's gonna take to marry and divorce all of these girls?! Quick, bury me in the sand." The beach bunnies suddenly cease approaching as a looming and ominous figure pushes through them and halts at the clearing where Melvin and Vinnie lay. The looming form cracks his knuckles and flashes a sinister grin, revealing a single gold tooth amongst rows of pristine white ones. "W-who?" mutters Vinnie nervously, slowly backing away as the man radiates a menacing aura of bad-assness. "They call me Turbo Ted." mutters the man with a hint of bitterness, adjusting the government-issue sunshades on his face and smirking evilly. "I drive a bus/con people out of their money through highly-rigged Poker games for a living. You are currently laying on my beach, surrounded by my beach bunny harem, breaking my 'No Skinny Dipping' rule on my 'The Island' which I bought with my own hard-earned money. What do you have to say to that, punks?" "Errrr..." jitters Melvin nervously, shifting his position in the sand. "Share and share alike?" "Listen you two." growls Ted, breaking his normally cool composure for a moment and scowling. "The punishment for trespassing on 'The Island' is a slow and painful lava-needle torture atop Mount Fury, followed by a high dive into an extremely shallow pond inhabited by wild barracudas. Prepare to suffer." "W-what do we do, Melv?" whispers Vinnie in a panic, fear written in his eyes. "I'm too young to die... plus I hate high diving." "What do we do?" echoes Melvin, determination suddenly replacing the nervousness once written on his visage as he lifts himself to his feet. "We show him who's boss, that's what!" "Hah!" exclaims Turbo Ted, flexing his muscles and tearing through the fabric of his shirt in the process. "You pipsqueaks are no match for me. I run this 'The Island.'" A soft murmer briefly rings out from the beach babes in the crowd as they stand in admiration of Turbo Ted's impressive biceps. This only further aggrevates Melvin. "Listen Ted." growls Melvin, clenching his fists. "My one hundred and seventeenth ex-wife Wendy could toss you all the way across the Ocean, and I can definitely rip you a new one. Vinnie and I have come a long way to reach this point, and have picked up many techniques in our travels. Isn't that right, Vinnie?" Vinnie offers no response as he continues rapidly digging a hole in the sand in the vain hopes of escaping from 'The Island.' "Oh yeah, punk?" mutters Turbo Ted. "Let's see what you've got." Melvin perks his head up and flashes a confident grin as over-the-top anime energy begins surrounding him. He then breaths in a deep breath and cries: "Learned from the penguins of Antartica... Catupult Highkick Tuxedo Twirl III!" With that, Melvin suddenly jumps high into the air as if being shot by a catapult, and performs a pointless yet impressive triple twirl backflip in the air, only to arrive back down wearing an elegent tuxedo suite (and nothing else). The beach bunnies once again break into a soft murmer, impressed by the class and finesse of the technique. "So, Ted ol' chap." mutters Melvin politely, adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves. "What do you say to that?" Turbo Ted raises a brow curiously, then shrugs and charges at Melvin, landing a massive uppercut on him that immediatly knocks him out cold. "That'll teach you better than to call me 'chap.'" mutters Ted cooly, turning towards the pathetic hole that Vinnie is digging and cracking his knuckles...

8/26ish/04 A sweaty, black T-shirt acquired from a hip hop performer who read childrens books on stage, and paraded his cock to whore attention. His moniker is reflected upon mirrors and computer screens once the monitor has gone blank: "Dopestyle 1231." The one thousand, two hundred and thirty-first rapper to not be able to count to four. She rambles on about the Olympics, Women's Beach Volleyball - Misty May and what's-her-name. She shouts about how she became exhausted simply watching the American team play on television while vacationing at the beach. She notes that Misty said something after winning a medal about how the vibrant crowds gave her energy. She sprinkles her phrases with cheap champagne and scewers hints of denial with hateful tones and sharpened corkscrew glances. She constantly repeats the names of those listening or those pretending to listen, clinging to "uh-huhs." She inevitably participates in an Olympic exercise since she makes sure that the meager spotlight she sees is always specifically focussed on her. 8/27ish/04 "Q & A" What kind of poem starts with a question? A questionable poem.