Wyvern

Very interesting story, Jade. :-) The concept of Corrie and Chris turning into apples was intriguing, and reminded me of medieval folklore about children growing out of the ground. I also really liked the phrasing and the casual tone in which Sarah May told the story, as I felt that it gave her her own voice and made for a very interesting narrative. I loved a number of the original details that you incorporated as well, especially the birds singing "E-I-E-I-O" and the apple-seed-spitting habit of Chris. One thing that felt a bit awkward to me in this story was the framed narrative. The references to Sarah May's actions in the third person inbetween her narrations seemed a bit out of place to me, as the actual story is told to us through her point of view. I think that the story could be strengthened if it was entirely told from Sarah May's perspective, as this would keep it focussed on her narrative. Sarah's actions in the present could still be mentioned, just in her first person voice. Also, I was a bit uncertain what caused Chris and Corrie's transformations into apples... When they fell, did they bruise themselves on the apple seeds? Very good story overall, Jade. Thank you for sharing it.

I also really liked this poem, Arashi. :-) Like Loki Wyrd, I found the details very evocative and original, and particularly liked the four opening lines of the piece. The imagery was well done throughout it, and I found the message of the poem very strong. In terms of possible things to improve: I was a bit uncertain as to what group the "we" of this poem was addressed to. Given the poems specificity, I almost feel that a first person "I" might work better as a perspective... Alternately, the "we" of the poem could be strengthened if the group it refers to is insinuated or specified more. Once again, great poem Arashi.

I'll echo the comments of others by saying that I really liked the presentation of "Anarchist," Yui. :-) I thought that the creative uses of chaotic text spoke well to the notion of anarchism, and think that this piece fits nicely into your "IST" series. I agree with Katzaniel that the thorough uses of rhyme and meter caught me off-guard given the chaos of the rest of the piece, but I think it adds an interesting sense of irony to the poem. A minor thing: I generally follow the stream of conscious in the poem, but am a bit uncertain where the crossed out "phookin earz hang low" statement came from. I really like the manner that the statement is crossed out and replaced with a declaration rejecting patterns, though... Definitely ironic, as noted before. Great stuff.

Wyvern clears his throat of a few ashes and steps to the front of the judging tables. The lizard spits to the ground like a cobra, then rummages for his flashcards on the tabletop. "What is up to all of you hip cats in attendence?" Wyvern hisses the words venomously. "I, the Mighty Judge Wyvmettic, have reached my set of scores for this round of slam poetry. Do you dig what I am saying?" Wyvern whips out a few sheets of paper and waves them in the air for a moment, now grinning. Vlad, Ayshela, and revery all cast the lizard odd glances. The murmers of the audience recede to silence. Wyvern tosses the flashcards over his shoulder and begins reading from his sheet, savouring every word. "In order to judge such a fine group of slam poets, I used the Aardvark Rating System Engine. And here, ladies and gents, are the results:" Revery raises a finger as Wyvern begins reading off his scores. "The ratings: Loki Wyrd's Reading: Told in second person: -10 points Leaves reader with a cold, sickly feeling: 15 points Uses assonance: 5 points Marketing Figures deemed justifiable: 30 points Puke-inducingly small children strapped down and exposed to E. Coli: 50 points Potentially marketable Energizer Bunny® plug: 30 points Energizer Bunny relentlessly bangs on his own drum: -15 points "Penetration" used to describe banging: -10 points Bracket breaks for breathers: 5 points Lack of Bribe: -99 points Overall: -10 + 15 + 5 + 30 +50 + 30 - 15 - 10 + 5 - 99 = 1 point --- cryptomancer's Reading ("To morning I summon my heart"): Told in first person: 10 points Protagonist lives to see another day: 5 points Uses alliteration: 5 points Lack of comic dance routine in repeated steps: - 10 points Rain water and wetness extensively looked down upon: 30 points Bed bondage weighed down by lead: - 5 points Heart backs down, but Muscle never closes itself: 20 points Protagonist lives in his own personal threshold: 15 points Fitness crazes with numeric breath timers: 15 points Hill with dew marketing potential is conquered: 15 points Lack of Bribe: - 99 points Overall: 10 + 5 + 5 - 10 + 30 - 5 + 20 + 15 + 15 + 15 - 99 = 1 point --- Gabriel's Reading: Told in first person: 10 points Leaves reader with warm fuzzy feeling: 15 points Uses alliteration: 5 points Protagonist is Archangelic: 15 points Ultra-modern, brain communication technique used in reading: 50 points Beaches referenced just in time for Summer: 10 points Heart smiles after getting closed down in other poems: - 10 points Unhindered gait only results in beach relaxation: - 15 points Protagonist's religious background is demonstrated on sand: 20 points Lack of Bribe: - 99 points Overall: 10 + 15 + 5 + 15 + 50 + 10 - 10 - 15 + 20 - 99 = 1 point ---- drummondo's Reading: Told in first person: 10 points Second person also used, but only to insult: 10 points Uses assonance: 5 points Uses alliteration: 5 points Poem treated as a slam poem: 50 points Keeps it real wit the language: 20 points Word "soaked" used to describe bling, implying wetness: - 20 points Late-Great-Grandfather Clock's chimes are unenthusiastic: - 10 points Poems rejects the concept of rating systems like this one: 10 points Poet is a swooner, thus offering potential competition to Thomas: 10 points Curses and swearing intertwined: 5 points Poet never swears on any particular curse: - 5 points Poem can be chanted to boost street cred: 10 points Lack of Bribe: - 99 points Overall: 10 + 10 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 20 - 20 -10 + 10 + 10 + 5 - 5 + 10 - 99 = 1 point --- Mira's Reading ("Daedelus Son"): Told in third person: 10 points Uses alliteration: 5 points Cruel Gods granting moments of absolute realization as evil jokes: 30 points Highly marketable single prayer never actually revealed: - 10 points Icarus drowns, once again placing an emphasis on water: - 20 points Attempts to beat the crap outta the water: 20 points Wax proves to be more solid than the dew found in previous poems: 10 points Useless wings similar to those of Mighty Judge Wyvmettic: 25 points Whirld is cleared out in a blink: 20 points Lack of Bribe: - 99 points Overall: 10 + 5 + 30 - 10 - 20 + 20 + 10 + 25 + 20 - 99 = 1 point" The audience and judges stare in silence, wondering if the reptilian Elder is actually serious. Wyvern cackles and raps his claws against his empty "Bribery Bin." "Looksss like a tie in my book." Wyvern sneers and points a claw at the slam poets. "Mighty Judge Wyvmettic declares a rating of 1 for all!"

Wyvern forces a smile as Mira reads off the final slam poem of the evening, trying to ignore the ever-present owl talons digging into his scaly shoulders. He applauds with the rest of the judges and audience, and winks to Mira as he passes by and dips his hand in the bribery bin. Satisfied with the sound of a clinking coin, the reptilian judge cringes smugly and jerks back into his seat. Wyvern finally relaxes as the owls depart from his shoulders to pay Nyyark a visit. He raps his claws nervously on the tabletop as Nyyark mentions the leech farm, suddenly remembering a peculiar Almost Dragonic Marketing Incident best left buried in the Pen's sewer system. The lizard clears his throat loudly. "Hey, look everyone!" Wyvern shouts at the top of his lungs. He points at Judge Vlad and his charming female associate. "Vlad is judging, what a classy lich of a judge he is! And his companion's a looker too... give this couple a round of applause!" An awkward moment of silence passes, then a round of applause fills the room. Vlad glares in Wyvern's direction, his undead cheeks almost brightening at the lizard's diversion. The reptilian Elder perks his ears up for any signs of leech conversations, then breaths a sigh of relief and closes his beady eyes. The moment of truth. The lizard's claws make their way to the edge of the "Bribery Bin," almost acting on their own will. They eagerly reach into the depths of the bin, brushing along sides and fingering at air until they come across... nothing. "Well!" Wyvern lets out an oafish grunt and turns his snout to the sky. "I have just the system to judge this set of slam poets. Jusssst the system." The overground lizard lets out a diabolical gale of laughter, and proceeds to scribble a set of scores for reverie to review.

Wyvern cackles over a successful con for a moment, then scrawls a few responses on the back of a spare IRS threat letter: 0. Christina Ricci 1. posed 2. superfluous 3. magically enchanted 4. sixpack 5. ancient chest 6. Almost Dragonic Brand Limousine 7. ass 8. violently strangled 8.5. Grimmael 9. "I 10. strategical 11. groped 12. Joat mask 13. nekkid Having written this, Wyvern hands Vlad the letter, glances in both directions, and skidaddles.

"Not shiny yet," hisses Wyvern after revery has finished introducing the judges. He taps a claw twice on the "Bribery Bin" that rests at his side. "But please, slam poetsss, do consider a small donation to go along with revery'sss intro. I promise that it will go to a good cause. Namely, the cause of your being included in my judging decisions." The reptilian Elder sneers as the assembled slam poets cast him awkward glances. He then cocks his scaly feet onto the pannel table, knocking over Ayshela's tall Mocha Capuccino. "Oh, and remember, always refer to me as the Mighty Judge Wyvmettic when you speak to me." Wyvern winks in the direction of the slam poets. "Otherwise, your poem fails." The slam poets murmer amongst themselves. Wyvern claps his claws twice and lets out an obnoxious whistle. "Waiiiiiiittttreeeeessssssss! Can I get a glittery crown that fits a head with horns, a large peacock feather, a tall glass of melted chocolate and a soothing massage? And make it snappy!" ---- Shiny the Elder Dwarf bumps into spectator after spectator, her vision blocked by a large gem that rests in front of her face. She guides herself by touch until a hand falls upon her gold-plated, jewel-studded shoulder. "Shiny, right?" "Yeah," comes a muffled voice from under the jewels. "But tonight, my name's Glitzy. Who're you?" The sound of a rustling bag answers her. She pauses for a moment as a hand grabs her other shoulder. "Hey! What're you-" The bag is tied shut with a *clink.* ---- Sexy the Elder Dwarf mulls over a bottle of white wine at the Slam Quest bar. He sighs and lifts it to his lips, downing a shot. "Say," grunts the bartender. "Ain't you that, uhh, that Dwarf? The Sexy one?" "Kinda," murmers Sexy glumly. He brushes a speck of dust from his purple furry coat. "This evening, I've been nicked Sleazy. Go figure, psssshhhh." "Why so glum?" "Well, you see that waiter over there?" Sleazy points a finger at Thomas. "Thanks to that guy, I just haven't been able to get my mack on correctly this evening. Why, if he was half his size-" "Hey, hey, cool it." The bartender casts Sleazy a patronizing look. "Lemme get you another drink." ---- Bravery the Elder Dwarf makes his way through the Conservatory crowds as Loki Wyrd begins reading his poem. The dwarf's guns clink against each other as he turns in the direction of Guido, and he tightens his bandana upon spotting him. "Hey, pig." Bravery strikes a macho pose, claiming "realer than real" status. "You like rappin bout' shootin dem guns, don't ya? Well, let's see ya use'em, tough guy." Guido raises a brow at the Elder Dwarf. "Brav'ry? What're youse doing?" "Not Bravery this evening." The Dwarf undoes a few bonds on his back, and picks up two large tommy guns. He wavers from side to side under their weight. "Tonight, the name's Thuggity! Represent, represent fool!"

Nice story, Xaious. :-) I thought that the descriptions worked very well throughout it, and maintained a tone of desperation up until the change at the end. I also really liked the indirect manner that the protagonist's concerns are dealt with, as the visions were a very interesting twist. I found the opening paragraph of the piece particularly engaging, and thought the initial image of his position of despair worked very well. In terms of potential improvements: while the protagonist's concern and anxiety for the woman became apparent over the course of the narrative, I was uncertain of why he was so concerned about her. "Worrying too much" is a decent excuse, but I'd imagine there must be some sort of fear causing the protagonist to have these visions, and I didn't pick up on what it was exactly. One way to improve this might be to offer interactions with the woman in his visions rather than just describing her, as her character is essential to understanding what is causing the protagonist to worry. Also, while I appreciated the bold experimentation with language, I wasn't too big a fan of the alternative phrasing of "he" in sentences (i.e: "His eye wiped he, conspiratorial drops attempting escape"). Too Yoda-like for my tastes. ;-) Very nicely done overall, Xaious. It's nice to see you posting again.

I'll just echo the comments of others by saying that I thought your second dream log was great, Sweetcherrie. Very horrific and disturbing... I too found it difficult to read, as the monstrous imagery was very gut-wrenching and vivid throughout it. Strangely, the most frightening part of the story for me was the ending, which seemed less dream-like than the rest of the piece. The dread that the lover invokes in the protagonist about children and the final reference to a "hellish creature" really gave me chills. Great stuff, once again. :-) This story left me in a cold sweat.

Wyvern enters into his Office with a grunt, dismissing ~O~ as one of his portable crystal balls. He concentrates on sorting through a number of envelopes in his claws, each of them brandished with a skull-and-crossbones tag and a bloody wax seal. The reptilian Elder sighs and tosses the letters onto the enormous mess on his desktop, then turns to ~O~ and begins waving his claws over the orb's head. "Hmmm, isss this thing working? Hello? Check, one two? If this is feeding through to Ozymandias' Office, I'd just like to report more pirate hate mail. Ssseems to be getting serious, they've found out about Madoka's flock... Hmph, what's wrong with this thing?" Wyvern taps ~O~'s forehead twice, then jumps upon noticing his pair of wings. The lizard stutters as ~O~ repeats his statement. "*Ahem." So, does the Pen want to apply to me, or not?" Wyvern looks at the wings, then at the orb, and finally stammers: "Uhmmm... actually, the Pen has already invested in the Frequent Crystal Ball Caller Minutes Program™, though I must say I love the add. Quite a snazzy look... the wings are supposed to reflect ssspeed right?" ~O~ attempts to shake his "head," but only twirls in place. "Wyvern... I'm the winged orb, remember?" "Oh." Wyvern considers for a moment, then snaps a claw and perks up. "Oh right! Sorry about that, I mistook you for somethi- I mean someon- I mean, for another orb." "Right." ~O~'s blank crystal expression remains blank. "How about my offer though? Will the Pen apply to me?" "Hmmm..." Wyvern scratches his scaly chin, then digs into one of his pant pockets. "Only one way to find out." "Very well. I await your response." Wyvern grins as he pulls out an Almost Dragonic Brand Leaky Squid Ink Pen™. The overgrown lizard then taps the pen on ~O~'s smooth surface and begins doodling small moneybag shapes on it. The squid ink rests in place for only a moment, however, before trickling off of ~O~'s form. "Well." Wyvern drops the pen back into his pant pocket. He cringes as it explodes within and soaks his pants with squid ink. "This pen ink didn't seem to apply to you, I'm afraid."

Wyvern rushes into the Cabaret Room as fast as his scaly legs can carry him, panting and letting off a few smoke rings. The lizard screeches to a halt once he's made his way to the center of the room, then signals with one claw to two Elder Dwarves standing in the corner. Bravery and Sexy both hoist up a large banner covered with the remains of an Almost Dragonic Brand 100% Indestructable Blimp™ and carry it to the center of the chamber. Wyvern clears his throat of a few ashes, then exclaims: "Almosssst overlooked, but not quite! There's a pennite whose birthday was yesterday, and who deserves a nice round of applause... Since I know he's fond of art, I tried my claws at a little portrait to commemorate him with." Wyvern beams proudly, then signals to the Elder Dwarves. They uncover the banner, only to reveal a badly torn canvas with claw markings straying in every direction. "Happy Birthday, Alzorath!" Wyvern pauses, noticing the confused looks on the faces of pennite spectators. "What, it's a finger painting... Yeesh, none of you have any appreciation for the 'abstract!'" ;-) OOC: A belated Happy Birthday to Alzorath, who turned 22 yesterday (May 26th). (Note: was going to post the signatures that Gyrfalcon and Yui made for me based on Alzorath's Wyvern drawing, but tags weren't allowed.)

I also really liked this vignette, Vlad, and agree with Sweetcherrie that the vivid descriptions really drew me into the setting and situation. I thought that the personal impressions of the narrator were shown very well throughout, and made his emotions tangible over the course of the narrative. I also loved a number of the details brought up in the narrators thoughts, such as the description of the reversed writing process and the womans changing face. In terms of possible things to improve: while I thought the impressions were phrased well for the most part, I wasn't as big a fan of the personifications of objects and sounds, namely the "pure and innocent" curtains and the noise as a "lost child." These particular personifications struck me as a bit more highbrow than the rest of the piece, and seemed a bit forced in the context of the narrators other thoughts. Perhaps if these images were expanded upon and connected to the narrators personal life or history, they'd become more meaningful and evocative. Great stuff... did I mention that the Sinatra opener was brilliant?

Wyvern steps into the Cabaret Room and examines Patrick's wooden sign with a magnifying glass, a spectacle, and a measuring stick. After careful examination, the lizard clears his throat and hisses: "Hmmm... a nice add, and one that might fit better in the Mighty Pen's News columns, I believe. You may want to PM this advertisement to our resident news specialists Yui and Merelas, and they'll put it up and make sure the public takes notice. Here in the Cabaret Room, it's bound to get lost and forgotten in the clutter." Having said this, the lizard bows, packs away his equipment, and saunters out in awkward splinter-induced movements.

I like this poem, Arashi. The wording and imagery of the poem struck me as interesting and original, particularly with the depiction of the muse burning at the stake and the reference to binding wings to flesh. The line "Regale my conscience by saying its all for liberty" also definitely hit a cord with me, and seemed to make the poem resonate on a political scale. In terms of potential improvements, the last two lines of the poem weren't as evocative as the rest of the piece to me, and seemed a bit blunt when compared to the other lines. Perhaps you could expand upon them with a vision of the end of the world, rather than a statement. Also, I felt that some punctuation might work well in this poem, as reading it all in one go is a bit difficult. Very nicely done, once again. :-)

The doors to the Conservatory swung open once again, causing several slam poets in attendence to turn. Silly the Elder Dwarf raced into the room and made his way onto one of the judging pannel tables, a number of flashcards stacked under one of his arms. The orangutan then pounced upwards and curled his toes around a ventilation pipe connected to the ceiling. He hung upsidedown and pulled out the cards. At that moment, Bravery the Elder Dwarf, Sexy the Elder Dwarf, and Shiny the Elder Dwarf all rushed into the room from different angles. Bravery was dressed in militant greens and blacks. His movements were sluggish due to the wide variety of guns that hanged from his coat, and a colorful bandana was tied to his forehead. Sexy, on the other hand, had on a furry purple jacket and a large top hot. He moved with a swagger as his mini gold-studded walking cane tapped along the Conservatory floor. Aside from a small tuft of green hair, Shiny the Elder Dwarf (in her last appearence as Elder Dwarf) was practically invisible... bling-bling jewelery covered her from head to toe. She looked like a miniature jewel golem. The pennites in attendence stepped back as the three Elder Dwarfs began jumping up and down in place. Bizarre lighting effects began flaring across the Conservatory, and Silly got his flashcards ready. The jumping Dwarfs began chanting in unison: "Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo! Yo!" A strange off-key beat cued up in the background, with drum breaks and horn samples blaring left and right. The voice of Shady the Elder Dwarf spoke from the shadows in a smooth tone. "Introducing..." "Yo! Yo! Yo!" "... the first slam judge of the evening..." "Yo! Yo! Yo!" "... please welcome..." "Yo! Yo! Yo!" *phat horn sample* "... Wyyyyyvmettic!" "YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! YO! LET'S GO!" Wyvern stepped into the room, dressed in an awful combination of worn plaid and baggy blue jeans. The overgrown lizard adjusted his golfing cap sideways for street cred, and struck a wanna-B-boy stance. The tinted copper W medallion hanging from his neck glinted as he reached for his enormous sunglasses and pulled them off. The lizard squinted in the direction of Silly's flash cards, oblivious to the fact that his geld piece boxer shorts were clearly visible given the state of his pants. "YO! YO! YO! YO! WYV! HE'S GONNA! START! THE SHOW!" "Errr..." Wyvern squinted, and took out a microphone. Static screeched through the halls for a moment, causing the lighting, chanting, and music to stop. "Oy. Ummm, Sid... ciiitemvyyyyyW...?" Silly suddenly realized he was holding the flashcards upside down, and flipped them around. "Ah." Wyvern cleared his throat and let out a nervous chuckle. "Yo. Dis Wyvmettic. What is up to all of my hipsters here in the audience tonight? I am ready and willing to get down and shake it a few times, for all of my slam poet type people. Do you dig what I am saying?" The crowd stared in silence for a long moment in mixed horror and fascination. Wyvern walked to his seat at the judging pannel table, staring upwards as Silly flipped to another card. "Now, I know that all of my hip hopping people, like Missster Bunny, are most definitely getting down with the grooves. That is why Wyvmettic decided to make the appearence, because our slam poet cousins are so close." Wyvern struck a thumbs up and Silly hopped down from his position. The mini orangutan tossed his flashcards onto the table and then went to join the rest of the crowds. Wyvern pocketed the cards, then pointed to a large bin next to his seat. The bin vaguely read "Donations Bin for the Charity of Cute, Innocent Kittens," but the words were crossed out and the phrase "Wyvern's Bribery Bin" was graffitied over them. "Now excepting bribesss for those who hope to get my vote." Wyvern grinned and patted the bin. He then spotted Mynx, and his forked tongue rolled out for a moment. "I sssee that one contestant is already aiming for my number one ssspot." ;-p

I saw two more films on DVD recently: "Meet the Fockers" and "Coffee and Cigarettes." "Meet the Fockers" is the latest comedy film starring Ben Stiller, and is every bit as bad as its title suggests. Low brow sexual humor and awkward situations in their most unwitty and predictible state. You know a film's a flop when not even the acting of Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman combined can save it from the depths of mediocrity. I'd avoid this one. "Coffee and Cigarettes" is the latest film by oddball director Jim Jarmusch, and is artsy and symbolic to the core. The film details eleven short vignettes in black and white, each of which centers around a conversation over coffee and cigarettes. Actors range from Bill Murray to Iggy Pop. The film doesn't have much action, or any central plot for that matter... Instead, Jarmusch interrelates the stories through repetition and tone. Nikola Tesla's theories of resonance are often touched upon, along with the intimate relationship between the fields of medecine and music, and the unhealthy nature of coffee and cigarettes. I thought the film dragged a bit the first time I watched it, but enjoyed it more on a second viewing. The dialogue exchanges are very realistic, and are often comic while still giving a certain sense of desperation between the characters. The cinematography of the film was also very good for the most part, though it varied a bit depending on the vignette. Overall, I liked "Coffee and Cigarettes," but would only recommend it to those who feel like analyzing a film rather than absorbing it.

Wyvern trembles in one spot, his eyes dilated and his scales slightly pale. "I saw!" The lizard points a shakey claw at a small grass clearing, surrounded by flowers. "I saw- I saw- I saw- I saw-" Wyvern shakes his head and bites his scaly lip. Sweetcherrie and Patham watch the lizard stammer while Appy continues to stare at her new treasure. After a moment, Wyvern begins to calm a bit. His trembling starts to slow, and a bit of colour returns to his scales. "You saw...?" Sweetcherrie takes a cautious step forward. She pauses as the lizard flinches. "Oh. Well, I mean, ummm." Wyvern turns his eyes to the ground and avoids eye contact. "Nothing... in particular." "Nothing?" Sweetcherrie frowns. "N-no, not really anything." Wyvern strikes a half-hearted grin. "Just, I mean... ssssay, is that a cut? You should be careful around that tiger, he's a mean one from what I've seen." Sweetcherrie touches the blood on her cheek. "Well, actually-" "And is that my ring Appy'sss holding?" Wyvern points and lets out a possessive hiss. "Give it back, or I'll call my least expensive lawyer. And hey, hey- No helping yourselves to those boutonierres... I don't care if they're on the ground, they're still ten geld a snap!"

"Excussse me," calls out Wyvern. "Can I interest you in some boutonierres? Some bush trimming perhaps? A rose for the lil woman? A Hawaiin Lei? Aww, c'mon, how about a thorn or two? Look, I have the paperwork." Wyvern reaches into his Devil's Advocate folder and pulls out a sheet of paper with a small flower doodled on it. The pursued tiger turns towards him and lets out a low roar, causing him to jump back. The animal then proceeds to continue on its way to the snack counter, its eyes still focussed on the rather delicious-looking hippo it had spotted earlier... "Yeesh," mutters Wyvern under his breath. "Why don't ya go take etiquette from Katzaniel or something, ya lousy Jungle Book reject. Awww, who'm I kidding." Wyvern sighs and drops his basket of boutonierre roses, along with his Almost Dragonic Brand Hedge-Hawg Eradicator Garden Trimming Utensil™. He digs his claws into his pockets and leans back against a soft bush of poison ivy, pondering what activities might work well in such a sweet-smelling garden. He pauses as his claws meet with a ring. "Ahha!" Wyvern digs out the Ring of Hallucinations from his pocket. He stares at it for a long moment. "Might as well try it on now, maybe the smells will-" ---- Stalks don't stalk but the flowers twirled and W sensed scents like living things. They spoke non-sensical, broken phrase. Flower stem but the tiger stripes floated and roses colored orange-black, a feral swirl. Pretty though, make a good pattern like... pattern-like the flowers danced. Bushes of thrones of flowers of gardens of the sweetest cherries. Owl eye in his direction. It was sluggish, without british accent. Toothy yawn spills magnolia pettles, wisk W away. "I pollen pettle, Appy sit." W smiled at flowers dancing spreading sparkles, sparkling sky. Dark, like the drops that sat and laughed at rain dances, too lazy to leave cloud cushions. Pretty pollen sparks, wild pansy fireworks and the orchids dated the lilys under... The stars of the show were proud hibiscus. Started growling, but stripe roses wouldn't starve. Startled, W went with crowds of blooms in starch. Roofed it until the crowds crowded, pettle flock crowd of flowers starboard bound. No more dances, the flowers stood. They wilted. Stark. Barren, except... except... --- Sweetcherrie and Appy turned as a horrific almost dragonic scream pierced the quiet party

Wyvern cheers for Sweetcherrie's new madlib, and sets about scheming a few diabolical responses... 1.a Pen member - Signe the Sexy 2.animal - Zool's rubber chicken 3.Verb that signifies moving - waltz 4.a Pen member - Orlan the Sexy 5.animal (plural) - Cambronne's fleas 6.verb - taunt 7.place - behind the banana bush of Gwaihir's greenhouse 8.an event - Vlad's Initiation to Lich 9.verb - multiply 10.verb - sacrifice 11.noun - random zombie 12.verb - mesmerize 13.adjective - undead 14.noun - bloated walrus Wyvern bows to Sweetcherrie, hands her the ash stained napkin he used to write the responses on, and flashes her an incorrigable grin.

I saw the film "Hotel Rwanda" last night on DVD. I had heard many good reviews of it prior to renting it, and also noticed that it had been nominated for several oscars. After watching it, I must say that I wasn't very impressed with it. On the positive side of things, the film deals with a very interesting subject, as it details a hotel that becomes a refuge for Tutsis in Rwanda during their conflict with the Hutu militia in 1994. The movie shows the meaninglessness of the hatred that can arise between different cultures, as well as the underlying elements of racism that still exist in America. Don Cheadle played the role of the hotel manager very well in the film, especially with his facial expressions which really got across his emotions well. What I didn't like about this movie, however, was the script. I thought that the dialogue of the movie was far too stilted and unrealistic... Its only focus seemed to be to drive across the themes of the film, and as a result of this the message was driven across very bluntly throughout. This really dragged down the film and made it much less interesting for me, as being beaten over the head with the themes repeatedly made it seem somewhat cheap and gimmicky. Overall, it was a decent film that had some captivating moments, but was not memorable and doesn't get my seal of recommendation.

Wyvern strides into the Cabaret Room and pretends to pat Jechum on the shoulder as he passes by, well-aware that such a thing is not actually possible. The lizard pauses for a moment, then squares his claws and observes the area where Jechum stands. He signals to Bravery the Elder Dwarf, who cues up a projector that causes a small twig to appear in Jechum's right hand. "Happy Birthday Jechum," hisses Wyvern. "I got you this Almost Dragonic Brand Walking Stick™... in a medium that you can hold it in, of course. Hope that you had a good one." With that, Wyvern bows to the former-Loremaster and departs, pondering whether Jechum gets any static with aging...? ;-)

Thanks for the madlib entries, everyone. For this madlib, I used A date with Elrond Peredhil by Wrenwind, which can be found in the Assembly Room. The segment that I used reads as follows: I then madlib-ized it into the following text: "It took [A Female Member of the Pen] a few days to get the smell of [An Animal] out of her hair but a little [Verb ending in “ing”] and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with [A Male Member of the Pen]. It had to be something special, quiet and [adjective]. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his [An Article of Clothing]. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a [A Mode of Transportation] to get [same Male Pen Member] to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the [A Location]. There already set up is [A Landmark] decorated with flowers and fairy lights. [adjective] music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the [same Landmark] stand his [plural noun] in matching livery [Verb ending in “ing”] like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the [Noun] and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of [A Liquid] cooling in an ice bucket. [same Female Member of the Pen] had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the [A Female Celebrity] styled organza halter [An Article of Clothing] with matching shoes and [Noun]. The frosty [A Colour] of the materiel matched the colour of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her [A Part of Body] unrestricted save for a [Noun] tucked in behind her left ear." Then, participants filled in the blanks at random, resulting in the following entries: Drummondo’s Version It took Sweetcherrie a few days to get the smell of kitty out of her hair but a little giggling and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Cryptomancer. It had to be something special, quiet and sly. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in half a pair of trousers. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a large piece of wood atop several rolling pins to get Cryptomancer to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside Ouagadougou. There already set up is a local pub decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Ticklish music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the local pub stand his headache tablets in matching livery grinding like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the guitar and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of Lemonade cooling in an ice bucket. Sweetcherrie had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Brittany Murphy styled organza halter disgruntled shoe with matching shoes and drum stool. The frosty green of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her elbows unrestricted save for a window pane tucked in behind her left ear. Tanuchan’s Version It took Ayshela a few days to get the smell of horse out of her hair but a little dreaming and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Gryphon. It had to be something special, quiet and smily. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his socks. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a four-horse team carriage to get Gryphon to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the margins of the Tiber river. There already set up is a central park decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Eerie music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the central park stand his reading glasses in matching livery yawning like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the keyboard and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of Almost Dragonic Brand Semi-Sweet Lemonoaid™ cooling in an ice bucket. Ayshela had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Gisele Bündchen styled organza halter nightgown with matching shoes and dreaming dogs. The frosty color of a lake reflecting the full moon at midnight of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her cheek unrestricted save for a swamp tucked in behind her left ear. Gwaihir’s Version It took Zariah a few days to get the smell of woodchuck out of her hair but a little hiding and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Peredhil. It had to be something special, quiet and plant-like. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his paint-stained pants. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she prays for a ride to get Peredhil to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are under Mynx’s bed. There already set up is a large bed of Wiggly Cabbages decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Fuzzy music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the bed of Wiggly Cabbages stand his stomachs in matching livery dancing like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the venules and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of Wyvern’s newest concoction cooling in an ice bucket. Zariah had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for a Tzimfemme styled organza halter article of clothing(?) with matching shoes and twig. The frosty color of the sky before a really bad storm of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to the soles of her feet unrestricted save for a card made by my student tucked in behind her left ear. Sweetcherrie’s Version It took Appy a few days to get the smell of dinosaur out of her hair but a little motivating and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Venefyxatu. It had to be something special, quiet and thirsty. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his scarf. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a camel to get Venefyxatu to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the Southpole. There already set up is an Eifeltower decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Enormous music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the Eifeltower stand his teabags in matching livery rocking like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the lamppost and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of chocolate milk cooling in an ice bucket. Appy had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Britney Spears styled organza halter flip flops with matching shoes and remote control. The frosty purple of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her hands unrestricted save for a computer tucked in behind her left ear. Patrick Durham’s Version It took Sweetcherrie a few days to get the smell of Tasmanian devil out of her hair but a little procrastinating and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Cyril Darkcloud. It had to be something special, quiet and greenish-white. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his boxer shorts. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a motorized unicycle to get Cyril Darkcloud to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the end of the world. There already set up is the Eiffel Tower decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Delicious music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the Eiffel Tower stand his particle accelerators in matching livery undoing like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the loud-speaker and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of beer cooling in an ice bucket. Sweetcherrie had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Margaret Thatcher styled organza halter pink straw hat with matching shoes and book. The frosty chestnut brown of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her tip of hair unrestricted save for a house tucked in behind her left ear. Zariah’s Version It took Lady Celes Crusador a few days to get the smell of kitty out of her hair but a little pouncing and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Vlad. It had to be something special, quiet and mysterious. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his socks. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a Broom to get Vlad to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the Mighty Pen Keep. There already set up is Gwai’s Wiggly Cabbage Patch decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Interesting music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to Gwai’s Wiggly Cabbage Patch stand his balls of yarn in matching livery smiling like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the toy mouse and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of milk cooling in an ice bucket. Lady Celes Crusador had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Laetitia Casta styled organza halter shawl with matching shoes and bugs. The frosty black of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her shoulders unrestricted save for a fruit tucked in behind her left ear. Zadown’s Version It took Yui Temae a few days to get the smell of birds of the void out of her hair but a little roaring and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Valdar Twiceborn. It had to be something special, quiet and coruscating. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his dirty, tattered cape. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a goblin-made steam-powered second-hand Void-ship to get Valdar to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside Tlaenor. There already set up is the Astral Harbor decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Puissant music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the Astral Harbor stand his runes of power in matching livery channeling like silly fools. Each one sweeps away an enchantment and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of angel blood cooling in an ice bucket. Yui had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for a Lady of the Scales styled organza halter sash with matching shoes and blade. The frosty dark crimson of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her eyes unrestricted save for a halo of brilliance tucked in behind her left ear. Alaeha’s Version It took Mynx a few days to get the smell of bunny out of her hair but a little targeting and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Wyvern. It had to be something special, quiet and snarky. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his left shoelace. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a Hoverboard to get Wyvern to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are inside a Bag of Bolding. There already set up is the World’s Largest Ball of Yarn decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Googly-eyed music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the Ball of Yarn stand his knitting needles in matching livery resembling silly fools. Each one sweeps away the paneity and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of Sovereign Glue cooling in an ice bucket. Mynx had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Amy Allen styled organza halter scarf with matching shoes and ecophobia. The frosty periwinkle of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her earlobe unrestricted save for a Quacksalver tucked in behind her left ear. Finnius’ Version It took Mynx a few days to get the smell of web-footed wombat out of her hair but a little spelunking and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Gryphon. It had to be something special, quiet and quiescant. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his tube top. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a giant, hollow dung beetle to get Gryphon to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are inside of Scarlett O Harpy’s tummy. There already set up is a floating chunk of Finnius decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Glowing music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the floating chunk of Finnius stand his rhubarb pies in matching livery skipping like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the lawn gnome and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of Ol’ Peculiar cooling in an ice bucket. Mynx had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Betty Paige styled organza halter polka dotted boxer shorts with matching shoes and propane grill. The frosty sparkling mottled green of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her pancreas unrestricted save for a giant skillet tucked in behind her left ear. Ayshela’s Version It took Sweetcherrie a few days to get the smell of platypus out of her hair but a little swinging and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Loki Wyrd. It had to be something special, quiet and splendiferous. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his white fake fur vest. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a waterski to get Loki Wyrd to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the upper left corner of Orlan’s closer. There already set up is Minta’s bag of Pixie Stix decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Silver-plated music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to Minta’s bag stand his decrepit computers in matching livery silencing like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the nun and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of navy grog cooling in an ice bucket. Sweetcherrie had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for a Tzimfemme styled organza halter micro mini skirt with matching shoes and handheld mirror. The frosty lavender blue of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her left big toe unrestricted save for a clown wig tucked in behind her left ear. Yui-chan’s Version It took Salinye’s Ogre Muse Bertha a few days to get the smell of bald cat out of her hair but a little kibitzing and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Elladan Peredhil. It had to be something special, quiet and prestigious. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in a black g-string. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a floating upside-down device to get Elladan to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside Cioden’s lavatory. There already set up is L’Arc de Triumph decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Indomitable music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to L’Arc de Triumph stand his hemmorages in matching livery expelling like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the soy milk and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of molten silver cooling in an ice bucket. Bertha had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Miss Piggy styled organza halter frilly garter belt with matching shoes and broken lock. The frosty chartreuse of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her sternum unrestricted save for a pushpin tucked in behind her left ear. Tzimfemme’s Version It took troubled sleep a few days to get the smell of hyrax out of her hair but a little shoveling and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with drummondo. It had to be something special, quiet and semi-sweet. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his white bathrobe. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a hitchhiker to get drummondo to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside Eelix. There already set up is a statue of Orlan strangling Wyvern decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Marbled music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the statue stand his staplers in matching livery sashaying like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the Coin of Endless Schemes and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of primordial ooze cooling in an ice bucket. Troubled sleep had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Lady Godiva styled organza halter orange scratch-n-sniff panties with matching shoes and self-addressed, stampled envelope. The frosty taupe of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her ankle unrestricted save for a test tube tucked in behind her left ear. Peredhil’s Version It took Tanuchan a few days to get the smell of platypus out of her hair but a little cutting and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Wyvern. It had to be something special, quiet and meritorious. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his corset. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a crawler to get Wyvern to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are beside the ceiling. There already set up is the Tower of Elders decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Delirious music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the Tower stand his ceremonies in matching livery calling like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the snot and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of snot cooling in an ice bucket. Tanuchan had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for a Tzimfemme styled organza halter underwear with matching shoes and speaker. The frosty purple of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her breasteses unrestricted save for Pen tucked in behind her left ear. Vlad’s Version It took Melba a few days to get the smell of fairy out of her hair but a little ring and lots of shampoo later her curls were free and bouncy again. Her mind now had time to begin to figure out what to do for her date with Orlan. It had to be something special, quiet and coagulative. An evening picnic but she worried that he would show up in his left sock. Come to think of it would that be so bad? So she hires a daytime froliker to get Orlan to the park to meet her. Then they enjoy a meandering walk along the paths until they are ten metres north of the statue of Wyvern outside the Recruiter's Hall. There already set up is the statue of Wyvern outside the Recruiter's Hall decorated with flowers and fairy lights. Poorly manufactured music can be heard seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. At the entrance to the statue stand his cacti in matching livery singing like silly fools. Each one sweeps away the phlegm and ushers the couple in. Inside everything is set. A table set for two with a bottle of bean juice cooling in an ice bucket. Melba had dressed with care. It had been a lovely day and would be a warm evening so she went for the Padme Amidala styled organza halter right sock with matching shoes and sock drawer. The frosty beige of the materiel matched the color of her eyes. She wore no make up and her hair was left to tumble to her tongue (in cheek) unrestricted save for a vibrating straightjacket tucked in behind her left ear. ------ Thanks to everyone once again for participating, a number of comic entries here in my opinion. Anyone can feel free to host a new Pen madlib... it's not hard, just check the instructions at the beginning of the thread. :-)

"Waddaya mean ya didn't find him?" Don Ikeelayunow shifted in his seat, shaded in the shadows. He crunched a burning cigar into his ashtray and gave it a few violent twists, deading the flames. "W-w-w-well, O Great Don Ikeelayunow we arrived at the uhh, the... y'know, the Quinkin- I can't pronounce it. Kinnyquin-." "The Quincuinglocks," interrupted Joe Mama a.k.a Loyal Ikeelayunow Underling #12. "There weren't even no glocks there, sir." "Naw, that ain't it." Al Fishy a.k.a Loyal Ikeelayunow Underling #5 cast his partner a mean glance. "You got too many guns on your mind, Joey, you know tha-" "Gentlemen." Don Ikeelayunow cleared his throat. "You're straying from the subject." Al Fishy and Joe Mama stood in silence for a moment. They shot each other nervous glances as the shadowed figure of Don Ikeelayunow raised a hand in the air and circled it a few times. An enormous, brawny mob-type immediately entered into the furnished chamber, causing the two underlings to hold their breath. The large mobster then served Don Ikeelayunow a piping hot Pizza Francescana, which measured the exact size of the Don's hand circles. Al and Joe exhaled. "Please." Ikeelayunow began delicately cutting his pizza. "Continue." "Well, sir, we uhh, we arrived at the gig. The Quincuinwhateveryawannacallit, the dime's party. And the doors was closed." "Yeah. We were thinkin of breakin in, since a few huge troll bouncers with brass knuckles ain't never scared us or nothin *ahem.* But we caught this cat, he was wearing a detective hat and seemed to be looking for something." Al Fishy nodded. "So we beat it." "You left." Don Ikeelayunow set down his silverwear. "Without hitting on Orlan?" Al and Joe exchanged a glance. "I-I beg yer pardon, sir?" "You left without humiliating your target as intended?" "Oh." The underlings paused for a long moment. "Y-yes sir." "Damn incompetent-" Don Ikeelayunow let out a sigh. "Well, what're you comin to me for? Get back out there and execute Operation Gossip Buzz as planned. You remember it, don'tcha?" Al and Joe fidgeted in silence for a moment. The Don raised his voice a bit. "Don'tcha?" "Y-yes sir!" Al Fishy reached into his pocket and pulled out an electric buzzer. "Joe and me're news reporters working for Sexy Sexy Monthly, and we want an interview with the Sexy Sexy Man." "Then, when Al shakes his hand." Joe picked up a large camera at his feet. "He gets the shock, and I take the pictures. Soon, hundreds of magazines have pictures of Orlan in a shocking state." "And humiliation is ours." "Good." Ikeelayunow began cutting his pizza again. "Now get to work. He should be hangin around them same quarters. You know how them male celebs do with their 'Mightier than the Sword' business. Report back here tommorow, and don't forget the price of failure." "W-we won't, O Great Don Ikeelayunow! One additional adjective of praise to your name for every failed mission." "That's right." The shadows seemed to grin. "And if you ever get tongue-tied, you'll be sleeping with the dishes... as a full-time dishwasher." Al and Joe nodded, and both of them shuddered at the thought. As they exited from the Don's chamber, Joe Mama sighed. "Say, Al." Joe looked over his large camera glumly. "I don't s'pose we could exchange dis camera for one dat looks like a gun before we-" "Oh would you shaddup."

I just wanted to say that I've read through what's been posted of this story so far and am enjoying it. I feel that a number of the characters in this piece are already quite well-developed in terms of their histories, family relationships, and quirks. The use of several points of view makes it hard for me to identify an obvious protagonist in the piece, which may work to the stories advantage in presenting several sides to the conflict at hand. I also love a number of the original details that have been incorporated so far, particularly the "cheese grater" voice of the beggar and the duel meaning of "siagarna," both of which struck me as excellent and evocative. In terms of potential things to improve upon in the story: I felt that the first post was somewhat expositional and could be alluded to in the interactions of characters rather than explained in an introduction. Also, while I find Garrick the most well-developed character so far, I didn't always feel like his emotions were reflected well given his background. He seems rather non-chalant and unaffected by the death of Captain Larusso, who he seemed to know very well. Finally, while I love the details for the most part, I'm not as big a fan of the poison dart that kills the beggar or the hooded cloak and glowing eyes of the stranger, both of which seemed a bit more typical in terms of fantasy details. Once again, I'm finding this an enjoyable read, so keep up the good work! I hope you folks are having fun writing this together. I'll be on the look-out for new posts.

Here's a new madlib to help people get their creative motors running: 1) A Female Member of the Pen 2) An Animal 3) Verb ending in "ing" 4) A Male Member of the Pen 5) Adjective 6) An Article of Clothing 7) A Mode of Transporation A Location 9) A Landmark 10) Adjective 11) Plural Noun 12) Verb ending in "ing" 13) Noun 14) A Liquid 15) A Female Celebrity 16) An Article of Clothing 17) Noun 18) A Colour 19) A Part of Body 20) Noun Instructions at the beginning of this thread for those who haven't played before and would like to try... participation is encouraged!