Wyvern

While the turmoil between contestents continues backstage, one of the armor-clad Elder Dwarves passes through the audience handing out small flyers. He clunks through the rows of soot-covered spectators until he reaches the judging pannels, where he passes out a flyer to each of the judges. Mynx, Gryphon, and Peredhil all stare at the small notes in unison, and glance towards one another as they read them over. --- Wyvern presents... Post-Pageant Pen A short musical dedicated to Wyvern, starring... Wyvern as Wyvern Sexy the Elder Dwarf as Orlan Various troll bouncers as miscellaneous almost dragon worshippers. Music provided by the Fumblefound Orchestra, as seen in Gyrfalcoshowzen --- The audience murmurs as the orchestra begins warming up in the orchestra pit, humming out the tune of "She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain When She Comes" with a variety of instruments. The only instrument that sounds out of tune is the tuba, which squacks out notes in nervous blurts. The music gradually quiets as the lights dim, and the curtain pile is pushed to the side by two troll bouncers. A spotlight pierces the darkness and falls upon Wyvern, who kneels in formal attire with his scaly head bowed. Clutching a microphone in one claw, the lizard raises it to his scaly lips and croons: Oh before the Beauty Pageant I was small, Dismissed for schemes all labeled 'off the wall.' But once declared the victor you shall ssseeeeeee, The Mighty Pen will be based around meeeeeee! Wyvern jumps up from his kneeling position and spreads out his arms, breaking out into a grin. He places a crooked top hat on his head as the music becomes more upbeat and bouncy, and begins skippety-hop-tapping around the stage as he sings. Oh the Pen will be a different place when I, Can get a Quincunx kiss without a pie. The tax collectors will all turn and fleeeeeee, The Mighty Pen will be based around meeeeee! Flutes cue up in the background as Sexy the Elder Dwarf enters stage left, the tag on his shirt labeled "Orlan." He approaches Wyvern hesitantly with what appears to be an autograph book. Oh even Orlan will watch me in awe, The greatest Pen icon he ever saw. The Bachelor Auction will be hissstoryyyyyy, The Mighty Pen will be based around meeeeee! Wyvern scrawls his initials in Sexy's book, then watches as the dwarf races off. Oh with my fame I'll give the Pen a treat, Statues, fan clubs, even gelding meets. Nothing in these halls will be for freeeeeee, The Mighty Pen will be based around meeeeee! The lizard lets out a cackle and twirls as troll bouncers begin circling him, weilding "I

First of all, a thanks goes out to reverie, drummondo, Zool and everyone else for your excellent reviews. I'm a bit late with the thanks, but just wanted you to know that I found them very engaging and well-written reads. I'm glad that you enjoyed Mr. Sage Francis, drummondo, and will be certain to see him in concert as soon as the opportunity arises. And thanks for the dancing compliment Zool, you're quite a dancer yourself. :-) I went to see the White Stripes with my friend Misha a few nights ago at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley. The venue was an outdoor ampitheatre that was much larger than the small-ish venues that I've become accustomed to, and got packed by the end of the evening. Misha and I got there fairly early and took spots in the standing/dancing area near the stage. We decided not to move right in front of the stage for a change, though, as it was elevated at a distance above the crowds. While we were waiting, we discussed the White Stripes and other rock bands, only to have a White Stripes fan turn to us and inform us that "White Stripes aren't rock, they're alternative." Just goes to show that labels in music can turn to pretentiousness when placed in the wrong hands... ;-) I didn't catch the name of the opening act that played before the White Stripes, but they were a three person rock band that were rather non-descript and didn't hold the attention of the crowd much. It's interesting to me that they never announced their group name or even paused in their music set for a few quick words, as normally opening acts take advantage of their set to get their name out and spread the word of their music. I thought they were strictly O.K, though I'm probably not the best judge of talent when it comes to rock music (this motif will reoccur throughout this review). The White Stripes set up a colorful backdrop and a large arrangement of musical instruments before taking the stage and sending the crowd into a frenzy. They came out wearing the dark shirt and hat combo commonly seen on their album covers, and put on a good two-hour set. One thing that impressed me about them was the variety of different musical approaches they took over the course of their performance, as they went from electric guitars to xylophones to pianos to bongo drums. Another thing that struck me was how sensitive a performer Jack White was, as he frequently overreacted. For example: at one point during the set, an inflated beach balloon was tossed into the audience by the radio station Live 105, and it bounced around until it fell onto the stage. Despite the balloon not touching Jack, he decided to stop his set and take a five minute break "courteousy of Live 105." Regardless of the overreacting, I thought the White Stripes put on a pretty good set overall. My favorite moment of the evening was probably their performance of the catchy track "Seven Nation Army," which they performed as an encore. On a side note; there was this drunken crowd-surfing girl that was making advances to me on and off over the course of the evening, but unfortunatly I once again proved that I have no idea how to approach girls in concert... or girls in general, for that matter. >_ P.S: for the record, the White Stripes struck me as a very traditional rock band, and I have no idea where that fan's "alternative" labeling came from.

Newly Updated: August 21st - Click comments to read! ~Vlad Vlad steps up to his news reporter seat and shuffles a few papers in his hands. The formally dressed lich brushes off some dust from his sleeves, smiles towards the news viewers, and begins his regularly-scheduled broadcast. "Today at the Pen, several carnival goers wen-" News viewers across the Pen pause as Vlad's voice becomes staticy and inaudible. They raise their brows as the screen showing Vlad's image wavers and oscilates, and frown as the image of a poorly disguised Wyvern takes its place. The reptilian Elder wears a pirate patch eye and a large Napolean Bonaparte-style hat. "This is an Almost Dragonic Brand Pirate News Broadcast™." Wyvern cackles. "Coming to you direct from my ultra-sssecret untouchable headquarters." "If you think I'm shutting everyone out, you're out of your mind." The voice of Woody the door echoes in the background. Wyvern lets out a long sigh. *Ahem* "Onto the pirate news..." Recent Public Happenings: Quill-Quests! On the subject of news, Sweetcherrie needs help with headlines and publishing for her One-Time-Only Pen Gazette. Carnival! The Mighty Pen Carnival continues to move in full swing. Here are a few recent events you may want to check for: *- CheerMynx's Beauty Pageant continues to progress, and is nearing completion! *- Have an item that you're no longer interested in keeping? You might consider swapping it at the Carnival Swap Meet. *- Patrick Durham is still searching for people to build their dream Sand Castles for a prize of geld. Celebrations! Best wishes go out to our August birthday pennites. You can wish Arawn, Arwen, and Yui happy B-days in their respective threads, and a very special birthday shout goes out to Matteo, Vincent Silver, and Regel who also celebrated their birthdays earlier this month. Feel free to PM them or make a post in Aardvark's General Birthyear thread to wish'em the best. While all thoughtfulness is appreciated, remember that creative posts are always preferable! Other Things to Attend to: Weenies? The option always remains to work them off with a post. Promotions! Members should consider helping in the discussion of promotions. Street Team! Those involved in the Street Team should consider helping out with the first party. Having finished with these announcements, Wyvern adjusts his eye patch and sneers towards the viewing audience. "And now, a word from our Almost Dragonic sponsors." The screen turns to static again, then refocusses in a rotating circular pattern on the screen. "Paaayyyy Wyyyyvvveeerrrrn geeeelllllllllld. Paaaaaayyyy Wyyyyvvvverrrrrn gelllllld." ;-) [OOC: Big thanks to Wyvern for covering for me this time! The rest is a little addition I decided to make. ]

Wyvern dashes into the Cabaret Room as fast as his swiftness-potion-enhanced scaly legs can carry him. He darts past Vlad's solar system display in a flash of crimson scales, causing the model to spin like a miniature intergalactic dradle. He then slams a foot on the ground, raising dust as he screeches to a narrow halt in front of Knight's sharply jointed armor. Breathing a sigh of relief, the lizard plants a plank of wood into the ground and jingles the carnival bells connected to it with a claw. "Sssorry, I'm late." The kitten minion on Yui's shoulder raises its fur and hisses as Wyvern turns. "Fashionably late, of course. There's a Beauty Pageant going on, after all." The crowds of well-wishers stare at Wyvern in silence for a long moment. The lizard grunts, then takes out an empty swiftness potion vial and a pair of worn out dance shoes as proof. He parades the evidence in front of the spectators, then turns and approaches Yui. "Was a little detained by this dance-off thing. They had the neatest little neon disco ball pouch for firsssst prize, but the judges didn't approve of my 60 miles-per-hour Saturday Night Fever. Substance abuse or something. Anyway..." Wyvern reaches into his pocket and pulls out an Anti-Rain Check for an Almost Dragonic Pouch™. "A brand new pouch for carrying trinkets is currently in developement." Wyvern sneers and snatches one of the kitten minions scurrying around on the floor. He measures the kittens face with his claws as he speaks. "Yessss, weeelllllll in developement. Expect a kitty-oriented design, maybe some snappy phrase below it as well." Yui-chan frowns as Wyvern struggles to stuff the kitten minion into a bag. Several bites, scratches, and back-and-forth hissings later, the lizard turns to make an escape. He pauses on his way out, however, and races back to give Yui a quick hug. "Happy Birthday Yui." Having said this, Wyvern hop-skip-bounces away before another word is spoken, propelled by the anger clouding Ayshela's visage. ;-) OOC: Hope you had a great one, Yui.

Last night, I went to see Denizen Kane, Mestizo & Mike Gao, and Royce perform at the Milk Bar in San Francisco. This marks the second concert that I've dragged a Pen person to, since I met up with Zool the morning before the show and we drove out to San Francisco to spend the day together. :-) We amused ourselves walking around Haight Street and hanging out in Golden Gate Park for most of the day, then made our way to the venue an hour before the scheduled starting time. We watched a silent version of the Method and Redman film "How High?" that was playing on a bar TV screen, and then met up and chatted with a couple of the artists. Mestizo, Denizen Kane, and DJ Whitelightning all struck me as some cool and humble people, and Zool and I bummed around for an hour or so while they did mic checks. After a brief DJ set and a turntable scratching set from Mike Gao and Danone, Royce was the first listed act to take the stage. Mestizo introduced the four man band as Chicago's very own rock/metal/ska/electro/discofunk jam band. Their set started out a bit lackluster due to sound difficulties, but they quickly picked up momentum and put on a good set. Their performance reached it's pinnacle with the final two tracks they sung, where some of the musicians altered instruments and took a different musical direction. I was impressed that DJ Whitelightning was well-versed in playing both bass and keyboards, as I had previously only known him for his DJ work. Zool and I danced and got hype the whole time. ;-) Once Royce had finished their set, Denizen Kane and Mestizo both took the stage for the evening's main event. Denizen kicked things off with an acapella slam poetry version of his track "Patriot Act," which presents a well-written, scathing attack against the current U.S government. The crowd loved it, and a political tone was maintained throughout most of the set. Like Royce, I felt that the first few tracks they performed lacked a bit of energy, but they quickly picked up the pace and turned it into a great set. The relatively calm audience went upsidedown when Mestizo performed the ultra-hype "Pick Up 52s," my personal highlight of the evening. Denizen Kane demonstrated a great deal of musicianship throughout the set, not only with his vocal stylings, but also with his skills on guitar and his ability to kick a folk song as easily as a hip hop track. I requested one of my favorite Denizen Kane/Mestizo collaborations, "Miss Carried Fortune," only to be informed by Mestizo that it was a very personal track and that they don't perform it in concert. Too bad, can't win'em all... Royce also accompanied Denizen and Mestizo at various points in their set, offering a live musical background for them to rap over. Great stuff. Once again, Zool and I were dancing and getting hype through the whole thing. ;-) After the show was over, we picked up some merchandise from the artists and chatted with them again for a bit. We got our pictures taken with Denizen Kane and Mestizo in various poses, and those pictures are being developed at Long's Drugs as we speak. I'll try to get them online somehow at some point. Anyway, the show a lot of fun overall, and I'm glad that we went. Props go out to Zool once again for taking a chance with me and risking one of my weirdo hip hop shows. ;-) One final thing: to those who have HBO, Denizen Kane will be performing slam poetry on Rusel's Simmon's show "Def Poetry Jam" on August 12th (this Friday). Denizen Kane has been featured on the show twice before, and has placed first both times that he's participated.

Wyvern wanders past Anna and trots out onto the stage. His ash-covered claws carry the skull and crossbones "cosmetics" bag he had displayed earlier, and his beady eyes seem to be focussed on the floor. The overgrown lizard sets his sack centerstage, then stoops down and picks up a baton that Anna had dropped earlier in her orchestration. He raises the baton to his snout, gives it a long sniff, then strikes a dumb grin and tucks it into his tunic. Turning to the audience, the lizard waves a claw. "Well well well." Wyvern snickers. "You'd think I ssstarted a fashion trend or somethi-" "Get on with it!" cries an angry burnt spectator. Another audience member shakes a smoking fist. "Right." The lizard's forked tongue hangs loose as he grabs his cosmetics bag and opens it. "I will now demonstrate to the crowds my talent for marketing Almost Dragonic Brand products. I will do so by giving sample products to each of the competing Beauty Pageant participants. These products will be given out.... absolutely free of charge." A collective gasp of shock and astonishment comes from the crowds. Wyvern sneers maliciously, then digs his claws into the bag and pulls out what appears to be a dented miniature pitchfork. "To Musicevangelissst." Wyvern holds the item up high for all to see. "I give this Almost Dragonic Brand Out-of-Tuning Fork.™ Perfect for coming up with those more "obscure" melodies, and essential for any karaoke bash. When purchased in stores, this product also comes with a limited edition Racouolettes single." An armor-clad Elder Dwarf rushes out on stage. Wyvern hands him the item, then points out musicevangelist and watches as the dwarf runs off. He then digs into his bag again, and pulls out a small plastic sack squirming with tiny insects. "To Tom Atoe." Wyvern waves a claw in Tom's direction. "I give this Almost Dragonic Brand My Pet Aphid Starter Set.™ These banes of all garden life are now packed in a cute-yet-flimsy little plastic container for the kids! Comes with a very limited amount of Califlower-flavored Aphid Feed." The messenger Dwarf takes the item from Wyvern's claws and runs off in Tom Atoe's direction. Wyvern rummages deeper into his bag, then pulls out what appears to be a large ninja star. "To Stumpy." The lizard taps his foot on the ground. "I give this beautiful Almost Dragonic Brand Chainsaw Frisbee.™ This fun little toy will add a spark and perhaps a few serrated edges to your next day in the park. Made for ages sapling and up." The Dwarf carries off the item as Wyvern digs into his bag yet again. His claws resurface holding a potion vial filled with liquid. "To Boslio Ganaffi." Wyvern tilts his head in Boslio's direction. "I give this Almost Dragonic Brand Vyle (of) Hair Conditioner.™ This patented formula will give your hair a condition, or your money stolen! Test it prior to Round Five to see if you approve." The vial is carried away, and Wyvern digs through his bag once more. He pulls out a gnarled oak branch twisted into a 'U' shape, with strands of spider webs connecting the ends. "To Thomas the Minstrel." Wyvern makes a dramatic pause. "I give this Almost Dragonic Brand Makeshift Web Harp.™ Perfect for the most temporary of performances, and kinda elegent in an elven sorta way. It's rumored that a family of black widows have made their nest inside of it as well." The "harp" is carried off-stage, and Wyvern searches through his items once again. He eventually takes out what appear to be a very large pair of glasses. "To Patham." The lizard points a claw in Patham's direction. "I give this fashionable pair of Almost Dragonic Brand Reverse Owl Eyeglasses.™ Made using magnifying glasses stolen from Inspector I. M Clueless, this cool little number will make you the hippest, meanest, most near-sighted owl this side of zoo experimentation sights. Enjoy." The armored Elder Dwarf takes the item from Wyvern, then wanders off-stage in the direction of Patham. The Dwarf makes a sharp turn once he's out of sight, however, and dumps the item at the same location he had dumped the other five items: in a large trashcan. "For the rest of the participants that have shown up thus far, I have a ssspecial treat." Wyvern digs to the bottom of the "cosmetics" bag, and pulls out a large box containing what looks like (and probably is) shredded tax documents. "Please, help yourself to this box of Almost Dragonic Brand Ladiesss Swimwear.™ Fresh off the presses/shredding block, these semi-comfortable suites make string bikinies looks like one-pieces! A sure-fire winner come Round Five, unless you happen to choose one of those big property tax documents." The sound of crickets fills the room.

I've been binging on movies this Summer... The three most recent films that I watched were "Must Love Dogs," "The Royal Tenenbaums," and "Broken Flowers." "Must Love Dogs" - I was enticed to see this film after watching a coming attraction for it with Yui and Aegon a few weeks back. The short preview seemed to advertise the flick as a romantic comedy revolving around internet dating. Given the intriguing subject, I thought that it might amount to more than a corny Holywood romance film... boy, was I mistaken! This film was simply awful. It was the epitome of a "chick flick," and was as boring as it was cheesy and unfunny. Furthermore, the film barely dealt with internet dating at all, and when it did it did so in the most one-dimensional, superficial manner imaginable. The corny-ness reached it's pinnacle at the end of the film, when a supermarket clerk that the main character purchased chicken from screamed "Yessss!" upon noticing that her order had changed and that she had a boyfriend. If you're in the mood for corny romance, avoid this film and stick to soap operas. "The Royal Tenenbaums" - Another film that I rented at reverie's recommendation, and was eager to see after Wes Anderson's excellent "Rushmore." This film is required viewing for those studying the art of character developement, as it features a very large cast of well-developed characters. Wes Anderson's spark of originality is omnipresent throughout the film, and a number of the details he incorporates are fascinating. I found the movie very good overall, miles better than "The Life Aquatic," though I didn't find it quite as good as "Rushmore." Still, it's well worth watching. "Broken Flowers" - Finally, a Jim Jarmusch film with some decent publicity! Bill Murray plays the part of a washed up Don Juan-type figure brilliantly, rarely altering tone or facial expression but conveying a lot with a little. The film details the protagonist's journies to his ex-girlfriends in search of a son he may or may not have, though much of the film is spent on his solitary travels. A very lonely film that never reaches a definitive resolution, but drives across its mood very well. Recommended to those in search of a quiet and realistic movie.

Wyvern strikes a plank in the sand and observes the beach area before him. A coral reef shimmers under the rays of the setting sun, visible courteousy of a peaceful low tide. Small oceanic creatures crawl between coral crevices, and the sunset paints a beautiful palet of colors in the sky. "Alright, move'em over here." Bravery frowns and glances at Wyvern. "Are you sure? I looks so-" "We ain't gonna risk setting up an activity booth near the water." Wyvern casts a fearful glance at the tides and lets out a low hiss. "And the corals'll be a nice decoration. We're talking about valuable items here, after all." Bravery sighs. "Fine, fine... just set up the booth. I'll bring some corals." Wyvern nods, then scurries away from the beauitful scene and makes his way to a more crowded area of the carnival. Appetizing smells from Rydia's hibachi stand wift about the area, and a few evening fishers sit around another nearby booth. Wyvern seats himself at a wooden table with a large circular area surrounding it, and plants a sign into the ground. It reads: Mighty Pen Carnival Swap Meet Traid yer stuff! The lizard taps the sign with a claw to make sure that it's stable, then begins placing items on the table. He puts a folder labeled "Devil's Advocate" at the center, scrawlng the phrase "won page misssing" on a connected sticky note. Beside the folder he places the Ring of Wondrous Hallucinations, which he tags with a small sign "Haunted - free of charge!" The lizard places one of his seven remaining shiney swiftness potions on a little stand next to the ring, then tops his table off with a coiled scarf tagged "Prevents cold and disasterous spells!" Having completed his line-up of tradable items, the reptilian Elder twiddles his claws and waits. He scratches his chin after a moment, then scrawls an additional tag next to his table: Also wiling too negoshiate for large sums of pies. Inkuire within! (pies from Quincunx do not apply) OOC: This is a Carnival booth where pennites can exchange valuable items amongst themselves. All deals and trades must have a consensus from both parties trading items. People are encouraged to set up tables of items they're willing to trade and propose bargains to one another, though some less RPing-oriented negotiating might be best reserved to PMs. Anyhow, have fun, and lemme know if you're interested in making some bargains. ;-)

Malory pauses as she walks off of the main stage, stepping to the side as a large black cannon is rolled past her. Malory, Anna and Sweetcherrie all watch in disgust as a trail of drool is left in the cannon's tracks, dribbling from out of the contraption's main nozel. Tanuchan stoops down on all fours for a moment, and sniffs at a spot of drool. "Hints of ash and sulfur." She frowns and turns to other contestents resting backstage. "Must be Wyvern." The cannon is heaved by it's Elder Dwarf navigators until it's length rests over the large clumps of curtains. The armored Elder Dwarf on the left clears out his throat, and takes out a microphone. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, Wyvern would like to demonstrate his formal attire as any almost dragon would... through the advantage of flight." "I am soooo gonna enjoy this." The Elder Dwarf on the right, who had accidentally cannonballed in Round One, sneers maliciously. He then takes out a long black-feathered cannon duster and points it towards the nozel. "Hey!" A familiar voice echoes from within the cannon. "What're you-" The dwarf crams the duster in and out of the nozel several times, using more force with each plunge. He then races over to the other side of the cannon and stifles his snickers. "O-w-w-w" moans the voice from within the cannon. "I-I think I'm gonna-" The audience gasps in surprise as a huge sneeze echoes from within the cannon, rocking the stage. Wyvern sails out of its nozel like a crimson torpedo, propelled by flames. The overgrown lizard is little more than a blur as he sails through the air, though observant spectators notice a purple aristocrat outfit charred black, flaming cufflinks, a tasteless tail ring, and a set of mock-Jester cap bells attached to his horns. Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeee!" CheerMynx begins to mark a "non-applicable" for the "stage presence" segment of her Wyvern judgement sheet, but is interrupted as the lizard crash lands directly on her lap. Judges Gryphon and Peredhil both jump from their seats as CheerMynx's chair topples over. "Oowww." Wyvern writhes and grits his teeth for a moment, then notices CheerMynx's fur. He promptly strikes the most innocent beady eye expression he can muster. "Ewww." CheerMynx struggles in her position. "Eeeeeek, he's on fire! Somebody help!"

Eating celery in heat the Panther raises paw, wasn't watching scaly feet that guided greedy claw. Working hand raises fruit to eat a dripping red. Doesn't make it to the mouth, hits scaly claw instead. Dreading rain of limbs she drops all fruit and green. Nutmeg she defends still loses golden sheen. No grapes remain, no bagels left, the cookies disappear. Rear-end reveals a scaly tail, leaves little for Gwaihir. Foreign seafood, special treat, the vampire sits to lunch. He jumps up when the scaly claws scoop fishes by the bunch. Raspberries and steaming nuts, soup of lentils, goose and duck. Kept and guarded, stolen still, lucky lizard laughs in yucks. Wyvern turns to angered shouts, still winks a beady eye. Enters foods into a pot: the latest Quincunx pie! ;-) Edit: to correct a few faults in the required scheme. (letter scheme, other schemes don't apply) ;-)

I finally went and saw "Batman Begins" in theatres last night. I found it very entertaining, and think that it met my expectations overall. My favorite part of the film may have been the casting of Scarecrow, as I thought the actor that played Professor Crane fit the comic book villain's personality perfectly. It's a shame that the Scarecrow was such a wimp and got beaten so easily every time he showed up, as I would have liked to have seen more screen time from him. Raz Al-Ghoul (sp?) failed to impress me as much, and I thought the League of Shadow scenes that opened the film kind of dragged for a bit. I agree with Zool that the film gives a very complete story of Batman, however, and I think it may be the most realistic Batman film to date. I personally thought that the introduction of a technical support agent in the form of Morgan Freeman worked well, though I agree about the botched chase scene. Also, is it just me, or does something about Batman's flight-enhanced costume not seem right? Good movie overall... here's hoping that Christopher Nolan decides to make a few sequels. I also decided to rent and watch "Rushmore" by Wes Anderson this evening at reverie's suggestion. I was a bit ambivalent about seeing it since I wasn't a big fan of "The Life Aquatic," but must say that I found it a really excellent film in every regard. It had a very interesting approach to characters and dialogue, plenty of odd and intriguing cinematography, and some great acting and hilarious moments to boot. It's probably one of the best movies I've seen in a while, and I'm going to rent and see "The Royal Tenenbaums" as soon as possible. Thanks for the suggestion, reverie!

Brute wakes with a start as a cold liquid drenches his face. The Booze Prophet flails left and right, arching his arms up in a defensive stance. He then does a skillful roll, successfully falliing out of his bed and crashing onto the ground. Coming to grips with his surroundings, Brute jumps to his feet and reaches into his cloak. "Brute." Wyvern shakes his head and waves his claws. The lizard's already-frightened-looking face grows a little more worried, and he drops his empty glass. "Brutesy, don't freak out on me here, s'just a martini!" Brute draws his sword halfway, then recognizes Wyvern's scaly figure. "Wh-" He rubs his forehead. "What kinda-?" "Gin." Wyvern perks up a little, almost reaching a level of distorted kawai-ness as his drooping scales are complimented by a genuine smile. "Tried Vodka, that didn't work. Neither did Pina Coladas, Screwdrivers, or White Russians." "I've been out for that long, eh?" "Yah. Was even considering giving the White Russians the Screwdrivers to see what they could do with'em, but decided to give martinis a shot first. Didn't dare to try Bloody Marys in here, this place sorta gives me the creepsss y'know?" "Heh. Well, it's great to see you again." Brute sits back on his bed, causing all four of his bed posts to collapse. "Ssssorry." Wyvern cringes awkwardly. "Screwdriver business. For the record: I didn't sully your slumbering form with water of any sort, since that'd have been disrespectful." "Uhh, thanks Wyv." Brute smiles at his old acquaintance and stretches his legs from the unholstered mattress to the cold floor of the chamber. "So... did you bring it?" "Oh, abssssolutely." Wyvern strikes a toothy grin, then begins digging through his pouch. "When Yui told me you wanted to claim what is yours, I came rushing over here as fast as I could." Brute quickly extends his hand, then frowns as Wyvern hands him a simple sheet of paper. The worn and crumpled sheet details the expenses of a demolished bar, ranging from the tables to the delux sunbathing rooftop. At the bottom of the sheet, the phrase "I'll pai fr Wyv's Xpenses" is written in a suspiciously jagged font. An equally suspicious almost dragonic "Broot" signature lies below the statement. "Dream on." Brute crumples the paper into a ball and tosses it over his shoulder. "Where's the Decanter? You have held onto it, haven't you?" "Oh, that thing." Wyvern lets out a nervous laugh, then reaches into his pouch and pulls out the Decanter of Endless Booze. He gently tosses it to Brute, who catches it and begins stroking with a look that walks the fine line between compassion and lust. "Of course I've held onto it, do you think I'd let you down? Why, I've even documented the copius number of booze transactions I've made over the years on this little sheet here." Brute raises a brow as Wyvern pulls out a folder labeled "Devil's Advocate." He ceases in his Decanter affection for a moment, watching as the lizard waves a claw over the folder. The reptilian Elder begins chanting things under his breath. "Let'sss see, how did it go here? Ninety-nine bottles of - no, no that wasn't it. Show me the way to the next Whiskey- naw, that wasn't-" The lizard fumbles for a moment, then curses as he pulls out a blank sheet from the folder. "O.K O.K, listen Brutesy, this may not look like the longest list of transactions." Wyvern scrawls his own name on the sheet and hands it to Brute. "In all truth, I havent been the most giving of lizards. But, for the record, I was thinking of selling it sooooo-" "Selling it?!" Brute jumps out of his seat and glares at Wyvern. "Wyvern, it's priceless!" "I know, but look, it's a long story." Wyvern begins backing away as Brute storms towards him. "You see, Merelas put on this fashion show and then there was this Bachelorette Auction and-" Wyvern stops dead in his tracks as a hand creeps onto his shoulder from an unknown figure behind him.

The sand beneath Patham shook for a moment, shifting and causing the two owls to let out high-pitched hoots . Patham stared down at the dune, then jumped back when he noticed two familiar-looking horns surfacing from it's depths . The eyes of the "burly" owl guardians grew wider and wider as Wyvern lifted himself from the ground. Patham stared as the overgrown lizard brushed the sand from his wings and coughed up a few sand fleas. "Hi Wyvern. Let me guess... a practical joke?" "Not exxxactly." The reptilian Elder let out a sigh and removed a crab from his right horn. "Long story involving secret sauces and a couple of Special Chef Operatives too bloodthirsty to host a beach BBQ. What'sss going on here?" "Sand castle contest, involving geld-" Wyvern scrawled his name on the sheet before Patham could say another word. The lizard then scratched his chin, and ran off to a nearby palm tree. He disappeared behind the tree for a long moment, then rushed back to the sand castle construction grounds carrying a large brown bag. "Watch this Patham." Wyvern beamed proudly. "Not only will I be the very first to build a sand castle here, I'll also do it in record time. Those other labor-intensive Pen suckers don't stand a chance!" Wyvern began reaching into his bag and tossing out sand, forming a small castle pillar on the ground in front of him. Patham watched in amazement as the pillar quickly dissolved, causing Wyvern to cry out in dismay. The overgrown lizard proceeded to form another pillar to the same result, and repeated the process until he clawed at his scales in frustration. "Some gimmick!" Wyvern held the bag up for Patham to see, and pointed at the label that read "Quick Sand." He then tossed the bag on the ground and began jumping up and down on it. "And they blame me for faulty advertising!" Patham frowned. "Ummm, Wyvern? I think you're sinking..."

I've seen numerous films over the course of the last week. Here are a few that have stood out in my mind: "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." I went to see this film in theatres with Yui and Aegon, confident from the beginning that I would probably hate it. I was actually very pleasantly surprised by it, and found it quirky and entertaining. Tim Burton does an excellent job of bringing Dahl's work to life, and definitely has a strong vision throughout the movie. The visuals are very well done, decidedly creepier than those of the original film, and Depp does a good job as Willy Wonka. Overall, I thought it was a good film. "The Night of the Living Dead." I saw George A. Romero's original black and white horror film the other night, and found it quite interesting. It didn't exactly terrorize me, but I do think that it stood the test of time better than a number of the films from it's era, and have to admire it for it's originality. I was surprised by how much of the film was based around the humans and their struggles under pressure.. somewhat of a difference from more modern zombie flicks. I don't think I'm as crazy about it as the Romero fanatics, but it is an interesting landmark in scary movie history. "Bad Education." I saw this foriegn film by esteemed director Pedro Almodovar this evening, and must say that I found it bizarre. Sexuality is all over the place in this movie, ranging from homosexuality, to cross-dressing, to surgical sex changes, to pedophiliac priests... all topped off by a healthy dose of impersonation to further confuse things. The plot gets thicker and thicker as time frames seem to shift and weave, but it's all brilliantly directed, and somehow manages to work. The cinematography of the film is excellent, and Gael Garcia Bernal delivers another excellent performance in his role. I thought it was a very good movie overall, but don't recommend it to people who tend to turn to more conventional forms of Hollywood cinema. Another movie that I revisited recently and really enjoyed was "Memento." I think I picked up more from it watching it the second time than I did the first, probably thanks to intelligent inside commentary from Yui Temae (who, for the record, seems to have an uncanny knack of predicting film plot elements before they happen ;-)). I'm definitely planning to see "Batman Begins" as soon as I get the chance, and will probably skip "Fantastic Four" after hearing a slew of bad reviews from superhero movie connaiseurs.

Clam Chowder Head and Metal Lady Fingers of the Special Chef Operations Outfit march into the Assembly Room in a single file line. They both drop the large aprons full of items that they carry, and begin setting up a strange idol in the center of the room. A golden cheesegrater is connected to two jumbo-sized spoons and a frying pan, forming a metalic stick figure of sorts. The cooking operatives both bow before the makeshift statue, and begin humming cooking show tunes under their breaths. "Oh Snypieur, great Lesser Devine Being of Outdoor Cooking." Clam Chowder Head's white New England broth spills over a bit as he speaks. "Please, aid us in eliminating the nuisance Wyvern; bane of all cooking... outdoors, indoors, and elsewhere." "Even microwavable." Metal Lady Fingers grovels, her spork fingers digging into the dirt surrounding the idol. "Please, great Lesser Devine Being of Outdoor Cooking, endow us with your secret sauces and special side dishes. We are but mere elite chefs concerned for the state of cooking as a whole." As the Special Chef Operatives continue to grovel and pray, the golden cheesegrater seems to glint in a mysterious hue. OOC: great story, Snypieur. ;-) I loved the transformations of the sidekicks.

Wyvern twiddles his claws at his JDRollins booth, determined to refrain from revealing spoilers in order to boost interest in the new Pen pop sensation's works. The overgrown lizard bites his scaly lip and fidgets with his tail as he watches pennites casually pass by. He taps his claws on his table for a moment, then jumps up and grabs Gwaihir by the shoulders as he walks near. The lizard whispers in his ear: "The false pity in the demon sequestered antagonist of 'Pompous Piety' fails to melt the protagonist's heart." Gwaihir stares at Wyvern in bewilderment. The lizard casts him a sheepish glance, then lets go. "Ssssorry. Just had to tell somebody." ;-)

The Conservatory lights fade to black, causing a murmur to arise from the audience. Peredhil leans back in his judge seat, stroking his chin at the notion of another connection to Saraman. Boslio Ganaffi stamps his feet on the ground as the figure of Anna disappears from view in the darkness. Appy clings to Apaltra's legs, visibly frightened. Stumpy stands perfectly still... a testament to stump-kind. "What the heck is-" CheerMynx chokes on her words as several fireworks begin going off near the ceiling. The audience stares in confusion as the lighting forms a 'W' that looks more like a 'Y,' a 'Y' that looks more like a 'U,' a 'V' that looks like a tilted 'C', an 'E' that bares an odd resemblence to a 'K,' an 'R' that looks like an upsidedown 'Y,' and an 'N' that comes off as little more than a period. The audience observes the letters for a moment, then screams as all of the flaming apostrophes start raining towards their seats. The deafening melody of "Acid Rain Sex Engine" cues up in the background. "What th-" CheerMynx minds her fur as an apostrophe-comet lands on her left. Her eyes widen as what appear to be two imitiation-Gwar-armor-clad Elder dwarves stride onto the stage. Peredhil's jaw drops at the striking resemblence of the armor suites to those of Saramon's troops. One of the dwarves immediatly trips, rolling and sailing into the crowds like a stray cannonball. The other dwarf takes out a banjo, the only size of guitar he can hold without difficulty, and smashes it at the nearest outlet. Judge Gryphon stares in bewilderment as his hamhawk lunch is covered in splinters. "Hey!" cries Stumpy, his voice lost to the blaring music. "That's wood abuse. You're putting me in a sore-er mood!" The music stops and a blinding pink light fills the stage, causing the audience to cringe. Wyvern hops in from stage left, wearing a ridiculous afro leftover from a previous Pen date. The lizard prances to centerstage, then removes the afro, revealing a yeti-hair wig underneath. The bells connected to his combination Hawaiin Luha/Disco Fever outfit jingle as he bows to the crowds, waving his huge afro like a hat. "I'm Wyvern." The lizard spreads out his scaly arms. "Sssself-explanatory!" A long silence from the crowds, broken by a groan from the cannonball dwarf. Wyvern grips his microphone tightly, ripping at it's tip with his claws and causing a loud screech of static. "I just want to say that if I win, I will use my title to it's fullest and sleep w- I mean, essscort several Pen babes on intelligent and meaningful rendezvous. Of course, I am not competitive in the least, and wish all of the other Beauty Pageant contest contestents the best of luck. In fact, I have a gift for each and every one of you..." Wyvern sneers as the spotlight focusses on a bag labeled "Cosmetics," which has a skull and cross bones brandished on it's center. Tom Atoe takes two steps back as he notices three aphids crawling over the bag's surface. "All in due time, my friendsss." Wyvern tosses the microphone over his shoulder, and grabs the "Cosmetics" bag. "All in due time."

Wyvern snorts upon hearing the discussion of Harry Potter, and quickly sets up a booth in the corner of the Cabaret Room. The overgrown lizard scrawls "J.K Rowlings, Just for Kids? JDRollins, Just Different!" onto a spare sheet of cardboard, then tacks the sign onto the front of his counter. "Tired of J.K Rowling? Read all the Harry Potter books and need a new escape? Come check out JDRollins, the latest Pen pop sssensation!" Wyvern sets four sheets onto the table in front of him, and waves his claws over each of them. Each piece of paper has the initials "J.D" engraved on the upper-righthand corner in a neon golden brownish-yellow hue. Wyvern strikes a toothy grin and pulls out a disfunctional Almost Dragonic Brand not-so-Megaphone™. "I've begun reading through JDRollins works, and mussst say that I find them highly marketa- err, impressive. I'm 40 words into "How do I see the Klingon Empire," and can already envision several movie spin-offs (comparisons to popular sci-fi flicks are purely coincidental). Besides, Gregor of House Tinara has way more tact than any schoolboy magician ever could." ;-)

The smell invaded the area the moment that Wyvern set his foot through the Conservatory door. Soot, charcoal, and the inescapable stench of burnt seaweed flooded the lines of Snookums pie fanatics. Wyvern moved forward like an almost dragonic wraith, his brightly colored cart contrasting with his darkened scales. Rydia winced a little more with each approaching step. She hid Zool's pie with a final polish, and watched as Wyvern cut in front of a familiar-looking prince carrying a frog-shaped pie and a multi-colored hankerchief. The lizard struck an unabashed grin in the direction of the Quincunx, his jagged teeth seeming irregularly clean given his composure. "Greetings, ladies." Wyvern sneered and rubbed a claw on his chest, causing a patch of soot to fall off. "Here to drop off my first installment of Almost Dragonic Brand Kissy-Hissy Snookums Pies™, if you don't mind." "Excuse me." The prince behind Wyvern raised a finger. "I rather do mind, I-" "The horror." Tzimfemme rubbed a hand over her temple and let out a sigh. "The pies are less gothic, I hope? We have stomaches you know." "Oh, don'tcha worry, those pies are ashes. I actually gave'em a proper burial and sprinkled their remains over Celes Crusador's Cafe floors, around where the oven used to be." "Used to be?" "Excuse me." The prince raised a finger. "But I believe that I was first in line, so-" "Well." Tzimfemme slumped back. "Why don't you get it over with?" "Without further ado." Wyvern bowed, causing a cloud of soot to fill the air. "Wait until you check out this first pie, it'sss a real treat." With that, Wyvern grabbed a bright red cloth on the front of the cart and tossed it over his shoulder. He then snatched the bright purple cloth underneath it and tossed it over his other shoulder, revealing a platter with a magnificent metal lid. Wyvern then threw the lid over his head, and spread his scaly arms in a bow. Tzimfemme eyed the platter's contents with a blank stare. A pie tin full of sliced apples, none of them cooked. "This looks like it must have taken a lot of time to make." Tzim growled through clenched teeth. "Oh yeah." Wyvern winked. "Cutting apples on a day like this is definitely a chore. I call it Almost Dragonic Brand Nekkid Apple Pie Substitute™. See? There's no pie crust covering the apples, or any sugar or spices for that matter." "What's going on here?"" The prince's voice echoed from within the metal lid and series of cloths that covered his head. "I can't see!" "This next pie is another formidable creation." Wyvern picked up a tiny crumb from his cart with a claw. "I call it Almost Dragonic Brand PiPi™, and it measures at around 3.1605% of a regular piece of pie." Minta hopped out to examine the pebble. "Hmmm, smells like pipi." "That does it!" The prince tossed the last of the cloths from his head and turned. He clenched his frog-shaped pie tightly with one hand. "I've had enough with you, you cad of a lizard. I challenge you to a duel!" Wyvern turned his head just as the prince lunged with his pie. The pastry smashed against the lizard's face, causing an almost dragonic dent in its frog-shape. The prince stormed off from the line, cursing and throwing his hands in the sky. "And here'sss the newest addition to my fine line of pies." Wyvern slowly removed the pie from his face and licked his lips. "I call it Almost Dragonic Brand Mystery Aggravation Pie™, try some. It's pretty good." Rydia raised a brow as she noticed the striking ressemblence the pie tin now bore to Grimmael's face. ;-p

Wyvern hobbles into the Cabaret Room and coughs, a piece of seaweed hanging from his snout and a barnacle stuck to the tip of his left horn. The lizard's soaking tail drags past the "Read and Learn" booth, his almost dragonic cussing causing more than a few concerned teachers to dig into their packs for some earmuffs. Wyvern pauses upon reaching an open spot of sunlight, and basks in its warmth for a moment. He then takes a large piece of "surfboard" and strikes it into the ground. "Hear yee, hear yee happy Carnival goersss *cough.* Please give a warm greeting to the Big Pointy One and Psimon on their birthdays by hanging your branches across this big pointy stick. *cough* Any form of wood is acceptable, though psionic wands might work the best. Where's Ssssolivagus when you need him?" Wyvern flaps his wings several times, sending salty Ocean water in every direction. He then turns back in the direction of what remains of his surfing booth and begins grumbling under his breath again. At the "Read and Learn" booth, one child asks his teacher what the phrase "non-rebatable tax refund" means. ;-) OOC: Happy Birthday, Big Pointy One and Psimon! I hope that you have a good one.

The Anti-Wyvern Bachelor Sign Up Sheet Protection Squad smiles and nods as musicevangelist signs his name on the sheet. The guards whistle to the melody of his scribbled signature and watch as the great musician wanders off. Morgane pokes relentlessly at the guard covering the far lefthand corner of the sheet, giggling at his motionlessness. "Almost a Dragon call #27." The righthand guard shakes his walky talky and grunts. "What's the status, over." "Calm as ever. *kssssht* Something just doesn't feel right, I don't like *kshht*. You'd think he'd be *ksssh* by now." "What do you mean you don't like kshht? Why've you always gotta speak in code?" "Uhh, Righthand Richie?" The guard on the left points a finger. Morgane squeals with glee upon seeing him move. "You'd better take a look at this." Richie looks up, then drops his walky talky upon seeing Wyvern at the Cabaret Room door. The two guards pick up their high power hoses in unison and exclaim: "By all that is right and good, and out of profound respect for the female masses of the Pen, we command you, Wyvern Q. AlmostDragon, to cease and desist." Wyvern stares at the two guards, then sneers and calmly reaches into his coat. "Oh isssss that so?" The lizard lets out a triumphant laugh and takes out a sheet of paper. "Well, I've got news for you. I've already signed up." "What?!" "Oh yessss, I took advantage of the absence of guards in the last carnival and signed up for it." The lizard points at the paper, which is titled Adventurers Wanted, and cackles. "That's right, I'm all signed up, and there's nothing you can do about it." The guards stare at the paper with blank looks. After a moment, they begin snickering to themselves. "Gee, I guess Wyvern's right Leo." Richie covers his mouth with his hand and tries to contain his laughter. "*snicker* He's got us duped, fair and square." "Yeah, heeheeheee. I guess there's no *snicker* no stopping him when it comes t-to signing up huh? *snicker*" "*kssssht* *snicker* *ksssshhhh*" ;-)

I saw two films on DVD recently: "Being Julia" and "Million Dollar Baby." "Being Julia" is a film about the theatre, and how acting can completely consume a person's life. It featured a nice performance from Annette Bening as Julia and a very cleverly crafted acting scene near the end. For the most part, however, it struck me as a bit dry and dull. The majority of the film seemed to build around the acting scene near the end, and it seemed to drag a bit with unnecessary details and scenes in the process. The film had it's moments, but overall it left me a little unimpressed. "Million Dollar Baby" is the latest Clint Eastwood flick, as well as the rave film of the last Academy Awards (won Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actress, and Best Supporting Actor). It's advertised as a boxing film of sorts, but actually ends up sinking its teeth into a recent moral issue of debate at around the halfway point. I found it a very powerful and devastating film, and it evoked a long silence amongst spectators once it had finished. My only complaint would be that, while I love Eastwood as a director, I'm not quite as big a fan of him as an actor... I feel like he fits into one role well, but that it's a similar role in just about every film he's in. Stll, his performance was good, and Morgan Freeman and Hilary Swank were both great in it. Overall, it's a very sad and deeply moving film, and I recommend it.

Wyvern's Almost Dragonic Brand Farmhand-Shaped Chicken Thwapper™ rubs against several rear ends suggestively as he shoves his way through the excited crowds. The words "Cocka-Doodle-DOOM" glitter across the contraptions palm in a not-too-quaint "slaughterhouse redish-purple" color. "'Sssscuse me. Comin through. Just here to do my duty." Wyvern halts upon reaching the Portrait of Zool, and raises the chicken thwapper. He pauses when he notices a familiar figure out the corner of his beady eyes. "Oh, hey there Brute." Zool's rubber chicken cringes as Wyvern raises the thwapper higher. It then breaths a cluck of relief as he drops the device. "Brute?!" Wyvern turns and immediately begins groveling at the Mighty Booze Prophet's feet. "O Great Booze Prophet, please hear me out before dealing your vengeance! I-I realize this looks bad, but they're not as sober as they seem. Honessstlly! I really am generous with the Decanter of Endless Mea- I mean Bru- I mean Booze! I've been a bad lizard, forgiiiiive meeeeeeeee." "Uhhh." Brute raises a brow and places a pale hand on the lizard's head. "It's uhhh, it's good to see you to Wyv." ;-) OOC: Great to see you back on the Pen boards Brute, welcome! Feel free to take back the Decanter of Endless Booze whenever you see fit, Wyvern has actually not been using it lately (you come in the nick of time- he was scheming to auction off to bid on Pen babes in the next bachelorette auction!)

I managed to watch this video clip at a public computer today. It was certainly funny, but I do feel the need to express a few thoughts on it. I agree that the dances portrayed in this flick would flop if they tried to make a professional dance DVD, or any other thing labeled "professional" for that matter (with the exception of perhaps "spoof" ). At the same time, though, if I were a music performer performing hype songs in a club, I would prefer to see people doing the "Cracker Shuffle" or the "Raise Your Hands to the Lord" or whichever dance you choose rather than seeing people standing still and doing nothing. Unfortunatly, in the case of most concert venues that I've been to in recent years, the majority of the white crowd does stand still out of fear of looking ridiculous if they tried to dance. To me, it doesn't matter if someone looks ridiculous when they're dancing, just so long as they're having a good time doing it. The joke is actually on the people who choose not to dance with an excuse like "I don't know how to dance. I'd look ridiculous," as no matter how crummy a dance looks it'll always look better than a cowardly abstention! In the case of concerts, dancing is also a means of showing appreciation to the artist performing, and I guarantee you that they appreciate people dancing regardless of what style you have. That's first hand experience from someone who doesn't know "how to dance," but gets hype and frequently gets shouted out by the artists performing regardless. ;-) So, to sum things up: I did find this video funny, but at the same time I think that it enforces all the wrong fears in people. I hope that pennites realize that they shouldn't be afraid of dancing just because "they don't know how," and that no matter how you dance it'll always be appreciated. Peace, Wyv- - Who's personal dancing standard consists of a simple "move every limb in your body." ;-)

Wyvern sets up a rickety wooden shack next to a large jagged rock, which rests a considerable distance from the beach tides. The overgrown lizard tacks a dirty sign to the front of the makeshift booth, causing one of the boards to tilt loose in the process. "Almost Dragonic Brand Xtreem Srrf Serfing Rent a Serf Bord - 5 geld cheap! Impres your friendz w/ stunts and trix. Take a ryde on the fooli dangrous side!" Satisfied by the look of the booth, Wyvern proceeds to hammer up an arrow sign that points in the direction of a rather hazardous-looking area labeled "Lobsterpit Reef." Rubbing his scaly claws together, the reptilian Elder kicks back in his seat behind the booth and takes out a pair of Almost Dragonic Brand Shades/Binoculars™, along with a little black book labeled "Bikini Spottings." He then proceeds to carefully examine the beach "scenery" until a troglyodyte in a bathing suite approaches his stand. "Surfing?" Wyvern jumps up at the voice, setting down his binoculars. "Yes indeed, ssssstep right up! Rent yourself one of my (in)famous Almost Dragonic Brand Surf Boards™ and prepare yourself for the ride of your life. Brave the dangers of Lobsterpit Reef as no trogylodyte has ever done before." "Ummm." The troglyodyte examines the booth curiously. "A little question: where are the boards?" "Oh." Wyvern lets out a little cackle. "Well, it's first come first serve." Wyvern pats his rickety booth, causing it to creak. "Take any piece of it that you want. Only 5 geld!" "Hmmmm." The troglyodyte stands in silence for a long moment, then perks up as he hears a sound echo from Lobsterpit Reef: "Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhh!" "Sorry." The trogylodyte turns pale and takes a step back from the booth. He then quickly buries himself in the sand. "IthinkI'llpass." "Wait!" Wyvern lets out a dismal sigh as the trogylodyte disappears from view. He turns his head in the direction of Lobsterpit Reef, and cringes as the echo continues. "Arrrrrggggggh, somebody get this seaweed off my leg! It's kinda Gross." ;-p OOC: 5 earned geld for participating in any way, and an additional 5 earned geld if you manage to pull of some sort of stunt with one of Wyvern's boards at Lobsterpit Reef. ;-)