Wyvern

Falcon2001 Falcon and Cioden walked onboard, Falcon in a black tunic with red trim aoubt two sizes too big and Cioden in impeccably cut black robes. They reach the bar without any real difficulties and Cioden orders drinks for the two of them. Whiskey for Cioden and Wine for Falcon. Falcon looks around worriedly, then taps Cioden on the shoulder. "Hey Cioden, this looks like it might just get ugly." Cioden stares at him. "Of course it will, that's why we're here." Falcon looks relieved for a second, then freezes. He then throws his head back and screams: "The best number of workshops is 599!" Someone somewhere claps.

Tiax As Tiax slowly won all of Stick's gold over a game of blackjack, Kianna breathed pure cold on the punch-bowl, then upended it, dumping a block of punch-flavoured ice on the table. Slowly, she bagan to use one of her claws to carve it into the shape of a dragon.

?Myth Myth looks at the ship. It looked pretty bad as she had heard others say. As a matter of fact even considering the things she had in her pockets, entering that ship was down right stupid, but she was kinda used to danger. Frankly, she hadn't died yet, and she'd certainly done enough stupid things, so one more was unlikely to hurt her. She walked on.

Nyyark On Crow, the large black crow, Nyyark lands in the tilted crows nest. "Well Crow I suppose it takes two to tango, don't you think" "Kaaa" Nyyark strolls down the crows nest pole. As he heads towards the nearest bar he notices Peredhil politly glaring at him. "Well Crow how about a swim" he hastily shouts. Nyyark then makes a mad dash for the pool follow by a hopping Crow, and the both dissapear with a splash. Nyyark Keeper of Crows Kept by Crows Just Crow'n along

Arufel A lone, short figure is seen walking along the pier. He eyes the Tipanic, and those close enough to hear him, hear him mutter a few lines from a popular song from the time; Crossing the straights is easy, A salt moon leans to the mast, A gull falls away in the dark. Drowning is easy, my friend As when foundering port to port Horizons topple and vanish And into your Ocean I slip.. He finishes by crying out "Bon Voyage indeed!" And scrambles up the gang plank into the ship, ah yes, time to find out if dwarves and water mix. ------------------ Arufel Greyfist The Wandering Dwarf

The Big Pointy One Stick yells out at Black as he walks away "Yea, that's exactly my point!!!" He sees LOTG chasing Mr.Bunny and growls. He quickly makes a net from toothpicks and table mints. He swings it around and catches LOTG in it. He hangs the net over the side of the boat and sticks out his tongue. "I win this round!"

Black Black walks over to where Tiax and Stick were sitting and looks at Stick. For no real reason Black Blurts out a strange thing. "Get it straight, a 5 ounce bird can not carry a 1 pound coconut." Black told Stick, then just walk over to the bar and ordered a blood wine.

Lord of the Gay In all the Commotion of people (including the seat-fillers) entering the ships, Lord of the Gay is seen chasing Mr.Bunny with pots and pans... =)

Yui Temae Yui stands on the shore, firmly ensconced in the endless black of her ebon cloak, staring incredulously at the 'marvel of oceanic engineering' known as the Tipanic. Grimacing. I give the ship about one hour, at the level of the parties he throws. I mean, good gods, even the sturdy Conservatory lasted only a few hours, and this thing looks about as sturdy as Brute does on your average day. She hesitates, staring at the 'gang plank thingie', which is most ironically called a 'gang plank' ( ), before she turns to the taller figure standing beside her. "Well, love? Do you think its worth the risk ..?" Aegon glances down at her with a smirk in response, dryly intoning, "No, but let's go anyway. ... Wyvern's parties are supposed to be good for some laughs. Besides, I'm parched." Laughing, the Huntress rolls her eyes and follows Aegon up the rickety plank, muttering, "One candlemark of travelling since his last drink and he's 'parched'... Gods, I'm in love with an Army of Darkness Lush..."

Canid A large black object comes hurtling out of the sky and lands on its feet on the deck. Stepping out of the heavily indented reptilian footprints on the wood, Eloise waves a wing at everyone. "Curiosity killed only a small percentage of cats." Eloise looks around and spots Wyvern. "Ah! I believe we agreed on a drink!" She says, grabbing his ankle painfully and flying over to the bar. "10 kegs of mead, the green one will be paying." Eloise stretches out her wings (knocking over the wine glasses that had been carefully arranged into the shape of the Tipanic) and looks around. "Pretty nice ship, I love that captain, he looked like one to carry a fairly big purse...."

peredhil31 BOOM! In a flash of smoke and fire, Elrohir is suddenly flying backward through the air. Fortunately a wall checks his uncontrolled flight. "Oomph!" Staggering to his feet, he straightens his clothing, with a pinch of his fingers puts outs a burning shoelace. Feeling eyes on him, he turns slowly. "I meant to do that." Noting the disbelieving stares, tries to explain. "Don't, I mean DO NOT, try to wish another Efreeti Bottle inside of an existing one." Seeing Wyvern approaching with a toothy grin, his hand automatically goes to cover his wallet. Wyvern's grin widens as he notes the location - he loves that reaction... "Dad's Celebration! Wyvie! You're a genius." With a few Adept Words, he summons a Portal and goes to get his family. * * * * * ------------------ Elrond Peredhil, 31 A Polite Mage - AG ~Searching for Quality, not Quantity, in posting~ The Pen is Mightier than the Sword -UBB - Elder of Lists. Wandering Bard of Terra

TrueHavoc TrueHavoc, who was swimming in the habour at the time & ended up doing breastroke into a propeller, decide to board the ship via, the anchor chain. Slowly making his way up to chain he realises that this is one helluva ship. "This is one helluva ship" Slowly making his way to the bar. TrueHavoc wondered why he was being stared at by the many waiters & waitresses. "Ummm.... sir this ship has a certain dress code, you cant walked around *ahem* naked, unless you are drunk or it is 'Lets all walk around naked night'" An attendant told TH. TH looked down & realised that, well he liked swimming naked but that he should at least put on some clothes. TH summoned up his favourite navy blue robes with the red trimming which is just so pretty. Again making his way to the bar, this time without hassles, he sat himself next to Lord ordering a few beers for the good people at the bar.

The Big Pointy One Stick hails Tiax and invites him to take a seat at his table. After doing so, he notes quite loudly "To maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow must beat it's wings 43 times a second." That being said, Stick pulls out a deck of cards and starts shuffling them. When he finishes that, he plays a little blackjack with Mr.Bunny

Tiax "ALE!" came(comes?) a booming female voice from above. Whoever happens to be on deck at that moment looks up to see Kianna free-falling towards the outdoor pool. With a tremendous splash, she bombed the pool from a height of about six hundred feet. Swimming to the edge, she clambered out of the pool in drenched emerald green robes. With a few words of magic, she dried herself out and proceeded immediately to the bar. Tiax, on the other hand, made a much quieter entrance, merely stolling up the boarding plank thingie (I can't remember what they're called). On an entirely unrelated note, recent evidence suggests that a barrel full of monkeys is not half as much fun as previously suggested, and is, in fact, rather horrifying.

The Big Pointy One The Big Pointy One, among with about 10 of his other buddies walk up the plank to the ship and scatter, finding random places to hang around. To no one in particular, Stick says, "Well, I think right about in between there, so I think I should have a good time." Mr.Bunny nods and they head to the bar, hoping to hit on some of the 'damsely' waitresses (yes, I'm pretty sure I just made up a new word). (There has to be some sort of filler people, doesn't there...?)

Black Black Foats up to the ship, secure in the fact that he can fly and withstand much punishment. Landing on the ground he walks up onto the deck and looked around, not seeing anyone he moves over to the bar area and noticed Lord there. OOC: I promise not to be taken over again this time

Knight Knight looks at the boat, and looks at the dock, and wonders. Lowering himself to the dock, he leans against the rail, and waits. This might be a good oppurtunity to loosen up...

Lord of the Gay Lord of the Gay steals inside the ship through the crack already developing in the ship's hull... and since he's the first one in the ship.. he quickly goes in the bar and order a full round for everyone.. (which is only himself), Hmm... The Great Lord Himself looks around, making sure no one is looking and from somewhere in his pants he took out a big 120Karot Purple Gem... "The Groin of the Ocean." "Just Checking" he mutter to himself when a waitress caught him with his zippers open...

Wyvern Ladies and gentlemen... It's time for another party in Terra. This one shall take place on an enormous luxury cruise-liner named "The Tipanic". The ship will be cruising over shark-infested waters while the party is in session... but don't worry. It has been proven "200% sure not to crash". The captain of the ship, Willy "blind in both eyes" Wesmeister, assures us that this is the case. A man dressed like a pirate with 2 hook hands, 2 peg legs, and 2 eye patches (one over each eye) hobbles onto the deck of the ship. He waves one hook in the air and exclaims: "Aye! Me ship is a mighty sturdy piece of work, she is. Once, this little beauty made it all the way across the seven seas of Terra! She be invunerable!" With that, the captain smacks a hook onto one of the ships doors, accidentaly getting the hook stuck within two of the door's wooden planks. He pulls at it in order to free his hand from the door, and pulls the entire door off in the process... As you can see, there's obviously nothing to fear safety-wise. This is very convenient for party people, since we've replaced all the life-rafts and safety equipment with alcohol related beverages. This party is sponsored by The Pen is Mightier then the Sword, that guild among guilds. Which means that moderaters can make absolute pigs and fools of themselves and not have to worry about the consequences! But wait, there's more! We are priveleged enough to have two special celebrities joining us at this party: Leonardo Decaprio and Steven Segal! The ship features: -A dance floor and party area -A mini-pool, sauna, and tanning chambers. -An anti-locust repelent apparatus (after that last party, we're taking no chances) -All those things natural to an enormous ship: the deck, the steering room, the engine basement... -Several private rooms, for when people feel they're done partying and ready to get down to some serious business. All is paid for by the Pen, so come join the fun! One more thing though: the party is partialy in honor of Peredhil31's guild NAPs on the AG server (there was this document I accidentaly signed, it's a long story...). Since this is very irrelevent, I ask everyone to bring one irrelevent comment with them to the party. Just for Peredhil. The "Tipanic" will be leaving its docks at sunset tommorow evening and the party will begin shortly after the departure. The ship will cruise the whole night, and will arrive back at the docks the morning of the next day. That's about all... Oh, and yes the Decanter WILL be there. Remember: those that miss a Wyvern party are either: a) Very stupid. or Very, very smart.

The next party thread to be archived here is entitled "Party on the Tipanic," and occured on the Archmage Universal Bulletin Boards from August 8th 2001 to September 18th 2001. This party took place post-"Cerulean's Masquerade," and featured some excellent posts from a number of Pen favorites. The party got derailed due to multiple plotlines from groups of posters, which eventually became confusing and led it to its demise. Never the less, there are some excellent posts in the thread, and it's well-worth archiving here to skim through. On a side note: I thought this thread had been lost for good, but Gyrfalcon had the excellent sense to archive early Archmage Universal Bulletin Board writing on his computer. Thank you very much for saving the writing, Gyr!

Wyvern drags his way back towards his booth, his scales still dripping wet, a lobster still attached to his tail by means of a spiny pincher. The lizard's beady eyes go wide for a moment as he watches Thomas carry his lobster catch from the reef, and he growls curses under his breath as the spiny lobster continues to cling to his tail unnoticed. "Dang, wish I could catch a lobster..." Wyvern arrives back at his booth and grabs the Almost Dragonic Brand Rag-Towel (Beach Edition)™ that he had started to use after the "Unbranded Almost Dragonic Surf Board" incident. The "towel" amounted to little more than a tissue-sized rag of non-absorbant cloth, and the "Beach Edition" simply referred to a beachball picture that was doodled onto the "fabric." Wyvern sighs glumly and reaches for his little black book, dribbling Ocean water left and right. "They had to choose the beach... why couldn't it have been at some nice location, like an amateur bank or a red light district?" Wyvern opens his little black book to a page he had been doodling in earlier. His current sketch amounted to little more than two horns, a business suite, and water below two feet. The words "Seek out at Bachelorette" was scrawled underneath the image, accentuated by two thick underlines. Wyvern taps his claw on the page. Think Wyvern, think. Did she have a suitcase...? Wait... think? Is this some sort of trick question? Wyvern's thoughts are interrupted as a sand crab from his beach-kissing finally makes its way down his snout and into his left nostril. The lizard sniffles for a moment, then grabs his little black book and freezes. *ACCCHHHHHEEEEEOOOOOOOOOO!* Where there was once a surf booth now stands a bonfire. Wyvern sniffles again, curses to himself, then scrawls something over the previous sign. "Almost Dragonic Brand Xtreem Srrf Serfing Rent a Serf Bord - 5 geld cheap! Impres your friendz w/ stunts and trix. Take a ryde on the fooli dangrous side! Almost Dragonic Brand Bonfire Now entrring competishun with Rydia's hibachy stannd! Garanteed fastur cook time. Bring yer fishies! 5 geld to cook." Having finished with this adjustment, Wyvern moves closer to the bonfire, finally drying off a bit.

The crowds of female pennites whisper amongst themselves as a figure shrouded in a dark cloak makes his way onto the stage. The hooded figure nods to Sweetcherrie as he takes her place on the platform, and shifts his scaly tail in the hopes of hiding it. He then clears his throat and pulls back his hood, letting his horns protrude. The whispers turn to shrieks. "Greetings, ladiesssss." Wyvern grins, and dodges several sharpened high heels that are tossed at him. "I'm, errr, ow! Well, you know I'm Wyver- aaack!" Wyvern's beady eyes dart to the back of the stage for a moment as he notices Righthand Richie and Leo Lefty climbing up the railings, their Anti-Wyvern Bachelor Sign Up Sheet Protection Squad badges glimmering in the light. Wyvern coughs, ducks a purse full of bricks, and quickens his speech. "You may know me from -yow! such infamous dates as "Death Becomes Yui" and "A Different Kind of Date," and you're also looking at the first- ow! first ever almost dragonic future-Beauty Pageant winner (actual win is pendi-ow!). Don't have any Quin-kisses to boast, b-but-" Wyvern's speech is muffled as Richie gags him from behind. Leo promptly places a handcuff over one of Wyvern's claws, and trips him over. The two security officials hold Wyvern down until he's stopped squirming, then turn to the now-silent auction crowds. "By all that is right and good, and out of profound respect for the female masses of the Pen, we have subdued this evil creature!" The two guards speak in unison, their lines perfected by months of security rehearsals. "You need not worry of him any longer." Righthand Richie signals to Leo, who begins dragging Wyvern off of the stage by means of his tail. Richie then holds up a single sheet of paper, which has been stamped "[EVIDENCE]." "As this paper demonstrates, that almost dragon was under the impression that he had signed up for the bachelor auction when he signed the Adventurers Wanted agreement in the last Winter carnival. We at the Anti-Wyvern Bachelor Sign Up Sheet Protection Squad let the lizard remain under this impression to prevent him from signing the actual sign up sheet, thereby saving you fine women from any potential hazards he may have caused with his reckless, lustful dating habits. We hope that you enjoy the rest of the Bachelor Auctions, and have a nice day!" With that, Richie folds the sheet of evidence and walks off of the stage. The crowds remain strangely quiet, breaking the once-jovial atmosphere that had filled the auction quarters. "Well..." Sweetcherrie rubs a hand over her aching forehead. "These bachelor introductions have gotten off to a GREAT start."

I also saw the film "Sin City" recently, as a friend of mine happened to have it downloaded on his computer and hadn't seen it yet. We had both heard many good things about the film prior to seeing it, and were both very disappointed by it. I felt that, apart from the interesting uses of color, the film differed very little from the conventional format of superhero movies. It felt extremely fast-paced, with lots of action and very little character developement. I also have to agree with Zadown's friend that the film detailed "a series of escalating acts of gratuitous violence," which I often found rather distasteful. At times, I felt as if the scenes were centered around reaching a climactic moment of sadistic torture, which struck me as sort of pointless. Then again, neither I or my friend have read Frank Miller's original comics, and this is far from the first time that I've heard that the film stays very true to the comic book. Chances are that I probably wouldn't have liked the comic book to begin with, which should render this review questionable to "Sin City" comic fans. Still, this film gets a respectable thumbs down in my book. One film that I saw recently that I really enjoyed was a film called "Dead Man," which came out in 1999 but somehow slipped under my radar. The movie is director Jim Jarmusch's take on a western, and features Johnny Depp in the lead role as a character named William Blake (who kills another character named Charlie Dickinson in the film, haha). I'm normally not a big fan of westerns, but I think that Jarmusch pulled the film off with enough originality and flair to make it interesting and entertaining. The film is actually more of a dark comedy than it is a western, as it spoofs several western stereotypes and conventions in Jarmusch's signature deadpan manner. The pace of the film is very different from that of your typical western, as it moves very slowly and languidly (ex: the first eight minutes of the film feature no dialogue or action whatsoever). Overall, I'd recommend giving this film a shot, especially if you've become jaded with the western genre like I have.

Schoolteacher John sighed to himself and began cleaning off the blackboard. It had been another long day in the classroom, and he couldn't wait to get home and wash the smell of kindergarten out of his hair. After Billy had relayed his age-old joke, Maggie and Agatha had naturally wanted to chip in with their own stories of drunken relatives. John had awarded Billy an F-minus for lack of originality, but could only nod and call recess when Agatha began describing her father's brass-knuckle bar brawls. "Quack Quacked." John hummed to himself as he shoved his attendence book into his backpack. "Jeeze, if I don't get that bard's melody outta my head, I'm gonna go q-" John froze as the distinct sound of children giggling filled the rear of the room. He dropped his backpack. Impossible... The school bell had rang a good ten minutes ago, and it usually only took thirty seconds for- "Lookit that pic of Tom." Billy pointed and the circle of children laughed. They all seemed to be gathered around an object of some sort, and were staring at it intently. "Give me that!" John shoved through the crowd of children and snatched the object from their hands. A cry of dismay broke out from students. "A book?! Shouldn't you kids be home by now, playing your online roleplaying games?" A silence fell over the children, and they reluctantly exitted from the classroom one at a time. John stared at the cover of the book for a long moment, raising a brow at its stick figure depiction of a man sitting on top of several bags of gold. The title was scrawled messily over the top of the page. "Almost Dragonic Brand Immoral Stories™...?" John frowned and opened the book. His eyes widened upon seeing a stick figure illustration of a monkey with a broken arm. Billy Blake was playing ball and hit the mascot down. Go steal the monkey's golden arm and make yourself a crown! Anne's daddy had 20 eggs, she stole 8, made'em 12. Anne eats omlets every morn then rinses off the smell. Two of Maggie's sheep were dead, whatever could she do? She chopped the dead ones into pieces, served'em up as stew. Auntie Linda showed the army that strong whiskey can kill. Try some and aim your sub-machinegun at the teacher's grill! Feathers fly as dogs attack, and hunter shotguns crack. Apperetif before sheep stew as soon as the ducks quack. ;-p

Wyvern scratches his scaly chin and grumbles to himself as he reexamines the picture that Sweetcherrie had sent him. The silhouetted beast looked like a cross between a triceretops and a dragon, and seemed to be carrying two large bags on its wings. Wyvern grunts and places a horn-holed artist baret on his head. "Oh sure, I always get stuck with the weird abstract paintings." Wyvern glances at the picture again, then at his available Almost Dragonic Brand Paints™. "Well, guess I'll have to give it my bessst scrawl." Wyvern dips his claws into a rusty bucket of Almost Dragonic Brand Pro-Fruit Rights Orangish-Red Paint™, then begins spreading it over the upper-region of the canvas. The overgrown lizard then dips a single claw into a vat of Almost Dragonic Brand Gold-Extract Substitute Paint™, and aims for the bottom of the frame. "No fruits were harmed in the making of these paints." Wyvern scrawls a little half-circle at the bottom of the portrait, then pauses. He dips a claw into a can of Almost Dragonic Brand Tar-Black Paint™ and draws a few stick figures around the semi-circle, causing Sweetcherrie to raise a brow. "I know they're not in the picture you handed me." Wyvern raises a claw before Sweetcherrie can speak. "Just a little artistic liberty I've taken. I mean... who's ever heard of a fireball without victims? The triceredragotops had to be aiming at something after all." Wyvern picks up his can of black paint and tosses it at the middle of the canvas, forming a large black splotch that looks nothing like a triceredragontops. He splotchs a bit of black on each of the lower corners with his claws, and grins as he turns to the spectators with his completed masterwork. The messy canvas collapses before anyone can say a word, shredded into a million pieces. ;-)