Wyvern

"Urrrgh, 'scuse me." Gwaihir sighs and turns from the celebration for a moment, only to jump back as he finds an enormous troll bouncer wearing a maid outfit twelve sizes too small for his stature. The troll holds up a live peacock by the throat and dusts off Gwaihir's gardener smock to the sounds of painful bird screeches. He then grunts and beats his chest twice with his free fist. "Ugh come to clean, lizard hire to help. Ugh wash too, use hot springs for clothes." Gwaihir's eyes widen as two more troll "maids" enter into the Cabaret Room, carrying an entire hot spring dislodged from a mountain side between them. A man asleep at the side of the Springs awakens as the tight squeeze of the Cabaret Room doors causes the waters to quake. He screams at the sight of the surrounding pennites and flails for the bush where his clothes hang. "Ugh also to pass on message, urrrr..." The troll scratches his chin and pretends to think for a moment. "Lizzy say, congrachtumalations Sweetcherrie. Ugh clean now, you rest." Gwaihir raises a hand and opens his mouth to protest, but watches as Ugh rams the peacock into a chair to dust it off, splintering it into a million pieces. The other two troll maids gather around a dust bunny and begin beating at it with their clubs, causing tremor after tremor in the celebration halls. The bartender at the promotions party bar sighs as his glasses clink with every rumble, and crosses off "stirred" from the available martini options. ;-)

The circular lights that spot the walls of the Cabaret Room light up in a flare of tasteless neon colors, flashing on and off in tiny flickers. The collage causes spectators to squint and cringe, and induces epilleptic seizures at three goblin colonies when their "Oldie News" channels decide to broadcast it at a local mud-flinging festival. Wyvern sits at a tall platform in the far corner of the room, wearing fluffy white gloves with visible scratches, a cheesy suit spotted with eight different varieties of money bag pictures, swirly hypnotic eyeglasses, and an enormous Almost Dragonic Brand Mandatory Gameshow Host Announcer Moose Hair Moustach.™ He slams his claws onto the top of his podium and lets out a rehearsed laugh, only to freeze with his smile as he finds that his claws have become embedded in the woodwork. The lizard continues forcing his gameshow smile as he tugs at the top of the stand, and eventually manages to tear the upper layer of wood off without dislodging his claws. "All part of the program folksss, ha-ha-HAAAA!" Wyvern raises his claws to his face in the hopes of spinning the lens' of his "freaky-cool" eyeglasses, and slams his snout with the slab of wood in the process. He curses in a happy gameshow announcer voice, then tries to strike a "wood slab up" to the crowds, hoping to indicate control. "Welcome to Wheel of Promot(ion)ability- combining advertising and Pen promotions since... this current day and time!" Wyvern waves the wood slab towards a large monster truck wheel the rests adjacent to his stand. Greedy the Elder Dwarf poses next to the wheel in an outfit that looks like it may have been intended for Shiny, causing several audience members to faint from sheer nausea. "Ha-ha-HAAAA! What a wonderful crowd we have this evening." Wyvern pokes his tongue between his teeth upon noticing several angered goblins amongst the spectators, each of them holding what appears to be a glob of mud. "Let'sss call up our contestants of the evening: From Initiate, moving up to Page... Broken_Inside! Caralyn! Petey! From Page, moving up to Quillbearer... Akallabeth! Lord Panther! ha-ha-HAAAA! The five promoted pennites glance towards one another in confusion as they hear the sixth name, wondering how they could have missed all of ha-ha-HAAAA's posting activities and contributions to the Pen. They wander up to the stage to a roar of applause and tossing of mud. As they collectively bow to the Pen, Greedy does an enthusiastic dress twirl and slips, bumping the monster truck wheel with his tail. Wyvern's moustach goes crooked at the sight of the giant wheel rolling in his direction. He holds up the wood slab like the pathetic excuse for a shield that it is. "ha-ha-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!" ;-) OOC: Congratulations, all. Sorry for the month delay in posting these.

Another update on the status of "Any Given Moment:" the "Chop Shop" episode that occured a few weeks back went quite well. I was very tired from lack of sleep when hosting it, but that strangely seemed to work for the better as it caused me to do all sorts of zany stuff. Highlights included me freestyling over a choppy beat about DL Snake and Appy, and giving a dedication to Zool in a bizarro old school hip hop voice. I question my hosting techniques sometimes, haha... Lots of Pen shouts/dedications, as usual. My shows have been preempted for the last few weeks, hence my not posting any updates here. This week would have been my very last show, but it's been preempted for a sports game again. However, I refused to go out without being able to air one final show, and have successfully claimed next Mondays 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM hip hop slot as the date and time for my last airing. :-) This final episode will be entitled "Going out with a Bang," and will once again be based on super happy, upbeat, feel good hip hop. These types of episodes have always been a huge amount of fun to host in the past, and have resulted in a large number of Pen callers. I encourage everyone to call in and show your love to other pennites through shout outs and praises! This'll be the last chance anyone will have to do this, since after this show, there's no more "Any Given Moment" ever! The show will once again be airing on Monday, 12/5/05, from 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM US EST. The number is (202) 994-9749. This show's all about love and appreciation (heck, it always has been), so the more people that call in to show love and support to their fellow pennites, the better. :-) As for my part as webcam jester, expect energetic dancing and perhaps even a random cardboard Dr. Doom mask?!?! You never know when you kick a theme this hype... there might even be a freestyle cypher going down. ;-) On another note, a big thank you to everyone who's downloaded my "Eros Literate" show and commented on it, it's really appreciated and I'm glad that some of you enjoyed it. Some people have mentioned to me that they want to download it, but that the site that the file is hosted on doesn't cooperate with their computer. Would any Pen member who has downloaded it be willing to host it on one of their webspaces? I would be much appreciated if someone did. :-) That's all for now. I'll bump this up with something hyper as Monday approaches, and hope to hear from some of you then. :-)

Very good poem, Pheonix. :-) The spider imagery that you incorporated throughout it really made me cringe and shudder, and was very effective at setting an horrific and discomforting tone. I particularly liked the detail of the "swollen probiscus'" and the concept of the "cute" baby spiders growing into something even more terrible. The third and fourth stanzas were my favorites, as they set two very intriguing and disturbing images that really drove across a sense of disgust and desperation. One thing that struck me as odd in this poem was the ending, as the lack of bug spray seemed more comic and trivial than the rest of the poem. I wonder if the poem might end better with the second to last stanza, which would make quite a strong closing statement to me. Also, the second stanza of the poem didn't seem to relay much new information apart from the spiders being invisible, and you might consider incorporating the adjective into the first stanza and dropping the second stanza. Once again, a very good poem. It definitely elicited a very strong reaction from me when I read it.

Leolanar leans back in his applicant easychair and shuts his eyes, letting the cushions of the seat carry his weight and suppressing the thought of his "can't sleep" poems. He begins to doze off to the gentle ticking of the Rolodex clock in the corner of the room, only to pounce out of his seat as the Office door slams open with a crash. Wyvern fumbles into the room in sideways jerks, leaving a trail of loose, soup-stained "stick-its" in his path. Sweetcherrie steps to the side as the lizard grabs Leolanar's hand with a wet claw and shakes it in frantic twitches. The reptilian Elder strikes a toothy grin, then reaches to his snout and pulls a "stick-it" tag from it. "'Greet new applicant.'" Wyvern reads the stick-it in a slow hiss, then crumples it and tosses it to the side. He perks up and nods at Leolanar, patting him on the back. "Welcome to the Mighty Pen, sssorry to keep you waiting." Wyvern seems to blank out after making the statement, and casts panicked glances left and right. He reaches for another stick-it on his shoulder and clears his throat of a few ashes. "'Read over applicant's application piece.'" Wyvern sniffs at the little paper, and pops it into his mouth at the scent of soup. He then snatches up Leolanar's poem and buries his snout in it. After a few moments of reading, the lizard nods and lets his tongue hang loose. He reaches under his armpit and pulls out another stick-it, causing Leolanar to cringe at the stench. "'React to application piece.'" Wyvern tears up the paper and sprinkles it on the floor. He flashes another grin in Leolanar's application. "Certainly a poem I can sympathize with, 'ssspecially in recent times. Y'know, I never thought of the wit being scattered like that. Gimme a sec to check for it." Leolanar raises a finger as Wyvern drops to the ground and begins shoving through stacks of paperwork and dirty laundry. He opens his mouth to speak as a large stack of envelopes comes crashing down and a chair topples over. The reptilian Elder eventually emerges from the wreckage of the search with what appears to be a discarded candywrapper. "Close enough to almost dragonic wit," hisses the lizard, winking to Leolanar as he tosses the wrapper towards an overflowing trash can and misses. "Now then, next up isss, errrrr..." Wyvern pulls a stick-it from behind his right horn. "'Accept/Reject.'" Wyvern folds the note into a miniature paper airplane and sends it sailing in the direction of Melba's desk. "Accepted, of course! Now, where did I put that stamp." Wyvern rummages through his disaster of a desktop until he finds the acceptance stamp and brands Leolanar's application poem ACCEPTED. Having completed the acceptance process, the overgrown lizard scratches his rump in satisfaction, only to find another stick-it note there. His eyes widen as he reads over the paper, noticing the trail of smoke rising to the ceiling of the Office. "'MAKE SURE THAT YOU PUT OUT THE FIRE ON YOUR TAIL.'" ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application poem, Leolanar. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I hope that you find us a very welcoming and friendly writing community, and look forward to reading more of your poetry and other creative writing. Once again, welcome!

So, I finally got in the reach of a scanner, and have put up pictures from the Denizen Kane/Mestizo/Royce concert that Zool and I went to last Summer. :-) The pictures came out a bit small when transfered to Photobucket, but should still give a general sense of what the gathering was like. Thanks once again for attending the concert with me, Zool, qnd sorry that these photos are up so late! Hope you all enjoy. I've also included an additional photo I took with Slug (of Atmosphere) at the Tower in-store that preceded the last Atmosphere show that I went to... what can I say, I must be feeling photogenic as of late. :-p Denizen Kane: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...denizenkane.jpg Mestizo with Dwight Lightning on the bass and the drummer of Royce: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...k/mestizoWL.jpg DJ Whitelightning getting down, astro turban style: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...telightning.jpg Left to right- Mestizo, Wyvern, Zool, and Denizen Kane (probably the best pic of the bunch): http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...tWyvZoolDen.jpg Same line up as the pic above, only striking "I'll beat you down" poses: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...WyvZoolDen2.jpg Add DJ Om to the list (far left) and go for silly expressions, and here's what you get : http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...twyvzoolden.jpg (PS: is it just me, or is Om wearing the exact same shirt as Dwight Light?!) Zool and Wyvern, hanging out in what appears to be a hobbit's home the day after the concert: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli.../ZoolandWyv.jpg You'd never know it since he seems like such a nice guy in person, but Zool packs concealed weapons every now and then: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/elitwack/Zool.jpg That's it for the San Francisco gathering photos. Here's the additional one of Slug and myself, though the picture quality isn't the best and the lighting gave it a very strange hue. Slug and E. Literate: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/elitwack/EvanSlug.jpg

My condolences as well, very sorry to hear it and hope that you're doing O.K. :-( The poem itself is effective at conveying the emotion of loss, and the repetition of the name in the first two stanzas seems to drive across a strong sense of denial to me. The last line of the fourth stanza also seemed to suggest that the narrator feels a certain guilt and unjustly blames herself as part of the cause of death, which was a very sad detail that strengthened the overall tone of the poem. Should you ever feel the desire to revisit this piece, I would love to get more of a sense of the aspects of Raymond's character listed in the third stanza, as it would let me share the narrator's mourning for his loss more. The duck pond simile was very good in this regard, but I'd be really interested in learning more about his giving and sacrificing. Well done, and hope things work out once again.

First of all: it's great to see you writing again, Tamaranis! I think that your story is very nice so far, and I like some of the interesting relations you've established between the characters. The jealousy that Taelth experiences in relation to Almok's skill and few years of experience struck me as particularly interesting, as did Almok's thoughts of knowing Meeri better than she knows herself. Your references to the "seeg" profession and the "man with the stick" also have me intrigued, and I look forward to seeing how the story developes. One thing that I'd like to see in future posts that might strengthen the story a bit is some interactions between the characters outside the context of violence and battle. As Stick mentioned, the characters seem quite complex and interesting, but if we only know them for their shared professions and bloodlust it might be difficult for the reader to sympathize and relate to them. You've already offered some insight into their thoughts outside of the battle context, so it's just a matter of showing that they're not defined by their jobs... Perhaps a scene of them just having fun, or attending a cultural event of some sort at the city? Once again, nice stuff so far. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I don't have much to time to post or comment this evening (*wrestles with evil writing assignments wearing outlandish belts*) but I recently got the recording of my "Eros Literate" show in and have put it online with Gyrfalcon's aid (thanks Gyr!). The free site that's currently hosting it seems a bit sketchy, so you might want to have your pop-up blocker on when clicking the link: Edit 12/18/05: link went extinct. New link: http://www.filefactory.com/get/f.php?f=f4c...ed4e9b7d77e7c18 Enjoy. I think the recording came out pretty good. The mic malfunctions and my inability to stop talking when interviewing people over the phone resulted in a couple of awkward moments, but I've never exactly been Mr. Smooth to begin with. ;-p Here's the playlist: 1) Omni & Mikah 9 "Guess Who's Back" * 2) Atmosphere "Get Fly" * 3) Common "Faithful" 4) Royce & Robust "Girls on Bikes" 5) Felt 2 "Dirty Girl" 6) Encore & Ladybug Mecca "Real Talk" 7) Prince Paul "Flattery" Daedelus with Abstract Rude and Busdriver "Girls" 9) Plant Life "When She Smiles She Lights the Sky" [interlude over Maker's "Goodtimes"] 10) Black Star "Brown Skin Lady" 11) Gift of Gab "To Know You" 12) Masta Ace "Bklyn Masala" 13) Josh Martinez "Just a Dood" 14) General Elektriks & Lateef the Truthspeaker "Take You Out Tonight" 15) All Natural "When I See You" 16) Qwel "Where I Go, There I Go" [interlude over Science Fiction's "This is Where I Landed When I Fell For You"] 17) Atmosphere "Good Times" [Caralyn call-in interview over RJD2's "To All of You"] 18) T1 & J-Smoke "Request" 19) Psalm One "Nipple Ring" [Gwaihir (Rachel) call-in interview over Royce's "Qwa2"] 20) I Self Devine "I Can't Say Nothing Wrong" 21) Seven Star "For Her" 22) Portishead "It Could be Sweet" 23) Common "The Light" [silver Dragon (Katey) call-in interview over Maker's "Goodtimes"] 24) Ohmegga Watts & Tiffany Simpson "Your Love" 25) Primeridian "Pose to Do" 26) Felt 2 "Woman Tonight" [interlude over RJD2's "To All of You"] 27) Outkast "Spottieottiedopealicious" ** * these two tracks are not part of the romantic mix, just some required top ten things I started the show off with. ** this last track didn't make it onto the available recording.

Petey's magical box trembles and tilts in its position on the table near Morgane's lolli-cake drawing. It crawls along the tabletop in tiny bumps, knocking over every small gift and half-empty cup in its path. The box pauses at the table's edge, and the lid lifts up an inch as two horns begin protruding from its depths. Morgane notices the two triangular shapes and drops her artwork for a second, letting Mr. Teddy guard the masterpiece of wallpaper confection. "Pens...?" mutters Morgane, tapping a finger on the horns. She pauses for a moment, then grins before lifting the top off of the box. Wyvern's head pops out like the world's ugliest jack-in-the-box, his jagged teeth wide and visible in an open gasp for air. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Morgane grabs the lid, then begins cramming it down on Wyvern's head. "Quick, giftwrap it giftwrap it giftwrap it!" "W-wait," cries the muffled voice of Wyvern as Venefyxatu begins tying a ribbon around the box and quadruple-knotting it. "I have Almost Dragonic Brand Spare Tree Branch Moose Antlers™ for the occasssion. Lemme ooouuuuuuuuutttttttttt." Venefyxatu dusts his hands off and whipes some sweat from his brow before installing the final security measure: a larger box to place the magical box in. Petey's box hops from side to side and ricochets off of the interior of the big box in a directionless manner. The bumping eventually stops, at which point a low wail echoes from the bottom of the cardboard: "Haaaappppppyyyyyy Biiiirrrrrrrtttttthhhhhdddaaaaayyyyy Aaaaaapppppppyyyyyyyyyyyy." ;-) OOC: see above statement. ;-) Hope you had a good one.

Wyvern's beady eyes widen with glee as he traces a claw down the wide and fancifully-inscribed letters of the challenge poster. The reference to "sorry excuses" had immediately caught the lizard's attention, paralleling the critical reviews of his last guidebook to cheating: Almost Dragonic Brand Collected Homework Excuses ("Waterlily Ate my Dog, who Ate my Homework").™ He grins at the thought of the Five Elements and juggles them through his mind. Earth, Wind, Fire... Drought, and Greed! The overgrown lizard rubs his scaly claws together and cackles at the simplicity of it all, only to have his jaw drop as he notices the geld at stake. "Yessssssss," hisses Wyvern, his claws at the edges of the poster, his tail trembling with excitement. The lizard's eyes widen further upon noticing the word "publicize," which immediately equates to "publicity" in his greedy mind. "Yesssssssss...! Almost too good to be-" Wyvern seems to freeze up as he reaches the final sentence of the poster. His grin remains plastered in place for a moment before disintigrating to a frown. His claws let go of the poster, and he slaps his forehead and kicks at the ground in disappointment. "Dang it all!" The overgrown lizard heaves out a sigh and lets his shoulders hunch down. "Go figure, Good Luck is needed. Jussst when everything seemed to be rolling my way too..." Wyvern grumbles curses to himself, and shakes his head sadly as he departs from the area.

"Ya never can tell." Wyvern scurries into the Cabaret Room, nodding towards the others that have gathered there as he sets a cake dotted with skull sprinkles and little enchantment incantations in chocolate ribbon. "I 'ssspose he technically turns 1 on April 26th, but the vamp years just seem more traditional to me." The lizard grins and tacks the last of Vlad's archived Pen news headliners on the back wall, admiring the fine writing for a moment before whipping out a bag of "Almost Dragonic Brand Party Favours of the Gods™" The overgrown lizard reaches into the bag and begins handing out haunted talismans to each of the people in attendence, passing two in Anna's direction just to make sure she's fully equiped as backup. Wyvern casts one final glance towards the Archaneus altar set up in the other corner of the room, making sure that the pics of Degenero Angelus and others are still in place encircling it. He then steps to the front of the Cabaret Room and lets out a loud whistle to catch the attention of the gathered pennites. "Now remember, when he drops in off a Minta order, we all shake the talisssmans in the air and say 'ssssurrrprrriiiiiisssssssse!'" ;-) OOC: A Happy Birthday goes out to Vlad, and to Archnaneus as well.

"What did I miss?!" cried Wyvern, coming to a jolting halt as the dimensions of his costume clashed against the narrow backstage doorway. The overgrown lizard shook his head for a moment to clear his senses, then kneeled and side-stepped his way into the quarters. Heather raised a brow at the lizard's outfit, which consisted of a large metal locker with the words "Ladeez Only" scrawled in purple marker on the front. Wyvern waved his arms in front of himself, trying to make out details of the room through the thin vision slits of the locker door. "Sssscuse me, could someone direct me to Heather Monsley's dressing room? I've got an urgent appointment as an, errr, interior locker janitor." Heather Monsley frowned and placed a hand on her hip, glaring at the walking locker. She approached the odd figure in two long strides, and opened the locker with a swing of a hand. Her face went blank at the shocked expression on the face of the lizard hidden within. "H-H-Heather." Wyvern's jaw hung loosely. "I, uhh, I jussst wanted to get your intellectual opinion on-" Heather glanced at the interior of the locker door, only to blush upon noticing a poster of herself from when she posed in the Miss and Mister Student contest. "That is, errrr-" Wyvern broke into a sweat, and reached for the belt of the locker suit only to drop a disposible camera. The gritted his teeth and hung his head for a moment with a low hiss. After an awkward silence, he extended a scaly claw. "I mean- I'm Wyvern, the future winner of the Mighty Pen Quiz game show... autographs for 500?" ;-p

Wyvern scratches his scaly chin, then proceeds to lay out a large map of St. Ives across the Cabaret Room floor. The overgrown lizard then pulls out several tiny token figurines of women and cats, which he positions over the span of the board in careful geometric measurements. "Well," murmers Wyvern, whipping out a large accounting calculator and several triangular rulers. "One would firssst need to account for the various possibilities of travel direction, of course. Let's say that X is North, Y is West, Z is East, and Zool is South. They wouldn't travel South in fear of severe burnings, thereby leaving the option X(Y+Z) the most plausible. That equates to something along the lines of "sideways up and down." Spectators in the Cabaret Room watch with blank expressions as Wyvern squiggles lines up and down over the map. They sigh and shake their heads when the reptilian Elder decides to get artistic with his lines and draw little pompom stars at the end of each of the lines, along with two googly eyes and a jagged snout. The lizard tags his doodle "Oktopus - by WiivEe" and flashes a smile of childish accomplishment to the crowds, only to realize the derailment of his project and go back into "serious mathematician" mode. "Err, anyway, one would also need to account for the potential casualties, such as pitfalls, deep rivers (Oregan Trail, anyone?), Almost Dragonic Brand Kitten Experimentation Outlets™, and Volcanos leftover from previous riddlesss." The crowds raise their brows as Wyvern begins typing things on his calculator with reckless abandon. "Of course, add to that the common frequency of traffic in the direction of St. Ives, minus the number of traffic accidents, added to the total sum of foreign immigrants multiplied by the rise of immigration, and you come out with-" The calculator begins to spark and malfunction as Wyvern's claws slam against it harder and harder, sending accounting paper flying to the ceiling. The overgrown lizard pounces and snatches the rocketing paper, letting out a triumphant cry and announcing his result: "12,345,843! and 1 kitten." Wyvern collapses to the ground, rolling over the smoldering ashes that remain of the expensive Pen funding calculator. He then folds the result paper and tucks it behind his left horn before grinning and raising a claw. "As for my brain teasssser, I have something rather special for you all." Wyvern grins and moves past the map to a table in the corner of the room. He picks up a large platter that rests there, and brushes the purple cloth that covers it with a claw. "What's packed and white and dead all over?" The spectators cast concerned glances to one another, until Wyvern unveals the tray... at which point they stand aghast in bewilderment. "Almost Dragonic Brand Kitten Brain Crumpet Snack™, and I've got teaser samples!" Wyvern offers Lord Panther a white blob on a toothpick, only to watch him turn away revolted. "What'sss wrong? They're fresh from the road to St. Ives!" ;-)

Thanks for taking that pic, Katzaniel. :-) Definitely came out cool! I got a few more pics from the show, including the one I alluded to in my last post, which is the first of the bunch. Eros Literate with two "Any Given Moment" fans: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...rosliterate.jpg I don't seem to know what to do with my left hand: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...osliterate2.jpg I'm either out of it, or utterly with it. That's my cohost/first year intern, Robbie, on the right: http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c196/eli...osliterate3.jpg I've got my fingers crossed for the recording, and will post it here if WRGW manages to get it up next week. I'll try to post the playlist along with it as well. Thanks!

Thanks to everyone who participated in this round of madlibs. The original story used for this madlib was Patrick Durham's date with Arwen, entitled "For the lovely elven maiden" and located in the Assembly Room. The following passage was extracted from the text: This segment was then editted and abbreviated for madlib compatibility: The blank spots were then filled in by the madlib participants, resulting in the following stories: Sweetcherrie's Version: "You look evil." - Gyrfalcon said, meaning it. Minta blushed slightly and the two of them went off for their date. "So where are you taking me?" - she asked devilishly. "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." - Gyrfalcon replied with a thank you. When they reached where he was taking her it turned out to be a high-class seventh heaven, with a band playing stupid songs. Gyrfalcon handed his toilet to the waiter and they sat at the only table, which was put out in the room. The waiter brought lemonade, Minta's favorite sort, then let Gyrfalcon swallow her. The wings were just perfect for the occasion, as they blended with the naughty music in the background. ... During the simple course the band started playing "It's Raining Men" by Aretha Franklin.. Gyrfalcon stood up. "May I have the dance?" - he asked, taking Minta's hand. She had beautiful green toes, which in the lighting of the seventh heaven's interior tingled like towels. The shafts of light coming from her woolen scarf bathed Gyrfalcon in tender light. She lived his invitation for the dance. Zariah's Version: "You look delectable." - Happybuddha said, meaning it. Appy blushed slightly and the two of them went off for their date. "So where are you taking me?" - she asked warmheartedly. "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." - Happybuddha replied with a huggle. When they reached where he was taking her it turned out to be the high-class Apollo, with a band playing entertaining songs. Happybuddha handed his fish to the waiter and they sat at the only table, which was put out in the room. The waiter brought champagne, Appy's favorite sort, then let Happybuddha dance with her. The rope was just perfect for the occasion, as it blended with the plastic music in the background. ... During the striking course the band started playing "Two Princes" by The Spin Doctors. Happybuddha stood up. "May I have the dance?" - he asked, taking Appy's hand. She had beautiful tangerine orange toes, which in the lighting of the Apollo's interior tingled like flowers. The shafts of light coming from her jacket bathed Happybuddha in frosty light. She bounced his invitation for the dance. Beautiful Nightmare's Version: "You look sexy." - drummondo said, meaning it. Zariah blushed slightly and the two of them went off for their date. "So where are you taking me?" - she asked slowly. "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." - drummondo replied with a huggle. When they reached where he was taking her it turned out to be a high-class cavern, with a band playing cute songs. Drummondo handed his desk to the waiter and they sat at the only table, which was put out in the room. The waiter brought orange juice, Zariah's favorite sort, then let drummondo snuggle her. The lightbulb was just perfect for the occasion, as it blended with the fluffy music in the background. ... During the bitchy course the band started playing "I Don't Want This Christmas" by Michael Drummond. Drummondo stood up. "May I have the dance?" - he asked, taking Zariah's hand. She had beautiful red eyes, which in the lighting of the cavern's interior tingled like bean bags. The shafts of light coming from her tartan skirt bathed drummondo in vain light. She kissed his invitation for the dance. Patrick Durham's Version: "You look mighty." - Wyvern said, meaning it. Mynx blushed slightly and the two of them went off for their date. "So where are you taking me?" - she asked angelically. "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." - Wyvern replied with a point. When they reached where he was taking her it turned out to be a high-class sailing boat in the Caribbeans, with a band playing grand songs. Wyvern handed his wireless network card to the waiter and they sat at the only table, which was put out in the room. The waiter brought C2H5OH (also known as ethanol), Mynx's favorite sort, then let Wyvern procrastinate with her. The feather was just perfect for the occasion, as it blended with the polished music in the background. ... During the mixed course the band started playing "Obsession" by Aventura. Wyvern stood up. "May I have the dance?" - he asked, taking Mynx's hand. She had beautiful sea-blue lungs, which in the lighting of the sailing boat's interior tingled like beasts. The shafts of light coming from her belt bathed Wyvern in hung light. She died over his invitation for the dance. Tanuchan's Version: "You look jumpy." - Finnius said, meaning it. Katzaniel blushed slightly and the two of them went off for their date. "So where are you taking me?" - she asked sheepishly. "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." - Finnius replied with a pat on the head. When they reached where he was taking her it turned out to be the high-class top of Kilimanjaro mountain, with a band playing plushy songs. Finnius handed his dictionary to the waiter and they sat at the only table, which was put out in the room. The waiter brought formaldehyde, Katzaniel's favorite sort, then let Finnius faint on her. The log cabin was just perfect for the occasion, as it blended with the rusty music in the background. ... During the fancy course the band started playing "Goodnight, Demon Slayer" by Voltaire. Finnius stood up. "May I have the dance?" - he asked, taking Katzaniel's hand. She had beautiful midnight-blue kidneys, which in the lighting of the mountain's interior tingled like glasses. The shafts of light coming from her skirt bathed Finnius in yawny light. She buried his invitation for the dance. Ayshela's Version: "You look splendiferous." - Gryphon said, meaning it. Appy blushed slightly and the two of them went off for their date. "So where are you taking me?" - she asked sleepily. "I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." - Gryphon replied with a frantic wave. When they reached where he was taking her it turned out to be the high-class Eiffel Tower, with a band playing purplish songs. Gryphon handed cryptomancer's discarded left sock to the waiter and they sat at the only table, which was put out in the room. The waiter brought heather ale, Appy's favorite sort, then let Gryphon plunk her. Mynx's smallest kitten was just perfect for the occasion, as it blended with the slippery music in the background. ... During the glittered course the band started playing "The Sound of Settling" by Death Cab for Cutie. Gryphon stood up. "May I have the dance?" - he asked, taking Appy's hand. She had beautiful irridescent pink eyelashes which in the lighting of the Eiffel Tower's interior tingled like drunken seagulls. The shafts of light coming from her black string bikini top bathed Gryphon in crystalline light. She snored off his invitation for the dance. Note: in the cases of Sweetcherrie, Beautiful Nightmare, and Patrick Durham's entries, adjectives were placed in the spot for an adverb, so I edited them into similar adverbs in the entries. Thanks once again to everyone for participating!

Epilogue: the Fine Print The editor news rat snatched one of the miniature tabloid pamphlets from the moldy pipe edge where it rested. His whiskers twitched as he breezed through the pages of pictures, letting out tiny squeaks for each questionable lizard photo and suggestive news lady snapshot. The rat then let out an enthusiastic squeak of approval, and stamped a check on the sheet with a Cheez-E Whip tube leftover from Cheese Louise's. Tossing the tabloid back on its pile, he ran to a hamster wheel in the corner of his sewer office and began running on it. The spinning wheel caused three rope nets holding news rats to drop into the room, and the rodent team swarmed towards the tabloids in a roar of squeaks and twitters. The rats snatched several tabloids in each arm and then went racing through the sewer with them, singing in sinister squeaks and occasionally slipping and falling into the depths of the sewage. They eventually arrived at a Rodent News Delivery Station near a manhole, and dropped the papers off there. They waited until a gang of surface agent news rats passed by and picked them up before plummeting back into the sewer. The surface agents clutched the tabloids tightly in their arms as they ran through city streets and monuments, focussing on the long and hazardous journey ahead of them. By evening time, several of the rats had become lost to an alley of stray cats or deterred by appetizing-looking garbage cans. Nevertheless, the remaining gang hopped into the Mighty Pen's quarters through a crack in lumpenproletariat's window, knowing better than to walk through the front door from previous experiences with a muscular secretary and accompanying broom. They squeaked quietly and scurried through the halls until they reached their final destination: a small hole in the wall, belonging to none other than the Grim Squeaker... ... the only subscriber to "Rats Out the Bag" tabloid magazine. The news rats dropped one copy of the tabloid at the Grim Squeaker's mousehole-step, slumping their shoulders and knowing that he only read them for the mouse obituary colomns anyway. The surface agents then turned to leave, only to catch the familiar scent of fresh cheese and pause in their steps. They turned and slowly approached the fancy pedestals holding cheese slices, ditching their remaining scrap tabloids as the thought of snacking consumed them. If anyone had been awake in the Pen quarters late that evening, the echoes of snaps that rang through the halls might have rang to the Almost Dragonic Tune™ of "Thirty Blind Mice." ;-) Fin~

A little update. First of all, the "Eros Literate" episode of "Any Given Moment" that aired last week went absolutely fantastic, and was probably the best show I've ever done. While I've had a lot of positive reactions to my show before, the response to this particular mix was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. There was a charity ball going on in the Marvin Center where the radio station is located, and many of the well-dressed girls wandering in the hall outside waved to me and blew kisses! One group of girls even went so far as to come into the station to compliment me on my looks, haha. The mix itself was near-perfect, and flowed extremely well from track to track while maintaining a very romantic and seductive vibe. A big thank you goes out to Gwaihir and Silver Dragon for calling in and chatting about their favorite qualities in a guy, it was a lot of fun. :-) The only slip-up in the show was that the studio microphones weren't working, which is a shame because another group of girls who know the first year intern that guests on my show dropped by near the end. Still, this show was amazing. There were a lot of shouts to the ladies of the Pen, of course, including: Yui, Lady Celes Crusador, Sweetcherrie, Katzaniel, Tzimfemme, Appy, Zariah, Beautiful Nightmare, etc. I've refrained from posting this update until now since I've been trying to get a recording of the show up, as well as the playlist and a very misleading picture that was taken of me with a few ladies (I have NO tact when it comes to this romantic stuff, honest!). There's a good chance that some of those might be up by next week, keep your fingers crossed. This evening, I'm going to be doing a show entitled "The Chop Shop," based around extremely choppy and fragmented beats that M.Cs flex their skills over. While it's bound to be a disappointment after the stupendous show last week, it should have a very interesting and original vibe to it and a lot of quality tracks. To put it choppily if you're interested: Same. Place. Same. Time.

The gentle babble of the brook turns to frantic splashes and gurgles as fish begin hopping out of the river and ricocheting around on the Cabaret Room floor. A scaly claw emerges from the water and clutches at a rock prop, promptly dislodging it and falling back into the water with a *clunk-sploosh.* The splashes and gurgling continue until a scaly tail emerges from the depths and hooks itself to a sturdy treebranch by means of its stinger. Wyvern slowly crawls from the depths, using his tail for stability and hacking up wet ash as soon as his snout surfaces. The lizard wobbles as he stands up straight near the river bed, then takes a step forward only to slip on a stray fish and go rolling down a short incline of "poison ivy bush" props. Wyvern lays face down on the ground by Ayshela's feet for several minutes before nnoticing the familiar shoe fashion and hopping up with a grin. "Hope you had a great one, Ayshela." Wyvern pats Ayshela on the back with one of his soaked claws. "*Ahem* So, I got us this party game... it'ssss called "Bear No Fish," and it's based around catching all the hopping fish before they attract any menacing bears that may have been hired for the occasion. But hey, at least there're no snakes." Ayshela opens her mouth to respond, only to watch as Wyvern pounces at a fish hopping across the ground. The overgrown lizard misses by a mile, and his wet scales cause him to slide like a serpent... back in the direction of the babbling brook. "Noooooooo!" Wyvern claws at mud and "poison ivy bush" props in the hopes of slowing his slide. "Halllllp, you have no idea how boring that brook's babble is!" ;-p OOC: A Happy Birthday to you, Ayshela.

Reptilian Elder Attempts to Molest Local Cheerleader Squad, Suffers Injuries Wyvern gasps for enough air to mutter a word, his beady eyes tracing Sweetcherrie's steps as she wanders out of the restroom. The greedy lizard shifts his tail and raises a claw, only to burst into a fit of giggles as pompoms breeze over him in a purr of cooing praise. Wyvern clutches at his bleeding nose, uninjured from the door hit but more vulnerable to the surrounding skintight nylon. "Ooooh, I didn't even know we had a mascot." A blond bombshell pinches Wyvern's cheek, evoking a wild snicker. "Go Crimson Geckos!" "Aaaah, I loooove his cute lil' tail." A hot redhead tickles at his scales and smiles. "Just like the real thing." Wyvern grins and lays back, memories of Racouol's cheerleader invasions lost on him in the heightened affection. He lets out a sigh of content, only to freeze up a bit and frown at the thought of Sweetcherrie wandering past the various animal cages by herself. He bites his lip for a moment and tries to blot out the thought by concentrating on the pompom tendrils, but eventually grumbles and lifts himself from the surrounding squad. "L-lisssten ladies, ummm." Wyvern raises his claws in front of the cheerleaders and motions towards the ground. "Y-y-you, stay. I, b-be right back!" Wyvern grabs a stray pompom from the ground and rushes out of the bathroom as fast as his scaly legs can carry him. He spots Sweetcherrie walking in the distance, a hint of banana peel still hanging from her shoulder, and lets out a victorious hiss. "Waaaiiiiiittt, Sssswwweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!" Sweetcherrie turns and jumps as Wyvern skids to a halt at her side. The lizard pants for breath and dribbles nosebleed at her feet. "Thank you for the bid," Wyvern declares. He shoves the pompom into Sweetcherrie's hands. "Here!" Sweetcherrie stares at the pompom with a blank expression, then frowns. "What are you trying to-?" "A wig." Wyvern points at the form of the pompom. "Y'know, I mean: Gazette meeting, no time to shower off garbage, just toss it on!" "Oh." Sweetcherrie shakes her head and sighs. "Listen, you-" "Thaaaaaaannnnnkkkkkk yyyyoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Sweetcherrie rubs a hand over her forehead and grumbles to herself as she watches Wyvern rocket back in the direction of the Ladies Bathroom. She pauses and cringes, however, as she watches the rhinocerous charge straight into Wyvern in its course and buck him onto its head. The lizard screams as the rhino charges off towards the "Wet Wonders of the World" aquatic exhibit in the direction opposite of the bathroom... ;-)

A new Mighty Pen Madlib for folks to sink their teeth into. Remember to share any leftovers you may find with your muse... it may just be fast food, but it still contains the right vitamins and nutrients! Instructions for the exercise are listed at the beginning of the thread, for those who are new to the game and would like to give it a whirl. Without further ado, let's get creative! 1. Adjective 2. Male Member of the Pen 3. Female Member of the Pen 4. Adverb 5. A Gesture 6. A Fancy Location 7. Adjective 8. Noun 9. A Liquid 10. Verb 11. Noun 12. Adjective 13. Adjective 14. Name of a Music Song and Artist 15. A Color 16. Part of Body (Plural) 17. Plural Noun 18. Article of Clothing 19. Adjective 20. Verb (past tense)

A very interesting poem, Pheonix. I really liked the word choice and phrasing in it, particularly in the third line of the first stanza, which I found very striking and original. The metaphor of stones as weight and hardship in the narrator's conscious was also incorporated very well throughout the poem, and was brought to life through a number of striking images and evocative details. I found the notion of emptiness in the poem particularly intriguing, since the stones seem to fill a void of sorts despite being regarded in a very negative light. This piece almost read like two poems to me, and I feel that it may be spreading itself a little thin by covering too much ground. The experiences of the stones' weight and the stones' disintegration could both make powerful poems in themselves, but when placed together they seem to strike me as less urgent and evocative. If relaying the experience of the change was your central intention with the piece, you might want to consider compressing the poem and focussing more on the change itself rather than on the experience of the weight and the experience of the weight's disintegration. The feelings of each may still be included, of course, just in a more concise and compressed format. Also, the metaphor of the birds circling the narrator struck me as less interesting than that of the rocks, and I found the pairing of "alone" and "lonliness" in the fourth stanza rather weak (after all, if the words are paired together, they hardly convey lonliness!) Very good poem, Pheonix. Many interesting concepts and details... I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

Thank you reposting the info, Katzaniel, and thank you to everyone who's expressed interest over calling in and listening in! :-) This is just a final reminder that the "Eros Literate" episode of "Any Given Moment" will be airing tonight, from 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM US EST (that starts in about three hours and thirty minutes from when this is posted). I apologize for being more or less absent this week, blame it on a mixture of technological difficulties and work schedules clashing against each other. I should be back writing later tonight, and will hopefully hop onto IRC during the show to take any requests. I'm also going to attempt to record the show, and will try to post the playlist of it here. And yeah, I'll still be dressing up for this. ;-) Thanks again, Wyv-

My "Speechless" show last week went well, and I thought the mix worked out nicely. Valdar mentioned that the music selection could use a little more "umph," but the intention of the show was to serve as quiet background music or immaculately constructed instrumental head trips, depending on the listener. ;-) Plenty of pennites were shouted out over the course of the show, including Zool, Valdar, Yui, Appy, etc. A special happy instrumental mini-set was also dedicated to a certain happy pennite couple, whose names shan't be mentioned here out of respect for their secrecy. ;-) A good friend of mine (Xradion) also called in and spoke for a bit over the air, and I attempted to record the show to CDR but don't think that I was entirely successful. Special precautions will be taken in this week's show to make sure the recording process goes smoothly. Another reminder that this week, the long-advertised "Eros Literate" episode of "Any Given Moment" will be airing, complete with special romantic mix, Pen dedications, and formal dress code. I'll be posting more reminders of the show in this thread as Friday approaches, but would once again really appreciate any Pen listeners and any Pen gals that might be willing to call in! I've slaved over the mix, gotten my fellow DJs to burn mix CDs for me, and have bought a thing or two in the hopes of building something special. Once again, the central question for female Pen callers to answer is "what do you find attractive in a guy?," and you can feel free to add any other poems you'd like to read or questions you have. Stay tuned!

Wyvern creeps into the Cabaret Room upon hearing the hyperactive screams and crashes that echo from within. He pauses and perks up his snout as the familiar scents of burnt fabric and ash hit his nostrils. The lizard's beady eyes dart from one corner of the room to another until he spots an unfamiliar pheonix wrestling with CheerMynx; not bright enough to be Troy, not dim enough to be Darkpheonix. The lizard rubs his scaly chin and watches as Pheonix waves flames up cryptomancer's arm, then smirks and takes out a blank sheet of paper from his "Devil's Advocate" folder. He reaches into a pocket and pulls out a tiny inkwell, then picks a stray orange feather off the ground and approaches the crowd surrounding the new visitor. "Ssssssscuse me." Wyvern shoves through the crowds and grips one of Pheonix's talons with a scaly claw, causing her to jump. "Just wanna welcome you to the Mighty Pen. The name's Wyvern, I'm the Pen's resident Almost Dragonic Brand Pheonix Accessory Clinic™ and Part-Time Almost Dragonic Brand Flame Spirit Occult Business Agent™." Pheonix stares at Wyvern and raises a brow. "Uhh, could you maybe repea-" "And I must say that you're in luck." Wyvern sneers and sticks out a forked tongue. "Special two for one deal's happening today only! Buy one Almost Dragonic Brand Smoke Repellent Egyption Bird Headdress™, and recieve a Almost Dragonic Brand Sacrificial Altar Brochure™ absolutely (free excluding tax). And let'sss not forget the price cuts, you have to see'em to believe'em." Wyvern dips the orange feather into his inkwel and begins to jot down pricing figures on his piece of paper. Pheonix's eyes widen as the feather causes the words to ingrain themselves on the page with a sizzle. Wyvern jumps as the paper sets on fire in his claws, and begins running in frantic circles around Pheonix, tossing the flaming sheet up and down. "Aaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeee!" ;-)