Wyvern

I recently read through this story from beginning to end, and found it very enjoyable Orlan. :-) I really like how you interconnected your previous works in it, with the confrontation between Donoxon and Taleth and the reappearence of Elistan (in obssessive villain form!) all adding to the intrigue and excitement of the story. The truth behind Taleth's memory of Rysabella's assassination and Elistan's alternate "interpretation" of the event were also very well thought out, and I really liked how you played out the emotions between Taleth and Rysabella in the final conflict. The character of Al and the fearful smalltown mentality of Anage were also very well incorporated... I like how Taleth finally saved someone he cared about when he acted out and covered Al from the wrath of Sedait's Final Gift, even if her parents were still burned. I'm hoping we'll see a story about the grown up Alexstraza, some day...?

The only part of this story that didn't really vibe with me was Rysabella's total rage towards Taleth after hearing Elistan's interpretation of her assassination. I can certainly imagine her angry and hurt after seeing it play out, but her reactions seemed a bit extreme given the long length of time she's spent with Taleth and the number of not-so-evil deeds she's seen him perform. Even if she never does listen to her heart until the end, I'd figure that her head would send her some warning signs... and besides, her previous interpretation of the event also had Taleth murdering her. Aside from that, I thought there were times in the story where Taleth's immortality may have been referenced a little too much... it's bad-ass and crucial in Taleth's victories, true, but one reference per battle is more than enough. ;-)

Anyway, excellent stuff as always Orlan. :-) Sorry it took me so long to getting to read through the completed version of this, I definitely enjoyed it.

I went to the movie house with Yui-chan and saw "Nacho Libre" today.

The premise and setting of "Nacho Libre" are quite interesting, as it involves a friar cook at a monastery in Mexico who's passionate about becoming a famous wrestler. Jack Black does a very good job in his lead role as Nacho, with his comic facial expressions and maneuvers pretty much stealing the show as far as the film's comedy is concerned. The humor definitely had its ups and downs, as the absurdity of the wrestling matches was occasionally knocked down a few pegs through pointless fart/poop jokes. The heroic orphan-saver trait of Nacho and the frequent appearences of impressionable kids had "Nickolodeon Productions" written all over them. Still, it wasn't a bad film overall... then again, I might have been spoiled by the presence of Yui-chan, since having her around to comment is bound to increase the entertainment value tenfold. (Yui's presence only managed to bump "I Robot" up to "mediocre," though.)

I'm really impressed by the depth of a number of these Pen movie reviews; a thanks goes out to everyone who's posted their impressions. Patrick - out of curiousity, did "Aeon Flux" originate as a comic book, or as a cartoon show on MTV?

Wyvern slowly makes his way up a grassy Cabaret incline that fades off into a static Astral platform, hopping on one leg due to the grip of the black asp that clings to the other. The overgrown lizard pauses to catch his breath near a half-fading death metal star (think GWAR, only less known), then fiddles through his possessions until he comes across a piece wood that's similar in shape and size to the item he recently auctioned off. Wyvern shakes the stick and grins, then waits until Big Pointy One has emerged in his usual browsing ritual before stepping forward.

"Happy Birthday, Sssstick." Wyvern tags the wood with an Almost Dragonic Brand Barbed Wire Coil Birthday Ribbon™ as he extends it. "The Mahogoney Travel Log was auctioned off, so I got you another leg from my Office desk, just to ssstraighten it out for good measure. No sspecial properties with this one I'm 'fraid, but it's probably good for bonking somebody over the head or using as a makeshift javelin."

With that, Wyvern bows and turns to leave, only to freeze up as the black asp slithers around his leg a bit and lets out a menacing hiss.

"Oh, and if you see Toilet Duck... please tell him I could use some help in relieving myself of a certain snake problem. Thanksss."

Wyvern nods once again to Stick, then begins wandering off back in the direction of the hill that leads to the Cabaret Room exit. The lizard ignores the fading death metal star as it bites the head off of a grazing sheep in its final moments of existence, and instead repeats the phrase "Happy Birthday Psimon" in his mind, hoping that the psionic might pick up the signal from whichever part of the land he currently resides in.

;-)

OOC: A Happy Birthday to the Big Pointy One and Psimon. Hope you have good ones.

"G-g-geld?" Wyvern plugs his bleeding snout with the edge of a claw as he skims over the curves that have developed in Anna's period of absence. The overgrown lizard struggles in his pinned position below the defunct bronco's anus as Anna continues to squeeze. "Y-you're asssking me fer-?"

"Pleeeeeaaaaaaase?" Anna wiggles against him in a manner that many non-almost dragonic pennites might have considered innocent. "Just a few geld to start with?"

"Well, I, errrr..." Wyvern lets his wings flap once, then snaps to his senses and sits up straight. "Of courssse not!"

Anna pouts and lifts herself back to her feet. A few stray pillow feathers fall from her outfit.

"Why noooooot?"

"It'sss part of your tutelage." Wyvern grumbles as he lifts himself to his feet, wiping a piece of stray meteorite from his tail. "A true patron of parties must be able to manage on a broke budget at all times. So spoketh the kegger in the Book of Morning After. Amental."

Wyvern rubs his stinger in the ground as he continues to watch Anna pout and kick up feathers. The lizard taps his foot and raises a claw to his chin, then lets out a sinister hiss and slithers back towards his tardy apprentice.

"Of course, you could make a quick bundle right here and now." Wyvern nudges Anna with a shoulder, then raises a claw and whispers. "Just set up your own contest right here, perhapssss something that judges for the Most Party-Oriented Contest? The geld'll start pouring in."

Wyvern winks, then hands Anna an Almost Dragonic Brand Combustible Blow-Up Pop™ before climbing back onto his deceased bronco platform. The reptilian Elder coughs up a bit of ash as he raises the hollow bronco horn back to his mouth.

"Sssssstep right up, easiest 50 you'll ever make!"

;-)

Two new junkfood verdicts:

Ben & Jerry's "Black and Tan" Ice Cream - I'll cosign Blondemoon's thoughts in saying that this flavor is definitely one of the best of the recent Ben & Jerry's flavor batch. :-) It's not as chunky as I usually like my ice cream flavors, but the cream stout ice cream has a really unique dry-ish taste to it and the chocolate ice cream balances it out by adding a touch of traditional flavor. Additional comedy bonus points added since the person working the register at the ice cream place told me "don't eat and drive" when I picked this one up. Very worth checking out.

Hershey's Take 5 Bar - Chocolate Cookie Edition - The most recent variation of "Take 5" falls somewhere inbetween the "White Chocolate" and "Peanut Butter" spin-offs. It's not as bad as the "White Chocolate" version, but not as good as the "Peanut Butter" version (or the original, for that matter). The chocolate cookie interior changes the texture of the bar, making it feel more like a distant relative of "Twix" than a cousin of "Take 5." Still, it's certainly not a bad bar, and it did sooth my sweet tooth's cravings.

Dr. Pepper - Berries and Cream - The "Dr. Pepper" tag on this new brand of soda has very little to do with the actual flavor, as it carries no remnants of the traditional Dr. Pepper taste. Instead, the soda tastes like a lighter cross between "Vanilla Coke" and "Fanta," with the faux-vanilla taste being the more dominant. The first few sips were interesting, but it quickly lost its appeal after that. Then again, I've never been a fan of "Vanilla Coke."

I pretty much agree with Gyrfalcon about this piece, Jonathan. :-) You presented some interesting phrasing and structure in it that really caught my attention, but I had difficulty connecting the two stanzas and was a bit lost when the second stanza transitioned into the "Tastes like bacon" line. It's definitely an eyebrow-raiser of a line, but you might want to expand upon the piece a bit to give the reader more of a hint as to what the narrator may have been tasting (whether it be an actual food or an abstraction like "defeat"). Also, out of curiousity: were the Angel/Devil lines meant to hint at a role reversal of the symbols for good and evil? I had some sense that that was the intention, but I didn't immediately equate "moonlight" to evil... perhaps you could expand upon this element of the poem for clarity, or replace 'moonlight" with a setting that has stronger connotations of evil?

Anyway, this definitely struck me as a very ambitious piece, and I'm intrigued to see if you'll develope it further and expand upon it. :-) Very nice to see a new post from you, Jonathan. Welcome back!

"Remember, the only contests that can be judged are contesssts hosted within this booth, and all contesssts hosted here must be comical!" Wyvern shouts through his makeshift megaphone, two tones too loud, not noticing Katzaniel as her hair is blown back in a wave of Wyvie breath. "Come on up, don't be shy! Take a Blow-Up Pop - they're nitroglycericious!™"

Wyvern pauses and straightens his back as he notices Katzaniel next to his stand, a clothespin on her nose and light traces of ash visible on her fur. The overgrown lizard sets his hollow bronco horn down with an apologetic smirk, then hops off of his platform to examine Katzaniel more closely.

"Glad to sssee you could make it, Katz!" Wyvern stares to the left and the right of Katzaniel, then jots down a couple of notes. "And great newsss on not minding the exploitation. I'm sure that, with a 'lil effort on my part, there'll be plenty more barely legal activities where that came from!"

Wyvern breaks out into a gaudy laugh that makes Katzaniel's tail go limp. The overgrown lizard examines Katz's hair for a moment and scribbles a few more notes with a nod.

"I hope there'sss a contest for 'Contest with the most Almost Dragonic Brand Advertising,' that one'd be in the bag..."

"Uhhh, Wyvern?" Katzaniel keeps her voice flat as Wyvern lifts her tail in search of something. She grits her teeth as he jots down more notes. "What are you doing, exactly?"

"Oh, nothing." Wyvern twists his snout and frowns as he reads back over his notes. "Hmmm, not a malard in sight. What wasss the name of your contest again?"

;-)

Nice poem, Tasslehof. :-) I especially liked the line about the goose bumps that form on the neck of the loved one, as it almost suggested something less than positive and seemed to add another dimension to the piece. The impressions that you detail here are nicely done for the most part, though the statement in the last line felt less genuine to me and struck me as a bit of a cliché. I think that dropping this line and ending the poem with a line that is more connected to the details of the specific relationship that the poem presents would give it a more powerful close.

Always nice to read a new poem from you, Tass. :-) Thanks for sharing this here.

Wyvern fumbles through the littered mess of sheep, pillows, and meteorite fragments that currently span the Conservatory floor, limping across the debris while the mysterious black asp continues clinging to his left leg. The lizard comes to a halt as he nears the remains of his Smoke Cloud Sky Lift, and pulls out a large folded pyramid chart from under his arm. The asp hisses as Wyvern fiddles with the diagram until it's stretched to its full size. The reptilian Elder places the chart between a group of not-so-sturdy pillows to the rear of his booth, then sets a small counter of Almost Dragonic Brand Combustible Blow-Up Pops™ at the front and takes a stand on top of the cloud bronco wreckage. The lizard grins and waves a claw at passers-by, then wacks at a sealed sign with his tail. A parchment promptly unravels adjacent to the lollipop table.

---

E-Z GELD E-Z GELD E-Z GELD

Wyvern presents...

The Carnival Contest Judging Contest Scam Event!

Judge Contests about Contests that concern Contests!

Big Geld ... Positions of Power ... Complimentary Explosives (and/or Sweets)

ALL IN ONE BOOTH!

E-Z GELD E-Z GELD E-Z GELD

---

Wyvern cackles and rubs his claws together, ignoring the tightening grip of the asp as he raises a hollow bronco horn and begins speaking through it.

"Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in the history of contests judging contests!" Wyvern raises an Almost Dragonic Brand Combustible Blow-Up Pop™ with a lit fuse and tosses it into the air like a firecracker. "I will be judging for the 'Contest with the Largest Number of Ducks.' Please feel free to host your contest in this booth area, and make sssure it concerns other contestsss hosted here. The prize for winning will be a dissscarded candy wrapper, chewed on by yoursss truly."

Wyvern strikes a toothy grin, then cries out as the Blow-Up Pop that he tossed lands back on his horns before exploding.

;-)

OOC: Feel free to start your own contest about contests within this thread, keeping in mind that the base of your contest should be something comic and trivial (ex: a contest for "The Contest with the Funkiest Hats," as opposed to one for "The Best Contest"). People hosting contests can provide prizes as they see fit, though prizes are not necessary by any means. Once the close of this thread is announced, people will announce the winners of their respective comic contests, and will be awarded 50 earned geld via Carnival Clause #3. Responses must be roleplayed. Have fun, all!

I like this set of poems, Mira. :-) A number of the concepts and images that you presented in it stood out to me, particularly the "I won't take me as me" line in the edited version and the newspaper simile. I think the edits you made are an improvement over the original version, and felt that there was a certain theme of age and languid movement that all of the pieces shared. In terms of potential things to improve, I didn't like the use of "rendered" in the sixth line of the last poem, as it struck me as having a more formal tone than the rest of the piece. Perhaps some other word could be used in its place, like "turns"?

Anyway, this is some nice stuff. :-) Thanks for sharing these here, Mira. It's nice to see you posting again.

Wyvern lets out a low growl that syncs up with the sounds of his stomach, watching as Patrick cuddles Chiroq's lettuce leaves from a distance. The overgrown lizard picks at the arm of his rickety chair, breaking off a chunk of wood as his eyes turn to the object currently on display on the auction rock. Stoomp's middle finger was held up high for all to see, and the pair of eyes that dotted it only seemed to amplify the insulting gesture.

"Hmmmm." Wyvern raises a claw to his snout and wipes a trace of ash. "An all-seeing dwarf hand... might be tasssty with lemon eyedrops and garnish. Served on a toothed platter, perhapsss?"

Wyvern mumbles to himself and scrawls something down with a leaky quill, then holds up his sign.

"15 geld for the dwarf hand with the eyeballs on it!"

;-)

Wyvern grumbles to himself, decidedly bored in his secluded corner of the Astral, watching the orbiting star as it continues spinning around its base in hypnotic twists. Intergalactic mosh pits were one thing, but the starlit setting distress signal didn't seem to be doing the trick, and what was the point of listening to silent rock music when there was nobody to silently criticisize it with? Besides, the asp on his leg just seemed to keep getting tighter. Wyvern turns towards the glowing neon sign, squinting to examine the words closer.

"Next time, I'll have to remember to ussse red." Wyvern taps a claw against a crooked glowing 'S,' and watches as the letter blinks on and off for a moment. He pauses and frowns, then taps the letter again only to recieve a thorough electric shock that sets his scales on end. Wyvern jitters and bounces in place for a moment, then slams a foot down and starts smoothing out his crooked mess of scales, almost getting bitten by the ever-present asp in the process.

"Dammit all, now where wasss that staircassse?" Wyvern wanders about in a directionless manner, tapping at the ground with his tail stinger to avoid another celestial plummet. The lizard pauses as he passes near the blinking light of the setting keyboard, and stares at it for a long moment in silence. He glances left and right, then hops beside the device with an electric-charged hiss.

"Well, I sss'pose I could give it a whirl while noone's looking." Wyvern strikes a gleeful grin and types in 'Midastouchstripclubincandylandwithchocolatejetskiscopes' before hitting 'Enter.' Sparks begin flying from the lizard's claws as he rubs them together in anticipation, but he frowns when the current illusions turn static and the keyboard freezes up in its 'Loading...' screen.

"Awwwww MAN." Wyvern kicks the floor as he watches the blinking lights of the keyboard turn red. "Ssssystem overload? Ah well, at least it got rid of the illusion of that annoying-"

Wyvern freezes up as he feels something slither across his leg. A terrified scream echoes throughout the Pen quarters moments later:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssppppppppp!!!"

;-)

OOC: The Carnival Setting Circuit can no longer generate specific settings due to technical difficulties. However, the malfunction sparked by the device will cause fragments of illusions from the settings of Evangeline, Sweetcherrie, Ayshela, and Quincunx to combine and blend in random ways with the traditional Pen Keep. This "Illusionary Glitch" setting shall last until the end of the Carnival... beware of the Void cows.

I recently saw "An Inconvenient Truth" in theatres, and watched "Oldboy" on DVD a few weeks back.

Al Gore's film "An Inconvenient Truth" was decent, though not amazing. It's certainly an important film in its portrayal of the facts of global warming and the consequences that may ensue, but it didn't really keep me engaged at all times in its presentation of the facts. To his credit, Al Gore is a surprisingly good narrator, with a nice sense of humor and a very personal take on things... the trouble is that science facts and equations have never particularly interested me, and I was occasionally bored by the explanations of CO2 and the flow of water currents. Still, it is an important film, and I did like the quotes that Gore chose and the "Futurama" clip that was shown. If your ignorant about the state of the planet's environment, seeing this movie certainly couldn't hurt.

"Oldboy" is the rare case of a film that was very well done in several regards, but which I didn't like that much personally. Without revealing too much of the plot, "Oldboy" is a Korean film about a man who is kidnapped after a night of drinking and imprisoned in a cell for 15 years, without any explanation of why. His thoughts focus on revenge against his unknown captors over the years until one day, he's drugged up and let out on top of the roof of some random building. The film was well-directed, with plenty of eyebrow-raising moments and a truly shocking twist near the end. The reason that I can't fully recommend it, however, is that I personally found it a bit too sadistic. Don't get me wrong, I can stand watching things like people getting teeth slowly twisted out of their mouth with a hammer edge (though I don't particularly enjoy those scenes), but this film went well beyond its physical violence and into a kind of mental sadism. It seemed as if almost all of the characters had the focus of hurting each other in the worst possible ways, and the intricate (albeit far-fetched) plot seemed to really revolve around excruciatingly painful forms of revenge. Still, the horrifying twist near the end has definitely been haunting me for the past few weeks, and several other scenes from it are still vivid in my mind. "Oldboy" is technically a very good movie, but I doubt that I'd watch it again.

On a side note: with srsizzy's recent review, that makes four extremely negative pennite reviews of "Ultraviolet" without a single positive thing to say about it! Honestly, I'm almost tempted to watch it now just to see how terrible it really is... that kind of bad must really be awful!

I really like this poem, sea vegetable. :-) The manner that you play with language in the wording of the piece stood out to me in particular, with the multiple connotations of "sea saw" and the rhythm of "Swell after swell" both striking me as intriguing. There also seems to be a real refinement in the way you've phrased the poem, as there's very little excessive language or cumbersome words. The only part of the poem that I didn't like were the more grandiose metaphors ("the heart of hope," "the dark despair"), which felt like more typical poetic conventions and came across as a bit clichéd. Also, I didn't quite understand the meaning behind the line "Every height a beautiful reveal," and you may want to revise this line for more clarity.

Great stuff, overall. I really like poetry that takes risks in its uses of language, and I feel that you took such risks in this piece. Very well done, sea vegetable. Thanks for sharing this here. :-)

I went to see a free in-store performance by Murs at Amoeba Records in Berkeley this evening

This is actually the first in-store performance that the Berkeley branch of Amoeba Records has hosted, and space seemed to be a bit of an issue. While the Amoeba Record stores in Los Angeles and San Francisco have full stages for their frequent live performances, the Berkeley Amoeba was limited to a narrow tabletop for a stage and a couple of speakers in a corner of the store. Amoeba employee and parttime M.C Wonway warmed the crowd up a bit by calling people to the "stage" and freestyling about whatever poses they struck, just killing time while other employees were setting up the laptop that had Murs's beats on it.

After a short wait, Murs came up and did a question and answer session with the crowd while Amoeba employees continued to set up the stage. He seemed just as down-to-earth as ever, and answered everyone's questions in a really friendly and comic manner. The Q&A almost felt more like a long two-way discussion between Murs and the audience. After some technical difficulties were solved, Murs put on a short set of tracks from his various albums, including segments of tracks that he colloborated on with Slug of Atmosphere. He also interspersed his set with plenty of comedy, including a spontaneous interpretation of a Kriss Kross track and plenty of flirtation with one girl in the front row. Despite the poor stage set-up and limited performance time, Murs put on a very good set.

Here are a few pics of Murs and myself which didn't come out good... feel free to poke fun at the "groupie-ness" they seem to suggest. x_x #1 - chilled eyes pose, #2 - tender moment pose, #3 - serious business pose

It seems a bit too early to judge this piece with only the Prologue of the chapter posted thus far, but I did like the way that you framed your application piece within the context of Megumi and Mai's exchange. :-) The characters were given some nice details, and the setting felt anime-ish with an almost futuristic feel to it. I'm interested in learning more about the nature of Mai and Megumi's exchange, and look forward to reading the first chapter in its entirety.

There's definitely a morbid progression in this series of letters, to the point of total devastation... The recording of you reading it is definitely a treat, and I didn't see the melody in this piece until I heard it channeled through your singing voice. :-) I like how you changed the tone of your voice as the letters progressed, and think that listening your sung rendition is essential to fully appreciating the piece.

Thanks for sharing. *Wyvern hisses the melody on his way out*

srsizzy,

I recently read through the three chapters that you posted from your story "The Void," and want you to know that I enjoyed them for the most part. :-) The plot of the story seems very well thought out, with plenty of interconnected details and engaging revelations. While the focus of the story seems to revolve around Jackson and Vincent, I found myself really relating to the character of David, as the way that his childhood "hallucinations" turn out to be based on something real made me sympathize with him. I really like how you initially introduce Vincent's character as an evil "ghost," and then gradually show the reader that he's more of a force of good and one of the lead protagonists of the story. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of a villain Kadz is (you've built suspense around him, to say the least!), and am interested in seeing whether or not the perspectives of Genevieve and David will continue to be touched upon in the narrative.

In terms of possible improvements, I felt that a little more detail in the characteristics and pasts of the college student characters might help the reader relate to them more, particularly in the cases of Jeremy and Jackson. Out of the current college crowd, David stood out to me most with his troubled past of hospitalizations and feeling of being an outcast. Genevieve mentioned that Jackson was considered the "leader" of their circle of friends, so perhaps some moments of Jackson's past leadership could be touched upon to draw us closer to him? You could also note one or two physical characteristics to distinguish the characters from each other and seperate them from the common college crowd... I was actually hoping for some physical descriptions for Mandy White or Steve after hearing the dialogue based on them. Speaking of which, I also thought that the extensive use of dialogue in the car ride of the third chapter dragged a bit, though the various details that you presented through it were very intriguing. One way to improve this might be to interject the scene with a bit more action and urgency to pace it better, or to only reveal a few of the details and then switch back to the perspective of Genevieve or David.

Anyway, this is a nice read so far, and I commend you in your ambition. :-) If you feel frightened about the possibility of browsers reading over your story and stealing your ideas, I'd be happy to move the thread to one of the more private Pen forums, such as 'Under the Oaktree", the "Writer's Workshop", or "The Scarlett Pen" (you might want to mention that your story contains profanity and mature situations as a subheading, actually).

Wyvern strings curses together like "The Very Best of Cannibal Corpse," struggling up the invisible staircase in loud clunks and hisses. He teeters as he reaches the uppermost plane, balancing himself between the tangled chains of his outfit and the black asp that remains coiled around his leg. He stumbles across the stretch of space, ignoring the bleeping sounds of a nearby sattelite and making his way towards the constellation of a keyboard. From the distance of the Pen's chambers below, the blinking lights of the machinery could easily be mistaken for the twinkle of a tiny star... but Wyvern could identify that disjointed light pattern anywhere.

"Yeep!"

A star narrowly misses Wyvern's horns, spinning in orbit around small planet. The lizard twists his nose as an open vortex spews a cloud of steam, and pauses next to a large hunk of floating machinery that doesn't seem to be doing anything at all. The asp on Wyvern's leg seems to tighten its grip as he approaches the rapid flashes of the setting keyboard circuit.

"Well, I sss'pose the actual music bit may have to wait 'til next concert." Wyvern lifts his claws and headbangs a salute. "Rock, rock on."

With that, Wyvern places a neon-lit sign face-down on the unseen plane. The words buzz on and off, blinking to the pennites below.

>>

OOC: This is just a reminder that the Carnival setting is once again available to change from someone who hasn't changed it yet, and has been available to change for the last four days. The setting will continue to be 'Pain in the Astrals' until it's changed. Have fun. ;-)

Wyvern practically knocks one of the planks of his rickety chair off as he turns his head towards Patrick. The reptilian Elder lets out a low hiss as considers being one-upped by 10 geld, then sighs and leans back in his seat for a moment to gaze up at the milky sea of space. He strokes his chin with a studded glove, then digs into a sack at his side and pulls out a large tome labeled "666 Ways to Skewer a Wiggly Cabbage." Wyvern breezes past recipes for Stuffed Inside-Out Wiggly Cabbage and Extra-Wiggly Cabbage Jello before arriving at the bookmarked page, which offers the ingredients for Wiggly Cabbage Casserole. The overgrown lizard drools at the centerfold image of the casserole, sliced into thin slivers and gouged with skewers of tasty vegetables, a steamy feast of a cabbage. The scratch and sniff circle on the page has been scratched to oblivion, but the smell of the gourmet dish still seems to waft from the numerous claw markings.

"Sssuch a fine cuisine." Wyvern sniffs to himself, then raises another sign. "60 geld, I'm famished!"

Wyvern skitters over billowing stretches of Astral space, feeling the vibrations of the silent music in his soul as the stars glow in and out of focus. The overgrown lizard tucks a small rectangular package under his claws as he makes his way into an illusionary version of the Astral Chaos Fortress plane, which has been decked out like a classic rock museum in the current setting. Wyvern passes by several broken guitars and dented cymbals before coming across what appears to be a large portrait of Pink Floyd. He pauses as he notices that David Gilmour seems to have a rainbow-colored toupée at the front of the pic, and raises a brow as he finds that the dark "moon" in the background ressembles a large rubber egg.

"Zool...?" Wyvern squints in disbelief, slowly registering the current look of Zool's canvas in his almost dragonic nogin. "Issssat really you?"

"Yep." Zool adjusts his colorful toupée and glances back at the huge egg that graces the background of his image. "Eh, it could be worse... the Bon Jovi portrait is a couple of exhibits down, at least."

Wyvern snickers, then pulls the rectangular package from under his armpit.

"I jussst wanted to wish ya a Happy Birthday and give you this." Wyvern checks for any signs of watercolor, then moves a bit closer to Zool's portrait. "Hope ya like it."

Wyvern unwraps the gift in front of Zool to reveal a portrait of an unwrapped rectangular gift.

"This way, you'll never feel like you finished unwrapping everything, and it'll be as if another B-day had never passed. Have a great one buddy!"

;-)

Wyvern grumbles and rubs the back of his horns as he considers the 100 geld mahogony marketing campaign that could have been, then perks up as Sweetcherrie displays Chiroq on the bidding rock. The lizard licks his lips and lets his tail swing back and forth, eyeing the cabbage with greedy eyes and listening to the creak of the rickety rock concert chair beneath him.

"Awwwwwwwww, isn't he precious?" Wyvern distorts his eyes to a kawaii state, cooing and clapping his claws together. "I have the perfect home for him. A silver platter, with a little silver roof, next to a spoon and some nice curly onion cheese doodles. Wiggly Cabbage Soup, here I come!"

Gwaihir's jaw drops open just as the rest of the auction audience gasps. All eyes turn towards Wyvern for a moment.

"Oh come on guys, you know I'm kidding." Wyvern winks and begins scrawling his bid on a spare sign. "Wiggly Cabbage Soup is sooooo two Carnivals ago! Rest assured that if I win Chiroq, he'll be transformed into a nice, steaming Wiggly Cabbage Casserole, with plenty of condiments on the side. Heck, I might even end up sharing him with one of the Bachelorettesss... nothing like a hot meal to get her in the mood."

Gwaihir raises a finger to object as Wyvern tosses on his old "Chez Pedro's" bib. The still-spotted sheet contrasts with the grunge leather gear that Wyvern wears in sickening shades of grey.

"Don'tcha worry Gwai." Wyvern raises his sign, revealing a bid of 25 geld. "If I win, Chiroq will not die from neglect... just a combination of boiling water and kitchen knife incisions."

I recently saw "Syriana" on DVD and "Click" in the theatres.

"Syriana" is a very complex and well thought out film... one that I actually ended up watching twice in order to pick up on all the intricate storylines and character relations that it establishes. It's directed by Stephen Gaghan, who did the film "Traffic," and uses a similar broken form of narration that focusses on the lives of several characters instead of just one. Gaghan characterizes the various figures in the film excellently, with plenty of realistic detail and dialogue. He also delivers a strong message about terrorism, and the various forms that it can take. The all-star cast list certainly doesn't hurt the film either, with George Clooney, Matt Damon, Christopher Plumber, Jeffrey Wright, and Chris Cooper all participating as characters. I wouldn't call the film mind-blowing, but it's definitely worth seeing and thinking about.

"Click" is the latest Adam Sandler flick, and frankly, it doesn't click. I normally avoid films produced by Adam Sandler and starring Adam Sandler, but I'd read several reviews touting this as one of the strongest films of '06 so far and decided to give it a shot. To the film's merit, the concept behind it is fairly original and results in a couple of clever ideas. The story revolves around Adam Sandler's overworked character coming across a universal remote control at "Bed, Bath and Beyond" (*cue cash register noise*) that can control his life. He gets the option of fastforwarding through bits, adjusting color and volume, and even using a commentary feature. Unfortunately, the humor in this film remains strictly Adam Sandler... Dogs humping stuffed ducks, people farting in each others faces, and plenty of good ol' fashioned "I need to go to the bathroom" situations. I think that if the idea of this film had been tackled by a good director and some funny actors, it might have made a really great comedy. As it stands, this is just another crappy Adam Sandler movie.

I might have to check out "An Inconvenient Truth" on your recommendation, reverie. My fear in seeing it would be Al Gore's narration of it, but if it kept you engaged that's probably a very good sign.

Junkfood Renaissance - Special Ice Cream Edition. I recently experimented with a wide range of new Ben & Jerry's flavors, with some mixed results.

Ben & Jerry's "Vermonty Python" Ice Cream - This new flavor heralds the name of Ben & Jerry's state with pride through a combination of coffee liquor ice cream, cookie crumb swirls and novelty fudge cows. The ice cream and cows are both good, but it's the cookie crumb swirl that marks this flavor as one of the best of the new bunch, with a very interesting crunchy texture and great taste. I don't know if this flavor is good enough to merit the signature Ben & Jerry's cow mascots within it, but it's definitely a fine addition to their catalogue and a flavor worth revisiting.

Ben & Jerry's "Neapolitan Dynamite" Ice Cream - This is probably the least original of Ben & Jerry's new flavors, but sometimes simplicity yields powerful results. "Neapolitan Dynamite" is simply two of Ben & Jerry's existing flavors, "Chocolate Fudge Brownie" and "Cherry Garcia," set side by side in the same carton. The flavors aren't mixed, but rather split into two perfect halves within the container. Not the most creative flavor, but those that know their Ben & Jerry's know that "Chocolate Fudge Brownie" and "Cherry Garcia" are two of their most critically acclaimed flavors for a good reason. This might a good flavor to introduce people to Ben & Jerry's with.

Ben & Jerry's "Turtle Soup" Ice Cream - This one didn't impress me. Ben & Jerry's spin on turtle soup consists of vanilla ice cream, a caramel swirl, and fudge-covered caramel cashews. The obvious highlight of the flavor is the loaded cashews, but they aren't really stunning enough to hold together the blandness of the rest of the flavor. Skip this one, it's a flop.

Ben & Jerry's "Baklava" Ice Cream - Now here's a flavor that fully demonstrates Ben & Jerry's knack for twisted experimentation! For those that don't know what Baklava is, it's a pastry consisting of thin bread dough, honey, and chopped nuts. Ben & Jerry's has incorporated this into an ice cream flavor with relative ease, blending an odd mixture of honey ice cream and real chunks of baklava. Whether or not the flavor deserves multiple passes is uncertain, but the scoop that I had of it was very interesting and tasted great. Definitely the most unique of the recent flavor batch, and one of the best.

Ben & Jerry's "Key Lime Pie" Ice Cream - I'm biased against this flavor, since I'm not a fan of key lime and would never order a flavor like this on my own. A friend of mine ordered it, however, so I decided to try a spoonful. The key lime flavor in it was way too strong for me to want to take another taste, but I did like the inclusion of little pieces of pie crust. Still, not a flavor that I'd order.

Flavors that are still on my taste hitlist: "Black and Tan" (cream stout ice cream mixed with chocolate ice cream), "American Pie" (apple pie ice cream with apples and pie crust pieces) and "Banana on the Rum" (banana ice cream with brown sugar and rum swirl... though not sure if I'm going to try this, since I hate banana ice cream).

Wyvern trips through Astral space, rolling over long illusionary stretches before halting near Adriana Nursely's feet.

Perfectly timed arrival, thinks Wyvern, peeping up Adriana's personal pantyhose. This year's best voyeurism...?

"No way." Adriana looks straight ahead, turning towards Time Magazine's Tom Flailigen. "Top story: Nursing profession requires day by day sexual harassment suites."

Wyvern says nothing, entranced by perfect curves.

"Man." Tom squints, noticing Wyvern's tail position. "World just keeps getting uglier, sheesh."

"Hospital life never gets any cleaner." Adriana sighs, nudging Wyvern's horns underfoot. "Could use some manly hands here."

"Taking no part, ma'am." Tom jots notes between head shakes. "Thanks though, great story. Tentatively titling this piece 'Childish Lizard Eyes Nurse Woman Unabashedly.'"

"Freeze." Dr. Kerwell shoves Adriana's twelve gage near Tom's back. "Good. Now, place any incindiary nursing stories under permanent wraps."

"Oh great, like this work week could possibly get any crazier." Tom sighs, letting tabloids drop from tight frozen fingers. "Cases are made from pointed guns, Doc. Lots... Government court cases!"

"Shut up." Kerwell's trigger finger twitches. "Pointed guns can also make used ammo cases, sometimes. Call Kerwell Hospital Branch's company complaint number, we'll send Time Magazine's tabloid group compensation. Now scram."

Dr. Kerwell watches Tom Flailigen flee, then sneers towards Adriana.

"Anything else?"

"Uhm, DUUUHH." Adriana stomps over Wyvern's face. "Giant lizards staring between legs are problematic, just like those nursing sexual harassment facts. Kill this damn footstool!"

OOC:

Memoing Katzaniel -

25 most common English nouns, ordered: 40 geld

0 words used from List B: 10 geld

Roleplaying connecting characters from Gwaihir and Patrick's responses: 5 geld

Wyvern cuteness factor: 1 geld.......? ;-)