Wyvern

Nice to see the Portal back. Minor thing to edit: I notice that the "Forums" link in the Portal currently links one to the Portal rather than the forums, though the "Pen is Mightier than the Sword" link takes one to the boards. I logged into the Admin CP to try and correct the "Forums" link, but didn't dare touch the coding stuff when I saw it there. Not a major thing, but something to correct when some admin with coding skills has a second.

Anyway, thanks a bunch for reinstalling it Yui. :-)

Good poem, Mardrax. :-) Like "Ravings of a restless mind," the intricate rhyme scheme that you string throughout the stanzas was original and worked very well in holding my attention throughout the poem. The ball metaphor at the end was also great, and I liked the way that you phrased things throughout the poem. It felt very condensed and refined, with no excess in the arrangement of the words.

One thing that seems to catch me every time I read the poem is the arrangement of the fourth lines of the stanzas. I like how the lines gradually progress in syllables, but the transition from the fourth line of the first stanza to the fourth line of the second stanza still feels a bit jarring due to the differing syllable counts. I also wasn't certain if the reference to "plenty games" in the first stanza was relevent to the poem as a whole, though the ball metaphor at the end of it might be the connection there. Beginning the last line with "though" makes it feel more like a side note than a vital piece of the poem... you might consider rephrasing it.

Anyway, this poem's very well done. :-) Thanks for sharing it.

Wyvern raised a claw to his chin and stared at the stranger in a mixture of confusion and awe. The Almost Dragonic Brand Discomfort Inn™ and accompanying cardboard cut-out town had been a miserable failure from day one, probably due its location in the backwoods of the Pen's Courtyard, only a few minutes walking distance from the free rooming of the Pen Keep. The reptilian Elder had come to tear the place down and use the cardboard for a new design of Almost Dragonic Brand Go(Slow)Carts™, but it seemed that his luck may have taken a turn for the marketable. He flashed a toothy grin at the stranger and rapped his claws on the counter.

"A room for the night?! Why of coursssse." The overgrown lizard pulled out a massive pamphlet of sheets and set them on the counter in front of HawkWing. "It's 800 geld for the floor, or 1000 geld if you want to rest on the rug on the floor. There's also a manditory 50 geld fee for letting chilly air into the room, it'sss a delicate essstablishment ya know?"

Wyvern flipped the twenty page pamphlet open to the first page, then pointed at a dotted line at the bottom of it.

"Just put a check mark next to floor or rug, depending where ya wanna sleep, then sign here." Wyvern began flipping through the pages. "And here, here, here, here, here, and here. And here as well."

"Hmmm." HawkWing frowned and raised a brow at the long document, noticing the words "investment" and "agreement of consent" written over several pages. "I don't know, the prices seem steep."

"For luxury such as thisss, it's a small price!" Wyvern waved a claw in the air, accentuating the dingy look of the single room of cardboard and rotting wood. "And if you sign up and pay now, I'm gonna throw in a ssspecial offer. Wait here."

Wyvern turned towards a makeshift coat hangar resting at the corner of the bar, then paused and turned back to HawkWing for a moment. He reached under the bar counter and pulled out a cardboard cut-out of a waitress, then leaned it against the seat next to HawkWing's before racing over to the coat hangar. The lizard tossed on a large white coat and pulled out a folder labeled "Devil's Advocate" as he reapproached HawkWing.

"Buy a night on the floor or rug today, and get a haircut absolutely free! My barber credentials." Wyvern pulled a sheet of paper from his folder and handed it to HawkWing. The Saiyan stared at the blank sheet of paper and frowned, flinching as Wyvern began measuring his lightning hair with a long ruler. "So waddaya say? I could turn this into an afro in no time..."

;-)

I recently read through this story and really liked it, Zadown. :-) It was written in an interesting manner that I wasn't really expecting from you, with a more of a focus on setting and a sort of fragmented feel to the various elements of plot. I like how you initially introduced Akshnâk Törhamnr as an indecipherable piece of orc dialect, and then later revealed that it was the name of the orc leader in Marchello's letter. The level of detail was excellent as usual, particularly in the descriptions of Zeitgeist, Receptionist, Man-At-Arms, Abjurer, Elaborator and Liar. Their elaborate masks and odd walks really made them stand out in my mind. I also really liked the scene where "Brightblade" revealed the mystic Tarot cards to Esphar, as the exchanges between them seemed very characteristic of the Dreamer. The writing of this story felt like it was striving to do something artistic with language, and the bleak picture that you painted of the setting and fate of the tower were well done.

While the switching points of view in this story were interesting, I felt that they fragmented the story and made it difficult to read at points. The central points of view from "Brightblade" and Faaye were very well placed, but I didn't feel that the points of view of Jankiize or Badger were necessary. The post about Jankiize doesn't seem to be connected to the story, and the brief glimpse of Badger's point of view confused me as I initially thought it was Brightblade. I also didn't understand why Badger wanted to curse the Dreamer, though it could be an element of his character that I missed. Finally, I was a bit uncertain as to why the Dreamer decided to hang out with these soldier guys in the first place. Faaye mentioned that he was sort of playing the "King o' Ants," so was he just getting his kicks out of being a badass around humans?

Anyway, great stuff as usual. :-) I'll be sure to check out "H4x" and any other stories you have in the works.

"Oh, of course not Officer. I was simply trying to sell Sweet here one of the smaller horses... her parental guardians ain't nowhere to be seen." Wyvern glances in both directions with a shady grin, then reaches behind his "Uncle Sam" hat and pulls out a strong twig. The overgrown lizard looks up at the sky and slides the twig across the table towards Deputy Stick. "One of my finest, from my personal ssstash. Not just something I'd pull off a tree and give to any ol' sap, y'know? She's yours... if you can dismiss the legal horse buying age in this Conservatory for one day."

BigPointyStick picks up the twig and raises a brow, examining it for a moment. His eyes turn towards his rugged boots as his sidekick hops forward.

"..."

"Why, Deputy O'Hare! I didn't see you there." Wyvern curses inwardly while maintaining his happy salesman demeanor. He reaches under his table and pulls out a small tumbleweed. "And what have we here? An Almost Dragonic Brand Tumbleweed Hay Snack™, compliments of the house. Errr, well, sssalestand to be exact."

"..."

"Waddaya mean that doesn't cut it?" Wyvern tries to suppress the menacing hiss in his voice and smiles towards the bunny. "Well, I'm sure you'll find something pleasing in this stash. How about an Almost Dragonic Brand Tumbleweed Bunny Blanke-eeEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

BigPointyStick and Deputy O'Hare jump back as what appears to be a midget on a large stick barges straight into Wyvern. The head of the stick nails Wyvern straight in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to collapse to the ground. BigPointyStick reaches for his Order pistol as people begin running out to take a look at the lone horseman. The clock strikes high noon, and the Travel Log casts its shadow along the Conservatory floor. A cow wanders out and stands in the middle of street, blocking traffic.

"Off-iccc-er," rasps Wyvern, clutching his stomach and pointing a claw in the air. "Arr-ess-st that *gasp* hor-se-man. *cough*"

The almost dragon lets out a wimpy squeal as Stoomp's Travel Log seems to rear its tip upwards, preparing to strike...

You've definitely grabbed my attention with the beginning of this story, Falcon. :-) The dialogue is very fluid, and the exchanges are witty without being unrealstic. There were plenty of interesting details in the dialogue, and the scene that you set is certainly disturbing. One thing that I'd really like to see is a few more details for the characters themselves - we know that she has a subtle glaze in her eyes, but he's kind of a blank canvas at this point.

Anyway, great dialogue, I love how confident and comfortable she still is with him at the end of the exchanges. :-) On a side note, it might be a good idea to either move this story to the Scarlett Pen or to mention that it has strong language in it in the subtitle. Noone has requested that it be moved so I've left it here, but it never hurts to be considerate. :-)

Thanks for sharing this!

Wyvern stared at Mardrax in a mixture of utter confusion and fascination over the applicant's Racouol-esque pockets.

"... Come again?"

"What's 'geld'?"

"Excuse me?" Wyvern rubbed a claw under one of his horns to make sure he was hearing things correctly. "What did you say?"

"'Geld'... what is it?"

"What's geld?!" Wyvern threw his scaly arms in the air and let out a hopeless guffaw, then began heading back in the direction of the Pen's Courtyard. "Come on. You ain't tricking me for a minute!"

"But, I really don't-"

"If you don't have pieces of gold a.k.a hard currency a.k.a the key to happiness, then I'd suggessst getting a part time job feeding Waterlily so you can save up to pay off the fees." Wyvern strode through the Courtyard, then turned to Mardrax and began scaling the wall towards his Office window. "Mark down 'Failure to produce silver ring fee' and 'Lack of financial knowledge fee' on that sheet, then get yer swirling gray mass up here so I can review your application."

Wyvern grunted and squeezed himself through the half-open window, only to find that Mardrax had already relocated himself back into the Office. A thin wisp of gray seemed to trail from the applicant's feet as he seated himself back in an applicant easychair. Wyvern promptly hopped towards the cluttered Recruiter's desk and pulled Mardrax's application from the tip of the piles, then looked it over while nodding in intervals.

"Mmmhm. Mmhmm. Mmhm." Wyvern folded the application sheet back up and tossed it back onto his desk. "Nope, sssorry. NEXT!"

Mardrax stared at Wyvern with a dumbfounded expression on his face, ingesting the overgrown lizard's response in silence for a long moment.

"What do you mean 'Nope'...?"

"Sssorry, we currently have too many applicants who hail from ╔╧╬╦╝ ╞═╡, and it's important that we maintain the diversity of the crowd here at the Pen, with the limited amount of living space and all." Wyvern leaned back in his favorite desk chair and waved a claw in the air. "Neeexxxxxxxxt!"

"You mean after all this, I'm not accepted?!" Mardrax raised a hand to his curly hair and seethed with anger, his eyes slowly turning to a shade of red. "How... dare... yo-"

Mardrax's furious voice was interupted by a long gale of almost dragonic laughter. Wyvern twirled in his chair and snatched Mardrax's application sheet back up, stamping it 'ACCEPTED.' The reptilian Elder then slammed the sheet back down on his desktop and roared with laughter, pointing a claw towards Mardrax's face.

"I-I jussst had to see if I cou-could get the eyes to, y'know?!" Wyvern slapped the asp on his knee and continued laughing as Mardrax's eyes faded back to their normal state. "HAHAHAAAW! Yah, yer ACCEPTED, now get outta here and find a way to pay that geld ya owe me, ya sucker! HAAHAAAAA!"

;-)

OOC: An ACCEPTED application piece, Mardrax. :-) I hope that you find the Pen a very friendly and cooperative community of people to share your writing with, and look forward to reading more of your stuff here. Welcome!

I recently watched three pieces of artsy cinema: Gaspar Noé's "Irreversible," Jim Jarmusch's "Mystery Train," and Spike Lee's "When the Levees Break."

To be honest, I have no idea how I was dragged into seeing "Irreversible," as I was against seeing it from the get-go. The film is very controversial for it's extreme violence, which includes an extended nine minute scene of rape. Still, I was somehow pulled into seeing it with my grandfather, and despite a few artistic flourishes with cinematography and structure, my fears were pretty much confirmed. Gaspar Noé achieves his ambition of showing sadistic violence as it really is on screen, but the problem with films like this one is that they inevitably end up being a form of sadism in and of themselves. This is an ugly and ultimately pointless film; don't bother torturing yourself with it.

"Mystery Train" is a Jim Jarmusch oddity that covers three stories about Graceland in Memphis, the birthplace of Elvis. The random humorous details and odd events that transpire are not quite as tightly knit as some of Jarmusch's better films ("Dead Man," "Ghostdog"), but the film still possesses the unique Jarmusch charm and is worth seeing if you're a fan of his stuff. The best out of the three stories is the first, which deals with two tourists from Yokohama, Japan who seem totally alienated in the Memphis atmosphere. A very quirky and fun flick.

"When the Levees Break" is Spike Lee's four-hour documentary on the events of Hurricane Katrina. I watched it on two seperate nights in two-hour segments, and found it very thorough and well done. Spike Lee leaves all of the narration of the documentary to those struck by or involved in the New Orleans tragedy, and touches upon many heart-wrenching stories. Though the documentary obviously has a central tragic focus, Spike Lee isn't afraid to switch up the tone a bit with some comedy (ex: Kanye West's televised statement) and artistic expression (poetry, song, etc.). The rich culture of New Orleans was also tied into the film very well, and it felt like a very complete documentation of events. Worth seeing.

"Everything equalsss four." Wyvern scratched his scaly chin, deep in thought, his tail swinging from side to side. "Hmmmm."

"Well, if there's anything else you'd like to discuss, just-"

"Wait!" Wyvern snapped a claw in the air and lit up like a batch of near-lethal cherrybombs. He turned to Mardrax and reached for the applicant's shoulder, only to hesitate and think better of it. One "mentally unstable red eyed bone cracker" routine was more than enough for the day. "Wait wait wait. Everything equalsss four... it makes perfect sense to me. Everything that's occured in this application process so far should have a four geld fee! Hold on for just a sec."

Wyvern pulled out a sheet of blank paper from his Devil's Advocate folder, then began scribbling a long list of pointers on it with a crooked quill. He licked his claw and rustled the page in the air for a moment, then handed it to Mardrax with a sneer. The applicant raised a brow and shifted a hand through his curly hair as he read through the almost dragonic scrawl.

----

Fees for Application Process, as of the Graffiti Removal

Compiled by Wyvern Q. AlmostDragon.

1) Boobytrapping Wyvern's quarters with some sorta mystic Chinese Fingertrap fee - 4 geld.

2) Parking your radiating stone in a "No Stoner Radiation Zone" fee - 4 geld

3) Man/elf/wolf/bear/rock/trigometric equation confusion fee - 4 geld

4) Loud monologue in Courtyard disrupting the quiet of the Library fee - 4 geld

5) Lengthy introduction time fee - 4 geld

6) Statement implying that Wyvern is "young buck punk" fee - 4 geld

7) Entering Wyvern's personal quarters without knocking, yelling, or walking into a trap fee - 4 geld

Failure to clean up after swirling gray mass escape fee - 4 geld

9) Statements implying almost dragonic obeseity through ring sizes fee - 4 geld

10) Red eyed assault incident fee - 4 geld

11) Failure to acknowledge the importance of Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™ fee - 4 geld

12) Inability to explain the four geld fee system fee - 4 geld

Almost Dragonic Brand Sales Tacks - Free upon payment.

Total geld owed thus far - 48 geld

----

"Oh, but before you pay that, there's another lil' issssue that needs resolving."

Wyvern waved a claw towards Appy and her skippyball.

"The reward may have been for reading the back of my Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™, but I'm sure this brave lil' gal was hoping to recieve that silver ring I promised. Sssince your little trap is currently registered at 'tennis ball' size, I don't think it'll do." Wyvern looked both ways, then raised a claw to Mardrax's ear and whispered. "Find a silver ring to give'er, and I just might check out yer Pen application."

I haven't played "Oblivion" and don't know much about it, but your diary story is a nice read so far Patrick. :-) My favorite thing about this narrative is the bitter tone that you add to Plaxica's perspective, as his contemplations on which race he hates the most and his venomous thoughts towards various people definitely give him that "evil breton mage" feel. Plaxica's reactions to the events that transpire are also interesting to read, particularly when things go badly for him.

In terms of potential ways to improve to the story: more description, characterization, and interaction between characters might make the events of the diary more engaging. I'm uncertain if accuracy was your main aim in recording the plot and events that transpire, but I see no reason why you couldn't add in your own bits of dialogue and description to give them more of a creative spin. :-) I'm curious as to how Plaxica views, interprets, and interacts with the other characters in the story.

Anyhoo, this is a pretty cool documentation of events so far. Thanks for sharing it. Out of curiousity, is "Oblivion" a linear plot driven game, or a massive online destiny type game?

"Hey! Hey!" Wyvern bumped his head against the half-opened Office window and let out a long string of curses, then tumbled tail first into the bulges of paperwork and candywrappers that cluttered the floor. The overgrown lizard lifted himself with a grunt, then reached into his pouch and pulled out the folding box containing Mardrax's silver ring. He pointed towards the applicant with an accusatory claw and shoved the box in front of his face.

"I followed the little trail of swirly gray. Lisssten..." Wyvern paused for a moment and bit his lip, then glanced at the words written on his thumb and squinted at the odd handwriting. "Murdock?"

"Mardrax."

"Riiiiight. Well listen, Mardrock, I'm not buyin' it for a minute."

"Hmmm? Whatever do you mean?"

"I've ssseen tricks like this before, and I ain't falling for it." Wyvern pointed at the little box with the ring and shook it in front of Mardrax's face. "You trap me with this thing and write this weird graffiti over my claws, sneak into my room unheard despite the "Keepe Owt Applycantz" sign and immaculate Almost Dragonic Brand Ale-arm™, then claim yer a vet and vanish into thin air... and you expect me to believe you undid the cursed ring like that?"

"Well... yes, actually."

"Well, I may be more of a selling type to begin with, but I don't buy it!" Wyvern tilted his tagged thumb and held it inches away from the applicant's nose. "If you'd really undone the effects of that little trap of yours, my finger would no longer be tagged. Now c'mon."

"Errrrrrr." Mardrax winced as Wyvern grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him in the direction of the Office window. "W-where are we going?"

"Back to my quarters." Wyvern continued to drag Mardrax by the arm, nearing the window. "I've got something scrawled on the back of an Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™ that needs to be read, and you're gonna be the one who finds a gal or kid to read it!"

I really like both of these poems, Mira. :-) #71 was my personal favorite of the two, as the word choice and feel of the intimate mental journey that the narrator takes were excellent. I really liked the beginnings of the both of poem #71's stanzas, as the phrasing definitely caught my attention and the rhyme scheme was very well incorporated. The only line that felt a bit off to me when I read it was the last line, as the "Still naked" part of it seemed a bit superfluous to me.

Poem #70 was also good, particularly the lines that characterized the rays of the Sun and painted them in a menacing light. The personification of the decisions at the beginning of the poem didn't feel as natural to me, however, and the reference to the sun being "safe in bed" felt a bit more typical than the rest of the poem and didn't really stand out. Still, the theme of the Sun rendering the narrator powerless was very interesting.

Very nicely done, Mira. :-) I always enjoy reading your works.

Wyvern goes cross-eyed as he reads the tiny words that span the length of his thumb, then shakes his head and curses to himself. The overgrown lizard begins searching under stacks of discarded schemes and shoving piles of wing-worn shirts to the side as the ring grows tighter around his claw.

"Go figure, the applicant's cussstodian delivers the message, and I gotta clean up the thumb graffiti." Wyvern knocks the remaining bucket of Almost Dragonic Brand Ogre-Approved Dumbrellas™ over with the back of his foot, then grimaces as the black asp provides a leg equivalent to the ring's finger squeeze. "Never have any luck with these cursed magical ring things, dammit."

Wyvern pauses as he notices the crooked edge of a trunk sticking up from under a pile of old "Bruteweiser (flash)Lite" marketing blueprints. The reptilian Elder licks his lips and sweeps the paper away, only to find an old Almost Dragonic Brand Invest-O-Chest™ covered in chocolate-dotted cobwebs. He lifts the chest with a grunt and glances at the bottom of it, then turns it and frowns at the illegible scrawl carved on the back side of it.

"Never thought this'd come back to haunt me." Wyvern curses and pushes the chest close to the tiny slit of a window, then raises a claw to his snout and calls to the pennites lounging in the courtyard below.

"'Ssscuse me! I need a gal or a brat-" Wyvern coughs for a moment. "Kid to decipher the silly message I made on the back of this chest a couple years back. First one to call it gets a free silver ring... (sales tax not included)."

OOC: Mardrax - I think that only moderators have the ability to edit topic titles and subtitles due to some annoying board technicalities. Sorry about that... PM me the title you'd like this thread changed to and I'd be happy to edit it for you. :-)

Yesterday, I went to see the 22nd annual "Bang the Drum" concert, which was hosted for free in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco.

I had seen one of the "Bang the Drum" celebrations a few Summers ago with a friend of mine, and despite an enormous line-up of performers which included several big names in hip hop, it wasn't overly impressive. This one was no different... Quite a number of talented M.Cs showed up, including Mr. Lif, J-Live, and CL Smooth, but the sound quality was awful, the sets were too short, and the crowd was very lethargic and unsupportive. I was the only one in the front dancing for the first four sets, and then a few other people started moving up front when they saw free stuff being offered out. It's very strange to see such a lazy crowd so far from the stage at a hip hop show, but I suppose that's to be expected of something held in the park. Anyway, there was quite a bit of difficulty with the sound and the speakers, but despite the lack of volume there were some good sets sprinkled throughout. J-Live and Lunar Heights offered the best sets overall with their energy and stage antics, though CL Smooth ended the concert on a very strong note with his classic track "T.R.O.Y." Mr. Lif's set was unfortunately not as good as usual, as he only had time to perform two or three tracks and barely had any volume in the sound system for his beats. Anyway, I'm not going to get into a run down of every set as there was a lot of them, but here are some photos to summarize the event. Enjoy.

1) Kevvy Kev- host of the radio show that "Bang the Drum" celebrates.

2) Opio (of Souls of Mischief) performed a couple of tracks to an empty front row.

3) Sol Rebelz did a couple of nice tracks.

4) Z-Man was surprisingly good live, with plenty of stylish dance moves and charismatic flair during his set.

5) Bucc Rogers and co. did a couple numbers. The M.C to the left in the picture was the best of the three.

6) Fat Hed drove in from Los Angeles for a very short set, but I've never been a big fan of his style.

7) Lunar Heights put on one of the better sets of the event, with lots of infectious energy.

Marc Stretch (of Foreign Legion) freestyled a bit with his rhyming partner Radio Active.

9) Mr. Lif is usually a killer live performer, but his set was ruined by time constraints and major sound difficulties. It's a shame since he was one of the special guests, and flew in from Boston to do his set.

10) J-Live came through with the best set despite sound difficulties, and impressed the crowds by rhyming and scratching simultaneously.

10) CL Smooth was the last of the big out-of-towner guests, and closed the concert on a strong note with his track "T.R.O.Y."

To end this review, here's a pic of Mr. Lif and myself, though it's not a good pic of me since I look totally out of it. >_dead stereo and some roller skates.

... a tail stinger flops through the open Office window, followed by a scaly arm and a tilted head of horns. Asmadeus lifts his head as he notices Wyvern cramming his wings through the small window space, then bites his lip and tries to speed up the rebuilding process. He reattaches the thingamabob to the whajamacallit next to the Device's blinking red light and starts to screw in the bolts, but jumps as Wyvern's familiar hiss of a voice catches his ear.

"Windowshopping, I see!" Wyvern rubs his claws together and lets out a triumphant cackle, then hops over to the box of products and shakes Asmadeus' somewhat gnomish hand. "A gnome with a fine taste in products. This application process is already off to a very good start for you!"

The illusionary gnome strikes half a smile as Wyvern snatches the Almost Dragonic Brand Device™ from his hand and lifts it to admire it in the light. Loose bolts fall from the small metal box as Wyv turns it in his claw, and the metal coating of the circuitry promptly falls from its frame. Asmadeus winces a bit as he watches the product lose piece after piece, and he stares at the ground for a long moment.

"Sorry..."

"For what? This happens with all of'em." Wyvern grins and waves the remains of the Device closer to Asmadeus' face. "These Almost Dragonic Brand De-Vices™ are perfect for removing the vices of tying shoelaces, and also work for removing wrestling vice grips involving shoelaces. The lil' red light sssenses what kind of lace it is, and sends a complicated message through the circuitry that eventually overloads it to the point of battery acid. Au'revoir, shoelacesss! I'll sign ya up for thirty to start with."

"Errrr." Asmadeus lifts a finger to speak as Wyvern rushes to the Office desk to fill out the order. "Actually, I really don't think that'll be necessary."

Wyvern lifts his head from filling out the form with a frown, halfway through forging Asmadeus' signature in the hopes of speeding up the ordering process. The overgrown lizard sighs and tosses his quill to the side, then tears apart the order form and turns towards Asmadeus' application sheet. He snatches it from the cluttered desktop and examines the details of his story for a moment, then nods and folds the paper with the flick of a claw.

"I certainly sssympathize with the whole 'invention backfiring' bit, as well as the 'disgruntled gnome populace' bit." Wyvern scratches his chin, then stoops down and snatches his quill back off the ground. He taps the tip of the quill on the "Race" section of Asmadeus' profile, then scrawls "Shapeshifter?" next to it. "You may wanna seek out Patham or Katzaniel for some interesting company... I should really try'n round up the gang of ya for cheap Almost Dragonic Brand De-Vice™ commercials. I'm sure at least one of you could change into a giant set of shoelaces."

Asmadeus stares at Wyvern with a confused expression on his gnomish cheeks, but relaxes when Wyvern pulls a stamp from the top of a candywrapper heap and tags his application ACCEPTED.

;-)

OOC: An ACCEPTED application piece, Asmadeus. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to reading more of Asmadeus' antics, as well as any other writing you may have to share. I hope that you find the Pen a friendly and welcoming community to write in. Once again, welcome!

Very good poem, Psimon. :-) The similes and metaphors that you used throughout it were excellent, and the nostalgic imagery they evoked was very striking and well-worded. I particularly liked the images that dealt with hopelessness, as the lines about the drowning man clinging to the leaf and the match unable to light any sort of fire definitely set the tone of the piece.

In terms of potential things to improve, I felt that the explanation in the second stanza didn't add much to the poem, since it's common knowledge that a leaf can't save a person from slipping under the water. Potential ways to correct this might be to either drop the first two lines of the second stanza and alter the other lines accordingly, or simply to drop the second stanza altogether. The only other nitpicking point that caught my attention was the use of "It's" in the final stanza, which made the line sound too much like a distant factual piece of information in an otherwise personal poem for my taste.

Great stuff, once again. :-) Thanks for sharing this piece, Psimon.

Very good poem, Mardrax. :-) Like Appy, I really appreciate the original structure of the poem, as the rhyme scheme and alignment of multi-syllable words are both very well done. My favorite part of the poem is the last stanza, as the arrangement of words in the first three lines really catches my attention, and the way that you alter the rhyme scheme just a bit for the powerful closing image is excellent. Unlike Appy, the close of the poem has a very negative feel to me, as the words "Drowning," "static," and "Closed" all seem to generate a negative impression.

Anyway, very well done. :-) Welcome to the Mighty Pen.

Wyvern uncoils his tail from a Cabaret chair leg and lifts himself from his seat, stepping up with a hobble as the infamous black asp tightens around his leg yet again. The overgrown lizard lets out a low hiss of a sigh as he overhears the various arguments and proposals pass back and forth, and wanders through the noisy room while glancing at the various paintings that coat the walls. He pauses for a moment as he comes across a small portrait of two skies conjoined in perfect symmetry; a gift that he'd given to Yui-chan and the Pen earlier in the year, as a memorium of sorts. The lizard clears his throat and stretches his wings at the howl of Ozymandias' familiar voice, then turns to the pennite masses once Psimon and Appy have finished speaking.

"Well." Wyvern twiddles his claws reluctantly and sniffs a bit. "I ain't much of a speech-giver outside of Almost Dragonic Brand Product Campaigns™, but there is something I haven't heard mentioned in these proposals that I think is very important: this room."

The Pen masses stare at Wyvern with a collective expression of confusion as the lizard looks up at the Cabaret ceiling and spreads his arms. He turns in a circle with his neck craned upwards, then strikes a small smile.

"These walls are so rich with history that they don't even need geld furnishing..." Wyvern turns and points a claw towards Alaeha. "Alaeha, you remember that time when you modeled in Merelas' Fashion Show? The walkway was right where you're standing now, and you and Appy showed off yer stuff in turn. Wowzas did the crowds cheer that night... I know I did."

Wyvern lets his tongue roll loose at the mere thought of the occasion, but snaps out of his daze at the sight of Alaeha and Appy crossing their arms over their chests.

"*Ahem* And Patrick." Wyvern redirects his claw and grins. "Remember rushing in late to that table over there, just in time to scrawl your name down for YanYanGanaffi's Poker Tourney? And Sweet, you came whizzing in after him on that crazy pogostick. Mynx, Katzaniel, Gryphon... you were all there. And we had ourselves a time, y'know, life-threatening black holes aside."

Wyvern nods and turns towards the Portrait of Zool, snorting smoke rings of laughter as he points a claw.

"Oh gawd. Zool, remember that time when I set you up on that Paint Ain't Quaint gameshow, with the paintings lined along the rear wall over there?" Wyvern snickers to himself. "Heck, just think of all the great gifts we've given to fellow pennites in this room. It's been a regular B-Day celebration HQ."

Wyvern smiles and spreads out his scaly arms, staring up at the ceiling again.

"And not just this room, all the rooms of the Pen. It's a Keep with a profound hissstory." Wyvern's smile slowly fades and he lets his arms droop down to a hunch. "Which is why it's a shame to see'em abandoned, collecting dust. This last Sssummer Carnival, aside from the usual auctioning that went on around these quarters, there were a total of five events that occured in the rooms of this Keep... and four of those were of my own almost dragonic devising. Don't get me wrong, there were a buncha other great exercises n' things to participate in, but I couldn't shake the feeling that these rooms felt a little deserted."

Wyvern sniffles a little, then marches up to Ozymandias and snatches the checklist from his hands in a typical rude fashion.

"I'm lookin over this sheet, and I'm not seeing much in terms of the Pen's rooms here either." Wyvern lets out a long sigh, his snout twisted in discontent. "It's certainly fun to look over the Werewolf murals on the Conservatory walls, and I'm sure D&D campaign paintings'll be equally cool to look at, but they're not events that occur in these halls. They don't involve the wonderfully eccentric characters that have gathered in this room to discuss things today (Stoomp's origin being the sole exception). They are not a piece of the Pen Keep's long history of events."

Wyvern sniffles to himself and hands the sheet back to Ozymandias, then tries to keep a solid composure as he twists his tail stinger in the Cabaret carpet.

"Now-" Wyvern pauses and takes a deep breath, then stares at the ground and sniffles, not wanting the Pen masses to see his face. "Pleassse, do continue with the feedback development, and the Werewolf and the D&D ideas. But don't forget that the Pen's many historic rooms are always available for events or activities, as an escape. Sometimes, it feels a bit lonely to me around here."

With that, Wyvern bows to the gathered pennites, then turns to leave only to trip over the seam of a rug and fall flat on his face.

*grumble*

Salinye

If Senora were not rendered unconcious in the dungeon of the shadow mage's tower, she would undoubtedly have stopped in on the party and stood in a corner (fully cloaked) in silent observation. (Yeah, she's a real party animal.) *grins*

**Hey Wyvie, sorry I saw this late, I was in afkland when this took place. It was nice of you to drop in on us.**

~Salinye

---

Fin~

DrowArchmage

Why is it i'm never invited to any of these parties? Wait i know why. Nobody like Conrad the Condor.*sighs* Oh well. Welcome to IW!

Sever

The doors of the strange new venue burst open as a fantastically over-dressed Sever slides in with a retro 70s dance move and crashes spectacularly into a pile of iron wine casks. Without missing a beat, a quick shimmy puts him on back on his feet and he grooves the length of the rotating iron dance floor.

"Why is it that i'm always late these parties?"

Larry_OHF

OOC>>>Cyril told me a bit about what was going on here when he was able to catch his breath for a moment in his real-life stresses and we are both sad to see that you just caught the RP forum during a big sleepy spell where most people are preparing for finals or doing other important things away from the www and so we're a bit slow these recent days, sad to say.

We could use some players from the Pen in some of our games around here, if anyone is interested. BTW, our webmaster has a filter system running on sign-ups because of trouble we've had in the past with people signing on for malicious reasons. I am glad to say we've been troll free for a very long time!

IC>>>

Larry had been late in coming to the party as he had been stretched between two personages, namely the Mage who was in off-forum lands battling wits against the Windbringer and Larry Silverfall who was currently blind and trembling in fear inside the tower of Shadow, trying desperately to one day soon ressurrect his lost love...

However, the Moderator known as Larry suddenly remembered...it did not matter that his two identities were tied up and unable to attend the casual festivities because as a moderator he could do what ever he wanted and nobody could tell him no or they'd be creamed into a pie and thrown into the face of their momma.

Therefore, Larry of the no-longer-existing Order of the Holy Flame stepped into the club, looking for something to get into.

This man did not dance, and did not care about the wine. He was rather interested in the band who was rocking. He walked up on-stage and shot the drummer, kicked him off the throne and took over, starting out with an amazing solo which led into the band starting up again with the music they were performing for the dancing and drinking guests.

Wyvmettic

Wyvmettic lets out a gleefull cackle as he grabs Wyvern's claw with a clang. The tin lizard creaks as he spins her through a speedy twirl. He clunks after her, then holds her close to his many layers of metal and lets her fall back in a waltz dip. Legolas and dplax shake their heads as they watch the semi-formal dance, noting its complete lack of syncopation with the rhythms of Afro Celt Sound System's "Dhol Dogs."

Wyvmettic twists in a final spin, then notices the fake gold horde tables and comes to a halt. He races towards the tables just as Wyvern poofs out of the room, and skids as he finds the metal pots on his feet thoroughly rusted. The overgrown lizard cries out as he collides into the horde tables, and flails about as he slides across them. He lets out an echoey scream as he careens towards a wall, but finds himself cushioned by the moss that seems to have gathered there.

"Great, now thisss stuff's sure to rust." Wyvern creaks his helmet head in the direction of dplax and raises a metal glove. "Glad to hear you're enjoyin the booze. Feel free to take as many iron wine flasks as you pleassse."

OOC: Thanks for your participation in this thread, and my apologies for taking a bit of time to get to the semi-conclusive post. :-) This party was hosted in honor of the Iron Works forums, as a gift from the Mighty Pen. Your site was recently added to our List of Useful Links, and we wanted to give you a little creative something to show our appreciation for your forums. :-) This will probably be my final post in this thread, but feel free to continue the party if you'd like, and don't forget the free wine!

dplax

A party! Just what he had needed! Amidst all of his busyness, Jack had not had the time to simply relax.

He grabbed some of the provided booze, which turned out to be a beer. He popped it open and downed it in two large gulps. His hand wandered towards the crate again, and withdrew another beer.

He glanced at the large flashing ball in the middle of the room. The music changed, playing one of the rare dance music tunes, which Jack liked, and he moved to the middle of the dancefloor. While dancing he carefully protected his beer, not wanting to spill a drop of the precious liquid.

Wyvern

*Fwap* (Wyv appears)

"Chick??" Did some one call me a "chick"?? I haven't been a hatchling since the mid and evil ages!!"

"AH! A DANCE floor!! Much needed that has been and perhaps a few other ammenities which I've always found most desirable."

Winking at the corner, a hot tub filled with champagne appears, Moet Chandon 1975 Brut, of course. Another wink at the ceiling reveals a exquisitely painted mural. Mossy tuffets begin to appear along with faux golden horde tables around the perimeter of the revolving metal dancefloor.

"Ah, almost like home! Hope you don't mind a few additions. I do love to dance! Have any Afro Celt Sound System? Or Deep Forest?"

-

"Alas, I must get back to work. My studio cries for me and my paints need to be put to goodly use! I will return later when I am free to enjoy some music, dancing and champagne!"

*Poofities* (and like that ...... she's gone)