Wyvern

Wyv

 

Wyvern's eyes widened as the disco chimes picked up a few notches, his focus caught somewhere between Nessa's elven form and the one-upmanship of the rabbits in his "magic" act. The overgrown lizard ceased his arrhythmic arm motions as he eyed the floating bundle of rabbits surrounding the door. He raised a claw to his snout in the midst of what should have been a shimmy-limbo.

 

"Don't ferget, yer all still under contract! We'll talk about repeating thisss act at the next show. Now hop to!"

 

The lizard frowned as his voice was lost to the volume of the music, and promptly turned his attention back to Nessa-Ciryatan. He gaped at her incredibly smooth dance moves, and let his forked tongue roll loose as she tossed her dark hair back in an entrancing flourish. The lizard raised a claw to his chin and mulled over a means of impressing her in light of the obvious difference in skill, then snapped a claw in the air as the beat switched up a bit. Wyvern crossed his arms over his chest and proceeded to break into a horrendous Russian Barynya. He began approaching Nessa with fancy footstomps and pointless "barynya" hisses, only to trip over his tail and go stumbling forward. Nessa did a long twirl to the left, dodging the lizard and pausing as he fell by her feet.

 

"*Ahem*" Wyvern's scales went a deeper shade of crimson as he slowly lifted himself from the dancefloor. He rolled his tongue back into his mouth manually, then cleared his throat of a few ashes. "Sorry 'bout that, thanksss so much for joining in the fun! I've heard ssso many good things about ya."

 

Wyvern twiddled his claws, flexed his wings, stared up at the ceiling, then finally extended a claw to Nessa. He cocked his other claw back to the dancefloor.

 

"... may I?"

 

^_-

Nessa-Ciryatan

 

Entranced by the goings on of the strange scaly wyvern and the aimlessly hopping rabbits, Nessa was startled as she felt something thump into her leg.

 

Looking down, she saw it was a rabbit with an invitation attached to its back. She leaned down and detached the invitation, and then spun the rabbit around on the smooth floor so it faced another direction and let it hop away again in hindered. The name on the invitation was hers. She cracked the seal and read.

 

Hmm, she thought. Free food, drinks, and dancing. Who could say no to that?

 

Long-legged, dark-haired, and pointy-eared, the elvish woman strode into the room decidedly, pausing only once to call out very unelvishly, “Come on, everyone! It’s a par-tay!”

 

The Wyvern was already hopping about dancing, obviously having such a good time that Nessa left off welcoming him to the grand Halls of Arcane Artistry more officially. She didn’t want to spoil his fun.

 

With a grin for the funny wyvern and a longing look at the snacks table – she’d never heard of ‘curly onion cheesedoodles’ – Nessa started dancing. For all her elvish grace, the dance turned out to be a strange one as she dodged the rabbits underfoot. She'd thought the Wyvern had been dancing oddly because of his lizard-like physique, but now she knew.

 

“I can fix that,” she muttered, and waved her hands in a complicated pattern. Bright, sparkling blue magic swept from her hands to circumnavigate the room and touch each and every rabbit that had come from Wyvern’s hat. Satisfied, Nessa went back to partying.

 

In the meantime the air around the rabbits sparkled blue mist, and each of them suddenly got to their hind legs. Black eyes gleamed intelligently as they began wiggling their noses at the air around them.

 

“I say,” said one, sounding very surprised.

 

“Indeed,” said another, sounding equally surprised.

 

“Something in the air tonight, boys,” said another, cleaning his whiskers with his paws. “Now, we can’t stand idly around all night, we’ve got invitations to deliver. Hop to it!”

 

With smart salutes, the rabbits retrieved the invitations from around their backs until they could hold them at a more dignified level in front of them, as if they bore serving platters.

 

“See that gaggle at the door, lads?” the third rabbit asked, pointing one furry paw.

 

“Yes, yes, we do, old son,” the other rabbits replied excitedly. The dance music was starting to affect their legs in strange, interesting ways.

 

“That’s your target, boys. Remember, be cute and cuddly, and don’t take no for an answer. Now charge!”

 

There was a flurry of furry movement and shouts of surprise from the door as the rabbits went to work.

Next in the archived line-up of parties honoring other sites is a party hosted in honor of Arcane Artistry, which was entitled "The Arcane Art of Disco Fever" and took place in the beautiful Foyer of the Arcane Aristry HQ. Despite the lack of any other pennite participants, this went down as perhaps the funnest off-site party thus far, as the folks at Arcane Artistry are very friendly and fun, and really know how to get their groove on on the dancefloor! I'd highly recommend checking them out and getting to know them if you ever have a chance. Anyway, their site is going to be changing formats soon, so I thought it would be good to archive this prior to the switch so that there's no chance of losing track of it. Enjoy.

 

Wyv

 

The Great Arcane Artistry Keep bustled with life in the cool September night. Whispers of "NaNoWriMo" filled the halls with excitement and wonder, and merry laughter echoed from the Role-Playing Halls and CYOA Quarters. From the foyer of the building, the view of the mystical valley was magnificent and stretched as far as the eye could see... that is, until a tiny wisp of smoke began to obscure the sight a bit. The wisp slithered in serpent-like motions towards the ceiling, and was quickly accompanied by more trails of smoke, each of them emerging from the general vicinity of the foyer entrance. Arcane Artistry's stargazing crowds snapped from their reveries as the wisps turned to billows and the foyer became immersed in gray smoke. Those who had been relaxing squinted through the thick clouds and stood from their seats, lifting their hands to their brows as they tried to make out the source of the smoke. The billows gradually died down, and the gray haze that filled the room receded to reveal (*building musical chime tension*)... nobody, standing at the door.

 

The Arcane Artistry residents present turned to one another and muttered amongst themselves in confusion, scratching their heads and wondering if it might have been some broken chimney or minor kitchen mishap that had caused the smoke. They shrugged to themselves and began to return to their seats, only to pause and stare as a scaly red figure dressed in plaid sorcerer robes fell from the ceiling. The almost dragonic figure made an unelegent crash-landing on the rug next to the door and went still for a moment, then slowly twitched and began to raise himself to his feet.

 

"Yeesh, can never get the timing on that thing right." Wyvern brushed a claw over the crimson scales on his head and adjusted the cheapo wizard caps that rested on each of his horns. "*Ahem* Greetingssss, Arcane Artistry! The name's Wyvern, and I come in peace!"

 

Wyvern stepped forward and almost tripped over his cloak, then extended his arms and bowed to the gathered crowds. The overgrown lizard dug a claw into his cloak and pulled out a bright red blanket. He stuck his snout up in pride and rubbed a claw on his chest, then tossed the wide blanket over part of the floor.

 

"In honor of your excellent Keep, I offer you... free booze and munchies!"

 

Wyvern grabbed the blanket with a confident grin and tossed it off of the spot on the floor, only to reveal... the floor again.

 

"Erk." Wyvern let out a nervous laugh and rubbed his head for a moment. He breathed an apology to those present, then quickly ran to the room next door. The lizard returned several minutes later, shoving a table filled with bottles of Bruteweiser brew and curly onion cheesdoodles into the foyer. "*Ahem* All are invited to help themselves. It's a party, y'all!"

 

Wyvern snapped a claw, and the chimes of music in the background began chiming disco dance beats. He did a twirl, then removed one of the wizard caps from his horns and layed it on the ground. Several white rabbits began hopping out of the cap to the sounds of the Disco beat, each of them carrying an addressed invitation on their back. The names Nessa-Ciryatan, Achityn, Rosemerry, and CL da Writer were written on the envelopes amongst many others. Wyvern let out a triumphant laugh and clapped his claws together at the rabbit-out-a-cap trick working for a change. He frowned, however, as the rabbits began hopping around the floor in every direction, aimlessly looking for carrots.

 

"Uhmmm." Wyvern raised a claw and spoke loudly over the sound of the Disco beat, already half-dancing. "If folks could just spread the word that there'sss free booze, eats and dancing, that'd be great. Come on in and enjoy yourselves, you all deserve it!"

Wyvern listens to Big Pointy One's song of choice with a smirk, then sets down a sack labeled "50% ON" and begins digging through it in search of an Almost Dragonic Brand Yard Sail w/ Extra Thick Weeds™. The overgrown lizard pulls out what appears to be a large garden rake with a crooked curve of weeds tangled across it, and turns towards Big Pointy One with a wicked grin. Wyv pauses and frowns, however, when he notices the glassy look in BPO's eyes as the lyrics ring through the Cabaret with a mysterious echo. The reptilian Elder inches forward at the thought of a done deal, but sighs and drops his lengthy sales pitch parchment when he sees the rather forlorn expression on Stick's face. The lizard scratches his head, then clears his throat and hisses:

 

"Thanksss for sharing Stick, it's nice to see ya around. If you and toilet duck ever start in with the drunken gibberish, be sure to give me a heads up so I can record it for my Almost Dragonic Brand Orc Speak for Beginners Tape™..."

 

 

OOC: Nice to hear from you BPO, I hope you've been doing well. :-) In the hopes of helping you achieve the full sharing of the song, I did a search on youtube and came up with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDEEOALZVzE. The ice skating stuff is irrelevent, I know, but it was between that or a video of Mulder and Skully from "X-Files" with the song playing in the background... and trust me, you didn't want that one. ;-p

Very good poem(s), Pheonix. :-) I love the closing stanza of the first poem, as the segment about every next moment being a trial until the "last syllable of recorded time" was beautifully worded and struck me as a very original and evocative way to think about time. The repetition of "tommorow" also worked very well in this stanza, and I like the frame of insomnia that surrounds the revelation.

 

One thing that felt a bit awkward to me in this piece was the uses of archaic vocabularly in describing modern objects. The reference to the bed as a "cavern," the "Demon-dreams," the "witching air," and the "Phantoms" all felt a little odd to me, perhaps because the last stanza presents such a modern and original image of moments of time.

 

Is the second post in this thread a new poem, a continuation of the poem in the first post, or a complete revision of the first poem? The Shakespeare influence is definitely present in the stanza of the second post... the phrasing of the fourth line makes it feel as though it's straight out of a different era.

 

Very nice stuff, Pheonix. :-) Thanks for sharing these here!

Very good poem, Isa. :-) The lines had a real rhythmic momentum to them that drove across the conflicting emotions of the piece. I thought that the first four stanzas of the poem did this particularly well, and also liked how the last two stanzas seemed to unwind into shorter lines as they wrapped the piece to a close. I really liked the way that conflicting emotions were placed side by side, often in the same rhythmic line, as it really showed the struggle that the narrator faces. Two of my personal favorite parts of this poem were the way that the third stanza is followed by the more succinctly negative fourth, and the parallel of dividing and uniting in the last stanza.

 

In terms of possible ways to improve this piece, the fifth and sixth stanzas struck me as the weaker links of the poem. They didn't feel as strong rhythmically, and at times the phrasing felt a bit forced to me (the use of "moan-time," in particular, didn't feel like it belonged with the vocabulary of the rest of the piece). I think the reason these stanzas didn't strike me like the others is because of their uses of repetition... The repetition in the first few stanza's is very well done, but I somehow didn't feel that the sixth stanza's uses of repetition ("I'm weary I'm weary," "to love you/I love you," "despite all the strain and the pain/despite all the strain and the pain I love you," "No pain is no pain") added as much to the piece.

 

Anyway, this is a wonderfully structured and well-arranged poem Isa. I enjoyed reading it, thank you for sharing it.

"Awwww Mynxy, don't look at me like that, pleeeaaassse?" Wyvern treaded backwards, facing Mynx, his claws outspread in an almost dragonic plea. "Won'tcha forgive me? I realize the whole dragging-you-across-the-floor thing probably seems excessive-"

 

Mynx glared at Wyvern with enough feline anger to intimidate an armed veteranarian.

 

"Wyv, do you have any idea of how sensitive this tail is?"

 

"I can only imagine." Wyvern winced at the thought of how cute and innocent kittens always yowled out when their tails were pulled, and tried to apply the thought to Mynx's appendage. "And I'm sssorry. Would ya believe me if I said I had your best interesssts in mind? I certainly didn't want ya hanging around Degorram or Kikuyu, they seem a lil' too happy-go-lucky-powerful for comfort. A couple bumps on the noggin is probably better than another Blue Blazes of Oasis Flame Whirlwind®, right?"

 

Mynx stared at the ground glumly and mumbled to herself. Wyvern turned himself to get out of her way, then moved up closer to her. He raised a claw to one of her perking ears.

 

"Between you and me, I doubt Orlan's clothesss need any defending... he probably hasn't worn a thing in years, given his schedule. It'sss more a matter of distracting those two, if ya get my drift." Wyvern nudged Mynx with a shoulder, then handed her a small jar. "Ssspeaking of which, here are some 'No-Doze' pills, in case Degorram ever tries to invade ya via dream altering. We're gonna have to find a way to contain those two... but with the stealth sprites and all, there're too many things to handle at once. Finding Cerulean and taking out the stealth sprites remains a priority. Until then, we can live with two potential fire hazards."

 

Wyvern and Mynx paused as they reached the door to Cerulean's quarters. Wyvern grinned a bit at the sight of the elegent blue gylph engraved on the door, but the smile quickly faded as he knocked on it to no response. The overgrown lizard carefully turned the handle of the door, finding it unlocked. He went still as he gazed over the countless spandex uniforms that coated the room's interior, promptly raising his claws to his snout.

 

"Are we too late...?"

 

Mynx closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to sense a presence from within the room. She perked her head up and turned, however, when the only presence felt was one behind her...

On Wednesday evening, I went to see the Freezerburner Release Party featuring Qwel, Mestizo, Qwazaar, Secluded Journalists, Deejay Om, and Influence at the Elbo Room in San Francisco.

 

This marks my fifth time seeing the Galapagos4 collective on stage. Unfortunately, this didn't register as one of their better shows. When I last saw them in September they didn't put on a very good show either, and I'm beginning to fear that they're going to be forever performing under the shadow of the fantastic Typical Cats show they put on last June.

 

That's not to say that this show wasn't without its highlights. After Influence and DJ Om warmed up the crowd a bit, the Secluded Journalists came out to put on one of the better sets of the evening. The group is comprised of two M.Cs: Ayentee (one of the more downright honest personalities in the rap game) and Wonway. This was my first time seeing them live (they're not affiliated to G4). It was pretty funny to watch, since Wonway works at Amoeba Records in Berkeley and I've chatted with him numerous times over there while browsing. Their set felt a lot more lively and party-oriented than the evening's other sets, and I was surprised at how many women in the audience were going nuts over Ayentee's lyrics (think "screaming fanbase" for an idea of how it was). Out of the other performers, Mestizo definitely put on one of his quality sets, demonstrating a lot of charisma on the mic and treating the crowd to some

that sounded very good. My only complaint about his set is that he didn't perform "Pick Up 52s"... he needs to start doing that track more in concert, it's a killer live!

 

As for disappointments of the evening: Qwazaar's solo set was seriously lacking in passion, and ended up boring me. Qwa is an excellent M.C on record, with a really distinctive voice and flow, but he's going to need to work on his live set if he hopes to win over any new fans through his performances. Qwel, on the other hand, demonstrated the most impressive verbal acrobatics of anyone in the lineup (note: this man can spit a

), but he still didn't have a great set due to sound difficulties, skipping beats, and a time limit that cut his set short due to the show starting over an hour late.

 

A decent show overall, nothing mindblowing... the cover was only 6 dollars and came with a free bonus CD of unreleased Galapagos4 material, so that was a plus.

Wyvern wanders into the Cabaret Room in an unfashionably late manner, hopping past Peredhil and maneuvering his way around Tanuchan in the hopes of avoiding Scarlett's (baited) line of sight. The overgrown lizard brushes past Cerulean with a playful tail nudge and promptly turns to Finnius, striking a razor-toothed grin in his direction. He grabs the blue man's hand and shakes it vigorously.

 

"Long time no sssee Fin', hope ya had a great one!" Wyvern rummages through his pouch and pulls out a small card, which he waves in Finnius's direction. "Should I file thisss with the other poems, or you wanna read it now? It'sss just a lil' something I riffed for the Godfather of haikus himself..."

 

Finnius snatches the card out of Wyvern's claw and squints at the jagged letters scrawled across it, barely making out the lines through his superior haiku-reading skills.

 

---

 

Reaching Fifty Cent?

Youth haikus to sing, just cling

blue chains for bling bling.

 

---

 

"Ya really shouldn't worry... if you're only halfway to 50 Cent, that means you only have around 137 more bullet woundsss to worry about out." Wyvern snorts and pats Finnius on the back. "Just don't go TOO commercial on us, alright? Last thing I wanna see is a Finnius poetry book where all the lines start with 'All Platinum Rims'..."

 

;-)

 

OOC: Happy Belated, Finnius. :-) Hope you had a great one.

Interesting poem, Mardrax. :-) The way that the lamenting caused the narrator to cease his offensive actions altogether was well done, and I like how you framed the poem in parentheses. I have a bit of trouble envisioning a ecstatic cloud of doubt (or an ecstatic cloud of any sort, for that matter), though I'm guessing those two lines are intended to be read seperately. Still tricky to envision the two side by side, but the contrast could be part of the confusion that the narrator's experiencing over his actions. I didn't quite understand the title of this piece, though it grabbed my attention... is it random, or is it meant to be a parenthesis cut off by a period or a drawing of some sort? Interesting, either way.

Meanwhile, beneath the surface...

 

King Kowboy gets his own taste of XCrawl's H2O as a trail of water dribbles down a ceiling pipeline and begins pattering on his "Jumbo Kowboy Victory Hat." The head-Kobold-in-charge ignores the dampness and continues to focus his eyes on the pipe that Krazy Kowboy's rope descends from, its purty moss and sewage paving the road to the awful light of the upper-realms. Those XCrawlers were up there, with their popcorns and their Super Nintendos and their vigilante rock and roll music... he'd show'em all! It was gonna be a Klassik Kobold Western, where the hero shows his worth as a true kobold, knocks off all the badies, and still gets the dead mouse in the end.

 

"Alright, now listen ya varmits." King Kowboy turns to his squadron of top-of-the-league Kobolds, who stand in a crooked line behind him. He adjusts the rope tied around his waste, and pulls on the line a bit just to make sure the other kobolds are connected as well. "You Kowboys have been chosen for this here special mission for your underdenialable abilties. The whole nineteen of ya!"

 

King Kowboy strikes his best Clint Eastwood grin as he nods to each of kobolds in turn.

 

"Krusher Kowboy - I hear you can krush two cockroaches at a time with those mighty webbed fingers of yours, and I reckon a cockroach down here is at least twice the size of a halfling up there. Karate Kowboy - master of the olden art of rope-jitsu, certified rusty belt. Kocky Kowboy - 100% attitude, 15% skill... which makes you some crazy number even higher than a hundred. Kitchen Kowboy - all those years stirring the sewer stew with your trusty spork have finally paid off. Kalamity Kowboy - anybody who's hung around you has been hanging from a rope trap you accidentally set off. Killa Kowboy - presenting an 'Xtra-Country' image to give the Kowboys that hip hop appeal to the youth. Kamikaze Kowboy - swims with the fishes, cooks with the fishes, causes indigestion with the fishes. Karma Kowboy - you already got enough sleaze on you to last yourself a second lifetime, so keep up the good work. Kinky Kowboy - because us gang of heroes are gonna need something to do after we take over XCrawl. Kutter Kowboy - notorious for always kutting Kowpoke Klass. Kasanova Kowboy - slimy enough to charm even the ugliest of elven princesses. Kollision Kowboy - known for more ramming than the toilet plunger upstairs. Klowner Kowboy - our leading specialist in bad hobbit jokes. Kruel Kowboy - resident rope torture guy, and parttime assistant to Kinky Kowboy. Kazoo Kowboy - your tootings of 'Home on the Garbage Range' are a constant inspiration in combat. Komputer Kowboy - expert hacker, which includes hacking up useful items and giving the enemy colds. Kleptomaniac Kowboy - we've got a show to steal. Kid Kowboy - brave lil' lad learning the ropes. Klueless Kowboy - cus' we needed one more recruit, and you didn't know any better."

 

King Kowboy tips his Jumbo Kowboy Victory Hat to the team, then stares back up at the pipeline.

 

"From here on out, the lot us are gonna be known as the ultra-special team 'deadicated twenty' (a.k.a d20)." King Kowboy grins and rubs his sheriff star. "And now, we play the waiting game..."

I recently watched "Ali G in da House" and "Napolean Dynamite," on TV and DVD respectively.

 

"Ali G in da House" is a film based on Ali G, another comedy character of Sacha Baron Cohen. The movie's very different from "Da Ali G Show" and "Borat" in the sense that it's all scripted and played by actors, which is a sharp contrast to Cohen's usual form of improvisational roleplaying. While the film isn't as funny as some of the original shows or as the "Borat" movie, it still definitely has its moments. The opening shoot-out scene and the scene where Ali G is forced to resign from parliament were both highlights to me. Overall, the movie's not essential, but brutally funny in brief spurts.

 

"Napolean Dynamite" is the recent nerd flick that's been getting a lot of publicity, including a succinct negative review in this thread from the Pen's own Doctor Evil. I found the flick decent. It was kind of fun and pretty well put together for what it was, but I didn't really find it laugh-out-loud funny. Napolean was an interesting character, but didn't feel like someone I could fully root for due to his pissy attitude. One thing that came as a pleasant surprise to me in this film was the way that it treated internet chatrooms and online dating. At the beginning of the film, it seems as though chatrooms are going to be treated as a foolish way to interact with people... but as the film progresses, it ends up really working out for Napolean's dad and his online girlfriend. A pretty refreshing approach to internet chatrooms in film, since most movies seem to end up portraying them as artificial. Decent film, overall.

Wyvern slams the Cabaret door open on a pair of ninjas trying to set up a trap with a bucket of water, breaking their necks with a series of *snap*ping sounds. He treds over their empty spandex garmets and hastily makes his way to the center of the room, dragging a wobbly veiled cart behind him. The lizard sets the cart in the middle of the room, adjacent to his abandoned Almost Dragonic Brand Broken Bottle Beerkeg Ornament™ cart, and turns towards Sweetcherrie to flash her a grin full of razor sharp teeth.

 

"Happy Birthday, Sweetcherrie!" Wyvern grabs the edge of the sheet on the cart and pulls it off, accidentally smacking a ninja in the process with a *snap.* On the tray that tops the cart rests a jagged and oddly-shaped package, wrapped in black spandex and topped with a shuriken bow. Wyvern grins and inches the cart a bit closer to Sweetcherrie, winking to Gyrfalcon and Appy. "Go on, open it."

 

Sweetcherrie raises a brow and carefully undoes the stretchy spandex packaging. She stares for a moment at what appears to be an amalgam of several metal gadgets, including an egg beater and what may have once been a swiss army knife. She turns to Wyvern and forces an appreciative smile.

 

"What uhhh... what is it?"

 

"An Almost Dragonic Brand Ballisticardiograph™, perfect for measssuring your cardiac contractions while you get a work out firing it at these recent ninja pests." Wyvern nods twice, then waves a claw towards the other cart in the room. "Feel free to take an Almost Dragonic Brand Broken Bottle Beerkeg Ornament™ of your choice as well. They're 99.999999% off at the moment anyhoo..."

 

;-)

 

OOC: Have a great once, Sweetcherrie.

Wyvern twitched his wings and tail with a crack of lesser bones, embedded upsidedown in one of the Pen's outdoor walls through the force of Degorram's Blue Blazes of Oasis Flame Whirlwind®. The overgrown lizard raised a shaky half-conscious hand to rub his aching horns, only to suddenly slip off of the wall and fall face first onto the Pen terrace, his snout landing inches away from Mynx's tangled tail. Wyvern painfully flipped himself over and began slowly searching for something to grab onto to pull himself up. Enticing misinterpretations of Kikuyu's "Scarlett wants Cerulean" statement continued dancing through the reptilian Elder's head.

 

"Wuzza?" Wyvern nudged himself up to a sitting position, only to freeze and have his eyes go crooked as he found both Degorram and Kikuyu glaring at him.

 

"This tanktop and skirted coat don't even belong to the same clothing category as spandex! Explain yourself, lizard!"

 

"Degorram..." Wyvern croaked, feebly lifting his Almost Dragonic Brand Almost-a-Dragonfly Swatter™. "Careful... a ninja, beside you..."

 

"A ninja?!" Kikuyu gritted her teeth and stomped her foot down on Wyvern's face. "How dare you mistake my attire for mere spandex! And after being nowhere to be found. I oughta..."

 

"Waaaaiiiit." Wyvern squealed and raised his claws as the two girls pointed their razor-sharp shurikens in his direction. He quickly scrambled to his feet and stretched his joints into relative shape. "Now listen, I'm sssorry for my mistakes, but we have no time for petty things like the fabric of shirts and my lengthy criminal tracking record. There are urgent matters to attend to, and we've gotta work together."

 

Wyvern scratched his chin with one claw, twirling his tail with the other.

 

"Our first two priorities are finding Cerulean and defending Orlan's ultra-expensive Armani shirts. I'll go with Mynx to see if we can't draw Cerulean from her quarters... I think she'sss been missing the feline touch as of late, so a visit from Mynx might be just the thing. Plus, if Scarlett really wants Cerulean as badly as I imagine she wants her, it really would be better that I go." Wyvern cleared his throat for a minute and wiped a small dribble of blood from his snout. "That leaves you two in charge of defending Orlan's sexy sexy wardrobe. We'll find a way to dispatch of the stealth sprites behind this mess, but until then, we need a pair of fashion medics such as yourselves to make sure that no ninjas doodle ANY Americanized haikus over Orlan's stylish shirt selection. His quarters should be easy to find, we'll meet up at Mynx's window remains in an hour or so. Move out!"

 

With that, Wyvern grabbed Mynx by the tail and began dragging her unconscious body in the direction of Cerulean's chambers, not sparing a second to glance at the shadows of ninjas flitting between the trees...

"Ssstop the pressesss!" Wyvern sprints into the Cabaret Room waving a tattered shred of paper in one of his claws. The lizard's beady eyes home in on Salinye, and he scurries up to the high elf reporter and proceeds to stretch an arm around her shoulder, buddy-buddy style. "Now listen Sal, what you really need is some inside reporting with some juicy tabloid headlines... something that'll grip the dwarves and elves and fairies and Overlord Wyrmthalaks by the seats of their pants. And lemme tell you, I got just the thing.”

 

Wyvern unfolds his crumpled scrap of paper, revealing a messy prospectus for an article bearing the title “Shylara vs. Rhoelyn: nightelf bikini-mail mudwrestling goes down at Booty Bay.”

 

“Just write the piece, be sure to mention lots of detailed descriptions of hunter nets and feather mementos, and I guarantee you every ogre in Stranglethorn will be flocking for yer newsrag.” Wyvern nudges Salinye with a scaly elbow and winks, then raises a claw to ear and whispers. "Who knows, you might even get an endorsement from the Scarlet Monastery. I hear that Houndmaster Loksey is into that sorta ssstuff."

 

With that, Wyvern stifles a snicker and tucks the prospectus into one of Salinye's pockets. He strikes a quick bow before darting out of the Cabaret quarters, not wanting to risk being present for any appearences of angry nightelf brothers...

 

;-)

This story seems pretty funny to me so far, mai. :-) Mai must have been drinking expressos while watching all-nighter anime marathons when she was writing this for Megumi, as the story really feels more like a series of over-the-top anime sequences spliced together than it does any sort of narrative. The complete outlandishness and absurdity of it all does result in some funny scenes, which I really liked. The referencing of the Monster Manual when attacking the Malbro was dang funny, and the thought of Cerubus needing a physical was hilarious. Megumi is probably the character that's stood out the most to me so far with her seemingly charming looks and doctor's personality, though characterization is obviously not an important element of this piece. I like the comedy revolving around desire, with the doctor scene involving Megumi and Ryu standing out to me in particular. The "drop your pants" confusion was very funny!

 

Two suggestions for the continuation. First, I would suggest using fewer dream sequences and fewer blackout/wake up transitions, as there were points where these were hard to follow and left me feeling confused. The story doesn't have to be logical, cohesive, or linear, but you still want to make sure that the reader has some sense of your train of thought. :-) Second, I would recommend using more paragraph spacing and indentation, as it can get a little tricky to read when all of the words seem to be crammed into one block of text.

 

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how many chapters of this style of humor are written. Out of curiousity, will we be seeing Megumi's reaction to Mai's story at some point? :-)

"Damndamndamn, I knew that 'Pirate vs. Ninja' thing was gonna be trouble one way or another." Wyvern shook his cracked portable crystal ball as he dashed through the Pen's Piazza of Portraits, ignoring the site of ninjas hanging from ceiling fixtures and cursing at his broken communication device. The Almost Dragonic Brand Life-Sized Cardboard Cuddling Wyvern for Women™ that he'd set up in the Library had obviously flopped as hard on the ninjas as it had on its original intended audience. The spandex bandits were everywhere. "Gonna need more security measures for the next 'Talk like a Pirate Day...' Hey! Get away from those!"

 

Wyvern pulled out an Almost Dragonic Brand Almost-a-Dragonfly Swatter™ and waved it at a group of ninjas doodling moustaches on some very fine Pen portraits. The ninjas promptly dispersed from the area in a series of impressive backflips, leaving Wyvern with an out-of-joint snout. The overgrown lizard wandered up to the Portraits the ninjas had doodled upon and wiped the moustaches off of Black and Horace's pictures... only to pause at lumpenproletariat's picture, noting how the facial hair made him look kind of similar to Stalin. The lizard pondered whether he should keep it there or not and contemplated contacting a serious art critic for further evaluation, only to remember that he had an urgent message to spread.

 

"Yeeeeesh, they ARE good at distracting..."

 

Wyvern rammed past two ninjas and dashed through an arched doorway, racing down a hall until he passed by a door with light seeping through its cracks. The reptilian Elder barged through the door and into Mynx's sleeping quarters with all the ettiquette of a drunken barbarian, freezing as he noticed the spandex she held in her paws.

 

"Mynx, we need to-" Wyvern's tongue became tied as he stared across the room and through the pane of Mynx's window, his eyes widening at the site of a figure dressed in black. A ninja, staring into the room from one of Wyvern's usual spying spots. "Mynx, lookout!"

 

Wyvern held his Almost Dragonic Brand Almost-a-Dragonfly Swatter™ up high and let out a pipsqueak warcry, charging at the site of the ninja and not recognizing the figure as Degorram in his panicking state...

 

;-)

Last night, I went and saw the Hell Tour Skeletour featuring the Shapeshifters, Onry Ozzborn as the Gigantics, and Clockwerk at the Elbo Room in San Francisco.

 

The show started off a little iffy, with one of the most disrespectful and unresponsive crowds I've seen in a while. It never ceases to amaze me... why do these people drive out and pay 10 dollars for a show? Anyway, the opening act Clockwerk was pretty average, so I guess some of the indifference might have been merited. Still, it was just spooky how quiet the crowd was after each number. I was the only person dancing in the front row, and the only person in the front row period at this point. Anyway, Clockwerk is a group composed of M.Cs Gold and iAMe from the Seattle Sand People crew, who are affiliated to the Northwest's Oldominion collective. They had a fairly interesting selection of dirty beats backing them, but both of the M.Cs seemed generic and didn't really hold my attention. There were one or two above average tracks, though, and I felt bad for them with the silence of everyone else in the venue.

 

Once Clockwerk wrapped things up, Onry Ozzborn came out to play some tracks from his upcoming Gigantics project. I was a little surprised since the act had been listed as "Grayskul" and the other rapper of the group, JFK, was nowhere to be seen. In previous Grayskul shows I've been to, JFK has been the superior performer, so I was a little afraid that Onry's solo set would be boring. Fortunately, as soon as Onry began performing his new material, my fears vanished. Onry's new stuff as the Gigantics seems more catchy and style-based than any of his previous work, and works very well in a live setting. His new material is also chock-full of guest spots from high-profile underground M.Cs, which resulted in one hell of a surprise in his set... Aesop Rock, one of the most prolific and highly respected M.Cs in the underground, stepped out as a surprise guest and performed a verse! This is a guy whose celebrity status makes it hard to even catch him in NYC where he lives, let alone in San Francisco unexpectedly! Aesop's presence got quite a few people to get up and cheer, though bizarrely it was still only about half the crowd and the other folks went stoic again after his verse. It's strange to me, because in my opinion Onry Ozzborn outshined Aesop Rock's brief verse with a couple of excellent standout tracks. It was great to hear such awesome new material from him... My only complaint about the set is that there were points where he played the recorded verses of guest M.Cs that weren't there, though I suppose it would have been difficult to get a sense of the tracks without listening to them. Great set... the silent crowd didn't give Onry nearly enough respect.

 

The entire crowd gathered around the stage before the Shapeshifters came out to perform, which leads me to believe that most of the people there were diehard Shapeshifter fans who weren't interested in much other hip hop. Anyway, the Shapeshifters are an L.A-based group of really unique and stylistic rappers, and they put on the best set of the evening hands down. Crazy performances from all of them. They set the scene beforehand by decorating the turntables with Christmas lights, and then Killa Santa stepped out and began waving his hands in the air. Things started getting psycho from there. To go through each of the Shapeshifter M.Cs in turn: Circus (wearing the crown) is the ringleader of the group, and came out in his pajama pants and a "What Would Yoda Do?" T-shirt. This guy is a crazed alien conspiracy theorist from another planet, and somewhat of an L.A-underground legend who's never gotten his dues. His style is completely bizarre, slow and twisted, like what a mentally deranged person might shout through the walls of an insane asylum. He didn't stand out to me amongst his fellow shifters at first, but as the set went on, I began to realize that he was improvising most of his material and making up really funny stuff by playing off of other people's lines. He also performed an hilarious track as his alter ego Kid Zelda, which involved rhyming about Jesus loving everything over the original 6-bit Super Mario Bros. theme. Moving on... Awol One is one of the best known Shapeshifters, and stands out for his unique voice and cadence, which essentially sound like a lazy fratboy stoner who's almost too hazed to spit his lines. His voice definitely grabbed the crowd with every word he rapped/spoke/drawled, and he later turned into an alternate interpretation of Santa Clawz. Life Rexall is the most traditional M.C out of the Shapeshifter crew, but he really surprised me by how passionate a live performer he is. He really got into his verses and energized the crowd, spitting his tracks with relentless ferocity. Which brings me to the two most talented M.Cs of the gang... Existereo is an absolute stylistic monster, able to flip his approach from singing to speed rapping in the blink of an eye. His rhyme schemes are often mindboggling, and his approach to every one of his verses was original. The only motor-mouthed Shapeshifter capable of rivaling his steeze is Radioinactive, who also broke into some unbelievable styles and could probably win in a contest for "most syllables spit in 60 seconds." Radioinactive even got his clarinet on later in the set. As if all this talent weren't enough, another prolific surprise guest came on stage and began rhyming with the Shapeshifters... Prince Po, of the legendary and highly influential rap group Organized Konfusion! Needless to say, I was super-excited throughout this (as was the rest of the crowd, this time around). The only downer is that Die Young, another talented member of the Shapeshifters, was AFK. That and some girl spilled beer all over my backpack. But who am I to complain, this show was amazing.

 

A couple of bonuses to top this review off... First, here's a picture of Aesop Rock and myself. Circus was on my left and I wanted to get him in the picture as well, but unfortunately whoever took it must have not been too skilled with cameras. :-p Next, here's a little footage of the Shapeshifters performing one of their tracks, "Run the Crowd" (note: may contain some language):

 

 

AND, last but not least, I decided I had to one-up my previous reviews here somehow... so I spoke with Existereo after the show, and asked if he could give the Mighty Pen a quick shout out. :-D Here's the result:

 

 

Yeeaaahhhh boooyyyeeeee, Pen's up in da houuussse! ;-)

"Oh come on Gorgmorsh, I thought we had a deal!" Wyvern curses through his teeth as he walks down a long cooridor towards the Pen's Library. He shakes a portable crystal ball in his claw, grimacing at its piss poor mana reception. Gorgmorsh's warthog face wasn't much to look at to begin with, and the blurry image through the crystal wasn't helping any. "Look, listen. Any orc priest with half the half a brain you have would know I'm giving you a bargain. I'm telling you, Almost Dragonic Brand Broken Bottle Beerkeg Ornaments™ are the next step in weapons of mass destruction. I mean these things are pointy!"

 

Wyvern flashes one of his full-toothed grins, only to go sour as he finds a receptionless cloud of smoke where Gorgmorsh's face had once been. Wyvern wraps both claws around the tiny ball in frustration, then crams it into one of his pockets with a repressed almost roar. The lizard picks up his pace a bit and storms down the hall, shaking his head and gritting his teeth in frustration.

 

"That'sss what I get for pawning it off one o' those escape artist magiciansss." Wyvern rolls his eyes and clenches his claws as he walks. He steps over a bulge on the floor with a *snap.* "And he had a perfectly good rubber turkey that I could have gotten to bend Zool's Rubber Chicken to my will, but nooooo, I had to take the crysta-"

 

Wyvern pauses as he notices something laying behind him in the hallway. The lizard turns to view the spot he had just stepped over, and stares at it for a long moment. He blinks at the body of a lifesize crouching ninja, fully-suited in black spandex, slumped over the area where he'd been walking. The lizard steps forward to examine the ninja closer, only to notice that his neck has been snapped under what appears to be an almost dragonic footprint. Wyvern bites his lip and glances in both directions, wondering if he's responsible for cleaning it up. He nudges the ninja with a foot to make sure it's not just a "minor" snapped neckbone, only to watch in disbelief as the ninja's suite suddenly seems to deflate until nothing but the costume itself remains. The lizard scratches his scaly head, then shrugs and plucks the spandex suite up with his tail stinger as he continues walking.

 

"Hmph..." Wyvern walks down the hall and turns the corner to the double-doors leading to the Library. "I wonder what that was doing the-AAA!"

 

Wyvern's jaw drops as he stares at the four ninjas present in the Library, each of them wearing the exact same tacky black spandex suite. All four of the ninjas were occupied with the Library's book racks, reordering the books so that they were no longer alphabetized.

 

"Hey!"

 

Wyvern raises a claw, only to watch the ninjas burst into an escape and dash off in different directions. One ninja jumps in a somersault towards the window, not realizing that it's shut and breaking his neck with a *snap* upon impact. Two of the other ninjas perform impressive cartwheels across the room, moving in two semi-circles that eventually end with the two of them crashing into each other, their neck bones breaking with a *snap snap.* The fourth ninja scales one of the bookshelves and climbs into an airduct, disappearing from sight.

 

"Hunh." Wyvern raises a claw to his chin, watching the three broken ninjas deflate as he wanders into the Library. "Must just be a coincidence..."

 

Wyvern nods to himself, only to freeze up as he notices two unfamiliar shadows moving along the wall. The lizard promptly panicks and rushes over to a Library table holding a large tome entitled "Everything You Wanted to Know About Pests But Were Afraid to Ask." The lizard frantically flips through the book until he finds an entry for "ninja" somewhere between "aphid" and "silverfish." The lizard quickly skims over the page, trying to keep his cool.

 

Ninja infestations are often the result of stealth sprites... countless apparitions caused by a wiley group of tiny tricksters... harmless and half-real, the ninjas are not violent and cannot attack or defend themselves, but are better at annoying people than your average housebug... the ninjas can be broken with a single swat, but will remain endless until their stealth sprite sources are captured and properly scolded... ninja apparition activities may include displaying poor fashion sense, disorganizing, distracting, and the occasional theft.

 

"Uh oh." Wyvern gulps and wipes some sweat from his brow. "I wonder how bad it is."

I like this poem, Pheonix. :-) The wording of a number of the lines was well done, with the lines about the padding of the bed and the heartstrings standing out to me in particular. The thematic elements of this poem are also intriguing. I like how the emptiness and struggle of the relationship isn't attributed to any specfic events or forces other than the "reality of life." You paint an open and intricate picture of the struggle to connect without losing the personal emotion.

 

I think that the loose grammar and lack of punctuation works well in this piece for the most part, but the transition from "kindles" to "smothered" in the third stanza still felt awkward to me. You might consider changing "kindles" to "kindling" to smooth out this segment, or it could be as simple as dropping the "is" from the beginning of the third line. Then again, "smothered" would be modifying "hope" if either of those changes were made rather than "heart," which may not be what you intended. Also, I wasn't sure why the lines of the first and final stanzas began with capital letters while the others followed a normal uncapitalized format, and you might want to make the stanzas more consistant in this respect (or elaborate upon the different uses of capitals if they're interentional).

 

Anyway, this is nice stuff Pheonix. :-) Thanks for sharing this poem here.

Very good poem, Thinas. :-) I really like the details that you used to draw upon the two opposing personalities, and thought that the way you juxtaposed her gentle beauty with the dark chains and death metal screams was excellent. The stark contrast was effective in conveying a sense of frustration and absurdity in the relationship, and there were many refreshing moments that caught me off-guard and surprised me as good poetry does. I really like the whole stance of musical integrity that the narrator takes in the piece, and agree with Appy about the "door opens outwards, and you're in the way" line. The wording of the line "Buried by Ethos to conflict smother" also stood out to me, and I really liked the casual jeering tone of the fourth stanza. Nice closing lines, too. :-)

 

In terms of possible improvements, the third stanza was the one point where I felt that the piece was trying to sound a bit more "epic" in its wording and tone. The stanza felt a little awkward to me in the context of the rest of the piece, and you might consider either dropping it or revising it with a more personal tone that fits the rest of the piece. Also, while the line itself is excellent, the Ghandi quote felt a little out of place to me in the middle of the poem, as it just seemed to be dangling like an afterthought between stanzas. I think that section of the poem might work better without the Ghandi quote interrupting the flow of the stanza, though you could also try to incorporate it into one of the stanzas or even build a new stanza around it.

 

Anyway, good stuff Thinas. :-) It's always great to see a new post from you here. I'm sorry to hear that the relationship didn't work out in the end, and hope that you've been doing well regardless.

Wyvern races towards the "Paper Airplane Terminal," glancing up at the various madlib responses as they twist their way through the air on the finest of paper wings (with the exception of Wyvern's "Congratulations Salinye" glider, which lumbers with all shakeyness one would expect from an almost dragonic contract). The overgrown lizard screeches to a halt next to the circular landing platform and begins setting up a paper mache baggage claim area, only to freeze as he notices something off-key on the runway. His beady eyes bulge out of their sockets as he notices what appears to be a Grimmael figurine in the spot where Peredhil used to be, and promptly panics as sky etiquette is lost amongst the incoming planes. Wyvern slips over a wet spot of chocolate, falling over as the planes cram their way onto the narrow landing strip simultaneously. Several crumpled sheets of paper and failed recovery attempts later, the poster front of the "control tower" sign peels off to reveal a new message:

 

---

 

The story segment used for airplane communication was taken from Mynx's "Blinding Pride", and read as follows:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Mynx glared at Cryptomancer as the pair walked back to the RuneMage’s quarters, each carrying a bag of weapons.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Crypt grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you slipped.”

“I don’t slip. CheerMynx slips. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten lazy since you came here,” Crypt ducked mid stride to avoid the feline’s elbow, laughing as they came to a halt his quarters.

“Coffee?” he offered. Mynx grunted noncommittally, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before sundown still.”

Crypt nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Mynx followed him into his quarters, tossing the weapons bag in a corner and retrieving her scythe where she’d left it as she summoned her death robe about herself. As Crypt disappeared into another room to change, Mynx’s eye caught his bookshelf full of tomes and spell books. Ears pricking up in interest, the cat moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the books. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

After translating things to paper mache code, the text read as follows:

 

“I still think you cheated,” [Female Pennite] glared at [Male Pennite] as the pair walked back to the [A Mythical Title]’s quarters, each carrying a [noun].

“I just took advantage of the situation,” [same Male Pennite] grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you [Verb, past tense].”

“I don’t [same verb, present tense]. [Name of Pennite] [same verb, present tense]. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten [adjective] since you came here,” [same male pennite] ducked mid stride to avoid the [pennite]’s elbow, [Verb ending in “ing”] as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“[A Liquid]?” he offered. [same female pennite] grunted [Adverb], before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before [A Time of Day] still.”

[same male pennite] nodded, before opening his door and walking in. [same female pennite] followed him into his quarters, tossing the [Noun] in a corner and retrieving her [Weapon] where she’d left it as she summoned her [Exotic article of clothing] about herself. As [same male pennite] disappeared into another room to [verb], [same Female Pennite]’s eye caught his [Piece of Furniture] full of tomes and [Plural Noun]. [Part of Body, plural] pricking up in interest, the [pennite] moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the [same plural noun]. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

The following transmissions were recieved from individual airplanes, shortly before the collisions:

 

---

 

Tanuchan’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Mynx glared at Venefyxatu as the pair walked back to the Holy High Priest of Anu-Anu (God of Gods)’s quarters, each carrying a sheep.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Venefyxatu grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you smote.”

“I don’t smite. Panther smites. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten glorious since you came here,” Venefyxatu ducked mid stride to avoid the feline’s elbow, gamboling as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Liquid Nitrogen?” he offered. Mynx grunted gamely, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before the interval between being awake and asleep still.”

Venefyxatu nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Mynx followed him into his quarters, tossing the kayak in a corner and retrieving her potted plant where she’d left it as she summoned her sarong about herself. As Venefyxatu disappeared into another room to trip, Mynx’s eye caught his settee full of tomes and scissors. Kidneys pricking up in interest, the cat moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the scissors. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Mardrax’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Ptraci glared at the Portrait of Zool as the pair walked back to the Great All-Devourer’s quarters, each carrying a picture frame.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” the Portrait of Zool grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you threatened.”

“I don’t threaten. Panther threatens. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten yellow since you came here,” The Portrait of Zool ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, pouncing as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Coca Cola Vanilla?” he offered. Ptraci grunted happily, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before midnight still.”

The Portrait of Zool nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Ptraci followed him into his quarters, tossing the paintbrush in a corner and retrieving her razor blade where she’d left it as she summoned her full-leather dominatrix outfit about herself. As the Portrait of Zool disappeared into another room to carress, Ptraci’s eye caught his chair full of tomes and feathers. Eyes pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the feathers. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Appy’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Sweetcherrie glared at Venefyxatu as the pair walked back to the Crocodile in the Sewer’s quarters, each carrying a keyboard.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Venefyxatu grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you smashed.”

“I don’t smash. Tzimfemme smashes. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten bloody since you came here,” Venefyxatu ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, finding as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Green tea?” he offered. Sweetcherrie grunted grudgingly, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before half past four still.” Venefyxatu nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Sweetcherrie followed him into his quarters, tossing the katana in a corner and retrieving her scissors where she’d left it as she summoned her buttoned boots about herself. As Venefyxatu disappeared into another room to work, Sweetcherrie’s eye caught his dresser full of tomes and glasses. Lungs pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the glasses. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Patrick’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Lady Celes Crusador glared at Valdar as the pair walked back to the Flight of Icarus quarters, each carrying a brush.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Valdar grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you flew.”

“I don’t fly. Gwaihir flies. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten prolific since you came here,” Valdar ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, doing as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Magma?” he offered. Lady Celes Crusador grunted extremely, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before noon still.”

Valdar nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Lady Celes Crusador followed him into his quarters, tossing the tree in a corner and retrieving her katana where she’d left it as she summoned her kimono about herself. As Valdar disappeared into another room to graduate, Lady Celes Crusador’s eye caught his chair full of tomes and mice. Ears pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the mice. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Zadown’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Tzimfemme glared at the Dreamer as the pair walked back to the Errant of the Grail’s quarters, each carrying a rune.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” the Dreamer grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you prophesized.”

“I don’t prophesize. Lord Valdar Twiceborn prophesizes. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten acquiscent since you came here,” the Dreamer ducked mid stride to avoid the nekkid mage’s elbow, coruscating as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Angel’s blood?” he offered. Tzimfemme grunted crushingly, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before high noon still.”

The Dreamer nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Tzimfemme followed him into his quarters, tossing the true name in a corner and retrieving her Jade Katana “Beneficial Dragon” where she’d left it as she summoned her torc of primal fire about herself. As the Dreamer disappeared into another room to juxtapose, Tzimfemme’s eye caught his marble throne full of tomes and projections. Hips pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the projections. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Sweetcherrie’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Minta glared at Lil Valdar as the pair walked back to the Might Gabul of Lasagna Village’s quarters, each carrying chocolate glitter.

“I just took advantage of the chocolate situation,” Lil’ Valdar grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you zotted.”

“I don’t zot. Mynx zots. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten silly since you came here,” Lil’ Valdar ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, flinging chocolate as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Elvenwine?” he offered. Minta grunted redly, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some chocolate things I want to get done before midnight still.”

Lil’ Valdar nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Minta followed him into his quarters, tossing the chocolate bubble in a corner and retrieving her Holy Sword of Demonpoking where she’d left it as she summoned her Platemail Bikini (+100 stamina, and now even more see-through) about herself. As Lil’ Valdar disappeared into another room to sit, Minta’s eye caught his loveseat full of tomes and clouds. Toes pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the chocolate titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the clouds. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Quincunx’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Elwen glared at Solivagus as the pair walked back to the chocolate Bestower’s quarters, each carrying a chocolate millet.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Solivagus grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you flensed.”

“I don’t flense. Arwen flenses. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten splendid since you came here,” Solivagus ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, aspiring as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Honey?” he offered. Elwen grunted often, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before Heldentime still.”

Solivagus nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Elwen followed him into his quarters, tossing the vessel in a corner and retrieving her warclub where she’d left it as she summoned her earsocks about herself. As Solivagus disappeared into another room to gesture, Elwen’s eye caught his telephone table full of tomes and fusillades. Eyelashes pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the fusillades. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Katzaniel’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Tavarilyn glared at Mardrax as the pair walked back to the Supreme Mythman’s quarters, each carrying a man.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Mardrax grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you zippered.”

“I don’t zipper. Melba zippers. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten quirky since you came here,” Mardrax ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, flowing as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Windex?” he offered. Tavarilyn grunted incredibly, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done slightly after the crack of dawn still.”

Mardrax nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Tavarilyn followed him into his quarters, tossing the worm in a corner and retrieving her rapier where she’d left it as she summoned her tuque about herself. As Mardrax disappeared into another room to flash, Tavarilyn’s eye caught his footstool full of tomes and wires. Bellybuttons pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the wires. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Alaeha’s Version:

 

 

“I still think you cheated,” Signe glared at Gyrfalcon as the pair walked back to the Master of Shiny Tube Socks’s quarters, each carrying a codex.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Gyrfalcon grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you acquiesced.”

“I don’t acquiesce. Merelas acquiesces. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten paisley since you came here,” Gyrfalcon ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, swiping as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Liquid helium?” he offered. Signe grunted blithely, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before nap time still.”

Gyrfalcon nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Signe followed him into his quarters, tossing the signet ring in a corner and retrieving her hand held guillotine where she’d left it as she summoned her jewel encrusted codpiece about herself. As Gyrfalcon disappeared into another room to mince, Signe’s eye caught his ginormous sleeping ferret full of tomes and scales. Torsos pricking up in interest, the succubus moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the scales. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Pheonix’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Tanuchan glared at Gryphon as the pair walked back to the Mistress of the Web’s quarters, each carrying snow.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Gryphon grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you vanished.”

“I don’t vanish. Cryptomancer vanishes. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten the biggest since you came here,” Gryphon ducked mid stride to avoid the wolf’s elbow, swiping as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“Methylated spirits?” he offered. Tanuchan grunted gently, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before the midnight hour still.”

Gryphon nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Tanuchan followed him into his quarters, tossing the gun in a corner and retrieving her mace where she’d left it as she summoned her fishnet stocking about herself. As Gryphon disappeared into another room to vibrate, Tanuchan’s eye caught his massage chair full of tomes and buses. Toes pricking up in interest, the pennite moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the buses. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

 

Venefyxatu’s Version:

 

“I still think you cheated,” Salinye glared at Racouol as the pair walked back to the Bringer of Gifts, Cake and Horrible Doom’s quarters, each carrying a papercut.

“I just took advantage of the situation,” Racouol grinned back at his friend. “It’s not my fault you sliced.”

“I don’t slice. Kikuyu Black Paws slices. I don’t.”

“Maybe you two are more similar than you thought. Or maybe you’ve just gotten gleeful since you came here,” Racouol ducked mid stride to avoid the pennite’s elbow, speeding as they came to a halt at his quarters.

“The Dip?” he offered. Salinye grunted flamingly, before shaking her head.

“I shouldn’t. I have some things I want to get done before @418.7 still.”

Racouol nodded, before opening his door and walking in. Salinye followed him into his quarters, tossing the scenario in a corner and retrieving her suicide granny where she’d left it as she summoned her straw skirt about herself. As Racouol disappeared into another room to record, Salinye’s eye caught his grandfather clock full of tomes and jars. Eyeballs pricking up in interest, the slurpee princess moved closer to look at some of the titles.

“Hey,” she called out, eyes never leaving the jars. “Mind if I borrow some of these?”

 

---

 

Wyvern raises a chocolate-covered claw from the ground.

 

"Thanksssss for *slurp* participating."

Wyvern skitters into the Cabaret Room and slides up next to Salinye with the greatest of almost dragonic awkwardness. He nudges her with a scaly shoulder, then raises his snout to her ear and hisses:

 

'Congratulationssss. I'd try and hire ya myself to re-pen some recent gnome patenting contracts, but I figure ya wouldn't be into costlylance writing as much." Wyvern winks, then gives Salinye a quick scaly hug. "Just don't become too much of a ghost with yer ghostwriting, O.K?"

 

With that, Wyvern grins and pulls out a rejected gnome contract. He folds the thick sheet into a crooked paper airplane and tosses it into the air, only to dash off as he watches it swerve through the air with a number of madlib-response paper airplanes, moving in a crash course towards the tiny "Paper Airplane Terminal" table.

 

OOC: Congratulations, Salinye. I'm glad you've found a job that's exciting and enjoyable.

reverie - well-noted, I'll definitely have to check out "Animal House" at some point (thanks once again for your Wes Anderson recommendations, btw, I can't believe I almost overlooked him). :-) Kikuyu - I've heard quite a few positive reviews of "The Fountain," and Darren Aronofsky seems to be a pretty popular director with "Requiem for a Dream" and "Pi" under his belt. I haven't seen any of his films yet, is there any way his style could be described? "The Fountain" does sound pretty ambitious, though I might wait til it comes out on DVD. Or maybe I should whet my appetite with one of his other films...

 

Last weekend, I saw the new Bond flick "Casino Royale." Disappointing. I have no problem with Daniel Craig as the new Bond, and think he does a good job in the role despite some differences in style and appearence. Eva Green is also gorgeous as the heroine of the pic, and plays her part well. My problem with the flick, though, is that the action wasn't that gripping to me and I kept thinking the film was going to end only to watch another continuation. Tag it the "Return of the King" effect. They also made the mistake of [spoiler alert]knocking off the main villain[/spoiler alert] too early... the evil syndicate was nowhere near as bad-ass as a guy who cries blood. It's a decent film, but it didn't leave me 100% entertained.

This is a nice story so far, Degorram. :-) I really like the character of Ire, as her fears, feelings, and enthusiasm feel like those of a real teenager and are easy to sympathize with in the high fantasy setting of the piece. I also like some of the more fantastical characters you've depicted, particularly Greed with his unwaning encouragement and sensitivity (his name's ill-befitting, in that sense!). The scene of the fairy forest at night was nicely detailed, and was made even better through the way its appearence defied Ire's expectations. The lightning magic concept is also intriguing, and I look forward to seeing what you do with it over the course of the story... the dream that you start off with already hints at some things. My favorite part of the story so far is probably the scene where Ire must face the council of Elders to see if she's achieved "elemental" status, and the building anxiety that comes along with the experience.

 

In terms of potential improvements thus far: I think there are moments where the point of view moves from Ire's perspective to that of an omniscent narrator, which results in general telling that isn't as interesting to read. I would recommend carefully sticking to Ire's perspective throughout the story rather than moving back and forth, as interjections like "Perhaps something should be explained to the reader here" or "The gryphon boy, called Greed, sat back..." could be more effective if they were shown to the reader through Ire rather than being explained directly. Another possible thing to improve would be to strengthen the central conflict of the piece, as we only really hear of the feudal lord in passing through the dialogue, which makes him lack a sense of urgency or importance. Perhaps if we saw some of the effects of the feudal lord's rule rather than just hearing of them, the conflict would be strengthened. For example, the Elders mention that many of the youth of the village are dying under the reign of the feudal lord, so maybe Ire and the others could see some sights of this on the streets? Or maybe the town has grown ugly and decrepit under his rule? Some descriptive details of the impact that the feudal lord has had might make the conflict feel more urgent and exciting. I think this is particularly important, since you've begun moving into a series of smaller conflicts and don't want to lose the bigger picture of the story.

 

Anyway, very nice stuff Degorram. :-) I look forward to reading the continuation. Thanks for sharing this!