Wyvern

Wyvern smooths back the scales on his head as he treads through the Pen's Courtyards, looking over a long checklist that largely consists of alcoholic beverages and ninja pest repellents. The overgrown lizard pauses next to a Japanese Good Fortune Cat garden gnome that has angry eyebrows and pats it on the head. He bites his scaly lip as he accidentally chips one of kitty gnome's ears, then clears his throat loudly and whips out a large megaphone with an almost dragonic skull and crossbones on it. "ATTENTION, Mighty pen!" Wyvern frowns and shakes the megaphone, then peers into its tube and grunts. "COME AnD Participate in the latest (profitable) good deed of the pen. Hrmph, justasec." Wyvern steps next to a frowning dwarf-ish garden gnome holding a mini-spear and sets the mouthpiece of his megaphone on the ornamental weapon's edge. He twists it over the tip, only to bite his lip again as a bit of the spear chips off. "*ahem* THE LATEST GooD Deed of the pen: a recreational facility for the Courtyard's tiny yet devoted population of garden gno-" Wyvern snorts and shakes the megaphone again, then tosses it to the side and rolls up his checklist as a makeshift voice-projector replacement. "Garden gnomes. With all due respect to Asmadeus, who already has his own personal Pen lodgings, I think the garden gnomes of the Pen have grown tired of always hanging around Gwaihir's greenhouse, and could use a lil' recreational facility of their own. It is up to us to help these minature icons feel just as welcome as anyone else at the Pen. I mean, take Flamingo Mack here." Wyvern steps next to what could be a garden gnome ressembling a garden flamingo. He bites his lip again as he notices that his skull and crossbones megaphone had landed right on top of the flamingoid, covering it completely. "*AHEM* Anyway, all of the basics for the recreation facilities have been set in place, so we just need some exotic gadgets and devices to make this little center a regular garden gnome resort! I myssself am offering an Almost Dragonic Brand Garden Gnome Lawnmower Tinkering Table™, essential for any true gnome-ish statue." Wyvern waves a claw towards a wide rickety table containing a buzzsaw, a chainsaw, a hacksaw, a seesaw and a piece of paper detailing the Almost Dragonic Brand Garden Gnome Lawnmower Tinkering Table™'s lack of health insurace. "So come one, come all! Add your own piece to the garden gnome comfort puzzle. All varieties of appliances accepted." ;-) OOC: Roll call is on! Add your own item to the Garden Gnome Recreation Center... your post needn't be long!

This evening, I went to see Busdriver perform a free set at Amoeba Records in Berkeley. Not too much to report here since it was a quick set, but Busdriver definitely still has the energy and charisma required to put on a good show. Some of his new directions are a bit experimental in a live setting... but then, all of his directions have always been experimental. Anyway, Amoeba's Wonway introduced Busdriver to the crowd and did a little beatbox intermission while folks were waiting. After a typical half hour or so of waiting (something about hip hop shows and not starting on time...), Busdriver came out, with Caural once again backing him behind the boards on drum machines and laptop. Busdriver was celebrating the release of his new Epitaph album "Roadkillovercoat," and kicked some crazy styles as usual. Beyond the unbelievable amount of breath control and wacky cadence this guy has, Busdriver stands out for the improvisational way he does his tracks live. On many songs, he did the first verse of the track and then broke into a lengthy freestyle while Caural varied the drum rhythms in an unpredictable manner. That and it's just impossible to hate on an emcee who rhymes "neo-natzis" with "Noam Chomsky" on a dance track. Busdriver mentioned at the end of his set that he has some sort of DVD of album outtakes coming out that features "the LA riots, the Chicago riots, the New York riots, and footage from my shows." My grandparents and mother both attended this in-store as well, and everyone was impressed by Busdriver's zany stylings. Good to see that all his hard work over the years is paying off... see him if you get a chance, I hear he's touring with those indie rock darlings Deerhoof these days.

Nice poem, Appy. :-) The message and feeling that you put behind it are very strong, and the positive feel of the poem is refreshing. In terms of potential things to improve, the line "It is close to having faith" felt a little extraneous to me in its own seperate stanza. The comparison of a strong relationship to a faith is fascinating, and expanding upon that line or incorporating it into the other stanzas somehow might be a means of improving its impact on the poem as a whole. Also, the manner that the lines are spaced in the last stanza didn't maintain the positive tone of the rest of the piece to me, mainly due to the singling out of "leaving me dwindled" in the second line. Anyway, nice stuff once again Appy. Thanks for sharing it here.

I like this poem, Mardrax. The way that you twist the traditional verses of "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall" with a deeper examination of the effects of alcohol is well done, and the wordplay of "good spirits" and "bad spirits" is clever as well. I also like the juxtaposition of "sinking" and "rises" in the first stanza, nice arrangement of words as usual. I think this poem is more direct than some of your other recent stuff, but it isn't any less effective. Thanks for sharing it here.

Last night, I went and saw P.O.S, Mac Lethal, Dessa, and Silent Army perform at the Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco. I had seen P.O.S and Mac Lethal previously in concert and knew they were great performers, but the addition of Doomtree's Dessa to the lineup was definitely the factor that drove me to check this show out. The crowd at Bottom of the Hill this evening was surprisingly one of the liveliest and most supportive crowds I've ever seen in San Francisco, with plenty of dancing, chanting, and cheers. Of course, I still ended up next to probably the biggest deadbeat in the crowd, who asked me more than once if maybe I wouldn't dance so energetically while everyone else was dancing with me. The first time he asked it, I tried to give him some more room and dance with less hand motion... but the second time he asked, I straight flipped out on him with a "HELL NO!" and began dancing twice as hard. When the moshpits broke out in P.O.S's set, this guy was trying to shove me something fierce, but I think I nailed him pretty well with an elbow by the end of it. Ahhhh, released aggression. Anyway, aside from that one dude, it was a great show. Things started off with a very brief set from Silent Army, a local San Francisco M.C who wasn't listed in the lineup, but who P.O.S let perform for around ten minutes. He had the energy for a good stage show, but kind of lacked the charisma and creativity that make for an entertaining rapper. His selection of beats was excellent, but they were all beats taken from established Rhymesayers acts who had already rapped over them better. Still a fairly decent ten minute intro. Dessa was the next to take the stage, and she put on a great set. One of the most talented of the upcoming Doomtree crew out of Minneapolis and possibly the best female M.C currently working in hip hop, Dessa has an excellent voice and cadence. She's an awesome singer, a skilled rapper, an accomplished poet, and easy on the eyes to boot. Her set was mostly composed of new tracks since she doesn't have an official album out yet, and all of her new music struck me as very impressive. Dessa's quiet style of singing and rapping isn't necessarily the best thing for grooving to on the dancefloor, and there were moments where the crowd felt almost *too* lively for her brand of hip hop, but she threw in a few dance numbers near the end. It was great to see such a talented M.C get such a crazy amount of cheering and support from the crowd, and Dessa seemed ecstatic over the crowd's response in general. It was a great set that demonstrated Dessa's many talents... definitely an M.C to be on the lookout for. Mac Lethal was next up to bat, and put on an entertaining set of his trademark humor and M.Cing skills. Some of his signature antics were there, like rapping in double time about how he got a DUI over Three 6 Mafia's "Get Fly" beat, and he also got the crowd involved with plenty of funny anecdotes and lyrics. At one point in the middle of a really upbeat song, he asked that everybody kiss the cheek of the person next to them, so I kissed a hot girl that happened to be next to me on the cheek, bwahaha. Mac didn't bring along any megaphone with him this time, but his songs and freestyles were more than enough to hold the crowd's attention. The audience was as lively as ever for his tracks, which boosted the whole thing into "officially hype" territory. Very good set. P.O.S finished the evening off with a very strong set of his killer metal-influenced songs. The crowd once again really impressed me with how into it they were, as there were times when it seemed like everyone in the audience was shouting out every lyric to P.O.S's tracks. Mosh pits broke out at a few points during the set... still not really my thing (I got shoved around quite a bit), but it was nice to let some of that pent-up aggression loose. At one point in the set, Mac Lethal was called back to the stage to help P.O.S perform an outstanding version of "Gimme Gimme Gunshots," with P.O.S's heated verses really standing out in particular. With the crowd so involved, it really felt like P.O.S was giving it his all, and he occasionally surprised the crowd with a different style of rapping over familiar tracks. He also performed some brand new material, and ended the set with a series of acapellas from him and Mac Lethal. Great set for a quality show. To top things off, here's a video of Dessa performing a new track of hers live: ... and here's a video of Dessa giving the Mighty Pen a little shout post-performance. Pardon the horrible lighting and California specific nature of it all. Still a quick shout out:

Nice poem, Mardrax. The Reaper/Farmer/harvest imagery leaves me with a kind of "four horseman" impression that reminds me of biblical mythology. I like the way that you juxtapose the sounds of words in this, with the placement of "reappear" and "Reaper" standing out to me in particular... as you know, I generally like the form of your poems. You mentioned on chat that you were afraid that the meaning of the poem might be lost in its imagery, but I definitely get thematic elements of death and the importance of the Farmer maintaining the core of it all. I didn't quite get what the "Sower" was meant to represent though, kind of an odd choice of words there... is he a metaphorical sower of "paranoia/ distrust and dismay"? Anyway, good stuff, thanks for sharing it. I dunno about this "too empty/too full" paradox thing though... as far as I'm concerned, when the impression gets that general, it's time to focus on another aspect of the poem. ;-p

Wyvern clatters and clangs his way into the Cabaret Room, waving around what appears to be a rusted bronze amulet stuck on the wider half of his tail. Proposal paperwork flutters through the air as the lizard slinks towards the fireplace, detaching itself from its spot on his stinger like the ghost of CCGs and Greek Myth Gods past. The overgrown lizard butts his way into the center of a large seat next to the fire, uncertain if the two figures he's scrunching himself between are real or mannequins. He stares into the fire with forlorn eyes that seem to moan "pennite withdrawal," reaching into his pockets and tossing out several tangled weeds and chains to feed the flickering flames. "Hmph. Rummaged through those Temporary Dumps, and not a black market-worthy trinket to be found. Only trash I dug up were those weeds... and whatever it was that was attached to my tail, I guess." Wyvern snorts quietly, then spits a bit of ash into the hypnotic licks of fire. "Are ya planning on making it an official Dumping site? Didn't get a chance to test out my Almost Dragonic Brand Trashy-o-meter™." Patrick frowns at Wyvern's slightly drunken slur and double-frowns at the thought of the lizard going through Alliance remnants with almost dragonic marketing in mind. He steps forward, only to pause as Wyvern holds up a blank piece of paper taken from the Devil's Advocate. "Got my trash-digger/mold-miner credentials right *hic* here." Wyvern manages to wave the blank sheet once before dropping it with a retch. The overgrown lizard sniffles a little, than coills his tail around his right leg in an asp-like manner and cocks his head back on the headrest of the seat. "Maybe I should just turn the nob of the Trashy-o-meter from 'Trashiest' to 'Trashier,' that helped when searching those Troll dumps in my 're-sell their discarded human bones as chewables' campaign.' Ah, those were the daysss." Wyvern stares up at the Cabaret ceiling in silence, ignoring the inevitable cramp in his neck. The Trashy-o-meter blows a fuse in the background, causing the mannequin on Wyvern's left to topple over. It lands in an odd spread on the Cabaret floor, like a hollow fur-less rug immune to the fire's glow...

I like this story so far, Ran Yoko. :-) I definitely appreciate the self-conscious comedy that you intersperse throughout it, especially with the reoccuring Ninja Minion communications and the huge cluster of Mystics telling Kage no Yami to quiet down so they can figure out how to defeat him. I also like how you start the story with the interesting image of Sora talking to Kagero the cat, and really like the implication that Earth could be a potential grounds for reincarnation. Your style of humor actually really reminds me of mai takekaze's stories, to the point where I actually think there's a chance that you two could be related... Am I in the zone? If you aren't related to mai, then you should definitely check out her stories, as I'm sure you'll find a kindred comic spirit in them. :-) Anyway, welcome to the Mighty Pen! I hope you find it a friendly place to share your writing.

Haphazard or not, I like this poem Mardrax. :-) The arrangement and alignment of seemingly alien words is particularly interesting to me, with "Jugend craze" standing out amongst others. I also like how it traces pheromones of memories past through a sense of smell. The placement of "Nucking futs" is cool as well. The only part of the poem that feels off to me is the last stanza... the other three stanzas feel personal and embedded in experience to me, while the last one feels like a general statement that anyone could have made. Interesting stuff. :-) I'm glad you decided to share this "unsober/unawake" poem with us here. It'll be interesting to see what direction you take with it should you choose to revise it.

Last night, I went to see Subtle, Pigeon John, and Wallpaper perform at the Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco. I was very excited about this lineup since both Subtle and Pigeon John have quite a reputation for their excellent live shows, and this is the first time I've seen them performing in the same lineup. Anyway, this show not only lived up to my expectations, but exceeded them. Phenomenal performances from everyone involved... it probably registers as one of the best concerts I've been to. The concert's many auditory and visual delights were hinted at from the moment I viewed the set up of the stage, which featured several drum sets, numerous microphones, an MPC, a variety of keyboards and synthesizers, a saxophone, a flute, an easychair, and a cut out of a giant heart under a skull with a gold tooth. Still, I don't think there's anything that could have prepared me for the caliber of the performances to come. The first act that took a stage was a group called Wallpaper, who I'd never heard of. The group was composed of a lead singer, a drummer, and what I'm guessing was a third member off-stage who was manipulating the sounds of the microphone as the lead singer sang. Wallpaper's set started off with the group's vocalist sitting back in the easychair on stage as the sounds of a ship harbor filled the venue, and then he stepped up to the microphone and kicked things off with a bizarre throwback funk-style number. The manner that the sounds of the singer's mic were distorted and manipulated was kind of reminscent of old-school disco stuff, but the live drumming and strange vocal arrangements threw it into some other odd category. What's nice is that, despite the rampant experimentation with mic sounds and drumming, the style of music worked very well in a live setting. The quality of the arrangements might have been questionable at times, but overall it was very original, danceable, and entertaining to watch. Thumbs up. After a lengthy wait in which some additional music equipment was set up, Pigeon John came out and knocked the ball out of the park with a fantastic performance. He brought out a band with him, with one guy on drums and another on keyboards and guitar, and infused the crowd with the crazy energy and humor that have become his calling card. This was the first time I've seen PJ's tracks rendered live and improvised with a band, and it really seemed to breath some new life into his music while challenging him to push himself to to the limits. He performed shining renditions of a number of his best tracks, got the crowd involved with his zany humerous antics and storytelling, and even took up the guitar himself and played a comic campfire story track for the audience. The last time I saw Pigeon John with Busdriver was a memorable occasion for the intimacy of the venue, but his set in this show is probably the best I've ever seen from him. PJ declared that his objective was to kiss us and to kill us with his performance, and he did just that. Awesome set. A number of interesting props were set up around the stage before Subtle came out to perform as the headliner of the evening. Their instrumental lineup consisted of Jel on drum machines, Alexander Kort on electric cello, Jordan Dalrymp on live drums and guitar, Marty Dowers on saxophone and woodwinds, and the legendary Doseone on vocals. This band has continuously amazed me with its musical freedom and lack of genre-bound limitations in recordings, but what I wasn't aware of is that a whole other element is added in their live show that can't be caught on record. The difference is that on stage, Subtle is not even limited to music. Theatre, anecdotes, poetry, and interpretive dance are all fair game in their set, and it doesn't even end there... it's as if there are no limitations to their creativity. Absolutely amazing. I don't think there's any way to adequately describe their set to you, but needless to say... it rained forks. The hype skull lost its pill brain, and Vice Magazine turned out to be a subscription to apathy. The name Dave Swan (pronounced in an English accent) shall not soon be forgotten. There are honestly too many highlights to name here. One thing's for sure though: no matter what Doseone is doing live, he's always a pleasure to watch in all his eccentric glory. He's the rare case of a person who perfected the art of M.Cing many years ago, and has since moved on to explore uncharted musical territories. He can sing, rap, and poeticize with the best of them. And the rest of the band are all talented musicians capable of following Dose's line of thought, adding a great deal of freedom that wasn't there before. Incredible live show. Here's some video footage to top this review off: A segment of Pigeon John performing "Identity Crisis" with his band: Things got pretty crazy when Pigeon John performed "Higher": Just a small example of the stuff Subtle has to offer: Subtle performing the beginning of "Return of the Vein":

I'll just cosign what others have said in thanking you for sharing these journal entries, Regel. Even when dealing with monotonous chores like cleaning out the swimming pool, these posts definitely show a genuine side of your personality through your observations, anecdotes, and style of writing. It's great to learn more about you, and this thread is certainly a means of bringing people closer to your life. My favorite posts thus far are the story about you and Holly bonding and your National Geographic memory... It's interesting how many of your entries deal with animals. I'm very sorry to hear about the health struggles of your family and friends. I don't know if this will be of any comfort, but I thought I'd offer an addendum to your story of the hyenas and the baby rhino... the process is a very cruel one, as you said, but it also strikes me as part of natural selection, similar to the way that many baby tortoises never make it to the Ocean. I've always thought of hyenas as mostly scavengers, but maybe it's important that they have weak and helpless prey so that their own young will survive. I'm not sure how that would translate to metaphor, though "natural" would probably be the key word and focus. Thank you once again for sharing these. As Wrenny said, please take care of yourself.

Pray. Keystroke self distance, reach within without thought, dead to the other. Another hit, guest book novelty. Repeat co-sign to novelty. Repeat co-sign to safe receives, the repeat. Co-sign to repeat the indifferent harm, repeat replacement. Co-sign novelty. Long to be prey. Thought without reach, a cease to feel others repeat within.

Fizzle sighed with relief at the faint sense of normalcy the once-stretchy world seemed to offer, but cried out and fell back when he realized the wall he was pressing against was none other than the goose-pimpled flesh of his sidekick for hire, Flat the Devilbustered Dumpling Lobber. Flat's kogoblorc* gingerwarts deepened to a sickening shade of purple, and she crossed her arms over the bosom that had earned her her nickname as she watched Fizzle back away with a petrified stare. "Why *ribbit* Boss." Flat fluttered her prickly eyelashes as she spoke in a deep croaking voice. "I didn't know you *ribbit* cared." "This is no time for flirtation, Flat!" Fizzle almost stamped his foot on the ground, but then remembered his situation and pointed downwards with a wild stare. "Get me a floor immediately." "Yes *ribbit* Boss." Flat flashed a grin of beautiful pearly white teeth, then pulled out a large basting brush from the many items crammed into the region where her cleavage might have been. She promptly frog-hopped over to Fizzle's location and began spreading BBQ sauce on the platform of air surrounding his feet, painting it in dark shades of brown. "Hope this *ribbit* works for you Boss." Flat put her basting brush back in its hiding place and reached for a lukewarm dumpling in her arm-basket, glancing in both directions in a kitchen combat stance. Ever since Fizzle had hired her, she'd been fiercely protective. The disappointment of the Special Chef Operatives rejecting her had been a difficult hit, and Fizzle was her first true employer, fo'shizzle. She had enough dumplings on her to get a small army sticky-wet. "So is this the *ribbit* castle you were talking about *ribbit*, Boss?" * daddy was a mix of kobold and goblin, mommy was an orc

Interesting poem, Mardrax. :-) I like the manner you arrange the lines of the poem in terms of breaks and listings, and the choice to make "eachother" a single word has an interesting visual effect. The title of the poem also encapsulates it well, though the "for me" line that ends the piece seems to suggest that the poem could be more self-centered than its title suggests. One line that I can't quite gage a meaning or impression from is "throw eachother" in the central listing of the poem. The other lines of the poem all make sense or give off positive or negative impressions, but I'm not sure what connotation "throw" is meant to have there. You might consider giving the word choice of that line a more negative or positive feel. Nice stuff, Mardrax. :-) Always good to see more of your work.

Nice poems, Patrick. :-) Short, simple, and pretty effective. The two posts definitely represent different poems as opposed to revisions, since their stances on old toys are basically direct opposites of each other (to state the obvious). The contrast between the two versions of the poem is an interesting one, and it might even be interesting to see if you could combine the two poems at some point as an experiment. Perhaps different children view worn toys in different ways... or maybe the first poem represents the perspective of an adult, as opposed to that of a child. Anyway, thanks for sharing these here Patrick. :-) It's nice to see some new posts from you.

Wyvern saunters into the Cabaret Room wearing a tightly fitted "SBL Writes" billboard, ignoring the general pennite reaction of queasiness as he lifts a large "Publicity" notepad to his snout. The overgrown lizard goes cross-eyed over the fine print as he slithers his way past several lounging pennites, and comes to a stop when he arrives next to the ever-busy Salinye. Wyvern eyes the piles of paper and alternate tasklist surrounding the high elf celebrity, then clears his throat loudly in the hopes of snagging a moment of her time. "Sssssalinye!" Wyvern spreads his arms and gives the high elf an awkward billboard hug before she can dot the period of her latest sentence. "Happy birthday, I hope it goesss great for you. So listen, I know you're gonna be wanting some publicity for your book and all. So for a gift, I've been giving some very ressspectable book dealers in the area a heads up about it. Check it out." Wyvern reaches into his backpocket and pulls out a tattered blood-stained scrap of paper, which he shoves in Salinye's direction. Salinye reaches out to take the filthy sheet, but hesitates within fingers reach and decides that reading it from where Wyvern holds it might be a better option. "Ogmiir Shorak's Bar and Book Grill?" Salinye smirks at the list, squinting in disbelief at the questionable names of some of the book dealers. "Err, thanks Wyv... though are you sure Goblin Gabe's Looseleaf Bouquet Emporium is a good place to market this?" "Ooooh yeah, definitely. I think G.G might need to dogear the copies he gets, but otherwissse it's a surefire bet and a great way to show off the beauty of your writing. And I hear that high elf literature is a speciality at Ogmiir Shorak's, they serve a lotta orcs y'know? Now, to be honessst, if you wanted to sell it at Nymphomanian's Hidden Forest Wood Shack, you might need to throw in a raunchy scene or two. Nothing you can't handle, I'm sure." Wyvern sticks out his forked tongue out with a wink. "Oh, and did I mention that I'm also selling these billboards as an armored clothing line? Almost Dragonic Brand SBL Billboard Babytuxes™, cus' there's no protection greater than that of an iron will." ;-) OOC: Happy Birthday, Shelbinye. :-) I hope you have a great one.

Last weekend, I rented and watched the film "Blood Rayne" with a friend of mine who was visiting for a few days. I was curious about this film since Yui and Aegon had told me it was the worst movie they’d ever seen, and I felt like watching a B-movie to make fun of. "Blood Rayne" was exceptionally awful, as one might expect from a film based on a hack-and-slash vampire video game starring Kristanna Loken (Terminator 3), but I must say that it was one of the most hilariously bad movies I've had the pleasure of laughing at. When my friend and I were watching this, we were laughing so hard over it that we were reduced to tears, and had to pause the film several times just so we could catch our breath. "Blood Rayne" is just so campy, trite, plotless and poorly acted that it ends up being one unintentionally hilarious scene after another. Geeze, where to start with the comedy that is this film... how about the theatrical trailer: "A father... a daughter... a mighty leader... a prophet... a young hero... a guardian... a land ruled by evil... a secret society of avengers... will the world be ruled by light, or darkness? *names of actors flash by, including Meatloaf Aday* Blood Rayne, the adventure begins." That's a direct quote. Moving onto the film itself, we're talking zero points in the character development department, plus an action video game plot loaded with so many loose ends that you lose track. This flick is also so full of unrealistic over-the-top gore that it just feels ludicrous, and the completely random and unnecessary nature of it all makes it too funny. A highlight of this would have to be the final montage of the film, which seems to go back and revisit all of the gorey moments throughout the movie, throwing in an additional gang of unenthusiastic-looking fill-in actors hacking down on a corpse that looks like it's been put through a meat grinder, but which somehow still manages to spurt oodles of blood. The flick also features a completely gratuitous scene of sex that comes right out of the blue, though the director should probably work on his erotica a bit (eh, I can't complain, Kristanna Loken's breasts are still technically the best thing about this picture). The hilarity doesn't end there, as it seems that somehow, Ben Kingsley and Michael Madson managed to tangle themselves into this stinker. Watching them suffer on screen is a guilty pleasure... there's not a moment where you don't see that they're aware of how awful their roles are, and their glum facial expressions and laughable dialogue (I won't even bother going into how bad the script is) speak volumes. And did I mention the CGI special effects for the razor-blade mega death trap in the level 1 tomb? Dangerously funny. Heck, the expressions on characters' faces when they turn into vampires are reason alone to make fun of this film. "Blood Rayne" is a horrible B-movie in every sense imaginable, but it's also one that'll leave you intellectual film-goers laughing your heads off the entire way through due to the extreme level of campiness. A perfect 1. P.S: see the trailer for yourself - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_8DN1Y0sL4 P.P.S: Yui, you'll be horrified to know that this is far from the worst movie I've seen. At least the unintentional comedy value of this flick gives it some redeemable qualities...

Brilyana drummed her fingers restlessly against the armrest of her applicant easychair, sighing to herself and wondering what was taking the Pen’s resident Recruiter such a long time to arrive. She glanced over to the Rolodex Office clock and frowned at the hour, then went back to counting the number of thrice-crumpled balls of paperwork hidden amidst the Office’s messy stacks. She paused in her counting before reaching the Almost Dragonic Brand Ogre Spitballs™, turning towards a creaking sound coming from the Office window. Brilyana raised a brow as a crimson wing struggled to shove its way through the window’s open crack. “Ssssorry I’m late.” Wyvern’s voice echoed from outside the window as the wing continued to scrunch its way into the Office. “I had a bit of a hold up with these magic card goblin gamblers, major annoya-aaAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!” Brilyana’s eyes widened and she rushed towards the window, but not in time to save Wyvern’s wing from slipping back out of the crack with a speed that could only mean “painful landing.” She winced and shut her eyes at the combined sounds of tree branches snapping, garbage cans toppling, and high-pitched squealing. Once the noise had passed, Brilyana glanced out the window to the mangled sight of Wyvern head-first in a trashcan, like an almost dragonic repeat of the monstrous man’s fall in her own tale of the Triceran Isles. “Errr…” Brilyana paused and waited a long moment before raising a hand to her mouth. “Are you alright down there?” Wyvern’s tail twitched in its position hanging over the edge of the trashcan, and the garbage promptly grew a set of horns as he reemerged carrying what appeared to be two half-eaten bags of curly onion cheesedoodles. Brilyana opened the window wider as Wyvern began ascending the wall, and stepped back as the overgrown lizard managed to shove himself into the office. Wyvern coughed a few ashes, wiped a some stale pieces of gingerbread from his scales, then extended a claw to Brilyana. “My apologiessss, thanks for waiting. Here, I got ya this snack to munch on while I look over yer application.” Wyvern shoved one of the stinky bags of curly onion cheese doodles into Brilyana’s hands, then snatched her story from his desktop and began reading it intently. "Verrrry innnteressssting," Wyvern nodded and grinned. "You should check with our many resident shapeshifters about this bird guy, perhapsss Patham has met him at some point in an earlier bird life. I'd be interested in discussing the net value of thossse rubies with ya at some point as well..." Wyvern reached for his acceptance stamp, only to pause and frown as he noticed the date and context of the application story. "Awwww drat... I'm afraid I can't accept it at the moment, cus it's not an application specifically written with the intention of joining the Pen." Wyvern grumbled to himself, then handed the story back to Brilyana. "Sorry. By the way, are you gonna eat that half a bag of curly onion cheesedoodles?" OOC: A nice prologue to your story, Brilyana. :-) Unfortunately, an application to the Mighty Pen must be a new work written specifically with the intention of joining the Pen. You mentioned that you don't have time to write anything new yet, so my suggestion would be to just share your works on the public boards until you do have time and feel like applying. :-) Pretty much all of our writing feedback and collaborative stuff takes place on the public boards around here anyway, so I hope you find it a welcoming community even before you write a new application. :-) Sorry for the inconvenience, I look forward to reading a new work from you in this Office at some point.

It's that time again. :-) Sooo, after much contemplation, here's a tentative list of my top ten favorite albums from 2006. Note that the order of these albums kind of alternates depending on the mood that I'm in, and albums 7 through 10 are also interchangeable with a pool of other excellent albums released this year (honorable mentions: Modill, Subtle, Ceschi, Count Bass D, People Under the Stairs). I also still need to listen to a few albums such as J. Dilla's "Donuts" and Ellay Khule's "In My Own World," plus Dudley Perkins's funky "Expressions" album has been creeping up on me over the course of the last few days. Still, I felt like writing up a list of some sort for the Pen, so I hope that this will do for now: 10) Mr. Lif “Mo’Mega” (Definitive Jux) Mr. Lif is a talented and well-versed M.C with a couple of acclaimed conceptual albums behind him, but this is the first of his full length CDs that’s really stood out to me as a quality record from front to back. While Lif is widely known for his high-concept politically charged raps, this is perhaps his least conceptual and political album to date, and it’s actually his most enjoyable work to me. While “Mo’Mega” may lack the conceptual framework of past albums (see: “I Phantom”), it feels a lot more personal and stylistically varied than his other albums. Lif’s signature political raps are still in tact on tracks like his scathing critique of the fast food nation, “The Fries,” but he also gets down and has fun for a change on numbers like “Washitup!” and “Murs iz my Manager.” Lif’s monotone voice and flow have turned me off halfway through his previous albums, but here the range of moods in the tracks and subject matter seem to give it more variety. El-P’s industrial beatscape also suites Mr. Lif very well, and the artwork, packaging, and lyric booklet that come with the album look fantastic. Definitely worth checking for. 9) Royce “Tuff Love” (Galapagos4) Chicago’s own electro-disco-funk-dance-jam-rock band offer up their official sophomore album of dreamy alternative rock and swirling hypnotic instrumentals. Headed by Galapagos4 staple DJ Whitelightning, the band owes as much to electronica and hip hop as it does to soft rock, and blends an impressive range of genres and styles into its dreamy lovestruck atmosphere. The album isn’t perfect as it drags a bit during the first few tracks, but the standouts on the album are some of the best tracks of the year. “City Heat” and “Girls on Bikes,” featuring Qwel and Robust respectively, both deserve a mention as they combine soft rock with hip hop in a brilliant way that never feels forced or contrived. Royce also shines solo on tracks like the dark disco-influenced “Vladimir” and the sublime story of mended relationships “Cigarettes & Cisco.” Plus, the track “Big Tears” sounds like it could be an excellent track to apologize to your significant other with. Vocalist Jamie Clemmons has a nice singing voice throughout, and DJ Whitelightning takes the band in some very interesting directions that are sure to get you hitting the rewind button. A great piece of music. Pigeon John “And the Summertime Pool Party” (Quannum) Pigeon Johnny has been flexing his unique brand of fun, down-to-earth hip hop for some time now, and his “Summertime Pool Party” record marks the maturation of his style… if “maturation” is really the right word to use for his brand of music. It’s apparent from the moment you press ‘play’ that PJ’s prime objective is to put a smile on your face and show you a good time, and it’s hard not to grin along with the music when it’s this positive and humorous. Pigeon Johnny has a voice and cadence that’s best described as “deliberately corny,” but it comes off as more original than annoying. His songs are often very uplifting and easy to sympathize with, plus he’s the only M.C I know to date who references Cowboy Bebop mid-verse: “Like Spike Spiegel I’m lethal/ Illegal aliens are all my people.” (not the best representation of his lyrics overall, since PJ more or less portrays himself as a wimp over the course of the album, but I still got a kick out of that line). Highlight tracks include the RJD2-produced “Last Sunshine,” the whimsically nostalgic “Growin Old,” and the Pigeon John’s own oddball rendition of R.E.M’s “End of the World.” The best feel good comedy hop you’ll hear this year. 7) Molemen “Killing Fields” (Molemen) This album is actually somewhat of a disappointment given that it’s an album that was in the works for at least five years from one of my favorite production crews in hip hop, and expectations can be a bitch… Never the less, “Killing Fields” is an undeniably professional and polished piece of work with some seriously stunning highlights, and still registers amongst the better albums of the year. The guest list of rappers on “Killing Fields” is mindboggling in itself, with Kool G Rap, Cormega, Del Tha Funky Homosapien, Felt (Slug & Murs), Brother Ali, Mikah Nine, Poison Pen, JUICE, Vakill and Mass Hysteria all making appearances amongst others. As a production crew, the Molemen are currently in their prime, and the beats they provide over the course of the album are consistently impressive. Standouts include JUICE’s track “The Come Up,” which is probably the best JUICE track to date and may be the best track released on any album this year. Felt’s hilarious track “My Alien Girlfriend” and Brother Ali’s excellent “Life Sentence” are not far behind it, though a few appearances from less talented M.Cs prevent this album from being ranked higher in this listing. Still, this is a real quality album overall, and it rivals anything released this year at its high points. With the release of this, “Chicago City Limits vol. 2”, and Vakill’s second album, Molemen have had a seriously excellent year of music. Here’s hoping their reign continues in 2007! 6) Daedelus “Denies the Day’s Demise” (Mush) Fresh off of last year’s amazing “Exquisite Corpse,” Daedelus once again establishes himself as one of the most creative and forward-thinking producers today with yet another album that stands out as one of the best of the year. “Denies the Day’s Demise” is a pretty sharp turn from the dreamy melancholy that coated “Exquisite Corpse,” but still retains the signature elements of Daedelus’s sound: obscure oldie easy listening samples, incredibly intricate layers and texturing, and an underlying feeling of warmth. While “Exquisite Corpse” sat somewhere along the borderlines of hip hop, “Denies the Day’s Demise” leans more towards Bossa Nova and techno... a style that Daedelus has dubbed “electro-tropicalia.” A strong Brazilian influence runs through the album, from the percussion to the choice of sampled voices and instruments, and the result is a lively album full of exotic surprises. The record is entirely instrumental with the exception of the last track where Daedelus sings a bit, and it really showcases his diverse talents as a producer. Fantastic stuff. 5) P.O.S “Audition” (Rhymesayers) P.O.S boldly treads (scratch that, shreds) the line between punk rock and hip hop as no rapper has done before. This is probably because P.O.S (whose initials stand for everything from Promise Of Stress to Pissed Off Stef) was a member of the punk rock bands Om, Cadillac Blindside, and Building Better Bombs before founding the Minneapolis rap crew Doomtree and letting his style loose in hip hop. In short, this guy is no rap-punk crossover gimmick… he unifies the anger and angst of both punk and hip hop in a natural and seemingly effortless way. The results are staggeringly good. “Audition” wastes no time and kicks into high gear right away with “Half-Cocked Concepts,” a track that combines screeching guitar static with heated rap verses and a screamo punk chorus… a combo that works surprisingly well under P.O.S’s tactful guidance. The album only goes uphill from there, delivering one bold and successful experiment after another and creating a cohesive and highly original album. The album references everyone from Nation of Ulysses to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s role in “Predator,” and features a diverse lineup of guests including Greg Antonio of Bouncing Souls and Slug of Atmosphere. This album is exactly the sort of body blow that hip hop needed in 2006, and remains one of the most striking and essential albums of the year. 4) Caural “Mirrors for Eyes” (Mush) Caural uses an amazing palette of emotions on this gorgeous record of quiet downtempo music and instrumental hip hop. “Mirrors for Eyes” is by far Caural’s best work, and demonstrates a real growth in style and a stunning cohesiveness that’s difficult to achieve when the music’s this delicate. This is required headphone listening for quiet nights when you just feel like drifting away. It plays like a journey that brings you to the edge of sleep and then seeps under your skin, poking around at your various feelings and moods with some profoundly beautiful sound collages. The influences at play here range from soft pop music to middle eastern melodies to soft rock to free jazz, but everything maintains a very consistant sound with a warmth that’s somewhat reminiscent of Daedelus’ work while still remaining unique. “Mirrors for Eyes” features guest vocalists on four tracks, with the three indie pop singers (Hrishikesh Hirway of One AM Radio, Paul Amitai, Jacob Croegaert) and one emcee (Racecar of Modill) all adding performances that really enhance the tracks that they grace. Music critics who didn’t like this CD oddly seemed to tag it as either too experimental or not experimental enough, but I think that Caural strikes a perfect balance between the experimental and the accessible, which is an element that was lacking on his previous albums. “Mirrors for Eyes” is a truly exceptional album that casts a beautiful reflection. 3) Dr. Who Dat? “Beat Journey” (Lex) Continuing this year’s odd trend of excellent electro-tropicalia albums, Dr. Who Dat? offers this incredibly smooth and intricately layered piece of work. Having already released a slept-on quality album under the monicker of Jneiro Jarel in 2005, the good doctor offers up a serious helping of funk-fueled tropical breakbeats and loving souled out grooves on this superb journey through beats. While Daedelus’ electro-tropicalia shows a strong affinity towards techno and Bossa Nova, Dr. Who Dat?’s is decidedly more founded in jazz, funk, and tropical soul music. His beats are funky in fresh and creative ways, often relying on a combination of creative sampling and live instrumentation on trumpet and keyboard. The results are exotic indeed, with more than enough tropical soul to pull you through extended Summers. Surprises abound, with a few highlights including Count Bass D’s appearance on keyboards in “Kelly Drive” and the sampling of a ringing telephone as a form of percussion on the ultra-funked-up “Stop Calling Me.” This album really feels like the work of someone deeply in love with the roots of Brazilian jazz, and the record’s a real pleasure to listen to from front to back. His last album as Jneiro Jarel was good, but this one’s in a different league entirely. In an excellent year for instrumental hip hop, Dr. Who Dat?’s “Beat Journey” is undoubtedly one of the year’s crowning achievements. A real gem… The limited edition UK version also includes a bonus album with two vocal tracks and two instrumentals, as well as super deluxe Lex packaging, all of which are excellent! Well worth seeking out. 2) Vakill “Worst Fears Confirmed” (Molemen) “Battling me is like surfing for porn with two left mouse buttons. You ain’t got the right click to save that ass.” The most vicious lyricist in hip hop returns after a three-year hiatus, and delivers a sophomore album that lives up to the sky high expectations set around him. Vakill’s last album, “The Darkest Cloud” (2003), was a brutal verbal manifesto that ranked as an album of the year in an excellent year for hip hop, standing out for it’s exceptional lyrics and grimey production. Vakill is one of the few M.Cs who could make an entertaining album of punchline tracks alone, but he always varies the concepts of his works, preferring to turn to creative stories and personal contemplations instead of being a one-trick punchline pony (though his punchlines are amazing). “Worst Fears Confirmed” is a actually step up from “The Darkest Cloud” is many ways, though it’s a very different piece of work. Vakill’s flow has calmed from the constant assault found on “Darkest Cloud,” and he longer crams as many witty lines into a verse as he did back in 2003. Having said this, the production from the Molemen on the album has gone up in quality 100%, switching from grimey basement tape beats to dark and soulful compositions with a professional feel. When all’s said and done, Vakill sticks to his (brilliant) cruel old self, forming twisted concept tracks about how vaginas have been the causes of multiple wars and spitting lines like “So many Makievelli mini-mes in the game/ it feels like an outbreak of Small Pacs.” “Worst Fears Confirmed” is more than just a follow-up to “The Darkest Cloud,” it’s the sound of one of the finest M.Cs in the game refining his style and going professional. Best lyrics on a hip hop album in 2006… check out the final track about the ghetto pastor for a chill. Essential. 1) Glue “Catch as Catch Can” (Fat Beats) Glue are not envelope-pushers like some of the acts listed in this end-of-the-year line up. There’s no punk-rap fusion, no innovative uses of tropical breakbeats, and no references to Cowboy Bebop in their music. “Catch as Catch Can” is an album firmly founded in the traditions of old school hip hop, with plenty of homages to the eras past and an emphasis on the forces at the base of the music: emceeing, DJing, and producing. The difference between Glue’s work and the work of countless traditional hip hop acts lost in the shuffle is simply skill. There ain’t no half-steppin’ on “Catch as Catch Can,” as Glue brings the traditional elements of hip hop at full throttle, with a passion and energy rarely witnessed in modern day hip hop. Adeem, the M.C of the group, has made a name for himself over the years as an exceptional freestyler, and has stepped his flow game up for this album. He’s rapped on some nice albums in the past, including Glue’s excellent first album “Seconds Away,” but “Catch as Catch Can” is the first time that his live energy and meticulous flow have been accurately caught on record. Backing Adeem on the beats is the ever-reliable Maker, who abandons his typically soft style of production for some slamming old school energy. Maker has established himself over the years as one of the best modern producers in hip hop, and the heat he laces this album with fits nicely on his impressive track record. DJ DQ “the folk-tablist” tops the group off with his scratch wizardry and haunting instrumental pieces, cutting up records with enough intensity and precision to rank amongst the top scratch DJs in hip hop. The chemistry between the three members of the group is apparent throughout the record, and the constant energy and passion displayed by all three of them gives the album an urgent momentum that makes it exciting to listen to. Of course, just because Glue is founded in tradition doesn’t mean they aren’t creative… “Beat Beat Beat” see’s DJ DQ replicating Adeem’s flow with impressive scratches, and “Vessel” tells the haunting story of a robot who thinks that he’s human over a beat that eventually breaks into a heavy metal breakdown. These guys are also absolutely incredible live, and while this CD still isn’t quite as good as witnessing them yourself, they’ve included a video of some stunning live footage from one of their shows as an album bonus. The album also comes with an additional CD including all of the album instrumentals, which are so well-constructed that they feel like an album in and of themselves… double bonus! Hip hop fans and people who have been waiting for Adeem to release something worthy of his skills should check out this record. I'd be interested on hearing any of your thoughts on music you liked in 2006. Overall, I'd rank 2006 about the same as 2005 in terms of music, though it might have been a little worst than 2005 due to there being more disappointing albums this year than there were last year.

Wyv "Alllrrrriiiiiiiiiiight!" Wyvern struck a wide grin and flashed a claws up to Marcos, flapping his wings to the flashes of bright disco color. The overgrown lizard had only a moment to glance up at the grandiose disco ball as Nessa pulled him back into an energetic elven twirl. Wyvern faked a Tarrantino-style hand motion in order to wipe the sweat from his scaly brow inconspicuously, not wanting to reveal to Nessa that he'd broke a sweat. He waved towards Achithyn happily as he noticed him sitting near the refreshments table, then scrunched his wings to grind his back against Nessa's as best as he could. The lizard's eyes widened as Discotheque Shade made his triumphant platform-shoe entrance, and the musical chimes seemed to go into all-out Saturday Nighty Fever mode as folks began pointing their fingers up and down. "Woooooo!" Wyvern glided with Nessa in the direction of the refreshments table, then came to a quick stop and panted for breath as he reached the food and drinks. He grabbed two bottles of Bruteweiser and popped them open with his horns, then downed the two of them simultaneously in an overflow of booze. The lizard handed Nessa a bottle along with a clawful of curly onion cheesedoodles, then raised another bottle to toast. "Thankssss to all of ya guys for coming out." Wyvern grinned and scooted some curly onion cheesedoodles over in Achithyn's direction. The lizard marveled at Shade's extra-funky disco chains for a moment, then turned his eyes away from the dancefloor as Marcos began to raise his black robes again. "To be clear, though, thisss party is entirely in honor of Arcane Artistry! I'm heraldin The Mighty Pen, and we wanted to celebrate our appreciation for your community while adding you to our Lissst of Useful Links. So don't give it up fer me, give it up for yourselves! Y'all are an awesome group of people. Rock rock on!" Wyvern took a long swig of a brew, only to cough and sputter as he spotted what appeared to be a fairy godmother of some sort wearing an outdated dance gown. She was making her way onto the dancefloor, and a trail of dancing arial rabbits was following behind her...

Shade Shade rose from his seat and carefully hoisted a large stack of books as he made his way to the one of the the Arcane Library's myriad shelves. Some said the shelves were filled with every book any arcane member had ever read but Shade was too lazy to check. He started with surprise when he spotted a rabbit holding an invitation releasing the stack right onto his foot. Fortunatly he was too busy to notice as the slender raven haired man reached for a polished mahogany stick leaning against the nearby table. "Damn evil bunnies, their back again!" Shade exclaimed charging at the rabbit with the stick. "Oh dear" the rabbit muttered in an inexplicable british accent, wiggling it's nose "I belive sir that you are quite mistaken. I am not an evil rabbit, I have come merely to deliver an invitation." he explained holding out a small envelope. Shade eyed the rabbit suspiciously before taking the invitation. "Well see about that..." Shade gingerly opens the envelope and reads the invitation. "Alright this is proof enough for me, your not an evil bunny after all. Off to the disco!" Shade shouted enthusiastically as he hobbled across the room. "Dear chap, how do you plan to dance with an obviously injured foot?" the rabbit enquired. "Good question, I also just relised I don't know how to disco." Shade added, his expression one of deep thought and worry. In an explosion of light a plump motherly looking woman with wings appeared "Cinderella you shall go to the ball!". "Why it's the fairy godmother good chap" said the rabbit as he excitedly jumped up and down knocking over the pile of books Shade had dropped. Which fell ontop of the unfortunate rabbit. "Tis indeed eh what?" Shade agreed in a faux british accent for no particular reason. Spotting the invitation the fairy god mother snatched it from his hand and read it. "So you wish to go to the disco, yet have not the moves?" Shade nodded "That's exactly right, but why did that last bit sound like Yoda?" "Never you mind! Now hold still..." she warned as she raised her wand and cried "Dibbity dobbity doo!" Shade's clothes magically transformed into a 70's disco outfit. "Wow, outdated!" Shade exclaimed runiing a hand along the line of the clothes to feel the smoothness of the fabric. "Though I must admit I do feel quite funky". "Outdated indeed, these are the disco clothes of funky +5." She explained her face suddenly turning dead serious the motherly appearence drained from her features to that of a serious old woman. "Now listen to my warning well the spell will only last till midnight where upon your clothes will turn back to jeans and a t-shirt." Shade shrugged as bent down to rescure the rabbit from under the pile of books "I fail to see the problem" The fairy godmother sighed spinning her wand on her fingers "Then you will forget how to disco and look stupid" "Oh well, will this chnage your mind?" Shade asked standing up straight before producing a fifty from his pocket and handing it to her. "Take as long as you like" she answered before dissapearing in a flourish. "I do belive you just up and bribed the the fairy godmother" The rabbit exlaimed eyes widened in surprise. "Quite" Shade chimed before running out the door to the disco. Shade burst into the foyer just as the music reached a crescendo, Shade rythimacally made his way to the dance floor. He nodded slightly in greeting to the host and gave a small amused smile at Macross before joining in.

Achithyn Because it is an introduction... (likes to state the obvious). Why not play along and write up a reply? BTW, welcome Wyv! I've read some of your posts on www.themightypen.net about a year ago - you're a great writer. It's good to have you aboard AAF. ~Achi

Recurring Fantasy Why is this thread intro. and help?

Nessa-Ciryatan With a twirl and a flourish, Nessa placed one strong but delicate hand in the Wyvern's scaly palm. "I'd be delighted," she said, her eyes asparkle. Somewhere in the background, a black-robed wizard with his robes hiked up ridiculously above his knees shimmied on past them. "Great party!" the wizard yelled. Strange coloured lights and a large twirling mirror-ball that reflected them had somehow appeared on the ceiling above their heads. "Great lights!" Nessa called back with a grin. "Welcome to the party!" The Wyvern tipped the skinny wizard a courtly bow, using his tail for balance. Then the lizard-like creature deftly spun Nessa in a tight circle and swept her backwards in what he obviously hoped was a slick and dashing dance move, but almost sent Nessa sprawling most unelegantly to the floor. "Hmm," she said, clutching his scaly limbs for dear life, unimpressed by the near spill. With an apologetic and what he hoped was his most charming grin, Wyvern shrugged and in one neat and perfectly timed move swung her upright again and preceded to boogie her around the room. "One hasss to be quick when dancing with me," he informed her adroitly. Nessa raised one dark eyebrow and regarded him until she caught the gleam in his reptilian eye. "Ha," she replied. "We'll see about that!" Together they danced madly about the room, the black-robed Macros shimming in between them now and then, his hiked up robes and pale knobby knees yet another source of amusement. His enthusiasm more than made up for the frightful sight however, not to mention his otherworldly dance moves. At the door, Nessa saw more figures converge as Arcane Artistry students and Seers received their invitations to Wyvern's "Welcome to AA" party and came to see where the great beat was coming from and what all the fuss was about. Behind them Nessa could just make out the shapes of the polite but firm bunnies who had herded the local residents to the party room congratulating one another amiably and looking very pleased with themselves. "Come on in!" she called to students and Seers alike, beckoning with one graceful hand.

Macros the Black Macros looks at the floating bunnies with lofty disdain mingled with amusement. With a rustle of his black robes, the wizard steps past the ooglers in the doorway and into the room, raising dark eyebrows at the sight of the beautiful elvish woman dancing with the squat but enthusiastic wyvern. "Well, I've seen stranger things." Macros the Black shrugs and lifts his crystal topped staff. He points it at the ceiling and mutters something unintelligible. A disco ball appears but a moment later, called through time and space by his powerful magic. Lights appear as well - blue and red spotlights that he sets to draw their power magically, and soon the party room is lit by a multitude of colors and twirling pinpoints of light from the disco ball. "Time to let loose!" he exclaims, happy with his work. Then, hefting his black robes above his knees and giving everyone a scare at such an undignified sight, Macros leaps onto the dance floor and starts doing the twist, ignoring the strange looks he receives from dancers and watchers alike.